The Man Who Threatens Retirement 24/7 Brought Me Out Of Mine
Um, Hey there friends! I've been in the midst of a writing kick, and saw a prompt on here that piqued my interest... I haven't written anything in a long time, (Like, I mean I used to be a Wattpad fanfic writer back in the 2010's) so if my writing style is outdated, honestly fight me, or enjoy, or do both.
I also haven't used Tumblr since 2016ish, other than to browse the same depravity anonymously, so it's going be awhile until I figure out formatting.
Anyways, Love you all, and I'm gonna post some smut, because why not...
My Masterlist
A Prayer On His Lips, A Hail Mary In His Hips: ON HIATUS/ TEMPORARILY ABANDONED (Schlatt)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
"Sing Me To Sleep." (Schlatt)
A oneshot
The Bats and The Rams: 7 Minutes in Heaven (Schlatt)
So I found out Hot Cakes is only available at Ulta... Schlatt shops at Ulta, then? Huh, cool! Anyways I went to find the scent because I was so curious and they were completely sold out and the tester was bone dry, I was so disappointed 😅 They also were sold out and had no samples of Vanilla Milk, so that's also to be tried (I am not spending that kind of money without smelling these first)
Found a super nice hoodie like 3 sizes too big for me in my work's lost and found. After nobody claimed it, I brought it home and now get to pretend like I stole it from Schlatt :P
I've now enhanced the experience by spraying perfumes with notes close to the ones Schlatt uses, and it's 110% incredible
My cheap recommendations, if you're like me and not a millionaire that can afford any perfume like Hot Cakes by Snif without smelling it and saving a little bit to buy: Pink has their Summer Gourmands on sale for $10 right now! Their Buttery Sugary is fucking phenomenal: It smells like a flaky croissant that's toasted in the oven and has a sugar coating that caramelized a little around the edges. Their Cinnadrizzle is amazing too! It's like a Cinnamony, sugary, bakery with the smells that waft through the air outside of the business. Wholly recommend. They both come in lotion and body spray, and it lasts all day, even with working out in the sun and sweating up a storm.
Found a super nice hoodie like 3 sizes too big for me in my work's lost and found. After nobody claimed it, I brought it home and now get to pretend like I stole it from Schlatt :P
So I found out Hot Cakes is only available at Ulta... Schlatt shops at Ulta, then? Huh, cool! Anyways I went to find the scent because I was so curious and they were completely sold out and the tester was bone dry, I was so disappointed 😅 They also were sold out and had no samples of Vanilla Milk, so that's also to be tried (I am not spending that kind of money without smelling these first)
Finding out Schlatt loves gourmand fragrances makes me giggle because yes he's the big angry alcoholic, but imagine he smells like syrupy sweet pancakes and vanilla/ cinnamon 🥹💕
So it turns out the A03 Curse is real because the day after I published Bobcat Pt 2 (yesterday at the time of me posting this), I was involved in a head-on accident at work since some guy swerved into my driving lane, and thankfully I saved my work truck, but my left eye got damaged with my driver's mirror getting smashed into the cab...
Stay safe friends, especially after you release fanfic 😅
Author's Note: I've been rewriting so much of this as I've been rereading it (I realized I wrote a lot of it drunk and it made no sense), but here's part 2! Updates might be slow as I work through some kinks and edits, but I'm really enjoying writing this again and reimagining some of the aspects!
His breath was shallower than normal, and a slight flush crept across his face. “Um, sure...” Schlatt spoke gently.
“I’m going to go get ready, I’ll be downstairs in a few, okay? Please keep an eye on the guys and make sure they’re doing okay, I think Tucker and Charlie are hungover... I don’t know how Ted isn’t.” Schlatt laughed, a wave of calm wafting over him.
“Yeah, I’ll go make sure they’re not all throwing up on the carpet.”
“Thank you Jay.” I smiled warmly. I began to weigh my feelings out, and they were working towards making something out of Schlatt’s drunken confession. I quickly turned away before the awkward tension could settle in, and strutted towards the bathroom. I closed the door, and took a few deep breaths. I stripped my pajamas off, and threw on the clothes I had grabbed from the room. I moved to brush my teeth, and I decided to spray some perfume on: something that wasn’t outward or overpowering. It wasn't something I did often, but I think this would constitute as being a milestone.The stairs cladded with the heavy thuds from Schlatt making his way down them, and the shouting between him and Ted. I couldn’t decipher exactly what they were saying, but I could hear Tucker and Charlie laugh some.
I need to play it cool in front of everyone else. Remember not to linger on Schlatt too long. Don’t look at him when the group laughs, and for God’s sake, don’t try to stand next to him consistently, or brush against him, or try to smell him on your clothes after embracing him for god only knows how long last night. I finished getting ready with a quick round of makeup, and walked into the hallway, preparing to save face: pretend nothing happened between Schlatt and I in front of the rest of the guys. I began to descend the stairs, seeing everyone in the kitchen at the island. Charlie actually looked okay after having passed out super early, and Tucker was sipping a bottle of water.
“So, how’s everyone feeling?” I asked, walking up to the table.
