SLOTH

BENJAMIN JACK BROOK. Contemporary Art & Illustration student. Year One. Something died in heaven. ☮

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YEAR TWO BLOG LINK

http://brookscontemporary.tumblr.com/

This is the link for my year two blog for my course 'Contemporary Art and Illustration'.  As it is a new year I felt a new digital start would be appropriate.  Please follow the link to view my thoughts on the subject, briefs and lectures as well as my year two studio and contextual studies work.

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The conclusion of year one, a little review for the end.

Many of my more ‘knowledge’ based developments I feel occurred due to the Contextual studies segment of the course. Despite some uncontrollable disturbance with this part of the course this year I still feel I have strongly benefited from its tasks and believe my intellectual understanding of Art and Illustration has become slightly broader. To start through the lectures and seminars alone I have been able to come across artists and works I have not yet seen before, and learn about artistic movements and events I had again unheard of before. At the start of the course I was nervous about how I may cope, feeling that although it sounded like something I would enjoy I would be hindered by my previous course choices. Every subject being commercially based, never allowing for creativity for creativity’s sake. However now that worry is almost removed totally as from looking into artistic movements and the semiotics and components of both art and Illustration, mostly illustration, I feel my history of studying design has aided my understanding partly, something I am heavily grateful for. I also feel that, from studying design (namely graphic design) I have understood the ideas of ‘appealing’ layouts and public display when projects such as the manifestos are concerned, a trick which has aided me greatly.

In a way the projects of the contextual studies segment (the blog, manifesto brief and the essay) have been the projects I have most enjoyed, strangely enough; due to the fact they were all new to me. Before beginning this course I had never looked at a blog or a manifesto, yet alone form one, and I had not written a straight-up essay since high school. These projects, although challenging at times, have definitely helped me in terms of my writing ability, allowing me to strengthen it greatly, as well as encouraging me to discover and learn about artists and illustrators I had not heard of before (or in the case of Damien Hirst, admired but didn’t really know the context of his work) and also learn about myself as a person and creative practitioner. The manifesto was the main contributor to this as it involved us forming manifestos around our personal, creative, beliefs and thus, when looking into my own interests, I found out my biggest passion is story telling. Although I think I already slightly new this, this development has benefited me as a person. Even though my manifesto, about the importance of narrative within art and life, may not be the best this development in my personal interest has been very revelational and may be something I should aim to develop and peruse in future projects and works.

Being encouraged to read more academic texts is the final point I have really enjoyed about the context element of the courses first year. Until this course I had never read through an academic text concerning art or illustration as the use of complex language always scared me off, but from the book reviews and essay of this unit I have learnt to love them. Hearing the different writing styles, opinions and views of artists, authors and journalists alike holds a great amount of mental wonder and stimulation. I have always enjoyed reading but through these projects I have found a new genre to enjoy, one which will help me develop my understanding of artistic terms and writing styles too. However despite this and the other positive elements of the contextual segment I have enjoyed, I still am uncomfortable reading some artistic texts due to the heavy use of ‘creative’ language. Because of this I feel I need to read more academic texts and expand my knowledge of language, thus I should become more prepared for future work such as essays and reading tasks.

When looking over my progress throughout the first year of the studio practice module I am confident in saying I have developed for the better. Whilst looking over possible University courses at college I wasn’t sure in which direction I wished to take myself, only knowing I wished to delve into the creative community. I wished for a course that would serve to help me personally, strengthening my creative skills and allowing me to find what I wish to do as a career. This course became that course upon my interview, when I saw what was offered and what I could do.

I have not been disappointed.

The thing I have loved mostly about the studio practice has been the opportunity to experiment with different and new media, from drawing to sculpture to moving image. I have heavily enjoyed playing with all these forms and finding which ones appeal to me more. Through this experimentation I have also gained more confidence with creative practices and feel I have strengthened my skills when presentation, detail and meaning are concerned. Also through the idea of displaying ideals through a visual ‘voice’ I have been able to find what issues and topics mostly appeal to me, the resulting ones being the idea of human progression versus death, the artefacts of life and the very consequences of human presence and behaviour in the world. From this I believe that in the future years of this course and whatever practice I end up within I will be able to find and focus upon areas that truly inspire me, hopefully increasing the overall quality of any work I will and may produce.

I have also really enjoyed learning about boundaries within works and practices, seeing when one media or are (such as sculpture or Contemporary Art) transforms into another (such as Installation and Illustration.) This concept of boundaries also cropped up within the face of just one practice, mainly drawing. The most memorable ‘lecture’ of the studio practice, to me, was at the start of the year in which Jill covered the idea of drawing. Here she tried to remove us from the stereotypical idea, that drawing is pencil on paper, and open us up to a wider one in which drawing is anything where two elements have collided to produce an outcome. From taking this knowledge in and putting it into practice, via using things such as photography and sculpture to form ‘drawings’, I believe I have greatly expanded my knowledge on the topic and have learnt things which again will aid me greatly in the future.

