the world is too heavy.

grayson. eighteen. team two. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.

[graysonhandler]

@blakeoutram: 3 months all around Europe. Definitely worth it.

@thegreatgracie: @blakeoutram shit trade me places school still sucks

[graysonhandler]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Ben: I know. They always said I could get someone to bring them to me, so if you ever come visit me, I will only accept your visitation if you brought me hot pockets, no exception. Alright, fucker? [He laughed, looking down at his feet. His summer was eventful, and that was the only way you could put it. He didn't know how to describe it, actually. Some things were brilliant, and some were awful, but in all, he got through it piece by piece. He was just trying to get through rehab now] It's weird though, isn't it, Gray? This place can't cure me, but it can help me. I eventually have to cure myself.

Grayson: Hot pockets. Got it. I won't let you down. Actually, are you gonna be there over Thanksgiving still? I'm coming home, so I could probably legit bring you some hot pockets. [He hesitated, unsure how to respond to the rest of it. Grayson's gotten better at this whole thing though, and if Ben is willing to talk candidly about his addiction and recovery, then Grayson figures he owes it to Ben to do the same. No ducking out of emotional conversations anymore. At least not with the people who actually matter] I mean, weird, yeah. But also kind of cool, right? Like when you walk out of there and you're clean, you'll get the satisfaction of knowing you were the one who did that. Total bragging rights.

[graysonhandler]

charlieg: whoever let me take psychology this semester - what kind of friend are u how dare u

@thegreatgracie: @charlieg just remember c's get degrees

[graysonhandler]

Text to: Sophia Thompson

Sophia: which one do you care about more

Sophia: choose wisely

Grayson: haha what kind of a question is that BOOBS obviously

Grayson: (I AM JOKING)

[graysonhandler]

@mcguirenotlizzie: @thegreatgracie man i wish but it was the top part

@thegreatgracie: @mcguirenotlizzie im ngl im a little disappointed to hear this

[graysonhandler]

@mcguirenotlizzie: @thegreatgracie i touched a jellyfish on P U R P O S E

@thegreatgracie: @mcguirenotlizzie did u have to pee on yourself afterwards

[graysonhandler]

Text to: Sophia Thompson

Sophia: so glad you understand gray

Sophia: totally. i'll let you know when i'll be home

Sophia: you just want to see my boobs on snapchat you don't even care about my heart >:(

Grayson: sounds good!

Grayson: but this is such bullshit i care abt your boobs AND your heart

[graysonhandler]

Text to: Sophia Thompson

Sophia: i know i'm sorry :( i'd come home like right now if i could

Sophia: i'll be home for xmas for sure :) so i'll probs see you them

Sophia: perv i knew you'd say that

Grayson: haha dont worry abt it ik school is like important to some ppl or some shit

Grayson: ok cool! hopefully we'll at least get to see each other then :)

Grayson: perv wow ive never heard that from u before (sarcasm)

[graysonhandler]

@mcguirenotlizzie: @thegreatgracie everyday is an exciting day for samuel mcguire

@mcguirenotlizzie: @thegreatgracie amazing what else has samuel mcguire been up to lately

[graysonhandler]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Ben: [A grin appears on Ben's face and he knnows this was going to be an alright conversation] Oh, hey, dude. I'm doing... better, you can say. [Ben can honestly say he is doing better. He still gets sick, and at times where he gets lonely and upset he feels the need for it, but it's getting to a point where he can go on without it. He still doesn't trust himself all too well, but that's what progress is for. Plus, he knew Grayson wasn't looking for some simple, generic answer. He wanted to know how rehab was going for him, and he couldn't blame him. Ever since he found out, things were different, but Ben felt them slowly going back to the way they were before] The food here is shit, to be honest. I requested hot pockets on the next list, but they told me they couldn't find any. What kind of bullshit is that? [Ben pauses and sighs] Plus, they told me to keep down the swearing, but fuck that. I can cope however the fuck I want. [He laughs, resting his head on the cold wall behind him]

Grayson: Dude, literally every store in the world sells hot pockets. Don't accept that shit from them. And don't worry, you can swear all you want while talking to me. I won't tattle on you. [He grins, glad that Ben sounds good though. Grayson definitely still finds himself losing his bearings in their friendship, especially with everything that happened to Ben this summer prior to entering rehab. Grayson had mostly attempted to help with shitty jokes about how 'at least you managed to get some punches in- that was always my one regret with my dad' to sitting down, listening, and letting Ben direct the conversation. Not all that different from how he normally acts, but hopefully Ben can tell that Grayson genuinely wants to help in any way he can. Not that the summer was all bad for Ben, either. Grayson's friend is officially engaged, and although Grayson has some reservations -his own parents married young, and look how that turned out- he figures that the last thing Ben needs right now is Grayson questioning him] I'm glad you're doing better though.

