This blog is primarily dedicated to talking about the very bad very terrible gacha game 'Sdorica'. The game is, as of writing this, in maintenance mode with an incomplete story. The development company is also kinda evil so I would suggest not playing it. If you really want to understand what I'm posting about then you can watch just Eclipse on Youtube. It's only 20 hours long! A small price to pay for forever gaining my affection!
I am particularly concerned with the characters and plot of the game's third story arc 'Eclipse'. This is mostly fixated on the characters Tindoiimu and Soohyeon who are some of my favorite characters of all time. I also ship them btw. I will infrequently post character analysis, AU ideas, fanfiction, and shipping brainrot content dedicated to them. I am not against posting about other characters in Sdorica but I will do so much less than my favs. There's also Beyata who I love dearly but probably won't post a lot about.
Outside of Sdorica posting I will occasionally talk about other gacha games I play on here. This is namely Reverse 1999 and Limbus Company/Project Moon in general. I was formerly super into Magia Record prior of JP's EOS so I might post about that rarely too.
-Who Are You-
That's not important......
But to be short: She/her cis lesbian. I'm 18+ and sometimes I might post risqué stuff in line with that but nothing too vulgar. You can call me Alice if you'd like, or Jurism/Juri since that's my handle in a few places. I like writing and have an addiction to gacha games. I post on Twitter way too much but I've taken to posting on Tumblr for my long form thoughts. I post on Twitter under the handle @ juriloving if you want to see me be incredibly mean spirited and cynical.
I post onto AO3 sporadically too! Though it's just one Limbus Company fic and two Sdorica fics....... I go by Jurism there!
-Tags-
As of right now I use #TindoYeon for my shipping brainrot content, #vendacti findings for my more analysis focused Sdorica stuff, and #vendacti gaming for gameplay of any of the gachas I play. I also have #Soohyeon Rambles which contains my devotion to the Shaman of the Water Sect. There is now #vendacti writing for my fanfic related endeavors of all kinds despite the name.
-Asks-
Feel free to send in asks! In particular if you read any of my analysis or shipping posts and have questions I LOVE to yap about my interests in depth!
Vereinsamt posting long after the party is over but one of my favorite small bits in Reverse 1999 is how the Hoffman Knot is outwardly named after both Adler and Greta since they both greatly assisted in it's creation
But everyone knows which one of the two it's actually named after. Enigma wouldn't ever put his name on something after all.
Slowly working myself out of my EOS induced slump and even if the game never gets updates I can still make theories!
Okay so I might have mentioned it before but I had a kinda pet theory that Tachilaanda is actually a Dracotine. My sole piece of evidence is an April Fools image that has her lumped in with them for a parody of that one Evangelion scene.
This was mostly just a joke theory of mine for awhile but yesterday I think I found a more substantial line of reasoning.
It started when I was thinking about the function of Tindoiimu as a hostage. The primary reason is presumably that if the Insects ever try to retaliate then Tindoiimu would be swiftly executed. So she serves as a deterrent but that begs the question why would insects still choose to pull off an assassination anyways? This was also done in cooperation with the Dracotines so something is definitely fishy.
Then I thought about it some more and realized 'If Tindoiimu is executed than Tachilaanda would ascend to the throne'. It also fits in perfectly with the fact she was the only member of the royal family to live when the war started once more. Tachilaanda functioning as a destabilizing force in the East would also play well into the hands of the Dracotines, possibly allowing Juan Yun to assume power much more easily than if they only had the monsters to deal with. It's also possible that the Dracotines played the long game with this, having allies fan Tachilaanda's jealousy of her sister enough to make her the perfect candidate for such a plot.
How true is any of this? No idea! And we will never find out!
Something that's kinda obvious that I just realized is that as of 3.5, none of the regular human playable characters are women (obvious exception to Kassandra). The closest thing we got was, of course, Schneider who even then was something of a faux Arcanist.
Probably my two best artworks of 2025. Tsuruno and Yachiyo outfit swap. I'm really happy with how the emotion captured in the sketch shows through in the final art.