I feel that despite these so called triumphs I still have not yet found where I belong in the creative industry, if I belong there at all. In the coming years of this course I wish to solve this, using both the contextual studies projects and the studio practice to narrow the path in which I walk, finding the one solid outcome at the end. I do hope that by further experimenting, increasing my knowledge and ever increasing what skills I may have I will find where I belong eventually. It will happen.

It will.

Unless, of course, I do not belong on one path but on many, a player in the games of several practices. In which case that is fine too.

From this drive I will also continue to carry my aim of improving my creative skills, such as drawing, and learning more about them, maybe even taking on new ones. In the end, from this course, I hope that I will have greatly strengthened my skills as opposed to when I started and will stand atop that singular desire that I know I want.

Holding onto the goal of the place where I want to be.

That if now is an endless wonder of mismatched dreams and ideals and visuals the future will be that paradise of an island hidden within a raging sea.

My goal which I will have finally found.

And that moment, it will truly be beautiful.

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Studio Practice 2. Byram arcade work exhibition. 'Seen'. Work displayed, images.  With the exhibition set to start on Thursday I believe I have finished the display of my work for all the projects. The exhibitions locations available to us, located within the Byram Arcade, consists of many abandoned shop rooms and living spaces as well as many hallways, staircases and balconies. As the exhibition space travels through several different locations and floors it was decided each project would be displayed in a different location, two locations being provided for each project so that Contemporary and Illustrative works could be further defined. My first selection of work, 'Feeling Sorry', for the deconstruction project has been displayed within an old abandoned living room along side the other, more contemporary, deconstruction pieces. For this project I chose to display the textile dolls and edited images (top left photograph) together as a set, placing them onto two shelving units which already existed within the room. Here I spread my work out on the top two shelves whilst fellow student Megan Bonser displayed hers on the bottom shelf as her work and mine held similar visuals which work well of each other. I really like the homely layout and feelings created, believing such effects follow well with my childish and 'every day life' inspiration points.  The second pieces I decided to display (top right) were the final prints from my drawing project, 'What is beautiful is good' and 'The halo effect' (displayed under one title, 'What is beautiful is good'.) I chose these pieces as I believe they are the strongest drawings I produced and work well as a mixed set and fit well with the space provided, displayed across several shelves of different heights inside an old shop. The above spot lights provide strong focusing light on the pieces and naturally showcase them. Whilst displaying these pieces I noticed that one of the shelves had two hooks attached underneath it. I decided to play off this already existing element of the space by hanging the paint covered condoms used to form my drawings from them via fishing wire, creating the allusion they are floating. I also placed the jar they were kept in above them on the shelf as this too held traces of the prints creation. By expanding my drawings using the artefacts of the pieces as well as the natural exhibition space I feel this exhibition layout has become very effective and strong indeed.  When it came to my reading and responding work (bottom left) I struggled with finding an appropriate space that didn't hinder the work. As I wanted the pieced to be displayed on the floor to create fragility most spaces dwarfed them too much. This was when I discovered a locked door within the same shop space which displayed my drawing work and also served to display our reading and responding projects. Again by playing off this already existing element of the exhibition space by placing my drawings around the doors base and making a small tag (reading: "A flight to nowhere") and hanging it around the doorknob, thus increasing the display in visual height, the display became more vocally strong and effective whilst still holding the original fragility I wanted it to. Also when the tag is read the message it displays blends with the visual and narrative of the locked door, creating the idea as to what is located behind it. This very idea insinuates a feeling of anticipation as to what is hidden and a slight fearful atmosphere to the unknown, ideas which walk hand in hand with those of anxiety which was my original starting point for this project. Overall 'If you come down to the woods' is one of my favourite exhibition displays due to these reasons.  Finally it came to displaying my manifesto 'Poseidon' which is pictured bottom right. This display was on of the easier ones to create. As the manifestos were only given one single corridor to be displayed in this display was more simple to create. It was decided most of the manifestos would be displayed against the old windows as these were spaces heavily overlooked and undesired by others. Here I propped my framed written manifesto against the bottom of the window panel I was given (attaching the top to the window via tape so that it wouldn't become loose and fall) and sticking my drawing to the space above it. As the paper is very thin and delicate, tearing easily, it was decided, due to the colour and aesthetics of the manifesto as a whole, the drawing would just be ruggedly taped to the window via masking tape 'X's. This helped enforce the home-made writer them-age of the manifesto pieces as well as bringing new materials into it, thus alluding to newer possible back stories and narratives as to how and why this drawing became to be as it is. This idea again goes alongside my manifestos theme of storytelling and encouraging narratives within public use, thus increasing the effect of the piece.  Overall I am very happy with my displays for this exhibition and feel I have been able to learn and grow from using such a vast and interesting space. I will take points I have gathered here forward for future use also; I hope that from this experience the overall display quality of any future work I may do will be increased!  

