The cold February air follows you as you make your way home, the weight of exhaustion settling deep in your bones. Work had been long, draining, and all you could think about was curling up in bed with Sunghoon, feeling the warmth of his embrace chase away the dayâs stress.
But as tired as you are, you canât help but smile down at the small paper bag in your hands. Inside sits a heart-shaped donut, freshly bought from the little bakery next to your job. Itâs nothing extravagant, but it means something.
You and Sunghoon had agreed to skip Valentineâs this year. Money was tight, and neither of you could afford fancy gifts or elaborate plans. It made sense, and yet⊠you couldnât resist. Sunghoon had been your rock for the past three years, the person who made every tough day a little easier, every small moment feel like something worth cherishing. Even if it was just a simple donut, you wanted to do something for him.
With that thought in mind, you finally reach your apartment, unlocking the door with a familiar click. But as you step inside, you freeze.
The usually dim space is glowing with soft, golden light. Fairy lights are draped across the walls, casting a warm hue over the small living room. Tiny candles flicker on the coffee table, their gentle flames illuminating an array of snacksâyour favorite chips, a neatly arranged stack of chocolate bars, and even a steaming cup of instant ramen.
And in the middle of it all stands Sunghoon.
He looks almost shy, his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants, lips curling into that familiar, boyish smile that never fails to make your heart stutter.
âIâŠâ You struggle to find the words, your eyes flickering between him and the cozy setup heâs created. âSunghoon, what is all this?â
He takes a step toward you, eyes filled with nothing but warmth. âI know we agreed not to do anything this year,â he says softly, âbut how could I not?â
Your heart swells at his words. Sunghoon has never been the type for grand gestures or overly dramatic declarations of love, but he doesnât need to be. His love is quiet, steadyâwoven into the little things, like making sure your favorite snacks are always stocked or holding you close when the world feels too heavy.
A small laugh escapes you, shaking your head as you step forward. âYouâre unbelievable.â
He chuckles, tilting his head. âI get that a lot.â
Without another word, you reach into your bag and pull out the heart-shaped donut, holding it up between you. âLooks like Iâm not the only one who doesnât know how to listen.â
His eyes flicker to the donut, a smirk tugging at his lips. âUnbelievable,â he teases, mimicking your earlier tone. âWeâre both terrible at following rules.â
You let out a soft laugh before he pulls you into his arms, wrapping you in the kind of hug that makes the rest of the world fade away. He smells like homeâlike fresh laundry and the faintest hint of the cologne you got him last year.
His arms tighten around you, like he never wants to let go. And for a while, neither of you do.
Then, he slowly pulls back, his hands cupping your face with gentle familiarity. His thumbs brush over your cheeks as he leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. Itâs slow, unhurriedâlike heâs savoring the moment, like youâre the only thing that matters.
When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours and whispers, âHappy Valentineâs to my favorite girl.â
You raise an eyebrow, feigning offense. âFavorite girl?â
Sunghoon scoffs, shaking his head as he lets out a quiet laugh. âMy only girl.â
âThatâs more like it.â
He grins, stealing another quick kiss before tugging you toward the couch. âCome on, I got all your favorites. And yes, before you ask, I left the last chocolate bar for you because Iâm obviously the best boyfriend ever.â
Your jaw drops in playful disbelief. âNo way. The last chocolate bar? You must really love me.â
Sunghoon smirks, stretching his arms over the back of the couch. âObviously.â
You roll your eyes but canât fight the smile tugging at your lips as you settle in beside him. The two of you spend the night exactly like thisâsharing snacks, making dumb jokes, and laughing so hard your stomach hurts.
Despite your tiny apartment, despite the lack of extravagant gifts, despite the promise to skip Valentineâsâthis moment, with him, is perfect.
Because at the end of the day, love isnât about expensive gifts or grand gestures. Itâs about Sunghoon saving you the last chocolate bar. Itâs about you surprising him with a simple heart-shaped donut.
Itâs about the way he holds you close, whispering, âI love you,â like itâs the easiest thing in the world.
And as you rest your head against his shoulder, you realizeâthis is more than enough.
â synopsis: a high-profile case pulls you back to Korea, forcing you to confront the past youâve spent two years avoidingâincluding the man who once shut you out. With old wounds reopening and a career-defining opportunity on the line, you must decide whether to keep hiding in the background or finally take center stage.
synopsis: a high-profile case pulls you back to Korea, forcing you to confront the past youâve spent two years avoidingâincluding the man who once shut you out. With old wounds reopening and a career-defining opportunity on the line, you must decide whether to keep hiding in the background or finally take center stage.
pairings: jake x reader; jay x reader (??) ; a couple of strangers
genre: friends to lovers ; exes to possible lovers; angsttttt; fluff ; slow burn (sorry); swearing; lots of falling outs
warnings/notes: Hi there! Thanks for giving this story a chance! This is sort of an introduction before the chaos hits. Thereâs not much to warn about this chapter except mentions of friendship dynamics and favoritism đ.
The shrill ring of your phone cut through the haze of sleep. Groggily, you fumbled around your nightstand before finally grabbing it and bringing it to your ear.
âRise and shine, sleepyhead,â Jayâs amused voice greeted you.
You groaned, rolling onto your side as you squinted at the clock. Your heart dropped.
âJayâ you hissed, already throwing off your blanket. âWhy are you calling me?!â
âBecause I knew youâd sleep through your alarm,â he replied smoothly. âMock trialâs in less than an hour, Y/N. Youâre welcome.â
Your brain barely had time to process the words before pure panic set in.
âOh my godâJay, why didnât you call me earlier?!â
Jayâs laugh was lighthearted but entirely unhelpful. âBecause this is funnier.â
You hung up on him.
Still tangled in your sheets, you scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over your own feet as you bolted toward the bathroom. Toothbrush in one hand, blazer in the other, you moved as quickly as humanly possible, mentally cursing yourself for staying up so late preparing for today.
At leastâat leastâyou had laid out your clothes last night. One less thing to worry about.
Not five minutes later, you sprinted out of your apartment, only to skid to a stop at the sight of Jayâs car idling by the curb. He leaned against the driverâs side, arms crossed over his chest, grinning as if this was the most entertaining thing he had ever seen.
âDid you drive here?â you asked, still slightly breathless.
âFigured youâd need a ride,â he said, opening the passenger door. âHurry up. Weâre gonna be late.â
Muttering a string of curses under your breath, you slid into the seat, tossing your bag at your feet as you fasten your seatbelt.
Jay barely gave you a second before glancing over, amusement still dancing in his eyes. âMight want to fix yourself before Jungwon sees you.â
You shot him a glare through the mirror as you attempted to tame your hair. âI hate you.â
Jay laughed as he pulled onto the main road. âNo, you donât.â
The car ride was quiet at first, both of you too focused on the day ahead. You flipped through the case file, double-checking every detail, making sure there werenât any loose ends.
Then, something caught your eye.
âWaitâJay, this doesnât line up,â you said, tapping a page.
Jay glanced over, his brows furrowing. âWhat doesnât?â
You pointed. âThe witness testimony. The defense claimed their client was at work during the time of the incident, but the timestamp on their own document says otherwise. This completely undercuts their alibi.â
Jay blinked.
Then he grinned. âNice catch, Y/N. You just made my job ten times easier.â
You shrugged, but inside, you felt the tiniest bit of pride.
Jay continued driving, but you noticed the way his fingers tapped against the wheelâa nervous tic you had never really seen from him before.
âYou okay?â you asked, glancing at him.
Jay exhaled sharply, gripping the wheel a little tighter. âYeah. Justââ He hesitated, which was also unusual. âI donât know. I guess I feel weirdly⊠off today.â
That made you pause. Jay was always confident. Always sure of himself. Seeing him like this wasâŠnew.
âJay, youâre gonna do great,â you said, nudging him slightly. âYou always do.â
He gave you a small smile. âYeah. Thanks.â
But something in his voice told you that, for once, he needed reassurance.
The air in the conference room was thick with anticipation. Even though this was just a mock trial, the weight of it felt real. The associates who had gathered to observe were seated in rows behind you, whispering among themselves as Jungwon settled into his seat at the head of the room.
Jungwon adjusted his suit jacket and cleared his throat, his expression cool and unreadable. âCourt is now in session,â he announced, his voice carrying easily over the low murmur of the room. âThis is a mock trial, but I expect the same level of professionalism and diligence as if we were in a real courtroom. Counsel, are you ready to proceed?â
Jay rose to his feet, buttoning his jacket in one smooth motion. He was composed, radiating confidence like he had done this a thousand times before which, technically, he had.
âReady, Your Honor,â he said, sending Jungwon a playful smirk.
Jungwon merely raised a brow. âWeâll see about that.â Then, he turned his attention to the opposing counsel, Takahiro, who straightened his tie before nodding stiffly.
Jay glanced at you, and you gave him a subtle nod in return. You had already gone over the case files with him, making sure he was fully prepared. But still, you couldnât help but feel the smallest flicker of nerves as you held the documents in your hands.
This wasnât your moment to speak, but it was your job to make sure everything went perfectly.
Jungwon gestured for Jay to begin.
âLadies and gentlemen of the juryââ Jay started, his voice smooth and commanding as he began his opening statement. He moved fluidly, walking a few steps before turning back toward the table, his eyes flicking toward the associates in the room who were playing the role of the jury.
The case was centered around a high-profile contract dispute, something that, in reality, could make or break a firmâs reputation. Jay laid out the facts with precision, his argument strong and calculated.
But Takahiro was just as sharp.
The moment Jay finished his introduction, Takahiro pushed to his feet with an easy smirk.
âObjection, Your Honor,â he drawled, casting a look toward Jungwon. âCounsel is making sweeping statements without citing any direct evidence.â
Jay barely blinked. âYour Honor, Iâm merely setting the stage. The evidence will speak for itself when the time comes.â
Jungwon leaned forward slightly. âSustained. Stick to the facts, Mr. Park.â
You watched Jayâs jaw tighten briefly before he gave Jungwon a curt nod. âOf course, Your Honor.â
Takahiro shot you a glance as he sat back down, his smirk never fading. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. He was enjoying this way too much.
The mock trial continued, the back-and-forth between Jay and Takahiro growing more intense. Jay was handling it well, countering every argument with his usual wit and confidence. But as you flipped through the case files once more, your eyes caught on something from earlier.
A discrepancy.
A mistake in the opposing counselâs documents.
Your breath hitched. It was small, but significant, something that could unravel their entire argument.
Heart pounding, you leaned closer to Jay and slid the document from earlier towards him, discreetly tapping the section in question.
Jayâs eyes flicked to the page, scanning it quickly. Then, a slow, almost imperceptible grin spread across his lips.
He turned back toward the front of the room. âYour Honor, if I may redirect your attention to Exhibit C,â Jay said smoothly, lifting the document. âThere appears to be an inconsistency in the opposing counselâs timeline.â
Takahiroâs smirk faltered.
You could practically hear the breath he sucked in through his teeth as Jay continued.
âIf we follow their claim, their client would have needed to be in two places at once.â Jay paused, letting the weight of the statement settle in the room. âNow, unless they have evidence proving their client is capable of bending time and space, Iâd say this argument falls apart.â
A few chuckles echoed from the observing associates. Even Jungwon let out a small, amused exhale before composing himself.
Takahiro scrambled to counter, but the damage was already done. You could see it in his clenched jaw, the slight twitch of his fingers as he shuffled through his own notes.
Jay turned to you, tapping the document once in silent appreciation. You gave him the smallest nod back, a flicker of satisfaction swelling in your chest.
Jungwon straightened, glancing between both sides before speaking. âGiven the circumstances, I believe we have our decision.â His gaze landed on Takahiro. âThe defense has failed to provide a strong enough argument. The plaintiffs win this round.â
A rush of relief washed over you as the room filled with murmurs. Jay let out a breath and rolled his shoulders back, looking pleased.
After the mock trial wrapped up, you expected Jungwon to call it a day, maybe give a quick rundown of what went well and what needed improvement before dismissing everyone. But instead, he remained standing at the front of the conference room, scanning the room with that composed, calculating expression that made you nervous for what was to come.
Jay shot you a knowing glance, sensing something was coming. You leaned slightly toward him, speaking under your breath. âHeâs got that face on.â
Jay smirked but kept his voice low. âYeah, this is definitely about to turn into something bigger.â
Jungwonâs voice finally cut through the murmur of the room. âGood job today, everyone. Some of you handled the pressure well. Some of youââ his eyes briefly flickered to the opposing counsel, who was still fuming from the trialâs outcomeâ ânot so much. But thatâs why we practice.â
Takahiro let out a small, disgruntled scoff, his frustration clearly simmering, but you chose to ignore him, focusing on Jungwon.
âNow, letâs talk about whatâs next,â Jungwon continued, his tone becoming more serious. âWeâve got a real caseâa high-stakes oneâand it requires a very specific, carefully selected team. Over the past few weeks, Iâve been deciding whoâs best suited for this, and after todayâs mock trial, Iâm confident in my choice.â
The room went silent. The tension was palpable. You felt your breath catch in your throat, already anticipating the news.
Jungwonâs gaze swept over the room before landing directly on you and Jay. âIâll be leading a small team for this, and the two people who will be taking the lead under my supervision are Jay and Y/N.â
A long beat of silence followed. Then, the murmurs started.
Takahiro scoffed again, this time louder. âOf course,â he muttered, his voice thick with bitterness.
You ignored him, keeping your focus on Jungwon, who was still as calm as ever.
Jay, sitting next to you, exhaled slowly and leaned back in his chair. âWell, guess weâre going to Korea.â
You felt a knot form in your stomachânot from nerves about the case, but from what Korea meant. From what Jake meant. Your chest tightened, but you held it in.
Jungwon wasnât finished. His tone remained steady, but there was an underlying sharpness. âBefore anyone asksâno, this wasnât favoritism. The decision was based on skill, performance, and how you handled yourselves today. Itâs clear to me who is the most capable, and I donât make these choices lightly.â
Takahiroâs face twisted, but he didnât dare speak up. He simply clenched his jaw and stared at the table.
âHowever,â Jungwon added, his voice taking on a more serious tone, âthis isnât set in stone. Things can change. Roles can shift depending on how well everyone performs from here on out. If anyone doesnât meet expectations, if there are any issues, I wonât hesitate to pull you from the team or reassign your role in the case. This is a high-pressure situation, and I need the best from everyone involved.â
The room fell into a heavy silence, the weight of Jungwonâs words settling over everyone. No one dared speak, but there was an undercurrent of discomfort.
Jay raised an eyebrow, clearly processing what Jungwon had said, but stayed silent.
You, on the other hand, felt a slight unease twist in your stomach. The uncertainty was there, if something went wrong, the roles could change at any moment. It wasnât just about winning the case anymore. It was about proving yourself every step of the way.
Jungwon continued, his voice unwavering. âThis will be a huge caseâinternational, high-profile. Weâll be handling corporate giants, and the stakes couldnât be higher. But, and this is important,â he emphasized, âthis will be under Hastingsâ orders. So, even though you two,â he gestured to you and Jay, âwill be in the spotlight, donât expect this to be a clear-cut win. Hastings will undermine everything he can, and weâll have to fight harder than weâve ever had to. Understand?â
Jay exhaled, his lips pressing together in frustration at the mention of Hastings, but he didnât say anything.
Seojin, who had been quietly observing, couldnât hold back her thoughts. âOf course,â she said in a mocking tone, her voice carrying across the room. âJay and Y/N, always the favorites.â
Her words felt like an unwanted sting, and it wasnât the first time she had said something like that. She leaned back in her chair, a smug look on her face, clearly enjoying the tension.
You shot her a glance but didnât respond. Jay looked at you, a flicker of discomfort in his expression, but he kept his voice low. âTheyâre always going to think that. Donât let it get to you.â
âSeems like you two always get the high-profile cases,â Minseok added, his voice dripping with sarcasm. âWhatâs new?â
Seojin chuckled softly, the sound almost too sweet to be sincere. Then, her voice dropped to a whisper, just loud enough for you and Jay to hear. âGuess itâs nice being the bossâs pets, huh?â
The quiet jab didnât escape you, and the weight of it hung heavy in the air. Jayâs jaw tightened, but he kept his tone neutral when he spoke next, his voice soft but clear enough for Seojin to hear. âPeople are always going to talk, Seojin. Itâs how you handle it that matters.â
You couldnât help but feel a slight pang of frustration. âWeâve worked just as hard as anyone else here,â you murmured under your breath, âand none of this was handed to us.â
âIâm sure you think that,â Seojin replied, her voice almost too sweet, âbut the higher you climb, the harder it is to stay on top.â
Her words were like a cold jab, and you could feel the eyes of the room lingering on you. It wasnât the first time theyâd questioned your worth, but this time it felt different.
Jungwon didnât acknowledge the whispers. His eyes scanned the room one more time, a small shift in his posture signaling the end of the conversation. âNow, as I said, everyone here will play a part. You all have a role to play, even if youâre not on the ground with us. Everyone will be involved in strategy, intel, resources. The case is bigger than just the people in Korea. But, make no mistake this is a performance-based team. I expect nothing less than excellence from everyone.â
He paused, letting that hang in the air for a moment. âAnd remember, things can change. No oneâs role is guaranteed. If you want to stay on this team, if you want to be a part of this case, you have to prove yourself every day.â
The room was quiet, everyone now fully aware of the stakes. You felt the weight of Jungwonâs words, a quiet determination settling inside you. There was no turning back now.
Jay leaned closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper, âWeâve got this. Just donât let them get in your head.â
You nodded, but a part of you couldnât shake the tension. âWeâll see. Letâs just get through it.â
Seojinâs faint chuckle echoed in the background, but you ignored it. This was bigger than anything she could say. You had a case to win.
The moment you stepped into your apartment, you kicked off your shoes and collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic sigh. Jay followed close behind, loosening his tie and rolling up his sleeves, while Jungwon entered last, his expression as calm and composed as ever. But underneath that cool exterior, you could sense somethingâa subtle tension that had been lingering ever since the meeting wrapped up.
You and Jay exchanged a glance, both of you picking up on it. You werenât blind. The whispers from the room had followed you all the way here. Takahiroâs barely concealed grumbles, Seojinâs sharp comments, and the undercurrent of discontent from everyone who hadnât been selected for the Korea caseâit was all still fresh in the air.
And then it happened.
Jay let out a small snort, the tension finally breaking, and you couldnât help it. You burst into laughter.
The sound of your laughter echoed through the apartment, and Jay joined in, both of you completely unable to stop. For a moment, the weight of the day, of the whispers, the resentment, and everything else, seemed to vanish.
âDid you see his face?â you wheezed, clutching your stomach as you leaned into Jay, who was just as gone as you were. âHe looked likeâlike someone just told him his entire career was a lie!â
Jay, barely able to catch his breath between laughs, gasped out, âI thoughtâ I thought he was gonna combust right then and there!â
Jungwon, who had been standing silently in the kitchen unpacking takeout, shook his head as he set down the bags. His voice was dry, but there was a hint of amusement in it. âYou two are children,â he muttered.
That only made you and Jay laugh harder, the sound filling the space between you.
Jay wiped his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear. âNo, but seriously, youââ he pointed at you, his voice cracking with laughterâ âI swear Iâve never seen someone ruin another personâs entire day with just a few words. The way you slid that document to me like some secret weapon? Flawless.â
You rolled your eyes, but the small sense of pride flickered in your chest. âIt was nothing,â you said, waving him off. âJust doing my job.â
Jungwon scoffed, finally giving in and taking a seat across from you. âIf thatâs what âjust doing your jobâ looks like, then I need more people like you at this firm.â He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his gaze steady. âBut seriously, Takahiro wonât forget this.â
Jay clicked his tongue, his grin widening. âGood. Maybe next time heâll check his own damn evidence before trying to play dirty.â
You let out a content sigh, the adrenaline from earlier still lingering but now settling into something lighter. Being here, laughing like this, felt like the right antidote to the stress of the day.
Jungwon eyed the two of you, arms crossed. âBy the way, you do realize we canât exactly be seen eating out together, right?â His tone was casual, but there was that underlying reminder: public appearances mattered. âYou know, considering⊠well, everything.â
You nodded, a wry smile tugging at your lips. âYeah, yeah. Hence why my lovely home is your dining hall for the night.â
Jay smirked, leaning back in his chair, his fingers tapping the table. âWouldnât want the firm to think Jungwon has favorites.â
Jungwon shot him a pointed look, and for a split second, you could swear there was a flicker of something soft in his eyes. âYou are my favorites. Thatâs the problem.â
The room fell into a comfortable silence after that, and the weight of his words settled in, unspoken but clear. No one at the firm knew how long you three had known each other. No one knew about the group you used to be a part ofâbefore you moved to Japan, before you became a paralegal at one of the most prestigious firms in the city. A group that, at one point, included Jake.
Your smile faltered for just a second, the memory creeping in before you could stop it. You quickly shook it off, determined not to let it ruin the moment.
Jay noticed the shift immediately, his expression softening. He didnât ask, didnât pry he just reached over and stole one of your fries.
You blinked at him. âExcuse you?â
Jay popped the fry into his mouth without a care. âIâm comforting you. Youâre welcome.â
Jungwon sighed, shaking his head as he opened his own food. âUnbelievable.â
But you didnât let the weight of your thoughts drag you down. Not now. Not here. Right now, it was just you, Jay, and Jungwon in this moment, and that was enough.
The sound of clinking dishes echoed through the apartment as Jay scrubbed away at the stack of plates. You leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching him with a mixture of amusement and mild confusion.
âYou didnât have to do that, Jay,â you said with a chuckle. âI was going to clean them later.â
Jay shot you an exaggerated look. âLater? Youâre just trying to pull that trick on me again. And here I am, stuck doing your dishes again.â
You smirked. âMaybe Iâll just leave them for you from now on. Iâm sure you donât mind. Youâre always here anyway.â
Jay paused, hands stilling on the dishes as he looked at you, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. âYou know, Iâm starting to think I should just make a permanent spot here. Might as well bring my stuff, since Iâm basically living here at this point.â
You rolled your eyes, grinning. âYeah, because itâs totally not weird to have your friend live here just because he eats all your food.â
Jay grinned back, completely unphased. âHey, I cook too. Itâs practically an arrangement. I bring the cooking skills, you bring the taste testing. A fair deal, if you ask me.â
Before you could respond, Jungwon entered the kitchen, raising an eyebrow at the two of you. âWhatâs this Iâm hearing about Jay moving in?â he asked, crossing his arms with a smirk.
You looked at Jay, who shrugged, a mischievous glint in his eye. âI mean, Iâm already here half the time. Might as well make it official.â
You shot Jungwon a teasing look. âMaybe you should think about moving in too. You know, join the official team here.â
Jungwon chuckled, shaking his head. âIâll pass, thanks. I have enough of my own responsibilities, you know? But you two really make it sound like an actual living arrangement.â
Jay waved his hand dramatically. âHey, donât knock it till you try it. Itâs a pretty sweet deal. Plus, itâs always nice having company after a long day. You should join us more often.â
You snorted, laughing at how easily Jay slipped into his usual charm. âYeah, youâre so busy with all your important cases, Jungwon. Iâm sure you wouldnât want to be here, hanging out and eating takeout.â
Jungwon raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips twitching into a smile. âIâm just saying, you guys seem to have your routine. But if I did move in, Iâd probably have to take over the cooking. Jay would just end up burning everything.â
Jay threw him a playful glare. âNot true! My stir-fry is legendary, thank you very much.â
You snickered. âThe same stir-fry that almost set off the smoke alarm?â
âIâm proud of that,â Jay said with a grin, clearly unbothered. âItâs called adding flavor to the process.â
Jungwon leaned against the counter with a chuckle. âYou two are ridiculous.â
You looked between them, feeling the familiar ease of this banter. âWell, if Jay ever does end up moving in, Iâm going to need a second fridge just for all the food heâs stealing.â
Jay shrugged with a dramatic sigh. âFine, Iâll just bring my own fridge then. But itâll be half mine, right?â
You both laughed, the playful mood lightening the air. Even Jungwonâs smile lingered a little longer than usual.
But then Jungwon, with a more thoughtful look, glanced between the two of you. âBut seriously⊠I canât remember the last time we all hung out like this, without worrying about something else. Seems like you two have this whole⊠routine now. Guess I miss that. Just⊠a bigger group, not as much on our plates.â
Jay didnât miss a beat. âWell, youâre always invited, Jungwon. You know that. We just donât want to drag you away from all your important work.â
Jungwon sighed softly, leaning back slightly. âI know. But I donât know⊠thereâs something nice about just being able to kick back, no responsibilities. Even if itâs just for a little while.â
You raised an eyebrow at him, teasing. âYou? Wanting to kick back? Since when?â
Jungwonâs smile was wistful as he shrugged. âI used to⊠a long time ago. Before everything got so complicated.â
Jay turned his attention back to drying the dishes, a little softer now. âI get it. We all do. But hey, youâre always welcome to join us anytime. We could use your sarcasm at the dinner table.â
You grinned, flicking Jay lightly on the shoulder. âAnd by using your sarcasm, he means he needs someone to compete with him in that department.â
Jungwon laughed lightly, his usual composure slipping just a bit. âRight, Iâd be a perfect fit then.â
There was a moment of comfortable silence between the three of you as Jay finished drying the last plate. You leaned against the counter, watching them both. Thisâthese small, fleeting moments of easeâwas the kind of thing you all needed more of. Even if it was just the two of them sneaking into your kitchen and arguing over who made the best stir-fry. It was enough.
After a while, the conversation slowly died down, the kitchen quiet except for the faint sounds of utensils clinking and the soft hum of the refrigerator. You leaned against the counter, feeling that familiar sense of distance between you and the others, the kind you hadnât noticed until now. It wasnât just the space between you and Jay or Jungwonâit was the way things had changed. You hadnât really spent time like this in a while, without distractions, without the weight of everything else hanging over you.
You hesitated, trying to push the feeling of loneliness away, but it was hard to ignore. âHey⊠you guys wanna sleep over tonight?â
Jay raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile creeping onto his face. âA sleepover? What, youâre tired of your own company?â
You chuckled, but there was a subtle nervousness behind the smile. âNo, itâs just⊠I donât know. Iâve been feeling kinda distant lately. Like, weâve all been so busy and itâs been a while since we just hung out. So, I thought⊠why not?â
Jungwonâs gaze softened as he looked at you, and to your surprise, he didnât even hesitate. âYeah. Iâd like that. I miss this. I miss you guys.â His voice was a little quieter than usual, the weight of his words hitting you in a way you werenât expecting.
You blinked, surprised by the sudden openness from him. âReally? Youâre up for it?â
Jungwon gave you a small but genuine smile. âYeah. Itâs been too long. I think we could all use some time to just⊠be.â
Jay nodded in agreement. âIâll admit, Iâve missed these kinds of nights. Just hanging out, no work or anything else to worry about.â
You smiled, relieved by their response. It felt good to know that even if things had been complicated lately, they were still willing to share this space with you.
âWell, Iâm glad you guys are up for it,â you said with a grin. âBut fair warningâif youâre staying over, I do have extra pajamas you can wear.â You paused before continuing, a mischievous glint in your eyes. âTheyâre⊠well, theyâre Jakeâs. I never threw his stuff out.â
There was a brief moment of silence as both Jay and Jungwon exchanged a confused look. âJakeâs stuff?â Jay repeated, eyebrow raised. âLike, Jake Jake?â
You nodded, trying to keep your voice light despite the unexpected tension that filled the air for just a second. âYeah, I mean, I couldnât really bring myself to throw out his stuff after he left. Donât judge, okay? I was feeling sentimental.â
Jungwon chuckled softly, though there was a flicker of something more serious in his eyes. âI mean, we all have our things we hold onto, right? Itâs no big deal.â
Jay, surprisingly, didnât press further either, just letting out a quiet laugh. âYeah, I guess I canât judge. Iâm still wearing the same hoodie Iâve had since⊠forever.â
You felt a weight lift off your shoulders at their nonjudgmental responses. They didnât push you for more, just moved on like it was nothing. The space between the three of you felt comfortable again.
âWell, anyway,â you said, trying to change the subject, âIâll go grab the pajamas. You two figure out whoâs sleeping where. Iâm not fighting over the couch this time.â
Jungwon smiled, his usual calm demeanor back. âDeal. But if I end up on the floor, Iâm blaming you.â
You chuckled, feeling the warmth of the moment settle in.
Maybe things werenât how they used to be, but for now, with Jay and Jungwon there, it was like you had found your way back to something that resembled normal.
Or that was until your phone buzzed, pulling you out of your daydreaming. Glancing down at the notification, you saw the familiar name flash across the screen: Heeseung.
A sharp pang of discomfort hit you. The subject line read: Wedding Invitation â Heeseung & Hana. You felt your stomach churn, and for a moment, you thought about ignoring it. But curiosity and maybe a little bit of the old, unresolved pain made you click.
The message was brief, almost to the point of being impersonal.
Please feel free to bring a plus one. No hard feelings about the guest list, but Iâve had to limit the invitations.
You stared at the words, the meaning behind them settling into your bones like cold stone. You werenât expecting to be invited, but somehow, it still stung. The lack of warmth, the formality, the clear divide between what once was and what now felt so distantâit all came rushing back.
âł summary ââ struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in youâone of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoilâtorn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wantsâand spoiler alert? it's you.
âł pairing ââ jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]
âł âá°. 23.7k [never beating the allegations of getting too attached to my works and having too much fun writing i fear...]
âł contains ââ angst! very angsty but only after a lot of fluff...the cheesy cringe type but then it goes downhill real quick...but happy ending i swear!, mentions of insecurities, maybe one or two curse words, fic starts with jake dating og character named jenn, the use of pet names, jungwon practically plays therapist, jake is absolutely whipped for reader but is terrible at communication and a certified idiot . also jungwon is reader's best friend so the beginning sets up the context for that lolz
âł addie's â .á ââ she's DONEEE [do u hear me crying in the background]...so some backstory lore abt this ficâbasically two years ago i had a dream about the ~angsty scene~ of this fic and ever since then, i've had this itch of putting it into words. and when i finally decided to do it, no doubt came out and i thought it was literal fate since the lyrics match the vibe so well...don't tell me it isn't fate guys :') anyways..this is a little different than my typical writing style even though of course i had to include summm crack..but i am still nervous abt how it came out so i really really hope you guys like it :') thank u for all the support and love always <3
You and Yang Jungwon were literally born to be best friends. Â
Like, there was no other option. Â
Your mom? Their high school's poster child for academic perfectionâtop of her class, president of every club imaginable, a certified teacher's pet. Â
Jungwon's mom? Their high school's unofficial social chairâlife of the party, karaoke queen, probably responsible for half the faculty's headaches.Â
Nothing alike.Â
So naturally, of course, they were inseparable. By their junior year, they'd already started planning their futures together, including one very specific and totally realistic goal that all teenage girl best friends make when they're young:Â Â
"We should have our first kids around the same time and force them to be best friends!" Â
"Oh my gosh, yes," Jungwon's mom agreed enthusiastically. "Like, we'll make them share everything! Matching outfits, playdates, joint birthday parties!" Â
But what your moms didn't realize as they were giggling over the playful promise that probably didn't hold any meaning to them at the age of 17?Â
The universe was taking notes. Â
So fast forward a couple decades later, and there you were, baby best friends from birth, fulfilling the shared dream of your mothersâthe true puppeteers in this scenario. Â
All your moms had to do was execute their promise as planned, but the rest of it? The rest of it was easy. Â
You and Jungwon clicked before you even knew what words were, communicating in a series of shared giggles and unintelligible baby noises. By the time you turned two, you were finishing each other's sentences in your made-up gibberish language, and by preschool, the bond was unshakable.Â
You twoâjust like your momsâwere inseparable. Â
By high school, everyone knew you were a package dealâwhere you went, Jungwon followed, and vice versa. So, when he announced your sophomore year that he was leaving to compete on a televised idol survival show, you were, understandably, skeptical. Â
"Are you sure it's not a scam?" You had asked, rolling lazily around on his bed while he scrambled around his room, packing his bags. Â
"It's not a scam," Jungwon laughed, carefully folding his clothes.Â
Despite your teasing, you knew how much this meant to him. Jungwon had been dreaming about being in the music spotlight since he figured out how to work a karaoke machine at the age of six. Â
So when he eventually did make his debut with his group, you weren't surprised at allâit was inevitable, written in the stars, just like how your friendship with him was.
What did surprise you, though, was how seamlessly you got roped into his new world. Â
Sure, Jungwon's life got infinitely busier overnight, but there is no universe that exists in which he'd forget about youâhis non-conjoined twin, ride-or-die, and ultimate life-long nuisance (his words, not yours). Â
And so naturally, you became an honorary member of this new life of his. The boys' practice studio might as well be your new homeâthe endless days camping out on the floor of their dance studio with your head in your textbooks while they drilled their choreography for the hundredth time proved that. Or maybe how you crash on their dorm couch so often that Sunoo coined you your new nickname: their unofficial eighth member. Â
Which brings you to now: a marketing major by day, unofficial idol by night, and, as always, a certified magnet to chaos.
Case in point? Whatever madness was happening around you at this exact moment. Â
"Okay, but hear me out," Heeseung says, gesturing dramatically with his pizza sliceâone of many scattered across the coffee table everyone was sitting around. "Pineapple is the perfect combination of sweet and savoryâ"Â Â
"It's a crime against humanity," Sunghoon cuts in.Â
Tomorrow? The boys leave for their five-month tour. Â
Tonight? Tonight is tradition: the pre-tour pizza bash. Â
Naturally, it's chaos, as no one has bothered with the last-minute packing they're supposed to be doing. Â
Not a single bag is packed. Â
"It's fruit on bread," you scrunch your nose, taking a bite of your own normal pepperoni pizza. "This isn't dessert, Hee."Â Â
"Thank you!" Sunghoon reaches across the table to high-five you.Â
From the couch behind you, Jake chuckles and nudges your back with his knee, "Big talk coming from someone who claims pickles belong on everything."Â Â
"Uh, because they do," you whip your head around to glare at him. "Pickles are versatile."Â Â
"Versatile my ass," Jungwon mumbles from his spot beside you. "I love you, but you're deranged."Â Â
"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I-put-hot-sauce-on-everything'," you shoot back, eyes narrowing at your best friend. Everyone chuckles from around the table at your dramatic, yet endearing, overreaction.Â
"Hot sauce is different," Jay chimes in without even looking up from his phone. "It's an enhancer."Â Â
"Pickles enhance flavor too!"Â Â
"By making everything taste like vinegar," Sunoo deadpans from your other side. "Gross."Â Â
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "You're all uncultured."Â Â
"And you're a menace," Jake quips from behind you, his voice dripping with amusement. You don't even have to turn around to see the smirk on his faceâyou can hear it loud and clear.Â
"Careful, Sim," you say with a sly glance over your shoulder. "Keep talking, and I'll start adding pickle juice to your coffee."Â Â
The room fills with laughter, but before Jake can fire back, his phone buzzes aggressively against the couch. You watch him glance down at his screen before his playful smile instantly fades. Â
"I'll be right back," Jake mutters, getting up and heading towards the kitchen without another word. Â
You frown as you watch him disappear around the corner, the sudden shift in his mood gnawing at you, and you can't help but wonder what's gotten under his skin.Â
After a few more minutes of heated debates over pizza toppingsâand yet another round of everyone ganging up on your weird pickle obsessionâyou decide it was time for a drink refill. Â
Excusing yourself, you step into the kitchen, only to find Jake leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and gaze fixed on the empty wall in front of him. His phone sits abandoned on the counter, screen dark. Â
"Jake?" You call out softly, approaching slowly.Â
Your voice breaks through his haze, his expression flickering as he registers you standing in the doorway, your brows furrowed in concern. Â
"What's going on?" You ask, moving closer to stand in front of him.  Â
"Nothing," Jake says too quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
You give him a look and he knows that you know he's lying, "Jake.."Â Â
He exhales, his expression crumbling as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just...Jenn called."Â Â
Ah. Of course. Jenn. Â
You almost flinch at the sound of the name, the weight it carries instantly souring your stomach. Jake's on-again, off-again girlfriend of two years was a constant source of heartbreakânot just for the poor boy, but for the entire group who helped pick up the pieces of his broken heart after every messy break-upâŠand even messier make-up. Â
"She broke up with me," Jake admits quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For real this time. Something about me leaving for tour and how it wasn't going to work out."Â Â
Your heart hurts at the sight of him in front of youâshoulders slumped, hands nervously twisting the hem of his shirt, as if trying to distract himself from the conversation. Â
"Oh, Jake...," you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as you lean against the counter next to him. Â
"I'm fine," he insists, waving it off, but the expression on his face clearly betrays him. Â
"No, you're not," you say, trying to catch his eyes. "And that's okay."Â Â
Jake lets out a shaky breath, finally looking up from the ground to look at you, before shrugging, "I don't even know why Iâm surprised. We've been...really off for a while now. Like, more than usual. But still, it sucks."Â Â
âOf course, it sucks," you nod, agreeing softly. "You guys were together for a long time. You cared about her."Â Â
For a moment, the two of you sit in a heavy silence with an unspoken understanding, the only sounds coming from the muffled chatter and laughter in the other room. You stay close, letting him process without pushing further. Â
Still, you can't entirely suppress the annoying flare of emotions bubbling in your chestâa tangled knot of sympathy andâŠsomething else. Relief, maybe? Not that you would ever wish any sort of pain on Jakeâbut you hate the way Jenn always leaves him like this: drained, doubting himself, and trying to piece together what went wrong, where he went wrong.Â
"Come back to the living room," you say finally, nudging his side gently. "Ni-ki is freaking out over which hoodies to pack. And I swear, they're all the same black hoodie."Â Â
Jake lets out a small, tired laugh, "You don't need me for that. He's gonna end up packing all of them, just watch."Â Â
"You don't know that," you tease. "Besides, I need someone's back up to help me convince him he's not actually going through an emo phase."Â Â
His eyes carry a faint smile as he looks at you, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to remind you of the warmth he usually carries. Â
"Okay," he says in a whisper, pushing himself off the counter. Â
You start towards the doorway, forgetting about your drink refill entirely, but his voice stops you. Â
"Y/N?"Â Â
You turn to find him still standing there, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation. Â
"Thanks," he adds, a small smile on his face. It's such a simple statement, but the way he says itâsoft, sincere, and maybe just a little desperateâmakes something twist in your stomach. "For just...always being here."Â Â
You smile back up at the boy, "Of course, Jake. I'll always be here for you. You know that."Â Â
For a moment, he holds your gaze, as if taking a mental note of something. Then he nods, his shoulders relaxing.
"Okay," he says, exhaling as he gestures toward the doorway. "Let's go.â
You follow behind the boy back to the living room, silently hoping he knows just how much you mean your promise to him. Â
Jake's body is on autopilot at this point. Â
Another city, another show, another string of flashing lights and deafening cheers. It's a month into tour, and the endless loop of responsibilities has left him no room to just breathe. Â
And he loves this lifeâhe really does. But tonight, for reasons he can't explain, the adrenaline that usually keeps him afloat isn't enough. Pure exhaustion lingers in his bones, heavier than the applause and screams echoing in his memory, and he just canât seem to shake it.Â
When his head finally hits the stiff hotel pillow, Jake exhales with a heavy sigh. The city around him is alive, the neon lights brightly dancing against his windowpane, but he feels none of it.Â
Instead? He just feels the weight of homesickness and the ache of being alone.Â
Normally, he would push through, shove these thoughts into the back of his mind, call it a night. But tonight, the ache feels differentâsharper, louderâand before he knows it, his phone is in his hand before he can talk himself out of it, his thumb hovering over your name on his screen.Â
A familiar battle wages in his mind, one heâs been battling more recently ever since tour became a little heavier on him. Slowly, the quiet yearning has been creeping in, and heâs been missing home more and more, craving the feeling of familiarity. But it isnât just the physical places or the comfort of his regular routine that he craves.Â
Itâs something else, something harder to name.Â
And for some other reason he canât seem to explain, he thinks itâs you.Â
Jake doesnât know when it started. Maybe it was hearing the sound of your voice through the phone whenever the guys called you to check in every now and then. Or maybe it was the way you would text in their shared group chat, your messages always tinged with humor or a sense of calm that somehow made everything feel a little less overwhelming.Â
Whatever it was, it stuck with him. He finds himself craving that unexplainable comfort only you seem to bring. He tells himself itâs nothing special, just the natural pull of familiarity. Youâre back at home, the place he misses the most, so obviously, through association, it makes sense.Â
Itâs logical. Nothing more.Â
Thatâs what he tells himself as his thumb hovers over your name. Itâs not about you specificallyâit couldnât be. Itâs just the connection to home. The grounding warmth of your voice. The way you somehow make the distance feel a little less suffocating.Â
Obviously. Nothing more.Â
He presses call. Â
Two rings. That's all it takes before your voice cuts through all the static in his head. Groggy, soft, and achingly familiar. Like home. Â
"Jake? It's late, is everything okay?"Â Â
Jake glances at the clock. 10:13PM where he is. Much later for you, he imagines. Guilt stirs, but... Â
He doesn't want to hang up.Â
Hearing your voice feels like the first breath of air after surfacing from deep water. He instantly feels more comfortable despite the heaviness in his chest.
"Hey," he mumbles, his voice quiet. "I'm okay. Just...needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."Â Â
"Wow, are the boys that bad that you need to call me?" You tease warmly, despite the sleepiness lingering in your words. Â
Jake chuckles, the sound low and tired, "Nothing against them, really. It's just...sometimes you need someone who reminds you of home, you know?"Â Â
The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. He can hear you shuffle, and he braces himself for a teasing comment about him being sappy and sentimental. But instead, your voice softens. Â
"Well, I'm glad I could be that for you," your voice telling him you're smiling brightly on the other side of the screen. "Though if I had a private jet, I'd send it right now. Bring you back instantly."Â Â
"A private jet, huh?" Jake's eyes flutter close as he's engulfed into the usual, playful rhythm that's always there between the two of you. "You'd do that for me?"Â Â
"Only if you bring back goodies, preferably snacks," you quip back, and the warmth in his chest grows. Â
There's another pause, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. Jake shifts in his spot and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, âHow do you do that?â Â
âDo what?âÂ
âMake everything feel...lighter. Like, I canât explain it, but just hearing you makes me feel like Iâm not carrying all this stuff by myself.âÂ
Your voice softens at his sudden vulnerability.Â
âBecause you don't have to carry it all on your own, Jake. You know that, right? Thatâs what friends are for."Â Â
Jake hums in response, a low sound of acknowledgement as he keeps his phone pressed close, your voice instantly soothing the heavy emotions he's been carrying.Â
"You sound exhausted," you say after a beat, your tone cautious but filled with genuine care. "How are you holding up? With everythingâthe tour, the...break-up, just...you?"Â Â
Jake lets out a low groan, his fingers brushing through his hair. "You sound like my mom."Â Â
"Well, someone has to," you tease lightly, a relieved laugh slipping into your voice, as if you'd been afraid you overstepped. "Seriously, Jake. Are you doing okay?"Â Â
Jake hesitates, the question catching him off guard. He hadn't let himself think too much about Jenn or the breakup since leaving for tour a month ago. The boys knew better than to bring it up, and Jake had been grateful for thatâfor the distraction. Â
But now, with you, it feels different.Â
Safer, easier. Natural. Â
âHonestly? I donât know,â he sighs, the sound heavy through the phone. âSome days it feels like Iâm fine, like Iâve moved on, and other days...itâs like Iâm stuck in this loop of âwhat ifs.â Like, what if I did something different? Or..."Â Â
He trails off to a pause, his throat tight, before he finally admits to you, and himself, "...what if I just wasn't enough?"Â Â
âJake,â you say gentle but firm, cutting through his spiraling thoughts. âYou are enough. You've always been enough. Jenn...she just wasnât the right person for you. That doesnât mean you did anything wrong.âÂ
He swallows hard, your words settling into the cracks he didn't even realize were there.Â
"Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. It's just...hard, you know? Haven't really talked about it since it happened. But talking to you helpsâa lot."Â Â
âIâm glad." He can hear the quiet sincerity in your words. âAnd for what itâs worth, I think youâre doing an amazing job. With tour, with...everything. You've got this, Jake. Iâm really proud of you.â
Jake lets out a breathy laugh, the warmth in your words settling something in his chestâa knot he didn't even realize was there.Â
âYou always know what to say, donât you?âÂ
âItâs a gift,â you easily reply, and he can hear the grin in your voice, the easy banter making him feel lighter. Â
"I missed this," the words tumble out before he can stop himself. Then he quickly adds, as if to explain himself, "It's weird not having you around. The boys are great and all, but you give the best advice. Don't tell them that."Â Â
You giggle on your end, the sound making Jake's lips curve into a small smile and his heart twists. Â
In both a comforting and terrifying way.Â
"I miss it too," your voice quieter now. "But I'm here. You know that, right? Even if you're on the other side of the world, or if you call me at four in the morning like you're doing right now."Â Â
Jake lets out a chuckle followed by a sleepy groan, "Sorry about that. But...thank you, Y/N. For picking up."Â Â
"Always," you reply, and he hopes you mean it. Â
A beat passes. Jake knows he should hang up, that he should let you sleep. He tries to convince himself that you need the sleep more than he needs this call. Â
But he can't help himself. Â
"You'll yell at me if I don't sleep, won't you?"Â Â
"Absolutely. Go to bed, Jake. Or at least try. Zombie mode doesn't suit you."Â Â
"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes feel heavier and he knows he's falling asleep, the tension in his body from before easing away. "But only because you scare me sometimes."Â Â
You laugh. "Good. Now get some rest. And call me whenever you need to, okay?"Â Â
"Okay," he mumbles into his phone quietly, his mind already slipping into a deep sleep.Â
"Goodnight, Y/N."Â Â
"Goodnight, Jake."Â Â
"Don't you have a bedtime, Sim Jaeyun?" You tease, answering the call. The clock reads 1:27AM, and you should be asleepâyou really shouldâbut you smile anyways when Jake's name appears on your screen. Â
"Bedtime? I don't know her," his voice slightly groggy, but as usual, still warm. "Besides I knew you'd be awake. You don't sleep like a normal person either."Â Â
You roll your eyes, knowing fully well he can't see it, "Yeah, well, I don't have to dance around a stage for two hours tomorrow."Â Â
"True, but you do have to deal with my constant calls and keep me entertained. That's way harder."Â Â
"Oh yeah, obviously," you say with mock seriousness. "Being your emotional support human is a full-time job."Â
âEmotional support human,â Jake repeats, chuckling softly. âYouâre right. I guess I really owe you, huh?â
âOh, 100%,â you shoot back, a grin in your voice. âI want one of those tour hoodies you guys keep posting with.âÂ
âDone. What size?âÂ
"The oversized one."Â Â
Jake pauses. âLet me guessâso you can sleep in it?"Â Â
You hesitate, suddenly sheepish at how he knows you too well, âHey, it's only cozy if it's oversized!"Â Â
You hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line.Â
âCute. Iâll make sure to steal one for you.âÂ
You try not to overanalyze the way your stomach flips at the word cute, and the easy way he says it, like itâs the most natural thing in the world. Â
You shake the thought off immediately. This wasn't new, after all, Jake's always warm and easy to talk to. But latelyâover the past month of phone callsâthe way he says certain things, the tone he says them in, and the way they make you feel? It carried a weight you weren't sure how to hold. Â
In both a comforting and terrifying way. Â
âSo, how was your day?â you suddenly bring up, trying to redirect your thoughts.Â
"Tiring," Jake sighs, his voice muffled as he shifts around in bed. "And Jungwon keeps beating me at Mario Kart during our break time. My pride is in shambles, Y/N."Â Â
"Let me guess," you smirk, repeating his words from earlier. "He picks Yoshi, and you keep picking Toad because you think he's underrated."Â Â
"Excuse me," Jake scoffs. "Toad is underrated. But, for your information, I choose Toad because your go-to character is Toadette."Â Â
Your heart does that stupid flip again. His words are lightâI mean, you guys are talking about Mario Kart for god's sakeâbut it's stuff like that that keeps you questioning the true meaning behind his words.
