I just laughed for one year watching this. The casual walk-off is just deadly.
Cosimo Galluzzi
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
Keni
KIROKAZE
Today's Document

PR's Tumblrdome

titsay
taylor price
untitled
Stranger Things
Game of Thrones Daily
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around
we're not kids anymore.
trying on a metaphor

Andulka

tannertan36

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@bembely
I just laughed for one year watching this. The casual walk-off is just deadly.
every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/
rb if you too sit down in ur room and watch horror movies alone
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?
decay exists as an extant form of life
That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day
THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???
Bogaboo Dunkey seems like it should do numbers on tumblr
if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil
it's almost summer do you guys want my stupid hyperoptimized lemonade recipe that takes half a day to make and whips absolute ass
Fruited Lemonade That Makes You Reconsider It All
ingredience:
lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)
whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.
granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.
water as needed
equipment:
a few nonmetallic mixing bowls
a mesh strainer
a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth
a kitchen scale
a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)
a potato masher
juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds - and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.
Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.
Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).
taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.
citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.
some tried and true flavor combos:
straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic
lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)
lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)
lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)
some cocktail type combos, booze optional:
lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin
lime & mint + white rum
lime & ginger + dark rum
lime & cucumber + gin
lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila
lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey
holy gods
I recently learned an old French euphemism for bisexuality. It means to be powered "by sail and steam," and it absolutely comes from a specific flavor of 19th-century ship.
HMS Terror and Erebus were bisexual, you heard it here first.
Happy Pride!
See, this is the kind of content I need in my life. Thank you op.
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The spiritual successor to Miette
Might I also add
May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit
Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children
I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.
My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang
Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.
My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang
Me: ksst!
My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!
Me: ok
My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang
Can haz snackytreat
(source)
Source
#the ancient texts
... My reblog was only six years ago!
they need to make a menstrual cup with a tap on the end. vampire fratboys should be able to do a keg stand off my vagina.
thanks for the advice tumblr but this post doesn't actually need to be seen i'm just trying to unburden my soul of it like it's some sort of dark passenger i need to exorcise out
"i asked chatgpt" okay?? well I asked my wife
Dedicated to my cat, who is very vocal about my bed time.
PATREON
I know you wanted me away But I am called to be the first Pope from the USA I heard that there's a special place where God talks directly to me every time I pray
I'm having holy dreams, of ruling the Holy See Hear Santa Monica, her son is calling me Won't make the bishops proud, the USCCB Will see their bro in Christ, I know they're gonna scream
"God, what will you do? You once were our boy, then you went to Peru," oh Fathers I'm on the balcony In my vestments, they elected me as the
I'm pontificating as the
I'll be treading closer to the
✨ OLD STATUS QUO ✨
But bigots will keep calling me the
I rise, as Leo, 10 and 4 Saying that the Church should help the migrants and the poor They ask, my feelings on baseball And wonder if I like the gays "a bit" or "not at all"
I live my holy dreams, in Vatican City 'Bye Santa Monica degli Agostin'ani I preach the basic core of Christianity It makes hypocrites mad, I know they're gonna scream
"God, what have you done? He's left of center, an' he's your new Number One," oh brothers The Father and Son Told me they think your views, are hopelessly wrong. You call me
Go ahead keep tweeting I'm a
Maybe I'll slide down a righteous
✨Slippery Slope✨
And someday maybe there will be a
Where's Weird Al to perform something like this when you need him?
She literally does not give a damn what that old fool is yelling about
the lion does not concern herself with papa
"Wow, you're really good at this, you should do this professionally" okay but have you considered that I don't want to because that would suck all the fun out of this thing that I do for fun and entertainment and it's actually a conscious choice to not do this professionally because that would destroy the very reason I do this to begin with
"You should monetize this hobby" You should go outside and leave me alone
I am literally always saying this
life altering video
"But the reviews said-" "But rotten tomatoes says-" "but twitter and tik tok said-"
WHO CARES WATCH IT FOR YOURSELF!!