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Manifesto project update. Drawing final. From the previous lecture by Michael Belshaw about our manifesto projects I decided to expand my finished manifesto piece via drawing. As my pieces are installation based (most likely being displayed through photography) I thought that it may be possible not all viewers will be captured by such an effect. Thus I decided to expand the media of my manifesto further by creating the above drawing piece. Slightly larger than A3 the drawing is created from ink and graphite and features a more surreal visual of my physical bird cage sculpture/installation piece 'Aquarium'. I chose to display the piece in drawing this way to capture its more surreal elements, focusing further on my actual written manifesto ('Poseidon') and the narratives and story-like visuals it forms. The drawing embodies the same themes as all the other pieces of my manifesto, dark sea creatures escaping a fragile prison shown via a bird cage. This visual sits on par with my manifestos main narrative, that story telling exists everywhere, within art and outside it, and can break free easily if we would only choose to embrace it more. However the contents of such a force is unknown and changes from person to person, shown by the abstract and dark creatures thus indicating that not much is known. At least not yet. I chose the materials as the brown paper canvas relates to the colouring of my installation pieces and physical framed manifesto however also slightly resembles the rough vintage paper of a writing desk, the ink symbolising that used to form calligraphy.  Overall I am very pleased with this drawing and feel that, although it is not existing to replace my current manifesto and side installation, it exists simply to strengthen my current manifesto pieces, hopefully its style and media reaching out to a wider audience. I feel that when I look at my manifesto from an exhibition point of view this manifesto recreation would suit more, especially if it was displayed alongside my written and framed manifesto. This is due to the 2D drawing imploring the same visuals as the physical installation that it grew from but it's very media of drawing may capture more viewers, as many still don't view physical appropriation as art, where as the 2D form will also allow for practicality and will also look better in the atmosphere of a professional art and illustrative show.   I believe this piece has become more than I thought it would be and although it is not flawless it clearly shows, to me anyway, the strong ideals of my manifesto. All in its little imperfect way. 

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A helpful little lecture

Monday 15th of April. Manifesto and Essay help lecture. 

I am currently happy with my existing manifesto, one which displays my feelings on how important storytelling and creative writing is within art and general life via a poetic/fairy-tale language style. My manifesto is made up of ‘Poseidon’ (the actual framed manifesto) and ‘Aquarium’, a sculptural piece which aims to display the visuals described in the manifesto. Sea creatures and stories entrapped within a fragile bird cage indicating how narratives can be trapped and released everywhere. Together the manifesto and external piece form an installation which is what I wanted for my manifesto. I am still very happy with the results, both objects forming the visual of the content of a writer’s desk, and feel that they complete my intentions for the manifesto project nicely. However this lecture made me think about their display further. It is most likely the manifesto installation will only ever be seen within photography, a media which may not appeal to everyone. Although not designed to replace my existing manifesto pieces, but instead to stretch this project further, I feel I will create a painting/ink drawing of my ‘Aquarium’ piece on brown paper, a material which will relate to the antique style of my actual framed manifesto. This will simply serve as an experiment for me, allowing me to see in what way the display of ‘Aquarium’ works best and, by expanding how it appears in media form, its reach will hopefully be expanded, more people taking interest in it as those who like painting s and drawings may not necessarily like photography or physical installations. Thus my manifesto should hopefully appeal to a larger audience once the drawing/painting is completed. This will also allow me to expand on my manifestos display, giving me the chance to show it just through text, through photography, through a physical installation or through illustration increasing its overall visual and exhibition possibilities.

During this lecture the details of the essay were also covered, instruments which were insanely helpful to me. I have decided to focus my essay on the words Creativity and Appropriation, looking into how a creative use of pre-existing artefacts within contemporary Art can affect the work produced. What positives it holds and also what negatives can be produced, such as issues with copyright laws. I feel my current essay draft is slowly developing into a final outcome well however the information discussed in this lecture, about referencing, bibliographies and structure will help me immensely as, when essays are concerned, I have always thought of myself as weak. Hopefully from this information and practice I can come away from this thought and strengthen my writing capabilities. 

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Drawing Transformations. Final pieces. 'Attraction is a brutal thing.' These are the final drawings created for my Drawing Transformations project. Displayed in two sets "What is Beautiful is Good" (top set) and "The Halo Effect" (bottom set) were both created by dipping latex condoms in different coloured acrylic paint and then printing them onto A3 sheets of white mount board. I chose this method as it was the most successful one I have experimented with so far and allowed for abstract shapes to be formed successfully within the final outcomes. The drawings were inspired by the idea of "When does the human body and sexual imagery become unsuitable in public?" as I have always found this question a strange one. It can be argued the entire basis of existence is to reproduce and to love and to be loved, desires ever singular person holds, however as soon as we see a reference to this process in its raw state (such as sex) we flush and run and hide or shout and become enraged. It was this thought that led me to use condoms to form the prints. These are objects we will all most likely use within our lifespan and are also objects which we are encouraged to use (unless eventual childbirth is desired) however if one is seen in public, unused and discarded a childish uproar is usually created, or embarrassment  and said object is avoided or laughed at. Although this behaviour does not always occur and can be most likely put down to a cultural bias, as it is seen as a norm to act like this here whilst in other societies body exposure is seen as common and not a big deal, I still find it slightly strange. It is like we are all scared to admit what our true desires are and, due to that hiding, we most often do not get them. I feel that these drawing pieces show these thoughts, to me anyway, whilst holding strong and successful visuals. In "What is Beautiful is Good"  purely pink and blue paint was used to produce the drawings (used in a rhythmic and mathematical pattern) referencing stereotypical gender, male and female. In "The Halo Effect" pink, blue, green and yellow paint was used to form the drawings as well as the overlapping of each print, the order changing in each drawing. These strategies have helped strengthen the drawings appeal and although they are simple I feel they still hold great aesthetic impact. The titles of each piece are also the names of 'effects' used in psychology when beauty is concerned, the 'what is beautiful is good' effect meaning that people assume those that hold more attractive qualities are better people than the lesser attractive and the 'halo effect' which means we assume people that hold one 'attractive trait' automatically hold them all. Finally I feel the pieces look best displayed simply wall mounted, possibly lighted by either special positioned lights or just the natural lighting of the room as this allows for the viewer to see them as they are. Overall I am very happy with the work I have produced in this unit and feel I have developed it well, showing my initial points in visual form and meeting my aims. 