You ignore the feeling, instead, a laugh bubbles up in response, an attempt to sound unaffected.
"You're so weird."Â Â
âBut you like it,â he quips, voice dipping just slightly, like heâs testing the waters.Â
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, but you recover just as quickly.Â
"Debatable."Â Â
âLiar.â
His tone is teasing, but there's something softer behind it, âYou wouldnât still be on the phone with me if you didnât like me at least a little.âÂ
âMaybe Iâm just bored,â you shoot back, though your cheeks are burning at his sudden forwardness, questioning if heâs serious or just messing with you.Â
You hear him hum in response, "Then I guess I'll have to work harder to keep you interested."Â Â
âOh yeah? How are you planning to do that?â You try to match his teasing tone, but internally, you feel unsteady under the implication of his words.Â
âBy being my usual charming self, duh,â he says, his voice dropping into a smooth tone. âAnd, you know, calling you every night so you donât forget about me.âÂ
Your heart squeezes. "You already do that, stupid. You think I'd forget about you?"Â Â
âNever,â Jake's reply is immediate, almost instinctive, leaving no room for doubt. âBut just in caseâŠI like hearing your voice. Makes me feel like Iâm not a million miles away.âÂ
His words linger in the space between you, heavier than the playful banter from earlier. You swallow hard, trying your best to keep your voice steady.Â
âYouâre not a million miles away, Jake.âÂ
âFeels like it,â he murmurs. You hear a pause in his voice, as if he's thinking hard about his next words. âI miss home. I miss...you."Â
Your chest tightens, and your hands grip the sheets beneath you, as if the fabric could somehow ground you. Your heart is doing that thing againâthe erratic, terrifying thing that makes you want to believe in something you're not sure is even real. Â
And at the same time, your thoughts are scrambling to say something lighthearted before the conversation steers into that dangerous, dangerous territory you were sure you weren't ready for. Â
Not yet. Â
"Well, you better win at least one round of Mario Kart for me while you're out there," you force a laugh, trying to mask the tremor in your voice. Â
Jake laughs, the sound genuine, "I'll try. But if I lose, just know I'm dedicating every race to you."Â Â
"Wow, I'm so honored," you try to deadpan, but he can sense the grin in your voice. Â
"You should be," his voice softens again. "Thanks for picking up tonight, by the way. I know it's late."Â Â
He never fails to thank you every night, as if you haven't been picking up every day for the past month and won't be picking up tomorrow, and the next day...and the day after that. Â
And, somehow, the same, genuine appreciation makes it so hard for you to ignore that weird, warm, fluttering sensation growing inside you every time you talk to him. Â
But, regardless, you always give him the same reply:Â
"Always," your voice matching his softness. "Call me whenever, okay?"Â Â
"Donât say that," Jake warns, the teasing edge creeping back into his tone. "I'll actually do it."Â Â
"Fine," you giggle. "But if you call me at four in the morning again, I'm putting my phone on Do Not Disturb."Â
"Deal." He pauses, then adds, "Goodnight, Y/N."Â Â
"Goodnight, Jake."Â Â
As you hang up, you stare at your phone for a moment longer than you should have, your room feeling oddly quiet and too empty without his voice. Â
It's just another call, Y/N. Just another call between two friends. Â
But deep down, a part of you tells you it isnât that simple anymore. Â
And maybeâjust maybeâhe knows it too. Â
âAre you busy?â Jakeâs voice sounds more tired than usual, heavy with an overwhelming amount of tension.Â
âNever too busy for our calls,â you easily reply without hesitation as you lay back in your bed, phone close to your ear. Your voice is light, a stark contrast to the weariness laced in his, and when he doesnât respond with his typical chuckle, you immediately sense his mood. âHard day?âÂ
He exhales slowly, the weary sound answering your question. Today was a lot. Hours of rehearsal followed by a concert, the adrenaline rush of performing, followed by the chaos of having the guysâ hotel information leaked. Crowds of paparazzi and fans swarmed the entrance, the relentless flashes of cameras breaking through whatever little pieces of calm he had left within him. The noise, the pressure, the endless cycleâall spiraled into a mental mess he doesnât seem to shake.Â
The second he settled into his hotel room, all Jake knew was that he needed to talk to youâthe one person who could steady his racing thoughts.Â
"I just...I didn't think this would get to me, you know? The cameras, the people, the flashes in my faceâI'm justâit's like I'm never alone."Â Â
Your heart twists at the vulnerability and rawness in his voice, as if heâs admitting something for the first timeânot just to anyone else, but to himself.Â
"IâI don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, just for a little while. Just to breathe, you know?"Â Â
You close your eyes, your grip on the phone unconsciously tightening as if it could anchor him somehow. Â
"I know it's not the same," your voice steady, even as you internally ached for him, "but...you can disappear with me, Jake. Even if it's just through the call. No cameras. No noise. Just...you and me."Â Â
He lets out an exhaleâshaky, but relieved. Â
"You're really good at this. Making me feel like it's all gonna be okay."Â Â
"Because it is going to be okay, Jake," you reply softly. "You're not alone, Jake. Not with me."Â Â
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, and he wishes more than anything else in this moment that he actually was with you. âI know.âÂ
"Jake," you groan, sitting cross-legged on your bed, staring at the flustered boy through your laptop screen. "I'm begging youâjust wear the black jacket. It's literally impossible to mess up black."Â Â
"But what about the beanie?" He whines as he pops back into view, his face scrunched up in genuine distress. "Do you think I can pull it off, or will I look like I'm trying too hard? Be honest, Y/N."Â Â
What started as a simple fashion-advice-question over the phone turned into a two-hour wardrobe emergencyâall because Jake couldnât figure out what to wear to the airport the next day (because, apparently, airport fits matterâhis words, not yours).
"Jake, you could wear a literal trash bag to the airport and fans would still lose their minds," you tease, biting back a laugh.Â
He rolls his eyes at you, but the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise. Â
"Okay, but seriously, youâre trying too hard. Just go with the jacket, no beanie," you add on, just to end this two-hour long madness. Â
"Hmm," Jake plops on his bed and turns towards his phone camera, and you swear you can see the pout forming on his lips. "But I already posted a preview of the jacket last week. Isn't that, like, repetitive?"Â Â
"Jake,â you blink at him, "it's an airport. Not a fashion show."Â Â
He stares at you for a beat, then lets out a dramatic sigh, "Fine! Jacket, no beanie. But if I see even one criticizing comment calling me basic, I'm blaming you."Â Â
You laugh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness, "Deal. Now go to sleep, Sim Jaeyun."Â Â
His grin softens as he adjusts the camera to fully look at you, pout gone, eyes glistening.
"Only because you said so."Â Â
"Hey," you say softly, answering the call as you snuggle deeper into your blanket, letting it engulf you completely.
The familiar sound of Jake's quiet breathing fills the space between you, and before he even says a word, you already know. Â
"Rough day?" You ask gently when he doesnât say anything after a few seconds.Â
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice quieter than usual, almost drowned out by the low hum of background noise. "I just...I don't really feel like talking right now, if that's okay."Â Â
"Of course," you reply without hesitation, your tone gentle, no questions asked.
On the other end, Jake presses the phone closer to this ear in an attempt to feel closer to you, instantly feeling better from your pure understanding of how heâs feeling, and he thinksânot for the first timeâthat you might be his favorite person in the world. Â
The warm silence engulfs the both of you like a shared blanket, unspoken yet understood. You can hear the faint echoes of his surroundings: the muffled laughter of the boys somewhere nearby, the distant honk of traffic outside his hotel, and then the quiet shuffle of Jake shifting positions in his hotel bed. You catch his breath catching slightly, like he's finally allowing himself to relaxâto just be. Â
You don't try to fill the silence. You know that he needs thisâa moment of peace in the chaos. Instead, you similarly press the phone closer to your ear, as if doing so can somehow bridge the miles between you, hoping he can sense your presence reaching out for him.Â
Minutes pass like this, and for a moment, itâs so quiet you begin to wonder if he's falling asleep. But then, a deep exhale breaks the stillness.
"Thank you, Y/N," he says finally, his voice low but steady, carrying a weight of sincerity that makes your heart clench. Â
"You don't have to thank me, Jake," your voice matches his softness. "You know that."Â Â
"Still," his voice is low, so quiet, it feels like a secret meant only for you. "I appreciate you. More than you probably know."Â Â
You smile to yourself, your heart aching in the best way possible, and you desperately try your best to ignore it, no matter how much excitement it brought you.Â
"Always, Jake."Â
âTell me something about you that I donât already know,â you challenge him, your voice carrying that light and endearing tone over the phone that Jakeâs come to crave.Â
âHmm,â Jake hums thoughtfully as he lies in his bed, eyes closed, just simply treasuring the small moments, like this one, with you.Â
Even though itâs definitely 3AM where he is right now. And he definitely has to be up in a few hours for rehearsal.Â
Oh well, completely irrelevant. Talking about everything and anything with you just felt so right.Â
âI donât know,â he eventually exhales, his brain too foggy to think of anything logical right now. âI feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point, Y/N.âÂ
âYouâre so corny it physically hurts, Jake,â you scoff, and Jake swears he can feel your exaggerated eye roll from thousands of miles away.Â
âOhâwait, wait! I have one,â he perks up, his eyes shooting open as he turns towards the phone in excitement.Â
âHit me,â you say, unconsciously smiling at how cute he sounds.Â
âIâm allergic to flowers.âÂ
The line falls silent for a beat before you erupt into a storm of giggles so wild it makes Jake feel sick from how fast the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering.Â
âThatâs your fun fact? Thatâs so tragic, Jake,â you gasp through your giggles. âLike, depressingly tragic.âÂ
âHey! Itâs not that sad, it could be worse,â Jake hopes you can hear his pout over the phone (you can).Â
âSo youâre telling me youâve never bought a girl flowers before?â You tease, smiling to yourself as you stare at your ceiling.Â
âGuess not,â Jake lets out a laugh, which surprises himself. âJenn used to always get mad at me for never getting her any, but what am I supposed to do? Show up with a bouquet and an epi-pen? I literally start tearing up whenever Iâm around any kind.âÂ
You lose it all over again, your laughter spilling through Jakeâs phone like sunshine, and Jake doesnât even realize heâs smiling so widely until his cheeks start to ache.Â
But what Jake does realize is something unexpected: for the first time in forever, he can talk about Jenn without a single pang ofâŠanything. No weird tension, no lingering sadnessâjust a casual mention and thenâŠnothing.Â
Itâs freeing, this feeling of lightness, like an invisible weight he didnât know he was even carrying has suddenly lifted. He wonders if this is what moving on really feels like, if heâs found his emotional freedom. He wonders when it changed.Â
He wonders maybe itâs not whenâmaybe itâs who. Â
And he wonders if itâs you.Â
Today was supposed to be Jakeâs day off. The golden ticket to rest, recharge, and not think about anything.
Key term: supposed to be.
Instead, Jake found himself knee-deep in the trenches of emotional warfareâand losing spectacularly.
The morning started innocently enough. No alarm, no schedule, just the soft promise of freedom that was so close within his reach. But by noon, Jake came to a harsh realization.
Freedom was a lie.
Because every step, every sight, every breath, was haunted by one inescapable thought: You.
It started with a boutique. Him and the boys had wandered down a cobblestone street in a city that Jake had already forgotten the name ofâcity number ten or eleven of tour? He barely knew anymore. But then his gaze caught on a mannequin in the window.
Big mistake.
The outfit on displayâsimilar to his mindâhad you written all over it. Immediately, his brain spiraled.
Y/N would love that. She'd probably drag me and all the guys in and force me to hold her bag while she tried it on.
He had to physically stop himself from dragging the group inside to purchase it on the spot.
Next? A coffee shop. And there it was: a poster featuring some limited-edition iced peach latte. Jake froze, staring at it like it held the answers to life itself.
Youâd love it. You would order it, (well, you'd make Jake order it, because you hate talking to cashiers), sip it, smile, and probably rant about how overpriced it wasâeven though Jake would pay for itâyet youâd still finish the entire thing.
And then, you'd steal half of his drink, too.Â
Because you always did.Â
And Jake always lets you.
The final straw? A cat. Just a random stray, peacefully lounging on a sunny part of sidewalk, looking like it had zero interest in the world around it. And even that didn't escape Jake's you-obsessed filter. Without even thinking, Jake whipped out his phone.Â
It was instinctual at this point.
Jake [1:06PM]: (attached - one image)
Jake [1:06PM]: thought you'd like this one :)
Because obviously, you needed to see that cat. Immediately.
By the time Jake collapses onto his hotel bed that evening, he feels like heâd run a mental marathonâexcept instead of a finish line, every road led back to you.
He flops onto his bed, hoping sleep would save him from the storm raging in his brain.
Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Instead, it leads him to the complete opposite. He stares at your name on his phone, your contact picture, your last messages to him.Â
You texted him two hours agoâa sweet goodnight message that ended with your usual, 'Don't hesitate to call if you need me.'Â
Casual. Normal.
But it probably didn't mean, 'Hey, please interrupt my sleep from the other side of the world so we can discuss your ongoing emotional crisis over me.'
Don't do it, Jake. The remaining rational brain cells within him beg him to stop. You're being dramatic. She's not the air you need to breathe.
But at the same time, deep down, Jake really thinks you are.
The worst part? You two already had talked on the phone earlierâwhen Jake had another fashion crisis and couldn't decide what to wear for his day off exploring with the guys. Of course, you laughed at him, teased him, but then helped him pick something out anyways. Typical.
Personally, if it was up to him, he'd spent his whole day off on the phone with you. Talking about everything. Or nothing. Whatever you wanted, Jake would've done it, no hesitation.
Don't do it, Jake, his brain warns him again. What kind of obsessed-lunatic calls the same person twice in one day?
Answer: Jake.
But as Jake lies in his hotel bed, thoughts heavily clouded with the image of you and the sound of your voice, he realizes...this wasn't just a phone call thing. No, this was deeper, worse. And somewhere between staring at the same patch of ceiling and replaying every memory of you on a mental loop, Jake tries to rationalize it.
Sheâs just a good friend, Jake. A best friend, even! You think about her a lot because sheâs cool and funny andâŠand she has the laugh of a Disney princess...But itâs normal to think about your friends, right? Right??
But the more he tries to downplay it, the clearer it becomes. This was something else.
And then it hits.
Like, really hits.
Oh my god. I like her.
Jake shoots upright, widened eyes filled with horror, as if the realization itself just physically smacked him across the face.
No, no, no, no, no. This canât be happening.
Jake buries his face in his hands, groaning. But the groan quickly turns into a muffled scream, because the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets.
Because he thinks you're going to be the death of him. He really, really likes you. Not in the vague, 'Oh, sheâs cute' way, but in the write-her-name-in-a-heart-and-doodle-little-stars-around-it kind of way. The stare-at-her-texts-like-theyâre-poetry kind of way. The imagine-her-laughing-at-your-dadâs-jokes-and-enjoying-your-momâs-meals-forever kind of way.
And this feeling? It's new. It's terrifying.Â
It's exhilarating.
Jake realizes in this very moment that he's never experienced this heart-pounding, face-flushing, breath-taking kind of feeling towards anyone. Sure, his past relationship had been meaningful in its own way, but now Jake is realizing that the foundation of his past relationship was tangled up in obligations and unspoken expectations. A tightrope act of Jake having to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect idol, the perfect...everything. He never realized how suffocating it was until nowâuntil you. Because this feeling with you?
This was pure. Simple, clear, and undeniable.
Your sheer existence proved that it's possible for someone to understand him better than he understands himself. Your laugh had a way of making everything feel lighter, like the weight of the world had been momentarily suspended. Just one look from you alone somehow always manages to make him feel like he was still worthy even on his worst days.
With you, Jake felt...himself, for once. Not Jake Sim, global popstar. Not Jake Sim, the boyfriend of so-and-so. Just...Jake.
Jake's heart pounds as the realization sinks in. He's now transitioned from screaming into his hands to his poor hotel pillow.
Because as clear and strong as this feeling is, the doubt is just as overwhelming. What if you don't feel the same? What if this ruins everything?
But at the same time...what if you do feel the same way?
What if this is his chance? The butterfly effect that changes everything? What if you're it? You have to be.
And so, like an idiot possessed, Jake's finger is one millimeter away from pressing call on your name again.
Because, obviously, the best way to deal with overwhelming feelings is to confess them from a hotel room five countries away.
Obviously.Â
Because what if he didn't call? What if he spent the rest of his night spiraling into an endless pit of unspoken feelings and overthinking, arms flailing as he knows the only way out of the pit is with your help?
What if his brain explodes with the sheer amount of feelings he has for you and he never has the chance to tell you ever again?
He presses call.
The line rings twice before you answer.
"Jake?" Your voice is soft, laced with surprise and just the faintest trace of sleep. "It's late for you, is everything okay?"
Jake's brain short-circuits. What time even is it for him? He has no idea, and frankly, he doesn't care.
"Yeah," he blurts, far too quickly that he winces at himself. He clears his throat before trying again, "I mean, yeah. Everything's fine. I just...couldn't sleep."
"Oh," you hum softly and Jake swears the sound alone could single-handedly resolve global wars.
Yeah, he definitely likes you.
"Is something stressing you out?" The genuine concern in your voice makes his chest tighten.
"Noâwell, nothing like that," Jake rushes to assure you, sitting up straighter in bed now, as if you could see him. His voice lowers, almost shy, "I just...I was thinking about you."
Silence. Jake's heart pounds so loudly, he's sure you can hear it through the phone.
"About me?" You finally tease, light and playful, but there's something softer underneath. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?"
Jake lets out a nervous, breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair, âYou exist. Thatâs what.â
Another pause. He hears you exhale softly, and the sound alone sends his heart into overdrive.
"That was smooth," your voice is quiet, soft, as if teetering on the line of teasing and nervousness at the same time. "Ten out of ten, Jake."
"I'm serious," Jake tries his best to keep his voice from cracking, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him. "I was lying here, thinking about everything, and I realized something."
"And what's that?"
Jake's throat goes dry. His heart is screaming at him to say it, but his brain begs him to reconsider.
But Jake's sure he's lost all his rational brain cells for sure at this point, so he swallows hard, and braces himself for impact.
"I like you, Y/N."
The words spill out, raw and unpolished, but so utterly true.
âI mean, I really like you," Jake continues, his voice barely above a whisper now. "More than a friend, more than anything.â
The line goes silent, and for a split second, a lifetime of pure awkwardness and torture of not having you in his life anymore flashes in his vision, and he rushes to fill the void.
"I know this is probably the worst timing ever, and probably really scary...and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," his voice definitely cracks this time, laying everything bare, but he doesn't care anymore. "But I had to tell you. I can't pretend around you, not when being around you feels like the only time I'm really me."
Then, you let out a soft exhaleâa disbelieving, breathless sound that makes Jake's heart skip a beat.
"Jake..."
"You're...you're everything, Y/N. You make life better just by being in it. And I haven't even seen you in four months, but you're all I think about," Jake lets out a small laugh, swallowing the remainder of all his pride and dignity. "I promise, when I'm back...I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. Anything it takes. "
For once in his life, Jake feels completely vulnerableâand yet, strangely, it feels right.
Because he means it, every word.
He's never meant anything more.
The line had gone quiet after Jakeâs confession, his words echoing in your ears.Â
âI like you, Y/N.âÂ
No, not like. Really, really like.Â
You spent the last few days replaying his words over and over, dissecting every syllable, every tiny inflection in this voice. At first, it didn't even seem real. Â
A part of you still thinks it isn'tâthat this is all a cruel dream and you're going to wake up any second now back in the real world. The one where Jake Sim, the boy who turns heads and steals hearts without even trying, didn't just confess his deepest, most vulnerable feelings for you in a single phone call.Â
But no. He said it, alright. Clear as day. Â
First, all you felt was pure happiness. Maybe it was hearing his voice everyday, or maybe it was seeing how his face lit up through the screen when you picked up his video callsâbut somewhere along the way, you knew it was something deeper.Â
Something that made your heart skip when his name lit up your phone, something that left you craving his voice to make your day feel complete. And now? Now the boy whoâd effortlessly become your favorite part of every day was telling you youâd done the same for him.Â
But then, came the fear.Â
Because what if this was just a rebound? What if you were just a soft landing for him, a way to patch up the holes left behind by his past? Here you were, standing at the edge of something terrifyingly real, wondering if you were just a step in his recovery processâa way to fill the cracks, but not the kind of permanence you were beginning to crave.Â
You werenât naive enough to see Jakeâs past relationship didnât still linger in the corners of his mind. Youâd seen him struggle with it before, how hard heâd tried to convince himself he was fine. What if you were just the next step in his healing, rather than something realâa Band-Aid for a wound that wasnât even yours to heal?Â
And worseâwhat if you let it happen? What if you let yourself fall, only to hit the ground at an alarming speed, and...splat. Not just a regular, embarrassing tumble, no. But the kind that leaves you flattened on the pavement like a cartoon character who ignored every warning sign.Â
Because thatâs exactly what it would feel like, wouldnât it? Giving it, letting yourself hopeâonly to crash and burn spectacularly.Â
Deep down, you knew you werenât just risking a little heartache. Because Jake? Jake had quietly claimed a permanent spot in your heart at this point.Â
You were risking everything.Â
And the worst part?Â
You were already halfway there.Â
That was the reason why you told him you needed time. The reason why all you could manage to respond was a meek, 'I just...I need to think about this.' And to his credit, Jake hadn't pushed. Of course, not. Â
But now, three days later, you were no closer to an answer. If anything, the time apart had made everything worse.Â
Because as the days stretched on, with every passing hour, every text you didnât send and every call you didnât make, one thing became gut-wrenchingly, undeniably clear:Â
You were already his.Â
You miss Jakeâs voice, his laugh, the way he rambles about the most random things late at night. You miss how, somehow, he made you fall asleep with a smile on your face from the other side of the world. You miss him, that even in his absence, he was still your first thought in your mind when you woke up and the last before you drifted to sleep.Â
And no amount of overthinking or second-guessing could change the truth that finally settled in your chest like a secret you werenât ready to admit to yourself:
You were his. Completely.Â
The only question now was whether youâd let yourself believe he was yours too.Â
"Y/N?"Â Â
"Jungwon," you groan helplessly into your phone. "Help me."Â Â
A pause. Then, "Are you sure you meant to call me? It's Jungwon, not Jake," he teases lightly. "I can go get Jake if you meantâ"Â
"Jungwon!" You cut him off, panicked. "I'm being serious. It's about Jake, dummy."Â Â
"Oh," his tone shifts instantly as he senses the seriousness in your voice. "Did something happen? Because I swear, for the past three days, Jake's been moping around like a kicked puppy, and I was gonna ask you about it because I know you guys have been talking a lot more, but I didn't want to push, andâ"Â
"That's exactly it, Jungwon!" You wail into your pillow, your voice muffled. Great, now you feel even worse, knowing Jake is moping around, waiting for you. Â Â
"What's exactly it?" Your best friend presses, voice curious. "I need specifics, Y/N."Â Â
You hesitate, the words clinging to the back of your throat like they're too heavy to admit. Finally, you take a deep breath and force them out. Â
"Jake told me he likes me, Jungwon. Like really, really likes me. He gave this whole monologue about how I'm all he can think about, and it was so cute, and it made me want to explode from joy and fear all at once, and I don't know what to do!"Â Â
A beat of silence.Â
Jungwon sucks in a dramatic breath and then, "Wait, wait, wait. Back up. First of all, this is not news to me."Â Â
You blink, as if he can see your look of shock over the phone, "What?"Â Â
"This was obvious, Y/N. The guy's been smitten with you for months. You guys literally have been talking every day since we left."Â Â
Your jaw drops, "So what? You and I talk every day! How is this any different?"Â Â
Jungwon snorts, "Y/N, we text every day. About minuscule things. Like me reminding you not to forget your keys and you ghosting my last text. But you and Jake? You guys talk for hoursâinto the illegal hours of the night, mind you. Trust me, I know. Hotel walls are thin."Â Â
You feel your cheeks flushing, "That doesn't mean anything."Â Â
"Doesn't it?" Jungwon's voice is laced with amusement. "When's the last time you called me just to hear my voice?"Â Â
"Jungwon."Â Â
"Exactly."Â Â
You groan again, "But Jungwon, what ifâŠwhat if he's not over Jenn? What if I'm just a rebound?" Â
Jungwon goes quiet for a moment, his tone softening when he finally speaks, âJakeâs not like that, Y/N. You know that. He wouldnât tell you he likes you unless he meant it.âÂ
âYeah, butââÂ
âLook," he interrupts. "Jakeâs a lot of thingsâannoyingly loud, for oneâbut heâs not the kind of guy whoâd use someone, especially you, as a rebound. If he said he likes you, he likes you.âÂ
You bite your lip, his words settling over you like a warm blanketâbecause you know they're true. Â
âAnd for what itâs worth,â Jungwon continues, âI think you like him too.âÂ
âI..,â you falter, your heart hammering in your chest. âI do.âÂ
âThen what are you waiting for?âÂ
You sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the nerves coiled in your stomach, âI donât know. I guess Iâm scared.âÂ
âThatâs okay,â Jungwon says gently. âBut donât let fear stop you from something that could make you happy. You deserve that, Y/N. And so does Jake.âÂ
You close your eyes, letting Jungwon's words sink in. Deep down, you know he's right, he always is. Â
"Thanks, Jungwon," you say, your voice softer now, tinged with gratitude. Â
"Anytime," he replies, and then, with a teasing lilt, "But seriouslyâyou should probably tell him soon. I can't stand watching him mope around like a sad, abandoned puppy. It's seriously tragic, like, to the point where Iâm gonna have to start letting him win at Mario Kart."Â Â
A small giggle escapes you, light and genuine for the first time in three days, "I know, I know. Eventually."Â Â
"Y/N," his voice turns playfully stern, like a parent lecturing their toddler. "Eventually isn't a time. Just call him. You've been thinking about him nonstop, haven't you?"Â
Unfortunately, Jungwon knows you too well. Your silent response betrays you, and Jungwon lets out a triumphant hum. Â
"Thought so. Well, you should go. You have a call to make."Â Â
You sigh, a mix of nerves and a new determination bubbling, "Okay, okay. But if this goes horribly wrong, I'm blaming you."Â Â
"It won't. But deal," his tone is reassuring, confident, like he already knows how this story ends. "You got this, Y/N."Â Â
The call ends, and the quiet still of your room taunts you. For a moment, you sit there, staring at your phone, the little icon of Jake's contact pictureâa selfie the two of you took together many years agoâstaring back at you like a challenge. Â
Your fingers hover. Your heart races, your palms feel clammy, and your stomach twists. Â
But then you remember Jungwon's words. Â
You deserve this. Â
And so does Jake. Â
You take a deep breath, then you press down on his name. Â
The phone doesn't even reach the second ring before he picks up. Â
"Y/N," Jakeâs voice is rushed, a little breathless. Â
"Hey," you say softly, suddenly unsure where to start. "Um, were you busy?"Â Â
"No, no," he quickly responds. "Not at all. You could call me at 3AM, and I still wouldâve picked up."Â Â
"That's unhealthy, you know," your lips twitch as you lay back in your bed, taking a deep inhale. You missed thisâyou missed him. Â
"For you? Worth it," you can hear the smile in his voice, but along with the slight tension just beneath itâthe faintest tremor that tells you he's been waiting for this call, maybe agonizing over it just as much as you have. Â
You swallow hard, gripping the phone tight, "Jake, about...our last call..."Â Â
"Take your time," he says gently, though you don't miss the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. "I mean it, Y/N. There's no pressure."Â Â
You exhale shakily, closing your eyes, âIâve been thinking a lot, too. About you. AboutâŠus.âÂ
Jake stays silent, but you could hear the faint sound of him shifting, like he was bracing himself.Â
You squeeze your eyes hard, as you let the words finally come out, "I like you too, Jake. A lot. So much, honestly. It's just..."Â Â
"It's just...?" Jake's voice repeats softly, as if that's all he can manage to let out in the midst of his nervousness. Â
You hold your breath, scared of what you're about to admitâto Jake and to yourself.Â
"It's just...I'm scared," your voice comes out barely above a whisper, "I'm scared that this is too good to be true. That you're saying all of this because...I don't knowâyou're trying to move on...from the past, or because you're lonely on tour, orâ"Â
"Y/N,â Jake's voice cuts through firm, but gentle. Â
"You're notâŠa rebound, or a distraction, or anything like that," he starts quietly, each word deliberate. "And this isn't about...Jenn, or me being lonely, or whatever else you think. This is about you." Â
Your breath hitches as you take in his words and open your eyes, hoping that staring at the ceiling above you could somehow ground you. Â
âYouâre the one who makes me laugh when Iâve had the worst day,â Jake continues. âYouâre the one I want to talk to, even when Iâm running on zero sleep. Youâre the one I think about when Iâm on stage and wish I could just look into the crowd and see you there. Itâs you, Y/N."Â Â
His words are overwhelming, too much, and you're unsure how to even process them. Your throat tightens, and you can feel the subconscious tears prickling at the corners of your eyes without even realizing they were forming. Â
"Are you sure, Jake?"Â Â
"More than anything else, Y/N," he says immediately, like the words have been waiting on the tip of his tongue. "And I want to do this right, Y/N. No rushing, no expectations. Just...tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."Â Â
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You can picture him on the other side of the line, sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, his brows probably furrowed in that adorable way they always do whenever he tries to find the right words. Â
You bite your lip, a small laugh escaping despite the tears sliding down your cheeks, âYouâre so cheesy, you know that?âÂ
Jake lets out a small laugh, immediately easing from the tension that hung in the air. Â
"Only for you," he mumbles, his voice soft but steady. Â
You sigh, the sound reaching Jake on the other side. There's a pause, a moment of mutual understanding in silence, just listening to the quiet, peaceful hum of each other's breathing. Â
âJake?â You say finally, your voice trembling.Â
âYeah?âÂ
âI thinkâŠâ You take a deep breath, and you think your heart is about to break out of your chest. âI think I want to try too.âÂ
The silence on the other end was electric, and for a moment, you think maybe the call dropped. Then, you hear the unmistakable sound of Jakeâs laughâsoft, relieved, and filled with so much warmth that it instantly makes your own heart feel lighter.Â
âYou're driving me crazy, Y/N,â he says, his voice almost breathless, but tinged with humor. Â
âYeah?âÂ
âYeah,â he says, a smile clear in his tone. Â
âI hope I am,â you quip, and it makes him chuckle, the sound warm and full of relief. âGuess Iâm stuck with your cheesy lines now huh?âÂ
âStuck with me?â Jake repeats, pretending to sound offended. âNo way. Iâm stuck with you, Y/N. And trust me, Iâm not going anywhere.âÂ
His words are so simple, yet so full of promise, and it leaves you feeling a little breathless.Â
âGood,â you whisper, your cheeks warm. âBecause I donât want you to.âÂ
âHi Jake,â your voice bright as you immediately pick up his call and see his face appear on the screen, his expression softening when he sees you.Â
âHey pretty,â he replies, without missing a beat, his voice laced with a soft fondness that never fails to make your stomach flip.Â
You roll your eyes, failing miserably to hide the blush rising to your cheeks, âOh, so now Iâm pretty, huh?â
Jake smirks at your words, leaning closer to his phone, âNah, youâve always been pretty. Just didnât have the guts to say it to your face before.â Â
You groan, dramatically planting your face into your pillow as an attempt to bury the smile on your face, your voice muffled, âYouâre gonna be the death of me, Jake.â
âStop that, donât hide. Let me see your face,â his tone dips somewhere between playful and pleading, and you give in, lifting your head just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your red cheeks.Â
âCute,â he says with a knowing grin, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.Â
âWhatever,â you murmur, but the smile on your face remains. âHow was your day today?âÂ
âMmm, it was good,â Jake says, running a hand through his messy hair. âBusy, but good. I forget how loud the fans get each time. But itâs nice. Makes it feel worth it, you know?âÂ
âIâm glad,â your smile grows as you watch him speak, feeling nothing but proud of him. âYou deserve all of it, Jake.âÂ
âStop,â now heâs groaning, throwing a hand over his face to cover his shy expression. âYouâre going to make me blush.âÂ
âMm, looks like you already are, Jakey,â you shake your head, laughing softly.Â
âMaybe a little,â he admits as he peeks at you through his fingers, his grin boyish and infectious, and you canât help but laugh again.Â
The call falls quiet for a moment, but itâs not awkwardâjust comfortable, like a shared breath. Jake shifts, turning on his stomach and propping his phone up against some pillows to make sure you can still see him.Â
âI miss you,â he says suddenly, and thereâs something raw in his tone, something unguarded that catches you off guard.Â
Your heart stutters.
âJake, I literally called you this morning,â you tease, your tone light and sweet. But still, you canât resist, âI miss you too.â Â
âYou donât sound convincing enough,â his eyes narrow at you, the pout forming on his lips quickly turning into a small smirk. âSay it like you mean it.âÂ
âFine,â you huff, rolling your eyes. âI miss you so, so much Sim Jaeyun, that itâs physically painful and I might conbust on the spot if I donât see you soon. Happy?âÂ
âVery,â he grins into the camera, making your heart beat faster. Ugh. "But please don't combust for me. Who else am I supposed to call every day?"Â Â
"Oh, please, you'd survive," you shoot back, smirking. "I'm sure anyone else would be more than happy to fill the spot."Â Â
Jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head dramatically. "Nope, no one could keep with you, Y/N. You're a handful."Â Â
"Excuse me?" You scoff, mock offense all over your face. "You're calling me a handful? Jake, who's the one that texts me random song lyrics at 3AM and expects me to interpret their deep meaning like it's poetry?"Â Â
"Okay, first of all, they are deep," he argues, his grin widening into something boyish and utterly unfair. "And second of all, I know you secretly love it."Â Â
You let out a laugh as you roll onto your side, propping your phone against the pillow next to you. Â
"Maybe I do," you admit with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant despite the smile on your face. "Or maybe I don't. That's up to you to find out."Â Â
Jake shakes his head, laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as they linger on your face.Â
"You really are a handful, Y/N," his voice teases while his eyes remain on you through the screen, as if studying you, and it makes your stomach flip. Â
You glance away, suddenly feeling shy again under his unwavering gaze, "Stop looking at me like that."Â Â
"Like what?" His voice is innocent, his eyebrows lifting in feign obliviousness. Â
"I don't knowâlike you're trying to memorize my face or something," you mutter, your cheeks burning. Â
"Maybe I am," his voice dips, low and soft. "Honestly wouldn't complain if that's the last thing I ever got to remember."Â Â
His words hit you square in the chest, and despite how ridiculously corny they are, they manage to take your breath away. You don't know if you'll ever get used to this newly discovered side of Jakeâthe one that speaks so candidly, so sweetlyâlike you're the only person in his universe. Â
But honestly? You love it. You love how he makes you feel, how his words wrap around you perfectly like they were tailor made just for you. But as much as you love it, you fear it too. Â
Because the more you fall into this feeling, the more you wonder if there's anything solid beneath it. Despite all the soft words shared and sweet nothings exchanged, at the end of the day, deep down inside you can't help but ask yourself if his words, if he, is even yours to begin with.Â
"Jake..."Â Â
"Hmm?" His voice is gentle now, the teasing edge in his voice fading. Â
"You really mean it, don't you?" You ask, your voice quieter now, the question laced with your vulnerability. "You're serious about...this? About us?"Â Â
"Of course I am," he answers without hesitation. His soft eyes stay trained on you as he sits up in his spot in bed, as if to show just how serious he is. He lets out an exhale, as if mentally encouraging himself to continue, "I know we're not...whatever this is, officially yet. But I do know that I like what we have."Â Â
He brings his phone closer, a small smile on his face, his expression earnest, "And that I like you. A lot."Â Â
You swallow hard, his words settling in your chest in the best way possible. Because despite everythingâthe doubts, the undefined boundariesâyou can't deny the truth of how you feel. Â
"Me too," you admit, your voice steady and honest. "I like what we have too. And I like you."Â Â
You pause, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you feel the remainders of your walls crumbling down, "You make me happy, Jake. Like annoyingly happy."Â Â
"Good. Because you make me happy too," His smile spreads wide, the kind that is contagious and could light up an entire room. "Annoyingly happy, if we're being specific."Â Â
You roll your eyes again, though you're smiling just as much, "We really are insufferable, aren't we?"Â Â
"Oh, completely," Jake nods, his tone playful. He's more relaxed, back to leaning against his headboard as he looks at you with a softened gaze. "We'll figure it out, Y/N. I promise. Whatever this is, or whatever it becomes, I'm not going anywhere. And honestly? I just can't wait to see you. Finally."Â Â
"Me too," you perk up, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you bring your phone closer, "It feels like it's been forever. This tour feels so much longer than the other ones for some reason."Â Â
"It does," Jake hums in agreement, his eyes thoughtful. "But you know what? I think It's because, this time...I actually have something waiting for me. Somethingâor someoneâI want to come home to. And that makes every day feel so much longer."Â Â
You think, at this point, you should check yourself into the emergency department for the sheer amount of times you thought your heart was going to pound out of your body from Jake's words alone. Â
âYou're ridiculous," you laugh, the sound bubbling out so naturally you couldn't hold it back even if you tried. "It's getting kind of out of hand how cheesy you are, Jake."Â Â
"And yet," he fires back with a smirk, "you love it. Admit it. I've cracked the code."Â Â
"Maybe I do," you tease, repeating your words from earlier as the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile you can't suppress. "But don't let it get to your head."Â Â
"Too late," he grins. "It's already there."Â Â
Jake [2:15AM] : can I call you? Â
Y/N [2:16AM]: jake isnt it like 2AM for you? Â
Jake [2:16AM]: wellâŠyea but I was thinking about you soâŠÂ
Your feet are kicking before you even realize, and before you can type up a response, your phone lights up with Jake's name and contact picture.Â
âHi,â you answer softly, trying not to let the giddy smile growing on your face take over.Â
âHey pretty,â he greets, voice warm and easy as he brings a hand through his messy hair. The lights in his room are off, and the dim glow of his phone screen casts a soft light over his features, making him look unfairly good for someone who should be fast asleep. Â
âYou have two seconds to give me a good reason why youâre here talking to me instead of getting a good nightâs rest before your concert tomorrow,â your eyes narrow in mock disapproval as you give him a knowing look. Â
Jake laughs lightly, âHey! Okay, hear me out. I couldnât sleep, so I did something.â Â
You raise an eyebrow, âYou did something? That sounds ominous, Iâm scared.â Â
âYeah. For you,â he states plainly, leaving you even more confused for a second more before he continues. âI made you a playlist.â Â
Your brain stalls at how simple he says itâso casual, as if not packed with so much meaning. Â
âA playlist? Youâwait, why?â Â
Jake shrugs, âI donât knowâI guess I just wanted you to hear what I hear when I think about you. Which, by the way, is a lot. So..â Â
You blink at the screen, your mouth slightly agape at the boy who's watching you with that lopsided grin that makes it practically impossible to function. You scramble to collect yourself, but the more you try, the worse it gets, and by now, you think he definitely took some secret class on how-to-make-Y/N-completely-flustered. Â
And aced it. Â
And of course, he noticesâbecause Jake always notices. Â
âYou okay there?â His voice breaks you out of your overwhelming thoughts, his teasing tone laced with curiosity. Â
âDefine okay,â you mutter, rubbing a hand over your face in an attempt to cool down the warmth spreading like wildfire across your cheeks. âBecause if it means not feeling like a complete fool over a guy whoâs halfway across the world, then no, Iâm absolutely not okay.â Â
Jake lets out a low laugh, the sound affectionate as he leans closer to the camera, the light reflecting off his shining eyes, âIf it helps, youâre not the only one losing your mind here.â Â
âOh yeah?â you arch an eyebrow, âWhatâs your excuse, Sim?â Â
âMy excuse?â He tilts his head with a small, exaggerated frown, pretending to think. âHmmâŠletâs seeâŠIâm hopelessly into this girl who somehow makes being teased fun, who makes me smile just by hearing my name come out her mouth, and whoââ Â
âOkay! Stop, stop, enough,â your voice strangled as you try to talk through the fit of giggles you couldnât hold down. âYouâre gonna kill me, Jake. Like, actually. Iâm not strong enough for this.â Â
Jake laughs at your flustered reaction, holding up a hand of surrender, âFine, fine. But seriously, look.â Â
You hear the sound of faint typing in the background before your phone buzzes with a text containing a link. Â
âItâs called Songs That Remind Me of Y/N. Creative, right?â Â
You open the link, and your thoughts are dazed at the sight of the endless playlist of songs. Some new to you, some you recognizeâall of them feeling like little pieces of Jake's heart he's handing to you. Â
"I think it's perfect," you murmur softly, scrolling through the titles, the warmth and appreciation for him now feeling almost too overwhelming. Â
"Yeah?" Jake's eyes shine with a mixture of pride and hope as he watches your reaction. Â
"Yeah," you repeat, switching your phone screen back to his face and giving him a genuine smile. "I love it. Thank you, Jake."Â Â
Jake hums in response, the look on his eyes gentle as a beat of comfortable silence falls between you two. Â
"Well, I should probably sleep for real now, but...listen to it when you miss me, okay? Because chances are, I'm probably doing the same."Â Â
You pause, letting the weight of his words settle over youâvulnerable, yet undoubtedly honest. "Deal. I'll listen to it right now, then."Â Â
"Good," his smile grows, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Because I am too. I miss you, too."Â Â
You both linger for a moment, neither wanting to end the call just yet, simply enjoying each other's pure, raw presence. Â
"Sweet dreams, Jake," you finally say, your voice gentle as you slowly let sleep take over.Â
"Only if theyâre about you," he quips, grinning. Â
You roll your eyes, your chest feeling lighter, "Go to bed, Sim."Â Â
"Yes, ma'am," he winks, and with one last fond look, he ends the call, leaving you smiling at your screen like the absolute fool he's turned you into. Â
"I can't believe you're finally coming back tomorrow," you murmur into the phone, your voice soft but buzzing with excitement as you take in the sight of Jake sprawled out on his bed. The dim glow of his phone highlights just enough of his face to remind you how impossibly cute he isâeven with the pillow creases on his cheek. Â
"I know," Jake sighs dramatically, flopping onto his side. His head sinks into the pillow, and you hear a soft fwump as he shifts to find a comfortable spot. "I just wish I wasn't landing so late. If I could, I'd come see you the second I land. Like, bags in hand, running to your door."Â Â
"You'd probably trip and knock yourself out with your carry-on, Jake," you snort but then smile, the imagine of Jake rushing to get to you playing in your head. Â
"First of all, I'm very athletic," Jake raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Second, that's exactly what would happen, but at least I'd be unconscious on your doorstep, which is still closer to you than I've been in months."Â Â
Your heart does a little flip at the sound of the sincerity in his voice as you try to keep your tone casual, "It's okay, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other the next day? If you're free, maybe."Â Â
Jake's face softens in that stupidly adorable way he always does when he knows you're just trying to play it cool. "Free or not, I'll find a way. Nothing's stopping me from seeing you, Y/N. Not jet lag, not my schedule, not even my manager if he tries to barricade me in the building."Â Â
A giggle escapes you, partly at his sheer determination and partly to cover up the butterflies constantly causing the havoc in your stomach when it comes to him. And Jake, of course, looks all smug, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. Typical Jakeâsweet, determined, and impossibly endearing. Â
But as much as his words make your cheeks warm, there's another reason why you're holding back your smile. Â
Because, despite what Jake thinks, you're going to see him much sooner than he expects. All thanks to a message you got earlier from the group's manager:Â Â
Y/N! Hope youâre doing well! We all miss you and canât wait to see you soon! As you know, the boys are returning tomorrow late at night, but the staff and I want to plan a little surprise party at their apartment, they have no idea. The teamâs already prepping everything. Weâd love for you to comeâit wouldnât be the same without you. 10 PM! See you!Â
You're practically vibrating with excitement, each passing minute on the call with Jake making it harder and harder to not just blurt it out and tell him you'll be seeing him in less than 24 hours. And, somehow, hearing his sleepy voice on the other side of the call, completely oblivious, just makes it even harder to contain yourself. Â
Jake's brows furrow as he watches you try (and fail) to suppress your grin, "What's up with you? You're smiling so much, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything that funny."Â Â
"Me?" You blink innocently, even though your heart skips a beat. But you shrug casually, masking your smile with a feigned yawn. "Nothing's up, you've just been acting too cute tonight. That's all."Â Â
"You're lucky you're cute," Jake narrows his eyes at you, but even you can see through the dim lighting the red creeping across his face, "And that I'm tired. Or else I'd call you out for how you're gaslighting me right now."Â Â
"Gaslighting?!" You sputter out, breaking out into laughter. "How am I gaslighting you for calling you cute?"Â Â
"Because I know you're hiding somethingâ" Jake replies, his pout audible in the way his voice drags. He yawns mid-sentence, the soft sound and the image of his eyes fluttering closed making your heart melt. "âand you're using my sleep-deprived state against me. It's not fair."Â Â
"I'm not hiding anything!" You protest, your face one second away from cracking into a guilty smile. "Go to sleepâyou're barely holding it together over there."Â Â
"Like I'd ever fall asleep on you," he mutters, his voice heavy with drowsiness. "You're way too important for that."Â Â
His words hit you like a train, and you have to physically restrain yourself from squealing, burying your face in your pillow before you let out a strangled, "Okay, enough sap for one night, Romeo. Go to bed."Â Â
"Mmhm, fine, fine," Jake hums before he yawns again. "Goodnight, pretty. Dream sweet dreams, okay?"Â Â
You let out a breath, losing the last remaining bits of your composure at this pointâbut in the best way possible, of course. Â
"Goodnight, Jakey. I'll see you soon."Â Â
The day flies by in a whirlwind of anticipation and sheer chaos, the emotional hurricane brewing up inside you rooting from one source and one source only. Â
Because ever since you woke up this morning, every step, every sight, every breath was haunted by one inescapable thought:Â
Jake. Â
The morning was a blur of pacing around your room like a Sims character who was glitching after being told to "Go Here", overthinking every possible scenario for how tonightâwhen you finally see Jake in personâcould go down. Â
Because, reallyâhow exactly do you approach the boy you've been friends with for years, who you've fallen for, in a room filled with people, including yours and his closest friends, all while pretending your heart is trying its hardest to not control, alt, delete itself? Â
Not exactly something you can Google. Â
Like, do you hug him? Does he hug you? What if he doesn't hug you? (Unacceptable, you decide, before pacing faster.)Â Â
By the time afternoon rolls around, you're about 78% sure you've developed three-and-a-half migraines from the sheer pressure of it all. Not to mention, the borderline illegal amount of caffeine coursing through your veins isn't helpingâwhy did you think drinking four cups of coffee was a good idea? (You didn't. Your brain has officially gone rogue.)Â Â
And now, here you are. The buzzing apartment of the boys is alive with the sounds of laughter, the crinkle of party streamers being hung up, and two staff members arguing about where to put the over-dramatically large "WELCOME HOME" banner. You, along with everyone else, await for the signal, passing time by keeping up small conversation with the friends and staff you've gotten to know over the yearsâall the while you desperately try to keep your nerves from causing a mental crash out right here and now. Â
Eventually, one of the staff gets the alert that the group has landed and is minutes away, the energy immediately shifting, both in the apartment and mentally. You settle in place in the back of the crowd, near the door but not too near the doorâbecause 1) you're 99.99% sure you're not emotionally stable enough to be front and center, and 2) the staff and camera crew are already hogging the entrance as if this was the world's greatest comeback (and spoiler alertâto you, it really is.)Â Â
The lights dim, the chatter fades, and the room hums with anticipation. And meanwhile? Your heart won't. Stop. Pounding. Â
Any second now. Â
Your nerves bubble up even more than you thought is humanly healthy, and you're not sure if you're about to a) pass out, b) puke, c) or both.
