The Umbrella Academy x Reader
Agreeing to filming this reality TV show was one of the most ridiculous ideas you’ve ever been on board with.
“A bonding experience” Sloane had said when she brought it up. Backing it up with the notion that you were all family, despite what timeline you were from.
Viktor, bless his heart, was the first to fold. Always the sucker for keeping peace in the family. And after hours of persistent persuasion, got the tougher family members to go along with it.
You and Five both argued that nobody needs to be in your business anymore than they already are. You mostly because you were camera shy, rather than Five's reasoning.
In the end, ultimately everyone agrees, Allowing a camera crew into your shared home with a fair amount of enthusiasm.
Now, you all stand around a coffee machine, or what remains of the coffee machine. Various pieces of the item scattered along the counter top and the floor.
You could hear five grumbling behind you about finally getting a coffee machine only for it to be destroyed. You felt for the poor boy really. Coffee was more important to Five than, well Five was to Five.
Marcus, the sparrows number one, had called you all together, trying to solve the mystery as to who broke it and if you were being entirely honest, you were already over this self proclaimed “family meeting”.
“So who broke it, I’m not mad. I just want to know” True to his word, he didn’t seem angry, although he was more relaxed than a normal person would be if they discovered their coffee machine broken. If you paid money for something you’d be angry that it’s been destroyed.
Nobody answered, even Five had stopped his angry ranting to god knows who. Between the 14 of you, this was the quietest it’s ever been. Nobody wanted to step up, and you couldn’t blame them.
It’s three in the morning and a handful of people had already turned in for the night before being rudely interrupted, and even though some of the family were still awake you all stood in your pajamas.
You mentally snorted as your eyes flickered to Luther, who was wearing the owl onesie you gifted him for his birthday, a cheap present considering it was also yours and the other five siblings' birthday .It warmed your heart that he had kept it.
The ruckus also woke the camera crew, who you had so kindly let stay with y’all, prepped with cameras and lights, ready to capture the drama.
So, in order to save you all from this misery, you broke the silence. “I did, I broke it”, and you hoped the lie was convincing enough to let Marcus let go of it.
“No, No you didn’t, Jayme?” Well that didn’t work, you guess that Marcus caught onto the fact that you never drink coffee, or go nowhere near that machine. Either way, he looks to Jayme, questioning the droopy eyed girl.
“Don’t look at me, look at Alphonso”, She drew the attention away from her, giving her other brother a weak point of her index finger.
“What?I didn’t break it” He held his hands up in defense. Alphonso, unlike the others, looked more awake, probably from being accused.
Jayme, raised a suspicious eyebrow “Huh, that’s weird, how did you know that it was broken?” You facepalmed at the ridiculously obvious question.
“Because it’s right there in front of us and it’s broken” Viktor points out, confused as to why she would ask such a thing while you made a note to yourself to tease him about his bed head when this is all over.
“Very suspicious, if you ask me” Jayme says, to which Ben groans.
“This…” He gestures to everyone in the room, still including the camera crew. “Is ridiculous, can’t we just finish this in the morning?”
“No” You jump as Five exclaims from behind you. Out of everyone here you had thought Five would be the least interested.
Through your furious heartbeat, you looked at the boy in question, opening your mouth to speak to him.
“Why the hell do you care?” Allison spoke first, and your voice died in your throat. You closed your mouth, seeing no reason to continue looking like a fool.
The cube, Christopher, shook, its color changing indicates that he’s speaking. The only ones that can understand him are the sparrows so you're used to just ignoring him.
Fei agrees with what Christoper says, prompting Diego to lean toward you. “What the hell did he say?” Your only response being a shrug of your shoulders. He knows none of the umbrellas can understand the talking, floating cube but that doesn’t stop him from asking EVERY. SINGLE.TIME.
“If it matters, probably not, but Sloane was the last one to use it.” Fei says, no longer sporting her signature glasses, and the scars on her face are more apparent under the moonlight and lights from the cameras.
“Lair, I don’t even drink that crap.” You and her both, Maybe you both could advocate for a “coffee kills” fundraiser.
“Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee machine earlier?” Fei retaliated, crossing her arms.
“I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that fei.”
“Goodie, another beauty guru, do you think you could help me? Cause my cuticles are jacked up” Klaus spoke up, his voice soft and filled with sleep.
Diego clamps a hand on Klaus’s shoulder, and you can’t tell if the action was meant to shut him up or comfort him. But it seemingly worked in doing both.
“Okay, let’s not fight please. I broke it. Let me pay for it Marcus” You try again, and you hear a chorus of “yeahs” and “let us sleep” from all around you.
Marcus wasn’t buying it. “No! Who broke it” He was so pressed about the situation while everybody else couldn’t care less.
“Marcus, Luther has been awfully quiet “ Fei accuses.
“I broke it, I burned my hand so I punched it.” Marcus was being interviewed separately by the camera crew, sitting confidently cross legged on the couch. Proud of himself.
In the background he could faintly hear the rest of the siblings arguing, adding to his joy “I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick”
Marcus smiled. “Good, It was getting a little chummy around here.”
This was based on an incorrect quote I saw so I hope you enjoyed.
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