va tutto bene

Drawing weird and useless life lessons from common hobbies and events. (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','https://www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-79556754-1', 'auto'); ga('send', 'pageview');

[benewashere]

Dead Ends.

If you’re already working, or is at least aware of what a work environment is like, you’ve probably heard of the term “a dead-end job”. 

They’re basically jobs where the chance of promotion would never be a possibility. Often associated with low-pay, long hour jobs, a dead-end job is something that one would rather not experience.

Why bring up the topic, you ask?

A friend of mine recently came to me, asking about the work that I do. Passing it off as plain old curiosity, I went ahead and told my friend what I do on a daily basis. Being curious myself, I asked why bring up the topic all of a sudden.

“I’m just lost right now. You know what I mean.” My friend said.

At that point, I realized something.

Will we ever be satisfied, no matter what we do?

Sure, you can be lucky enough to land your dream job on the first try. But will it be enough? You can cook using the rarest ingredients. You can take photos of places never before seen. You can have the world fall under your spell with the stroke of a pen. You can craft clothing that would only be worn by the most esteemed.

Every. Single. Day.

But how can you be sure that you will never grow tired of it?

A point when the thing you want to eat the most is a greasy hunk of cholesterol from your fast food chain. A point when the only place you truly are happy is when you’re lying down on your own bed. A point when that one mindless show on TV is the thing that entertains you the most. A point when you wouldn’t trade all of the world’s most luxurious clothes for your smelly old hoodie.

There’s a saying that goes: “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Makes sense, right? But I don’t think we should turn our passion into work. Instead, turn your work into something you’re passionate about. It shouldn’t be about choosing a job you love, but rather turning your job into something you love instead. And whatever your “real” passion is, it has to be yours alone; no one should ever benefit from it more than yourself.

You can always look for a job if you can’t turn it into something you love. But that, of course, is just my two cents.

[benewashere]

Two Thousand and Eight Reasons

So, I’m back!

Just like I said I would... 5 months ago.

I honestly had no idea what I was going to write here; if I should’ve continued the old format I used here, or if it was alright to try a different approach.

Then, it suddenly hit me: I wanted to clean my room.

An act that may have seemed completely out of place at the time, gave me just the perfect material I needed to get back on my feet. So, here goes!

-----

While I was cleaning up my room, I found a little green notebook that I never thought would appear before my eyes again, because I was pretty sure I left it behind when we moved house a couple of years back.

That thin green filler had a piece of me inside it; a piece of me that existed seven years ago.

A time when walls didn’t exist.

Those special moments when the stroke of a pen on a pristine sheet of paper was the most satisfying thing.

Back when words were the thing that made me feel like I was something.

I can’t even remember if I had written this piece with a particular someone in mind, or if it was a love letter to the girl I have yet to meet.

The words were simple and non-pretentious, but they all conveyed a meaning of a humble truth. No tricks, no loopholes, no pretenses.

It was simply a young man confessing his love for something he knows he can never have. Finding this piece and reading it again after so many years. only one thought crossed my mind:

I may never be able to write like this again.

-----

Two Thousand and Eight Reasons 

I always love it when your eyes meet mine, As bright as the sun, or the stars that shine, A gaze that could bring even the gods to their knees, An undisturbed island beyond the seven seas.

Your hands, lips, and the color of your hair, The way you stare is never without care, Everything about you is so perfectly dressed, Even the way your forehead furrows when you’re stressed.

Someone who can release me from my gloom, Even flowers are jealous of your bloom, A calm wind over a world that isn’t, You made me feel alive when sometimes I didn’t.

But the truth is, to you I am a ghost, Not realizing what I love the most, Because no matter how much I refuse to see, That smile of yours was never really meant for me.

[benewashere]

A slight change in format

Hi all,

Been a while, eh?

Back when I started this blog, I promised myself that I’ll write at least one post a month. I managed to do so for about five months, but then the pressures of getting a job hit me and I had to stop for a while, thinking that once that was out of the way, maybe I can get back to writing stuff here again.