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Reading and Responding. Final experimentation 2. 'We all embrace destruction.' This was the second form of final experimentation I created for the Reading and Responding project (the central drawing/painting) , again inspired by my own anxiety and the media of drawing. I was hit by the drive to create this drawing when I was slightly at a loss as to what I wanted to do to further this project and happened upon a certain advert of television. The advert in question was advertising the danger presented to wild tigers, detailing how they may soon become extinct if humanity continues to harm and abuse their bodies for their own gain. I found the advert and the imagery shown, of harmed and murdered tigers, haunting. Within that one visual of a crying tigers face existed both the dark and light of human kind. It showed how we have ravaged and harmed the world around us, displaying our capability for destruction, whilst, within that water eye and matted coat, all the positive things existed too. Our ability to save, to help, to do good and undo the negativities we have caused. I found the visual and its relations beautiful in a sad way I felt that it related to anxiety in a winder sense, the mental disorder causing the victim to be influenced far more by the darkness and brightness of our surrounding world. Of ourselves and others. Of that weeping tiger entrapped within a barbed wire cage. From this I created the above drawing (displaying it with the A3 drawings previously discussed) using again brown paper to form fragility and paints and ink as these materials produced the best colour. I decided to use a fairly cold a bland colour scheme, mainly monochrome, to emphasise an idea of sadness within the drawing which related to the rest of the visuals. A boy far too thin from an age forgotten with the head of a tiger, glassy eyed, holding a wound to the fore head which leaks a black substance which goes all the way through the skull, indicating the idea of death which is supported by the display method of slumping the figure on the ground. I like the simplistic style of the drawing and feel it holds all the visuals and meaning I wanted it too, however it is better as a 'stand alone' piece rather than being combined with my other drawings due to its large scale and use of separate visuals and colour. Although currently unnamed it is one of my favourite pieces produced in this unit and can be seen as a final piece, one which has allowed me to not only experiment with new materials and a scale and shape I have never touched before but also let me display personal feelings and ideas in a visual dimension. Something which I believe has let me expand on how I approach and think about work. 

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Reading and Responding. Final experimentation 1. 'We run from wolfs in the woods.' During this project I have experimented with many different methods, including distorting photography and sculpture, to help visually define the meaning of author Anais Nins quote on the mental disorder of anxiety. After creating small experimental pieces on how others view anxiety I decided two things; I would try and explore drawing further (using Rachel Goodyears work as inspiration) and use it to create visuals based around anxiety and to explore my own feelings of anxiety further. From these aims I created the above ink drawings and painting on two A3 sheets of foam board wrapped in brown package paper, and on a roll of the same paper. I chose the material mainly due to it's colouring, the brown helping define the dark ink and paint whilst giving the pieces a visual 'edge', the paper even referring to a natural environment which is what is pictured in the backdrop of the two ink illustrations. I also chose this material due to its fragility. The painting has become slightly torn and creased throughout it's creation, these effects implying that it is damaged and, although cared for, time has ravaged its appeal. Also by displaying all the images via propping them up against a wall rather than mounting them this idea is again unforced  whilst new visuals of the work being almost unfinished or unloved can be found. All these ideas follow how I think about anxiety, a presence which can constantly bring down life's few triumphs and can constantly be suspended over the sufferer never allowing them to experience life to the fullest. Thus the person becomes 'unfinished' and 'unfulfilled'. Anxiety can also be found within the actual drawings. The far left and right illustrations include pure black colouring, which instantly alludes to shadow and danger, to strengthen the impact of the visuals depicted. The image includes two characters within each illustration, the style of that used in my deconstruction work, which resemble both toys of children but also woodland creatures. If one looks closely a cauldron, fountain, several shaded birds and a background of tree branches and stumps can also be seen. These unexplained qualities can all relate to experience with anxiety, ending up in an scary but familiar place faced with what are perceived to be monsters and nightmarish qualities, however they also form open narratives which mean the viewer can find their own story and meaning within the drawing. The central painting features a suspended white mass, that resembles an animal skull, suspended by ribbons over the headless body of a girl or doll. Again referring to the visuals developed within my deconstruction work this painting follows the idea that anxiety is always present hanging over the head of the victim and reducing them, in this case shown visually by the loss of the models head. Finally all the pieces share the singular visual of running ink, formed through the creation of the drawings, which can be seen as the damage to stability anxiety provides, seeming that the images are destroying themselves or are their raw materials are escaping the situation presented. I entitled this combination of mix media works "What we found whilst Picnicking" referencing the story of the 'teddy bears picnic', a childish relation which, when unpicked, is centred around the idea of fear. Just as these pieces are. 