I'm writing this at 2 am so bare with me. Earlier today while writing my headcanon Tindoiimu x Soohyeon fluff a genius thought, no doubt a stroke of divine inspiration, struck me.
What if Tindoiimu was kept as hostage within the Water Sect rather than the Wind Sect?
Very very long and will assuredly not make sense. Very heavy on my rarepair, Soohyeon x Tindoiimu so be warned.
Basic Premise:
At the end of the war between the Insects and the Alliance, Tindoiimu is taken in by the Water Sect. The justification given is that she would be under the Aegis of the Arbiter herself which would place both extra security and extra scrutiny on the girl.
This doesn't radically change the plot or anything and by my estimation things would play out more or less the same but it adds a whole new dimension to the relationship between Soohyeon and Tindoiimu. This is of great interest to me, the one TindoYeon shipper ever. Here's some basic points I've thought up about how this AU would play out. This is gonna be a lot and rather unfocused but trust me I have way more thoughts on this rattling in my head.
-Maeok and to a lesser extent the Water Sect as a whole is less insanely bigoted towards Tindoiimu. She is not treated with the upmost kindness but Maeok puts up a kind front around her and the guards treat her a smidge nicer.
-Maeok makes an attempt to treat Tindoiimu more like 'family' and treat her almost like a daughter. Tindoiimu is very frigid to this, at the behest of her parents and Nanny. She has to remain dignified and keep up appearances so getting too friendly with the Arbiter might spell trouble for her. She does, however, try her best to amicable.
-Soohyeon is of course a lot closer to Tindoiimu in this AU. Not quite sisters but she has a deep kinship with her. This culminates into a one sided crush on the part of Soohyeon followed by a catastrophic falling out after the events of the Peace Ceremony.
-Juan Yun is still very involved in Tindoiimu's life. He visits the Water Sect frequently for what outwardly seems like an attempt to court Soohyeon but Tindoiimu and Soohyeon both understand he's really trying to get with Tindoiimu. Qing Feng is fine with this because it gets Juan Yun out of his hair often.
-In the beginning Soohyeon is fearful of Tindoiimu. Very hesistant to be around her because of her ingrained resentment towards the Insects. Tindoiimu is similarly frosty towards Soohyeon at the start. As times goes in they both warm up to each other but Tindoiimu is very hesistant about opening up all the way, much to the frustration of Soohyeon.
-Yongyeon is, by contrast, very spiteful towards towards Tindoiimu. She's both stronger than him (whenever they rarely come to blows) and he feels she's monopolizing Soohyeon's presence. This isn't a romantic jealously but more that he's turbo racist. Eventually he does gain some sympathy towards Tindoiimu but hostility still remains.
-Soohyeon takes to fighting on behalf of Tindoiimu quite often giving her a certain reputation around the Sect. If someone makes trouble for Tindoiimu while Soohyeon is around they'll often face retribution by her hands. Tindoiimu will often, in turn, chastise Soohyeon for doing this as she feels it hurts the public perception of both of them.
-Soohyeon grows to sort of idolize Tindoiimu in a certain way. Seeing the facade she puts up as an example of what is expected of her as a woman and as royalty. She admires the ways in which Tindoiimu seems so effortlessly skilled, dignified, and beautiful. As she begins to understand the ways in which Tindoiimu suffers to keep up this persona she looks inwards at what that means to her.
-Soohyeon's idolization in the end culminates in her developing one-sided romantic feelings towards Tindoiimu. She finds herself deeply caring about Tindoiimu and always looking for her. The understanding that what she feels is very 'wrong' is not lost on Soohyeon but she cannot help but to feel this way.
-Soohyeon is unconsciously VERY obvious with her pining but Tindoiimu is so emotionally shunted she doesn't pick up on it. Tingko sort of understands but she's homophobic (joke).
-Tindoiimu in turn does not believe that she is deserving of all the affection that Soohyeon heaps upon her. She rationalizes this in a number of incongruous ways. That she is only doing this out of pity and obligation or that Soohyeon really doesn't understand her or the insects and that's why she so readily joins with her.
