Untitled

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

connorgrace:

Connor knew that their relationship would fall back into place eventually, it was what they both needed - each other. They’d been separated before, it was nothing knew. But this time there was something else in the way and he figured it had something to do with what Benji had been through - the accident had taken a major hit to his brother. Figuratively and literally. He didn’t press any further on his brothers state, he would tell him how he was when he was ready. “Same old. Tired working dad.”

Benji was feeling awkward, but it was nothing his brother was doing.  The problem was that he’d spent 18 years interacting with Connor in a certain way, and it had become ingrained in him.  Then his life had shattered, and the following seven years had distorted everything he thought he knew about his life until it was unrecognizable to Benji.  So he didn’t know if he and Connor fit together the same way anymore or if they’d have to figure out their new dynamic.  More than likely, it was the latter, but Benji wanted to try.  Hearing the dad comment though, Benji perked up, actually smiling.  It was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.  “How’s the little dove anyway?  Skyping with her just isn’t the same as seeing her in person.”  Benji had always called his niece that for as long as he could remember.

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gusberry:

it was nice to see his friend smiling like that. he knows how much benji’s been through, but the only thing gus really wants to see from him is the ability to allow himself to be happy. naturally, gus can tell, there’s a lot still pent up inside about the whole situation. “i love sweet things!” gus exclaims as he clambers up the stairs to the front door of his apartment. “what kind of thing do you have in mind? we can also get snacks from the 7-eleven at the corner,” he says, glancing back at the store while he opens his door.

Thinking about Gus’s question, Benji considered what he’d want.  He never treated himself.  In fact, back in Providence, he’d sometimes even forget to eat.  Sometimes food just tasted like cardboard, or he’d be full after just a couple bites, so what was the point?  Things had been a bit different since coming back to Everwood because the housekeeper at his parents’ house - one of the staff members who’d basically raised Benji and his siblings - came by every day after work to bring him food that either she or the house chef had made for him.  But actually treating himself, well...that wasn’t something he’d done for a long time.  “Can we get ice cream?” he asked finally.  “I know they don’t deliver ice cream - right? - but is there somewhere close we could walk to?”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gavinxshepard:

“Oh c’mon, don’t be so hard on yourself, Benji –” he placed his hands very briefly on the other male’s shoulder. “But, you’re welcome – Totally welcome. D’you have family here?” Gavin sipped at his coffee, taking his surroundings there. It was late at night, with very few people still out and about.

Benji was used to this, people telling him he was being hard on himself or something, and he didn’t usually argue.  They saw him in a more positive light most of the time, these people who didn’t really know him, and it was because they didn’t really know him.  So instead, Benji just shrugged noncommittally.  Nodding, Benji told Gavin, “I do, yeah.  I have a twin brother actually, Connor.  I’d ask if you know him, but if you did then I would probably have looked familiar since we’re identical.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

daxparrish:

“Nope, you’re fine… it’s fine. It just ended on a bad note, I guess. Pretty long story, wouldn’t wanna bore you with it.” He didn’t exactly like thinking about it, let alone talk about the only time he actually felt something for someone. “It’s in the past. But a gin and tonic it is, Benji.” he gave him a small smile and began to prepare his drink. 

Benji knew what it was like not to want to discuss things from the past, and he nodded in reply.  “I understand,” he said quietly as the man set about making his drink.  “Isn’t it shitty the way you can’t ever really forget the bad things?  They’re always there.  Sometimes you think about them everyday, but other times they don’t cross your mind for years, and then suddenly, boom, there they are again.”  Benji knew what that was like too.

