THE ABYSS

Pain, Pleasure, Punishment, Addiction, Abandonment, Lonliness, Fears, Dreams, The Tragedies,The Victories, The Arenas,The Journeys, The Gifts, The Goals Undefinable Wisdom, Unrelenting Strength, The Real stuff, ME.. and my walk, back to GOD!

[hiswordsarekisses]

[bellajennnella]

#sandalsochibeachclub #sandalsochibeachja #sandalsochibeachresort #missethelspianosingalong #nightlyentertainment #excellentsinging #toomuchfuntogether #greatnewfriends #stillwild #stillfree #stillme (at Sandals Ochi Beach Resort) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgr-xC9uficQbuupzxYptvC_7TimTamnwVYqTw0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bellajennnella]

The weather started getting rough.. the tiny ship was tossed... The Jamaican crew actually said, "nutting good coming now Mon" 😳😝 #sandalsochibeachja #sandalsochibeachresort #sandalsochibeachclub #snubaadventure #fantastictrip #stillwild #stillfree #stillme (at Sandals Ochi Beach Resort) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgr4dnauXkVuK8T-fSRGXpuT4MGUWvcJc7dJG40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bellajennnella]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a take, a take of a fateful ship... That started from this topic port aboard this tiny ship.. #snubaadventure #ochoriosjamaica #sandalsochibeachja #sandalsochibeachresort #stillwild #stillfree #stillme (at Ocho Rios, Jamaica) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgr1cDzuY-NoWm4krmF6ruIiVaSajY21Yk4mHo0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bellajennnella]

Here in East Texas, we recently had a few good days of snow. Growing up in Southern California, we had a home in the local mountains, and that's one thing I miss, snow capped mountains. So, it's a blessing to be able to enjoy it without packing up the car to drive two hours, while worrying about snow chains and icy roads. Just instead stay home and have the snow come to me.

It takes me back to my carefree days of childhood, and I find myself giddy at the thought of impending snowfall, like a child. I can't wait to run out and stand in it, throw some snowballs, even make a snow angel or two.

While doing so, this last week I began to contemplate Jesus' words in Mark 10:13-16,

"Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven"

I found myself prompted to go back and simply remember it all, through the eyes of a child, my childhood. My most cherished memories and I realized that through those eyes I experienced the full fruits of the Holy Spirit.

I remembered the Joy in running out to make a snow angel, or catch snowflakes on my tongue.

I remembered Kindness of other kids outside who asked "Hi, you wanna come sledding with us?" No judgements, just an offer of friendship.

I remembered the Goodness in that same new friend saying "wanna come to my house for a cup of hot cocoa, and get warm by my fireplace? "

I remembered the Patience it took to stare endlessly at a melting icicle just so I wouldn't miss its fall. Or the Patience it took to get a marshmallow roasted just right.

I remembered the Gentleness my new friends all had for me after I tumbled off a sled, burying myself in a snowbank. The same Gentleness I repaid them when their turn came to tumble.

I remembered the Self-Control it would take to layer up with long Johns, coat, boots, 2 layers of socks, gloves over mittens, complete with a hat before running out into the cold. The same Self-Control it would take to remove most of it on the back porch before coming back inside.

I remembered the Faithfulness I had in knowing that no matter the severity of the storm coming or the condition of the drive up the winding mountain road, that Daddy would get us there safely.

I remembered and experienced Peace. A calm tranquility in the stillness of staring out at a world bathed in untouched and perfect glistening white. And I felt an overwhelming amount of Love poured out on this world. The purity of the saviors blood literally washing away everything dark, dirty, and messy, and purifying it in a perfect bath of shimmering white.

Through those pure and innocent eyes of a child, eyes still untouched and unchanged, uncorrupted by the evils and principalities of this world, it was easy for me to understand Paul's teaching in Galatians 5:23-25

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self-Control. There is no law against these things. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. "

I pray Heavenly Father that we always use our child-like eyes to bring forth the best good and healthy fruits in our lives, so that we may inherit your kingdom. I pray that we are reminded daily of your love for us, and your son's awesome sacrifice that purifies and sanctifies us. I thank you for the blessing of good friends and family that help comfort and provide for us during our storms in life, and that you always keep us safe. I ask Father for continued blessing over your people as we wait for the joyous day when Christ Jesus return! Amen!

[bellajennnella]

I've never been fond of housework, or any chores for that matter. But, the one I've resisted the most is taking out the garbage. Perhaps because it was the first chore assigned to me as my sole responsibility at 6 years of age.

