Sans titre

[redstonedust]

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

[catchymemes]

How to make ice cream in Alaska

[snogfairy]

they were just some guys. the whole point was that they were just some guys. they met in Eden. Aziraphale didn't like Crowley because he met him as an angel and saw the good in him. he met him as a demon on a random day that was the most important day in the beginning of the world because they both made it that way. they met and they quite simply hit it off. they kept meeting again and again because they sought each other out, not because some red string of fate twirled by god forced them together. two like-minded emissaries on earth. they liked each other from the start and neither felt bad about it at all. they both recognized that angels and demons were the same. they were equals. they challenged each other and grew together but also they were lazy bastards who didn't care about humans all that much. they cared about their earthly pleasures, like driving irresponsibly fast and hoarding treasures. they wanted to save the earth mostly for egoistical reasons, though humanity as a whole and as a concept had also grown dear to them. they were never more important than anyone else. they were not god's best or specialest little angels or grim-dark generals or leaders of armies or people called upon to make decisions on behalf of anyone. they weren't even good at what they were supposed to do, often consciously so. one was not better or smarter or more right than the other. they were some guys and they didn't give a fuck and they gave all the fucks and cared so much and they were truly, absolutely bastards worth knowing. their friendship and love story was so grand because it was not grand. they were supposed to be just some guys.

[ilyasvodka]

has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet

[princejeanot]

Op the vision is hilarious, you win

[free-my-mindd]

[diedoffscreen]

[mornington-the-crescent]

[sheheatedonmyrivalry]

There is a kid out there who did every single one of his school essays and projects and short stories and friendly introductions at the beginning of the year about Shane Hollander. He did his book reports on the books Shane recommended in interviews. He saved his money to buy that stupid cologne Shane advertised. He got a puck from Shane once at warm ups and he slept with it in his bed for three weeks. He writes his moms name on his stick tape because Shane did it first. He watches the Olympics in awe. He gets into fights with kids at school about whose a better hockey player and its Shane all the way, no matter what the other kids told him or what their moms and dads said. Shane is the best.

And this kid did not have a lot of friends. His teachers thought he wasn't very smart because he made everything about hockey. And they dismissed him when he struggled with math and reading. "if you could just put some of your hockey energy into school, then maybe you would get better." His classmates laughed at the hockey themed valentines day cards him and his mom had to hand make because nowhere was selling hockey themed valentines day cards. And they laugh at him when he repeats the same thing over and over about "getting pucks deep, pucks deep, pucks deep." When he would play all by himself on the yard pretending he was skating, picking up any big stick he could find on the ground, they'd push him around. "Can we play? We'll be defenders" and ram him and take his stick. And he'd just go through all the penalties they would have just gotten over and over again until he can calm down. He celebrated every birthday at the ice rink in his full hockey gear even though he didn't really have classmates showing up. Not for lack of invite.

And his parents try to steer him away from it. They try and watch new sports, they try and get him to watch kids shows, get into things kids his age like, but all he wants to do is watch reruns of the metros cup wins. Wants to wear his hat backwards with his black shirt because that's how Shane looks in the interviews. Memorizes the answers he gives in french even though this kid never learned french in school. And its useless. This kid is hooked and they just kinda have to ride this wave.

So when the announcement comes for the Game Changers camp, these parents do absolutely everything to get him there. They don't care what it takes, this is like a light for all of them really in the midst of all the bullying at school and the meltdowns at home and the obsessive routines that fall apart if even one thing is out of place.

And they explain to the camp that their boy might have a hard time. Might need some time to adjust. That he struggles with math, and reading, and can get caught up in all the rules sometimes. Preemptively trying to say "he's not a bad kid. he's trying his best."

So at the end of the first day, his parents are prepared for a meltdown. Its new, its a lot of kids, the rink can get loud and cold, and he doesn't always do well with transitioning out of hockey. He's hard to pull off the ice at home.

And they can see some upset under the surface when they arrive. He clearly doesn't want to go home. Thats no surprise.

What is a surprise is the way Shane gets down on one knee next to where the boy is sitting upset on the ground. He doesn't move to touch him. He just gets down and the two of them softly have a chat. The boy is tugging on his hair and nodding at what Shane says. And eventually he stands and the parents walk over to them.

"You must be the parents. Its good to meet you," Shane says softly. "I was just going over some things about tomorrow. So that way he would know the schedule."

And they can see their son isn't quite happy, still clearly exhausted. He'll nap in the car and be grumpy at dinner. But he is much more regulated than they expected him to be.

"And, I was telling him about my schedule when I go home. About getting some quite time, making sure I can decompress. I think that's what all good hockey players need, right buddy?"

"Right buddy," he repeats.

And for all the understanding that seems to be there, his parents are just grateful that of all the things their kid could have a special interest in, its Shane Hollander.

[perlukafarinn]

Canon divergent AU where Shane is a little more paranoid and when Hayden first comments on "Boston Lily", he decides he has to do something to break up the pattern and make it not so noticeable that he's got someone on Boston.

Not seeing Rozanov is not an option, so instead Shane picks out a few other cities to regularly go out by himself in. He'll go for a long walk, maybe sit down somewhere for a drink, and then catch a taxi back to the hotel an appropriate amount of time later. It's honestly pretty nice, unwinding by himself in this way, and now disappearing after games is not a thing specific to Boston! It's just another strange Hollander quirk!