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gusberry:

as the two cross the street as they walk, gus is able to see his apartment down the block. he grows excited at the idea of sinking into his couch along with the other, talking about nothing, or maybe everything. “exactly, so you shouldn’t worry about being more like me, being like you is such an incredible way to be!” glancing up as he holds on their arm, his brows furrow together, and he shakes his head, holding up one of his hands as if to stop him. “don’t worry about any of that. we’re gonna have a great time now, and that’s what counts, there’s no use dwelling on what could have been.” gus moves away from the other, jogging along slightly ahead. he turns, now moving backwards as he looks at the other. “anything?” he asks, eyes widening a little bit. “i’m overwhelmed by all of the possibilities. i’ll figure it out when we get inside. i’ll need your help, though. we’re almost there!” 

Any trace of a bad mood was forgotten, banished by Gus’s overwhelming positivity.  It was like standing in the sun to be around him, and Benji thought that maybe this was exactly what he needed.  Following his friend toward the building, Benji said, “I’m not too picky, though if you don’t have something sweet, we’ll have to order something that’ll satisfy my sweet tooth.”  In a good mood now, Benji was craving some sugar, anything to keep this high going; he hadn’t realized how badly he’d missed this feeling until now.

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gavinxshepard:

“Yeah, totally not your fault though too. It was dark out, anyone could have gotten lost. All that matters, like I said, is that you found your way back.” he walked up to the register and ordered his coffee. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you, Benji. You seem like a good friend to have around here.”

Benji had been feeling pretty good about this encounter until Gavin said he seemed like a good friend to have around.  That wasn’t true though - Benji was probably the worst friend you could have.  “I’m really not,” he replied, immediately regretting it because he thought it made the situation awkward.  “Thanks for saying it though.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gusberry:

their flattery leaves gus stunned just briefly; he isn’t sure what to say. “well ––” he starts, “it’s not easy bein’ cheesy,” somehow he finds himself falling back on the iconic chester the cheetah for the words he was missing, but it isn’t too long before he’s able to vocalize his support for the other: “but i dunno, i saw you and was immediately put into a good mood! we might be more alike than you think?” he says, looking over to the other with a smile. feeling overjoyed with the other’s presence, he places his opposite hand on the inside of benji’s arm, squeezing it gently as if to hug it. “augh, i missed you a lot. sorry.” as they continue to walk and he hears benji’s offer, he shrugs. “well, alright. i’d never deny free food. i’m pretty broke right now–” classic gus, everlastingly bad with managing his money. “so thank you!!” 

Benji hoped that he didn’t make Gus uncomfortable; over the past several years, it was like he’d forgotten how to interact with people, even people he had known for a long time.  Smiling at Gus’s response, Benji replied, “No, it’s not,” all the while thinking how cute that was.  “Well that’s something we have in common because I’m in a good mood too now that I’ve seen you,” Benji responded.  He smiled when Gus squeezed his arms, cheeks reddening a little; he’d forgotten what physical affection, no matter how sleight, felt like.  “I missed you too,” Benji replied as they walked.  “I’m...sorry that I disappeared.  A lot happened, you know.”  Of course Gus would remember as he’d been friends with Benji when the accident had happened, when Benji had been committed to The Dinah Home, where he’d been for two years.  “I just...couldn’t stay here,” Benji said, which didn’t really explain the lack of contact.  The truth was that everyone in Everwood reminded him of what he’d lost, but that was no fault of their own.  “You can get whatever you want,” Benji told Gus, grinning at him.  “Don’t hold back.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

tattooedhart:

He was feeling pretty generous today. After he ordered his coffee, he also paid for the coffee for the person behind him. He figured it was better to pay it forward and everything. Especially when he had the extra money for once. After all, you never knew who you’d meet performing nice tasks and shit. “Figured you could use it.” He grinned, taking a sip of his coffee.

