thoughts.

critical thoughts on life, love and faith.

[behkarn]

On Being Single.

Holidays are hard.  No, let me rephrase, holidays are hard when you’re single.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy to see my friends in happy and successful relationships but it’s hard.  When you read captions like, “blessed” or “so thankful for this Man” it’s difficult not to feel envy in your heart.  Why didn’t God bless me this year?  Why am I not given the gift of a Godly relationship?  The answer is simple and can be summed up by one piece of scripture.  Proverbs 3:5 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean onto your own understanding.” We as humans are so prone to think we have the answers to our problems.  To question why God has not blessed you with a relationship is to doubt His divine timing.  To become envious of others is to doubt that God’s plan for you is perfectly made.  Instead of feeling envy in our souls, we should try to feel joy.  Enthusiastically pray for the future God has perfectly planned for you.  Praise God for the situations He has delivered you from previously in the dating realm.  Offer your thanks to the creator of love.  At the end of the day, no man is going to fill the space in your heart as God can.  Enjoy the time you are given with your creator as he is offering you completely undivided time with Him.  Instead of viewing our relationship status as a burden, we should view it as an opportunity to grow with God.

[behkarn]

Purpose

If you’re familiar with my story, you’re aware I’ve just come down from a HUGE adrenaline rush of moving from rural Iowa to Seattle Washington.  Let me just tell you, if you want an exhilarating experience, move across the country solo.  It’s AMAZING.  I highly recommend it.  However, in that three months pre and post move I was so focused on making my move as smooth as possible and in turn lost a large amount of my drive for other things and my interest in anything that didn’t revolve around helping me make this move seamless.  So now that I’m coming off of that huge task unscathed (relatively) I’m coming back to the real world and it’s strange.  After achieving my master task and hooking a job I’ve literally dreamed about, I feel a little disappointed.  Yup.  It doesn’t make any sense right?  I did something I never thought I’d be able to pull off, I should be elated.  But as I extended my circle of focus I realized I had neglect and darn near forgot other parts of my life that I was trying to improve.  So frustrating.  So now as I adjust to my new normal, I feel at a loss.  All my tasks are so far off their timeline that motivation is hard to find.  After big life changes, how do we find whats important to us?  How do we find our purpose?  I wondered these questions almost on a nearly constant basis for the last two weeks.  Almost as a last ditch effort, I went to church last weekend.  Finally, in the pew of a church I had never been to, my soul finally found the rest it was looking for.  The sermon was perfect.  Basically it was this, Jesus himself told the Pharisee there is nothing you can do in this life to earn your way to heaven.  Work isn’t how you grow close to God, spirit is.  Basically, it felt like God had felt me struggling to find purpose and said, “Don’t worry, I love you anyway.”  It’s amazing how his word finds us when we need it.  Instead of seeking purpose, I’m patiently waiting for God to reveal it to me and I encourage you to do the same.