Simultaneously. Â
The sound of multiple footsteps echoes faintly in the hallway, followed with muffled voicesâone of them the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter. Your breath catches. Â
And then the door swings open. Â
"SURPRISE!" Â
The boys freeze in the doorway, their suitcases still in hand, the looks of genuine, yet pleasant, confusion plastered on all their faces. Sunghoon's eyes dart to the snacks table, Jay looks like he's deciding whether to laugh or roll his eyes, Sunoo is on the verge of tears, and JakeâJake looks beautifully, stupidly confused. Â
Your eyes immediately find Jake's face, like some natural gravitational pull you can't fight, and suddenly it hits you: he's here. In front of you. No blurry video calls, no glitchy Wi-Fi interruptionsâjust Jake. Â
It feels surreal, like you're living in a sugar-induced dream that you aren't sure of is real yet or not. Last time you saw him in person, he was merely just Jake, one of your best friends, your go-to guy for bad jokes and late-night rants about life. But now? Now he's Jakeâthe boy who's somehow become the main character of your life (and brain capacity) over the past five months. Â
Every memory of your late-night calls, every teasing smile, every time his sweet, groggy voice promised he'd prove himself to youâit all comes rushing back. Like those cheesy montage scenes in a rom-com, except instead of a whimsical romantic song playing in the background, it's the sound of your brain, and heart, screaming WHAT NOW Y/N?!Â
But then, finally, his eyes land on you. Â
The moment your eyes meet, you think your lungs give up on life. Breathing? Never heard of it. It's like someone hit the pause button on the entire universe, and you're convinced that the only thing to ever exist is Jake looking at you with that soft, unreadable expression. Â
But you manage half a second of calmâhalf a secondâbefore that softness on his face disappears. Just as quickly as it appeared, it's replaced by...something else. Something you can't quite put your finger on. Something you've never thought could exist on his face. A flicker of...conflict? Hesitation? Like he's staring straight at youâŠbut also from miles away at the same time. Â
His jaw tightens slightlyâso slightly only you would notice with how intently you're looking at himâand for a split second, his hands fidgets at his side before he quickly clasps it over the handle of his suitcase. And right as you process it, right as you're about to convince yourself it's just the million grams of caffeine rushing through your blood that's making you hallucinate and see thingsâÂ
He looks away. Â
He looks away. Â
He looks away. As if you're not even standing there, as if he didn't just short-circuit your entire brain. His attention shifts to the nearest staff member, greeting them with a quick nod, and suddenly he's smiling and laughing at something they're saying like nothing just happened. Â
And just like that, the universe hits the play button again, and you're left standing thereâstaring, blinking, wondering if the last thirty seconds of your life was, indeed, a caffeine-induced hallucination after all. Surely. Right? Â
Because Jake definitely didn't avoid you on purpose. Nope. Because that would be insane. Insane, you think to yourself, as the invisible angel on your shoulder continues to whisper into your ear the same sweet words Jake's been telling you the past five months about how much he cares for you, how much he likes youâremember all those times he said it? Â
Right. Right. Of course, he does. But still, you stand there frozen, trying to ground yourself, even though your hands start fidgeting at your sides anyway. Great. Fantastic. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine.Â
You mentally curse yourself for not being closer to the door after all, and then, you mentally curse every single person in this room for not magically gaining telepathic powers and knowing that you, personally, were trying to have a moment. Â
It's fine. You'll find him again. He's just too preoccupied with all the staff members and people to greet. Busy Jake. Social Jake. You're just imagining things. Definitely. Â
Trying to distract yourself, you glance around the apartment, everything suddenly feeling suffocating. Maybe a snack. Maybe a drink. Maybe a portal to another dimension.Â
Shaking your head out of your spiraling thoughts, you bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself and turn away from the crowd, quickly settling yourself near the beverage table, pouring yourself a cup of...whatever this isâyour mind too cloudy to even bother looking at the sign on the table.
You don't know how much time passes, and frankly, you don't even know if you're fully conscious. Your mind is still living in the past, lingering in that moment where you locked eyes with Jake for the first time in five months, and despite all the overthinking you did this morning of all the possible scenarios that could happenâthis was not one of them. Â
You're about to pour yourself a second drink just to keep your thoughts busy when you feel a tap on your shoulder. Â
"Y/N!"Â Â
Before you can fully turn around, you're engulfed in a warm hug, the familiar scent of Jungwon's cologne immediately grounding you, "Oh god, I missed you. Took me forever to find you with all these people."Â Â
"Jungwon!" You exclaim, a genuine smile lighting up your face despite the emotional tug-of-war in your chest, because, of course, leave it to your best friend to immediately ease your inner panic. You squeeze him back, playfully ruffling his hair as you pull away, "I can't believe they made you grow out your hair. Now you actually look older than me for once."Â Â
He stares at you, blinking. "Y/N. I am older than you."Â Â
"Literally by a week. We all know I'm mentally older," you deadpan, crossing your arms. Â
"Okay, I take it back. I didn't miss you after all," he scoffs as you laugh, pulling him into another hug for good measure just to annoy him. Â
"I'm so glad you guys are back," you say as Jungwon grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip himself as he listens to you. "I was dying of boredom without you guys."Â Â
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Definitely didn't sound like boredom all those nights you called Jake at 2AM."Â Â
You freeze. Oh. Great. The one topic you were trying to avoid (how you were going to avoid itâgiven you're at his literal apartment, with his literal group members, and literal staff members that all work for himâyou're not sure. Avoidance was a doomed plan from the start, I fear). Â
But before you could answer, Jungwon continues, "So...are you guys, like, a thing now? I know you guys were just talking this whole time, but now that we're back, are you guys gonna be in a relationship and all that stuff? Because if so, I need a heads-up. As much I love you both, I don't know if I can stand you two being all couple-y right in front of meâoh, and alsoâ"Â Â
"Jungwon."Â
"âif he hurts you in any way, I swear to god I will not hesitate toâ"Â Â
"Jungwon!"Â Â
He stops, wide-eyed, before flashing you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But seriously, what's happening? You haven't given me any updates!"Â Â Â
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. Because if he had asked you yesterdayâor even an hour agoâyou would've been able to answer confidently. But now? After Jake's apparent Olympic-level avoidance of you? You're not so sure anymore. Â
"I...I don't know," you mumble, the words barely audible. Jungwon tilts his head, leaning closer to catch them. Â
"What do you mean, you don't know? You guys haven't talked about it?" His brows furrowing as he studies your face, clearly picking up on your hesitation in true best friend fashion. Â
"I, uh, I haven't...seen him yet," you admit, hoping the crack in your voice doesn't reveal the real reason you haven't approached the boy in question. "Everyone's busy, and I didn't want to get in the way."Â Â
Jungwon gives you a look like you just said the earth is flat. Â
"Get in the way? Y/N, you're insane. This is the guy who's been counting down the days to see you. If anything, everyone else is in his way."Â Â
You give him a helpless shrug, but Jungwon isn't having it. He grabs your shoulders and spins you around, pointing across the room to one of the other snack tables past the crowds of people.
"Look. He's right there. Alone. Perfectly free to talk to you. Go."Â Â
Your eyes land on Jake, back facing you and Jungwon, casually scooping chips into a bowl. You hesitate, scanning his relaxed posture, and the knot in your stomach tightens. Because that's exactly the problem. He's perfectly free. And if he's so excited to see you, how come he hasn't spoken to you yet? Â
But before you can voice your doubts, Jungwon gives you a not-so-gentle nudge forward, "Go talk to him before I carry you over there myself."Â Â
And next thing you know, Jake's right there. In front of you. His back is to you still, his eyes scanning the various snacks lined on the table, completely unaware of the full-on mental breakdown occurring just behind him. Â
This is your moment, you tell yourself, despite the endless alarms going off in your brain. Every single nerve in your body is on high alert, screaming at you to abort mission, abort! But before you can give in to your panic, your hand is already reaching out, lightly tapping his shoulder. Â
"Jake!"Â Â
Jake turns around, and for a momentâa fleeting, fragile momentâyou catch it. The way his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. The way his lips part as if they're about to break into that familiar smile you've missed for months. But just as quickly, similar to earlier, it vanishes, replaced by that flicker of hesitation, and it's enough to make your breath catch. Â
"Y/N."Â Â
Your name on his lips used to sound like a warm promise. Now?
Now it feels like an afterthought.Â
His voice is calm, steadyâtoo steady, stripped of every ounce of emotion, and not at all like someone who's been counting down the days to see you. He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering to the crowd behind you before reluctantly meeting yours, "It's been so long."Â Â
Your stomach sinks. That's all he had to say? You were completely wrong. You spent precisely 23 minutes of your morning debating if he was even going to give you a hugâbut now? Screw the hug, he won't even give you a full sentence. Something's off, and your mind races to figure out what happened, as if you missed a major chapter of your own life. Â
Trying to ignore the sharp pang of something lodging itself in your chest, you offer a small smile, hoping to break the tension. Â
"Are you...okay? I thought...I don't know, I thought you'd be more excited to see me," the words spill out before you can stop them, and you want to crawl into a self-dug hole from how raw and vulnerable you feel. Â
Jake shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the floor, then at you, "No, yeah, of course I am. I'm just...really tired. The flight, you know. And all this," he pauses to gesture at the environment around you two, "it's a lot."Â Â
You stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to crackâsilently begging for some sign of the Jake you thought you knew. But all you get is a shrug. Â
A shrug. Â
Suddenly, his words feel like a punch to the gut, let alone the way he can't even fully look you in the eyes. In just those few seconds, the invisible angel on your shoulderâwhose voice sounded just like Jake'sâwhispering those promises into your ears suddenly disappeared with no trace in sight, as if it was never thereâas if it was never yoursâin the first place. Every late-night call, every whispered promise, every shared laugh.Â
As if they never belonged to you. Â
You swallow hard, trying to keep the growing lump in your throat from choking you, hoping your emotional turmoil isn't blatantly obvious to the boy in front of you. Â
"Right," you murmur, nodding as if his excuse makes perfect sense. But it doesn't. "That's...understandable."Â Â
The silence that follows is suffocating. Not the comfortable kind of warm silence you two used to share, but the awkward, unbearable kind that makes you claw at your own skin and makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right then and there. Â
Jake shifts again, and for a moment, his eyes meet yours. There's something thereâbut before you can grasp it, a voice from the crowd calls his name. Â
"IâI should go," he mutters quickly, stepping back. His voice is quiet, his tone almost apologetic, but his words feel like he's hammering the nails to your coffin. "I'll...see you later though, yeah?"Â Â
He doesn't wait for an answer. He's gone before you can say anything, before you can process his words, and for the second time that night, he leaves you standing there with your heart in pieces and your thoughts in chaos. Â
For a moment, you swear you're paralyzed. You can't move. Can't breathe. Your vision blurs as every doubt you'd buried for months comes rushing back, screaming in your face louder and crueler than ever. You've never felt smaller, more foolish. Â
Your heart beats erratically now, fighting against the realization of the truth settling in your chestâa heaviness so suffocating it threatens to take you under. The Jake who stood in front of you just nowâguarded, distant, a strangerâwas so unlike the boy who had made you laugh until your sides ached, who'd stayed up with you on countless late nights, sharing secrets no one else knew. Â
The Jake who made promises. Â
Your mind spirals. Maybe...maybe those promises were never meant to be kept. Maybe they were just words to fill the time. Â
Maybe you were just someone to fill the time. Â
Your breath starts to pick up and you're frantically scanning the room, desperate for an escape from your thoughts through any familiar face. Your eyes finally land on Ni-ki and Heeseung casually sitting on one of the couches, their carefree laughter a stark contrast to your inner implosion. You beeline to them, forcing a smile on your face as you plop down beside them. Â
"Y/N!" Ni-ki grins the moment he spots you, scooting over to make room. "Where've you been hiding? Thought you ditched us for good."Â Â
"I've been here,â you give the boys a small smile, praying they don't notice the way your hands tremble as you sit down, âjust...mingling."Â Â
Heeseung raises an eyebrow at the faint crack in your voice, but doesn't push further, "Well, we all missed you. Pizza pig-out sesh and games tomorrow? You can tell us everything we've been missing out on."Â Â
You laugh, trying to keep the conversation light, but it comes out shaky, your voice tight under the weight of your hidden emotions, "I think it's you guys who need to catch me up."Â Â
Ni-ki tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you, "Are you okay? You look...off. Whatâdid someone spill punch on you? Lemme guess, was it Jake?"Â Â
At his name, the knife in your stomach twists even deeper, and you look away, hoping they don't notice the way your face falls. Â
But Heeseung notices. Of course. His gaze sharpens, the playful teasing in his expression replaced with a softened concern, "Y/N...what's going on?"Â Â
"I'm fine," you reply a little too quickly, your voice a little too high. You plaster a smile on your face, turning back towards the two boys, concern written all over their faces. "Just tired. Long day."Â Â
Neither of them look convinced, but before Heeseung can say anything else, Ni-ki nudges him and gestures towards something across the room. Â
"Hey...isn't thatâ"Â Â
You follow Ni-ki's gaze, and you immediately wish you didn't.Â
Because just like that, your world crumbles. Â
There she isâJenn. Â
You're not even wondering when she got here, how she got here, or even why she's here in the first place. No, not even. Â
Because all that's occupying your mind right now is the way she's there, perched comfortably on Jake's lap on one of the couches in the distance, her arm draped casually over his shoulder. Â
The way she's laughing freely at something he says, her hand lightly brushing against his as if it's second nature, her fingers briefly pushing a strand of hair away from his face. Â
The way Jake doesn't even flinch, the way he doesn't pull away. Â
The way he smiles at her. Â
That same smileâthe one you've spent weeks convincing yourself was yoursânow feels like a cruel joke. Â
And that does it. For the first time that night, despite all you endured, you shatter. Â
You force yourself to look away, but it's too late. Your chest hollows out deeper and deeper with every passing second, until all you're left with is a final realization:Â Â
Maybe you never really had him at all. He was never yours in the first place. Â
Ni-ki and Heeseung exchange glances before looking at the expression on your faceâall the color drained, as if you were merely just a body, paralyzed. Both of them open their mouths, but nothing comes out, clearly unsure of what to say, but you don't give them the chance. You're already standing, grabbing your bag at your side with trembling hands. Â
"Y/N, waitâ" Heeseung starts as both him and Ni-ki stand up with you, but you shake your head, his voice distant and muffled as if he's speaking to you underwater. Â
"I need some air," you mumble, but you're sure neither of them hear you, your voice barely above a whisper. Â
Before they can stop you, you're already weaving through the crowd, your vision blurring as you fight the overwhelming urge to break down. You stop at the door, your eyes quickly scanning the cluttered floor for your shoes. For a moment, you think you've made itâescaped the suffocating air and heartbreak clawing at your throatâbut a mistake you didn't mean to make stills you. Â
You glance over your shoulder, and there he is. Â
Jake's eyes meet yours, and the world comes to a stop. His easy smile slips from his face and is immediately replaced by a flicker of panic, his brows drawing together as if he's just realized something, but you don't stick around to analyze it. Â
Not when your heart is already in pieces on the floor. Â
You quickly look the opposite way, fighting the sting of burning tears threatening to spill over as your fingers fumble desperately with the zipper of your coat when you hear a concerned voice from behind you. Â
"Y/N?" Jungwon's familiar voice cuts through your haze, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. "Whatâwhere are you going?"Â Â
"Home," you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you finally manage to get your coat on, turning towards the door. Â
Suddenly, Jungwon steps in front of you, a firm frown on his face, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to meâ"Â Â
"Jungwon, I need to go," you look up at him as your voice cracks for the nth time that night, feeling Jake's set of eyes on you still, "Please, Won."Â Â
He hesitates, clearly confused but more worried over anything else, "Okay, but I'm driving you."Â Â
You sigh, shaking your head, "No, it's fineâ"Â Â
"I'm driving you," Jungwon repeats, leaving no room for argument as he's already grabbing his coat and walking out the door. Â
Not bothering to look behind you to see if Jake's still watching, you follow Jungwon out to the hallway, the chill of the air feeling like a fresh wave of emotions crashing over you all at once: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak. Â
You're too caught up in your spinning thoughts to even notice the sound of frantic footsteps behind you until a voice cuts through the silence. Â
"Y/N."Â Â
His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago. Â
But still, you hear it anywayâbecause of course you do. Because it's him. And no matter how much you wish you didn't, you'd silence the entire world just to hear that voice. Â
And you hate it. Â
You hate how your entire body freezes mid-step, you hate how every nerve within you comes alive at the sound of his voice, you hate how your heart stumbles, as if trying to root itself in the pain you've been trying so hard to outrun. Â
You turn around slowly, against every ounce of logic telling you to keep walking. And when your eyes land on himâon the raw, desperate, almost broken look on his faceâyou hate yourself even more. Â
Because even now, even after everything, your heart still sinks at the sight. And you hate how you give him the power to break you with just one look. Â
âCan we talk?â Jake asks, his voice low and unsteady as he takes a small step towards you. Â
From beside you, Jungwon hesitates, his gaze flickering between you and Jake. After a beat, he nods, "I'll get the car. Wait here."Â Â
He spares Jake a final look of warning before nudging you for comfort and stepping into the elevator. Â
The elevator doors close, leaving you and Jake alone in the hallway, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions. Â
You swallow hard, your throat tight, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"Â Â
You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter.Â
He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair. Â
âIâI messed up tonight. I didnât mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation, his heart breaking at the way your tears are a second away from falling over.Â
"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed. Â
"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."Â Â
âWell it definitely didn't feel that way,â your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt finally bubbling to the surface. âAfter everything you saidâpromised, everything we talked aboutâŠâÂ
"I know, I justâ" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll break if he gets too close. "I was nervous."Â
"Itâs been so long, and I didnât know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it rightâto make it perfectâbut instead, I justâ" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest.Â
You let out a hollow laugh, the bitter sound foreign even to your own ears, âWell, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.âÂ
âPlease,â he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. âY/N, please donât think I donât care about you. I do. More than you know. I justâI don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."Â Â
"Then why was...," you look at him, your eyes still stinging from all the unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, â...why was she all over you tonight? Why didnât you stop her?âÂ
He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, âIt wasnât what it looked like. I didnâtâI couldnâtââÂ
âYou couldnât,â you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting him deeper. âI should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"Â Â
Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at youâeyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right wordsâconfirms everything you were afraid of.Â
You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lipsâa sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts youâve tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you like waves, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear youâve ever had about this moment. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true.Â
"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."Â Â
"No, noâY/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And itâs you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I saidâI meant it."Â Â
His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see the way your tears finally spill over. Â
"You promised," you let out softly and slowly, through your sniffles. âYou promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you...you hurt me anyways."Â Â
"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate as he shakes his head. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing against yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one."Â Â
You shake your head again, the tears now freely rushing down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "IâI don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I want to, I really, really do. But tonight..."Â Â
Jakeâs face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes turning glassy themselves. The sight of youâbroken, because of himâcuts deeper than he thought was humanly ever possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, âY/N, Iâm so sorry. IâGod, please. Please give me a chance.âÂ
You look at himâat the boy who became your safe space these past few monthsâand all you feel is the ache in your heart. Â
"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out through your broken voice as you take a step back. "I think I just need space."Â Â
The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in the face, "Y/N..."Â
Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stayâto give him the chance he's yearning for. But your brain knows better.Â
"I have to go," you murmur softly, as you take a final step back, turning away before more tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look backâto let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged. Â
Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he lets you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say somethingâanythingâbut the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes. Â
To Jake, the sounds of the party are now far in the distance, drowned out by the pounding in this ears. Instead, the hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating stepsâa cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away. Â
The car ride starts in complete silence, the only sound between you and Jungwon the soft hum of his engine and the faint sound of whatever playlist he was playing in the background. You stare out the window, watching the city lights blur together, your coat clutched tightly under your grasp as if it's the only thing keeping you sane. Â
Jungwon glances at you out the corner of his eye, his hands steady on the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything at first, but you know him well enough to sense the storm brewing in his head. Â
"Okay," he finally says, as if on cue, breaking the silence. "Spill."Â Â
You don't respond, your eyes still fixed on the surrounding city breezing by you, as if the passing view could somehow erase the memory of him. Your fingers dig further into the fabric of your coat, your knuckles going numb. Â
Jungwon gives you a few more moments of silence, but when you don't make any sign of responding, he speaks up again.Â
"Y/N," his voice softens, but the edge of his concern cuts through. "Don't do that thing where you shut people out. Especially me, you know I hate that."Â Â
"I'm notâ" you start, but your voice wavers, and the lie dies on the tip of your tongue. Â
âYou are," he exhales sharply from beside you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything, but don't pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."Â Â
The words sit heavy in the air as you swallow hard, your throat burning as you finally whisper, "It's stupid, Jungwon."Â Â
He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but his tone is firm, "I'm sure if it's got you looking like this, it's not stupid."Â Â
You want to argue, to tell him to just let it go, but the hurt pressing down on your chest is too much. The ache in your body threatens to take over again, and you hate it. You hate how the tears form again, how you can still see Jake looking at you like that, like you were breaking right in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it. Â
Jungwon waits. He doesn't push, because he knows you. He knows you're just hurting, struggling to grasp your overwhelming emotions, so he gives you the time you need. But his quiet patience is unbearable, like he's peeling back every layer of your resolve just by being there, and eventually, you give in. Â
"It's Jake," you finally choke out, the name tumbling from your lips like a curse. Â
Jungwon doesn't respond immediately, but you can feel the shift in his demeanor. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex against the wheel, "I figured as much honestly, after what I saw in the hallway, but what exactly happened, Y/N?"Â Â
You shake your head, your voice shaky, "It doesn't matter. IâI just feel so stupid, Won. Like, how could I think..."Â
You trail off, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Jungwon gives you a softened glance, signaling you to continue whenever you're ready to. Â
You take a deep breath before you speak up again, "How could I ever think I was good enough for him, you know?"Â Â
There's a silence that follows after your words and you hear Jungwon take in a deep inhale. Â
"This isn't on you, Y/N. This has nothing to do with whether you're enough or not," Jungwon's voice is steady, but there's a firm edge to it now. "Look, I don't want to overstep or anything...and I definitely don't want to vouch for himâespecially right now but...are you sure he's not just freaking out?"Â Â
You tilt your head over at the boy next to you, "Freaking out about what?"Â Â
"You," Jungwon says simply like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Â
"That doesn't make any sense," you start shaking your head. "Why would heâ"Â Â
"Because you're you," Jungwon interrupts, his tone matter-of-fact as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him. "And Jake's a complete idiot, but even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."Â Â
You blink, Jungwon's words sinking into all the cracks formed within you, "You really think he cares about me that much?"Â Â
âAre you kidding?â Jungwon scoffs, his expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. âY/N, the guy looks at you like you hung his moon and stars. Trust me, Iâve seen it.âÂ
And you don't know what comes over you, but Jungwon's words hit you like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, the tears you've been holding back come rushing forward, hot and relentless. You cover your face with your hands, your body shaking as the sobs you've been swallowing all night finally make their way out. Â
Jungwon quickly looks over at you and, without hesitation, glances over his shoulder to pull over to the side of the road, the soft clicking of the hazard lights mixing in with your cries. When he finally puts the car in park, he doesn't say anything and just leans back in his seat, his hand resting lightly on your shoulderâclose enough to remind you he's there, but not too much to smother you. Â
"I'm sorry," you manage to gasp out between sobs, your hands going up to wipe your face as all the overwhelming emotions finally take over you. Â
"Don't," Jungwon says firmly, "Don't apologize for feeling like this."Â Â
You take a shaky breath, trying to pull yourself together as your sobs eventually start to slow down, "I just don't understand. If he cares so much, why does this hurt so bad?" Â
"I don't think it's about how much he cares," Jungwon sighs, as if carrying your pain alongside you. "Sometimes...sometimes people care so much that they don't know what to do with it. They panic. They overthink. And they mess up in the worst ways because they don't know how to handle what they're feeling."Â Â
You look up at him, your face still wet with tears, "So you're saying it's an excuse."Â Â
"No," Jungwon replies, quickly shaking his head fervently. "Definitely not an excuse. Jake screwed up, Y/N. Big time. And it's 100% on him to fix that, not you. Butâ"Â Â
He pauses and thinks for a second, his words deliberate, "âit doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Or that he doesn't care about you."Â Â
You look away, glancing down at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the hem of your coat as you take in Jungwon's words. Â
"It's just feels like...like I'm the only one who got hurt here, Won. Like I'm the only one who..," you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but leave it up to Jungwon to always fully understand you. Â
"You're not the only one," he says softly. "He's hurting too, Y/N. Maybe not in the same way, and maybe he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but I can see it. I've seen it. Jake...Jake isn't Jake without you. And honestly? That idiot is probably tearing himself apart right now."Â Â
Your lips part, but the words don't find you. Instead, you let the weight of Jungwon's words sink in, unsure what to do with how true they may be. Â
"You don't have to forgive him right now," Jungwon adds after a moment. "Hell, you don't even have to forgive him at all. Honestly, that might satisfy me just a bit. But maybe...maybe you owe it to yourself to hear him out. Not for him, but for you."Â Â
You turn to Jungwon, your lips forming into the smallest pout, "But what if it just makes everything worse?"Â Â
He gives you a faint, grounding smile, equal parts reassuring and honest. Â
"Then you walk away knowing you did everything you couldâfor yourself. And if it does come to that," he shrugs lightly, "we'll figure it out together."Â Â
You're quiet for a long moment, the thought of walking away from Jake and everything he means to you terrifying youâŠbut you know Jungwon's right. You owe yourself the chance to tryâeven if the unknown outcome fails you. Â
With a shaky breath, you nod, brushing away the last of your tears, "Thanks, Jungwon."Â Â
"You're welcome," Jungwon hums in acknowledgement before his lips curve into a small grin, the atmosphere lightening slightly, "but, uh, could you at least use the tissues in the glove compartment before my seats turn into a snot rag?"Â Â
You manage to let out a small scoff of disbelief as you roll your watery eyes, "You're the worst."Â Â
"Nah," Jungwon replies with a cheeky grin as he shifts the car back into drive, but not before he reaches over to ruffle your hair playfully. "C'mon. Let's get you home."Â Â
The knocking at Jungwonâs door comes at the worst possible moment.Â
Heâs halfway through organizing his deskâsomething he only attempts when heâs too frustrated to sit stillâand the last thing he expects to see when he swings the door open is Jake, standing there looking like he hasnât slept a millisecond all night.Â
Jungwon makes no sign of saying anything or making a move, just staring at the older boy in question. Jakes shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his messy hair, not used to seeing Jungwon in this sour, expressionless mood. Â
"Hey," Jake finally says, his voice hesitant. Â
âWhat do you want?â Jungwon deadpans, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He knows he sounds harsh, but, frankly, he doesnât care. Â
Jake falters for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground, "I...I need your help."Â Â
Jungwon's eyes narrow, "With what, exactly?"Â Â
He knows what, but he's not letting Jake off that easily. Not after last night. Â
"With Y/N," your name hangs in the air between them as Jake's voice cracks, and Jungwon clenches his jaw before he lets out a frustrated sigh. Â
"I don't think you're in any position to be asking me for help right now."Â Â
"I know," Jake says quickly, his hands raising in surrender. "I know, okay? I screwed up big time. IâGod, I don't even know where to start, Jungwon. I just...I don't want to make things worse."Â Â
Jungwon lets out a bitter, humorless laugh, stepping back and motioning his head to let Jake enter his room, "You've already got a good head start on that, I see."Â Â
Jake steps inside, awkwardly hovering near the door as Jungwon moves to sit on the edge of his own bed. He doesn't offer Jake a seat, and Jake doesn't ask for one. Â
"She cried, you know," Jungwon says after a few moments of silence, his voice stone cold. "I had to pull over because she couldn't even hold it together long enough for me to get her home. I've known her my entire life, and I don't think I've ever seen her cry that hard, Jake."Â Â
Jake flinches, the words physically hurting him, "I didn't mean toâ"Â Â
"Yeah, I know," the younger boy cuts him off, his voice sharp, his anger rising on behalf of you. "You didn't mean to hurt her. But you did. And now you're asking me to help you fix it like it's that easy."Â Â
"It's not easy," Jake mutters quietly, his hands fumbling with the edge of his hoodie. "Nothing about this...none of it is easy. But I know I messed up, and IâI can't just leave things like this, I can't lose her, Jungwon. I care about her too much."Â Â
Jungwon deadpans at his friend, fighting back the urge to scoff in his face, "If you cared about her, you wouldn't have let her walk out of that party looking like her entire world was falling apart."Â Â
Jake looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with something Jungwon can't quite name...desperation, maybe. Or guilt. Or both. Â
"I didn't know what to do," Jake finally admits, his voice still barely above a whisper, as if admitting to himself for the first time, too. "I saw her, and she looked so...broken. And IâI panicked, I didn't know what to do, and by the time I realized, she was gone."Â Â
Jungwon leans back, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. The anger bubbling within him hasn't fully faded, but he knows there's something else nowâsomething softer, something that makes it harder to keep his protective guard for you up. Â
Because he knows Jake isn't lying. Â
"You don't get to half-ass this, Jake," Jungwon finally says after he thinks to himself. "She's not some random girl you're trying to impress, she isn't Jenn. This is Y/N. If you want to fix things, you have to be ready to own up to everything. No excuses, no backing out. She deserves that much."Â Â
Jake nods quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful at Jungwon's slight change in demeanor, âI will. I swear, I will.âÂ
"And don't think she's going to forgive you right away," Jungwon adds. "She's hurt. You have to give her time. This isn't about what you wantâit's about what she needs."Â Â
Jake swallows hard, nodding again, âI just want to talk to her. To explain. To tell her Iâm sorry andââ Â
His voice cracks, and he looks down, his hands trembling slightly. Jungwon lets out a sigh, his mixed feelings turning more into something closer to pity. Because as much as he wants to stay mad for your sake, he's known Jake long enough to know that he's a good guyâand that his heart is in the right place. Â
But even more than that, he knows you. And he knows how much Jake means to you, even if you won't admit it, especially not now more than ever. Â
"You're actually an idiot," Jungwon says after a few beats, his voice carrying a lighter tone now. "But for some godforsaken reason, knowing her, I think she might actually miss you."Â Â
Jake looks up from his hands, his eyes searching Jungwon's face for any flicker of doubt, "You really think so?"Â Â
Jungwon shrugs, standing up and moving towards his door, "I think you've got a lot of work to do if you want to earn her trust back. But...I think you still have a chance."Â Â
Jake doesn't say anything as he follows Jungwon to the door, but the look on his face says enoughâthere's a new slight look of hope. It's small, but he's clutching onto it like itâs his lifeline. Â
âYou know," Jungwon says when he reaches the doorway. "Y/Nâs not the type to let people in easily. She puts up wallsâbut with youâŠshe let them down. Youâre special to her, Jake, even if she doesnât say it. Donât throw that away. For her sake, and yours.âÂ
Jungwon nods at the older boy before giving him a faint smile, "And just so you know, I defended you yesterday. So don't prove me wrong or I'm actually going to deck you."Â Â
Jake lets out a weak laugh as he hangs outside Jungwon's door, "Noted. I promise I won't let her down again."Â Â
Jungwon doesnât respond, just closes the door with a soft click, and hopesâfor all their sakesâthat Jake means it. Â
Jake [5:12PM]: hi Y/NÂ Â
Jake [5:12PM]: i know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now. and i donât blame you at all Â
Jake [5:13PM]: but i cant just stay silent and let this sit between us, and i value you too much to not respect you needing space
and just show up at your doorÂ
Jake [5:14PM]: even though itâs killing me to stay awayÂ
Jake [5:14PM]: after you left the party last night, i went back inside. i told jenn that whatever we had in the past is exactly that, the past. and i swear to you, Y/N, thereâs nothing between us. there hasnât been for a long time. and itâs my fault for making it seem otherwise. Â
Jake [5:15PM]: and as for how i actedâŠi donât even know where to start. i fucked up extremely. nothing will excuse my actions and i donât expect you to forgive me. but i need to apologize properly, you deserve that much. Â
Jake [5:17PM]: please let me see you, Y/N. i donât deserve it, and i donât deserve you. but you mean everything to me, and i hate that i hurt you. and i promise, if you let me, iâll do everything to make it up to you. Â
You stare at the phone in your hand, the messages feeling like salt to an open wound. The words on the screen begin to blur together as tears prick your eyes, spilling over before you even realize it. You don't bother wiping them awayâthe sting in your chest too raw, too heavy. Each word feels like Jake is standing right there in front of you, his voice soft and broken, tangled with regret. Â
You tell yourself to stop reading. You've already gone through the same messages at least a hundred times in the past ten minutes, overanalyzing each syllable as if they hold the answers to all of your questions. Â
And yet, you can't stop. Â
You want to be angry. You are angry. Or, at least, you think. Because beneath the flame of your anger that's already threatening to die out? There's an ache you can't ignoreâa small, stubborn part of you that refuses to let go to the sincerity in his words, clinging onto the hope that he's telling you the truth. Â
You mean everything to me, and I hate that I hurt you. I promise, if you let me, I'll do everything to make it up to you. Â
The ache twists harder, curling into doubt. What if he means it? What if he's telling the truth? Â
But of course, the fear rises just as quickly. Because what if he's not? What if you let him back in, and it all falls apart again? What if you let yourself believe in him, giving him the second chance he's asking for, only to have your heart shattered worse than before? Â
And then, there's Jungwon's voice, soft but steady, cutting through the chaos brewing in your mind: "Even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you." Â
Your breath catches. Â
Because that's the worst part. Knowing that maybeâjust maybeâJake really does care. Knowing that maybe he's telling the truthâand you're the one too afraid to take the risk, ready to build up the walls Jake's managed to get through. Â
Your phone screen suddenly dims, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You blink rapidly, wiping at your face, your mind a mess of emotions you can't untangle or describe. Â
Fear. Hope. Doubt.Â
And something elseâsomething you're afraid to admit, but you know is unmistakably real. Â
And it's stronger than the fear churning in your chestâit's something that's pulling you forward. Â
Your heart pounds almost out of your rib cage as you let out a shaky breath, the weight on your shoulders pressing harder and harder with every second you hesitate. The ache doesn't let up, but neither does your hope. Â
So you stop thinking altogether, letting your heart take control instead. Â
You shut your eyes, as if bracing yourself for a crash, take a deep breath, unlock your phone, and let your fingers fly across the screen, each word feeling like a leap off a cliff. Â
You hit send. Â
Y/N [5:30PM]: hi jakeÂ
Y/N [5:30PM]: you can come overÂ
The soft knock at your door startles you, even though you know itâs coming. Â
âY/N?âÂ
His voice. Jakeâs voice. Â
Your heart clenches painfully, a conflicting mix of longing and hurt washing over you all at once. It hasn't even been a full day since the party, but the weight of his absence has already hollowed you out, leaving a hole you can't ignore. You know he's the one who caused itâthat the cracks in your heart are his doingâbut at the same time, the stubborn part of you whispers that he's also the only one who can mend them. Â
You make your way to the door, your movements hesitant as you crack it open, peek out, and...there he is. Â
"Hi," Jake says softly. Â
He's a mess. A beautiful, saddened messâhis hair messy, like he's been running his hands through it all day, his eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that isn't just physical. One hand is buried deep in his jacket, and in the otherâÂ
"Flowers?" You ask, raising a brow in surprise. Â
Jake's ears turn red. "Yeah. Uh, I didn't know if you had a favorite, so I gotâ"Â Â
You open the door wider, revealing the full bouquetâdaisies, tulips, roses, all wrapped together in crinkled tissue paper. Â
"âa little bit of everything," he finishes awkwardly, his voice trailing off, pausing for a second before holding them out to you with a sheepish smile. Â
Your lips twitch subconsciously, despite everything. Â
"Jake, you're literally allergic."Â Â
His mouth opens, then closes, the redness from his ears now spreading to his cheeks. Â
"Well, yeah, butâ," Jake mumbles, shifting on his feet. "ânot, like, deadly or anything dramatic like that."Â Â
He pauses, his voice dropping into something softer, more vulnerable, "I just wanted you to have them. That's all."Â Â
You feel your insides tighten, the sincerity in his voice getting to you. For a moment, all you can manage to do is stare at himâat the way his eyes are silently pleading, wide and unsure. Â
You hesitate for a second, then step back and open the door wider. Â
"Thank you," you say quietly, your fingers brushing against his as you take the bouquet, sending a flicker of warmth through you. "Come in."Â Â
Jake hesitates, his eyes searching yours like he's not sure if he's actually allowed to. When you turn away and walk towards your kitchen, he finally steps inside, kicking off his shoes quickly and hovering by the door like he doesn't know what to expect next. Â
You set the flowers down on the counter, adjusting them carefully before turning back to him. He's still standing there, stiff and uncertain, the distance between you feeling larger than ever before. Â
"So..." You say, crossing your arms tightly across yourself, shifting your weight as a way to ground yourselfâthough the lump in your throat makes it feel impossible. Â
Jake exhales shakily, his hands fidgeting by his sides and gaze darting to the floor before finally landing on you, "I came to apologize. Properly."Â Â
You blink at him, expression unreadable, "You already said sorry."Â Â
Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprising even yourself, but the words leave before you can stop them. Jake flinches, just slightly, but he nods, knowing he deserved that.Â
"Not like I should have," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and careful, like he's afraid you'll run out of your own apartment. "I know I messed up. I hurt you, and I hate that I did. I hate that I made you feel like you weren't enough or that someone else could ever compare to you, Y/N."Â Â
Your arms tighten around yourself as if the words might knock the breath out of you as look away, unsure if you can meet the rawness in his eyes. Â
"Last night," Jake continues, his eyes filling with guilt, "I didn't handle last night right. And not just how I handled Jenn, but I let my own insecurities and stupid fears of being perfect for you get in the way. I let it happen and mess everything up. I let you think that you didn't matter to me, and I will never forgive myself, Y/N."Â Â
His words hang in the air, heavy yet sincere, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him as you process his words slowly. Â
"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, Y/N," Jake's voice wavers before he continues, "but I need you to know that I'm so, so sorry. No excuses. For all of itâfor making you feel like anything less than everything, for making you feel like you weren't my first choice. Because you are. You're my only, Y/N."Â
His words hit you with a force that crashes over the walls you tried so desperately to build. They're overwhelming yet tender, like rediscovering a piece of yourself you hadn't even realized you lost. And you want to let them comfort you, you do. But the pain from last night lingers deep down, reminding you of why you built those walls in the first place. Â
For a moment, the silence stretches on longer than you intend, the weight of his words settling in the air between you. Jake doesn't look away thoughâhis gaze unwavering, vulnerable, and raw. Â
As though he's laid himself bare before you, giving you the power to either accept or shatter him completely. Â
When you finally find your voice, it trembles despite your best efforts, "Jake...I don't know if I can just forget what happened."Â Â
"I'm not asking you to forget," he says quickly, taking another step closer until there's only a few feet left between you. "I just want the chance to fix us. I can't lose you like this, Y/N."Â Â
Your breath catches at the proximity, his presence pulling you in like gravity. The pain from last night tries to claw its way back into your heartâsharp and bitterâbut his warmth reminds you of something else that refuses to be ignored. Â
That flicker of hope that's demanding your attention, screaming at you to just let him inânot just for his sake, but for you.Â
You take a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze. "Jake, I don't need you to...to be this perfect person. I don't need you to prove anything to me."Â Â
You pause, pushing past the lump in your throat, "Because since the beginning, I always believed you. And...I think I still do. Even after last night, I still believe you, Jake. No matter how hard I try to."Â Â
Jake lets out a breath he thinks he's been holding in for hours, "Really?"Â Â
"Yeah," you nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself as much as him. "But I don't need any of your promises or proof or any of that. I just...I just need you as you." Â
His eyes soften at you as he nods so quickly it's almost desperate.  Â
"And I need you to be honest with me, Jake," you continue before he can speak. "If we do this, I need to know I can trust you. Because I don't know if I can do this...this waiting game anymore."Â Â
"You can," he says immediately, closing the distance between you two, making your breath hitch. You can see the way his hands are trembling, the slight quiver in his lips. "You can trust me. No more hesitation. I'm all in, Y/N. This is it for me, you're it."Â Â Â
You search his face for any sign of doubt, any speck of hesitation. But all you find is his sincerityâso hopeful and so realâthe kind that makes you want to let him in fully and let your walls crumble all over again. Â
So you do. Â
"Okay," you say softly, almost as if you're testing the word. Â
Jake's eyes widen, the relief and hope flooding his features. Slowly, as if asking for permission, he reaches out, his fingers brushing against yours tentatively. Â
"Okay?" He whispers, his voice barely audible to you as his eyes flicker between your hands and your face. Â
You nod, your own hand turning over so your fingers curl around his in an instinctive gesture that feels so natural it makes you want to scream. The warmth of his touch feels like the first real comfort you've felt in forever, and it's enough to make your resolve slip. Â
"But," you add softly, your eyes not leaving the way his hand wraps around yours so perfectly, "this doesn't mean everything's fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there."Â Â
Jake nods again, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, "We will. Whatever it takes, Y/N, I'll do it. I need you to know how much you mean to me and I'll never stop trying to show you that."Â Â
You let out a shaky breath as you take in his words, finally looking up from your intertwined hands to meet his eyes, your own slowly filling with the tears you've been holding back.Â
"You really hurt me, Jake," you say quietly, your voice breaking from the sheer weight of your vulnerability being laid bare. Â
Jake's face crumbles instantly, guilt etched into every line of his expression. Without hesitation, his free hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb light brushing away the tears that fall, as if he's afraid you might pull away. Â
Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth of his hand, and despite the emotions raging inside you, you let yourself lean into him. It feels both reckless, yet inevitable, like free-falling and trustingâknowingâhe'll catch you. Â
"I know," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion he can't swallow down. "And I'll spend as long as it takes to deserve you, Y/N. I'll never make you feel like that again."Â Â
You nod weakly, and before you can think too much, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the safety of his chest, his chin moving to rest on top of your head as his warmth envelops you completely. Â
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself break, burying your face into his chest as the tears flow freely, the weight of everything finally breaking free as you let yourself melt into his tight embrace. Â
It's not perfect. It's not a fix-all. Â
But as Jake holds you close, whispering quiet reassurances into your hair, you know it's a start. Â
On the other end of the call, Jake lets out a playful scoff. Even with the slight lag, you can see his lips twitch into that familiar poutâthe one that still gives you butterflies, no matter how many times you've see it now, even a year later.