Benji hadn’t been paying much attention to his surroundings in The Grindhouse, not until he heard someone talking to him.  “You don’t have to do that,” Benji said when the man offered to pay for his coffee, but he let him do it, not wanting to make things awkward by arguing.  “Thank you,” he said, and then Benji paid for the coffee for the next person in line.  Taking a sip of his coffee, Benji said, “Yeah, I definitely could use it.  I slept horribly last night.”  Smiling at his new acquaintance, Benji told him, “I’m Benji, by the way.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gavinxshepard:

“I mean, it was a walk home ‘nd, I was heading this way anyway. Truly, it was no problem at all. We’re building-mates – That’s not a thing. Well, we live in the same building and, I hope that I have a good judgement of character to help out the good people,” he smiled proudly. “Right, Benji –” He extended his hand out to the other, “Gavin.”

Benji still felt like this man had done him a favor, but he didn’t push the issue; he was just grateful that he knew where he was again.  “Next time I go for a walk, I’ll need to pay attention to where I’m going,” he said.  That had been the problem - he’d been lost in his head, and once he came back to reality, he was lost in Everwood as well.  Taking the other man’s hand, Benji said, “It’s nice to meet you, Gavin.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gusberry:

of course gus remembers a benji that was very much delightfully positive, but he also acknowledges that time changes people, no matter what. he knows that whatever form of benji is in front of him is the one he’s willing to love and accept. of course, this would apply to any of his friends. he’s eternally dedicated to all of those he’s close with. “of course you’re the best version of you right now! what other benji could i love? no one. just you. in this moment.” he flashes his classic wide grin, swooping his arm underneath and around benji’s to take him along in the way he was initially going. “my place! then we can hang together all the time! my apartment has fun things, but i don’t have many snacks,” he describes as he pulls the other along, “but we can always order food, right?” 

Just like hugging, it had been a long time since someone had told Benji they loved him.  In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time, and he felt his chest tighten a bit, touched by Gus’s words.  He really was a good friend.  Conversely, Benji had been a shitty friend, but that seemed to be water under the bridge.  Smiling at his friend, Benji said, “I wish I were more like you.  It’s like impossible to not be in a good mood when you’re around.”  He looped his arm in Gus’s and walked with him.  “Food’s on me,” Benji told Gus.  “Please, it’s the least I can do.”  The least he could do for what?  For not shunning him?  For forgiving him?  For making him smile?  All of those things and more.  

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gusberry:

as someone who practices an art, gus finds himself understanding human relationships rather differently from others. depending on his inspiration levels, gus could stay holed up in his room for days on end, waiting for creativity to strike, then funneling all of it out into his work. he understands that life and being can get in the way of consistency in relationships. but he’s the kind of person to drop off the face of the earth for a week, two weeks, even months, then jump back into friendships as if nothing ever happened. he valued his friends too much to allow time ( an illusion ) to get in the way of something bigger than the both of them.  at their response, gus grins widely. “of course good different! the best version of you is always the current version.” fists balled and raised above his torso, gus goes all starry eyed. “oh man! yes!! i’ve missed you! i don’t care what we do, as long as it’s together.” he glances up at the building, shaking his head, then looking back over to benji. “no, but i’m not very far.”

Benji remembered when he used to be a positive ray of light like Gus was, but those days were long gone, and he missed them.  “Really?  I don’t know about that,” Benji replied, and though he laughed a little as he said it, Benji meant every word.  But it was hard to be melancholy around Gus, who had Benji smiling, like a real, actual smile and not just one meant to humor the other person.  “Okay, so...your place or mine?” Benji asked.  “Maybe yours since you know where I live now, and this way I’ll know where you live too.  Plus my apartment doesn’t really have anything fun in it yet.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gusberry:

“gus!” he exclaims as confirmation, walking up to to meet benji halfway. it had been a mega long time, but he’d recognize that face anywhere. but as soon as he’s close enough, he’s opening up his arms to embrace the other, humming contentedly should the hug be allowed. “whoa! you look different. i don’t know how, though. i like it! i’m so happy to see you!” smiling widely he appraises the other, looking them up and down. “it’s been too long. what’re you doing right now, friend? we should catch up a little bit, if you’re not busy. i just got out of work, and was just gonna go home and like, play video games or something. but seeing you is actively so much more fulfilling.” while gus hopes the other can hang out, he does realize it’s pretty last minute, and he’s fully prepared to offer to hang out another time if this doesn’t work out. 