I tried to resist what my young mind believed to be a ridiculous idea; even barely filled trashcans with no more than a few tissues in them needed to be carried outside and emptied daily before I could go out to play. So, I lied about completing my chores in hopes of avoiding them, which inevitably led to being punished and missing out on play time all together. My Mothers inquiring tone haunts me to this day everytime I see a trashcan, full or empty. Undoubtedly the same reason most of the trashcans in my home reach an overflowing state before they get emptied. My own patterns, habits, and stubbornness!! I have a really hard head, admittedly.

But this morning at 6AM, my perspective on overflowing trashcans changed. Each time I struggled to press down one more piece of trash, three more pieces would topple to the floor. Strangely, I found myself giving thanks. Thank you Jesus for my overflowing trashcan. Proof that I've never gone hungry. Proof that I've been able to provide for myself, and my animals. Proof that we've wanted for and needed nothing. My trashcan is overflowing.

Jesus taught us in Matthew 5:41

"if someone should force you to go one mile, go with him two."

In other words, give the extra effort, go that extra mile, empty those half filled trashcans, even when you aren't asked. How much easier life would have been had I simply made the choice to happily and cheerfully empty unfilled trashcans, rather than being punished for lying.

We as Christians are all called into service in Christ's kingdom to love and serve him, which starts with loving and serving one another and should always begin in our own homes. But do we always serve willingly? Gladly? Or is it out of obligation?

Jesus also taught in Luke 6:38

"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” -

Father, I pray you remind us daily to go beyond obligation and expectation gladly with open hearts, and willing spirits to serve each other and serve you and your kingdom. I thank you Father for always providing over and above everything that is needed in abundance. I pray that we all continue to reflect love, generosity, kindness and compassion for each other in your son Jesus name! Amen.

[bellajennnella]

"The breast surgeon just confirmed it's malignant."

I sat frozen, staring at those words on my phone in shock. My eyes welled with tears, my hand covered my open mouth to stifle the sounds I knew were coming.

"God please no!! Not Tracie!! My best friend since we were 14, my sister! I'm halfway across the country. I can't be there when she needs me the most!"

My mind raced as I continued to beg, plead, then bargain with God...

She's married, a Mother of 4, and the twins are only 10. "Father God, I beg of you, Can't you just take me instead? I'm ready!"

I felt helpless.God said:

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” -Isaiah 55:9

He had a plan.

I lamented over her diagnosis while facts poured in and she endured more tests. I discussed her decisions with her, her husband, and our friends. I cried for her, I cried with her. I worried, and I prayed endlessly asking others for prayer in her name. Crying while I prayed every morning the moment my eyes opened, I asked God to spare her, be with her, send the Holy Spirit to her. Comfort and guide her decisions, comfort her family, and bring her to only the most highly skilled and compassionate practitioners.

Feeling overwhelmed, she stopped responding to texts and phone calls from anyone outside her immediate family. She reached a place in her journey where she needed to go about normal as best she could for the sake of her kids, her husband, and herself. To Pretend.

I was crushed. I wanted so badly to hop a flight and beat down her door, hug her and cry with her, tell her how much I loved her, that I would stand and fight with her to the end, never leave.

I felt powerless.

God told me every morning as I prayed...

"I'm in control. This isn't your fight, get out of the way."

He reminded me gently of what is written in

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. "

It wasn't my journey, it was hers. Her walk with God and she wanted to do it alone.

My walk, was to find the power in simply Loving her, even from afar, and the self-discipline in getting out of the way and letting Jesus do the work.

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.

Tracie finally returned my call, 6 months later to tell she had completed treatment, was clear for now and in remission. We tearfully rejoiced and gave thanks together!!

Our God is always faithful! Even when we think he can't hear us in our darkest hours. He has a plan and purpose. Trusting in his plan isn't easy. But we are called to have faith and believe that he hears us. That his plan, though not always what we've prayed for, is perfect.

[bellajennnella]

Have you ever struggled with perfection?

The need to avoid failure at all costs. The feeling that you can't stop a certain task, chore, or work project until its done absolutely flawless. Maybe a burning desire to please everyone around you. Been late somewhere because you can't get your hair, make-up or outfit exactly as you think it should be? Or perhaps had overwhelming anxiety at stepping out to do something you've never done because it won't be,..."PERFECT?"

The quest for perfection can be exhausting.

I like to travel and take photographs of the landscape that I pass while I go. Memories I can then hang on my wall, save in a scrapbook... Forever.

My camera roll often ends up filled with 100-200 photos of the same day and same scenery because I will stare tirelessly at my phone screen, editing and saving each photo until my eyes are very nearly bleeding.

