they fuck you up

@jollygreenegiant: this is the end in our family portrait, we look pretty happy, let's play pretend, act like it comes naturally

[ben-greene]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Grayson: Hot pockets. Got it. I won't let you down. Actually, are you gonna be there over Thanksgiving still? I'm coming home, so I could probably legit bring you some hot pockets. [He hesitated, unsure how to respond to the rest of it. Grayson's gotten better at this whole thing though, and if Ben is willing to talk candidly about his addiction and recovery, then Grayson figures he owes it to Ben to do the same. No ducking out of emotional conversations anymore. At least not with the people who actually matter] I mean, weird, yeah. But also kind of cool, right? Like when you walk out of there and you're clean, you'll get the satisfaction of knowing you were the one who did that. Total bragging rights.

Ben: Yes, definitely. And Thanksgiving? I'm not sure, actually. I suppose so, if they feel that I'm recovered enough to let go or something. I'm not sure how that works, actually. I think it just depends on how I'm doing by then. [Ben thought about going back home for Thanksgiving, and not knowing exactly where 'home' was. The apartment he bought after everything went down with their dad would be suffice, but lonely, and at that very thought something triggered in Ben. The craving wasn't as bad, but he had trouble fighting it, but just as he thought about seeing his friends again, it subsided, but didn't go away] Yeah, totally. [Ben laughed, thinking about it] I think I'm going to go back to school. Like, go to the local college, or something. They are having me talk about my future and all this shit, and I just keep telling them it's not totally my decision anymore, and that I don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life, but they are still making me think about it. Really fucking annoying, lemme tell you.

[ben-greene]

@charlieg: whoever let me take psychology this semester - what kind of friend are u how dare u

@jollygreenegiant: @charlieg wasn't me

[miss-alaska]

True, true. How’s it goin’ over there, anyways, Ben?

[ben-greene]

It's going. Slowly, but it's going. I'm beginning to see hope.

[ben-greene]

@mcguirenotlizzie:@jollygreenegiant yeah

@mcguirenotlizzie: @jollygreenegiant how's that going

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie good i suppose

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie how is college?

[ben-greene]

@mcguirenotlizzie: @jollygreenegiant oh i see

@mcguirenotlizzie: @jollygreenegiant "contrast to common belief"

@mcguirenotlizzie: @jollygreenegiant you're getting smarter 2

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie well, rehab does that to ya

[ben-greene]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Grayson: Dude, literally every store in the world sells hot pockets. Don't accept that shit from them. And don't worry, you can swear all you want while talking to me. I won't tattle on you. [He grins, glad that Ben sounds good though. Grayson definitely still finds himself losing his bearings in their friendship, especially with everything that happened to Ben this summer prior to entering rehab. Grayson had mostly attempted to help with shitty jokes about how 'at least you managed to get some punches in- that was always my one regret with my dad' to sitting down, listening, and letting Ben direct the conversation. Not all that different from how he normally acts, but hopefully Ben can tell that Grayson genuinely wants to help in any way he can. Not that the summer was all bad for Ben, either. Grayson's friend is officially engaged, and although Grayson has some reservations -his own parents married young, and look how that turned out- he figures that the last thing Ben needs right now is Grayson questioning him] I'm glad you're doing better though.

Ben: I know. They always said I could get someone to bring them to me, so if you ever come visit me, I will only accept your visitation if you brought me hot pockets, no exception. Alright, fucker? [He laughed, looking down at his feet. His summer was eventful, and that was the only way you could put it. He didn't know how to describe it, actually. Some things were brilliant, and some were awful, but in all, he got through it piece by piece. He was just trying to get through rehab now] It's weird though, isn't it, Gray? This place can't cure me, but it can help me. I eventually have to cure myself.

[limitlessplaylist]

Visit Original Link

It’s just another night And I’m staring at the moon I saw a shooting star And thought of you

[sophiasux-blog]

They’re good, just stressful I guess. I’m taking psychology, higher level english, assorted statistics, a journalism class, and biology. But anyway, um, how are you doing with everything?

[ben-greene]

It sounds like a lot of boring and difficulty. Psychology sounds fun. I wonder how everyone else is dealing with the new circumstances. I'm doing good, actually. It's been about a month and I honestly think I could be a lot worst, so I'm.. good.