-Tindoiimu mirrors Soohyeon's idolization with a sort of deep envy. She sees how Soohyeon gets to live a life that had been stripped from her and get help but to envy that. Tindoiimu understands that Soohyeon was only a child when the war ended so she doesn't place blame on her, just envious.
-Tindoiimu doesn't share the same romantic feelings initially but she gradually sees Soohyeon as 'someone special'. She's distanced herself from her own emotions so much that she can't even understand what she feels.
-Tindoiimu's envy similarly morphs into a confusing jealousy. She has an innermost desire to stay with Soohyeon but can't reconcile that with her desire for revenge. Soohyeon is the one beastman who has always selflessly cared for her and is the only person she really feels 'at home' with besides Tingko. The marriage scene takes on a whole new meaning here as its Tindoiimu feeling intensely jealous that two important people in her life are being 'taken away' from her. Soohyeon's plea here takes on a more desperate tone, she knows that Tindoiimu is caring person at heart but can see where her anger comes from clearly. Soohyeon can clearly see her conflict and understands better than anyone why she's acting like this and is even treading down the same path as her (even if Tindoiimu doesn't know yet). Soohyeon does however believe there is a way forward, where they could salvage the rotting Alliance, and wants to share that dream with her.
-Soohyeon's bewitchment is a lot more of a personal thing to Tindo in this AU. When Soohyeon first gets bewitched she immediately shuts herself off from everyone, including Tindoiimu. Outwardly she expresses a little relief that she is being left alone but feels a deep sadness without Soohyeon around. Soon after she announces her engagement to Juan Yun (part of my hc that she agreed to the marriage as a way to hide her appearance) as well which further brews these conflicting emotions in Tindoiimu. After Soohyeon gets her charm and allows herself to be a little closer with other people she still feels distant to Tindoiimu but not knowing why this is happening finally forces her to grapple with her feelings towards Soohyeon.
-Soohyeon would consider revealing her identity as a bewitcher to Tindoiimu earlier but considers herself far too 'damned' to do so. She doesn't want to burden Tindoiimu further with the knowledge as it might be used against her. This turns into Soohyeon questioning the validity of her own emotions towards Tindoiimu.
-When the reveal actually happens at Hot Spring Street Tindoiimu feels distinctly more betrayed by it. This feeling confuses even Tindoiimu herself as she just took the fact that Soohyeon was always open with her for granted. This causes her to look inward more and come to the understanding that she must have been suffering this whole time. This really messes with Tindoiimu's head as she realizes that she couldn't even help someone who she deeply cared about because she was too stuck in her ways.
-The massacre plays out more or less the same but it's a lot more painful of an event for them both as a result of their deeper understanding of each other. In the aftermath Tindoiimu 'cuts off' their relationship with each other which deeply pains Soohyeon. It is a lot more deeply personal to Soohyeon now and she takes it REALLY badly as a parallel to how Tindoiimu acts after the semi-finals. She does not even attempt to excuse what she did (again as a parallel to Tindoiimu) but tries to seek atonement in 'unhealthy' ways. Do not ask what I mean by this, just think about it yourself.
-When they confront each other in the Semi-finals it's a very somber affair. Soohyeon is so consumed by her guilt she ends up losing rather terribly. Tindoiimu, sort of reflexively, tries to offer her a degree of comfort upon seeing how absolutely messed up she is. That's when the soldiers walk in and we get The Scene. It plays out the same but instead of Soohyeon blaming Tindoiimu she understands why she did it but hoped that things could have turned out differently. This REALLY hurts Tindoiimu, more so than her lines in canon as she knows that Soohyeon truly believed this and how much she suffered to get here and understanding the depth of her own betrayal.
-The following scene and the chat between Tindo and Pang take on an even more dire tone. Tindoiimu understands Soohyeon better than anybody and knows that this was the decision she'd always make here. It eats away at her constantly as she has sent the one person who truly did love her to die. That in her callous pursuit of revenge she's lost the things that meant the world to her.