Unfortunately, he fails to account for the guys on the team jumping on the most obvious explanation for all these disappearances, which is that Shane now has a girl in every port.

Word about this starts to spread quick, because it is so out of character for Shane, and pretty soon half the league is under the impression that he's some secret playboy.

Ilya is extremely not chill about this rumor.

[perlukafarinn]

@scunthotter

help 😭😭 ilya's playing 4d chess to keep his man to himself and meanwhile shane's like "it's so nice having ilya with me on my little walks 🥰"

[bleekay]

shane who doesn't really do pet names calling rose babe because that's what a good straight boyfriend would do and rose calls him babe back so he's like i am getting a good grade in performative heterosexuality but then they break up and he's gay and rose keeps calling him babe because turns out she calls all her close friends babe no matter their gender and so he just keeps calling her babe too and if other guys think it's because he's trying to get back with her he doesn't really care but it's actually a term of endearment reserved for his girl best friend and ilya absolutely fucking hates it he hates it so much

[shanyshko]

you know i think ilya would get off on choosing shane's clothes for him. shane doesn't really care about fashion so much as looking acceptable for the situation, so when ilya asks to style him before charity galas and important dinners and re-do his array of game day suits, it's not exactly a hard sell.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

one day, ilya thinks, he'll walk in with the hottest man in the nhl on his arm. he'll put him in diamonds and a fur coat, and they'll all know. but for now he just pats shane's chest and sends him out with cuff links that have ilya's initials engraved.

[fractally]

I am a fan of the dynamic where there's no leak and Shane moves to the Cens of his own accord and then Shane and Ilya never come out exactly but they just live openly and all these dumbass hockey players are just like

"Oh yeah they're just like that. They live together and room together and vacation together and get mad if they're separated on the bench. And they kiss in the locker room sometimes but it's you know. They're joking around. Good guys. Gay? Well---no I don't think so. I mean that's weird. Roz is a pussy hound. I mean I've never seen him with a woman but you know he is. Anyway Hollander had that whole thing with Rose Landry and he still talks about her, I think he's still hung up on her. Poor guy. I did walk in on Hollander sleeping on Roz's lap the other day but they were just getting in sync for power play you know? You reporters always want to make everything gay it's so weird. What do you mean 'why do they kiss so much' they're the top goal scoring duo in the league"

[grabmyboner]

im writing my husbands visa application for him to stay long term in my country and now im thinking about shane who is very carefully compiling all the evidence of their genuine and continuing relationship and making a really nice PowerPoint presentation that includes highlights of their biggest hits against each other on the ice and Canadian immigration is like look we don’t need your weird kink shit we believe you’re together no one would actively do whatever tf you’re doing together, here’s his citizenship pls leave our office immediately

[shillanov]

shane has just turned his laptop around to present slide one when the immigration office is like “no need. we believe you. here’s your visa!”. and shane is so upset that all his hard-earned work was for nothing that ilya drives them home and sits himself down on the couch and makes shane present it to him and anya

[sunsetbuddie]

everything about this is so crazy like i have never experienced anything like this. funeral streamed live on tiktok -> buried alive script on jlh's insta but it's essentially illegible then clearer on ostark's insta but he quickly deletes it but also it's april fool's day -> ostark says he lied for promo in a brief q&a -> ostark (always at the scene of the crime) replies to comments about bobby's possible death with 😄😁😃 ALL OF THIS BTW BEFORE THE EPISODE. then, bobby dies -> crucially we don't see a body in fact the episode ends fairly abruptly with a body bag -> interviews drop and bald cunt tim minear stresses that bobby is really truly dead trust me -> also says they did not anticipate bobby's funeral being filmed in broad daylight dtla to be leaked because it's just a little firefighter show (one of THE highest rated shows on abc btw) -> peter posts a goodbye letter -> cast start posting frankly very odd goodbyes on instagram -> ryan guzman shares an rip edit of bobby with a pink bow set to louis armstrong's what a wonderful world -> kenny posts a video edit of peter set to spongebob music -> kenny seemingly cries through an interview -> kenny (another one always at the scene of the crime) replies to people saying they won't watch the show again with essentially, understandable me too -> aisha posts a heartfelt goodbye then deletes it and posts a different more vague version -> also it is discovered that bobby's funeral is taking place at somewhere literally named The Hall of Crucifixion-Resurrection. like does anyone else feel like they're on lsd or

[puds-archive]

what a good morning!! im gonna draw a dog!!

[puds-archive]

apRIL FOOLS I DREW TWO DOGS THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS

[thebloggerskaramazov-deactivate]

the only good april fool’s joke

[puds-archive]

it’s been 8 years and!! I’m so glad this is still making people happy!! (also i’m here now!!)

[kodas]

my legacy :) ruff will be immortal

[cloudabserk]

based on this excellent post

[liminalmess]

ilya is so “rage bait and fuck with you” husband and also he’s very “ahhh shane it’s a spider get it get it” husband

and shane is very “carry me to bed and im passenger princess ipad baby” husband and he’s also “im going to fix things around the house with my bare hands and chop wood manly style” husband

the wife in the relationship is the friends we made along the way (the centaurs) ❤️

[cookbookbutch]

So proud of AO3 for coming out <3

[staff]

we fucked up

[unyieldingsilence]

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