âAfter all weâve been through, you still wonât give me a cute pet name?âÂ
You roll your eyes, biting back a grin, âWhat do you want me to say? Hi, my handsome, perfect, kindest, funniest, boyfriend in the whole wide world?â Â
Jake leans closer to the camera, his expression completely serious as if you should already know his answer, "...Yes."Â
Giggles burst out of you, shaking your head at his antics. âYouâre too cute to be doing all that, Jake. Pick a struggle.âÂ
He clutches his chest dramatically, âYou know, what? Youâre my struggleâI fly across time zones, run on three hours of sleep, and you still wonât give me a crumb of your affection?âÂ
âYouâre exhausting.âÂ
âAnd yetâŠ,â Jake trails off with a teasing smirk, his voice dropping into that playful, yet low lilt that still makes your stomach flip to this day. "Here you are, calling me at 1AM in the morning.â Â
Your cheeks flush as you glance away from the screen, trying to ignore the way his teasing gaze makes you feel, "Donât' get confused, it's not like I wanted to or anything. I just figured someone should remind you to go to bed or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow at the fanmeet."Â Â
Jake laughs softly, the sound grounding you in a certain way only he ever can. "You're so thoughtful, babe. My number-one hater and number-one fan, all at once. I'm so lucky."Â Â
You send him an air kiss, the teasing grin on your face mirrored by the fond one tugging at his lips. He looks at you like he did in that first-ever call way back thenâlike you're his whole world, and he can't believe you're real. Â
"How's the jet lag this time?" You ask, steering the conversation to safer ground. Â
"It's not so bad," he shrugs, despite the clear exhaustion in his voice. "At least this trip is only for a few days. Then I can come back to the comfort of our bed."Â Â
You raise an eyebrow, "My bed."Â Â
Jake's eyes narrow, "Our bed. Just admit itâyou miss me."Â Â
You pause. "Maybe. Just a little."Â Â
His grin widens, and for a moment, neither of you say anything, the conversation lulling into an easy silenceâthe kind of warmth that only comes with knowing someone so well. Â
Finally, you shift under your blanket, getting comfortable as Jake watches you through this screen, his gaze tender, as though memorizing the curve of your smile, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear. Â
"You should sleep," you murmur, holding your phone closer to your face. The glow of your phone reflecting off your soft features sends palpations to Jake's chest so loud he almost doesn't hear your words.Â
"Mm, I really should," Jake sighs, though he doesn't move an inch. "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"Â
"Mmhm," you hum, your eyes closing at the softness of his voice. Â
âSleep tight. I love you,â his says, voice soft and deliberate, making sure you feel every word.Â
âGoodnight, Jakey,â you tease, letting the smirk creep into your voice, peeking an eye open just to catch his reaction.Â
Jake groans dramatically, running a hand down his face, âY/NâŠnot this again.â Â
You giggle, the fondness within you growing tenfold as you take in his faceâthe slight pout of his lips, his messy hair, his eyes shining with unwavering adoration for you.Â
âI said I love youuu,â he whines, dragging out the last word, his lips tugging into the tiniest of smiles, his entire universe reflecting from his eyes. Â
the end! if you made it all the way, this is for you:
âž(ïœĄË á” Ë )âžâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄ
p.s. i wanted to leave the ending kinda up to interpretationâhence the time skip to a year later..but lowkey what if i wrote short drabbles/scenes of things jake does to gain Y/N's trust again, from small to big gestures etc etc..lmk if that's something anyone would wanna see !!
if anyone lives in the US and is an immigrant i hope you are all safe right nowâice trucks are already in cities and trump is issuing a massive raid tomorrow. if ice does come to your door do not open it if they don't have a signed warrant by a judge. they do not have the right to come in a force you from your homes. do not sign anything or answer any of their questions because well! they're authority figures and they're extremely manipulative and it is your right to refuse questioning
âł summary ââ struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in youâone of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoilâtorn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wantsâand spoiler alert? it's you.
âł pairing ââ jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]
âł addie's â .á ââ hai everyone, the freaking turmoil & HOLD this fic has on me,,,has me writing til 8AM in the freaking morning because CLEARLY â i have unspoken issues . anyways here's a teaser of my recent hyperfixation that i'm sharing with the world. at the rate i'm writing this every night (& morning), it should be out soon (hopefully) :3 also this snippet i decided to include is my attempt at angst...i hope yall enjoy !
also send me an ask/comment if you'd like to be tagged !!! <3
His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago. You stop in your tracks, swallowing hard before turning around. Â
Jake stands a few feet away, his usual easy confidence replaced by something raw, almost broken. He looks disheveled, his hands clenching at his sides as though they're the only thing anchoring him. Â
âCan we talk?â he asks, his voice low but unsteady.Â
You stomach twists, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"Â Â
You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter.Â
He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair. Â
âIâI messed up tonight. I didnât mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation. Â
"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed. Â
"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."Â Â
âWell it definitely didn't feel that way,â your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt bubbling to the surface. âAfter everything you saidâpromised, everything we talked aboutâŠâÂ
"I know, I justâ" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll shatter if he gets too close. "I was nervous."Â
"Itâs been so long, and I didnât know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it rightâto make it perfectâbut instead, I justâ" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest.Â
You let out a hollow laugh, the sound foreign even to your own ears, âWell, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.âÂ
âPlease,â he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. âY/N, please donât think I donât care about you. I do. More than you know. I justâI don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear." Â
You look at him, your eyes stinging with unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, âThen why was...why was she all over you tonight? Why didnât you stop her?âÂ
He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, âIt wasnât what it looked like. I didnâtâI couldnâtââÂ
âYou couldnât,â you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting deeper. âI should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?" Â
Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens this mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at youâeyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right wordsâconfirms everything youâre afraid of.Â
You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lipsâthe sound caught somewhere between a sigh of realization and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you've tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you suddenly, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear youâve ever had about this moment, about him. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true.Â
"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want." Â
"No, noâY/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And itâs you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said beforeâI meant it." Â
His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see your tears finally spilling over. Â
"You promised," you let out softly. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you hurt me anyways." Â
"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one I care about." Â
You shake your head again, the tears now freely slipping down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I wanted to, I really, really did. But tonight..." Â
Jakeâs face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. This was the first time seeing you in so long, and this sight of youâbroken because of himâcuts deeper than he thought possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, âY/N, Iâm so sorry. IâGod, please. Please give me a chance.âÂ
You look at himâat the boy who's become your safe space âand all you feel is the ache in your heart. Â
"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out a deep breath and take a step back. "I think I just need space."Â Â
The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in face, "Y/N..."Â
Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay, to give him the chance he's begging for. But your head knows better.Â
"I have to go," you murmur softly, turning away before the tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look backâto let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged. Â
Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he sees you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say somethingâanythingâbut the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes. Â
The hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps, a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away. Â
A small birthday present for my favorite person @stargirl-gigi <3 i love you so much more than words could ever explain and i'm so thankful for your existence. Happy birthday my love đ€đ€
11:50 P.M
The screen of your phone stares back at you, glaringly bright in the darkness of your own room. Itâs nearly midnight, hours treading towards the end of your birthday and you tell yourself you should be lolling into sleep by now. And yet itâs persisting in its visit. It feels unjust, specifically after spending almost the entirety of your day outside. Your laughter filling the streets with happiness and surrounded by the love infused chatter of your friends. So much love.
Albeit the moment you stumbled into your bed itâs like today was nothing more than an imagination that you had swiped through without much thought. Thereâs bitterness that lingers in your mouth, a longing forcing your heart to weep out in pathetic unanswered callings. You crack open your window, ushering the moonlight in and pretend you donât know what your heart is crying for.
It's all deemed worthless the moment your phone dings â with a ringtone you had set specifically for him â You have told yourself you should change it multiple times. Tried to convince yourself that you shouldn't back yourself in a corner with how specially different you treat him.
Alas here you are.
11:55 P.M
Your eyes widen ever so slightly, your heart picking speed and you curse yourself for the anticipation coursing through your fingers. Urging you to peek at your phone, to feed the gaping hole pulsating in the middle of your chest. An ever so foolish yearning heart. And perhaps the moonlight is only another witness to you kicking your pride under your bed, and perhaps it will cackle at you if it ever spoke, perhaps the way it shines brighter once you sit up and reach for your phone on the bedside table is all in your head.
Jisung: Are you awake?
You donât reply and he doesnât say it, but you know, you always know and so when youâre out of your bed and opening the door to your apartment next. Jisung is standing outside, shrouded in a gray hoodie you have seen him in way too many times. Youâre almost breathless when your eyes meet, and you only pray the moon wonât snitch on you. Spilling all your longing throughout the light that infiltrates his dark hair strands and you pray your eyes donât betray your missing when he smiles with the same bitterness that lingered in you all night.
11:59 P.M
âHappy birthday.â He whispers, softly and tenderly. Itâs cruelled in the way it drowns you in the depths of your emotions yet again. Bringing them back to life with newfound intensity and all the cruses you have memorized all day long dwindle down on your tongue. Melting away with all the anger and resentment you have mastered up all these past months you have not seen him.
A braver version of you, one that isnât stitched together by an aching need for him and an even deeper ache to look at him would slam the door shut in his face. The you right now welcomes him in your space like thereâs no other place for him to belong.
Silence is heavy as it paints the air, you awkwardly move the boxes of gifts you have gotten and Jisung lingers behind just as bunglingly. Pushing down his hood and ruffling his hair. Every sound feels intensified; his breathing has chills running down your spine.
âIs that a ghostface action figure?â His tone is woven with excitement, and you follow his gaze.
âYeah...â You mumble, your tone is heavier than youâd like, and it dims his excitement. You avert your eyes elsewhere, somewhere far from him and yet not far enough it seems because you almost hear your heart screaming for him.
âLooks sick.â He replies, quieter and tinted with suffocation, the same one circling in the air and you let out a breath just as quiet as your eyes find him.
You hold your longing in your throat, in your stomach and the leash of restraint triggers. You closed your eyes, sealed your lips for far too long and right in this moment when he looks back at you, gaze clouded with a different million emotions youâre splitting open. Vomiting heartbreak, sharpened by a feverish urge to have him all to yourself.
âWhy werenât you there?â you ask, and his eyes widen ever so slightly, ever so temporarily as if he wasnât expecting you to ask. And then a nervous chuckle is pushed out his lips â humorless â as he scratches his neck.
âI was busy working at the studio.â Itâs an empty excuse, you know it by now, have known it for the past months he kept uttering it to you over and over again.
âChangbin and Bangchan were there. Everyone else was there but you.â you should let it go. Youâre aware digging at this will only ever result in pain and yet you canât stop not when the clock ticks 12 and you have grown numb from waiting.
âIâm sorryâŠâ He speaks after a few lingering moments of silence and his eyes are drifting, fleeting in their hold onto you. You almost want to scoff. The darkness remains and the moon cackles at you again. His eyes are always running away from you, and youâd rather be buried than yearning.
âI havenât seen you in months,â you say, wishing it came out as a berate but instead itâs weakened by your eyes â filled with twisted desire â one that feels like youâre not allowed to feel âare you avoiding me?â you ask, pressing for answers, something that will end this suffering of yours, something that will help you not feel like a mere notch of time.
âIâm really sorry.â This time you scoff out loud and you wish for answers rather than apologies. Itâs why youâre kneeling into silence that doesnât stretch long enough for you to gather up your emotions and lock them up.
You have kept yourself locked away for so long so why tonight of all times seems to feel like a failing task. An impossible one that you cannot seem to master.
âDo you just not want me in your life anymore?â you whisper, looking down and chewing on your bottom lip as if youâre afraid the louder your voice will get the harsher the truth tumbling out his lips will be. The harsher they will cut.
Youâd rather be buried than yearning.
Because truth is you have been in love with Jisung for as long as you remember. You belonged to him the moment you laid eyes on him and havenât been able to take back your pieces ever since. Not that you wished to anyways. It was a scary feeling, inflating so big inside of you as if it was always there, as if it just needed the sunray to bloom and his smile was all it took. Before you knew it your heart felt deserted without him and love for him exists within you like the lines across your palms. And yet youâre so scared to look at him and witness your worst nightmares come to life. Itâs one that you thought of a lot of times before, one that had you curling up in anxiety and calling for him alone; losing him.
It's the sole reason you sacrificed your soul. Stamped with foolish lies like being friends with him as if you hadnât looked at him with the devotion of a lover.
In a mere moment Jisung has closed the distance between you two, a look of betrayal on his face as if he canât believe what you said and you wonder why heâs stepping on your heart as if you just didnât offer it to him.
âHow could you say that?â his eyes are widened with a tempest of confusion and when your eyes dart between his, the air feels heavier as it travels through your lungs. The space between you two is not small enough and yet youâre closer to choking than anything âHow could you say that to me I- holy fuck do you even realize â âhis words are tangled and messy like wildflowers. Scattered and lost with meaning, direction and itâs thanks to the way you keep looking up at him so softly. His ribcage tightens around his heart, and he lets out a breath âI wrote you a song.â
âWhat?â your brows furrow and he runs his hand through his hair. Something akin to frustration coming to life in the knot between his.
âI wrote you a song because I couldnât fucking stop thinking about you and now you â â he stops himself and your heart starts beating impossibly fast, a song thatâs only ever breathed to life whenever youâre around him and you feel your longing, yearning explode. Spreading across your face and seeping into your eyes and theyâre begging âNever mind.â He breaths, rushed and draping its disappointment on you âI should go i- I donât know.â
Before you have enough time to gather a singular word that he said heâs already turning away from you. Your feet are glued to the ground with strives to wrap your head around the mess you two seem to constantly find yourselves in. A beat, then a second and for an evanescent split second you wonder if you should let him go. If perhaps all these bent up feelings that have been collecting are nothing but a rope of poison slowly strangling you to death. But rather anything youâre a slave to your heart.
What are you if not over loving, over feeling?
By the time youâre after him, hand curled around his wrist it is already too late, Jisung has a part of you and youâre shaking your head.
âDonât go.â You tell him and his expression breaks into the same longing you watch in the mirror every passing moment heâs not here âStay and tell me. Sing me your song.â You say, ask, wish, pray and itâs all between your teeth. All these wishes you have been keeping score of and it is too late.
Your touch burns his wrist, and his own charade falls apart faster than your blink of an eye. Itâs like the minute you touch him everything is crumbling and heâs no longer pressing down on his neck to keep it together. In his dreams youâre a secret he canât tell anyone about but right now heâs backing you into the nearest wall with his hands cradling your face as if youâre the most precious thing he had the pleasure of touching. The world narrows down to nothing but the ringing of your heartbeat in your ears and his shaky breaths. The space between your lips is almost nonexistent and youâre exchanging breaths like a drowned soul coming up for air.
âYou have no idea what you do to me. Do you?â he whispers and itâs not really a question rather a declaration. Pulled from the depths of his being and you welcome it with warmth.
âJisung..â your hot breath is fanning across his lips and he swallows back nothing, feel your eyes squeeze the last drop of sanity he was holding onto. He rests his forehead against yours âShh. Shhâ His hand slowly travels from your cheek to your palm, holding it tenderly and placing it atop where his heart is
âCan you feel that?â he asks breathlessly, gaze pouring into yours as you feel his wild heartbeat reverberates against your palm. A stranger urge to tattoo every beat into your essence has your eyes softening.
âYes.â You whisper back timidly and then youâre leaning closer, nose brushing against his âMe too.â You tell him, closing your eyes âI feel the same.â
âNo.â He shakes his head, squeezing your palm on his chest âYou donât understand. What I feel for you is- nothing like a human can feel. Itâs something out of this world. I-â A labored breath, and his fingers tremble around your cheek that only could be an evidence of love, such yearning. It drips from his eyes when you look at him âYou make me want to rearrange the stars and place you in between them.â He confesses and the way your eyes fill with tears quickly could only be an unveiling of your own feelings, laced with something so you, something heâs so addicted to.
Jisung has never been good at speaking his feelings but you, you make him want to try and fail only to try again, only to spill your name across every star. Scribble your words into every poem and thereâs no love if not for you.
âAll I think about is you â all I think about is loving you. you have consumed me completely. I donât know ââ heâs drawing you closer, his heartbeat accelerating as his lips almost touch yours âI donât know what itâs like not to love you and Iâm scared Iâm gonna regret this. Iâm scared Iâm gonna scare you away but fuck-â
âYou will never scare me away Jisung.â Your mumbles are comfort spreading its wings across his chest and he shakes his head again with a strangled huff, pushed out with deafened ears and an overwhelming intensity that wraps around his fragile heart.
âI donât think you understand I donât think youâre listening to me â â
âI am Jisung. I am listening.â
âNo, no.â he cradles your face closer to his with a shush. Both of you are breathing heavily as if oxygen have been sucked from the room, fled somewhere unreachable if not between your mouths âI love you. do you know what that means? Do you know what itâs like to stop talking to you for months in hopes of forgetting you? only to end up feeling like a fucking loser because I canât write anything if itâs not about you? do you understand?â thereâs desperation woven in his tone, tinting his gaze when he finally captures yours and then theyâre softening like melted candle wax.
Like a blazing fire, burning for you and you thread your fingers through the spaces between his, right atop his heart. If you listen closely, you swear you could hear whispers â callings of your name.
âI understand.â You smile and it blankets his being with warmth, his stars shine brighter âI feel the same.â You whisper hoarsely against his lips and right before your eyelids fall shut, he sees the moon glistening and he finally surrenders, closing the space between you two and interlocking his lips with yours.
Itâs unhurried â tender as if the time of the world is in the palm of his hands and he can bend it to his will. A sweetness spreads throughout your limbs, like honey despite the salty rivulets of tears across your cheeks.
âSay it.â He murmurs between kisses, whiny and desperate as he presses you further into the wall, wishing he could melt his body onto you, wanting, no, knowing heâs nothing but a part of you âTell me you feel the same.â
âI love you too,â you tell him and for the first time in a long time you feel touched and not harmed. For the first time you donât need to swallow down his name but rather speak it into the world because the sun will not shine, this night shall last for an eternity.
âAgain,â he asks, pulling back enough to rest his forehead against yours. His heart aches not in despair for you but in prayers that this isnât some stupid dream of his and if he did somehow only have you in his dream he hopes to never wake up.
âI love you.â you answer with your thumb swiping across his cheek, and he shudders.
âAgain. Tell me again.â His chest heaves and you understand, how one lifetime isnât close to enough âPlease tell me again.â Your hands are gentle on him, they move like water and when you lean forward pressing kisses into his cheek, trailing a map of affection that leads to his mouth and then youâre kissing him once, twice and the third comes with a whisper, a promise.
âI love you Jisung.â
He stays and just like you had hoped night feels like it stretches long enough for him to imprint every word of love on every part of your skin. The walls of your bedroom memorize every sound, every whisper and when youâre drifting to sleep with your head buried in the crook of his neck. Heâs humming a song; your song and youâre too drowned in exhaustion to focus really, yet the lyrics echo in your mind over and over again. A lullaby that has your heart singing along and your essence tangling with his.
My heartâs gone out of it,
I wander the streets in search of something I canât find
â non-idol! jake x fem! reader
â summary: jake didn't think his casual crush on you, his hot coworker at the local ice cream parlor, would flourish into anything. but one day, after a power outage during a shift, the two of you are forced to huddle up together to keep warm, opening up many, many, many doors into your relationship. ice cream was sweet and soft. and despite your appearance, so were you.
â genre: coworkers to lovers, fluff, a lot of bickering, alternative! reader, jake is kind of a loser, rock references, nonchalant crushes, summer romance, baddie reader, JAKE IS JUST REALLY DOWN BAD
â warning(s)? slightly suggestive? just tbh its js jake being really attracted to you LOL
â word count: 12.3k
â joining @bywons 1k event for "show me how" by men i trust. i had a little bit of a different approach to crushes this time. this is extremely late im so sorry
enjoy!
"Can I get uhhhhhâŠ"
Jake deadpanned for the 15th time in the past hour.
He was trying to be kind, to be understanding, to be loving in all ways possible⊠He really was.
But was it that difficult to order a mint chocolate cone with rainbow sprinkles?!
Jake watched as the snotty child before him picked his nose, his eyes glazing over the menu. Itâs been ten minutes and this kid was taking too long to order. For fuckâs sake, he was holding up the line!
For his summer job, Jake started working at the ice cream parlor near the pier. He thought it was a good idea, since the pay was above minimum wage and he liked ice cream.
Wrong!
It was horrible!
From rude customers to his asshole of a boss to his incompetent coworkers, Jake dreaded coming into work everyday.
It was another summer afternoon, where Jake slaved away for his corporate overlords. Summer was only kicking off, so the June gloom stuck like glue. This morning, there were already storm warnings, so imagine Jake's surprise when a whole bunch of people went to the beach today and the ice cream parlor next to it.
"Please take your time," Jake said with a tight-lipped smile. Translation: Iâve given you enough time, kid. Hurry up and order or Iâll actually snap.
The kid blinked at Jake, before picking his nose. "Can I get uhhhhâŠ"
Jake winced, but forced a smile with a nod. "Would you like any recommendations?"
Translation: You better tip me, you little punk.
By now, he could see the angry mothers and kids at the back of the line, quietly complaining about the hold-up. All Jake could do was smile apologetically, hanging his head in embarrassment.
And to Jake's horror, as the snotty little kid was still deciding on what he wanted to order, Jake could hear the back door creaking open, followed by a "Bye, Jake!" before it slammed.
Did Jake ever say that he hated his coworkers?
Today wasn't even Jake's shift, but he had to cover three shifts, because his other coworkers couldn't give a damn. They loved to leave early because they knew that Jake would work his ass off either way. So here he was, now forced to run an entire ice cream parlor with already angry customers all by himself!
"Actually, I don't want anything," the snotty kid blinked at Jake. "Bye, mister."
With that, the kid left, oblivious to Jake's gawking face.
You've got to be kidding me.
If it weren't for the fact that his name tag had his name printed in big, thick letters and that there was already a line of impatient customers, Jake might have yelled.
As he put on his customer-service voice for the next customer in line, Jake could hear the back door creak open again if he listened past the generic pop music playing in the background.
And the moment that he heard a familiar voice, Jake nearly ascended into the sky.
"Jake, I'm here!"
There was only one part of working at this dinky little ice cream parlor that Jake liked.
And it was you.
His savior, you.
You were the only coworker that actually did your work. In fact, you went above and beyond. The only shifts that seemed to be productive on all ends were when it was you and Jake.
If he could recall correctly, today wasn't your scheduled shift either. You were probably covering someone's shift like him, too.
And plus, you were cute.
Really cute.
Jake never really thought he had a "type" when it came to girls. In fact, Jake couldn't even remember the last time he had a crush. But the moment he saw your smudged eyeliner, constant annoyed look, the multiple tassel and charm bracelets on your wrists, and your black nail polish, he knew that you were his type.
You looked like you could probably scare a baby with a single look. Honestly, you could make Jake piss himself with a single look, too. And for some reason, he liked it. A lot. Which was weird.
Within seconds of just arriving, you were already throwing on your apron, fixing up your work uniform before appearing at the counter, ready to do your fucking job.
Jake tried his best to focus on the group of middle schoolers who giggled over every word as they ordered their ice cream, but even from behind him, he could hear you cleaning one of the scoopers and getting the keys for the second cash register. Even though all you were doing was your job, Jake couldn't help but straighten up his posture and run a hand through his hair as you took the register beside him. Just in case you spared him a glance, he had to look his best.
"Hi, what can I get you?" you said chirpily, putting on your best customer-service voice, something that Jake could tell was not your forte. Although he didn't know you seriously, he's had conversations in passing with you, whether it be on slow days, during breaks, or as the two of you closed up the parlor together. You never sounded as enthusiastic as you did now, as you happily helped an old lady pick her order.
You were cool like that.
Actually, really cool.
Jake couldn't think of anyone cooler than you.
And you were pretty, and hardworking, and honest, and responsible, and cooperative, and a little bit scary, but that was hot. You were also very kind to customers, and even though Jake could see your lipsâ which were nice, by the wayâ twitch, he could tell that you were trying your best, which was good, andâ
"Um, sir, can I order now?"
Jake snapped out of his daze, tearing his eyes away from you.
"R-Right!"
Completely missing the way you rolled your eyes at him, though without a little chuckle.
It wasn't always easy being the only competent worker at the parlor. While it meant you got paid more for covering so many shifts, you couldn't say it was fun working the late shifts.
The parlor closed at 11PM on weekdays, so here you were, working late into the night.Â
You yawned as you rang up the last customer of the night, using all of your last bits of strength to muster a smile, before saying, "Have a good night!"
As the door slammed shut, the building winds outside providing more than enough force to ring through the entire parlor, you let out a sigh.
"They're gone, Jake," you called.
From inside the break room, you could hear Jake groan something muffled but definitely, "Finally."
Jake Sim was the only coworker you could rely on. He was the only person your age, both of you were freshly graduated highschoolers working to prepare for college experiences. Despite his party-boy look, he was surprisingly diligent. You definitely noticed how he ended up picking up another person's shift, just like you. Unlike everyone else, he actually gave a damn, which you could appreciate.
Tonight was no different from any other.
It was just Jake and you, working the closing shift together.
The moment you entered the break room, you let out an exasperated sigh, leaning on the door frame. Jake, too, was slumped over on the table, his face buried in his arms.
Your shitty coworkers always tried to convince you that you should be happy to work extra shifts: extra pay, more work experience, have a good rep with the boss.
But what they didn't mention was how absolutely draining it was to work 7 hours straight in a short-staffed busy ice cream parlor.
"Why were there so many people?" Jake groaned, shoving his face deeper into his arms. If you weren't exhausted out of your mind, you would've thought the scene before you was a funny sight. Jake, in his silly white uniform designed to look like that of a sailor's and crooked worker hat, practically melting on the break room table.
"And why were there only two of us?" you added, letting your eyelids fall shut as you leaned against the door frame.
Though, you would say, you did like working for one extra reason: Jake Sim himself.
He was as cute as a button, and pretty easy to talk to.
Jake lifted his head, quickly checking his phone.
"No seriously," he rested his face on his fist. "It was cold and dreary all dayâ and wasn't there a storm warning?â Why would anyone want to get ice cream on a day like this?"
You shrugged. "Beats me."
The two of you stayed in the break room in silence for a few more moments, catching your breaths after a long day. "Let's get outta here, Jake."
Here was your favorite part of the work day: closing up. Not just because it meant that you got to leave, but you could do whatever you wanted.
Jake locked up the front door and flipped the sign, while you locked up front displays and cash registers. The two of you tidied up the breakroom (which was empty because your slobs of coworkers weren't here), before pulling out the mops and cleaning up the floor.
This was the fun part.
"Hey!" Jake cried as you splashed water onto the floor, your wet mop sludging up the water as it moved against the checkered floor. Looks like some of the water got onto his pants. "What was that for?"
You shrugged, with a sly grin. "No reason in particularâ Hey!"
Jake shook off the excess water on his mop, pointed directly at you, the water droplets spraying all over your shirt.
"See?" he pointed to the wet drops on your shirt. "We're even now."
You rolled your eyes, but you knew he was being playful.
It was fun now because this was the time that you could play whatever music you wanted. Your manager always insisted that you'd play generic pop music during store hours, but now that it was closed, you could play any music you wanted. And it was great, because you and Jake had the same music taste.
"Really?" you whipped your head over to Jake as he passed your phone, which controlled the sound system, back to you. "Bon Jovi?"
You winced as loud vocals, strong guitar riffs, and a drum louder than you could imagine blasted through the speakers.
"Bon Jovi is good!" Jake shouted all the way from the freezers.
Maybe your taste was just a little bit different.
Jake was a cool guy. He really was. Very personable and someone that you could have fun with, even if you weren't that close to him. But sometimes his music choices were too much.
"You have no reason to be blasting hard rock at 11PM," you murmured.
"I heard that!"
You stifled a chuckle.
As you cleaned the floors, you nodded your head to the music. You could hear humming along wherever he was. It was all quiet, only the sound of mops, the freezers' buzzing, and your queued music playing in the background. It was small moments like his that made you want to keep working (other than the pay).
And plus, the parlor was very close to the beach.
At times like this, you could hear seagulls squawking overhead, with waves crashing against the shoreline.
Which... now that you thought about it...
Why couldn't you hear any of that?
Usually, even if Jake was blasting the hardest rock, you could still hear the sounds of the sea.
But now, all you heard was wind.
You glanced out the window.
Palm trees blew against the night sky. Wind whirled, creating a howling sound.
And before you could think anything of it, you heard two things: the back door slamming, and the sound of electricity buzzing.
One moment you could see everything, and the next moment it was completely dark.
Your blood ran cold.
The music stopped. The buzzing of the freezers stopped, too. It was completely dark, so dark that you couldn't even see your own hands, save for the single stream of moonlight leaking through the front windows.
You would consider yourself a calm person, you really would.
But in that moment, you felt panic set in.
Because here you were, working a late shift in a tiny little ice cream parlor in the middle of the beach, with no one but your teenage coworker. And now all the power went out.
And because you were afraid of the dark.
The mop in your hand dropped, clunking! against the checkered flooring.
Your heart pounded, so loud that you could hear it in your ears. You could feel it jumping out of your chest.
"J-Jake?" you called out.
No response.
Your mind did wonders to scare you, and now it was working over time.
What happened to Jake? Did he disappear with the lights too? You dug your teeth into your bottom lip.
Were you all alone in the dark? Just you and this dark abyss, a dark abyss so suffocating yet so cold that you couldn't even tell if you were standing or curled up. By this time, your legs were feeling weak, so you wouldn't be surprised if you were on the floor, your knees to your chest.
You squeezed your eyes shut.
The howling of the wind sent chills down your spine. Realistically, nothing could get you. You were just at work, like always, but it was just dark. But you felt like something would jump out at you, something scary and from your worst nightmares. It would get you, maybe hurt you. Were you going to die? Why did you feel so alone? What happened to everyone? What happened to Jakeâ
"[Name]?"
At the sound of a familiar voice, your eyes shot open.
But instead of being met with a pure, unknown darkness, you were met with a tall figure before you, completely shrouded in darkness, save for the stream of yellow light coming to illuminate its face.
Terrifying.
You let out a shriek as you jumped back.
What the hell was that? Was that what got Jake?â
It took a step forward, and before you could scream againâ
"[Name]!" it was Jake's voice. He reached out for you, his hand resting on your shoulder. "It's me, Jake!"
You heard a bit of clicking, and it was then that you realized that the scary figure that you saw was just Jake with a flashlight. You relaxed.
"You okay?" Jake crouched down to your curled up figure, the yellow light of the flashlight glimmering against the floor. Although your eyes had slightly adjusted to the darkness, you could see your hands now. "I think the power went out."
You nodded slowly, still with your knees against your chest. Your heart was still pounding in your chest. You felt Jake's hand reach out for yours, interlocking fingers before giving it a squeeze.
Boom!
You jumped away from Jake, a small "eep!" escaping your lips.
Jake flinched, pointing the flashlight at the front windows.
"Thunder," he muttered under his breath. Although all the streetlights and signs had shut down too, he could see the lightning as it struck in the night sky.
He glanced at your startled form.
"Damnit," he cursed under his breath. "There was a storm warning earlier."
You hid your face in your palms.
This was everything that you didn't want to happen.
It was completely dark, and here you were practically trapped inside. It was impossible to get home, because the roads were all dark, and there was probably an oncoming storm, too. It was cold, and it was just you and your coworker. You just wanted to go home!
Although he couldn't see your face, Jake could sense your uneasiness.Â
"C'mon," he tugged at your hand. "Let's go to the back."
Although Jake bumped into a few tables and counters on the way to the break room, he didn't mind. After all, there was you, who was clearly startled. He'd rather get a bruise on his hip than you.
He could hear your breath hitching, small whimpers of fear tumbling out as he led you through the dark abyss. Jake had to admit, it was much scarier when it was completely dark than when it wasn't.
The breakroom wasn't much better than in the middle of the floor, but at least there were chairs. Not that it mattered.
You and Jake decided to sit under the break table, shoulder to shoulder with the flashlight between you.
It was silent. You couldn't see Jake, but the feeling of him next to you relieved only some of your anxiety.
The flashlight only illuminated enough for you to see a few feet around you. Otherwise, everything else was a dark, bottomless void.
You knew it was illogical and practically impossible for something else to be lurking. But as minutes passed in silence, the thought of somethingâor someoneâ prowling in the dark and ready to jump out at you gnawed at you more and more. Goosebumps rose along your arms, the hair on your neck standing.
"I'm scared, Jake," you whispered, your voice shaky. "I'm so scared."
Thunder boomed in the air, lightning crackled, while heavy rain began to shower down. You jumped at the sound, your hands immediately shooting to grab Jake's arm and leaning into his touch. You squeezed your eyes shut, a scared squeak escaping your lips.
"I'm scared!" you squealed.
Jake's brows furrowed, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.
"Hey," he said into your ear, watching as you curled up against him, clutching his arm tight. "Hey, I got you."
Your hold on him only tightened as another round of thunder boomed through the night. "Open your eyes, [Name]. It's okay."
You shook your head profusely, your face pressed into his shoulder.
"Nothing's gonna get ya," he whispered, slowly rubbing circles on your back. "You're okay."
You shook your head again.
"It's so dark," you peeped. "Too dark."
"It's okay," Jake's voice was soft, soft as a cloud as he comforted you. "I'm here. I got you."
You nodded into his shoulder, but you kept your face pressed against it, not letting up.
Jake watched you, both with a soft heart and with wide eyes.
He wouldn't say he knew you too well. Even so, he'd spent a lot of time with you this summer so far, he had a few good memories with you. You were always so... cool.
Always on-task, always ready to fight a rude customer, always ready to speak up if you thought something was wrong.
It was weird. Seeing someone that Jake had always seen as a pillar of support one way or another completely drop that image of strength was⊠something that he never expected.
Here you were, so vulnerable in his arms.
Jake would have never expected you to be afraid of the dark, let alone some thunder, but he didn't mind. Even with your eyes closed, and even with his arms wrapped around you, you still jolted at each crackle in the sky.
If only he could do something to help you...
Jake let out an 'ah' sound.
He leaned into your ear, whispering right against the shell of your ear, "I'll be right back."
You let out another squeak as you felt Jake slipping away from you, yet he didn't take the flashlight with him.
"J-Jakeâ!"
"I'm still here," he said, yet you heard as he took a few steps. He was rummaging through his bag. He tried his best to feel for what he was looking for: a small, square case. "I'm with you, don't worry."
And as quick as he left your side he was back. Jake slithered his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. Your eyes widened a fraction as Jake fished for his phone from his back pocket.
"What were youâ" you furrowed your browsâ "Whyâd you get up?"
You could feel Jake turn his head to look at you, and you could hear him grin.
"To get this." In his palm, Jake revealed a small, square case. His earbuds.
You blinked. "W-Why?"
"Don't worry about it." You watched confused as Jake took his earbuds out, jabbing it into the headphone port of his phone. Then, he handed you both of the ears.
"For you," he said simply.
As you were about to object, lightning striked again in the sky, yet another squeal coming from you.
You took his earbuds, jamming them into your ear.
Jake pressed the first song in his playlist.
And if you weren't scared out of your mind right now, you would have yelled at him.
Because really?
Bon Jovi?
At a time like this?
The music was loud enough that you could be distracted, but quiet enough that you could still hear Jake's voice. And when Jake noticed that you were relaxed enough, he opened his mouth.
"I'm surprised you didn't want to rip out my earbuds the moment you heard Bon Jovi," he said.
You elbowed him, yet you were still clinging onto him for dear life.
"Read the room, man," you muttered. "I'm scared shitless."
Jake laughed, and you rolled your eyes again. "This is the only time that I'll willingly listen to Bon Jovi."
"Hey!" Jake cried. "Bon Jovi is a good band."
You shot him a look. "Play some Pink Floyd, something."
You cursed Jake. Of course he'd let you listen to his music, because he got to control it!
"Nah," Jake said. "Bon Jovi is perfect for rainy nights."
You scoffed. "In what world?"
You could hear him grin again. "In my world."
What a loser.
You could see his phone screen light up, probably texts from his parents, but he ignored it. Jakeâs phone was on the floor on the other side of him, the side that you were not on.
âAre you sure you wonât play Pink Floyd?â you asked slowly.
âNope.â
Extreme times call for extreme measures.
Your arm reached across Jakeâs lap, jerking to take his phone.
âHey!â Jake yelped, squirming away from you in a way that blocked your hand from reaching his phone. âWhat the hell are youââ
âIâm changing the song!â
The two of you struggled like that for a few more moments, and then the next thing you knew you were on Jakeâs lap, your arms pinned above your head.
âLet go of me!â you writhed, the earbuds in your eyes still blasting the hardest rock youâve ever heard. Although you managed to take Jakeâs phone, there wasnât much you could do if he was pinning your hands above you.
âThen give me my phone back,â Jake ignored your struggling.
âThen change the song!â
âNo!â
You huffed, continuing your attempt to wriggle out of Jakeâs hold, but alas, he was stronger than you. âHow are you so strongââ
Boom! Crackle! Thunder and lightning struck.
âEep!â Immediately, you collapsed onto Jakeâs chest, pressing your face into his shirt. You clung onto him, squeezing your eyes shut. When you could feel his chest rumble with a few chuckles, you punched his shoulder lightly. âShut up.â
Jake chuckled again, but he only pulled you in closer by the waist, allowing you to cling to him more comfortably.
As the storm raged on, any hope that the power would be back up was lost. Jake's phone still had service, but you could tell he was being polite and not going on his phone to not make you feel alienated. Your phone was somewhere in the front, probably on a counter or something.
"We really shouldn't have agreed to cover shifts today," you murmured, your cheek pressed against Jake's chest.
Jake hummed.
He wanted to get past the way that anytime you spoke to Jake, it was either about music or work. He didn't mind talking about these things with you, but he wished he could say more. He wanted to know what you were thinking, and hear about what you liked and disliked, what silly stories or memories you had to tell him.
He wanted to get to know you.
âWhatâs your favorite color?â
???
"What?"
Jake blinked. "What's your favorite color?"
You stared at him. "Why?"
He shrugged under you. "I dunno. I just wanted to get to know you better."
"Oh." What a simple reason. It made sense for such a simple question. "I like black."
Jake scoffed. "That's not a color."
"Huh? Then what is it?"
"A shade."
"Says who?"
"Says science!"
And then it was quiet again (at least on Jake's part, you were still listening to his music)
But not quite awkward.
Despite the compromising position that you were in, there wasn't any feeling of embarrassment or discomfort.
That's how Jake would describe how he felt toward you. It was an easy thing. You were cool and pretty, and he liked you. Nothing more, nothing less. No games to play, no extra calculations or hours of planning. He liked you, and he was just going to do what felt right. It was as straightforward as that.
"What are you doing after this summer?" you asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
That's right. You and Jake had never discussed much about your personal lives, like where you went to high school, what your plans were post-high school, etc.
And now that the two of you were alone, in the dark, with virtually nothing to do, it was the perfect time to talk about it.
"I'm going up to Santa Barbara," Jake said coolly. "I'm studying biomed engineering."
"Oooh," you mused. "How exciting."
Jake let out a chuckle. "You don't sound excited."
"I am," you deadpanned, and Jake couldn't hold back a laugh.
"What about you?" Jake asked. "What are you doing?"
Even though it was dark, Jake could hear you frown.
"I'm going to Davis for International Business." You paused. "I don't know."
"Whaddaya mean?"
You shrugged. "I dunno if it's really my passion. I just chose it becauseâ"
You're interrupted by a loud bang! followed by buzzing. You jolted, tensing up in Jake's hold, whose hand shot to the small of your back protectively.
"Eek!" you cried, and the next thing you knew, all the lights were back on.
You and Jake stayed where you were for a few moments, long enough for the freezers in the back to start buzzing again. As if someone just snapped their fingers, everything turned back on. The bright lights hitting your darkness-adjusted eyes made your eyes water.
"Oh," Jake said plainly. "The lights are back on."
"No shit, Sherlock," you muttered, earning a pinch to your side. It was now that you and Jake really realized your current positions: you were on top of him, with your head resting on his shoulders, with his arms wrapped around your waist. And it seemed like the two of you realized this at the same time.
"We shouldâ" Jake averted his gaze from you, finding the floor next to him very interesting.
"Yeah, you're right, we shouldâ" you slowly pulled away from him, grimacing at the feeling of Jake's arms slipping away from you.
"Yup, andâ" Jake trailed off, not fully completing his thought.
Awkward.
The two of you were back on your feet in no time, both with slightly-disheveled work uniforms, but hey, it was to be expected.
Together, the two of you inspected the parlor. Just in case something slipped in while it was dark (even though that was virtually impossible).
Everything was exactly as you left it.
The mop that you dropped on the floor, your phone on the counter, the keys to the freezer that Jake threw by accident, even the messy chairs.
"Are you scared right now?" Jake asked with a chuckle as you stayed close behind him, your fingers clutching his broad shoulders. From time to time you'd peek around him, but for the most part, you stared straight at his back, unwilling to look ahead. Just in case a monster jumped out!
"I'm not." Lie.
Jake laughed, but before he could poke fun at you moreâ
Boom!
Oh right, the storm.
Like a cat, you jumped almost immediately, gripping Jake's shoulders for dear life.
Jake peeked out the windows. The streetlamps and signs were illuminated again.
"Looks like all the lights are back up," he said. He glanced over his shoulder to you, who clung to him. "I think we can go home now. The storm's dying down already."
You nodded, and the two of you finished closing up in silence, before preparing to leave.
"Do you have a ride?" Jake asked you as the two of you packed up your things.
Shit.
"My mom was going to pick me up because she didn't want me driving late at night," you groaned. "I'll call her right noâ"
"No," Jake shook his head, reaching inside his pocket. You watched as he really shoved his hands in there, like he was searching for something. At last, after digging through his pockets for what felt like hours, he pulled out a bunch of keys, with a tiny lego keychain dangling off of it. "I'll drive you home."
After that day, you weren't called into work again for a few days. In those few days, for some weird reason, you couldn't get Jake off your mind. Which you thought was weird.
You never really thought about Jake aside from work. And it wasn't even the fact that you were thinking about him! It was the fact that you felt weird for feeling weird about thinking about him. If that even made sense.
He's always been cute. Gentlemanly, too.
When he drove you home the other day, he insisted that you didn't need to pay him back for driving you home. In fact, he said that he'd rather use more gas than have you wait alone at the parlor to be picked up. He opened and closed the door for you, showed you how to control the heaters so that you could be warm, and even let you play your music!
He was reliable too, someone that you knew you could count on. And he was very kind, because no matter how many rude customers there were, he understood that everyone was human and served them with a smile. Unlike you, who always exercised that "we reserve to deny you service" right.
These were all things that you knew. It was no surprise. You knew these things.
But after that day, you couldn't help but feel like it was... amplified.
Jake was cute, but now he was cuter. Way cuter.
He felt even more gentlemanly and reliable and kind now. Him going out of his way to comfort you, even if it meant that you had to listen to his god-awful music, warmed your heart.
And that was the weird part.
It was just so odd. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And you felt all weird and mushy for thinking about him, which made you feel even weirder!
You didn't really get it.
Surely, it wasn't a crush.
It wasn't like you were all over the place, distracted and spacy and blushing now that Jake was on your mind. You weren't rolling around and kicking your feet, nor were you giggling.
But you would be lying if you said that the simple thought of his name didn't make you excited.
Meanwhile, Jake knew exactly what was happening to him.
And it was that his crush on you definitely deepened tenfold.
In the moment, when he was with you, whether it be the other day or any other day at all, he was always nonchalant. It was a casual crush, he'd say. Everything was straightforward with no games to play.
But that was a lie.
Because here he was, lying on his bed and staring at his ceiling. He hugged his pillow, embarrassingly pretending that it was you. He felt like a weirdo, but he couldn't get the feeling of you clinging to him and in his arms out of his head!
Just the mere thought of that night made him have to roll around and giggle for a few moments.
Jake sucked in the scent of his pillows. Unfortunately, they didn't smell like you, just like laundry with a faint scent of his own cologne.
You were so pretty, and cool, and kind, and smart, and practical, and just everything good in the world. And then when you got scared and clung to him, it made his heart flutter, because who knew you could be so cute?
Jake let out a squeal into his pillow, his cheeks hurting from how much he was smiling.
For the first time ever, Jake actually wanted to go to work. Just to see you.
He couldn't wait for it.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," you said for the millionth time today. "We don't have that hereâ"
Another day at work. Just when the idea of going to work didn't sound too bad, you're reminded why you hate it.
Apparently some kids on TikTok spread a rumor that your parlor had a special, limited-edition, summer unicorn flavor. And even worse, your damn social media manager was hinting at it on Instagram, too.
So here you were now, trying to explain to a hoard of angry customers that this limited-edition unicorn flavor was absolutely false. To think that your own social media manager would betray you and your coworkers like this just to attract more customers... You shouldn't be unsurprised but you were.
Diabolical.
It must've been the 90th time in the past hour that you had to explain that you had no fucking clue what a unicorn flavor would be, and if you weren't a tired and overworked teenager, you would've felt bad when a little girl bursted into tears in the middle of the store.
Cry about it, you thought, and you couldn't tell if that sentiment was towards your angry customers, or if it was towards upper management that were about to get multiple complaints about you.
Breathe, you had to tell yourself. It's not worth it. Where was everyone else anyway? You couldn't believe that you were left completely alone to operate the establishment on your own. And most of your coworkers were older than you anyway. Those bums!
You sucked in another breath, putting on your best smile.
"You're telling me that you don't actually have the limited-edition unicorn flavor?!" an angry father crossed his arms, upset with his children cowering beside him.
"No, sir," you said as politely as you could. "That was just a rumor. My apologies for the inconvenâ"
"Unacceptable!"
You winced, feeling your ears warm up. If everyone in the parlor wasn't already watching you like a hawk, all eyes were now on you.
"I had to drive two hours here," the father slammed his hand on the counter, leaning in so close that you could smell him. "I drove two hours here for unicorn ice cream and you're telling me that it was all a lie?!"
All of this.... for ice cream?"
"I apologize, sir," you hung your head low to appear genuine, clasping your hands together. "That must have been a long ride andâ"
"Shut up and give me my ice cream, you biâ" Your eyes widened a fraction as you saw a big palm swinging your way... Was he about to slap you? In the milliseconds that you could even react, you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for the stinging feeling of a hand against your cheek.
But instead, you felt nothing, only the sound of a few gasps and light chuckling.
"Hey, there, sir," you heard Jake's voice as you peeled your eyes open.
Jake was beside you, his hand wrapped around the man's wrist that was mere inches away from your face.
"J-Jake?!"
The man struggled in Jake's grip, attempting (and failing horribly) to pull his wrist out of Jake's hand.
"Let go of me, boy!" he yelled. Everyone's eyes were on the scene now. How embarrassing.
Jake narrowed his eyes, tightening his grip.
"Here at Layla's Ice Cream Parlor, we reserve the right to deny any patron service," he said plainly.
The man scoffed. "And are you about to deny me service? What are you, the manager?"
Jake only shook his head calmly.
"You were about to assault my coworker here," he motioned toward you, then to the man's still-raised hand. "I don't need to be any manager to realize that someone of that sort has no business here."
Jake shot him a smile, before roughly letting go of his wrist, letting it fall to the counter.
"Please leave, sir."
He glanced around the room, noticing the way everyone stared at him. Another tight-lipped smile spread on his face.
"There are no limited-edition summer flavors, so if that is what you are here for, I apologize for the disappointment. " Jake glanced at you. "Please help yourself to the flavors that we actually have."
With that, Jake took you by the wrist, pulling you into the breakroom.
"W-Wait Jakeâ!" you tried to pull out of his grasp. "There's still customers out there."
He gently pushed you down onto a chair.
Jake crouched down at your sitting figure, putting his hands on your knees. He squeezed them playfully. "You've done enough today. I'll handle the rest."
"Butâ But there's a lot of people today," you reasoned, placing your hands on his. "You can't run the entire place on your own...!"
But before the last syllables could even leave your lips, Jake was already retying his apron, fixing his dumb uniform hat. Before he slinked away through the door, he glanced over his shoulder, gripping the door frame.
"I'll prove you wrong," he said with a grin. "Just watch."