 Well, it didn’t.

 I went through a lot of shit these past nine months, some of which were fun; most of which weren’t. Thing is, I never stopped writing. I have a ton of drafts just itching to be posted here, but I can’t seem to do just that. I don’t know why, though.

 I think it’s about the format. I don’t want to go into detail here, but I may have to change a few things so I can bounce back.

 I’ll start posting soon, promise!

[benewashere]

"The Spur of the Moment"

"Do we make the decisions? Or do the decisions make us?" - Bene's Shower Thoughts, 2014

Kissing her just because you felt like it,

challenging someone to a fight because you got unbelievably mad,

or telling him you love him because you're about to fall down a pool of hot lava and die. 

They're all decisions made on a whim, without thinking about how it affects the future. Things you decided to do "on the spur of the moment."

Depending on the situation, it may yield the most unexpected result that would ultimately please you, or something you'd end up regretting for the rest of your life. It's almost always the latter. And this is what you'd probably look like after realizing you've made a bad decision:

And that's what we'd be focusing on today. About how your whimsical decision wrecked someone to their very core, and to narrow it down even more, let's talk about love.

"What's the worst thing that could happen?"

We've all made decisions that way. Our judgment was clouded, common sense was nowhere to be seen, and time was definitely not on our side. We decided to go for it. "What's the worst thing that could happen?" we tell ourselves, not knowing the consequences in store.

We kiss. We hold hands. We do things that would suggest something to the other, but not to us. No. We don't care. At least for now.

"It's basically a job interview"

I always liken those decisions to a job interview.

Where the interviewers (us) conduct interviews (decisions made on a whim) with the applicant (that someone)

After the interview, we go into deliberation (thinking long and hard whether or not we really like that person or not), and will eventually contact the applicant to tell them:

that they've passed (we really do like them)

to come back for a second interview (we're still not sure, so let's make more decisions on a whim that would involve them)

that they failed the interview (just straight up tell them we don't like them)

Or the worst result, because it happens even in REAL job interviews:

ignore them, and in the long run, make that person hate us.

We just lost someone who we could potentially be spending the rest of our loves with. But more importantly, we lost a friend.

"In conclusion"

If you're on the receiving end of a whimsical decision (which you would notice if they suddenly ignored you), try to hold back from doing something stupid as well. If they continue to ignore you (or act cold for that matter), by all means, give up already. It's a lost cause!

We know we're idiots for doing that, but you're making it harder for everyone if you're just there waiting for a sign or something.

As for the other end...

Decisions made on a whim are inescapable, no matter what we do.

But if you have just an ounce of compassion, think about how it will affect the other person, and try to understand how they'd feel. You should have the time to think about that, at least.

[benewashere]

Lessons from the "golden hour".

“All you can do is wait. There is a right time for everything. Like the ebb & flow of tides. No one can change them.” ― Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

After countless trials and errors, and after a month, I've finally managed to think of a good subject to write about. Technically, I could write about anything I want to. But that's the fun thing about life, you need to constantly challenge yourself to improve.

What is the "golden hour" you ask? Well, a quick Google search would give you an answer, but in the simplest explanation possible, it's that time of day when you bring out anything with a lens attached to it and start taking pictures of the sky. If you still didn't get it, well...

The golden hour usually begins at 5 in the afternoon and lasts for about an hour or so (duh). It's when the sky becomes a huge canvass painted with surreal colors. It's counterpart, the "blue hour", which begins at 5 in the morning and lasts for an hour, is just as wonderful.

(the golden hour...

...and the blue hour. Now do you get it?)

Taking photos during these hours have somehow lost their "feel". With companies continuously improving image quality in smartphone cameras, along with automatic settings and annoying filters. It's become a soulless, lifeless attempt by the others to easily fish for likes on whatever social media site they're in. But I digress, or do I?