[graysonhandler]

Text to: Sophia Thompson

Sophia: i'll try but like do you know how much those tickets cost??!

Sophia: i miss you too :(

Sophia: wow ok should we just stop then??

Grayson: yeah i know i was looking ticket prices up last night its dumb

Grayson: what abt xmas then?

Grayson: woah hang on i def never suggested THAT

[graysonhandler]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Ben: [The boy never thought the process of getting clean would be so hard. Normally they say the first couple days were the hardest, and normally when Ben would try to get clean on his own, they were. However, Ben's sole purpose for entering rehab made the first couple days surprisingly easy. It was Day Seven when he started getting really sick from the withdrawal. He had called his friends before, and had even wrote a few letters to Sophia, Alice, and Grayson. But he didn't talk to anyone for a week after he started feeling the side effects of withdrawal. He wanted the poision he once drowned himself in every day. It wasn't until Ben started getting himself into activities and actually started participating in group therapy that he began to feel better, and that's when he started taking calls again. So, it was no surprise when someone had walked in saying there was a call for him. He didn't know who it would be, but probably no one different than who had already called him. So, he walked down to the call center and picked up the phone that they told him to, leaning against the wall ] Hello?

Grayson: [He's never been a very patient person, and Grayson can only take the inane 'on hold' music for so long, so thankfully it doesn't take long before Ben picks up the phone] Hey! It's me, Grayson. How are you? [He sounds more or less normal, even if there's cautious trepidation hiding under his words. Even to this day he's still never sure how exactly to approach Ben about anything involving alcoholism, and given where Ben's currently living it's basically impossible to ignore. Grayson usually just tries to treat the phone calls like any other. Except, of course, when he asks Ben how he's doing he means 'in rehab', as opposed to Emmett and Sophia where he means 'at school'. As far as Grayson's concerned though, they both absolutely know that- there's no need to make it completely explicit right away. Maybe normalcy is good for Ben anyway, or whatever]

[graysonhandler]

Text to: Sophia Thompson

Grayson: hey r u coming home for thnxgiving next month?

Grayson: i miss u :(

Grayson: also sexting isnt the same

[graysonhandler]

Phone Call: The Hills Treatment Center (alcoholism cw)

Grayson: [He can literally never get over how weird it is to dial this number. It'll be Ben on the other line sooner or later, but it's still not the same as just picking up his phone and hitting the number one to speed dial his friend's cell phone. By now Grayson's got the rehab center's number memorized too, and he's still glad for Ben, happy that Ben is doing this and nearly free and clear, but it's just... bizarre. Grayson's roommate is out right now though, and with the room actually to himself for once, he figures now's as good a time as any to call Ben. Some receptionist answers as always, but he knows the protocol] Hi, uhm- This is Grayson Handler, I'm calling for Ben Greene. [The woman on the other line puts him on hold, and Grayson sits down on his bed, deeming his desk currently too messy to deal with, and waits to be connected through to Ben]

[graysonhandler]

@mcguirenotlizzie: internet pls cooperate

@thegreatgracie: @mcguirenotlizzie i can see ur having an exciting day

[miss-alaska]

I don’t know why, but it’s pretty accomplishing to say that I’m a high school graduate now.

[graysonhandler]

Right? It's surprisingly satisfying. Maybe that's just knowing that I don't have to go to Oakview High ever again though.

[ben-greene]

It’s about what would happen to Sam, right? How’s he holding up, by the way? 

So, uhm… I don’t know, I wasn’t going to say anything, but it’s kind of been eating me up inside and I don’t know how to feel about it, but Alice.. Alice and I can never have children. 

[graysonhandler]

Nah, more like...hard to explain, I guess. Sam's doing good though! He doesn't know anything about Simon, thank God, so he's got no idea about that text they sent out or anything. Which is how it's gonna stay.

Oh...uh. Why not?