(You were right, he was wrong. Not even the most exemplary worker like Jake could handle an entire exuberant ice cream parlor by himself. The moment you saw his tired eyes you were already throwing on your apron. Though, you got a good laugh out of it afterwards.)
You deadpanned.
This was not what you signed up for.
It was Saturday, the day that you swore was your break day from work. And then all of a sudden you got an urgent call from your manager and you rushed to work immediately.
You thought that the parlor got robbed, or maybe something broke down.
Nope.
"You want me..." you blinked, "To wear that?!"
Lo and behold, before you was a comically large ice cream costume, with a brown waffled body for the cone and the most obnoxious white swirl reaching high in the ceiling, with only a circular cut-out to see your face.
Apparently, sales were dwindling, so your managers decided to try out some new advertising.
You were going to wear that godforsaken ice cream costume and hang outside the parlor to attract customers.
"Kid-friendly language only," your manager instructed you matter-of-factly. "No swearing, no saying mean words."
You tuned him out.
And if the walk of shame out of the bathroom in your ice cream costume wasn't bad enough, you were hit with the last thing you wanted to see: Jake Sim.
You were about to jump and shriek and let the ground open up and devour you whole... when you realized that he was wearing an ice cream costume too...!
"You too?!" you cried. Behold, in front of you stood your favorite coworker Jake Sim with an equally deadpan expression, clad in the ridiculous ice cream costume.
"Yup," Jake muttered, popping the p. "I guess we'll never be free."
And he was indeed correct.
There was truly nothing more mortifying than standing outside the damn ice cream parlor, holding an even more obnoxiously bright sign and trying to attract customers... all in your humiliating ice cream costume.
Kids laughed at you from across the street. Cars that passed by you probably did the same. Absolutely demoralizing.
"Come to Layla's Ice Cream Parlor," you said in a monotone voice, trying your very best to not burst into tears of sheer embarrassment. "We have ice cream... and... uhâ"
You glanced at Jake, whispering to him, "What else do we have?"
"Ice cream." He said, absolutely no expression in his voice or face. Oh god, we must have lost him too! "Nothing but ice cream."
Poor guy, he looked like he wanted to disappear.
This must have been a punishment, or something. Maybe a humiliation ritual. But after a good ten minutes, you and Jake just decided to commit to the bit. After all, you were getting paid extra for this.
"Ice cream, ice cream!" you and Jake chanted as you paraded around the vicinity of the parlor. After all, there was nothing you could do but make the best of it. You went out of your way to speak to oncoming customers, advertising with the most energy you could. "Come to Layla's Ice Cream!"
But it wasn't always easy.
Like always, customers and children were rude.
"Hello, miss, are you interested in trying some of Layla's yummy yummy ice creâ" and then you got laughed at. Like actually. They just started pointing and laughing at you. Like you were some freak.
And then Jake tried to square up some little kids a few times, it was a mess.
And finally, after what felt like years out there trying to advertise to people, your manager finally called you guys back in. Apparently, you and Jake did such a wonderful job that you guys were needed back at the front. Your coworkers couldn't seem to keep up. Lazy asses.
You and Jake went back inside to change back into your work uniformsâ those stupid blue and white sailor uniforms. Except, one of your coworkers was having an "emergency" in the staff bathroom (you were certain it was just Beomgyu sitting on the toilet with his phone and refusing to do his job), so both you and Jake had to change in the staff break room.
At the same time.
"Okay, you will change, and I will cover youâ"
"Shut up!" you exclaimed. "Why can't we just change at the same time?"
Jake was being terribly awkward about it.
"B-Because!" he reasoned, unable to hide the way he couldn't look you in the eye. "Because.... you're a girl, and I'm a guy!"
"Aaaaand?" you drew out your syllables, crossing your arms over your chest.
"We can't possibly change in the same room?" Jake cried. "What ifâ What if I accidentally see yourâ"
Your cheeks warmed up. What was he on about? "You're not going to!"
Your boss was really annoying about punctuality, so you and Jake should probably change quickly anyway. You ignored Jake's fussing, raising your arms as you began to pull your shirt over your head.
"What are youâ"
"Just change!"
In the end, you guys just did the easiest option: turning around so that you faced opposite directions while the other changed... which should have been intuitive for Jake (but he's a little slow).
When you two were both done changing, you turned back around to face Jake, about to let out your grievances about working.
Except, when you saw him, you couldn't help but let out a giggle.
Because your work uniform was supposed to resemble that of a sailor, there were a few complex pieces, such as the sailor scarf draped over your shoulders and neck. Usually, you need a mirror to tie it properly. There was also the damn paper sailor hat that you had to wear.
Since you weren't changing in the bathroom, there was no mirror, so poor Jake's hat and tie were sloppily done, crooked on his person.
"Jake," you smiled, motioning for him to come toward you. And when he was close enough, you yanked him even closer to you by his shoulders, causing him to let out a yelp.
"W-What are you doing?" he asked, unable to hide the panic in his voice.
You giggled again. Your hands began to work on his tie, undoing his sloppy tie and neatly folding it. "Relax, you big baby."
When you were done with his tie, you fixed Jake's hat, oblivious to the way Jake's ears and neck turned a noticeable shade of red.
"There you go," you said with a grin. "All good!"
Jake looked at you with shaky eyes. You were close to him now. Close enough that he could feel your breath fanning his cheeks. Close enough that if he just leaned in a bit more, he could kiss youâ Jake jerked himself away from you abruptly. His heart was pounding in his chest at an abnormal rate.
Don't think about kissing her when she's right in front of you! he scolded himself. You gave him a questioning look, before you just grinned again and left the break room.
Ah, Jake was going crazy.
Man, fuck you Beomgyu! you mentally cursed your other coworker. You were absolutely correct; earlier he was indeed hogging the staff bathroom so that he could shirk his responsibilities. According to Jake, Beomgyu did this really often, to the point that the staff bathroom ran out of soap too fast because Beomgyu was busy playing with soap and making dumb ass bubbles in there.
Of all times, it had to be now that the staff bathroom just decided to run out of soap?
It was getting late, so your manager told you to start cleaning. And just as you began, some little unsupervised middle schooler skateboarded right into you, spilling his three scoops of chocolate ice cream with layers of caramel and peanut butter sauce all over your white uniform.
And all you were given were a few measly napkins to wipe but the sticky sweet mess, only after you cleaned up the mess on the floor. Now as you desperately tried to clean the mess off your uniform in the staff bathroom, you were certain that your manager was going to yell at you later.
As you reached for another hand towel from the dispenser, you let out a groan as you realized that there were no more. Seriously, what was Beomgyu doing in here that he just used up all the soap and paper towels?
"[Name]," you heard a knock on the door. It was Jake. "You good in there?"
You groaned again.
"No!" you cried from the other side of the door. You were frustrated, how bothersome! Even if there were more paper towels, there still was a giant brown stain on your shirt. And you'd probably have to get another uniform. "It looks like a shit stain!"
You heard Jake chuckle from the other side of the door, before his footsteps retreated. After a few minutes, Jake came back.
"Can I come in?" he asked, knocking again on the bathroom door.
"Door's unlocked."
Except, instead of seeing Jake in his usual work uniform, he had a big black hoodie thrown over him, probably one that he was wearing before he changed into his uniform earlier. In his hands was a white shirt.
"Wear this," he said as he shoved the white shirt into your hands.
It was his own uniform shirt.
"Butâ" you tried to reason with him, but he put his hand up, silencing you.
"Can't have you walking around with a shit stain on your shirt," he said with a cheeky grin, earning him a slap on the arm.
"But you'll get in trouble," you breathed. Your manager was really particular about workers wearing uniforms, and for some reason not about workers actually doing their job.
Jake shrugged. "It's about time I did." And flashed you another smile. "And plus, I was going to get in trouble anyway. Apparently, defending my coworker from a rude customer is punishable."
Ah, the unicorn ice cream incident from a few weeks ago.
Was he really that willing to get in trouble for you?
As you closed the door to the bathroom, you could already hear your manager and another coworker making their comments about Jake. Although you couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, it must have been the usual remarks about inefficiency. And probably about how he wasn't wearing work-appropriate clothes.
You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as you listened to their muffled voices.
Jake was really getting in trouble all for your sake.
As you buttoned up his white shirt, you noted that it carried the scent of his cologne. It smelled good, and you instinctively brought the sleeve up to your nose to catch a better whiff. But then you felt weird and stopped immediately.
It wasn't fair. Everything about your job.
You and Jake had to do all the work, but even so, the managers were disproportionately harsher with Jake than they were with you. Probably because of some sexist bullshit.
And then there were rude and entitled customers.
Jake was taking the fall for you too much.
And you couldn't keep letting it happen.
As you made your way out of the staff bathroom, you could hear your manager berating Jake, with another coworker joining in.
"And why are you not in our employee dress code?" your manager chided. "This is unacceptable! A hoodie? What do you think will happen to our store's brand?"
Jake just hung his head low, but you could tell he was annoyed more than anything. "It was because [Name]'s shirt got ruined, and she was uncomfortable."
"And what business do you have with [Name]?" your coworker joined in lambasting the poor Jake.
"Look, man," Jake looked up at them. "I was just helpin' her out." Jake paused for a moment. "And plus it's closing hours anyway. It's not like anyone sees me out of uniform."
Your manager and coworker thought for a few moments, before your coworker said, "Well, you're still causing a hindrance for our parlor. I think we will cut you weekly payâ"
His weekly pay? Ridiculous. Your body moved on its own, and before you knew it, you had bursted through the door.
"I-It was my fault!" you blurted, your lips moving faster than you could think. "Jake was just helping me."
You ignored the way Jake looked at you with eyes big as saucers, surprised. You swiped your tongue over your lip. "I-It's really my fault. If there's anyone that should get their weekly pay cut, it should be me."
Jake's face visibly contorted, his brows crashing together. "[Name]â"
"That's enough," your manager finally spoke up. The older man sighed, before checking his wrist watch. "Jake, [Name], just forget about it. Don't make this mistake again. Just close up for the night."
And with that, you and Jake were left alone once more.
"What was that all about?" Jake asked you as the two of you closed up.
"What was what?"
Jake huffed, leaning on the mop. "You know, what happened earlier about uniforms?"
"Oh." You shrugged, not really paying him any mind. "What about it?"
Jake huffed again. "Y'know... Why did you step in?"
You finally looked at him, before blinking a few times. "Isnât it obvious?"
Jake smiled. "No, thatâs why Iâm asking you."
You scoffed playfully. "Okay, smartass."
You paused for a few moments. "Youâre my friend, Jake. Youâve protected me in the past, so I'm just returning the favor."
"Thank you," Jake replied, unable to hide the smile growing on his face. "That's very kind of you.
You just hummed in response, going back to cleaning up.
Jake teetered on his feet, back and forth, as he played with his fingers. His heart pounding in his chest, Jake chewed on his bottom lip.
He was nervous.
Just this morning, you texted him if he wanted to hang out with you, because as you said, you were bored.
Hanging out? With you? The hottest girl that he's ever seen? There was no way in hell that he'd say no to such a golden opportunity.
You'd told Jake to meet you at the pier, because there was a nice mall area around there. As you relayed in your texts, you were going on vacation in a few weeks, and needed to go shopping for it.
You'd be lying if you said you didn't have any ulterior motives. You weren't really sure how you felt about Jake. He was cute, and sweet, and you definitely wanted to get to know him better. And there was a part of you that desperately wanted to impress him.
Maybe today could be an opportunity for you.
You checked your reflection in the car window before you got out of your mom's car. Muttering a "bye," you made your way toward where you told Jake to meet you.
It was a sunny day. You chose to wear something breathable, a pretty pink sundress with a cardigan. You didn't dress like this on most days. You liked to opt for dark colors, but today you wanted to be... cute.
Pretty for Jake.
You spotted Jake pretty easily. Not because he had anything that made him physically easy to identify, not at all. It was more like... you simply could just spot him. It was like you had a newfound Jake-radar.
"Hi," you said with a smile. And for some reason, it seemed like Jake was startled, with his eyes widening as he caught sight of you. "Are you okay?"
Jake stared at you for a few moments, and you swore you saw the way his eyes looked you up and down. His lips parted, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he swiped his tongue over his lips.
You felt a twinge of embarrassment. You didn't wear light colors normally, was it obvious that this dress was not something that you usually wear? Did you look strange? Maybe you should've worn your typical black clothing, andâ
"N-No," Jake stammered, his eyes still looking you up and down. Truth be told, he had to bite back a "damn." Because yes, damn, you looked hot. "You lookâ You look nice today."
Your cheeks prickled with warmth. "Oh. Thank you."
"You don't..." Jake continued, as if he was on autopilot. You were beginning to feel really shy when you realized that he was really staring at your chest area. "You don't wear pink often, do you?"
You averted your gaze. "You're right, I don't." How embarrassing! So he notices the things you wear... and he probably 100% knows that you don't wear pink at all. "Does it look weird, orâ"
"No!" Jake blurted, before catching himself. He cleared his throat, his ears a warm shade of pink. "Not at all. I really, uh, meant it when I saidâ When I said you looked nice."
You nodded slowly. Was it normal to feel so warm? Maybe you should check the weather again?
"Really nice," Jake echoed himself. If you weren't busy feeling shy yourself, you would have noticed Jake checking you out for the 50th time already.
You murmured a brief "thanks," before you quickly changed the subject.
"Shall we go?"
It was unusual to feel awkward or shy around Jake, and vice versa. You knew for sure that Jake was a special person, but it never affected you. For Jake, he was determined to be calm and nonchalant when it came to you. And plus, your friendship was always casual anyway.
Which was why all of your shyness dissipated pretty quickly.
You took Jake along to all the spots at the pier's mall area.
"What are you looking for?" Jake asked as he trailed after you. Jake will never understand women. You've been to 4 stores already, and all you've done is touch things and say, 'Oh this is cute.' And then you'd leave.
You shrugged. "Cute things for vacation."
Jake looked around, through the store mirrors as you two traversed the mall area. "Any preferences?"
You shrugged again. "I like dark colors, but I don't mind brighter colors for vacation, yaknow?"
Jake hummed.
The two of you walked around for a little longer until you stopped in front of a store.
"What's this?" Jake asked.
You grinned. "A swimsuit store."
Listen, Jake wouldn't consider himself an easily-excitable guy. He wasn't pervy, either. Especially toward you! He was nonchalant!
But as he entered the girly swimsuit store, he couldn't help but redden at the thought of you in some of these swimsuits. Some of them were provocative and cheeky, making Jake's stomach do flips as his mind crept into places that made it hard for him to make eye contact with you. Other ones were cute and frilly, arguably making Jake's heart pound even faster as he imagined you in them.
"Hey, what do you think about this one?" you asked Jake as you took one of the suits off the rack.
On the inside, Jake was already drooling at the thought. But on the outside he simply nodded, giving a playful smile and a thumbs up. And really, he thought that if he could maintain that attitude for the rest of the time in this swimsuit store, he'd be fine.
But he was wrong.
"Okay, I'm gonna try these on, and I'll have you give me feedback."
What.
What?
And so Jake sat in the couches in front of the changing rooms, simply awaiting his death.
He's not weird, he swears. He doesn't want to be creepy or gross toward you.
But how could he not sweat and basically hyperventilate in these changing rooms when the hottest girl that he's ever seen (you) is about to ask him for his opinion on swimsuits?
Jake was certain that no matter what, you would look hot.
And he was proven correct when you slipped out of the changing rooms.
"Okay, first one," you said, in a voice that was a little too relaxed. You went on your tiptoes, doing a few turns here and there so that Jake could see the full extent of the suit on you. "What do you think?"
And oh.
Good lord.
Jake was really trying his best not to make you uncomfortable.
But there was absolutely no way that he could just sit there and not react. His jaw quite literally dropped the moment he saw you.
The way the suit hugged your body, the way the colors illuminated your skin, the way you were 100% feeling yourself in itâ All of it was making Jake 2 seconds away from crashing out.
You must have been a goddess. Or maybe Jake saved a country in his past life.
"It looksâ You lookâ Iâ Youâ" he stumbled over his words. There were no words to describe how you looked. You looked downright beautiful. Like, if Jake died now he wouldn't mind. And when you giggled at his reaction, he took a deep breath. Don't be a weirdo! he told himself.
"You look beautiful," he breathed, finally catching himself. His eyes flickered back up to your pretty, pretty face. "You look really beautiful in this one."
"Thank you," you smiled at him. You did another twirl, something that you definitely knew drove him crazy. And if you hadn't noticed him checking you out, Jake was certain that you definitely knew now.
And maybe Jake didn't know enough about women. Because he really believed that that one swimsuit was the only one that you were trying on.
And he was so wrong.
Because there were at least 3 more that you wanted to show him!
Oh, he wasn't going to survive this.
Well, Jake did survive.
After insisting on carrying your shopping bag full of your new swimsuits (Jake didn't dare peek inside because he thought he'd combust), you decided to do some more exploring.
You got some food to munch on, and went to all types of stores. And you took many pictures, too! Pictures together, of you trying on hats and sunglasses. Candid pictures of each other, many of which where you look pretty without even trying and Jake's mind is blown.
More exploring, walking, sitting down, walking, and then sitting for 30 minutes because both of your feet hurt. A lot of laughing, a lot of dumb conversations, and even more laughing.
And before you knew it, it was getting dark out. Suddenly, the sound of the waves crashing filled the air, the cool beach wind blowing against your cheeks.Â
"Let's go walk along the shore!"
And so you did.
The orange sky was fading into a dark blue, and yet, the sun still shone so brightly as it submerged into the horizon. The water gently rocked against the shoreline, while the scent of sea salt and seaweed filled your senses.
It was a cool evening, and you tugged on the sleeves of your cardigan to warm your cold hands.
By now, the beach was quiet. Many people had already left, as it was slowly becoming nighttime.
In quiet moments like this, you couldn't help but fully conceptualize Jake as a person.
He was a handsome boy your age. He was kind, sweet, responsible, silly, everything great in a person. And he had a similar music taste to you, too. And here he was, walking alongside you as the sun set.
Your eyes fluttered over to him. His eyes were trained on the sand below his feet, appreciating the way the wet granules covered his skin.
He was a straightforward person. Things went from A to B with him easily. No games, nothing to hide. And yet, you felt like there was so much to discover about him. There was an entire world undiscovered in his head. And you wanted to be a part of it.
"What are you thinking about?" you asked suddenly, interrupting the calm silence.
"You."
.
.
.
You?
You could feel your heart picking up speed, but you kept your composure. Meanwhile, you swore your skin was prickling with an uncharacteristic warmth.
"I-I meanâ" Jake seemed to snap out of his daze. "Iâ I was just thinking about you, and work, and summer, andâ"
You blinked, but your lips spread into a tight smile. You didn't know why you felt disappointed.
You sucked in a breath. "The water's really nice tonight."
"Mhm," Jake agreed. He wasn't blind. He could see the way your face fell ever so slightly. He could see when you felt flustered or shy because of him.
But what if he was misinterpreting things? What if his eyes were playing tricks on him?
But then you'd look up at him with those shiny eyes, almost like you were begging him to give you his heart.
Just go for it.
His eyes dropped to your hands, which were still tugging on your sleeves to keep warm.
Jake clicked his tongue. Boldly, he grabbed your hands, clasping them in yours.
"Hey!" you cried.
"Geez, your hands are so cold," he murmured, before locking his fingers with one of your hands. As if nothing happened, Jake just continued walking along the shore, this time with your hand in his.
You stared at your interlocked fingers for a few moments, before you swallowed all of your shyness and continued trailing with him.
The two of you returned to walking in silence, nothing but the sound of the water and your breaths filling the air.
Jake wasn't lying when he said he was thinking of you, because he really. He always was. And just as he was about to fall back into thought, your hand pulled away from his.
With curious eyes, Jake watched as you silently pulled out a tiny plastic case from your purse.
Your earbuds.
You plugged them into your phone, before jamming one of the buds into your own ear. You looked at Jake expectantly, and he took the second earbud graciously.
You bit back a laugh as you turned on your music.
The second you pressed 'play,' a hardy bass and an unforgettable drumline played into your ears.
"Are you serious?" Jake immediately snapped his head at you. "Fleetwood Mac?!"
You laughed, throwing your head back. "I wasn't about to let you ruin the beach vibe and play Bon Jovi."
"I don't only listen to Bon Joviâ!"
And just as you and Jake were enjoying music, the beach, and most importantly, each other, Jake's phone rang. And of course, his ringtone was a Bon Jovi song.
You gave him a look as his lips spread into a goofy smile.
Not daring to tear out the earbud, he picked up his phone and listened with his other ear.
And even though it was nearly nighttime by now, you could still see how Jake's face morphed.
When he hung up, his face dropped.
"They need me to take someone's shift."
Oh.
This was really, very, genuinely, seriously annoying.
Because unfortunately, the truth was that if they needed Jake to work, then they probably needed you to work too.
Because they always needed you and Jake to work.
And so, here your (not-so official) date was ending.
Apparently, it was extremely urgent, and they insisted on paying Jake extra if he came. Not to worry, because he texted your manager to make sure that you'd get extra pay if you came along, too.
The moment that you stepped into the parlor, you could feel all the joy leaving your body. You swore that Laylaâs Ice Cream Parlor had evil spirits in there, designed specifically to simply fill your body with dread.
You put on one of the spare work uniforms that the parlor had in the back. It was a little big, and a little itchy, but whatever.
When Jake got the phone call and explained to you the situation, you were fully expecting a packed parlor, with a line that went out the door and your incompetent coworkers couldn't handle it, or something. But now that you were in the parlor, you realized that that was just a load of bullshit.
"Empty," Jake muttered behind you. "There is absolutely no one here."
You hummed in agreement, equally deadpan.
Those lazy bums.
They just didn't want to work the closing shift. They just didn't want to do the cleaning or locking up. They just wanted you to take their shifts so that they could go home and relax.
And so here you two were, just lazing around in the breakroom, just trying to pass the time. You let your phone play some random playlist.
"I'm sorry," Jake said, with his cheek pressed against the breakroom table. "We were hanging out and I decided to take us to work."
"Nah, you're justified," you said lazily. "They're promising us extra pay, so it's fine."
The room went silent again, but you could tell Jake was thinking something. And indeed, he was.
Jake felt horrible! Although you did agree to come to work with him, he still felt back. Did he just fumble your first (unofficial) date? God, he's so stupid! Now you two were stuck in the worst place on earth.
He stared at your bored expression.
He couldn't let you stay bored.
Without a word, he got up from his seat in the breakroom and disappeared out to the front. You could hear some cluttering and buzzing.
"Close your eyes!" he yelled before he came back to where you were in the breakroom. And you complied.
"What are you doing, Jake?" you asked, but you couldn't help but smile. He was definitely up to some antics.
"Just close your eyes," he instructed you, before sitting down with you at the breakroom table again.
Jake clasped his hands together. "I have three cups of ice cream here. You will close your eyes and guess which one is which."
You let out an exasperated sigh. "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" Jake laughed. "We can't get bored in here."
You chuckled. "Okay, fine."
Jake watched you intently as he spoon-fed you the first spoonful of ice cream.
The first flavor was strawberry, your personal favorite.
Maybe it was getting late, or maybe Jake was just too obsessed with you, but he couldn't take his eyes off of the way your pretty lips opened up for the ice cream. He was simply so mesmerized by the way you licked your lips, relishing in the way the sweet strawberry ice cream melted on your tastebuds.
"This is so obvious," you nudged him, kicking him from under the table. "At least make it hard for me!"
Jake rolled his eyes playfully. "Just guess!"
You huffed, mumbling something about him being stupid under your breath. "Strawberry. Duh."
"Woo hoo!" Jake cheered for you. "It was strawberry!"
"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."
The second flavor was ube. Which you guessed almost immediately.
"Next flavor, please," you giggled. "This game is too easy,"
But Jake wasn't listening to you in the slightest.
Just why did you have to start licking the spoon clean? The way your glossy lips wrapped around the spoon, your tongue wrapping around the smooth plastic, and now he was feeling all types of things, andâ
"Seriously, make it harder for me!"
Jake gulped.
The last flavor he had was salted caramel. His own personal favorite.
He'd already taken a few bites out of it.
He glanced at your lips, then down at the salted caramel ice cream.
Even under the corporate light of the break room, you still glowed so prettily. And you must have been doing it on purpose, the way you were keeping the spoon in your mouth, with your lips wrapped around it so prettily.
Jake's eyes flickered back to your lips once more, then to the salted caramel ice cream.
His heart was already pounding in his chest. All the blood was rushing to his head and Jake thought that he'd faint.
Your lips were just so damn pretty.
It seemed like something was possessing Jake's body. While his mind was frozen on your lips, his body was moving on its own.
He reached out for you first, his large hand taking solace on your shoulder.
And in one, fluid motion, Jake leaned in, and closed the gap between his lips and yours.
Your lips were soft and sweet, like clouds. Jake's eyes had unconsciously fallen shut, and the moment that he realized that he was kissing you, they shot open. However, just as he was about to pull away, because oh my god he was kissing you, and he didn't even ask!, Jake felt your hand slither up around his neck.
You pulled him in even closer, deepening the kiss.
Jake felt dizzy. It was the way your tongue dipped into his mouth when he let out a little gasp. Or maybe it was the way your fingers ran through his hair, almost as if you were desperate to keep his lips on yours. Your everythingâ your hands, your lips, your scentâ they were all driving him insane.
Jake didn't want it to end, and if it weren't for his need for air, he wouldn't have pulled away. Ever.
The two of you sat there, breathless, staring into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Jake's cheeks were red, his pupils blown out with desire. His eyes fell down to your lips.
"Salted caramel," you breathed, your hands sliding down to his shoulders. You squeezed his shoulders. "You taste like salted caramelâ kiss me if that's the answerâ"
And you didn't need to ask him twice, because Jake was already crashing his lips against yours.
There was something so addictive about your lips. The way you moaned against his lips, the way you clung onto him like you needed him, it was all driving him crazy.
Jake needed more, he needed you.
In his head, it was all just you, you, you.
"I want you so bad," Jake mumbled against your lips. "Please."
He could feel you giggle, but he simply just slides his hand around your waist to pull you closer.
Your lips moved against his in ways that were too perfect to be real. Jake felt like he was in heaven. You were heaven. You were angelic, you were godly, you wereâ
"Um, excuse me, are you guys still open?"
!!!
You and Jake jumped away from each other.
Shit.
It was still store hours.
"Are we going to get fired?"
Now it was actually closing hours.
You and Jake started cleaning after you were so rudely interrupted, and now it was time to close up.
And it was awkward.
Your heart was practically leaping out of your chest. It felt like forever since you shared your kisses with Jake. And now, you craved his lips once more.
But what if it was just on the whim? What if Jake just did it to do it?
You just wanted him so bad. You wanted to kiss him again, you wanted to feel him again.
"For what?"
You shifted uncomfortably, your eyes refusing to meet Jake's.
"Kissing coworkers."
"No!" Jake's cheeks flared up. "Of course not!"
"Then..." your brows furrowed. Your face felt hot to the touch. You felt like you were going to get a heart attack. Seriously, you felt like you were burning up, all the while you felt frozen in time and space. You slowly looked up at Jake. "Then can we... you know... keep doing it?"
.
.
.
"Iâ I mean, if you don't mindâ and if it's not something that we could get fired forâ" you stammeredâ "Then can we... you knowâ can we keep kissing?"
Jake was already on it.
âEek, Jake, lock the doors first!â
After a few more weeks of hiding in the storage closet to makeout, and honestly straight up shirking your responsibilities to kiss in the breakroom, you and Jake did the unthinkable.
"We resign!"
Your manager looked at you incredulously. "W-What?"
You and Jake smiled. "We quit."
You've never felt more free. With your boyfriend at your side, it seemed like the summer was endless.
BONUS
"Did I ever tell you that I liked you?" you asked Jake, in his car just moments after you quit your job.
"I don't think you did, babe," Jake laughed.
"Oh."
You should probably put that on your to-do list.
You glanced at your boyfriend. How his lips looked so kissable.
Sigh. You'll tell him what you like later. It's time to kiss!
note: please reblog n comment if you enjoyed! xoxo vanya >_<
His neglect wasnât an accidentâit was a choice, one you kept excusing as âbusyâ while swallowing your hurt and waiting for him to care enough to show up. The harsh truth? He simply didn't care enough to make the effort. Remember this, ladies: if he truly wanted to, he would. "Busy" is just another word for âasshole.â And âassholeâ is another word for the man youâre married to.
word count: 22k
pairing: ceo!jake x fem!reader
featuring: enhypen, wonyoung from ive
genre: marriage of convenience, slow burn romance, enemies to lovers (kinda), second chance romance, angst
warnings: this story contains dynamics of a toxic relationship, angst and miscommunication at its peak, sensitive power dynamics, mild depictions of violence, themes of loneliness and low self-worth, implications of infidelity (no actual cheating), rich people drama, jake is kind of an asshole, sunghoon and wonyoung are married in this fic for plot purpose.
disclaimer: this is a work of pure fiction. If any context is similar to any other stories, it's either inspired (in which credit will be given) or just a coincidence. the characters' personalities, words, actions and thoughts do not represent them in real life. any resemblance to any real life events or person, present or past, are purely coincidental. i apologise in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. characters are aged up for plot purpose.
notes from nat: inspired by when the phone rings cause i love the colour red /hj. highly recommended to read with the playlist i curated in order! without further ado, enjoy!
They say if heâs not calling, itâs because youâre not on his mind. The first time you heard it, you shrugged it off. Of course, it wasnât true. He was busy, wasnât he? Busy with work, with meetings, with people who needed his attention more than you did in that moment. You told yourself it wasn't personal when the texts became shorter, when the phone calls grew less frequent, when the hours between hearing from him stretched into days.
But over time, the silence becomes heavier. The excuses, sharper. If he promised to be home by eight and didnât show until eleven, it was work. If he forgot to call when he said he would, it was exhaustion.
You let these small disappointments settle into the cracks of your relationship, a habit you didnât even notice forming until you could barely remember what it felt like to be a priority.Â
You tell yourself heâs under pressure, that heâs got a lot on his plate. But deep down, thereâs a gnawing thought that wonât leave you alone: If he wanted to, he would. If he cared, heâd show up. Not just in the big moments, but in the small, forgettable onesâthe ones that donât require much but say everything. A text to check in, a call to ask how your day went. Something to remind you that you matter, that you still have a place in the life he leads without you.
But the truth settles in like a bitter cold creeping under your skin: he doesnât think about you the way you think about him.
When heâs late, when he misses promises, when he leaves you waitingâitâs not a fluke. Itâs a choice. And the more you excuse it, the more he learns that itâs okay to disappoint you, that your needs can always wait. Heâs fine with it because he doesnât have to feel the weight of your frustration, your sadness, your growing resentment.
"Busy" has become his favourite shield, his go-to excuse for everything. But âbusyâ is just another way of saying, "I donât care enough." âBusyâ is what he hides behind when he doesnât want to confront the fact that heâs letting you down, over and over again.Â
And each time, you forgive him. Each time, you swallow your hurt, tell yourself itâs not a big deal, and convince yourself to wait a little longer for him to make the effort youâre aching for.
But deep down, you know. "Busy" is another word for âasshole.â And âassholeâ is another word for the man youâre married to.
âĄă·ËË· ·ËË·ăâĄ
A marriage of convenienceâthatâs what you call this arrangement with Sim Jaeyun. Itâs the only thing you can call it. Nothing about it feels real. No feelings. No chemistry. No intimacy. Just labels and the sweet, sweet promise of partnership, sweetened further by the monetary incentive that comes with it.Â
A deal dressed up as love.
At least, thatâs how Jaeyun sees it. For you, it wasnât always so simple.
You entered this marriage with no great love for him, true enough. Just a sense of duty and loyalty to your parents, to the company, to everything youâve been raised to uphold as the eldest daughter of your family.
Jaeyunâs aloofness during your first meeting confirmed your suspicions that he felt the same. He was another child born with a silver spoon, another soul sacrificed to family ambition. Like you, he couldnât complain about marrying someone he didnât love because his parents had done it before him.
Putting aside the whole nature of your marriage, Jaeyun wasnât a bad man.
In fact, he was decent. Polished. Accomplished. Sim Jaeyun had graduated summa cum laude from an Ivy League and, at twenty-eight, was already a legend in business circles.
They called him The Prodigyâa nickname that reverberated in the boardrooms of the elite. Women flocked to him, drawn by his sharp intellect, his undeniable charm, and, of course, his devastating good looks.
Youâd rather bite your tongue than admit it, but heâs the most attractive man youâve ever laid eyes on. Sim Jaeyun could make anyoneâs heart race with just a glance. If you had to be forced into this sham of a marriage, at least you could say you were tied to someone who didnât make you cringe every time you looked at him.
In the beginning, you played your roles so well that even you almost believed it.
To the press, to the public, you were the Dreamlike Couple. The perfect pair. Youâpoised and graceful, the epitome of elegance. Himâdriven and magnetic, a man at the pinnacle of success. Together, you seemed untouchable, the kind of pairing that only existed in fairy tales.
It was a dream. For a time.
Marrying into the Sim family meant becoming the perfect housewife, a shadow to Jaeyunâs brilliance. Your days revolved around himâensuring his comfort, supporting his exhausting nine-to-five (more like nine-to-midnight) grind.
And in return, Jaeyun played his part too. He brought you flowers, sat across from you at candlelit dinners, and whisked you away for picture-perfect dates on the rare weekends he wasnât buried in work.
It wasnât love, but it was enough. And slowly, against all your better instincts, you fell for him.
You fell for himânot all at once, but slowly, like the steady drip of a leaking faucet, each drop carving its way into your heart.Â
It was in the small, unexpected moments: the way his eyes softened when he asked if you were settling in well, the rare, fleeting smile that lit up his otherwise composed face, the quiet patience with which he listened when you nervously rambled about your day.Â
He was kind in ways that felt almost invisible, offering you a coat when you forgot yours, leaving your favourite coffee on the counter without a word, defending you in meetings with his parents when they criticised your choices. It wasnât the grand gestures that pulled you in, but the subtletiesâthe way he seemed to remember the little things about you, like the books you loved or the songs that made you hum along absentmindedly.
You started to believe, naively perhaps, that behind the formalities and the distance, there was something real. Something that could grow.
And in those moments, you let your guard down, foolishly allowing hope to slip through the cracks of your carefully constructed defences.
But what started as a dream turned into a slow-brewing nightmare.
It took a year.
Just one year for the cracks in Jaeyunâs performance to show. Maybe he got tired of pretending. Maybe the strain of coming home to a wife he didnât love became too much. Whatever it was, the distance between you started to grow.
The flowers stopped coming. The dinners grew silent, then ceased altogether. Dates became a thing of the past. The man who once made you feel like you were part of his world now barely acknowledged your existence.
You tried to rationalise it at first. He was busy, wasnât he? Work was demanding. Meetings ran late. Deadlines piled up. Days would pass without a word from him.
But the excuses only held for so long. Because deep down, you knew. If Jaeyun wanted to, he would. If he cared, heâd find the time. He wouldnât leave you sitting alone at the dinner table or waiting for a call that never came. He wouldnât let the silence stretch until it swallowed what little connection you had left.
And yet, you forgave him. Over and over again. Each missed promise. Each broken gesture. You told yourself it wasnât a big deal, that you could bear it. But with every disappointment you let slide, Jaeyun learned he could let you down without consequence.
Now, as you lie awake in the vast emptiness of your bedâyes, your bed, in your room, the one he rarely steps foot in anymoreâyou canât help but wonder: Was it ever real? Did he ever try, even for a moment? Or had he always been this indifferent, just more skilled at masking it in the beginning?
Sim Jaeyunâthe prodigy, the golden boy, the man you once dared to believe you could build a life withâhas become little more than a stranger. A stranger who wears a ring that matches yours, yet feels worlds apart. And here you are, left holding the shattered pieces of a marriage that, in truth, was never whole to begin with.
You shouldâve known, from the moment he slipped that ring onto your fingerâa ring just a fraction too tightâthat you were always going to feel suffocated. It was a perfect metaphor, really.
Now, every time you return homeâwhether itâs from mingling with the polished wives of his business partners, or from a solitary stroll in the parkâyou make a ritual of sliding the ring off, desperate to feel untethered, if only for a little while.
But no matter how many times you remove it, you can never truly escape him. Because the ring, with the way it pressed into your skin, leaves its imprintâa faint indentation that lingers long after itâs gone, marking you not as a partner but as a possession of the Sim family.
It feels like a cruel irony, that even without the ring, Sim Jaeyunâs grasp remains, his mark on you inerasable, etched into your skin and your soul like a tattoo.
The clock on the wall ticks steadily, mocking you with its rhythmic precision as the evening stretches into night. The once-flickering hope youâd clung toâthat Jaeyun might remember this dayâhas long since withered, replaced by a familiar, hollow ache.
The dining table is set, the soft glow of candles casting shadows across the untouched plates. Youâd debated with yourself earlier, wondering if it was worth the effort. But some stubborn part of you refused to let the day pass unnoticed.
After all, itâs your wedding anniversary. Even if Jaeyun doesnât care, you do.
By the time the clock strikes eleven, the candles have burned low, the food long gone cold. You sit in the dim light, your hands clasped tightly in your lap, willing yourself not to cry.
When the front door finally opens, the faint sound of Jaeyunâs footsteps echoes through the house. He steps into the living room, his tie loosened and his hair slightly disheveled.
He looks tiredâno, careless. He doesnât even notice the table or the candles.
"Youâre still awake?" he asks, his tone neutral, almost surprised.
You rise slowly, your voice calm despite the storm raging inside you. "Itâs our anniversary, Jaeyun."
He freezes, his brows knitting together as if trying to recall something important. The blank look on his face confirms what you already knew. He forgot.
"Shit," he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "Iâm sorry. Work was crazy today. I didnâtâ"
"Donât," you cut him off, your voice trembling. "Donât tell me it was work. Donât make another excuse."
He looks at you, clearly unprepared for the edge in your tone. "Itâs not an excuse. I was genuinely busy."
"Busy," you repeat, the word dripping with bitterness. "Youâre always busy, Jaeyun. Too busy to call, too busy to show up, too busy to even remember the day we got married. Do you even care at all?"
His expression hardens, and he steps closer, his tone defensive. "Of course I care. But I have responsibilities, and I canât just drop everythingâ"
"Responsibilities?" you snap, your voice rising. "What about your responsibility to me? To this marriage? Or does that come last, after work and meetings and everything else that apparently matters more than I do?"
"You act like I donât try," he snaps, his tone sharper now. "I work my ass off to give us a good life, to make sure you have everything you need."
"I donât need your money, Jaeyun!" you shout, your anger finally spilling over. "I need you! I need a husband who shows up, who cares, who remembers things that matter. But instead, I get thisâthis stranger who walks through the door whenever he feels like it and expects me to be okay with it."
He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Youâre overreacting."
The words hit you like a slap. "Overreacting?" you echo, incredulous. "You think Iâm overreacting because Iâm upset that you forgot our anniversary? Because Iâm tired of being the only one who gives a damn about this marriage?"
His eyes darken, and his frustration boils over. "Thatâs because it isnât real!" he snaps, his words slicing through the air like a blade.
You freeze, the weight of his admission sinking into your chest.
"This marriage," he continues, his tone sharp and unrelenting, "was never about love. It was a deal. You knew that going in. So donât stand there acting like I owe you something I never promised."
His words hit you like a sledgehammer to the face, leaving you momentarily breathless.
"I knew what it was," you say, your voice shaking but steadying as the anger flares in your chest. "But I didnât sign up to be treated like Iâm invisible. I didnât agree to be an afterthought, Jaeyun. Iâve been tryingâtryingâto make this work. And what have you done? Youâve shut me out. Youâve made it clear, over and over, that I donât matter."
Jaeyun exhales harshly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didnât mean it like that," he mutters.
"Yes, you did," you say, your voice soft but cold. "And thatâs the worst part. You meant every word."
The silence between you is deafening. Jaeyun doesnât apologise, doesnât take back what he said. He just stands there, his expression unreadable, as if waiting for the conversation to end.
Finally, Jaeyun exhales, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I donât know what you want me to say," he mutters.
"I donât want you to say anything," you reply, your voice quieter now but no less firm. "I want you to do something. But I donât think youâre capable of that, are you?"
He doesnât answer, and the silence feels like confirmation.
You swallow the lump in your throat, tears threatening to spill but held back by sheer force of will. "I donât know why I keep hoping for more from you," you whisper. "Youâve made it clear that Iâll never get it."
Without waiting for his response, you turn and walk away, leaving him standing alone in the living room. The weight in your chest grows heavier with each step, but you donât look back. Once inside your room, you close the door softly behind you, the sound somehow softer than the silence that follows.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, you let out a shaky breath and yank the ring off your finger as if itâs searing your skin. Itâs almost instinctual, the need to rid yourself of the weight of itâthe reminder of promises that were never real. You clutch the ring tightly in your palm for a moment before tossing it onto the nightstand with a dull clink.
You stare down at your hand, at the faint imprint left behind, the tattoo burned into your ring finger. No matter how many times you take the ring off, the mark remains, mocking you with its permanence.Â
A bitter laugh escapes your lips as tears prick your eyes, the ache in your chest impossible to ignore. You press your hands to your face, trying to smother the sob threatening to break free.
Back in the living room, the faint crackle of dying candles echoes in the stillness. Jaeyun doesnât follow. He doesnât knock on the door, doesnât call your name. He stays where you left him, as he always does, letting the silence speak for him.
The last candle sputters out, plunging the house into darkness. You lie back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, your chest hollow but your mind racing.Â
The ring is now firmly back on your finger, snug against the faint tattoo that refuses to fade.
You stir your tea aimlessly, watching the steam spiral into the cool autumn air. Across from you, Wonyoung sits with her usual effortless grace, her beige trench coat draped neatly over her chair, her gold earrings catching the soft light.
"Alright," Wonyoung begins, placing her cup down with a decisive clink. "Spill. Youâve had that look on your face all morning. Whatâs going on?"
You sigh, leaning back in your chair as the weight of her gaze settles on you. Wonyoung isnât just your best friendâsheâs family now, married to your brother, Sunghoon. That makes her one of the few people who can truly see through you, no matter how much you try to hide.
"Itâs nothing," you mutter, though your voice betrays you.
"Thatâs a terrible lie, and you know it," she says, narrowing her eyes. "Is it Jaeyun again?"
The mention of his name sends a pang through your chest, and you glance away, focusing on the street outside. "Itâs always Jaeyun," you admit quietly. "I feel like⊠Iâm stuck. He doesnât care, Wonyoung. About me, about us, about anything that isnât his work or his image. Yesterday was the three year anniversary of our marriage. He forgot, and I donât even know why Iâm still trying."
Her jaw tightens, her usually soft expression hardening in a way you rarely see. "That bastard," she mutters under her breath, leaning forward. "You know, Iâve been keeping my mouth shut for months because I didnât want to overstep, but Iâm this close to calling him out. He doesnât deserve you. Not even a little."
You try to smile, but itâs weak, and the ache in your chest doesnât ease. "Itâs not that simple," you say, voice barely above a whisper. "I signed up for this. I knew what it was. And heâs not awful, you know? Heâs just⊠distant. Cold."
Wonyoung reaches across the table, her hand warm as it wraps around yours. Her grip is firm, grounding. "Listen to me," she says, her voice steady and fierce. "You deserve more than 'not awful.' You deserve someone who looks at you the way Sunghoon looks at me when I burn toast. Like youâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to them, no matter how messy or imperfect things get."
Her words bring a faint smile to your lips. Youâve always envied the dynamic between Wonyoung and Sunghoonâhow they somehow balance each other perfectly. "You and Sunghoon," you say softly, "you make it look so easy."
Wonyoung chuckles, leaning back in her chair. "It wasnât always like that. Do you remember how we met?"
You nod vaguely, but she doesnât wait for an answer.
"It was at one of those insufferable charity galas," she says, rolling her eyes. "I was cornered by some overzealous CEO trying to pitch his latest venture, and Sunghoon swooped in out of nowhere, pretending we were old friends to rescue me."
A small laugh escapes you as you picture it. "Classic Sunghoon."
"Right?" Wonyoung grins. "I thought he was just being polite, but then he started showing up at every event I attended. At first, I thought it was a coincidence, but your brother isnât exactly subtle."
"Heâs not," you agree with a smile.
"One day, he asked me to dinnerâno pretense, no excuse. Just, âWonyoung, letâs go out.â And⊠I donât know. He wasnât like the other guys. He didnât treat me like some prize to win or a business deal to close. He just wanted me."
The warmth in her voice tugs at something in your chest, a bittersweet ache. "And the rest is history," you say softly.
"Not quite." Wonyoung smirks. "Do you know he proposed to me on the ice rink? He can barely skate, but he insisted on doing it there because I mentioned once how much I loved skating as a kid. He spent more time falling than kneeling."
The image of your brotherâstoic, composed Sunghoonâfumbling on the ice (LOL) makes you laugh, the sound spilling out unexpectedly.
"Thatâs Sunghoon for you," you say, shaking your head. "Always dramatic."
"But always sincere," Wonyoung says, her expression softening. "And thatâs my point. Love isnât about grand gestures or perfection. Itâs about showing up, every day, even when itâs hard. Jaeyun doesnât do that for you, and it breaks my heart to see you settling for so little when you deserve so much more.
Her analogy draws a laugh from you, even if itâs faint. "Itâs not like I can just leave," you say softly. "You know how our families are. It would be a scandal. And, honestly, what would I even do? This marriage is all I have right now."
"No," Wonyoung says sharply, her voice cutting through your doubt. "You are so much more than this marriage. And if Jaeyun or your family canât see that, then screw them."
Her conviction startles you, and you blink at her, taken aback. Wonyoung is always poised, diplomatic, rarely letting her emotions boil over. But now her eyes burn with a protectiveness that makes your throat tighten.
"You know what you need?" she says, her tone softening slightly. "A break. Come stay with Sunghoon and me for a while. Iâll make him cook for usâhe owes me after shrinking my favourite sweater last week."
You chuckle despite yourself, the image of Sunghoon fumbling in the kitchen almost absurd. "Sunghoon? Cooking? Are you trying to punish me?"
Wonyoung grins, mischief flickering in her eyes. "Okay, fine, Iâll cook. But seriously, think about it. You donât have to keep carrying this weight on your own. Iâm here. Always."
Her words settle over you like a blanket, warm and reassuring. Wonyoung has always been your safe haven, her loyalty a reminder that not everyone in your life sees you as a means to an end.
"Thanks, Wony," you say softly, giving her hand a small squeeze.