Have I just turned this into a rant post? I honestly did not mean for it to be one, but the reason is because I want people to savor the moment they're in. It's not everyday you get to see a nice sunrise or sunset, and if you do, it's not the same as the one you saw before. It's always a new sight to see.

I remember when I was still learning how to take those kinds of photos using a proper camera. Every single second was important. Miss just a few, and your photo will not be as good.

During those days, i climbed up to the roof my house as early as 3, whether it be in the morning or in the afternoon. As soon as I did, I would start planning where to place my camera, and adjust the settings. After that, it was a waiting game, to wait for that moment to come. At times, I was successful, and sometimes I fell asleep on the roof, missing the chance I prepared for.

So maybe this is what I'm really trying to say: There’s nothing wrong with waiting for a chance to come by, but if you are, make sure you’re prepared for when it comes knocking at your doorstep. Otherwise, you’d just be wasting your time.

[benewashere]

Remembering the first step.

"While some might tell you to never look back on the past, others will tell you to always remember where you came from. Humanity is confusing." - Bene’s Shower Thoughts, 2014

If you're planning on practicing photography, or just want to take "good" photos, the first thing you do is buy or convince your parents to buy you a fancy camera (DSLR). Once that part's out of the way, then you start taking photos of just about anything, from food to flowers to trash bins, then you convert the colors to black and white, feel like you're an incredibly artistic person, and show the photo to everyone. All photographers I know started that way, even me of  course.

(Photos like this one)

But as you keep on taking photos, you start to distinguish the good photos from the bad ones. You learn various technical aspects like proper lighting, aperture, shutter speed, and whatnot. Slowly, but surely, you'd take lesser photos because you can see what would make a good photo even if you don't have a camera with you. You would start developing your own style, and even put your watermark on every good photo you take, most likely something along the lines of "<insert name here> photography"

(I don't like watermarking my photos, though)

Like in my last post, I'm obviously trying to relate this with a life lesson of some sort, if you've guessed that much, then good for you. As time passes, we start to expect more and more from ourselves, and from others as well.

"I don't want things to be always the same." "I want change." "I want spontaneity" "I want to see improvements."

Sometimes, so much so that we start to lose sight of why we got into it in the first place. We look for satisfaction, for that sense of accomplishment. That every time we go out, we've changed for the better once we got back. We've set such high standards that we limit ourselves from doing the things that we used to love. And it applies to almost everything.

You stopped doing something childish because you're now an "adult".

You expected more than just flowers from your other half because you saw a video of someone doing much more than just give flowers.

You stopped taking photos of random things because "you know better".

Seeing improvements are always nice, but demanding for it doesn't help. I guess that's why I don't like people who are too demanding, but that's another story.

So why not look back and try to remember why it made you so happy in the first place?

[benewashere]

Guitar strings, and new things.

“Closing your eyes isn't going to change anything. Nothing's going to disappear just because you can't see what's going on.” ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Well, it's that time of the season again.

The strings I put on Caroline (my guitar) around 3 months ago have lost their sound so I figured that it's about time I changed them. Though some people just go on and change their guitar strings, my process takes a little longer.

After removing the strings, I remove the rust off the steel parts of my guitar with a rust remover. Then I use a damp cloth to wipe dirt off the body of my guitar, and I use lemon oil to remove the grime and to maintain my fret board (the neck part where you press your fingers). Only then can I put new strings on my guitar. Everyone who's experienced a string change will know that the guitar will sound incredibly bad, that's because the strings still have to settle on the body. Random strumming helps it settle faster, or putting stress on the strings.

But enough with the guitar talk. What am I really getting at?

I've noticed that some people have a hard time accepting new things in their life, and more often than not, they never embrace it. Sometimes, they won't even try to change. They'll immediately say how something just doesn't fit them. 

