Stop using male victims to shut down conversations about SA
It's so funny how when a woman online complains about sexual harassment, stalking, or even SA from men, men online will then dismiss her using this saying (excluding the most common one which is ‘not all men’), they’ll then jab with, "Well, it happens to men too. Don't exclude male victims."
Sir, no one said it DIDN'T. No one said it EXCLUDED them (or should). But here's why it's hard to take a man seriously when they DO bring up male victims in this specific context. Because a decent portion of them trying to use this as a counterpoint don't ACTUALLY care about male victims.
They just want to use male victims in order to make women feel stupid for talking about these problems. Because the only time male victims are generally brought up BY MEN is when someone is trying to stop a WOMAN from talking about sexual assault.
Whenever news stories about female predators molesting little boys or stories about crazy girlfriends stalking men come out into the public, the comments are filled with men saying stuff like this:
“Lol, he’s lucky, don’t see why he’s complaining”
“Where can I find a girl like her?”
“Lucky bastard, I can’t even get a girl to look at me.”
Or, if he was assaulted by a man, then it shifts to:
“He looks like a girl, it’s his fault”
"Shouldn't have dropped the soap"
Rather than acknowledging the very terrifying and dehumanizing experiences these men have faced at the hands of human-shaped predators, they either congratulate or blame the male victims for what traumatic experiences people have put them through. If these men ACTUALLY cared about male rape victims, they would not be saying these stupid/hurtful things towards the male victims who have experienced such horrible fates.
The world BARELY believes women whenever we speak up about the horrible things men often do to us. So if you guys hardly believe us when we speak about these topics, why on Earth would you ever believe MEN when they try to do so as well?
This is not to say that one side should be more believed than the other. But I am saying that two plus two equals four and not five. If you barely believe women, why would you believe men (especially when you think they’re FORTUNATE if a woman forces herself onto one)? Because if this is the stance you’re taking, you just don’t want people to talk about sexual assault rather than it is you caring about the gender of who was assaulted.
The lack of belief around sexual violence towards women harms men as well.
Sure, it ABSOLUTELY sucks that we’re blamed if we do get assaulted by a man. “Oh well, what were you wearing?” But I bet it also sucks just as hard to be gaslighted into thinking you should be GRATEFUL that you were taken advantage of and that you’re ‘weird’ for thinking otherwise. “You’re lucky, I can’t get any women.”
We have got to stop blaming victims no matter what gender they are or what their situation is. And if you ACTUALLY care about male victims as much as you say you do, then become part of the solution—stop contributing. Unless you’re willing to do that—you don’t actually care about victims at all—you just want the topic of sexual assault to not be talked about due to your own twisted perspective of how consent works or how you think it should work.
Stop using a demographic of people who suffered in order to shut up a conversation you don't like.
Most men are raped by other men anyway.