[ben-greene]

@mcguirenotnizzie: @jollygrennegiant are u talkin shit ???

@mcguirenotlizzie: @jollygreenegiant well..... in theory.... yes....

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie contrast to common belief, i am not

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie i knew it

[sophiasux-blog]

I’m about to stop trying, honestly.

[ben-greene]

Oh, don't do that. How are the classes?Like, what classes are you taking?

[ben-greene]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Grayson: [He's never been a very patient person, and Grayson can only take the inane 'on hold' music for so long, so thankfully it doesn't take long before Ben picks up the phone] Hey! It's me, Grayson. How are you? [He sounds more or less normal, even if there's cautious trepidation hiding under his words. Even to this day he's still never sure how exactly to approach Ben about anything involving alcoholism, and given where Ben's currently living it's basically impossible to ignore. Grayson usually just tries to treat the phone calls like any other. Except, of course, when he asks Ben how he's doing he means 'in rehab', as opposed to Emmett and Sophia where he means 'at school'. As far as Grayson's concerned though, they both absolutely know that- there's no need to make it completely explicit right away. Maybe normalcy is good for Ben anyway, or whatever]

Ben: [A grin appears on Ben's face and he knnows this was going to be an alright conversation] Oh, hey, dude. I'm doing... better, you can say. [Ben can honestly say he is doing better. He still gets sick, and at times where he gets lonely and upset he feels the need for it, but it's getting to a point where he can go on without it. He still doesn't trust himself all too well, but that's what progress is for. Plus, he knew Grayson wasn't looking for some simple, generic answer. He wanted to know how rehab was going for him, and he couldn't blame him. Ever since he found out, things were different, but Ben felt them slowly going back to the way they were before] The food here is shit, to be honest. I requested hot pockets on the next list, but they told me they couldn't find any. What kind of bullshit is that? [Ben pauses and sighs] Plus, they told me to keep down the swearing, but fuck that. I can cope however the fuck I want. [He laughs, resting his head on the cold wall behind him]

[sophiasux-blog]

You know, when everyone said it was only gonna get harder after high school I didn’t think they meant that I’d have four essays due in one day. 

[sophiasux-blog]

[ben-greene]

Damn, should I just not even try then?

[ben-greene]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Grayson: [He can literally never get over how weird it is to dial this number. It'll be Ben on the other line sooner or later, but it's still not the same as just picking up his phone and hitting the number one to speed dial his friend's cell phone. By now Grayson's got the rehab center's number memorized too, and he's still glad for Ben, happy that Ben is doing this and nearly free and clear, but it's just... bizarre. Grayson's roommate is out right now though, and with the room actually to himself for once, he figures now's as good a time as any to call Ben. Some receptionist answers as always, but he knows the protocol] Hi, uhm- This is Grayson Handler, I'm calling for Ben Greene. [The woman on the other line puts him on hold, and Grayson sits down on his bed, deeming his desk currently too messy to deal with, and waits to be connected through to Ben]

Ben: [The boy never thought the process of getting clean would be so hard. Normally they say the first couple days were the hardest, and normally when Ben would try to get clean on his own, they were. However, Ben's sole purpose for entering rehab made the first couple days surprisingly easy. It was Day Seven when he started getting really sick from the withdrawal. He had called his friends before, and had even wrote a few letters to Sophia, Alice, and Grayson. But he didn't talk to anyone for a week after he started feeling the side effects of withdrawal. He wanted the poision he once drowned himself in every day. It wasn't until Ben started getting himself into activities and actually started participating in group therapy that he began to feel better, and that's when he started taking calls again. So, it was no surprise when someone had walked in saying there was a call for him. He didn't know who it would be, but probably no one different than who had already called him. So, he walked down to the call center and picked up the phone that they told him to, leaning against the wall ] Hello?

[ben-greene]

@mcguirenotlizzie: internet pls cooperate

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie nice twitter name

@jollygreenegiant: @mcguirenotlizzie college made you a wiser guy

[ben-greene]

@blakeoutram: freeeeezing.

@jollygreenegiant: @blakeoutram how it's blazing

[miss-alaska]

College fucking sucks.

[ben-greene]

I think it'll be fucking glorious compared to this place. 

[floralprintharry]

[ben-greene]

Short days when the nights are long When I think of the things I’ve done Don’t matter how far I’ve gone I’m always feeling at home…