"Anytime," she replies, her smile warm and genuine. Then, with a dramatic sigh, she leans back in her chair. "Now, letâs talk about something that doesnât make me want to hunt Jaeyun down and throttle him. Did you see the dress Jennie wore to that gala last week? Gorgeous, but the heelsâugh, pure torture."
You laugh, grateful for the change in topic. For the first time in what feels like forever, the weight on your chest feels lighter. Wonyoung chats animatedly, her presence a rare moment of warmth in the cold, suffocating reality of your life.
The house is quiet, save for the faint ticking of the clock in the hallway. You sit curled up on the couch, a book open in your lap, though the words blur together as your thoughts wander. The faint scent of candles lingers in the air, remnants of a night spent trying to make this house feel like a home.
When the front door opens, you donât look up immediately. Jaeyun steps inside, his footsteps heavy against the hardwood floor. You can hear him shrug off his coat and place his bag on the console table, his movements measured. He doesnât call out for you, and you wonder if he assumes youâre already asleep.
It isnât until he steps into the living room that you glance up. His tie is loosened, and his shirt is slightly wrinkledâa rare imperfection in the man who always seems so put-together.
"Hey," he says softly, his voice hesitant.
You close your book, setting it aside as you nod. "Hi."
Jaeyun stands there for a moment, his hands in his pockets, as if unsure how to proceed. The silence stretches, the weight of your last argument hanging between you like an unwelcome guest.
"Can we talk?" he finally asks, his tone tentative.
You sit up straighter, your heart tightening. "What about?"
He exhales, running a hand through his hair as he sits down on the armchair across from you. "About us," he says, his gaze flickering to yours. "About everything."
The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard, and for a moment, hope flutters in your chest. Maybe heâs ready to finally have the conversation youâve been waiting for.
"Okay," you say quietly, folding your hands in your lap.
"I know Iâve been⊠distant," Jaeyun begins, his voice low. "And I know itâs been hard for you. For us. But Iâm trying, I really am."
You nod, though the words feel empty, familiar in a way that makes your chest ache. "What does âtryingâ mean to you, Jaeyun?"
He hesitates, his brow furrowing. "It means Iâm doing everything I can to balance everything. Work, this marriageâ"
"Work," you cut in, your tone sharper than you intended. "It always comes back to work, doesnât it?"
Jaeyun frowns, leaning forward slightly. "Itâs not just about work. You know how demanding my job is. Itâs not like I can just drop everything."
"Iâm not asking you to drop everything," you say, your voice trembling with frustration. "Iâm asking you to show up. To put me first, just once. To prove that this marriage means something to you beyond a contract."
"I do care," he insists, his voice rising slightly. "Why do you think I work so hard? Iâm doing this for usâfor you."
"No, Jaeyun," you reply, shaking your head. "Youâre doing this for you. For your image, for your career. Donât pretend this is about us when you canât even remember the last time you asked me how Iâm doing."
He opens his mouth to respond, then closes it, his jaw tightening. "Iâm trying," he says again, but it sounds more like a defense than a promise.
You lean back against the couch, the faint hope you felt earlier slipping through your fingers. "Trying isnât enough," you say softly.
The words hang in the air, heavy and unrelenting. Jaeyun looks at you, his expression conflicted, as if heâs searching for something to say that will fix this. But instead, he leans back in his chair, his hands gripping the armrests.
"I have a big meeting tomorrow," he says finally, his tone almost apologetic. "But we can talk more after. Okay?"
You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head as you look away. "Of course," you murmur. "After work."
Jaeyun flinches at the sarcasm in your voice but doesnât argue. Instead, he stands, running a hand through his hair as he glances toward the hallway. "Iâll see you in the morning," he says quietly before walking away.
You donât respond, your gaze fixed on the flickering candle on the coffee table. The room feels emptier than it did before he arrived, the silence colder, more suffocating.
The sound of his footsteps fades as he retreats to his office, leaving you alone with the oppressive quiet of the house. The weight of his absence feels heavier than the space he occupied just moments ago, pressing down on your chest.
Youâre angry. Furious, even. The kind of anger that comes not from one isolated hurt but from countless small disappointments piling up into something unbearable. You feel wronged, neglected, like a ghost haunting a house that was never really yours to begin with.
To make matters worse, his words from yesterday night echo in your mind, sharp and cutting: "This marriage isnât real."
And youâre remindedâagainâof what you shouldnât need reminding of. Jaeyun wasnât wrong. This marriage, with its polished façade and perfect pretenses, was built on nothing but a deal. A contract. A partnership that never promised love, only convenience.
You shouldnât be holding him to the vows he read off a script prepared by his secretary, each word meticulously chosen for the press release that followed your wedding. You shouldnât be expecting more from him when you went into this deal without any expectations.
Heâs right, as always. He always is.
You just hate to admit it.
You hate that youâve let yourself forget the terms. Hate that youâve let hope slip through the cracks and take root where it was never meant to grow. You hate that his indifference, while expected, still feels like rejection. And you hate that despite everythingâdespite the truth youâve known from the beginningâyou still feel like youâve been betrayed.
Jaeyun didnât lie to you. He didnât promise anything he hasnât delivered. Youâre the one who strayed from the script, letting feelings creep in where they had no business being.
But even knowing that, the ache doesnât fade. It settles deeper, rooting itself in your chest like a splinter you canât quite remove.
Itâs fake, you tell yourself again. But no matter how many times you repeat it, it doesnât feel any less real to you.
The house feels colder now, the weight of Jaeyunâs indifference wrapping around you like a heavy fog. In the distance, you can faintly hear Jaeyun moving around in his office, his presence more distant than the sound of wind outside your window.Â
It hits you like a revelation, though it shouldnât. Some time away from Jaeyun, from this house, from the constant ache of trying and failing, might be exactly what you need. You exhale sharply, almost laughing at yourself. Geez, what took you so long to figure that out?
Before you can second-guess the idea, you pick up your phone and dial Wonyoungâs number. She answers on the first ring.
"Hey," she says brightly, as if sheâs been waiting for your call.
"Is your offer still open?" you ask hesitantly, gripping the phone tighter.
"Of course it is," she replies without missing a beat. "When do you want me to pick you up?"
"Now?" you say, wincing slightly at how desperate you sound.
"Perfect," she chirps. "Give me ten minutes."
And she delivers, just as she always does. Not even ten minutes later, you hear the low purr of a car engine outside your gate. You peek out the window to see Wonyoung and her bright pink Porsche, the car gleaming under the streetlights. Sheâs leaning against the driverâs side door, sunglasses perched softly atop her nose, her effortless glamour making her look like sheâs stepped out of a magazine shoot.
She waves when she spots you. "Come on!" she calls, her voice light but filled with purpose. "Grab your things and get in."
You hesitate for a moment, glancing back at the house. Itâs quiet, the kind of quiet that feels heavy, oppressive. You donât even know if Jaeyun has noticed youâre still sitting out here, much less that youâre about to leave.
Shaking off the thought, you grab an overnight bag youâd hastily packed and head out. As you reach the car, Wonyoung slides her sunglasses down slightly to look at you, her expression softening.
"You donât have to explain anything right now," she says, opening the passenger door for you. "Just get in."
You slip into the car, the plush leather seats a stark contrast to the cold, hard reality youâve been living. As soon as youâre buckled in, Wonyoung cranks up the musicâa pop song you vaguely recogniseâand pulls away from the gate with a flourish.
"You did the right thing," she says after a moment, glancing over at you. "Sometimes, you just need space to see things clearly."
You nod, though the knot in your chest hasnât quite loosened. Still, as the familiar streets blur past and Wonyoungâs confident energy fills the car, you feel the faintest flicker of relief.
The soft hum of the kettle fills Wonyoung and Sunghoonâs kitchen, blending with the faint sound of rain tapping against the window. Wonyoung hums as she busies herself making tea, while you sit at the counter, wrapped in a blanket she insisted you take the moment you arrived. Itâs warm hereânot just from the heater, but from the unmistakable feeling of being cared for, a sensation youâve been starved of for far too long.
"I swear, this house is the only place where I donât feel like Iâm suffocating," you admit softly, watching the steam curl up from your cup.
"Youâre always welcome here," Wonyoung says, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Even if Sunghoon pretends to be annoyed, you know he loves having you around."
The sound of footsteps descending the stairs interrupts her, and Sunghoon appears in the doorway, his hair damp from a shower. His sharp features are set in an expression of irritation that immediately reminds you of how he looked when you were both kids and heâd caught someone picking on you.
"Youâre staying the weekend, right?" Sunghoon asks, crossing his arms as he leans against the doorframe.
You hesitate, fiddling with the edge of your blanket. "If itâs okay. I donât want to imposeâ"
"Impose?" Sunghoon cuts you off, his voice firm. "You think youâre imposing by needing space from that asshole? Please. Stay as long as you want."
You wince slightly at his tone. Sunghoon rarely speaks about Jaeyun directly, but you know heâs never approved of how distant your marriage has become. And now, with you physically seeking refuge in his home, it seems his patience has run out.
"Sunghoon," Wonyoung warns gently, though sheâs clearly on your side.
"No, babe, she needs to hear this," Sunghoon says, stepping closer. His dark eyes meet yours, softening just slightly. "You deserve so much better than how he treats you. Iâve kept quiet because I thought maybe heâd figure it out, but he hasnât. And I donât know what itâll take for you to realise that youâre too good for him."
"Sunghoon," you mumble, feeling a lump rise in your throat.
"Youâve given him everything," he continues, his voice tight with anger, "and what has he done? He keeps you at armâs length, barely puts in the effort, and makes you question your own worth. If he canât see how incredible you are, then screw him."
"Sunghoon, thatâs enough," Wonyoung says firmly, though her eyes flick to you with concern.
Sunghoon exhales, running a hand through his hair. "Iâm sorry," he mutters, his tone softening. "I just⊠I hate seeing you like this. Youâre my sister. Iâm supposed to protect you."
You blink rapidly, fighting back tears. "I know," you whisper. "And I appreciate it. But itâs complicated."
"It doesnât have to be," he replies, his voice low.
Before you can respond, your phone buzzes on the counter. The screen lights up with a notification, and your stomach twists when you see the name: Jaeyun.
Wonyoung leans over, glancing at the screen. "Let me guess," she says dryly. "Heâs just now noticing youâre not home."
You bite your lip, hesitating before picking up the phone. The message is short, as always.
Jaeyun: Where are you?
Itâs not the words that make your chest tighten, but the tone you imagine as you read themâdetached, almost transactional. Thereâs no concern, no affection. Just a question, as if youâre a misplaced item he needs to locate.
Sunghoon notices your reaction immediately. "What did he say?" he asks, his voice sharp again.
You hold up the phone, showing him the message. His expression darkens, and Wonyoung sighs, placing a hand on his arm.
"Donât," she says softly.
"Iâm not going to text him," Sunghoon snaps. "But if he thinks he can just demand to know where she is after everythingâ"
"Sunghoon, please," you interject, your voice shaky. "Itâs fine. Iâll⊠Iâll handle it."
"No, itâs not fine," he says firmly. "But I get it. Just donât let him guilt you into going back before youâre ready, okay?"
You nod, though your fingers tremble as you type out a response.
You: Iâm staying at Sunghoonâs for the weekend.
It feels like a small act of defiance, but even hitting send makes your heart race. You place the phone face down on the counter, half-expecting an immediate reply.
"Good," Wonyoung says, her voice gentle. "Let him sit with that. He needs to know youâre not going to drop everything for him anymore."
"Sheâs right," Sunghoon adds. "And if he tries anything, you know Iâll handle it."
"If our parents finds out youâre always trying to start shit with Jaeyun, theyâd be furious," you half-joke, swirling the tea in your cup. Thereâs a thin thread of humour in your voice, but itâs tied to a hard truth you both know too well. Your parents owe their entire business to the Sim family.
At the edge of bankruptcy, your marriage to Sim Jaeyun had been the final card they could play, a lifeline they clung to when everything else was crumbling. It worked, of course. The Sims, with their wealth and power, lifted your familyâs business from ruin.
And in this, as in so many other things, you lose to Sim Jaeyun.
Be it in this sham of a marriage, in the tenuous stability of your familyâs finances, you know the Sims donât need you. Not really. Not as much as you need them.
Sunghoon leans back in his chair, his expression darkening. "You know I never agreed to marrying you off to that family, despite the consequences," he says, his voice low but resolute.
"I know," you reply softly, your gaze falling to your cup. "You got into a huge fight with Father over it. But you also know Iâd do it anyway, even if you tried to stop me."
"Unfortunately, youâre as stubborn as a mule," he mutters, though his tone is fond. He exhales sharply, his brow furrowing. "But I hope you know youâre not tied down to this marriage anymore. Our familyâs doing significantly better than it was three years ago, with or without the Sim backing us up. You can divorce him, if you want to."
The words hit you harder than you expect. Divorce. Youâve thought about it in the quiet corners of your mind, but hearing Sunghoon say it aloud feels different. It feels real.
"Iâll⊠sit on it," you say after a moment, your voice barely above a whisper.
Sunghoon studies you carefully, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly. He knows you too well, knows that even though Jaeyun pretends you donât exist most of the time, youâre still hanging onto that faint, stubborn hope that things might go back to how they were in the beginning. Even if you canât admit it to yourself.
He doesnât push. He simply nods, leaning forward to rest a hand on your shoulder. "Just remember, youâre not alone in this," he says firmly. "Whatever you decide, Iâve got your back."
You manage a small smile, the lump in your throat easing slightly. For the first time in a long while, you feel supportedâtruly supported.
As the rain continues to patter against the windows, Wonyoung pulls you into a conversation about dinner plans, her voice light and teasing as she asks Sunghoon to attempt making something edible for once. The tension in the room softens, and for a brief moment, you let yourself breathe.
Your phone buzzes faintly on the table, and your heart skips when you see Jaeyunâs name. The message isnât anything specialânothing more than a curt reply to the one you sent earlier. Itâs impersonal, distant, but you tell yourself itâs enough.
At least, thatâs what you try to tell yourself.
The house is eerily quiet when you step inside, the echo of your keys hitting the console table filling the space. You kick off your shoes and glance around, expecting the usual stillness of a house thatâs more empty than lived-in. Jaeyun should already be at work. Itâs Monday morning, and his schedule is usually airtight at the start of the week.
You place your weekend bag by the stairs, your chest feeling lighter than it has in months. The time with Wonyoung and Sunghoon had been a breath of fresh air, a reprieve from the weight of this house and everything it represents.
But as you make your way toward the kitchen, something feels⊠off.
The air is heavy, and thereâs no sign of the usual orderliness Jaeyun insists on. A mug sits abandoned on the counter, and his shoes are still by the doorâthings that wouldnât be there if heâd left for the office.
Curious, you make your way upstairs, the faintest sense of unease prickling at your skin. The door to Jaeyunâs room is slightly ajar, and when you push it open, your breath catches.
Heâs there, lying in bed, his usually impeccable appearance replaced by disheveled hair and a pale complexion. The blanket is pulled up to his chin, and the faint flush on his cheeks tells you everything you need to know.
Heâs sick.
"Jaeyun?" you say softly, stepping into the room.
He stirs at the sound of your voice, his eyelids fluttering open. His usual sharp gaze is dulled, clouded by fever. "Youâre back," he murmurs, his voice hoarse.
"I thought youâd be at work," you say, approaching the bed cautiously.
He lets out a weak chuckle that quickly dissolves into a cough. "I tried," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "Made it as far as the shower before I gave up."
For a moment, youâre not sure what to do. This is new territory for both of you. But then something shifts inside you, something instinctive. You sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out to press the back of your hand to his forehead.
"Youâre burning up," you say, frowning. "Why didnât you call someone?"
"I didnât think it was that bad," he mutters, closing his eyes again.
You sigh, standing up and glancing around the room. "Stay here. Iâll be back."
His lips twitch, almost as if he wants to argue, but he doesnât. Instead, he watches you leave, his usually stoic expression softening ever so slightly.
You return a few minutes later with a damp cloth, a glass of water, and the medicine you keep stocked in the kitchen. Jaeyun doesnât protest as you sit beside him again, carefully pressing the cloth to his forehead.
"You donât have to do this," he says, though his voice lacks conviction.
"I know," you reply simply.
He watches you for a moment, his gaze softer than youâre used to. "Thank you," he murmurs.
You nod, focusing on your task. Thereâs a quiet intimacy in the moment, the kind you havenât felt in a long time.
As you help him sit up to take the medicine, his hand brushes against yours, and for a second, neither of you moves. Itâs such a small, fleeting thing, but it feels monumental in the stillness of the room.
"Youâve done this before," he says suddenly, his voice tinged with curiosity.
You raise an eyebrow. "Taken care of someone whoâs sick? Of course."
"No," he says, shaking his head slightly. "You. Youâre⊠good at this. Gentle."
The comment catches you off guard, and you glance away, busying yourself with adjusting the blanket. "Itâs nothing," you say quietly.
But Jaeyun doesnât let it drop. "Itâs not nothing," he says, his voice softer now. "I donât think Iâve ever noticed that about you before."
The words hang between you, and for the first time in years, you see something in his expression that isnât indifference or frustration. Itâs gratitude.
"Rest," you say, deflecting the moment as you stand. "Iâll check on you later."
"Wait," he says, his voice stopping you in your tracks.
You turn, surprised. "What?"
"Will you⊠keep me company?" he asks, his tone hesitant. "Just for a little while."
Your heart clenches, and despite everything, you nod. "Okay."
You sit back down, leaning against the headboard as Jaeyun closes his eyes, his breathing evening out. For a while, you watch him, the tension in his face melting away as sleep takes over.
And in that quiet moment, with the soft hum of the rain outside and the warmth of his presence beside you, something shifts.
You open your eyes to find yourself tucked into the comforter of a bed you never thought youâd ever lie in again. The unfamiliar weight of the blankets is warm against your skin, but it takes a moment for you to orient yourself. The room is dim now, the last traces of sunlight gone, replaced by the faint glow of the bedside lamp.
The house is silent, and most notably, Jaeyun is no longer where you left him.
A faint pang of concern rises in your chest as you sit up, running a hand through your hair. He was feverish just hours ago, barely coherent. The fact that heâs no longer in bed is enough to pull you out of the comfort of his room.
You step into the hallway, glancing around. The living room is just as still and empty as it was when you first returned this morning, the silence almost oppressive.
Then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot it: the familiar glow spilling out from under the door to Jaeyunâs office.
You narrow your eyes. Donât tell meâŠ
You walk toward the door, heart sinking with every step. Pushing it open slightly, you find him perched over his laptop, his face illuminated by the screen. His fingers move swiftly across the keyboard, his focus unbroken. He didnât even bother changing out of the clothes he slept in, the faint flush on his cheeks a reminder that heâs still sick.
"Jaeyun," you say, your voice sharper than you intended.
He startles slightly, his gaze flicking up to meet yours. For a moment, he looks almost guilty, but the expression is fleeting. His face hardens, and heâs back to his usual selfâdetached, dismissive.
"What are you doing?" you demand, stepping into the room. "You should be resting."
"Iâm fine," he replies curtly, his attention already shifting back to the screen.
"Youâre not fine," you retort, your frustration bubbling over. "You had a fever this morning. You could barely sit up. And now youâre here, working as if nothing happened?"
He doesnât answer, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" you ask, your tone softening despite your anger. "Why canât you just take a break for once?"
"Because I donât have the luxury of taking a break," he snaps, his voice sharp. He glances at you briefly, his eyes glinting with something you canât quite place. "Not everyone can afford to stop when things get difficult."
You flinch at his words, but you refuse to back down. "Youâre not invincible, Jaeyun. Youâre sick. Pushing yourself like this is only going to make it worse."
For a moment, he says nothing. Then, with a heavy sigh, he closes his laptop and leans back in his chair. His face is pale, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced in the harsh light of the office.
"Why do you care?" he asks quietly, his voice devoid of its usual edge.
The question catches you off guard, and for a moment, you donât know how to respond. Why do you care? After everything, after the distance and the arguments, why do you still feel this pull toward him?
"Because someone has to," you say finally, your voice steady. "And whether you like it or not, that someone is me."
He blinks, clearly not expecting your answer. His expression softens, the usual mask of indifference slipping just enough for you to catch a glimpse of the man he used to beâor maybe the man he still is, buried under all the walls heâs built.
"Come on," you say gently, nodding toward the door. "You need to lie down."
To your surprise, he doesnât argue. He stands slowly, wincing slightly as he stretches. As he follows you out of the office, the silence between you feels less heavy, less hostile.
Back in his room, you watch as he climbs into bed, his movements sluggish. You adjust the blankets around him, your hand brushing against his briefly.
"Youâre stubborn," you say softly, a faint attempt at teasing.
He lets out a weak chuckle, closing his eyes. "Takes one to know one."
You smile despite yourself, stepping back toward the door to give him space. But before you can leave, his voice stops you.
"Stay," he says quietly.
You freeze, your hand still on the doorframe. âSo I can find you missing again when I wake up?â You joke, but you know it got lost on him when you spot the hint of guilt that colour his face.
"Just⊠stay," he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes open, and for a fleeting moment, you see something vulnerable in his gaze.
You hesitate, your mind racing. Despite the years of being his wife, despite all the public pretenses and shared spaces, Jaeyun has never asked you to stayânot like this.
"Okay," you say finally, your voice soft. You move back toward the bed, sitting gingerly on the edge, unsure of what to expect.
Jaeyun shifts slightly, making space for you. "Lie down," he murmurs, his tone almost⊠tender.
You blink at him, stunned, but something in his expressionâtired, openâcompels you to obey. Slowly, you lie down beside him, careful to keep a polite distance. The room is quiet, the sound of your breaths the only thing breaking the stillness.
But then you feel it.
His arm snakes around your waist, tentative at first but firm as it settles. You inhale sharply, your body stiffening under his touch. Despite being his lawfully wedded wife, whose only purpose, it seems, is to sit there and look pretty, Jaeyun has never once touched youânot like this. Not in an intimate setting. Not at all.
"Jaeyun," you whisper, your voice catching.
"Donât," he interrupts softly, his voice muffled against your shoulder. "Just⊠let me. Just for a moment."
You donât move, your heart racing as the weight of his arm presses against you, grounding you in a way you hadnât anticipated. His warmth seeps into you, a stark contrast to the cold distance youâve grown so accustomed to.
For a long while, neither of you speaks. The silence stretches, but it isnât uncomfortable. Instead, it feels like something fragile and unspoken is passing between you, an unsteady bridge forming where there had only been a chasm before.
"Thank you," he murmurs finally, his breath warm against your neck.
"For what?" you ask, your voice barely audible.
"For being here," he replies simply.
You close your eyes, your hand hovering uncertainly before resting lightly on top of his. "Get some rest, Jaeyun," you say softly.
His hold on you tightens ever so slightly, and for the first time, you let yourself lean into his touch. As Jaeyunâs breathing evens out and the warmth of his presence lulls you into stillness, you feel something unexpected stir in your chest.Â
Not hope, not yet.
You tell yourself not to expect too much. This could just be a one-off thing, and itâll go away just as quickly as it came, disappearing like so many other fragile glimpses of something more in your marriage.
Still, you stay still, letting the warmth of his touch seep into you, even as your mind tries to brace itself for the inevitable return to indifference. You tell yourself this means nothingâitâs just circumstance. Heâs disoriented, caught off guard by his own vulnerability.
But then your gaze drifts downward, and you find yourself puzzled. His left hand covers your own, his touch firm yet gentle, and youâre struck by the sight of his wedding ring etched tightly around his finger. The gold band catches the faint glow of the moonlight outside, its presence so sure, so constant, as if itâs always belonged there.
Your eyes drop to your own hand. The ring you once wore is absent, likely discarded at some point when you returned home earlier, leaving only the faint tattoo etched into your skin.
His fingers shift slightly, and you feel the rough edge of his thumb trace over the spot where your ring used to sit. The action is subtle, almost unconscious, but it makes your heart race.
Does he realise what heâs doing? Is it just a fever-driven habit, a thoughtless gesture? Or is there something more to the way his touch lingers there, his warmth seeping into the empty space where a symbol of your bond once rested?
You glance at his face, but his eyes are closed, his breathing soft and steady. He looks peaceful, almost childlike, so far removed from the sharp, composed man you know him to be.
You let out a slow breath, your heart conflicted. This moment feels too fragile, too fleeting, to hold onto. And yet, the weight of his hand over yours, the brush of his thumb against your tattooed ring finger, lingers in a way thatâs impossible to ignore.
Donât expect too much, you remind yourself, closing your eyes and letting your head rest against the pillow. But even as sleep pulls you under, the thought remains, a quiet whisper in the back of your mind.
The soft glow of morning light filters through the curtains, and you stir, slowly coming back to consciousness. Your first thought is that the bed feels strangely warm, a comforting weight anchoring you to the mattress.
Your second thought is that Jaeyun is surely gone by now.Â
But when you blink your eyes open, youâre surprised to find him still there, lying beside you. His head is propped up on one hand, his eyes watching you with an unusual softness. Heâs awake, fully present, and for a moment, you think you might still be dreaming.
"Youâre still here?" you mumble, your voice thick with sleep.
He smirks faintly, though thereâs a gentleness in his expression that you canât quite place. "Good morning to you too," he says, his tone light.
You push yourself up slightly, propping yourself on your elbows. "I thought youâd be gone by now. Off to work or something."
He chuckles softly, the sound low and warm. "I figured youâd think that," he says, his gaze steady on yours.
"Am I wrong?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
For a moment, he doesnât answer. Then, his lips twitch into the faintest smile, and he says, "I wanted to prove you wrong."
You blink, caught off guard by his words. "Prove me wrong about what?"
"That Iâd be gone when you woke up," he says simply. "I know thatâs what you expected. I wanted to stay⊠just this once."
His honesty takes the air from your lungs, and you find yourself staring at him, searching his face for some kind of ulterior motive. But all you see is sincerity, an openness that feels so unlike him it almost makes you uncomfortable.
"Why?" you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
He shrugs, his expression faltering slightly. "No reason.â
The words hang between you, fragile but significant. You donât know how to respond, your heart warring with a mix of emotionsâhope, skepticism, confusion.
"Jaeyun," you begin, your voice uncertain, "are youâ"
"Donât read too much into it," he interrupts gently, his gaze shifting away for a moment. "I just⊠wanted to be here. Itâs the least I can do in return for taking care of me last night. Thatâs all."
You nod slowly, unsure of what to say. It feels like thereâs more he isnât saying, but for now, you let it be.
"Well," you say, clearing your throat to break the tension, "you succeeded. I didnât think youâd still be here, but you are."
He smiles faintly, the corners of his mouth lifting just enough to make your chest tighten. "Good," he says, his tone soft.
The two of you lapse into silence, the morning light growing brighter as it fills the room. Strangely, the quiet between you isnât heavy or suffocatingâitâs almost comfortable.
And that scares you.
The late morning sun filters through the curtains, casting soft streaks of light across the living room. Youâre perched on the couch, a mug of tea warming your hands, and for once, the house doesnât feel so empty. Itâs quiet, but not the cold, distant kind of quiet youâve grown used to. This quiet feels⊠peaceful.
Jaeyun is in the kitchen, rummaging through drawers in search of something. The sound of clinking silverware drifts into the living room, and you canât help but smile faintly at his muffled muttering.
"Youâve been in there for ten minutes," you call out. "What are you looking for?"
"Nothing," he replies, his tone nonchalant, though itâs clear heâs lying.
A moment later, he emerges with a slightly triumphant expression, holding up a mismatched pair of chopsticks. "Found them."
You raise an eyebrow. "Were we missing chopsticks?"
He shrugs, sitting down beside you on the couch. "Apparently. But not anymore."
Itâs such a mundane moment, so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and yet it feels monumental. Jaeyunâyour distant, often aloof husbandâsitting beside you, chopsticks in hand as if this is the most natural thing in the world.
"So," you say, tilting your head to look at him, "youâre really not going to work today?"
He leans back against the couch, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Called in sick," he says simply.
Your eyes widen slightly. "You did what?"
He glances at you, a faint smirk playing on his lips. "You heard me. Just one day. I figured the world wouldnât end if I wasnât at my desk for twenty-four hours."
The admission surprises you more than youâd like to admit. "You? Calling in sick? Are you sure youâre not actually still feverish?"
He chuckles softly, shaking his head. "I just⊠thought it might be nice to stay home. Spend the day here."
The words are casual, but they hit you with unexpected weight. He doesnât say it outright, but you can tell he means with you.
The day unfolds in a series of small, quiet moments.
You make lunch togetherâor rather, you try to make lunch while Jaeyun critiques your cooking with a faint smirk that earns him a flick of flour to the face. He retaliates by stealing a bite of your eggs before it even makes it to your plate.
Later, you find yourselves sitting on the floor, a forgotten deck of cards between you. The game dissolves into laughter when Jaeyunâs competitive streak makes him accuse you of cheating, though you both know heâs just annoyed that youâre winning.
At some point, he drags you to the couch, insisting you watch an old movie he loves. The two of you sit side by side, shoulders brushing, as the black-and-white film flickers across the screen.
The golden hues of sunset stream through the kitchen windows as you both sit at the table, sipping tea after finishing the leftovers from lunch. The warmth of the day still lingers in the air, wrapping around the two of you like a cocoon.
As you lean back in your chair, savoring the moment, Jaeyun suddenly tilts his head, his gaze dropping to your hand.
"Whereâs your ring?" he asks, his tone casual, but his eyes sharp.
Your heart skips a beat. The question catches you off guard, and for a moment, you freeze.
"My ring?" you repeat, stalling for time as your mind races.
"Yeah," he says, his gaze still fixed on your bare finger. "Youâre always wearing it. Did you take it off for something?"
"I⊠I mustâve left it in the bathroom," you blurt out, forcing a smile you hope looks convincing. "Probably when I was washing my hands earlier."
He raises an eyebrow, his expression unreadable. "In the bathroom?"
"Yeah," you say quickly, nodding as you avoid his gaze. "Iâll grab it later."
Jaeyun doesnât say anything for a moment, his eyes lingering on you longer than youâd like. The air feels heavier, and youâre painfully aware of how obvious your lie probably sounds.
Finally, he leans back in his chair, shrugging slightly. "Donât forget it," he says, his tone light but his words carrying an undertone you canât quite place.
You nod, forcing yourself to relax. "Of course."
But as the conversation shifts and the moment passes, the weight of his question lingers. You glance down at your hand, at the faint tattoo where your ring should be, and a wave of guilt prickles at the edges of your thoughts.
Itâs not like you havenât taken it off before. In fact, you do it almost every day when youâre at home. Itâs become something of a ritualâthe first thing you do after stepping through the door. You slip the ring off your finger and leave it somewhere out of sight, free from its weight, if only for a little while.
The cool metal feels foreign against your skin most days, its presence a constant reminder of what your life isâor isnât. You never think twice about leaving it behind when youâre within these walls. Here, thereâs no one to see, no one to judge, no cameras waiting to catch a fleeting moment that could spiral into something scandalous.
When youâre not out and about, it feels pointless to keep it on. The ring, for all its shine, doesnât mean much in the confines of this house. Itâs more for show, a symbol of an agreement carefully constructed to protect your familyâs image and his.
Not a promise. Never that.
At least, thatâs what youâve told yourself. The habit of slipping it off has become so second nature, so tied to the quiet rebellion you allow yourself in these small, insignificant moments.
And yet, when Jaeyun notices its absence today, it feels like the weight of it hasnât truly left you. As if even without wearing it, the ring leaves its mark in more ways than one.
Heâs never noticed beforeâor if he has, heâs never said anything. So why now? Why today, of all days, when things between you feel⊠different?
Unlike you, he never seems to take it off. Itâs always there, snug around his finger, as if it belongs. The sight of it used to annoy youâhow he could wear it so easily, without it seeming to weigh him down.
Now, youâre not sure how it makes you feel.
You run your thumb over the faint tattoo on your ring finger, and force yourself to look away. Itâs just one day, you remind yourself again.
Just one day where things feel lighter, less complicated.
But you canât help wondering if Jaeyunâs question meant more than he let on. And you canât shake the feeling that this small, seemingly insignificant detail might mean more than either of you are ready to admit.
And like every other time you think things might start changing for the better between you and Jaeyun, youâre reminded once again why you donât hope.
You canât help but wonder how one person can do such a thingâbe kind and leave you helplessly yearning for one day, only to completely pretend you donât exist the next. Itâs as if heâs perfected the art of making you feel like you matter, just enough to keep you tethered, before yanking it all away again.
Heâs gone before you wake up, and by the time he comes home, itâs well past dinner, the faint smell of his cologne mingling with the crisp air he brings in from the outside world. Thereâs no more lingering conversations, no more stolen glances or hesitant touches. Itâs as though the day you spent together was a dream you woke from too soon.
You try to tell yourself it doesnât hurt, but it does. Every time he brushes past you without a word, every time his focus remains glued to his phone or laptop instead of on the life youâre supposed to be sharing, it stings.
One evening, as heâs seated at the dining table with his laptop, his face illuminated by the cold, blue glow of the screen, you bring it up.
"Thereâs a charity gala being held by the Park family this weekend," you say, your tone light, careful. "Weâre expected to attend together."
He doesnât look up, his fingers tapping steadily at the keyboard. "Hmm," he mutters absently, his tone distant.
You suppress a sigh, leaning against the counter. "Itâs important, Jaeyun. The Parks have always been close to your family, and you know how much these events matter to themâand to us."
"Iâll see if I can make it," he replies, his eyes never leaving the screen.
"See if you can make it?" you repeat, a note of irritation slipping into your voice. "Itâs not a suggestion, Jaeyun. Weâre supposed to go together."
He pauses for a fraction of a second before resuming his typing. "Iâll try," he says, his tone flat.
You swallow the lump in your throat, nodding even though he isnât looking. "Alright," you murmur, retreating to the safety of your room.
But deep down, you already know how it will play out. He wonât come. Youâll stand alone at the gala, wearing a practiced smile while the whispers swirl around you. And when you return home, heâll have some excuse waiting, polished and hollow, leaving you wondering why you even bother to hope.
And yet, against your better judgment, you do. You hope.
Youâd spent hours convincing yourself that he would come, that this time would be different. But as the car pulled up to the venue without him, the weight of the truth settled back onto your shoulders. Of course, he hadnât come. You knew it was too good to be true.
The Park familyâs charity gala is as dazzling as you expected. The grand ballroom is a sea of glittering gowns, tailored suits, and sparkling champagne glasses. Crystal chandeliers cast warm light across the room, illuminating faces that belong to the cityâs most influential.
As you make your way through the crowd, trying not to let your disappointment show, you almost immediately feel the weight of eyes on you.Â
People glance at the space beside youâempty, conspicuously so. The absence of Jaeyun is louder than any announcement, a glaring reminder of how alone you are in this marriage.Â
"Sheâs here alone again," someone whispers as you pass.
âWhereâs Jaeyun?" one woman asks lightly, her tone laced with curiosity.
You hold your head high, your practiced smile in place, though the sting of their words burns beneath your skin. You knew this would happen. You prepared yourself for it. And still, it doesnât make it any easier.
An hour passes, and youâve made your way through polite conversations and obligatory greetings. You exchange small talk with acquaintances and pose for photographs, every move calculated to maintain the image of perfection.
And before you know it, you find yourself at the bar, nursing a glass of champagne as the evening drags on. The music is lively, couples twirling across the dance floor, and yet you canât shake the gnawing feeling of being out of place.
"Mrs. Sim," a warm voice calls out. Itâs smooth, familiar, and you turn to see Justin Park standing beside you. The eldest son of the Park family is the picture of charm, his tailored suit impeccable, his smile easy.
"Justin," you greet him with a smile, grateful for the familiarity. "Itâs been a while."
"It has," he agrees, taking your hand briefly in his. "I was beginning to think youâd forgotten about us."
You laugh softly, shaking your head. "Never. The Parks throw the best events, after all."
"Flattery will get you everywhere," he teases, his grin widening.
The conversation flows effortlessly, his presence offering a welcome reprieve from the otherwise stifling evening. Justin has always had a way of making people feel at ease, and for the first time tonight, you feel a small sense of relief.
But youâre not oblivious to the glances. You can feel the eyes of the room on you, hear the faint murmurs growing louder as the two of you continue talking. Justin doesnât seem to noticeâor if he does, he doesnât care.
He takes the seat beside you, signaling for a drink. "No Jaeyun tonight?"
You let out a soft laugh, though thereâs no real humour in it. "Work," you say, the excuse slipping off your tongue before you can stop it.
Justin raises an eyebrow, his expression thoughtful. "Work seems to take up a lot of his time."
You glance at him, unsure how to respond. Thereâs a knowing look in his eyes, but he doesnât press further. Instead, he shifts the conversation to lighter topics, asking about your family, your thoughts on the gala, your latest endeavours.
But as the conversation continues, you become more and more aware of the glances being cast your way. The whispers. The pointed stares.
It doesnât take long to piece together whatâs happening.
The perfect wife of Sim Jaeyun, left alone at a gala, seen laughing and chatting with Justin Parkâeldest son of the host family, no less. The headline practically writes itself.
You excuse yourself politely, leaving Justin with a gracious smile as you slip away to the powder room. Your heart pounds as you grip the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. The whispers have always followed you, but this feels different.
When you return to the ballroom, the tension is palpable. More eyes follow you now, the buzz of speculation almost tangible. You press on, keeping your head high, your composure intact.
But inside, something breaks.
Youâd held onto hope, despite everything, that Jaeyun might show up, that he might stand beside you for once, silencing the whispers with his presence. Instead, his absence speaks louder than words ever could.
The night drags on, and by the time you leave, the damage is done.
When you arrive home, the house is dark, just as you expected. Jaeyunâs car is in the driveway, but the silence inside confirms what you already knowâheâs here, but heâs not really here.
You find him in his office, his laptop open, his face bathed in the cold glow of the screen.
"You didnât come," you say, your voice flat as you stand in the doorway.
He glances up briefly, his expression unreadable. "I told you I was busy."
"Busy," you repeat, bitterness creeping into your tone. "You couldnât even spare one evening? You didnât even try, did you?â
His jaw tightens, but he doesnât respond.
"Do you have any idea what tonight was like for me?" you ask, your voice rising. "Standing there alone while people whispered and stared? While they speculated about my marriageâand about Justin Park?"
At the mention of Justinâs name, Jaeyunâs gaze sharpens, a flicker of somethingâanger, perhapsâcrossing his face.
"Justin?" he asks, his tone clipped.
"Yes, Justin," you snap. "He was kind enough to talk to me while my husband couldnât even bother to show up."
Jaeyunâs eyes narrow, and for a moment, you think he might actually say something. But then he leans back in his chair, his expression closing off once more. "Iâm sure people will find something else to talk about tomorrow."
The dismissal in his tone is the final blow. You shake your head, the weight of the evening crashing down on you.
"Of course," you say softly, your voice trembling. "Why would you care?"
You turn and walk away, the sound of his keyboard clicking resuming as the door closes behind you. In the quiet of your room, you slip off your gown, your hands trembling as you let it pool around your feet.
You knew it was too good to be true. Jaeyunâs warmth, his attentionâit was fleeting, a momentary lapse in the distance that defines your marriage. And now, youâre left with the echoes of what might have been, wondering if it was ever real to begin with.
The days following the gala, marked by a heavy, stifling silence that seems to wrap itself around the house. You try to carry on as if nothing has changed, though itâs impossible to ignore the fact that Jaeyun is now home every day.
Itâs disorienting. Heâs always been someone who thrives on his demanding schedule, constantly in and out, using work as an excuse to avoid the cracks in your marriage.
But now, heâs hereâpresent in a way that feels more like a shadow than a comfort.
You desperately try to avoid him, sticking to your routines with an almost obsessive precision. You spend longer in the kitchen, longer in the guest room youâve claimed as your own, and shorter stretches of time in shared spaces like the living room. Yet, no matter how hard you try, itâs like his presence lingers everywhere.
In the mornings, you find him in the kitchen, sipping coffee at the island as if heâs always been there. The air is thick with unspoken words as you pour yourself tea, your movements stiff and deliberate. He doesnât say anything, doesnât acknowledge you beyond a glance, but the weight of his silence is deafening.
At night, itâs worse. You hear him moving about the house, the faint sound of his footsteps stopping and starting as though heâs unsure where to go. Itâs as if heâs waiting for you to confront him, to say somethingâanythingâbut you donât. You canât.
One evening, as you retreat to your room, you notice the door to his office is wide open, the lights dim. You hesitate for a moment, glancing inside, only to find him sitting at his desk, staring blankly at his laptop.
He doesnât look up, but his voice cuts through the quiet like a blade. "Youâre avoiding me."
You freeze, your fingers tightening on the edge of the doorframe. "Iâm not avoiding you," you lie, your voice steadier than you feel.
He lets out a dry laugh, though thereâs no humour in it. "Youâre not very good at lying."
You donât respond, your pulse quickening as the weight of his gaze finally lifts from the screen and settles on you. His eyes are darker than usual, a storm brewing behind them, but you refuse to let it intimidate you.
"Why are you here all the time now?" you ask abruptly, the question tumbling out before you can stop it. "Are you not needed at the office?"
He leans back in his chair, his expression unreadable. "Maybe I realised Iâve been away too much, Iâve decided to work from home for the time being."
You scoff, shaking your head. "Youâve always been away too much. Why does it matter now?"
For a moment, he doesnât answer. His gaze lingers on you, searching, as if trying to decide how much to say. "Because you were right," he says finally, his voice quieter but firm. "About a lot of things."
The confession catches you off guard, your carefully constructed walls trembling under the weight of his words.
"And what am I supposed to do with that?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. "I donât know. But Iâm trying."
You laugh bitterly, stepping back into the hallway. "Trying doesnât undo whatâs already been done, Jaeyun."
"I know," he says softly, almost to himself.
You leave before he can say anything more, retreating to your room and shutting the door behind you. The house falls silent again, but it feels more suffocating than ever.
The knock at the door is sharp, insistent, cutting through the quiet of the night like a blade. You hesitate, your book slipping from your hands onto the couch.Â
Itâs lateâtoo late for anyone to show up unannounced. The second knock is harder, more aggressive, and the urgency in it sends a chill down your spine.
Jaeyunâs office light is still on, but the house is otherwise silent. You glance down the hallway, half-expecting him to emerge and handle it, but when he doesnât, you steel yourself and head for the door.
Justin Park stands on your doorstep, his usually composed face marred by a split lip and a bruise darkening his cheek. His suit jacket is gone, his shirt wrinkled and bloodied, and his eyes burn with a fury youâve never seen before.
You swing the door open, your voice trembling. "Justin? What happened to you?"
He steps inside without waiting for an invitation, his movements stiff and pained. "Whereâs your husband?" he snaps, his voice low and dangerous.
"Whatâwhat are you talking about?" you stammer, closing the door behind him as he staggers into the living room.
"Get Jaeyun on a leash," he growls, turning to face you. His eyes are blazing, his anger palpable. "Because if this is how he handles things, youâre going to have bigger problems than rumors about us."
You stare at him, your mind struggling to catch up. "Jaeyun? What does he have to do with this?"
Justin lets out a harsh laugh, though thereâs no humor in it. He presses a hand to his side, wincing as he moves. "You really donât know, do you?"
"Your husband sent his men after me," he growls, his voice dripping with anger. "Three of them cornered me at the bar tonight. Told me I needed to stay away from you. When I didnât back down, they made sure I 'got the message.'"
The blood drains from your face as you take in his bruised cheek, the torn fabric of his shirt. "Jaeyun⊠he wouldnâtâ"
"Wouldnât he?" Justin snaps, his eyes blazing. "You think he didnât know exactly what he was doing? He made it very clear who was behind it."
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. This couldnât be true, could it? Jaeyun, who has spent years pretending you donât exist, who didnât even bother to show up at the gala, suddenly cared enough to orchestrate this?
You swallow hard, your hands trembling as you step closer. "Justin, Iâm so sorry. I didnâtâ"
"Donât apologise for him," Justin interrupts sharply, his gaze softening slightly as he looks at you. "This isnât your fault. But you need to talk to him. Make him understand that this isnât how you fix things."
You nod slowly, your mind spinning. "Let me get you some ice," you say, moving toward the kitchen.
"Donât bother," Justin says, shaking his head. "I just came to let you know what happened. Whatever you do with this information is up to you."
"Justinâ"
"Take care of yourself," he says, cutting you off as he heads toward the door. He pauses, his hand on the doorknob, and glances back at you. "You deserve better than this."
The sound of the door shutting behind Justin reverberates through the house like a final gavel in a court sentencing. You stand frozen, trying to collect yourself, when you hear itâthe unmistakable sound of Jaeyunâs footsteps behind you.
"Who was that?" Jaeyunâs voice is calm, almost indifferent, but thereâs a sharpness beneath it that makes your skin crawl.
You turn slowly to face him, your anger simmering just beneath the surface. "You already know who it was."
His gaze darkens, his expression unreadable. "And why was he here?"
You scoff, crossing your arms. "Why do you think? He came to show me the bruises your men left on him. Did you send them, Jaeyun?"
Jaeyun doesnât flinch. Instead, he leans against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "He needed to understand his place," he says flatly.
"His place?" you echo, your voice rising. "You sent your men to beat him up over a conversation? Whatâs wrong with you?"
Jaeyun straightens, his eyes flashing. "He was disrespecting our marriage."
You stare at him, stunned for a moment before letting out a bitter laugh. "Disrespecting our marriage? What marriage, Jaeyun? The one youâve ignored for years? The one you couldnât even show up to defend at the gala?"
He steps closer, his voice sharp. "Donât twist this. You were out there talking to him, laughing with him, while people whispered about you. About us."
"Why does it matter to you anyway?" you snap, your anger spilling over. "You donât see this arrangement as anything more than a convenience. Why do you care if I was talking to Justin or not?"
"Because it reflects on me," he fires back, his voice hard. "On my family. On my name."
You flinch at the bluntness of his words, your chest tightening. "So thatâs all this is to you? Image? Reputation?"
He clenches his jaw, his hands curling into fists at his sides. "You donât understand."
"No," you shoot back, your voice breaking slightly. "I donât understand. Because you donât let me. You donât let me in, Jaeyun. And then you act like you have the right to control me when Iâm just trying to survive this sham of a marriage."
His expression falters for a moment, something flickering in his eyesâguilt, regret, angerâbut itâs gone as quickly as it appeared.
"You donât know Justin Park," he says, his tone cold. "Not like I do. Itâs best you stay away from him."
"And you think I know you?" you ask, your voice trembling with fury. "Maybe itâs you I should be staying away from."
The words hit him like a slap, and for a moment, heâs silent. The tension between you is suffocating, the weight of everything left unsaid crushing down on both of you.
Finally, he exhales, his voice quieter but no less sharp. "This isnât about me."