I change the lighting, crop the angles, zooming in and out. I edit the background focus, highlight the right focal points... Forgetting that I took the picture initially, because whatever I saw... Was already perfect in my eyes.

Thank you God! You are such a magnificent teacher! Even through three of the things I love the most. Photography, writing and travel, your gentle wisdom comes through and you continueteaching me.

I am not perfect. There, I said it. But we are all perfectly created through the eyes, the lense of God.

As Paul talks about in his letter to the Corinthians, in 2 Corinthians 12 he was given "a thorn in the flesh" to remind him or keep him from conceit.

He asked the Lord three times to remove it, and the Lord said "no, my grace is sufficient."

How many times have we done the same with our own human flaws, and cried out to God for not understanding why he doesn't.

Countless for me. But I'm learning to let go and trust.

While Ive experienced some embarrassment at some "less than up to par" moments in my life, I'm also learning that God shows up in miraculous ways and has the amazing capacity to bring good out of even cringe worthy moments in my life when I let go and let him.

I've also learned that by trusting in him and admitting my own imperfections, it makes me more relatable to others. I have seen the good that can come when I humble myself and admit my mistakes or flaws, because that provides me the opportunity to provide wisdom and encouragement to others.

If we all can admit to more of our flaws and be honest, open, accepting and kind with one another, we can build more loving relationships with one another.

That's the ultimate goal. That's what we all need to be striving for, because we are all already perfect in God's eyes... Through the focus of his camera lense!

#perfection #flaws #weakness #strength #Grace #humbling #Godscameralense #failure #questforperfection #exhausting

[bellajennnella]

Does it ever feel like everytime you set out to make time for prayer, time with the Lord something else immediately comes up to block you?

That seems to happen often to me. Just this morning, while attempting to write this I sat down twice with thoughts in mind and as soon as I began, the phone rang...OF COURSE!

Since I was writing the message using my phone.

Block number one.

Turned out, it was a dear friend I hadn't talked to in quite a while, so we spoke for a bit but sadly, the whole time I just kept thinking, "I've got to get off the phone before I lose my thoughts for this mornings message."

Thankfully, my friend understood, and we said goodbye.

As soon as I opened the screen to write again, I recieved a text from my cousin whom I also hadn't heard from in a while... Blocked again, Ugh!

Obstacles... They are always there. Always in the way of our path to Jesus.

It's all in how we handle them though isn't it? We are all busy. We all have things to do, things we'd rather be doing, things that need to get done. Even now, I'm out of cat food, (and believe me when I say, she's bellowing around the house and letting me know) the wetclothes need to get to the dryer and the dry laundry needs folding, there's a mountain of dishes that need tending, the floor needs mopping, carpets need vacuuming, and I'd really like to go get my nails done, plus I've been fighting the flu all week..ugh!

OBSTACLES!

But Jesus says in

Matthew 6:33

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness. And all these things shall be added into you!

Granted, not always easy to do when phones are ringing, kids are crying, doorbells are ringing, there's a mountain of packages at the door, and a list of honey do's, plus animals need tending, and the wolves are at the door.

I get it! Believe me...I get it!

So how do we handle the obstacles placed before us?

So how do we handle the obstacles placed before us?

With determination.

Im reminded of the determination my niece had as a toddler when she first learned to crawl then walk. No obstacle in front of her was big enough to stop her forward progress. Nothing could deter her decided destination. We used to refer to her as "baby's day out."

I once found her scaling an 8 foot entertainment unit just two minutes after I'd placed the remote out of her reach. That's determination! She knew where she was going and had no fear!

You should've seen her trying to get down backwards though when I came around the corner and hollered at her! That took some doing, (and help! Lol)

When she looked down, She instantly knew she'd made a mistake and was stuck. She was up too high and couldn't do it on her own without help. She clung tight to that wood and began screaming and crying for help. Fear had taken over.

Thankfully, I was there to catch her. (And then swat her behind.)

Obstacles will always be there. God allows these things on purpose. Sometimes to protect us from things up ahead that we can't see. And yes, sometimes he swats our behind when we go the wrong way!

I remember the time I was late for an important Drs appointment I had waited 3 months to get because I came out to a dead battery and it took triple A an hour to get to me. By the time I got there, they cancelled me.

Those things instantly trigger an inner tantrum, "God, WHY!!? I've been doing everything right. I'm reading the Bible, serving in church, faithfully following you! What do you want from me!?"

I get angry, impatient. Only to find that had I left in time, I would've been in that car accident on the highway. Which of course triggers the "Thank you Lord! I understand. I'm sorry for my reaction and not trusting in your timing."

See, God's timing is perfect and obstacles are there sometimes to protect us!