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Thursday 21st of March. Visiting lecturer Rachel Goodyear. 'I so wish so deeply I could have skill like this.' During this mornings lecture we were visited by Contemporary Artist Rachel Goodyear who mainly specialised in the practice of drawing. I had seen a small segment of Goodyears work before this lecture, having instantly fallen in love with the detailed yet simple textures, visuals and narratives, thus I was very looking forward to delving further into the context of her work. At the start of the lecture Goodyear mentioned that she previously focused more on sculpture rather than drawing but found through working and partaking in exhibitions he drawings, which were previously very intimate and private artefacts, became her main focus. However her drawing practice is still influenced by her history in sculpture.  When talking about her pieces she mentioned that the recurring focuses within her work seem to be the idea of crossing boundaries, defining what is appropriate and when, through the narrative of a combination of human and animal quality visuals the titles of the pieces usually helping strengthen such ideas. She also mentioned that, in narrative terms, she likes to leave ideas open ended so that the viewer of the work can interpret their won meaning into the drawing and its characters. This is an idea I felt heavily interested in as personally I too like keeping any works I form 'open' for interpretation so that they can find a personal meaning within each viewer, whilst still maintaining their original birthing idea. Looking through Goodyears work, her narrative and image style and composition, gave me a stronger sense of how this can be created within public work and thus I feel that by referring to her pieces as an influence I may one day grasp my own style of creating this 'open world' effect.

Without a doubt, within her work, the drawing I liked the most was the one entitled 'Back room' (pictured above). This drawing focuses on the idea of removing the characters identity, the idea of loosing oneself or ones conciousness through the act of the characters supposed gentle caress, which could just as easily be an act of unwanted molesting. It is this narrative which especially drags my attention to this piece and holds it there as I have always been fascinated by the idea of 'identity', how it can be gained and how it can be removed. How one person can go through so many identities within a life time without truly living any of them at all. A living death in naming form. 

Throughout Goodyears work the visual of duplication and double figures is heavily used as well as links to mythology, folk lore and superstition. This is again something I find very interesting as I too have always held an interest in such histories and the art of the unexplained however I never really access such loves within my work. I feel that, if I only take one thing from this lecture, it will be that I must start to focus on such topics more within the future, seeing where my true interests take me within the visual world and if they are successful within my work or not. The idea of what it is to be human is also a subject tossed around within Goodyears drawings, something which I think is heavily focused upon within art however never gets tiring to see. The idea of what humanity is differs fro mind to mind, person to person, and thus it is a topic that is truly eternal. I myself have focused slightly on such a topic in the past, finding it captivating when research is considered, and feel that if a common topic is ever going to be found within my work it would be this question. 

One of the final topics Goodyear covered was how she sometimes draws from photographs, people in old memories becoming characters within new works. Personally I am not incredibly skilled at life drawing so feel that this idea may be something good for me to practice with, both strengthening my drawing ability but also giving me new visuals to play with. Also Goodyear sometimes uses photographs to form the basis for a sculptural piece, as well as other object intervention techniques, another idea I find heavily interesting and something I should remember when partaking in future projects.

Overall I found Rachel Goodyears visit and work highly inspirational to me as a player within the fields of art and illustration and believe I will take several things from it, possibly even looking back at the pieces shown in the future as references or influences.  Rachel Goodyear (2010). 'Back Room'. [ONLINE IMAGE] Available at: http://www.rachelgoodyear.com/images/2010-09/back-room-det.jpg. [Last Accessed 21/03/2013].

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Book review. 'Damien Hirst' edited by Ann Gallagher, by Tate publishing.

When the book is first visually captured the soon-to-be reader is instantly assaulted within imagery of Hirsts work, namely ‘New York’ (displayed on the front cover) and ‘God’ (displayed on the back cover) from his medicine cabinet collection. This covering strongly contributes to the content of the book as a whole whilst the white colouring of the book and sharp square shape, when combined with the medicine cabinet graphics, visually suggests even an exhibition itself. This strategy of visual material provides an insight into the topics covered within, a visual cliff-hanger which encourages further interest and reading.

The text starts with forwards from both the sponsor and director of Hirsts latest exhibition, comparing how visual art can connect cultures and states that the exhibiting of art is just as important for intercultural relations as the 2012 Olympic games, held in London, which were taking place around the same time. I strongly agree with this statement, feeling that the language of the visual can sometimes connect people more than simple words ever could. Every person will be able to connect with a visual of sadness, loneliness, a child sat alone. However not everyone will be able to explain such emotions through language. This section of the text ends by explaining Hirsts personality as joyful, which is in stark contrast to his work, that contemporary art defines us and our time, jump years ahead and these creations will be artefacts of our history and our presence as the people of this world.