"Itâs always about you, Jaeyun," you reply, shaking your head. "Your name. Your image. Your pride. But what about me? What about what I want? Or do I not even factor into this equation anymore?"
His silence is answer enough.
You turn on your heel, your chest tight as you storm down the hallway, leaving him standing there in the suffocating silence. Your footsteps echo through the house, but his donât follow.
In your room, you sit on the edge of the bed, your hands trembling as you press them against your temples. Justinâs words replay in your mind: You deserve better than this.
And for a moment, you wonder if heâs right.
The thought comes to you slowly, quietly, like the first ripples of a tide that eventually swallows the shore. Divorce. You roll the word around in your mind, tasting its finality, its promise of freedom, and the bitter pang of everything it would mean.
For so long, it felt like an impossible idea, a step too drastic to even consider. You told yourself it wasnât an optionânot with the intertwined fates of your family and Jaeyunâs. Not with the whispers that would follow you for years, the headlines that would smear your name.
But now, as you sit alone in the dim light of your room, the faint murmur of Jaeyunâs movements down the hall a constant reminder of how broken things are, it doesnât feel impossible anymore.
It feels inevitable.
Your mind drifts back to the last few months, to the endless cycle of hope and disappointment. For every fleeting moment of warmth from Jaeyun, thereâs a cold wall waiting to slam back down, leaving you questioning your worth, your sanity.
You deserve better than this.
Do you?
The idea both frightens and exhilarates you. To walk away, to sever the ties that have bound you for so long, feels like a leap into the unknown. What would your life look like without Jaeyun? Without the expectations and pretenses that have consumed you?
Your thoughts turn to your family. You know the sacrifices they made, the desperation that led to this marriage in the first place. For so long, you told yourself you couldnât leave because they needed you to stay. But now, with their business stable and the weight of the Sim familyâs influence less critical than it once was, you wonder if youâve been clinging to that excuse simply because itâs easier than facing the truth.
The truth is, youâve been afraid. Afraid of the fallout, of the shame, of the unknown. Afraid that walking away would mean admitting failureânot just to your family or society, but to yourself.
But as you sit there, the faint hum of the world outside filtering through the window, you realise something else: staying is its own kind of failure.
You press your hands to your face, breathing deeply as you let the thought settle over you. Divorce. It feels heavy, like a word too big for your chest to hold, but also strangely freeing.
You donât make the decision tonight. But for the first time, you allow yourself to think about it, to imagine a life where the weight of this marriage is lifted, where you can breathe freely again.
But while the thought of it doesnât feel impossible, it doesnât feel like hope either.
Not the kind of hope you would feel when the coldness between you and Jaeyun would melt for a day or two, his rare gestures of warmth thawing the ice between you before it inevitably froze over again. Not the kind of hope you would feel when you allowed yourself to dream of a happy marriage with him, only to wake up to the nightmare of its absence.
This doesnât feel like hope.
It feels like resignation. A quiet acceptance of the reality youâve been avoiding for years. But even as the word divorce lingers in your mind, whispering promises of freedom and relief, thereâs something else that you canât seem to ignore.
Even after everythingâafter the indifference, the distance, the way he treats you like an afterthoughtâyou canât deny the feeling that has rooted itself so stubbornly in your chest.
You love him.
It feels absurd, almost laughable, to admit it even to yourself. How could you love someone who has hurt you so thoroughly, someone who has made you feel invisible in a marriage that he vowed to protect? And yet, the truth is undeniable.
You love him.
You love him in the quiet moments when his mask slips, and he shows glimpses of the man you thought he could be. You love him in the memories of the rare times he made you feel seen, however fleeting they were. You even love him in the ache of longing, in the endless hope that maybe, just maybe, heâll come back to you in the way youâve always wanted him to.
Itâs maddening. Itâs painful. And itâs real.
The thought makes your chest tighten, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. How can you even think of divorce when your heart refuses to let go? When a part of you still clings to the idea that something salvageable remains between you?
You press your fingers to your temple, willing the thoughts to quiet, but they donât. Instead, they linger, heavy and unrelenting, as the faint sounds of Jaeyun moving about the house reach your ears.
You love him. Despite everything. And maybe thatâs the worst part of all.
You decide that youâll never be able to come to a conclusion as long as youâre stuck in this house, surrounded by everything that reminds you of him. The walls feel like theyâre closing in, every corner holding fragments of a life youâre not sure you can continue living. His cologne lingering in the hallways, the faint indent of his weight on the sofa, the silent hum of his presenceâall of it suffocates you.
So, you do the only thing you can think of. You pack your bags.
You donât give yourself time to overthink it. A small overnight bag is enough; you donât even care if youâve forgotten something. The urgency to leave, to breathe, to escape the weight of him, pushes you forward.
You donât bother texting or calling Wonyoung or Sunghoon first. Sheâs your best friend and heâs your brother. You trust that theyâll understand. Frankly, you donât care if youâre interrupting something. You just want out of this house.
When you step out into the cool evening air, the weight on your chest lifts ever so slightly. You pull your coat tighter around you and get into the car, gripping the steering wheel as if itâs the only thing anchoring you.
The drive to Wonyoungâs is a blur, the city lights flashing past your windows like fleeting memories. You donât know what youâre going to say when you arrive, but you trust that sheâll take one look at you and know. She always does.
Your grip tightens on the steering wheel, knuckles white as you try to focus on the road and not the storm brewing inside your mind. But as you take a glance at your rear-view mirror, a flicker of unease slithers into your chest.
The car behind you has been following you for far too long.
At first, you brush it off as coincidence. Itâs a city, after all, and traffic can be unpredictable. But the longer you drive, the more you notice the pattern. Every turn you make, every lane changeâit mirrors your moves with eerie precision.
Your chest tightens, and your breath comes a little faster. You test the waters, making an abrupt turn onto a side street. The car behind you follows.
Panic starts to creep in, and your mind races with possibilities. Who would follow you? And why?
Your foot presses harder on the accelerator, your heart pounding as the car behind you matches your speed. You weave through the streets, your mind screaming for clarity, for an explanation. But none comes. The only thing that matters is the need to escape.
As you merge onto a less busy road, the car behind you inches closer, its headlights glaring in your rear-view mirror like eyes boring into your soul. You push the accelerator to the floor, the speedometer climbing as your car barrels down the road.
The high-speed chase feels endless, your pulse a deafening roar in your ears. You barely register the turns youâre making, the streets blurring together as you fight to stay ahead. But in your desperation, you take a corner too sharply.
The car swerves, tires screeching against the asphalt. The world tilts as your vehicle careens off the road, smashing into a lamppost with a bone-jarring impact.
Everything goes quiet.
Your head throbs, the airbag deflating in front of you. Smoke wafts from the crumpled hood, and your vision swims as you try to make sense of whatâs happening. Before you can gather your thoughts, the sound of approaching footsteps snaps you to attention.
You fumble with your seatbelt, panic surging as the car door wrenches open. A figure looms over you, silhouetted against the harsh glow of the headlights.
"Letâs go," a voice growls, low and urgent.
Before you can react, strong hands grip your arm, dragging you from the wreckage. You kick and thrash, your protests muffled by the haze of adrenaline and the ache radiating through your body.
"Stop fighting," the voice snaps, and you freeze, recognition dawning.
"Justin?" you rasp, your voice hoarse and disbelieving.
He doesnât answer, his grip on your arm tightening as he pulls you toward a waiting car parked just behind yours.
"What are you doing?" you demand, trying to resist despite the pounding in your head.
"Saving you," he bites out, his tone cold and unrelenting. "From yourself and from him."
The words send a chill down your spine, confusion and fear swirling in your chest. "What are you talking about? Let me go!"
But Justin doesnât falter. He opens the car door and all but shoves you inside before sliding into the driverâs seat and locking the doors.
"You donât get it, do you?" he says, his voice quieter but no less intense. "Youâre a pawn in his game, and heâs not going to let you go. Not unless someone forces his hand."
The engine roars to life, and the car speeds off, leaving the wreckageâand your sense of safetyâfar behind.
"Justin, what are you doing?" you whisper, your voice trembling as the weight of the situation presses down on you.
He glances at you briefly, his eyes dark and unreadable. "Making sure you donât go back to him."
Panic bubbles up in your chest, and you realise this night is far from over.
The warehouse is cold, damp, and utterly silent except for the faint hum of fluorescent lights flickering overhead. Your wrists ache from where Justin had bound them to the chair, though heâd been careful not to make it too tightâalmost as if he wanted to justify this madness to himself.
He paces in front of you, his movements restless, his face a storm of emotions. His disheveled appearance is a far cry from the polished, composed man youâd spoken to at the gala. Now, he looks unhinged, his sharp gaze flickering between intensity and something softer that makes your stomach churn.
"Why are you doing this, Justin?" you demand, your voice trembling but resolute. "What do you want from me?"
He stops abruptly, turning to face you. His lips twitch into a faint, humourless smile. "This isnât about what I want," he says quietly. "This is about whatâs right."
You scoff, your anger surging despite the fear gnawing at you. "Right? You call kidnapping me right? Youâre delusional."
He doesnât flinch at your words, instead crouching down to your level, his eyes boring into yours. "You donât understand, do you?" he says softly, almost pityingly. "Youâre a pawn in a much bigger game. Jaeyunâs game."
"And what does that make me in your game, Justin?" you snap, your voice sharp.
His jaw tightens, but he doesnât look away. "Iâm not playing games," he insists. "Iâm trying to show you the truth. Jaeyun doesnât care about youâhe never has. To him, youâre just another piece on the board, someone to control and manipulate to his advantage."
You glare at him, your hands gripping the edge of the chair. "And you think youâre any better? You think dragging me here, tying me up, and ranting about Jaeyun makes you some kind of saviour?"
His face darkens, and for a moment, you see a flicker of somethingâregret, perhaps, or guilt. "Iâm trying to free you from him," he says, his voice low.
"Free me?" you laugh bitterly, shaking your head. "Stop treating me as your moral compass. You know damn well this has nothing to do with saving me. You just want to use me to get back at Jaeyun."
Justinâs expression falters, his composure cracking. He stands abruptly, running a hand through his hair as he begins pacing again.
"Itâs not like that," he mutters, more to himself than to you.
"Then what is it, Justin?" you press, your voice trembling with both anger and exhaustion. "Because this isnât about me. This is about you and Jaeyun. And your obsession with him."
He stops pacing, his back to you. For a long moment, he says nothing, the silence stretching between you like a taut wire. Then, he speaks, his voice quieter, almost reflective.
"Jaeyun and I⊠weâve been at this for years," he admits, his tone tinged with something bitter. "University. Work. Every step of the way, weâve competed. Top marks, top internships, top investments. And every time I get close, he finds a way to edge me out."
You stare at him, your mind racing to process his words.
"Do you know how frustrating it is to always be second to someone who doesnât even care?" he continues, his voice rising. "He doesnât care about the people he steps on, the lives he ruins. He just takes. He took everything from meâand now heâs taken you too."
"Taken me?" you echo, incredulous. "This isnât some prize to win, Justin. Iâm a person, not a trophy for your petty rivalry."
He turns to face you again, his expression hard. "You donât understand. He doesnât deserve you. He doesnât even see what he has."
"And you think you do?" you snap. "Youâre not trying to save me, Justin. Youâre trying to hurt him."
Justinâs pacing grows more erratic, his voice rising as he spits out his frustrations. "He never cared about you," he snaps, his tone dripping with venom. "Sending men to beat me up because he canât even do it himself! Everything he does is about rubbing it in my face."
You flinch at the bitterness in his words, your breath catching as the room seems to grow colder.
"He couldnât even be bothered to show up at the gala," Justin continues, his voice cracking with anger. "But the moment he thinks Iâve crossed some invisible line, he sends his dogs after me. And you think thatâs about you? No. Itâs about me. About proving heâs one step ahead, always in control."
"Youâre wrong," you say, your voice trembling.
"Am I?" he counters, his eyes narrowing as he stares at you. "Think about it, Y/N. Think about the way he treats you. The way he treats everyone. Youâre just a piece on his board, another way for him to win."
You shake your head, tears stinging your eyes. "You donât know that."
"I know him better than you ever could," Justin growls, stepping closer. "Iâve seen it. Iâve lived it. Every move he makes, every decisionâitâs all calculated. And this? Sending men after me? That wasnât about protecting you. That was about humiliating me."
You bite your lip, refusing to let his words burrow deeper. "And what about you, Justin? Are you any better? Youâve tied me to this chair, dragged me into this mess, and youâre standing here acting like youâre doing me some kind of favour."
"Iâm trying to show you the truth," he snaps, his tone raw.
"No," you say firmly, your voice shaking with a mix of fear and fury. "Youâre trying to one-up Jaeyun. This isnât about me, and it never was. Youâre just as obsessed with beating him as you claim he is with controlling you."
His expression falters for a moment, a flicker of guilt passing through his eyes. But then he clenches his jaw, his resolve hardening. "Iâm not like him," he insists, though his voice lacks its earlier conviction.
"Then prove it," you say, meeting his gaze head-on. "Let me go."
His jaw tightens, and for a moment, you think he might actually listen. But then he shakes his head, turning away from you.
"Not yet," he murmurs, almost to himself. "Not until Iâve made my point."
You swallow hard, your chest tightening as the reality of the situation sinks in. Justin isnât going to let you goânot until heâs done whatever it is heâs convinced himself he needs to do.
His fingers move swiftly over your phone, the glow of the screen illuminating his face. "Iâll show you exactly how little you mean to him. When he comes, he wonât even bat an eye at you. Itâll all be about himâhis pride, his control, his need to be the one in charge."
Your stomach twists, and you tug at the restraints on your wrists, panic building in your chest. "Justin, stop this."
He ignores your protests, holding the phone up so you can see the screen. He snaps a picture of youâbound to the chair, your face pale with fearâand then types out a message.
You: You want her back? Come and get her.
You watch helplessly as he hits send, the message shooting off to Jaeyun.
"Youâre insane," you hiss, struggling against the bindings. "This wonât prove anything."
"Itâll prove everything," Justin says, his smirk widening. "Youâll see. When he shows up, it wonât be about you. Itâll be about him. About showing me up. About proving heâs the better man."
"You donât know that," you snap, though your voice wavers.
"I know him better than you think," Justin says, his tone calm and measured. "He wonât even look at you properly. He wonât ask if youâre okay. Heâll only care about putting me in my place."
Your chest tightens, and for a moment, youâre not sure what to believe. The man in front of you is unhinged, but his words strike a chord of doubt you canât entirely ignore.
Justin steps back, his confidence radiating as he pockets his phone. "Youâll see soon enough," he says simply. "And when he comes, when he proves me right, youâll finally understand who Jaeyun really is."
You glare at him, your heart pounding as you pull against the bindings. "Youâre delusional," you spit.
"Am I?" he asks, his smirk unwavering.
The room falls into a tense silence, the weight of his words hanging over you like a dark cloud. You can only pray that heâs wrong, that Jaeyun will comeânot because of pride or rivalry, but because somewhere, buried deep within his frozen heart, thereâs a small warmth that still holds you in it.
But as the minutes tick by, the doubt Justin planted in your mind begins to grow.
The memories swirl in your mind, colliding with Justinâs words like pieces of a puzzle you wish didnât fit. Youâve always told yourself that Jaeyunâs indifference was a defence mechanism, a way to protect himself from something deeper. But what if it wasnât? What if Justin is right, and everything youâve clung to was just wishful thinking?
"Youâre thinking about it, arenât you?" Justinâs voice cuts through your thoughts, smug and sharp. He leans against the wall, arms crossed, watching you with a knowing look. "Wondering if Iâm right. Wondering if heâll even come."
"Shut up," you snap, though your voice lacks its usual strength.
"I donât blame you," he says, shrugging. "Heâs made you doubt yourself. Doubt him. Thatâs what he does, Y/N. He keeps you just close enough to keep you hoping, but not close enough to let you in. And when he does come, itâs never for you. Itâs for himself."
You shake your head, refusing to let him poison your mind any further. "You donât know what youâre talking about."
"Donât I?" he counters, raising an eyebrow. "Then why are you here, Y/N? Why arenât you at home with a husband who loves and protects you? Why are you the one who always has to wonder if you even matter to him?"
Tears sting your eyes, but you blink them away, refusing to let him see you break. "Youâre only saying this because of your hatred for him. You donât care about me. Youâre just as bad as him."
Justinâs smirk fades, his jaw tightening. "Maybe I am," he admits. "But at least Iâm honest about it. Can you say the same for him?"
The sound of your phone buzzing on the table snaps both of you to attention. Justin picks it up, glancing at the screen with a satisfied grin.
"Looks like he got my message," he says, holding up the phone so you can see Jaeyunâs reply:Â
Jaeyun: Where is she?
Jaeyun: Fucking bastard, I swear if you so lay a single finger on her Iâm going to kill you.
Justin tosses the phone back onto the table and crosses the room to face you. "This is it," he says, his voice dripping with confidence. "When he gets here, youâll see exactly what Iâve been trying to tell you."
You swallow hard, your heart pounding as the weight of the situation sinks in. The doubt, the fear, the flicker of hope you canât quite extinguishâit all swirls together as you wait for the man youâve spent years trying to understand to finally show his hand.
The silence in the warehouse is shattered by the sharp screech of tyres outside, the deafening sound of a car coming to an abrupt halt. Justinâs smirk falters slightly, though he quickly masks it, his eyes darting to the door.
Moments later, it bursts open with a crash, and Jaeyun strides in, his suit dishevelled, his tie loosened as if heâd rushed to get here. His eyes immediately scan the room, landing on youâbound, frightened, but alive. His expression hardens, the sharpness in his gaze like a blade cutting through the tension.
âLet her go,â Jaeyun growls, his voice low and dangerous.
Justin steps forward, placing himself between you and Jaeyun, his smirk widening again as if to taunt him. âSo predictable,â Justin sneers. âYou just couldnât resist, could you? I knew youâd come running.â
âIâm warning you, Justin,â Jaeyun snaps, his fists clenched at his sides. âLet her go.â
Justin chuckles, shaking his head. âYou think this is about her? Itâs always been about us. About showing you that youâre not invincible, that youâre not always in control.â
âIs that what this is?â Jaeyun spits, his voice rising. âA desperate attempt to prove something to yourself? Youâre pathetic.â
Justinâs expression darkens, and he steps closer to Jaeyun, his movements quick and aggressive. âPathetic? Youâre the one who couldnât even be bothered to care about her until now! Donât act like youâre some hero. You donât even love her.â
âYou have no idea what I feel for her.â Jaeyun bites back, his voice trembling with restrained fury.
The words hang in the air, and for a moment, Justin seems taken aback. But then he scoffs, his confidence returning. âWords, Sim. Just words. But actions always speak louder.â
Before you can process whatâs happening, Justin lunges, his fist aimed directly at Jaeyun. The sound of the impact is sickening, Jaeyun stumbling back as blood trickles from the corner of his mouth. But he doesnât back down.
âYou think this will prove anything?â Jaeyun snaps, his voice filled with fire as he ducks under Justinâs next swing. âYouâre nothing but a coward hiding behind your jealousy!â
Justin lets out a roar of frustration, his movements becoming more erratic as Jaeyun deflects blow after blow. Itâs brutal. You scream, your voice echoing as you plead for them to stop, but neither man listens.
The room is a whirlwind of chaos, with fists flying and grunts of effort and pain filling the air. Justinâs confidence is beginning to waver as Jaeyun fights back with an intensity that youâve never seen before. But the tide turns when Justin grabs a metal pipe from the corner of the warehouse, his face twisted with rage.
âStay back!â Jaeyun growls, shielding you as Justin brandishes the weapon.
Justinâs laugh is bitter, almost maniacal. âStay back? You think you can protect her, Jaeyun? You canât even protect yourself.â
Before you can register whatâs happening, Justinâs attention shifts to you. His gaze sharpens, his grip on the pipe tightening as he steps forward.
âMaybe sheâs the problem,â Justin sneers, his voice low and menacing. âMaybe I need to remind you whatâs really at stake.â
Your heart stops as Justin raises the pipe, his body coiling to strike. Panic floods your veins, your voice breaking as you scream, âJustin, no!â
But the blow never lands.
In an instant, Jaeyun moves, throwing himself in front of you just as Justin swings the pipe downward. The sickening sound of metal meeting flesh reverberates through the warehouse, and Jaeyun staggers, a sharp cry escaping his lips.
âJaeyun!â you scream, your voice raw with terror as he crumples to one knee, his arm instinctively clutching his side where the pipe struck. You struggle against the bindings, the rough material sinking deeper into your skin the more you tug on it.
Youâre helpless, watching the man you love cradle in pain at your feet.
Justin stumbles back, momentarily stunned by what just happened. The pipe slips from his grasp, clattering to the floor with a metallic clang. âWhy would youâ?â Justin begins, his voice faltering.
Jaeyun doesnât waste another second. Summoning the last of his strength, he lunges forward, delivering a final, powerful punch that sends Justin sprawling to the floor.
The room falls silent except for the sound of Jaeyunâs laboured breathing. He stumbles towards you, his movements unsteady but determined. âAre you okay?â he asks, his voice hoarse as he kneels to untie the ropes, his eyes scanning you for any sign of injury.
Tears blur your vision as you nod, your heart pounding in your chest. âYouâre hurt,â you whisper, your hands trembling as you reach for him.
âIâm fine,â he mutters, though the wince that follows says otherwise.
Justin groans from the floor, trying to push himself up. âThis doesnât change anything,â he sneers weakly. âYou donât care about her. This was about beating me, as always.â
Jaeyun doesnât even glance his way. Instead, he cups your face gently, his eyes searching yours. âAre you hurt?â he asks softly, his voice trembling with something you canât quite place.
âN-No,â you stammer, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze.
âGood,â he breathes a sigh of relief, his thumb brushing a tear from your cheek. âIâm sorry I didnât come sooner.â
Justinâs laugh is bitter and broken. âStill pretending to be the noble husband, I see. How long can you keep up the act, Jaeyun?â
Jaeyun turns to him, his expression cold and unyielding. âThis isnât about you, Justin. It never was. You wanted to prove I donât care about her, but youâre wrong. Sheâs the only thing I care about.â
The words hit you like a tidal wave, your breath catching as the weight of them sinks in.
Justin stares at Jaeyun, his confidence finally cracking as the realisation dawns. Heâs lostânot just the fight, but the twisted narrative he tried to build.
Jaeyun helps you to your feet, his arm wrapping around your waist as he steadies you. âWeâre leaving,â he says firmly, leading you towards the door without sparing Justin another glance.
As the warehouse disappears behind you, the cold night air hits your face, and for the first time in what feels like hours, you can breathe again.
âJaeyunâŠâ you begin, your voice trembling as he helps you into the car.
âIâll explain everything,â he says, his tone soft but resolute. âBut first, letâs get you home.â
And as the car pulls away, you realise that for once, you believe him.
The drive home is silent, except for the hum of the engine and the shallow breaths Jaeyun tries to control. You steal glances at him from the passenger seat, your heart twisting at the sight of him wincing with every turn of the wheel. His shirt is stained with blood, his knuckles bruised and swollen, but his grip on the wheel is steady, determined.
âJaeyun,â you whisper, your voice cutting through the tension.
He doesnât take his eyes off the road, but his jaw tightens slightly. âI told you, Iâm fine.â
âYouâre not,â you argue softly, your hands wringing in your lap. âYou need to see a doctor. Your ribsââ
âWeâll deal with it later,â he interrupts, his tone firm but not unkind. âRight now, I just need to get you somewhere safe.â
The word safe settles heavily in your chest, and youâre not sure if it means the house you share or simply being by his side.
As you pull into the driveway, the reality of the night crashes over you. The headlights flick off, leaving you both sitting in the dark, the faint sound of crickets filling the air. You hesitate, unsure of what to say or how to move forward.
Jaeyun breaks the silence first. âLetâs get inside,â he says, his voice softer now, almost gentle.
You follow him to the door, his movements slower and more careful than usual. Once inside, he collapses onto the couch with a heavy sigh, leaning back and closing his eyes as if the weight of the world has finally caught up with him.
âLet me clean you up,â you say, your voice trembling as you move towards the kitchen to grab the first aid kit.
âYou donât have to,â he murmurs, but the exhaustion in his voice tells you he wonât fight it.
When you return, kneeling beside him, he opens his eyes and watches you silently. You avoid his gaze as you press a damp cloth to the cut above his eyebrow, your hands trembling slightly.
The room is quiet now, save for the faint hum of the fridge and the soft rustling of your movements as you clean Jaeyunâs wounds. His eyes remain fixed on you, studying every flicker of emotion across your face. He winces slightly as you dab a cut on his temple, but he doesnât pull away.
You break the silence first, your voice trembling but resolute. âWhy did you really come tonight, Jaeyun?â
He exhales deeply, the tension in his shoulders visible as he leans back against the couch. âYou know why,â he says softly.
âNo, I donât,â you reply, setting the cloth down. âI donât know why, I never know why. So, please, talk to me.â Your voice falters, the weight of the night catching up with you.
âI couldnât let him hurt you,â Jaeyun replies simply, his eyes fixed on you. âIt wasnât even a question.â
The sincerity in his voice makes your throat tighten. You pause, your hand hovering over the cloth as you finally meet his gaze. âWhy?â you whisper. âWhy now? After everything? Youâve spent so much time pushing me away, avoiding me like Iâm some kind of plague. And then tonightâŠâÂ
His jaw tightens, and he looks away, his expression unreadable. âIâve been avoiding you because itâs the only way I could keep you safe.â
Your brow furrows, confusion mixing with frustration. âSafe? Safe from what?â
âFrom me,â he says, his voice barely above a whisper. âFrom my life. From the kind of man I am.â
You freeze, the confession hanging heavy in the air. âWhat are you talking about?â
Jaeyun leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he clasps his hands together. âIâm not a good person, Y/N. I never have been. In business, in life, I do what needs to be done. I act with consequences in mind, and I donât regret it. But that means Iâve made enemiesâpeople like Justin, who would do anything to see me fail.â
You stare at him, your chest tightening as the pieces begin to fall into place.
âJustin isnât the first person whoâs tried to get to me through someone I care about,â he continues, his voice steady but filled with a quiet anguish. âHe wonât be the last. And the thought of you being dragged into thatâbeing hurt because of meâis something I couldnât, and still canât handle. So I distanced myself. I thought it would protect you.â
You shake your head, your voice rising with disbelief. âSo you thought ignoring me, shutting me out, was the answer? Do you have any idea how that made me feel? How lonely itâs been, living in this house with someone who acts like I donât even exist?â
His eyes snap to yours, and you see a crack in his armour. âI know,â he says, his voice breaking slightly. âI know I hurt you. And I hated myself for it every single day. But I didnât know what else to do. Loving youâit feels like giving you a loaded gun and hoping you donât get hurt because of it.â
The words hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you breathless. âLoving me?â you echo, your voice trembling.
Jaeyun nods, his gaze unwavering. âYes,â he says firmly. âLoving you, Y/N. Keeping my distance was the only way I know that Iâm capable of loving you. Because I know you deserve better than meâbetter than the life your parents and I have dragged you into.â
His words hit you like a blow to the chest, the rawness of his confession cutting through every wall youâve built. You stare at him, your breath catching as the weight of his emotions settles over you.
The cold distance, the avoidance, the rare moments of tendernessâit all makes sense now, in the most heartbreaking way.
âYou think loving me means pushing me away?â you whisper, your voice trembling with a mixture of anger and heartbreak. âDonât you think I should get to decide what I deserve?âÂ
He looks at you, his expression filled with regret and longing. âI didnât want to be selfish,â he says quietly. âI didnât want to keep you in a life where youâd always be a target, always be second to the chaos I bring. But tonightââ His voice breaks, and he takes a shaky breath. âseeing you like that, knowing Justin had youâI couldnât⊠I couldnât stand the thought of losing you. Not like that. Not ever.â
Jaeyun looks down, his hands clenching into fists on his knees. Heâs crying nowâfully, uncontrollably crying. âI didnât want to hurt you,â he murmurs, his voice trembling. âBut I didnât know how to keep you safe without hurting you eitherâŠâ
You stay quiet, mostly because you donât even know what to say. Part of you understands Jaeyun did what he thought was right, that he truly believed he was protecting you. But another part of you is just so angryâangry at the thought that he didnât trust you enough to make decisions for yourself, angry that he acted as though he alone could determine what was best for you.
But as you look at him now, shoulders hunched, tears streaming down his face, and barely able to catch his breath as he speaks, you falter. You see the pain etched into every line of his face, the raw anguish in his voice, and you know it hurt him as much asâmaybe even more thanâit hurt you.
When you donât respond for a long moment, Jaeyun exhales deeply, his breath shaky and uneven. âI wanted you to leave me on your own,â he admits, his voice breaking, âbecause I knew I could never leave you. But you were so stubborn. You stayed. Even after everything, you stayed.â
His words hit you like a blow to the chest, striking a nerve you didnât even know was exposed. The trembling vulnerability in his voice, the quiet admission of his fears, cuts through your anger and replaces it with something elseâsomething raw, aching, and painfully bittersweet.
âYou stayed,â he repeats, his voice barely a whisper, as though he still canât quite believe it. âEven when I gave you every reason to walk away. Even when I hurt you. And I couldnât understand why.â
âDo you want to know why I stayed?â you ask, your own voice trembling now as you search his face for the answers heâs yet to give.
He nods, his tear-filled eyes meeting yours, wide and filled with uncertainty.
âHonestly, Iâve been running away from this feeling, from this truth that I was never ready to face,â you begin, your voice wavering but steady enough to push through. âAnd that is, despite everythingâdespite every bone, every nerve in my body telling me to stop doing this to myselfâI hoped. I hoped that youâd prove me wrong one day. I hoped that if I stayed long enough, maybe youâd stop pushing me away and let me in.â
Jaeyun flinches, his expression crumpling under the weight of your words. âIâm sorry,â he murmurs, his voice cracking as fresh tears spill over.
The silence that follows is heavy, thick with tension, the air between you charged with everything unsaid. His hands twitch at his sides, as though he wants to reach for you but canât quite bring himself to do it. The hesitation in his movements is almost palpable.
âI thought if you hated me,â he says finally, his voice low and pained, âit would be easier for you to walk away. But you didnât hate me. You never gave up. And that scared me more than anything.â
Your voice trembles as you stare at him, the weight of the moment pressing heavily on your chest. âI do hate you,â you admit, the words falling like stones between you. âSo much.â
Jaeyun flinches as though youâve struck him, his breath hitching, and for a moment, he looks like heâs bracing himself for more. But youâre not finished.
âBut loving youâŠâ Your voice cracks, and you take a shaky breath, blinking away the tears that blur your vision. âLoving you hurts more than hating you.â
His head snaps up, his wide, tear-filled eyes locking onto yours. The vulnerability in his gaze mirrors your own, and the silence that follows is deafening.
âIâve tried,â you continue, your voice breaking under the weight of your emotions. âIâve tried to hate you, to tell myself that itâs easier, that itâs what I should feel after everything. But it isnât. Because no matter how much youâve hurt me, no matter how much Iâve wanted to walk away, I canât stop loving you. And that⊠thatâs what hurts the most.â
Jaeyunâs breath shudders, and for a moment, he doesnât move. You can see the hesitation in his movements, the way his hands twitch at his sides as if heâs fighting the urge to reach for you.
âIâm sorry,â he whispers again, his voice trembling. âFor all of it. For every time I hurt you, every time I pushed you away when all you ever did was stay.â
Your heart clenches at the rawness in his tone, the vulnerability heâs finally letting you see. You take a small step forward, the distance between you shrinking, and for the first time, you see the cracks in his carefully constructed walls crumble entirely.
âYou donât have to apologise anymore,â you say softly, your voice trembling with emotion. âJust⊠donât make me regret staying.â
Then, as if something inside him snaps, he steps closer, his trembling hands reaching out to cup your face. âI wonât,,â he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. âI swear to you, Iâll do everything in my power to make sure I never give you a reason to hate me again.â
Before you can say anything else, Jaeyun closes the remaining distance between you. His arms wrap around you, tentative at first, as though heâs afraid youâll push him away. But when you donât, when you melt into his embrace, his hold tightens. Even with the searing pain in his ribs, he presses his body against yours as though heâs terrified of letting you go.
The warmth of his touch is overwhelming, and you bury your face in his chest, your fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt. His heartbeat is erratic against your cheek, mirroring the rapid pounding of your own.
You tilt your head up to look at him, your breath catching as you see the intensity in his gaze. His eyes are filled with something youâve longed to seeâlove, raw and unguarded. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped.
âI donât deserve you,â he says softly, his voice thick with emotion.
âMaybe not,â you reply, a faint smile tugging at your lips. âBut Iâm still here.â
He leans in slowly, giving you every chance to pull away. But you donât. You meet him halfway, your lips pressing against his in a kiss that is as tentative as it is electrifying.
The world seems to fall away as his lips move against yours, soft and searching, as though heâs pouring every unspoken word, every buried emotion, into this one moment. His hand slides to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as the kiss deepens, a mixture of desperation and relief in the way he holds you.
When you finally pull away, breathless and overwhelmed, his forehead rests against yours. âI love you,â he whispers, his voice steady despite the emotion trembling beneath it.
The words hang in the air, soft but weighty, like a promise long overdue.
You nod, your fingers brushing against his cheek as you smile softly. Hearing those three words from him is something you never thought would happen, something youâd almost given up hoping for.
They settle in your chest, filling the void that had been carved out by years of distance and pain. And yet, they donât feel fleeting or uncertain. They feel real.
âI love you too,â you whisper back, the confession spilling from your lips without hesitation.
His arms tighten around you, as though anchoring himself to you, and in that moment, the weight of the past begins to fall away. It doesnât erase the hurt, the scars, or the battles youâve fought, but it lays the foundation for something new.
Something worth hoping for, worth holding onto.
The morning sunlight streams through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the bedroom. The faint chirping of birds filters through the open window, blending with the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. You stir beneath the covers, blinking against the golden light, and instinctively reach out.
Your hand brushes against Jaeyunâs, and his fingers wrap around yours reflexively. A soft smile spreads across your face as you realise heâs already awake, propped up on one elbow, his gaze fixed on you.
âGood morning,â he murmurs, his voice low and warm, carrying a hint of amusement as if heâs caught you in a rare, unguarded moment.
You smile, the simple greeting filling the room with a kind of light you hadnât felt in years. âGood morning,â you reply, your fingers brushing against the wedding ring that now sits firmly on your fingerâa symbol that, finally, feels like it truly means something.
Jaeyun leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. âYou looked peaceful,â he says, his fingers brushing your cheek. âI didnât want to wake you.â
You laugh softly, resting your hand on his chest. âYou canât just watch me sleep, Jaeyun. Thatâs⊠mildly creepy.â
His laugh rumbles in his chest, a sound youâve come to treasure. âFair point,â he admits, his eyes sparkling.
âDo you have any plans today?â he asks, shifting closer, his arm slipping around your waist as if itâs the most natural thing in the world.
You shake your head, laughing softly. âNot unless you count breakfast.â
He grins, the boyish charm you rarely saw before now shining through. âI was hoping we could spend the day doing nothing. Just⊠being here. Together.â
You nod, the simplicity of the suggestion warming you. âIâd like that.â
The morning unfolds with quiet moments that feel extraordinary in their ordinarinessâJaeyun making coffee, you teasing him about burning the toast, laughter filling the kitchen as you both try to perfect pancakes. Itâs these moments, you realise, that make a life worth living. Not grand gestures or elaborate plans, but the small, quiet ways you choose each other every day.
As the day stretches on, you find yourselves curled up on the sofa, your head resting on his shoulder while his fingers absentmindedly trace patterns along your arm. The television hums in the background, forgotten as you both bask in the peace you fought so hard to find.
The man beside you now isnât the distant, closed-off Jaeyun you once knew. Heâs present, attentive, and more open than you ever thought possible. It wasnât an overnight change, thatâs for sure. But somewhere along the way, you both chose to stop runningâfrom yourselves, from each other, and from the future you could build together.
What you have now feels special, priceless. You wouldnât trade it for anything in the world. Youâve learned, through pain and healing, that happiness doesnât come from wealth or success. True happiness comes from love.
The kind of love that makes you giddy inside.
The kind of love you once believed only existed in fairy tales.
The kind of love that everyone seeks but few find.
The kind of love youâve found with him.
They say if heâs not calling, itâs because youâre not on his mind. Once, you believed that. You let it eat away at you, let it shape your every thought, every quiet moment when his absence felt louder than words. You told yourself his silence was a choice, that his excuses were just another way to say you didnât matter enough.
But now, sitting beside him as the evening light filters through the curtains, his hand resting over yours, you realise how wrong you wereânot about the hurt, not about the cracks that formed between you, but about what lay beneath them. He wasnât running because you didnât matter. He was running because you mattered too much. And it took breaking everything apart for you both to understand how to rebuild it.
Your gaze falls to the tattoo on your ring finger, a faint mark that once felt like a brand tethering you to emptiness. Itâs still there, as permanent as the scars this marriage once bore. But now, itâs different. Itâs not a reminder of disappointment or neglect, not a mark of the silence that stretched between you. Itâs a symbol of endurance, of a love thatâs messy and flawed but undeniably real.
But youâve learned that love isnât about perfection. Itâs about showing up, about facing the hard truths and still choosing to stay.
âBusyâ may have once been his excuse. But now, âalwaysâ is his answer.
ăă Ü sorry for da late upload, practicals this week was too hectic :< for silly hoon girlies :0
rebđogs& ËáË đeedbacks
âsunghoonâ what are you doing? my parents will see us!â you hiss at him, giving him the look over your shoulders as your hands are already busy with the dishwashing.
sunghoon doesn't look the least bit fazed by your words. instead, he leans casually against the counter, his sharp features illuminated by the warm glow of the kitchen lights. his lips curls into a mischievous smirk as he tilts his head slightly, his dark eyes glinting with amusement.
âand if they do?â he teases, his voice low and smooth like velvet.
you shoot him another glare, but it lacks its usual intensity. sunghoon was insufferable when it came to obeying you, it's almost as if your instructions fall on deaf ears. âthey won't like it if we're too⊠close,â you whisper urgently, glancing toward the doorway.
âthat's unfair, and stupid,â sunghoon whines, he steps closer to you, standing just behind you. leaning forward, he whispers back, âcanât their future son in law be close to their daughter?â
your cheeks burn at his boldness, and you immediately turn back to the sink, furiously scrubbing a plate as though it had personally offended you. âstop being so cheeky,â you hiss, but your voice waver ever so slightly, betraying the effect he has on you.
ârelax, princess,â he chuckles, the sound of his laughter making your heart skip beats. but what he does next, sends a shiver down your spine. he moves even closer to you, ultimately wrapping his hands around your lower abdomen, resting his chin upon your shoulder.
âsunghoon!â you shriek, âcan you let me work in peace?â
âshh,â he murmurs, leaning down so his lips were near your ear. âiâm just helping.â
before you could finish, sunghoon reaches around you, his long fingers brushing yours as he picks up a wet plate from the drying rack. âdrying,â he said simply, his tone far too innocent for someone who had you blushing like this.
you shake your head, biting back a smile. âyouâre unbelievable.â
âand youâre adorable when youâre flustered,â he shoots back without missing a beat, making you groan in exasperation.
although you want to get used to this moment, to sunghoon holding you within his embrace and warmth, you want the clock to stop itself and freeze the time around the both of you. he brought smiles and giggles to your face so effortlessly each time, and it made you wonder if he'd like to do that the rest of your life.
but that's a question for tomorrow, for now, all you could tense about is your parents hustling in at any moment.
in an instant, you turn the tap water off, move the washed plates to the drying racks and turn to your annoying, yet lovely boyfriend. all the irritation that you prepared in your speech evaporates in the air like vapour, as soon as you meet sunghoons mellow eyes.
âenough now,â you gather yourself, softly pushing his hands away from your waist, âmy parents will me in any minute.â
he rolls his eyes at your statement, you both know it doesn't make any difference to park sunghoon, he just wants to cling to his girlfriend.
âso?â he cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, âim not going anywhere.â
you groan in frustration, your hands now resting on your hips as you face him, but the corner of your lips betrays the smile youâve been trying to hold back.
âsunghoonâŠâ you start, but his hand is already on your cheek, gently turning your face toward him.
âyou donât want me to go?â he asks, his voice low, teasing. and before you can even form a response, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips.
you gasp in surprise, but he doesnât give you the chance to push him away. his lips move slowly against yours, and he pulls back just enough to whisper between kisses.
âyou don't want me to go, do you?â he repeats, pulling you closer by your hips, once again snatching your next sentence to press the softest kisses on your lips. once, then twice, then scattering them all over your face.
you try to find your words, but the only thing that comes out is a breathless laugh. âi... iââ
he kisses you once more, his lips gently pressing against yours along with his body as he wraps you to himself, he moves his lips tenderly, before pulling away to leave you dizzy. âiâm not going anywhere, sweetheart.â another kiss follows, and your thoughts scatter.
âsunghoon, stop it.â you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper as he moves in again, kissing you once more.
but his playful smirk only deepens as he kisses you again, this time even more passionately. âstop? why would i stop when youâre so cute when you try to resist?â
your heart races, and youâre almost overwhelmed with how good he feels against you. Every kiss makes your mind blank, and the tension in your body melts away, but your thoughts struggle to hold on. you want him to let go and go away, but at the same time, you want him here with you forever âmy parents⊠theyâllââ
âtheyâll deal with it, love,â he whispers back in an urgency. within a split of a second heâs back on your lips, arms holding you close like a fragile doll made of glass. you hold onto him as well, smiling into the kiss, as you feel sunghoon smile back into it.
you almost lose yourself in the warmth of his embrace, your hands instinctively moving to wrap around his neck. but just as you begin to give in completely, the faint sound of footsteps echoing down the hall snaps you back to reality.
you pull away just slightly, breathless, and look toward the door. âsunghoon⊠seriously, theyâre coming.â
he looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but thereâs something tender there too. he leans forward again, kissing you once more, and then pulls back, his forehead resting against yours.
just as the footsteps intensify and stop outside the kitchen door, almost like magic sunghoon stands beside you, normally, without any part of him lingering on your body or face. âgood evening, sir!â he greets your dad with a coy smile.
âevening, young man,â your dad says in an uninterested tone, eyes narrowing, he asks, âi suppose your behavior towards my girl was apt, in the time we were gone.â
âof course,â he grins, taking a glance at you and then at your dad, before he blurts out, ânothing you need to worry about, sir.â
SYNOPSIS: You and Jake had one thing in common with each other, being number one in your class. It was something none in class cared about, except you two. It was been going on since middle school till your last year in high school, but what happens when the new exchange students set their eyes on you.
When the bickering between you and Jake stops, your attention is somewhere else. rather on someone else. Sim Jake is set on getting your attention back. One way or another he will get you, none can stop him.
(Synopsis) throughout university , you always had a crush on heesung which is your brother, jayâs , best friend. Jay and a few other of his friends are the popular kids in school. You thought heesung didnt think much of you except his best friends little sister, but⊠you thought wrong. (Inspired by endrama)
Lessarafim,newjeans,p1harmony,zerobase1 and newjeans
RELEASE DATE : 9 november 2024
will post a new chapter every thursday and sunday<3
currently ongoing
đżibaryâŠ
âïžTEASERâïž
profiles: BADDIES ON CRACKđ | highschool crushđ„
Chapter 1: who wants candy?
chapter 2: CHAT⊠i did itđ„
chapter 3: JUST ASK HER OUT
chapter 4: fit checkđ„
chapter 5: y/nseung for lifeâđŒ
Chapter 6: what just happened-
Chapter 7: soft launchingđ
Chapter 8:
(more chapters to come!!)
nanas love note: as promisedd!! Here is my first smauuu!! Thank you for 50 once again omgđ ily guys so muchđ a little fun fact, i was bored so i actually drew the outlines and i wrote the words ahahha
Twenty-four - a little of me,
warnings: slight mention of death and descriptions of grief etc..
Masterlist â¶ prev â¶ next
You had woken up feeling awful. It doesnât really come as a surprise not when these exact moments have been recurring like daydreams that you somehow swim through with a hazy mind and aching limbs. It all started with a slight cough and a runny nose at the beginning of the week, nothing that was too hard to handle for you. The weather was starting to turn crueler, your clothes layered more, thicker in fabric so when you woke up the very next day completely fine you had guessed that the seven cups of tea you had dawned throughout the previous day had surely done their magic.
You were so wrong.
Your body had decided to collapse on you in the middle of the day. Dizziness sneaking into your mind as if you werenât just running away from Sunghoon with a laughter so loud you were sure you were gonna turn someone deaf. Thankfully Jake was nowhere around to see you and as Sunghoon was fanning you while you lied down on one of the dressing rooms couches you had made him swear not to tell a soul about it â given his love to announce everyoneâs news like theyâre his own.
So, it didnât take you long to figure out thereâs definitely something wrong with your body, perhaps it was exhaustion yet no matter how many hours you manage to drown in sleep nothing seems to be helping. You make a mental note to get a checkup thinking it might be an iron deficiency or something along these lines.
And yet each day you open your eyes there is something else wrong with you. be your aching body or a scratch in your throat you canât seem to cough. Itâs torture and it feels like your body keeps toying between the line of being sick and healthy, not sure where to lean into more.
âJesus. You look awful.â Sunghoon comments as soon as you meet him in front of the elevator.
âYeah, what the fuck is wrong with your face?â Sunoo adds from beside him with a look of unrestrained disgust etched into his face.
âThanks for the vote of confidence guys.â You reply with a roll of your eyes, sniffling as you walk into the elevator, and they follow while the cold seems to trail as quickly swirling through the space, and you tighten your arms around your shaking body.
You should have taken a painkiller before leaving your apartment.
âDo you even have makeup on?â Sunoo asks, his disgust is washed away by a look of pure worrisome instead. Although the way itâs directed at you somehow feels offensive rather than warming.
âYeah. I have concealer on.â
âYikes.â Sunghoon coughs.
âMaybe you should try a different brand. You know something that actually covers your dark circlesâ Sunoo pouts, his eyebrows knitting in what seems to be pity as his hand rubs your shoulder soothingly. It takes a few counted seconds for you to register his words. The insult sneaked into it has rancor slipping into your feature just as vast as you squint your eyes at him.
âAre you worried about me or the brands of makeup I use?â
âYour makeup. Duh.â Sunoo rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone and Sunghoon snickers from beside you.
You think youâre aware that you donât look your best. Although to be quite honest youâre not as worried about your face as how the state of your body is stamping its anxiety deep within you. You donât get sick often, make sure to take care of yourself in that sense at least and the thought of being home, cuddled up in your bed with a snotty nose and a pounding headache isnât very exciting and nor do you wish for that to happen.