A good example would be superstitious people, like how my mother is. She believes in things like how you shouldn't clean during nighttime because you'd also "wipe clean" your blessings. Although there's nothing wrong with being superstitious, it can sometimes get in the way of doing logical, or productive things. What if I wanted to clean at night because my room was so dirty? I don't blame her though, she's gotten used to it that she keeps following them even when there's no scientific explanations for them.

We are all afraid of stepping out from our comfort zones. That right there is a fact. It's just that we've gotten so used to something that it's become a part of us, something vital that once removed, we cannot function normally anymore. 

Heraclitus once said that the only constant thing in this world is change. Yes, it sounds so cliché, but it's still true. The world you live in now is not the same world that you lived in yesterday. Tomorrow would be different too. You might do the same thing everyday, but the world around you most certainly does not.

Everyone experiences change. And each person has their own way of handling it. Some get used to it without a problem, some reject it without a second thought, and some make the necessary adjustments for it to fit them.

Some people even break down in a corner and cry, but that's another story.

Yes, change is scary, but it's for the best. Change wouldn't happen if it's not for the best.

Like changing guitar strings, it won't give you what you want immediately. You have to wait for a few minutes, or hours, sometimes for days, weeks, months, even years. You just need to remember that you WILL get used to it at some point.

So why not give it some time?

[benewashere]

A eulogy to something special.

"How is it that when we finally find something we truly love, that thing disappears?" - Bene's Shower Thoughts, 2014 I just found out that one of my favorite shows, Community, got cancelled. For something that I just finished watching recently, the sadness I felt upon hearing the news was incredibly unusual. I can't clearly recall as to how I found out about Community. I only remember watching some vlog (I can't even remember which one) on youtube that talked about how he liked Community and that his favorite episode was Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. This was around the time that How I Met Your Mother ended and the finale left me incredibly disappointed. I said to myself: "Hey, why not try and watch this one?" And so I did. The show took me by surprise. Never have I laughed that way before because of a show. It was original, it was fresh. it had a unique sense of humor that not everybody will understand or relate to, especially if you're not into pop culture. The critics' reviews for each episode were high, but it got a low viewer count and met its demise.  I was happy. I've finally found the show that perfectly suits my taste. It was like a match made in heaven. But alas, all good things must come to an end. How come, though? They say that it's dangerous if you become too happy, because the universe will eventually balance it out and give you a ton of shit.

Or maybe because we only start to appreciate things when we know they won't last much longer.

That fleeting final moment is blissful. The feeling is sublime.

Maybe that's why rainbows, flowers, and butterflies are beautiful. We know that we won't be able to appreciate them for long. But who knows? Here's to hoping that the things we love will come back to us.

[benewashere]

Why "looking for love" isn't such a bad thing to do.

"The next best thing to having a superpower is falling in love." - Bene's Shower Thoughts, 2014 There's a saying that goes: "Don't look for love, let love find you." And while it's a practical phrase to live by, it doesn't work for some people. Like me, for instance. I've tried many times to live by it, but it's just not working out for me that well. "I'll never look for love again. I'll stop chasing after it." - bullshit. The best thing about having the feeling of being in love is that it gives us strength to do things we never thought we'd do (Like cook for someone, and other stuff I'd rather not recall). Being in love somehow feels similar to believing in a god, with the whole "I draw strength to do things from an imaginary pool of hope" deal. This is the point where I start to realize things. When I was in love, I did things that my past self would deem ridiculous. That all too familiar feeling of infatuation allowed me to do well in my studies, helped me do my chores, made me much less of an asshole than I am today, and it even helped me wash the dishes and clean my room. Heck, it even got me visiting the chapel in my university ON A DAILY BASIS. Folks, that's the power of love right there. It essentially made me want to better myself.

But alas, all good things must come to an end. The feeling of infatuation disappears, along with all that self-improvement and whatnot. And I regress back to my old self, albeit a little more evil.

So looking for love isn't such a bad deal, you don't need to feel bad or think you're desperate if you're doing it. It's perfectly fine, especially for those who don't believe in self-motivation and all that crap.