The text then delves head first into the heavy stuff, starting with an introduction by editor Ann Gallagher who again discussed the importance of contemporary art on our age, saying how it can provoke awe and outrage simultaneously and thus is a thing of wonder (using ‘For the Love of God’ as a reference point). She then goes on to talk more deeply about Hirsts work and Hirst himself, going through his education and art history and how his work thoroughly displays the fragility of existence. This was one of the sections I found most intriguing to read due not only to my fascination with the delicate surface of life, which Hirst visually displays so well, but also as Gallagher paints Hirst so clearly that you would think you knew him as a youth. The most fascinating aspect of this section, to me, was how Hirst used to practice life drawings by drawing from the stuffed corpses of animals at Leeds museum but also from cadavers. When the simple style of life drawing is combined with such a fearful and haunting subject matter one can imagine the idea of visual tension would be formed within the sketches, the pencil would give life to the bodies of those departed and the true subject of the drawings would be left hidden until revealed for all to see. I find this sheer concept fascinating I feel that, to increase my drawing capabilities too, I may begin something similar.

The rest of the book was comprised mainly of essays (such as ‘Ugly feelings’ by Brian Dillon, which discussed Hirsts works in a chronological order) however also included interviews with Hirst made by Nicholas Serota in 2011. These interviews we extremely interesting to read as it allowed me to see aspects of Hirsts works I had not seen before whilst also allowing me to compare my feelings on a piece to those of the creator such as Hirsts feelings that the world and his work require a certain amount of darkness to function correctly. However the aspect of this interview which mostly made me smile was when Hirst stated at the time he chose to study Art further in Leeds he chose not to leave his home city as he was too unsure as what he wanted to do with life. This is exactly how I feel at the current time and thus from reading this one statement I don’t feel as daunted by the fear of being unsure as I did before.

Although all the instigative text of the book was extremely enjoyable to read the visual aspects of the book were the best parts, for me personally. Throughout the text detailed images of Hirsts works were incorporated, showing of lens reproductive detail that may have been missed in the past. The colours within ‘God’, the horror of ‘A Thousand Years’, everything could be seen up close in image format in a sense, through reading, transporting the viewer into Hirsts artistic existence of death and life and fragility in which the idea God itself is questioned. These images again introduced me to elements of Hirsts work I had never seen before and I believe will strongly support and inspire me in future studio practices.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading and viewing this text. Hirst still remains the artist whose work I most admire to this day and thus having all of it to hand, printed onto the paper of a page, is a wondrous thing to hold. This text not only has given me a stronger insight into the world of contemporary art but also into simple existence itself. Beauty is everywhere within the norm, at least if we search for it, as is destruction. In the experience of a decaying structure falling, in the reflection of the suns rays from the litter at our feet, even in the curved shape of a bruise caused by drama. Embrace this destruction as it’s beautiful. These are the artefacts that define us, these are the marks that show us as human, and if these joyful negativities were not present among our worried faces then neither would we.

Not truly, anyway. 

Ann Gallagher, (2012). Damien Hirst. 1st ed. England: TATE Publishing.

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Deconstructing the Grand Master. Possibly one of the last project updates. Current body of work evaluation. 'The stretches of Morality.' These above images consist of the final bodies of work I have produced within this unit, excluding the Maoflow and Picmomo dolls and animation. After completing 'The Veldt' and the dolls I decided to approach this project from a new, 2D, angle. Here I used the method of automatic drawing to produce small puppet like characters based around the previous artefacts I had studied, namely the story of Prometheus and the narrative of progressions consequences (my original starting point) and the development of stereotypical children's toys and how they may effect later life and mental behaviour through 'closed' and 'open' looped toys and processes. The results of this experiment are displayed in the bottom image. I feel this experiment allowed me to focus more on myself for a change, rather than the wider population, whilst still covering the ideas I earlier discussed, wondering if the toys we are given as children effect our growth. As a kid I was heavily influenced by 'open' toys, meaning objects that held no direct path and encouraged mental activity for one to enjoy and develop play. Whether this has effected my current activity within creative processes is still cloudy however within the drawings I created a strong theme of suspension is present, as well as a connection between fun and play and death and destruction (displayed through the visual of childishly drawn animal skulls). The four drawings I most preferred are displayed in the bottom image (as they all held a strong link to the visual of children's toys) and together are entitled 'Liver in the eagles beak' referencing the darker side to the story of Prometheus. The top three images are how I decided to build up the display of the drawings further. Simply displaying them against bright wallpaper and hanging them inside coloured frames made me think of a child's nursery and thus I wished to create this vision in an installation like way. To do this I collected several pictures and framed illustrations which were available for purchase for actual playrooms and then altered every figure pictured by replacing their face with a crude illustration of Maoflows skull using ink. This result allowed the images to still maintain their attractive coloured and 'fun' imagery whilst mutating the 2D characters within into something new, unrecognisable and almost unnerving to view. I then expanded this display by collecting three children's plush toys and hiding segments of them (similar to how I did within the pictures) using floral patterned material. This encourages the creation of a contrast between the happy and bright appearance of the material with the slightly sinister aspect of hiding the toys features and suspending them from their necks, a manner which hints towards the idea of suicide and torture. When displayed together in an installation manner (top image) I named the piece 'Feeling sorry' again referencing one of the main themes within Prometheus but also, if expanded, a title which could hint towards the overall development of contemporary society and how the 'loss' of childhood is encouraged at a younger age each lifetime. Overall I feel that the body of work I have created during this project has stretched far from its original but has kept tight hold on the points I wished to explore and translate visually. I also really like the style which has developed throughout, the childish elements holding hands with the haunting qualities formed, and believe that that visual style, as well as the points covered within this unit, may well be recreated, reused and explored further within the future. 