But the Lord says—

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

-Isaiah 43:1-3

#fear #obstacles #seekGodfirst #determination #Godstiming #protection

[bellajennnella]

Are you feeling lost, or alone in this ever changing world?

Has the world's landscape shifted so much that it feels sometimes like you aren't standing on solid ground anymore, but instead a heaping mountain of shifting sand?

Perhaps you find yourself unable to find any joy in life, or peace in your own daily life?

Or are you feeling trapped in a dark place? Maybe battling depression, loneliness, sickness, or grief, and its hard to find the light that's within?

These feelings are all too common this time of year. The Holidays can bring painful memories for so many, followed by cold dark nights of winter. And for so many of us it's hard to see the light.

Isn't it amazing how even in the darkest of nights, God gave us stars to light our way?

For God promised,

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)

We as Christians need to hold tight to that promise even in the darkest of nights, and in our loneliest of hours. But, we also need to remember God's promise of our salvation, and whenever we can, be a light to others in their darkest hours. The world can be dark, but that's why we, as Children of God are called to bring the light that the Holy Spirit provides us within.

The world around you may change.

God's love and promise is eternal.

In Psalm 46:10, God says

"Be still and know that I am God. I will be honored by every nation.

I will be honored throughout the world.”

It's easy to get lost in "the world" these days... And what "the world" dictates to us all as important.

The troubles and the worries, the sorrows that "the world" brings to us all. But it's impossible to love God and the things of this world at the same time.

And even though the mountains disappear, and the hills turn to dust before our very eyes... We are called to simply "Be still." Just like the tree in the photo in the midst of it all and KNOW with our whole hearts that

Our God is in CONTROL.

Our God is MIGHTY.

Our God is FAITHFUL.

Put your full faith in him, I promise you, he will never leave you!

Be blessed!

#lonliness #darkness #fear #trapped #alone #sickness #grief #fear #Godspromises #bestill #salvationinJesus #theworldwillturntodust #loveofGodremains #joy #peace

[bellajennnella]

Have you ever felt broken? Physically, emotionally? Spiritually?

The funny thing about healing is that once healed, we still carry scars, the memory of our brokenness just like this Sequoia.

What a powerful reminder that we should never be ashamed of our own brokenness and healing, because it is through that very brokenness and healing that we can encourage, help, and shelter others.

We must always remember in our brokenness, our God is still using us in his time, "for such a time as this," perhaps to make a way for others as they heal from something similar.

We read in Esther 4:14, one of my favorite verses,

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?

For you see, Gods always got this.. But he uses us, and we may miss our calling, our "Royal position" in his kingdom if we choose to overlook our "time such as this" to help.

Just as he heals you, so can you, provide a healing, a safe place, a shelter for another, while they heal. Just like the mighty Sequoia!

We are all here to love and help one another. ❤️

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91: 1-2

Keep trusting, Keep Believing, Keep your eyes on him.. Our God is faithful, and will never fail you

#fortress #brokeness #esther4:14 #forsuchatimeasthis #Godisfaithful

[bellajennnella]


Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way

Janet Fitch, White Oleander

[souhailbog-deactivated20240510]

Magic Sunset By Nacho Zàitsev

[the-softwitch]

Full Moon 🌿🌕🍃

There’s a full moon this week so that means another post from me! I hope you enjoy this info on things to do with and on the full moon!

Full moons are great, I like to think of them as a joyous celebration. They stand for success, increase in psychic ability, courage, strength, happiness, wisdom, and more!

Things to do:

Divination // your psychic abilities are enhanced and this is a time of enlitenment, ask the tough questions!

Make moon water // lots of moon water!

Psychic work // this is the time to practice or use spell work to strengthen your abilities.

Honor moon related deities!

Throw a party // I’m not kidding this is a time for celebration!

CHARGE EVERYTHING

Take action // all that planning you did on the new moon is waiting and today’s the day to follow through.

Spell work // the best ones to do right now are: confidence, advancement, luck, and love!

What will work:

Lilac, Primrose, Carnation, Rose

Basil, Bay Leaf, Nutmeg, Sage

Purple, White, Light Blue, Pink

Agate, Calcite, Aventurine, Moonstone

Juniper, Willow

Alright, I hope this is helpful in all of your full moon endeavors!

Have an amazing full moon // 🕯🌕

[witchingtime]

“The Sun sees your body, the Moon sees your soul” Happy Full Moon!🌕

[violentviolette]

sometimes i am suddenly reminded that childhood abuse is not a universal experience and that some people have loving and supportive parents who have never traumatized them and im just like ????

[bellajennnella]

#Ditto

[purplebuddhaproject]