Hi. I know that I don’t post on here anymore, but I feel the need to vent somewhere, and since I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it, I’m just going to put this out into the ether. Even since October of last year, I’ve been hit with an incredibly severe depression. Without going into the details too much, I lost one of the best friends that I’ve ever had over a really stupid reason, and it’s been really hard getting over it.
I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve tried reaching out, but they’ve blocked me on every social media account that we mutually share. Truth is, I can’t really discern anything that I had done that wasn’t shared by a few other people at the time, and I have no clue why I’m specifically being singled out and shunned. But this is some of the worst pain I have ever gone through in my entire life. This hurts more than any relationship I’ve been in that’s ended, any other trigger for my depression. I just want to know what I did. I just want closure.
But that is something that it looks like I’ll never have. And this downward spiral is only going to continue for me.
I miss you more than anything. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what it is, but in all actuality, I probably deserve this, and this isn’t me being facetious, I truly and honestly hate myself and want nothing more than to somehow not feel this way anymore.
I deserve this.