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14th of March. Briefing. Term 2 Exhibition planning, among other things.  During this mornings briefing several points were covered. To start Christian went over the 'Key Words' essay for the Contemporary Practice in Context unit. I found this talk incredibly helpful as currently I am at a loss as to what to do for this essay however, because of this briefing, I now feel a new sense of life when it comes to that textual demon. I feel that i have been over thinking this whole brief, worrying too much about having a 'question' to answer throughout and not focusing on artists and the actual meaning and purpose of the words like I should be doing. To start myself off here I now feel that I will pick the two words I like the best as well as artist works I feel represent them and begin writing, noting the relations between the works and the words, and take the essay draft as it comes, answering (in best) any questions that may be raised along the way. The second half of the briefing was focused on our next exhibition which will be held publicly in the Byram Arcade in Huddersfield and will feature the work from our Deconstruction project, Drawing project, Reading and responding project and our Manifestos. To start myself off thinking about this daunting task i doodled the above diagrams which show how, ideally, I would like to display my work.  Top left - Deconstructing the Grand master. Maoflow and Picmomo dolls sit atop 4 brightly painted cardboard boxes, all of different size and colour. The viewer can alter Picmomos face via the tub of facial features at her feet. Several 'monster' drawings (in frames) are also either hung on the behind wall or propped against the boxes. Top right - Drawing Transformations. Underwear dolls are slumped on the floor against a wall. Condom and tampon prints on wood) are behind them whilst the objects used for the prints (artefacts of the piece) are suspended from the ceiling around the scene.  Bottom left - Reading and Reviewing. The wall used is covered in neutral, homely, wallpaper. 5 destroyed framed photographs of the people interviewed about anxiety are displayed on said wall, the objects that represent anxiety to them displayed in front either on a podium or hung from the actual wall.  Bottom right - Manifesto. The bird cage sits next to the actual manifesto which is framed. The cage can either be suspended or placed on a surface, partly covered in a cloth that can be moved by the viewer if needed which should encourage interaction. This could also be displayed as a photography.  Although I am happy with these layouts I must embrace the fact that it will be highly unlikely they can be created, at least in full form in the exhibition, due to spacing issues and the pure fact I wouldn't want to claim loads of room for another person to have very little to display their work in. Because of this I will most likely have to change what I might display, which, to me, is fine as I enjoy how work can change when displayed as this aesthetic can alter is effect on the viewer and it's narratives. We also sorted ourselves into groups for this exhibition, each entitled with sorting out a different element of it. I ended up in Marketing, which I am fine with. Personally I have a strong interest in marketing and advertising, especially viral marketing, so this exhibition may either strengthen or deplete my love for the topic. Either way it will help me gain more experience with handling exhibitions and how works can be shown to the public eye. 

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Reading and Responding. Animation experimentation. 'Fabiana.' This is the stop motion animation I created a while ago,as part of my 'Reading and Responding' work, to document the destruction of the photographs I used. Here the idea of anxiety is played out in slowly reduced visuals, the scratching of the paper inducing a loss of identity on the subject making her seem inhuman and monstrous. Again, I like the fluidity of the animation but feel (unless it was played on repeat) the sharp ending halts the seemingly eternal feeling created throughout.

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Deconstructing the Grand Master. Animation. 'The Veldt' (actual animation). Here is the actual animation of my doll, Picmomo, for the Deconstruction project. I feel the animation provides more fluidity to the piece however the idea of infinity is not held here, due to the stopping of the video (its limitation), unlike in the 2D frame print in which the 'animation' is continued due to the viewers view point. 