That's all I'm willing to stomach writing for now but I have a million ideas and headcanons brewing in my head about this. If you read this far I love you dearly and we should make out sloppy style sometime soon.
I think this was peak TindoYeon posting tbh. I read it now and go 'wow how did I do this'. I think it's the most distilled down to its core TindoYeon post I've made and incapsulates much of what I love and think about them.
Oh. Valentines is coming up. I should have wrote something for the blorbos but I've been so down in the dumps since Wednesday that haven't been able to muster much of an effort.
I don't think I should try to belabor the point but today we got kinda definitive confirmation of Sdorica ceasing development and going into maintenance mode for the near future.
It sucks and hurts, it hurts me a lot, but it's something I've kinda expected for awhile now and with the AI stuff I can't say they didn't have it coming. It's still a massive bummer though that we'll never get to see the end of this wonderful story and I'll never get my Soohyeon MZ pre-bewitchment. So many things I'll never get a conclusion for, so many things I wish could have seen. It's all so tragic.
I'll still post infrequently and maybe I'll do a full reread of the story but I don't know how long I can hold out, or how long I should hold out, but my love for the game will, despite everything, never go away. I have a few fics that may or may not come out at the very least, this news has galvanized me to do at least that much. Maybe I'll rebrand into a PM or R1999 account or whatever or commit even harder to making Soohyeon my personal super cool blorbo. Whatever may come, I'll always be here and Sdorica will always have a special place in my lonesome heart.
Via Soul! And to anybody who had this type of love, whether it's still in your heart or something long gone, I hope wherever the wind takes you next will treat you well and that you keep the spirit of this game and all its artistry in your heart forever.
Thinking about some sort of TindoYeon rematch fight......
The circumstances of this encounter matter of course but my especially angsty idea is that they meet while Tindoiimu is still on the run and Soohyeon thinks she did all that. Tindoiimu could just flee but her guilt about failing Soohyeon drives her to try and approach her. She tells the rest of Morgan's Marvelous Circus to hide and run off if things take a turn for the worst. Sophie tries to pry a little but quickly comes to understand what this means to Tindoiimu so she backs off.
Tindoiimu carefully approaches, hands up, and tries to apologize first and foremost. The thought passed her by that maybe she should try to explain the truth to Soohyeon. Tindoiimu has no way of proving herself and doesn't believe anybody would believe her without evidence. Soohyeon responds in a kind of stilted manner, that there is no room for apologies any longer and that Tindoiimu must be brought to pay for what she has done. She speaks the words very firmly but the conviction behind them is anything but. Tindoiimu tries to defuse the situation a little but Soohyeon brings the ultimatum down on her that she either surrenders or fights, and Tindoiimu chooses to fight.
Soohyeon fights here in an uncharacteristically aggressive style. Her usual style is very graceful to the point it almost looks like a dance she performs in lockstep with her opponent. This time she's channeling a lot of unresolved anger and frustration into her attacks, making them less fluid but making them much stronger.
There was always a small hope in Soohyeon's heart that Tindoiimu might strive down a path of peace. That she would do what was right even if it hurt her and that they could work together, hand I hand, towards a brighter future. This dream was destroyed long ago but it is only through this encounter is it really over and that deeply troubles her. Her aggressive combat is a reflection of those emotions. It goes without saying she isn't trying to kill either, or even trying to win the fight. Her direct blows are just that, an outpouring of her heart and heartbreak.
Tindoiimu is usually a pretty aggressive fighter herself but now she fights with a counterattack style. She deflects and redirects Soohyeon's attacks to land her own strikes in, keeping distance between them the entire time using her staff. Soohyeon is still nimble enough that Tindoiimu struggles to avoid her attacks so she has to resort to deflecting. Soohyeon is still freakishly strong as well so even when properly dealt with Tindoiimu still ends up taking chip damage through the fight.