Youâre really praying to every fucking god that exists youâre not actually falling sick.
Youâll be fine though â or at least thatâs what you think. Thatâs what you keep praying for -
Please god please please please!!
At this point you have had your fair share of showing up to work half a mess a day then fully got it together the next day so a few of perturbed coated comments from Sunoo and Sunghoon arenât gonna bother you too much.
However, it does get to you when youâre face to face with Jay and Soojin - who seem to have tagged along after the two of them sharing a breakfast together - You donât think Jay has ever been this surprised or is he horrified? While looking at your face as he is right now. You blink at him and as his stare stretches a second too long you wonder if you have grown a third arm in the time you walked from the elevator.
âOh, you look...â he crosses his arms, his eyes sweeping over your figure as he tilts his head. As if finding a word to describe your state is harder than it appears to be ânot every good.â He settles with. Cringing at himself or at you. Youâre not very sure of anything anymore.
âFor fuckâs sake guys okay! I look like an ugly duckling I get it!â you exaggeratingly whine throwing both of your arms in the air as if it expresses your distress and throw yourself onto the couch with a dry sob and bury your face into one of the pillows. Nor your cry or attempt to suffocate yourself with the awful scent of fake leather seem to be working nor gaining you any grain of commiseration because Sunghoon starts cackling from behind you. Almost as clamorous as your sob.
âAww yn. Donât mind these silly boys. Theyâre just being dumb.â Soojin coos gently, sitting down next to you and turning you on your back and you welcome her with a pout that probably does resemble an ugly duckling.
âLike always.â She adds, raises an eyebrow at Sunghoon who shuts up almost immediately, his face turns expressionless in the blink of an eye, and he pretends to be busy examining the snack table. That is empty. while Jay looks away from you. With an awkward scratch to his neck, you could almost detect the wheels in his head finding error in his words.Â
âAre you sick?â She asks, tone much softer and clement as she moves her hand up and down your arm. You could stare back for a few silent minutes, mouth slightly agape at the power Seo Soojin seem to contain with merely existing.Â
You donât think you could ever make Sunghoon shut up this quickly even with the presence of weapons nearby (not that youâve ever tried. You definitely would never do such a thing).
âI think Iâm just a little tired.â you reply, remembering to close your mouth when it feels too dry.Â
âYou donât look a little tired though.â She rests the open of her palm on the skin of your forehead and you shiver âthankfully, you donât seem to have a fever.â
âI do have a bit of a headache.â You say, sitting up probably when you almost feel your body slipping down the couch.
âMaybe you should head home.â She rubs your shoulder soothingly.
âAnd do what?â
âRest.â Soojin blinks at you slowly as if the dumbest question has just tumbled out your mouth. You wonder if you have managed to lose braincells while growing a third arm.
âOh, Iâll be fine donât worry. Besides, I probably have so much to do and- âSoojin doesnât even let you finish turning her head away from you towards Jay. Yet her palm remains. Itâs warm against your shoulder in contrast to how freezing the weather outside is.Â
âJay, does yn have anything urgent today?âÂ
âNot really. Jakeâs schedule is very light these days and I could pretty much handle it on my own.â The response comes immediately that you have trouble keeping up, eyes darting between the two.
âGreat!â she turns to face you again; a smilemounts up her face and itâs somehow as warm as the heat of the missing sun âIâm getting you an uber and youâre going home to rest!â
âSoojin Iâm fine seriously. âOnce again, she doesnât give room for you to argue, your words â or rather complaints melting off your tongue when she stands up from the couch, pulling you up with her.
âYou owe it to yourself to take care of yourself yeah?â she says, and you hesitate for a few seconds, unsure of what to say back to such tenderness âwe need to remember to be gentle with ourselves too.â
âOkay.â You sigh and she smiles âIf I feel worse then Iâll leave!-â you add and her smile vanishes, replaced by the shaking of her head.
âJay.â She calls turning her face away from you and he straightens in his seat âcall jake and tell him that yn is taking the day off.â Jay obliges almost as forthwith as your exhale. With no questions asked and you could only stare between the two, an amused smile tugging at the edge of your lips with a bigger strive to balance on your feet.
As Jay brings the phone to his ear he seems to notice your eyes on him, however he doesnât seem to notice the sparkle that comes to life at witnessing affection tinting the air, at knowing there are deeper emotions between two people that they arenât as aware of.
âIvyâs the boss here. whatever she says, happens.â He says with a shrug, your eyes shift to Soojin, and you think your smile grows bigger as the slightest, lightest hue of pink settles upon her cheeks. It could be passed by as her red sweater bringing color to her face, the light of the room or maybe itâs the tint she applied carefully before leaving her house.
But you know, and she knows that such a display of sentiment comes from something a lot more cavernous and if not for her tugging you out the room while youâre still attempting to fight the decisions already made, youâd think youâre somehow intruding into a forbidden territory.
âThat guy is whipped for you.â you comment, bumping your shoulder into hers with a giggle.
âNo, heâs not.â Soojin denies, woven with stubborn rebuttal and a shake of her head âHeâs that way with everyone.â She adds and it comes out much softer. Like a hushed conviction.
âHe doesnât even listen to Jennie the way he listens to you.â your voice grows louder in strives to prove your truth and she shushes you when you pass by a group of staff members âand sheâs his actual boss!â you whisper yell.Â
âShut up your uber is almost here.â She chuckles tinting the air with sparkles of affection and it brings a warm smile to your face to witness such a tale.
âWhy does he call you Ivy anyway?â
âItâs my English name.â
âThatâs cute. You must be special.â You wiggle your brows at her and then a sneeze interrupts your teasing, followed by her giggle as she pushes you into the backseat of the uber.
âVery cute. Now go rest and if you need anything donât hesitate to text me.â She urges a warning in her gaze that displays her sincerity and perhaps you are a lot sicker than you thought or maybe your head hurts a lot more than when you first woke up because a very strange ache to pout and cry like a child almost takes over you.
Deep down within all the regrets and the shame you keep locked away, a strand of guilt remains there at all the times you were mean to her before. A part of you wishes you could blame your foolishness on the declining state of your health.
âThank you.â you tell her, and you think Soojin sees through it all and you think she knows youâre about to cry so in the next moment sheâs slamming the door shut and points to her ears with her index finger.
âI canât hear you!â her voice is muffled by the glass of the window and itâs more than ample room for your chuckles to fill the car and gains you a strange look from your uber driver.
On your way home a gentle rain grazes the rooftops across the city, and the sky remains gray even when youâre inside your apartment. You change your clothes and sneak into your very comfortable warm pajamas. You sniffle as you brew your close to 50th cup of green tea this week. Silence fills every corner and despite your throbbing body you realize youâre not sure what to do if youâre not working.
You have been working for as long as you remember, have taken up part-time jobs as soon as you were conscious enough to digest the fact that money was everything. Especially in your case so you always remembered to suck it up. Even when you were sixteen waiting tables in a shitty diner and your boss had thrown inappropriate comments your way daily. You sucked it up. and sure, you have had days off and you have fallen sick before, but itâs been so long. That you feel like a stranger in your apartment when itâs light outside, when your body knows you should be working.
That, accompanied by the fact that the silence gives voice to your thoughts, for your anxiety to bloom and before you gain enough power to shut it down you have already dived into them. Your mind drifting to all the events you have been too busy to think about.
Niki.
Jake
Niki
Jake
Niki.
You rub the sides of your head with your fingers and then youâre taking your hot cup of tea into your living room. You sit on your couch with a groan at the throb persisting in your limbs. You reach for your phone and take small sips of your tea when you dial the number of your friend.
âThick or regular?â Heeseung asks as soon as he picks up your call.
âUh-â you blink at the black screen of your tv âWhat are we talking about exactly?â
âSoy sauce.â He answers, the voice of strangers around him gives away his crowded surroundings.
âI didnât even know thereâs such thing as thick soy sauce.â
âApparently thickness is taking over the world. Thatâs why bbls are a thing yn.â you snort.
âMaybe you should consider getting one.â A clear offended gasp from Heeseung cuts through and for a moment you would think you have insulted the entirety of his family tree.
âOkay Iâm surrounded by soy sauce and youâre talking about how flat my ass is Iâm so overwhelmed right now.â The gravity coating every word of his has you bursting out in laughter âItâs not like Iâm getting backshots soon.â He adds and you choke on your laughter, your tea almost burns the skin of your thigh if you arenât careful enough.
âI will be the one doing backshots,â you can almost hear the prideful smirk in his voice.
âOkay moving on from you and your shots.â You snort sounding somewhere between disgusted and petrified âAre you at the supermarket?â you ask, placing your cup on the table and adjusting your legs on the couch.
âYeah. I forgot to make an order of Soy Sauce for the restaurant, so my dad is punishing me by making me go buy some.â
âYou seem to be having fun so is it really a punishment?â you chuckle, leaning your head against one of the pillows and for a moment your headache subsides for a bit. Heeseung hums an agreement.
âWhatâs up with you? you sound like shit.â He asks after a few beats of silence.
âThanks, I only heard that like ten times today.â
âAre you sick?â
âProbably. Iâm really overwhelmed right now too.â
âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â Unalloyed concern clads his tone, and you sink into quietness for a few seconds before sighing.
âIâm honestly still really worried about Niki.â You mumble.
âWhat did that fucker do?â The sound of a child crying rises in the background and your head slightly pounds at the noise.
âNothing. Iâm just worried about him. I know he said heâs gonna retake his tests, but he has never failed anything in his life Hee.â You lie flat on your back and the sound of crying grows louder âNever. Even when he was in and out of hospitals so I canât help but worry about him.â You add.
âYeah I know â hold on-â thereâs shuffling on the other line. Heeseungâs voice grows a tad further but still coherent enough for you to hear âHey can you stop being a little bitch?â The sound of crying abruptly stops and you blink rapidly at your ceiling with attempts to make sense of whatâs going on.
âOr go fucking cry and be a little bitch in a different aisle.â He adds and then thereâs an unsettling silence. It doesnât last long, and itâs interrupted by a loud wail followed by an ear piercing âMOM!!â
âKids these days am I right?â Heeseung says, voice clearer and tone nonchalant.
âHeeseung did you just call a kid a little bitch?â
âYeah. Anyways back to Niki,â you open and close your mouth a handful of times, closer to speechless but then youâre shaking your heard with reminders that this is Heeseung and at this point in your lives itâs little that surprises you with him.
âYeah anyways. I was wondering if you know anything about what's going on with him? Maybe he felt comfortable talking to you about it.â
âNot really. Heâs been acting the same too.â He replies and you faintly exhale. Feeling a little defeated and lost with what to do with your worry âIf youâre that worried about his grades dropping, I can talk to him about doing less shifts at the restaurant until his exams are over.â He adds with a hum, seeming a bit absentminded âI donât know if heâll be happy about it though.â
You try to let his words permeate your mind with inhuman effort and as you tilt your head at nothing in particular it takes you 10 seconds to comprehend what he just said. You sit up with confusion and then shock pushing you forward.
âHold on,â you suck in a breath and your brows scrunch âWhat do you mean shifts? Heâs been working at the restaurant?â
âShit yeah. itâs been a while now. You didn't know?â
âWhat the fuck? No I didn't know. Why would you give him a job Hee? You know his body canât handle it.â you berate, frustration woven in your tone.
âI donât fucking know bro. he told me he needed the money, so I gave him one.â
âDid he tell you what he needed the money for? He has been selling his paintings online why would he need more money out of nowhere.â You run your hand through your hair tiredly, your body growing hot and you arenât sure if its irritation manifesting in your veins or a fever.
âI really donât know yn.â Heeseung sighs on the other line âBut either way Iâll talk to him when he comes into work later. Donât worry.â
âThat would be good, thank you.â you reply, not worrying is an impossible task.
âOf course.â
âIâll talk to him about everything properly once Iâm over this cold or whatever it is. I donât want him to get sick.â You say falling back onto the couch and stretching your legs. They weigh heavy and your heart feels heavier in your chest.
âYeah, you better rest for now. Iâll talk to you later and text me if you need anything.â
âOkay.â
As soon as you hang up, your anxiety seems to have doubled, Like ghosts swarming by your feet and slowly it feels like theyâre taking over every cell of your essence. A strand of penitence comes to life in the midst of it all and you canât help but wonder if perhaps were negligent of Niki due to how messy your life has been these past few months. Did you not pay enough attention to his struggles? How long has it been and when did he ever need anything and didnât feel comfortable to tell you? Was there a stretching distance between you that you hadnât noticed?
The thought is terrifying to you, it shakes you from within and when you check the time on your phone, it feels like it hasnât moved ever since you stepped foot into your apartment. You close your eyes with a shuddered breath
Somewhere along the worries plaguing your mind like permanently sharpened needles and your hands digging for solution you manage to doze off on your couch. Curled with your knees held to your chest and wrapped with your arms. You arenât sure how long you slept. Itâs long enough for the rain to subside and short enough for the gray clouds to remain. The sky, mystified by the lack of light and night, is yet to unfurl.
The only reason thatâs strong enough to pull you out of your sleep is the sound of your doorbell reverberating through your walls. And at first you think itâs a part of your dream but youâre picking apples and theyâre crispy red and shiny but thereâs a dying fish by your feet and who the fuck is at your door?
You open your eyes with a croaky groan. Your head pounds with an even worse migraine and your stomach is clenching in excruciating building nausea. You sit up and if you thought you felt awful earlier then itâs nothing compared to this. Like every bone in your body is aching and your fingers itch with an urge like sneaking through your flesh and squeezing tight.
Your doorbell rings again and this time itâs repeated, wrapped in evident panic at the lack of response from you and you finally decide to move. Shuffling to your door and maybe you are still in a hazy dream because as soon as you open your door Jake is standing there. Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that has you blinking into reality. His hair is undone, falling over his eyes naturally and his skin glimmers just the same. He looks like he just showered, and you almost donât recognize him in his plain white sweatshirt topped with a brown jacket and jeans.
You eye him scrutinizingly, taking note of the two plastic bags heâs carrying.
âJake? What are you doing here?â your voice is shattered, tinted by the remnant of your sleep and then confusion.
âYn.â he exhales as if heâs relieved, heâs not stumbling upon your corpse and instead youâre alive âJay told me you were sick and I was gonna send you some stuff but uh â â he speaks hastily, hand scratching at the back of his neck and eyes fleeing from you and his words almost as scattered as your thoughts and perhaps thatâs why it feels like you donât understand anything heâs saying. His gaze finds you and he clear his throat. Almost like he falters at your silence.
You must be really sick or still dreaming.
âAnyways are you okay?â He asks hastily yet gently, and he remains gentle in the way his voice infiltrates your being, benign in the way he looks at you as his gaze darts over your figure and then they linger on the discomfort painting your features. It has his own brows furrowing deeper with growing concern.
He tells himself he shouldnât be this panicked â this nervous. Shouldnât let it show so obviously, clearer than the gray skies. Albeit he had practiced every word he wanted to say to you, all the excuses he was ready to spill upon finding his way to your home. Uninvited and perhaps unwelcome. For fuckâs sake he thinks he bought the entirety of the small convince store close to your apartment building and thereâs embarrassment brewing in his blood, his excuses withering at the tip of his tongue the deeper your discomfort seep into your face.
And no words of his permeates your mind strong enough and instead all you could think about is your head is pounding, and you need to sit down or bash it against the wall. Itâs solely why you donât say anything back and instead turn around in search of relief.
âYn.â Jake calls with scattered disconcertment as he follows you inside, the plastic bags are a hassle, and he curses himself yet remembers to close the door behind him and his voice echoes through your mind and your living the room when he calls again âBunny.â
You sit down on your previous spot on your couch, the room is darkened by your blinds and when you bury your head in the palms of your hands itâs not quick enough for you to not witness Jake kneeling in front of you with no hesitation, his bags abandoned on the floor as if he hadnât spent wasting minutes on deciding what to get, whatâs best for you. he doesnât touch you and his hand hovers awkwardly above your back and yet you swear you could feel its heat as if he is touching you.
âBunny whatâs wrong? Are you dizzy?â his voice betrays an unsubdued concern almost frantic, and you deny his question with a shake of your head.
âCan you talk to me? I wanna be able to help you okay?â He gently coaxes and you keep quiet because you could still sense his hand hovering, and you wonder why canât his hand be as gentle âCan you tell me what youâre feeling? Mhm?â he suggests once again.
âMy head hurts so bad.â You whimper and it feels so silly, the urge percolating into you to cry. Itâs the type of pain that makes you wish you could peel your skin off. Abandon your skull somewhere.
âOkay.â He stands up and you peer up at him through your palms and heâs looking around as if heâs trying to decide what he should do next. Evidently nervous as he runs his hand through his hair âPainkillers. Iâll get you some painkillers.â And then heâs walking towards one of the bags he was carrying, digging through them with seemingly no avail as he curses under his breath.
âFucking hell how did I forget to buy painkillers?â He berates himself, digging into the second bag only to end with failure. âDo you have any painkillers?â He asks looking up at you and the sight of you on your couch huddled up in pain even if itâs something as minor as a mere headache sends the same ache dripping from your fingertips and nestling its way right to the middle of his chest, digging and digging.
He doesnât wait for your answer and seconds pass by and then you hear him rummaging through the cabinets of your kitchen. His search doesnât last long thanks to the painkillers you had left on the counter this morning with complementation. You feel his presence and thereâs a glass of water in his hand.
âThis will make you feel better. Come on bunny.â
Heâs standing in front of you again and weirdly enough the way he speaks as if the autumn sunlight is in his voice rather than the cruel winter outside makes you feel vulnerable and when he offers comfort in the palm of his hand, places the glass of water on the table you could only manage to shake your head once again with denial.
âIâm really nauseous and I donât feel like I could take anything right now without throwing up.â You complain with a snivel and your tone breaks as if youâre about to shed tears and Jake feels it hit him in the pit of his stomach. Itâs uncomfortable and unjust because despite how scratched and heavy his heart is your pain still manages to nip at him in different places. As if thereâs no way for him not to feel you.
You leer at him and your eyes are misty, you see his hands clench then unclench by his sides and you imagine heâs fighting against restraints to not touch you. His teeth sink into his bottom lips, his fingers dig crescents into the tender skin of his palm. And you wonder how a feeling as tender manages to suffuse within you. You wonder how your mind finds room amidst the pain to fantasize about him when he is right in front of you.
But then Jake is kneeling right by your knees once again and your eyes widen only slightly when he replaces your hands with his. Pressing his thumbs into your temples.
âWhat are you doing?â
âShh. Doing this helps me with my headaches sometimes.â He explains and you shut your eyes when he applies light pressure with his fingers. And yet you are overly aware of how wavering you persist to be.
Youâre unsure if youâre dizzy because your body is catching up to how weary you feel or because heâs suddenly so close. Close enough to feel his breath hit your face, the pads of his fingers are rough and yet contrastingly warm and itâs been so long since he touched you.
âIs there anything else thatâs hurting you?â He asks â whispers delicately - after a few moments of silence with only the sound of your intermingled breaths.
âMy body hurts too.â You reply â whisper back just as delicately - and you canât fight against the small pout jutting your bottom lip out. You think if you were in the right state of mind, youâd be cringing at how dramatic youâre acting.
âThankfully you donât seem to be having a fever.â The swipes of his thumbs circle your skin soothingly âYouâll be okay.â He reassures, applying harder pressure every now and then. For a fleeting moment you arenât sure if heâs trying to comfort you or himself.
âI have you.â itâs a faint whisper. Barely inaudible and for a different fleeting moment it feels like a lie your sick mind had conjured up to feed your thirsting heart. The same fragile heart that pulsates against your ribcage and you donât want it to be a lie or a heedless imagination.
âDo you promise?â you childishly ask, and Jake lets out a breathy chuckle that tickles your face. You open your eyes, and they prance around his. The chuckle that has melted onto a small smile slowly disappears from his face and you donât know what kind of expression youâre wearing, what kind of mask you should be hiding behind.
âI promise.â He replies and you sigh because you donât know if he means that youâll be okay or that heâs got you, but you hold onto the latter. With clutches roughened by the selfishness of your own longing and shut your eyes with silly covets like not unveiling it.
Itâs only when enough time has passed for your body to relax. No longer tense shoulders and shuddered breaths. Instead, the tranquil silence that has settled right between you two settles in the depths of your chest just the same as Jake speaks;
âBetter?â He asks.
âMhm.â
âDo you think you could try taking the painkiller now?â
âYeah.â you clear your throat, pushing your eyes to open when his hands abandon your skin, and you wish you lied.
Even for a bit longer as he hands you the pills, he had picked up earlier followed by water that you chug diligently and itâs only when your glass is empty that you exhale. Wiping at the corner of your mouth at the few straying drops. He eyes you tentatively when you look up at him.
âSorry.â
âFor what?â His eyebrows furrow in clear confusion.
âFor troubling you. Being a burden. I donât know.â you slightly wince, eyes shifting somewhere else before catching his yet again and he abides unremitting.
âYouâre not a burden bunny.â You can sense thereâs more that linger at the tip of his tongue, and you wait âIâm here because I was worried about you.â he finishes and your cheeks splash with pink evoked to steal his attention by your pale face.
âDoes your body still hurt?â He asks when youâre quiet for far too long, with running gazes and nerves colored hands and pretends he didnât feel his face burning up at his confession.
âA bit.â You answer, scratching at your wrist and clearing your throat âCan you hand me my laptop, please?â you ask, pointing somewhere behind him and he raises a displeased eyebrow at you.
âFor what?â
âThereâs a couple of stuff I need to get done.â
âLike what? Whatâs so important that you need to do now?â
âBills. Rent is due soon and thereâs Yeonjunâs car fees. I was gonna do them earlier but I ended up falling asleep.â You explain, rubbing your forehead warily and the space between his brows deepen with confusion.
âCar fees?â he questions and you nod as if heâs supposed to understand âyeah I need to pay him. I need my laptop.â You move to stand up and your head is spinning a bit but you donât get to make it far before his hands are on your shoulders pushing you to sit back down and then Jake is on his knees again, chasing after your eyes with a tilt of his head.
You wish he wouldnât kneel so easily, as if he wonât swallow your heart up and flee.
âAre they urgent?â He asks tenderly and your chest tightens as if there isnât enough room for your breaths to leave.
âNo but I have to do them right now.â You insist with a shaky voice when his hands cradle your face with loving forbearance, one that has you feeling languid.
âShh, you donât need to do anything right now, okay?â he reassures as if you were panicked and perhaps you were, you arenât sure if itâs because of your lack of work or simply because Jake is in the same space as you and you arenât sure how to act without vomiting words lodged at the back of your throat.
I've missed you so much that I've been naming the stars in the sky after you.
âYouâre on sick leave for a reason. Your body needs rest.â His thumb swipes at your cheek and his face is within centimeters of yours âYou can do all of these things tomorrow or whenever you feel better, okay?â you let a shuddered breath out and for a second it feels like looking away from him is unobtainable, not when his gaze glints with golden specks, ones that feels like they are reserved for you.
âOkay.â You whisper back, overtaken by defeat and perhaps you never stood a chance.
âGood.â He grins, overtaken by triumphant.
Strands of his black hair fall over his face, and you donât think you have ever felt this much envy towards anything aside from a human being. Your fingers itch on your lap with temptation to push it out of the way yet you hold yourself back, despite the lure entangled in every move he makes. You are too aware of the distance, too aware of the space you shouldnât cross, and you will enough power not to slip again.
You fall into silence with purpose, mainly because you feel like a cuddled child and yet you have this growing fear inside of you. It slithers its path to your flickering glances, right into the skin of his palms as he strokes your cheeks. Youâre so awfully scared of splitting yourself open, baring your insides and submitting your soul to disaster.
âHow about I run you a bath?â He suggests with a slight hum, and you shake your head when his hands trail to your knees.
âNo.â
âWhy not? It will help you feel better.â
âI donât really wanna move right now.â As if to prove your point you lie down on the couch, your hair spread like a halo around you and although the room is enveloped in darkness, and everything falls into one color he swears he could almost see the sunrays infiltrating through your strands. its warmth travels to him and he almost want to spread his arms wide open to welcome it.
And perhaps it is enough force to coaxes his smile to rise â his eyes sink into excruciating benevolence and there you are stumbling yet again. Unable to look away from him, not when heâs everything you wish to behold. It pushes you into folding your desire into itself. Tucking it into the space none of you dare to take.
âWerenât you just fine moving a second ago to get your laptop?â
âThatâs different.â You argue with a shrug, making no attempts to further strengthen your point.
âIt will be warm, and it will help with soothing the ache in your body.â He says, try to persuade you with a hum and the air tastes fragile, enticing you with an ache to bury your face in the middle of his chest and sing a melody of your name into it, tattoo your name into the canvas of his soul, or maybe itâs you.
âMy ache is fine actually, thank you.â
âOh yeah? is that why your legs are shaking?â he arches a brow at you, smile tilting upwards as if theyâre claiming to reach for the stars and you look down at your body, havenât realized the slight tremble wrecking through it.
âThatâs because Iâm cold.â
Wordlessly he shrugs off his brown jacket and places it over your lower body, covering your legs and it provides little to no warmth but the scent of laundry detergent engulfs your being. It waters your fervent longing back to the surface. Drowning you in it and you wish to drown in everything that makes up Jake. You didnât know you could miss someone when theyâre right in front of you and you didnât quite grasp how hard it is to shake the hallucinating thoughts of him â where touching him isnât forbidden and looking at him comes easily â without threats for your words to spill.
âWhat about you?â you mumble, pointing at his thin , almost see through sweatshirt.
âI can handle the cold just fine.â He retorts âYou know what would help you warm up though? A bath.â
âIâm gonna feel cold as I undress to get into the bathtub.â
âIâll make it really warm to make up for the few minutes of coldness youâre gonna feel.â He counteracts with a chuckle emerging from his lips and landing right in the middle of your heart. Youâre quiet, as if youâre contemplating his words and he thinks he won as your eyes flit elsewhere â he misses you.
âWhat if the water is too hot it burns my skin?â you ask, softly and yet seriously enough for him to feel the same feeling welling in the pit of his stomach again â as if a flower is fighting its way to bloom through cracks of sorrow and he isnât sure how to deal with it.
The sunrays, the flowers and the sorrow. He won.
âIâll make sure nothing like that happens to you.â he replies, just as softly as tender as gingerly. And itâs unfair because you feel your heart palpitate at his mere existence and you already know he won the minute he stepped foot in here.
âHow about this,â he straightens, pushes his hair away from his face and youâre envious at his hands and grateful all at once for granting you a clearer glimpse to his features âIâll go run the bath. Make sure everything is perfect for you and then if you still feel like you donât want to go in, you donât have to, okay?â
You donât think youâre brave enough to accept his kindness as it is. You will always manage to find different facets of it. Dress it in the intensity of affection and stare at his smile as if spilled lullabies are woven to call for their home â within your soul.
âOkay. Iâm sorry.â
He shushes you and when he stands up, his hand lingers above your head. His own urges â hankerings to brush through your hair betray themselves in the flicker of light in his gaze so you cowardly look away because youâre scared of betraying your burning heart in yours. Scared of being rejected and falling between the walls of whys.Â
âIâll be back.â He whispers, flown away and you could still smell the rain on your skin.
You, however, stay lively with scattered hanged pictures of Japan across the walls. And your dessert shaped candles, your bathroom smells like Sakura petals, and you manage to inject your love into everything you surround. He thinks he likes it here.
Heâs gone for two minutes only; the bath is half full when you peak your head through the door of your own bathroom. Your hair is disheveled, and his jacket is now around your shoulders.
âChanged your mind?â He asks with a grin that churrs your insides.
âThe thought of a bath didnât seem so bad after all.â You answer as you step inside. You take a seat on the closed toilet seat and watch as Jake reads the back label of your pink bubble bath soap, his nose scrunches a little too adorably as if he is displeased of what it contains. Your heart warms at the sight and he still pours a generous amount of it into the tub, filling it with bubbles and then he follows it with your bodywash.
The scent of vanilla overtakes the Sakura.
âThis smells just like you.â
âIt is my bodywash after all.â
âI like it.â He says, eyes drifting to the water as he tests the temperate with his hands. How I smell or merely the scent? you want to ask but you donât.
When the water is warm and full. He trudges towards you, his cheeks are slightly pink due to the heat and thereâs a soft smile dispersing across his lips with coated fondness. It steals your breath away when heâs leaning down and taking off your socks for you. You slightly flinch with a bout of embarrassment.
âY-You donât have to do this Jake.â You fumble diffidently, with your words and your racing heart.
âI know.â He looks up at you âI want to. Am I making you uncomfortable?â He questions throwing your socks to the side. Youâre left to wonder how you are supposed to accept his integrity, his attentiveness, the unfair ability to have you wavering on this warmth of his.
âNo.â you admit, with a rattled breath and perhaps the tilt of his lips is worth it.
âCan I?â He still asks when his hands reach for the buttons of your pajama top, you shrug his jacket off and nod with a burning face.
Silence rushes in unwelcomed, and your keep your gaze downcast. watch as his fingers seemingly slower than you wish unbutton every single one. Your heart picks up speed with each one and breathing grows harder when your eyes dart towards his and yet still vacillating. Because it is not lust that fetters the air but rather something that feels much more intimate. Like exchanging words between your gazes that your tongue will not be able to match.
And it stays even when youâre finally in the bathtub. Encircled by a familiar scent, warmth and Jake at the edge of your tub. The water is as pleasant as he promised, and your body relaxes.
âJust call for me if you need anything, alright?â
Suddenly youâre inundated with a colossal amount of disappointment at being left alone. Your eyes shifting, fingers picking at the surface of your tub.
âAlright, bunny?â He asks again and maybe it is your tiresome tinting all logical thinking that you should have but then youâre shaking your head, kicking your pride to the side.
âWhat if I need something but I canât call for you?â stupid, stupid yearning.
Jake looks perplexed for a few seconds, but his expression is softened by a fond smile. He had broken hearts before â not intentionally. And he never was the man to listen to others strives to grasp for his affectionate. And yet in this moment, heâd rather have you break his heart than refuse what your eyes are seeking.
âIâll just stay then.â He tells you, tender and youâre shy. Cheeks glowing pink and he feels his fondness for you trickle into his blood and it bumps faster, rougher through his veins when you catch his gaze.
You lean back into the tub with your lips slightly tilting, pushing the entirety of your hair to the side. The ends swim alongside you and stray rivulets of water slips down your neck. Catching his gaze as it lingers for a minute too long on the necklace thatâs always there.
It's just you, unadulterated with the weather outside and draped with effulgence as he always knew you to be. And itâs him, without the echoes of all his doubtful battles. Perhaps he managed to empty his mind in the water and your necklace â his â remains around your neck even when youâre bare. Itâs like youâre wearing him, and he likes to think heâs woven into the fabric of your soul.
He looks away for a spilt second, a puff of a chuckle forces its way past his lips.
âWhat?â you ask, tilting your head to the side with a growing smile and God â youâre breathtaking.
âI just had a stupid thought.â He shakes his head, and the water slightly splashes when you move closer to him.
âTell me.â you say, and he thinks youâre too tangled in his soul.
âIt just feels like itâs been a while since we looked at each other.â He says softly âBut we see each other every day so itâs stupid.â He continues and recognition fills your eyes like you know exactly what he means.
âItâs not stupid.â you reply, and you are too tangled in his soul âI have actual stupid thoughts all the time. And you know it.â
âTheyâre extraordinary, I wouldnât call them stupid.â
âThatâs just a nicer way of saying Iâm stupid.â You retort with a playful snort; your smile remains soft.
âShut up youâre not stupid.â He insists and a comparable softness traverse in his irises and it pushes you right into quietness.
You never were one for silence. Because silence is uncomfortable and itâs vast with its weight. It vocalizes everything youâve been trying to evade all day, perhaps all week or maybe itâs been long enough to be called months. However, right now it doesnât feel like that. Itâs akin to placid waters, your reflection comes back crystalline clear rather than distorted.
âYouâre the last person I expected it to see today if Iâm being honest.â You speak after stretching minutes of none of you saying anything, fingers drawing star shapes into the water and his eyes watch you with faithful attention.
âWhat would have you done if I wasnât here?â He doesnât ask why, and you wonder if he knows or is merely uninterested.
âProbably become one with my couch until I felt better.â You shrug and he shakes his head with a tsk of disapproval. For an odd reason a knot forms in your stomach, impossibly tight and the skin of your neck ignites in flame. You tell yourself youâre growing too hot and thatâs it.
âI wish you took care of yourself the way you take care of others.â He says, candor embraces every syllable with ease. A similar knot forms in the middle of your tongue. Deeming it useless. There is no peace in confessing that you arenât sure how to do that. Not when you have spent a lifetime with amiability directed at anyone but yourself.
âI donât think I know how to do that.â Thereâs no peace in confessing yet you still do it. Perhaps you were tired of trying to light a matchstick that refuses to obey, his eyes mellow down into nothing but adoration.
Was there a point in trying to save someone that refuses to be saved?
But Jake hasnât been acting like himself. Following his impulses blindly, itâs evoked by the callings of his heart, yearning to be near so he showed up to your door like thereâs room for him. He touched you like he wasnât made from poison and he can scour through every rational thought but theyâre all adjudged futile against the softness that is you.
âIâm here now.â He says, Iâm here to take care of you, you hear.
The enormity of his desire disgusts him, itâs a craving beyond his flesh and itâs unjust. Iâll shape myself into something thatâs worth taking care of you, he means.
âYou have been working hard, your body is probably upset with you.â He adds when youâre quiet, eyes darting over your dubious figure and he thinks your cheeks have drained the colors from the world, theyâre pink and the sky is gray.
Heâs unworthy but itâs a great honor to think heâs the reason why.
âTell that to my boss.â You joke and Jake narrows his eyes at you.
âI actually heard your boss is super nice,â
âDid you now?â
âUh huh, super nice and handsome too. Ripped body. Killer smile. I could go on forever. Really.â He trails, lowering his fingers one by one and you roll your eyes with a forced giggle tumbling out your lips, one that you cannot seem to be able to hold back.
âWhoâs feeding you these lies? Jay?â
âSo, you donât agree that Iâm handsome?â
âBeauty is subjective.â
âIs that a no?â a look of faux offense clambers over his face and your giggle uprears in volume, grows further from fatigue and closer to how you usually sound. You pretend to zip your mouth shut, raising palms in surrender as if you canât help it.
A deeper umbrage takes claim on his face, and he attempts to splash water at you, you turn your head with a laugh, and he sees Sakura petals bloom across your face, they come from within, watered by you.
âIn all seriousness,â he itches closer to you. and your smile melts off your face at the sudden propinquity it has your body engulfed in heat that isnât provided by the bath. His fingers trail underwater, and when his eyes catch yours, theyâre soaked with softness and your reflection is so clear. when his fingers graze yours, they fail to intertwine, and your heart is beating so fast you feel like you could throw It up.
âYouâre doing a good job, bunny.â Your eyes soften as marginally, you bring your knees up to your chest. Attempts to hide the joy that overtakes your sentiment â the warmth that caresses your heart. You allow yourself to bask in it and a faint voice whispers in your heart;
You have managed to stumble on a lost star â he shines so brightly and burns just as bright. And he calls for you in a sea of flesh.
âYouâre doing a good job too, Jake.â He smiles and your mind careens.
âTell that to my assistant.â
This time itâs you who splashes him with water and this time itâs him who laughs like the world shrinks into nothing but you and him in the middle of your small bathroom. And you smile like your heart has never known pain, but you donât tell him that you didnât let the water get to him on purpose, and you donât show him that love writes itself in the corners of your face.
âShall I help you wash your hair?â He asks when his laughter had died down and the glint in his eyes shines brighter.
âYou donât have to.â
At your answer heâs already getting up, hands reaching for your bottle of shampoo. When heâs behind you, hands entangled in your hair. You bury your face in your knees with a profound urge to weep taking over your sensitive heart. Itâs foolishly emerging from the fog of your confusion at the reminder that you donât remember the last time someone cared for you this deeply, this tenderly. And thereâs unavoidable loneliness at the thought, thereâs melancholy in the feeling, knowing that this tenderness is temporary.
No matter how selfishly you hope for it to last. Your mind is a battlefield, haunted by touches of love. Stories upon stories stitched together by great ardor. You have seen it all around you, in movies, written in pages of a novel and in ending relationships your friends had gone through â none of them are yours.
âBunny I canât wash your hair if youâre leaning that far off.â Jake comments with a chuckle.
You keep quiet, too embarrassed to cry over something as inevitable as Jake leaving. Too ashamed of the covetous ache brimming in your blood. You have tried to discard it, but you arenât sure how are you supposed to drain your blood without kneeling into death.
Jake follows your silence. Maybe he thinks youâre stubbornly childish, maybe he thinks youâre teasing him or maybe he sees it through it all and your weakness is unabashed and itâs a glaring red siren coaxing him into the complexity of your essence. You donât see him, but you feel him moving behind you, the sound of a lid uncapping and then his hands are on your back with lathered soup, vanilla fills the empty spaces of silence.
His hands arenât soft against your skin, theyâre rough, washed raw and dry. You could almost distinguish every scar that embellishes them, the healing ones, old ones you havenât been there to witness taint his skin. His sadness â unrelenting guilt is unabashed, and you never knew such callous hands could be this gentle.
Itâs another stupid thought â but maybe thereâs room for something to belong to you.
When the sun sets outside. The lights in your hallway stay the same. While Jake takes an alarmingly long time to wash his hands. Long enough for enervation to sink deeper into your bones, it drains the color from your face. and it transpires itself into imaginary leg cuffs around your ankles making your movement closer to a harder task than breathing.
You somehow feel even more tired, dragged further down the hole of sickness.
âYou okay?â He asks when he finds you in your bedroom, sitting on your velvet vanity chair and clothed in your robe. Your hair is slightly damp and the colors of the sun leaving seeps in through the openings of your curtains.
âJust a little tired.â You answer, throwing a glance at his direction and it leaves him wondering â perhaps for days â how you manage to look like you stepped out of the painting of his dreams.
In his dreams, his heart isnât as filthy and merging into you isnât as fearful.
In reality, he clears his throat and steps into your room, inhales your perfume and envelopes his filthy heart with faux courage.
âHave you eaten yet?â
âMhm.â You lean your head back onto his chest when heâs standing behind you. He conceals his surprise with immense force, not fast enough for the betrayal of his slightly widened eyes. cinnamon and vanilla overtake his senses, your face is doused in exhaustion and his mind is fuzzy.
âNot yet.â He inhales you.
âWeâll need to get some food in your system, yeah?â He whispers and you hum, eyes falling shut when he tentatively brushes his fingers through your hair âWeâll also need to do something about your hair â canât have you getting sicker.â
âI donât feel like doing anything.â You faintly complain, a small pout adorning your lips when you look up at him, the sunset glimmers in your eyes and reality pales in comparison.
âIâll do it for you.â He replies with an amused grin at the way youâre acting. It gives room for the moon to rise.
You arenât sure what he means by that â however a long sigh caged in your chest escapes when he starts brushing your hair. Heâs extremely gentle, fingers coated in delicacy that you donât even provide for your own hair. And thereâs a peculiar domesticity painting the air. As if this was how everything was meant to unfold. For you to eventually end up here and for him to be behind you through it all.
âI never thought that the Jake Sim would be good at braiding hair.â You comment lightly when he starts sectioning your hair, he catches your eyes in the mirror.
âMy mum taught me.â he mumbles, eyes returning to his work and seeming completely focused on your hair âI used to braid her hair for her all the time.â
âThatâs really sweet.â You reply with a lowered tone â a hushed softness and Jake is quiet for a few moments. You think his words die here but then he speaks again.
âI vividly remember how each time the braid grew smaller and smaller because she kept losing so much hair.â His words flow as easy as autumn breeze, bittered by the winter as if the image is still fresh in his head. Rather than a distant memory. Itâs an image that still glides throughout his reality.
âShe always joked that itâs better this way. That itâs easier for me to braid.â He chuckles but it lacks life, joy, and his eyes deepen with distant â longing and your heart tightens, brows slightly furrowing at his undeniable grief.
Iâm sorry. Lingers at the tip of your tongue but youâre well aware thatâs not the kind of words that will bring him peace. It wonât ease his pain or lessen the depth of his sadness â anger. Youâre well aware not to act upon the urges clashing inside of you. truthfully you want to know everything about him. The thoughts that invade his mind at night, in the mornings and right now when heâs dozing off with pieces of you in between his fingers.
What is he like when his anger isnât restrained â what is he like when heâs not bottling everything up and what would it be like to peek into his sorrowful river. You donât give room for yourself to decipher the cause of this urge. You know itâs not trivial curiosity, but rather the desire to peer into the corners of his souls. Like a book you wish to read, your fingers itching. Yet you manage to hold yourself back. You smile and night has painted the sky.
âShe sounds like a lively woman.â
âShe is.â He says absentmindedly while his hands braid the ends of your hair âShe was.â He corrects in a fleeting second âShe was the type of person to find happiness even on the darkest and gloomiest days.â
Jakeâs lament displays itself in the floods of his existence with no shame. Thereâs softness twined in his gaze; one that appears naturally at the mention of a person he holds so dearly to his heart, yet the bitterness abides part of it all. Itâs a wound that had yet to stop aching in pain, to stop bleeding. He doesnât know why he tells you all this and doesnât know how the words slipped out of his mouth but his eyes stumble upon yours thereâs not a single cell of regret in his body.
You donât look at him with pity nor sympathy. Jake had showed off his scars to you and you still look at him like itâs just â him. Not his shame, or grief. His existence had always felt like a garden of black and red agonies. Had seen it tickle down his cheeks with rivulets of his sorrow, witnessed the blood seep out his fingers and drench the ground with every step he takes. But youâre there, in the midst of it all and youâre not looking at him with disdain. Instead, you flourish with ease, as if he isnât made of prickling thorns.
âIâm sure sheâs still watching over you, proudly.â You tell him with a fragile smile, and it shouldnât shake his soul the way it does. He looks away with a slight tremble in his hand. A labored breath and he canât say anything back to you. You donât look at him as shame or grief and he canât let you look at him as his regret, his guilt.        Â
Jake is made up of a garden tainted with black and red agonies â his remorse remains a master of it all. He doesnât find enough courage to come face to face with the fact that itâs not that. That if his mother knew, if you knew how he lived his life. Glory has no place to exist. So, instead he grins and ties your hair for you.
âAll done.â
âWow! itâs really well done actually.â You say, bringing your hair to the front and staring at it, between your hands. A pang of ache nestles its way into his stomach and itâs peculiar to feel like youâre holding a piece of him so delicately.
âitâs just one of my many talents.â He quips and you giggle slightly.
You keep your eyes glued to your hair and he senses something shifting in your eyes and your lips cast downwards faster than heâd like. He senses a realization in you unfold as your brows start to furrow.
âMy mom,â you speak suddenly and then youâre looking at him, a smile doused in sorrow similar to his is on your face âmy mom never really taught me anything.â You murmur like a confession pulled from the depths of your soul. For a moment he thinks he sees your scars too, theyâre raw and have yet to stop bleeding, he thinks he tastes your heartache on your tongue.
Itâs bitter and doesnât belong in you.
âYou still turned out wonderful.â He says, every word, tone is inundated with sincerity and your eyes flit to his with purpose to steal his heart. They glimmer and he wonders how envious the moon must be â he wonders if thereâs room for him to linger around.
âYou donât have to be nice to me just because Iâm sick.â You joke lightly, you ended up baring your insides after all.
âHave I ever lied to you?â He whispers, not colored with amuse like you had hoped.
âNo.â you answer, and you think you canât slip when you have already fallen, and he smiles like he knows he won.
You realize it then â how scary intimacy truly is. Not the one evoked by lust and hunger but this one. The one that saturates the air with vulnerability. Baring your soul with its ugly scratches, your hideous mistakes while blind to everything thatâs coming your way.
And he realizes it then â that thereâs so much of you he has yet to unveil, he sees parts of you everywhere, in the love you spill into everything you do. And in your so ever called hope. Jake was never optimistic. Life hadnât given him the privilege to be and somewhere in the darkened nights in his garden he lost the ability to believe in such an intangible thing as hope. So, he wonders why he wishes for your hope to never wither away. He feels this immense urge to peer into your soul, look through the pages of your book.
You open your mouth to say something and the hairs on his body rise in anticipation to listen with devotion. Itâs an odd feeling to thirst for someone like this. Not for their body to touch yours or unload accumulated stress through them but rather to intertwine with him, crave for your hand to mesh into them. How selfish it is, to crave someone this bad, as if he has any right to call you his.
Your phone dings multiple times on your vanity, seemingly with messages and your mouth closes, eyes averting and his anticipation is stripped away, overtaken by disappointment at your fleeting attention.
âSorry,â you mumble, picking up your phone and going through the notifications. Your brows slightly furrow, and he grows hatred for your phone.
âIs everything okay?â he asks at your lingering worry.
âYeah um,â your fingers move across your screen as you type to a response to whatever stole your gazes from him âNiki is here?â you add and it comes out more as a question colored with bewilderment.
âDid you know he was coming?â
âNo,â you lock your phone and stand up âI told him to come up. He wants to talk to me about something.â You explain further, heading towards your closet in search of clothes to wear. You pull a plain thick sweater over your head, hands reaching for a pair of shorts closest to your hand.
The sound of your door unlocking has Jakeâs eyes slightly widening at the speed of your brother. Did he fucking teleport to your floor or what?
âAnyways it probably wonât be long so just stay here.â You add and he cocks a brow at your choice of clothing .
âAre you seriously wearing that?â he asks eyes trailing over your figure.
âYeah, why?â
âYou have been complaining about being cold all day and now youâre wearing shorts? Do you want to die?â you blink at him slowly âChange. Wear something warm.â He adds crossing his arms and tone stern unlike how he has been talking to you gently earlier, itâs slightly amusing  and it has your lips twitching upwards.
âYes boss.â You joke heading for your closet again and he rolls his eye and then your back faces him and you fail to see his smile, itâs adorned with affection.
After changing into thicker pajama pants and gaining a nod of approval from Jake, you make it out to your living room. Niki is on your couch and upon hearing the sound of your steps his eyes shift from the plastic bags on the floor to you. irritation paints his face quickly and you sigh warily.
âłâ¶ Synopsis: after being fired and blacklisted from the entertainment industry your life is on the verge of falling apart. An opportunity arises to save you when you get a job offer to work as a personal assistant for ex lead singer of the rock band PARANOIA! and now turned model, nicknamed the nationâs sweetheart- Jake Sim. However his image crumbles quickly when you discover heâs nothing but the devil in disguise.
A story of two hurt souls finding comfort within each other in the most unexpected ways.