Ever since coming back to Everwood, Benji had found himself hugging people a lot, which was something he was trying to get used to again.  Still, it felt good to hug his friend (could they even still be called that though?  Benji hadn’t been the best at keeping in touch with people these last few years).  Looking down at himself, Benji wondered what about him was different.  “Good different then?” Benji asked.  Maybe it was just because Gus hadn’t seen him in awhile, or maybe it was something Benji himself just didn’t recognize.  “I’m not busy,” Benji said, still smiling, but now he was worried too.  He wanted to be the Benji Gus knew, or at least pretend to be, but that wasn’t as easy as it sounded.  Even so, Benji wanted to try.  “Video games sound fun, or we could do something else,” Benji replied.  Staring up at his building, Benji asked, “Do you live here too?”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gavinxshepard:

Gavin pressed his lips together, catching onto the slip that the other male had. He wasn’t one to judge, and it was clear that he didn’t want him to know about it, so Gavin left it alone. “Yeah, as comforting as pets can be sometimes, it just isn’t enough to get us through the day,” he shrugged his shoulders. His hands in his pockets and his speed picked up briefly as they had gotten closer. “You’re welcome, no trouble at all,” he admitted. “Oh, uh –” Gavin looked both ways and looked at his watch, “You know what – Yeah, I’ll take a cup. Thanks.”

Benji used to be outgoing back in high school, but that all had changed.  Still, sometimes fragments of the old him found their way to the surface, and besides, he felt like it was the least he could do.  “I owe you, so let’s go,” he said, offering the man a small smile.  Then the two of them headed to the Grindhouse.  As they walked, Benji realized, “I don’t think I’ve told you my name yet.  It’s Benji.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

jfcavcry:

         “I know right? I mean strippers get a bad rep, but I think that’s just coming from people who are old and bitter about the fact they can’t be a stripper and earn twice as much money doing half the work.” Avery mused with a chuckle. “I’m sure you could insure your bike if it was a really nice bike, but I think most people aren’t that overbearing when it comes to things like that.” 

“And from people who think they can police the way other people use their bodies,” Benji replied.  “I try not to listen to what other people think, especially when they’re just jealous...not that people are usually jealous of me.”  Shrugging, Benji said, “If something happens to it, I’ll just get a new one.  Though...I am kind of attached to this one, I have to admit.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

wymjordan:

“Hmm, I think I’ll take you up on that.” Quickly turning around and reaching for two glasses, he quickly made two Jack & Coke’s that favored the strong side. “So what’s your name?”

It wasn’t like Benji went out to the bar a lot, but when he did, he almost always drank alone.  This would be the first time in awhile that wasn’t the case, and he was happy about that.  “I’m Benji,” he replied when the man asked his name.  “It’s actually Benjamin, but...please, just Benji.”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

gavinxshepard:

“You’ll get the hang of it; it really is easy once you’ve learned your pets habits but, – It seems to be you’ve already done that ‘nd gotten it under control.”Gavin smiled softly. Gavin looked at the other with before he used his index finger to point to The Grindhouse. “Are we looking familiar now?” he asked. 

“I just hope he comes around...I got him at the advice of my thera-err, of a friend, so I wouldn’t be so lonely...but it kind of feels like I live alone still most of the time.”  Seeing the Grindhouse in the distance, Benji spotted his bike nearby, feeling grateful to this stranger.  “Thank you,” he said to the man.  “Can I buy you a coffee or something?”

[benjixnotxbenjamin-blog]

daxparrish:

“He’s polite, alright…— but I guess we’ve just got a bad history. Not to fret, though, all that shit’s in the past. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Bad history?  Did something happen between you too?  Ahh, sorry, you don’t have to answer that.  Yeah, can I have a gin and tonic please?”