Tindoiimu has resigned herself as being some sort of slave of fate in some sense. She cannot change what she has done and the path before her seems ever narrow, all she can do is bare what her actions have wrought. This manifests in her more defensive style, eager to take blow after blow because she thinks she deserves it. She hurt Soohyeon, she hurt everyone, a few gashes and torn bits of clothing aren't close to what she's caused others. At the same time she keeps fighting instead of surrending, because there exists a faint hope buried so deeply in her heart that maybe there is still a way to that hopeful future. Now that Tindoiimu has people depending on her, wishing for her happiness, she can't back down anymore and has to keep fighting.
The fight is a brutal slug fest to the onlookers (the whale has to look away) where neither side seems to ever cede or gain any ground. Tindoiimu tries to mutter out half apologies during the melee but Soohyeon shuts herself out of listening to them, only focusing on the strikes of her fans. She is afraid if she does her conviction will waver and once again the butterfly will slip out of her reach. Soohyeon gets fatigued quicker but Tindoiimu is substantially more injured from having withstood so many blows. They're both bloodied, with clothes in tatters locked in an almost dead heat. Soohyeon, however, seizes upon Tindoiimu momentarily lowering her guard and knocks her own onto the floor. She stamps her foot onto her chest and points the blade edge of her fan towards Tindoiimu's neck.
Soohyeon looks down at her and asks one thing "Why?". Tindoiimu tries to turn her eyes away but the blade pricks her skin, Soohyeon wants her to look back while she speaks. Tindoiimu can't explain the true story in a curt way and in a sense it doesn't even matter. Her warpath brought her to the tree and what difference did it make that she changed her mind at the last possible moment and Juan Yun came in to renege that decision? So she thinks a little bit, the blade still shakily pressed against her throat, a heel crushing her ribs, and while bleeding out slowly.
"It took me too long to recognize the love I held for the people of the east and for-" the blade draws a prick of blood as it pushes slightly deeper which quiets Tindoiimu. Soohyeon looks on the verge of tears, the words inspiring mixed feelings within her. Soohyeon was never one to easily fall for a lie but she believes what Tindoiimu says without question, and it burns her. Soohyeon always wondered upon the "What if" of having confessed sooner and this seemed like a confirmation of her deepest regret. She doesn't want to hear what comes at the end of that sentence for if it's what she thinks it is she would be unable to bear that pain. Tindoiimu senses that and merely accepts her fate instead of continuing. She said all that she felt was necessary to say, all that she could have said that meant anything at all to somebody she once cared so deeply about.
BOOM
A smoke bomb goes off right on top of Soohyeon, dazing her for long enough that a torrent of water is enough to knock her off her feet and off Tindoiimu.
Morgan's Marvelous Circus never forgets a member of the crew, even a temporary one and so the quickly make off with the injured Tindoiimu before Soohyeon can come to her senses. Soohyeon tries to give chase but between the physical and emotional toll she finds herself unable to. It's all just so painful. She just falls down onto the floor and starts crying. Weeping. Why? That's all she can think. Why.
Tindoiimu isn't sure what was gained or lost from that fight. Closure? Not quite. Catharsis? Never. Resignation? One the contrary, she felt a greater desire to continue forward. Maybe what it took was a blade at her throat to make her reconsider the cracked steps of the crooked road she took. To cherish the fond memories she had and the people, some who are only memories now, who made that miserable life worth living.
I was stuck someplace with nothing to do so I made this image of what Abu-se-ken (vocaloid producer) songs fit my Sdorica blorbos.
I don't imagine many people will get this at all but you can give the songs a listen. The songs are fairly 'dark' so TW for everything horrible in the book if you decide to read the lyrics/know Japanese but particular warnings for Sexual Assault and Suicide. Abuse Archive on YouTube has all these songs with lyrics and the Vocaloid Lyrics wiki does as well.
Now here are just the songs if you don't want to get the lyrics~
Weeee bit late with this but in case you forgot, a slice of Cheesecake was Willow's sole allowed indulgence after a competition. So this sorta symbolizes how Willow is learning, bit by bit, to love herself more and is beginning to build a new life, as symbolized by Flutterpage coming to her side.
Well either that or she won the finals but I like the former interpretation of way more