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Deconstructing the Grand Master. Project update. Animation stills. 'The Veldt.' The above image is formed from each frame of my stop motion animation for this project, featuring the character Picmomo. For a while I debated over how to finally present this sequence of events, looking into both motion image and still image, finally settling on the above method. Removing the idea of physical 'animation' and simply representing the 'shots' give the viewer the change to experience the situations in their own speed, allowing for more freedom within the piece and also giving the piece the chance to question the entire idea of what is classed as 'animation'. Does it have to be physically moving? Or simply tricking the mind to assume movement in the motionless? The piece (collective image) focuses on the main idea of Picmomo and how she holds no physical face and must 'assume' one to fit into society, relating to the increasing importance of physical strength a person must adopt, and is encouraged  to adopt in current times. Throughout the story Picmomo forms 3 expressions in total, neutral, anger and one of fear or shock. Over time each expression slips from her face until she is left as she started  As the character never actually moves position in the piece the sequence could be read, and re-read, countless times forming an almost unbreakable circle within the character world. A never ending cycle of facial loss and gain and loss again. I rather like this effect as it implies a sense of never ending time yet no time at all, forming an paradox quality. The piece could almost be seen as comical. Due to the position of the doll and the large image of a frog in the background (as well as the position of both) it could almost be seen that the frog is, how shall we say, 'lovemaking' the features from Picmomos form. Although unintentional the hidden bug slightly adds to the overall appeal in my view whilst still following up my view of how stereotypical children's toys are becoming more inappropriate by the generation. The title of the piece 'The Veldt' comes from a short story of the same name by author Ray Bradbury which I studied in college. In the story the darkness of both children and entertainment is shown via the children murdering their parents, through the process of feeding them to lions, so that they could stay with the AI known as the 'nursery', an electronic playroom which had taken over the role of parents for the children. I feel that both the intentions of the story and this project are similar thus I thought the name fitted well. If I were to display this image in an exhibition I would wish for it to be blow up to a large, wall filling, scale so that the entire dominance of it is increased, the viewer being swallowed in the world and scenario displayed. Although not an intended final piece for this project, I think that this image could serve as one of the stronger elements in the body of work produced in this Deconstruction unit. 

Ray Bradbury, (1951). The Veldt. 1st ed. The Illustrated Man: Doubleday & Company.

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Deconstructing the Grand Master. Project update. 'The world that the children made.' Here are images of my completed dolls for this project. As a sort of 'play' to see what format would be best to display the characters, extracted from children's drawings, in this project I decided to explore the media of textiles, using aesthetics and colours one would assume to see within children's toys but altering the idea slightly by including almost sinister imagery but still in a child like manner. The backdrop was found in a second hand textiles store and captivated me by its colours and almost scenic appearance  thus I decided to use it as the background for my dolls which places them in a slight environmental state (indicating that they are living beings) which also slightly relates to how a children's animation may be shot if physical objects are used. The characters featured include Maoflow (left) and Picmomo (right) who exist to illustrate the direction in which stereotypical male and female toys are taking. Maoflow serves as an example of the violence of boys toys, due to the 'bunny rabbit' body contrasting with the severed skull head which hangs ominously above the carcass, Picmomo being the symbol of female toys and how they are increasingly focusing on the importance of changing ones physical appearance to assume 'beauty' which is shown by her having no real face, only constructing one out of pins and 'cut out' facial features. I really like the dolls create in this project and feel they meet the criteria of what I wanted however I am unsure how they are best displayed. personally I feel the presence of the actual doll in an exhibition would force the narratives desired onto the viewer first hand (encouraging piece/viewer interaction where Picmomo is concerned as the viewer can alter her face), however through photographic reproduction the limitations of presenting the dolls physically is removed and the boundaries between the physical and visual worlds are almost challenged, increasing a strong scenic and 'worldly' effect within the dimensions of the photography. Either way I am happy with these results and now feel that I must approach making these characters from a new, probably 2D, angle so that diversity is encouraged within the body of work produced. 

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Reading and Responding. Project update. 'Here.' With the thoughts of creating contemporary objects based around each persons view of anxiety (collected in my primary researchers interviews) I formed the above pieces, based around the replies of Katie and Fabi respectively. When questioned about how they would sum up anxiety in a physical form or situation both said that they saw it as a small box, locked away or locking something away. In order to clearly show this visual but also display how anxiety, among other things, can hide behind a façade drawn up by the frightened I used two small, velvet jewellery boxes as my 'base' as they held a cute and glamorous appearance which would contrast well with the meaning of the pieces. I then painted the internal lids of the boxes black and scratched away the paint to form two drawings, using a style similar to the one explored in my deconstruction project, using cartoon like animal skulls and human bodies to show how anxiety can make a person feel helpless like an infant once more. I then filled the boxes with torn up pictures of the people who they represent (only the odd eye and curve of lip can be seen now) before filling them with ink, this process relating to the destruction of the self mental problems can cause. One of my favourite aspects of these pieces is the overall colour scheme they hold, the sepia and 'mellow' tones relating both to those used in the décor of suburban life but also to the physical skin tone of Caucasian humans thus the boxes become a visual representation of the horrors both people and everyday life can nurse. This colour scheme also relates to that of the photography and other 3D work i have done so far for this project, possibly allowing me to link them as a whole piece when completed. Although I do hold fondness for these pieces I think if I were to do them again i would change the physical boxes for ones more up market, possibly using wood ones of a larger scale as this would both allow me a better 'canvas' to paint on whilst also providing a better scale to work with as paining became tricky on these particular boxes due to their very small size. However I feel they meet what I wanted to achieve with this experiment and have lowed me to take one step further to exploring anxiety in visual terms.