People have this one turning point in their lives that they finally ignite their passion and decide to follow their dreams. I would never have imagined that at this age of my life, i would move back home and live with my mom ever again! But that’s the only way i could follow my dream.
It all started back around 4 weeks ago, I was at the reception desk at my work, signing people in and showing them where the event was. The clock almost hit 9 pm which was when the event was almost over. One guy in a tuxedo suit walked in and greeted me. We were a classmate back in the day and after i graduated we met again at my old workplace, he was working for a company that rented out an office at a co-working space i worked at and here we were, a year later.
“So what do you do now?” I asked him politely while he was filling in his information.
“I’m a CEO now, working on my own business” He said, his eyes were concentrating on the screen.
“Hmm, So you’re no long with Bryan?” I asked while looking at his baby face scrutinizingly. Back in our college years he was in a very cool foreign gang. Their English were on top and each presentation they have given were full of knowledge and on point. We knew that they worked really hard on their research unlike us Thai students, we just copied and pasted and read whatever that was on a slide.
“No, not anymore” He replied “What about you?” He asked with a straight face and that’s when it hit me real hard like a school bus! A year has passed but i’m still here doing the same old shit. I remembered talking to myself about a dream i had always wanted to achieve. I had disappointed myself!
After that conversation with him that day. I decided to quit a job because it’s finally time for me to follow my dream and make it happen within next year because i don’t want to wait any longer. One month later, I packed my stuff and got on a plane and here i am, writing this journey that no one will ever get to read.
Moving back home was a little bit different from what i thought it would be. Is it far from my expectation? I wouldn’t say so because even though i feel like i have this hole inside of me but it’s not like i never had it before. It’s just the hole got a little bit deeper since i moved back here. Because a lot of people would say that moving back home is a regression. But I know reasonably why i moved back here. I just wanted to space out from whatever chaos i had back in Bangkok and decided to move back home was the right thing to do because i would have more time to focus on myself and the skills that i need to improve and these skills do not require me to live in Bangkok. It must have been because of me not accustomed to being home. I hadn’t lived here for almost 10 years, i need a little time for that to adjust until everything falls into place.
One of the obstacles i had so far since i moved back home was from the fact that i hadn’t lived with my mom in such a long period of time and she’s in her menopause maze. So her mood has been really fluctuating. That’s something i have to learn how to cope with.
As i’m here, writing this wonderful journey, i haven’t felt like myself in such a long time and i’m grateful that i have chosen this road to follow my passion and my dream. I feel like i’m on the right path and the right direction. A lot of people might say “Follow your dream? That’s how you become homeless” and you know what? I don’t give a fuck about being homeless as long as i get to do what i love. I won’t say it’s not scary at all because it is fucking scary but I’d rather become homeless and got zero money in my pocket than living a meaningless/miserable life. At the end of the day, i have zero clue where this journey would take me but I’m glad i did choose this path because i don’t want to spend the rest of my life with the word “REGRET”