“I’m doing pretty good, for having thrown up last night,” Ted laughed. I shot a look of disbelief at him, “It was in the garbage in the shop, don’t worry. It was after Fucker here hit me in the stomach.”
“Oh yeah I ‘Hit you in the stomach’. Dude you were asking me to see how strong your arm was and I let go. You punched yourself!” Tucker shot back.
“You fuckin asked me to test my strength like that!”
“Yeah and you were stupid enough to fall for it.”
“Well fuck you man, I was drunk!”
“We all were!” Schlatt yelled, joining in the argument. “We all were fuckin drunk, except Christine, she had to fuckin babysit you two as you tried to run the Bobcat!”
“Oh I totally could’ve run that thing, no problem,” Tucker brushed, crossing his arms.
“You sure as hell weren’t going to be running it though!” I chimed in, “Maybe if you were sober, and it was in the damn field maybe, but not in the shop!”
“You guys were driving that thing in there?” Charlie asked, absolutely lost in the conversation.
“Nope, they wanted to, but I pulled the key before they could,” I replied, patting the key in my pocket.
“Yeah, can we drive it this morning?” Tucker asked, ready to show off his abilities.
“It might have to be later today, I realized I have to do some running after breakfast and grab some more feed for the animals,” I spoke coyly, motioning to Schlatt. “Would you want to come with so you can do the heavy lifting?”
Schlatt hesitated, but going along with the flow. “Yeah, sure, I’m cool with that.”
“Oh yeah, that’s all he’s good for,” Ted chuckled. “He’s just a big ol’ pack mule.”
“Oh fuck off!” I laughed, a small sweetness lingering from my lips. “I’d just do it myself, but with my knee acting up I don’t want to hurt it too much more right now. Honestly, I should be wearing my brace for it.”
Everyone chuckled a little bit, then a small awkward silence fell upon us. We all stared at each other, waiting for someone to break the silence.
“So... Furacao’s?” Charlie asked.
“Fuck yeah! I could put away some breakfast burritos right now,” Ted yipped, his hands moving to his stomach. “We all can ride in my truck, except for Chris and Schlatt, of course. I don’t want any of that feed in the back of the Tacoma with all of us in it, it’s tired enough.”
“And rusted out enough, if I put a few bags of feed in the back, I bet it’ll fall through all of the rusty holes in it,” I joked.
“Oh shut up, it doesn’t have any rust that bad,” Ted laughed back.
“That’s fine with me, I can leave my car here and then pick it up later, unless we want to have another night of partying here. Would that be cool?” Tucker asked, shrugging.
“Yeah, we could have another night of partying, we might need to get some more drinks though, I think you guys about finished everything off.” I chimed in, walking over to throw on my cowboy boots, and grabbing the keys for the older heavy duty farm truck. “But let’s talk about that over breakfast! I’m ready for some coffee, you guys wore me out last night trying to fuckin tear the shop down.”
Ted practically ran out the front door, throwing his shoes on and rattling the keys in his hand. “Come on! You fuckers are too slow today!”
Charlie and Tucker followed, and I waited for Schlatt to walk past me onto the front porch while I locked the front door. “I’ve got to take the farm truck, so it might be a little bit before we get there! Old fuckin Chevy isn’t meant for speed!” Tucker threw a thumbs up as he climbed into the passenger seat, Ted having already started the truck and Charlie climbed in slowly, shielding the sun from his eyes. Schlatt watched the other guys leave while I pulled the storm door shut and let the screen door click into place. I began walking to the side of the pole barn where the truck was parked. Schlatt followed behind, a tense hesitation began to blow through the air between us.
“This way, we have to take the Chevy since it’s a one-ton and can carry more.”
Schlatt nodded, following behind as I led the way. I began to feel my heart racing, my body and mind going into autopilot as I tried to make this as normal as possible. I knew it was never going to feel normal again, but I had to face the music eventually, considering what happened the night before. I walked to the driver’s side door, and climbed in. I turned the key in the ignition, letting the glow-plugs cycle before I started it.
“You know, I don’t mind driving this thing as much as I joke about it. It’s really a nice truck, and it’s a manual, so of course I love it that much more.” He settled into the bench seat, the slight smell of dust filling the air. “You haven’t rode in this before, have you?” I asked softly, turning to look at him as he stared at the cracked, OD green dash.
“No, I haven’t been in here before,” He murmured, his eyes fixed on anything that wasn’t me. I couldn’t tell if something heavy was on his mind, or if his mind was racing as much as mine was.
“Ah, well, welcome to the farm truck. It was an old military truck, but we bought it a couple year back at an auction. Now it just hauls feed, tows trailers, and sounds good. The diesel under the hood is actually one of the most reli-“
“Christine?” Schlatt cut me off as I rambled, trying to fill the air with words to drown out the silence.
“Yeah Jay?” My voice grew quieter.
“What did I tell you last night?” He looked over at me, deep breaths puffing his chest out as he worked to keep still.
I took a deep breath myself.
“You, you came to the bathroom while I was getting ready for bed, and because everyone had just gone to sleep I didn’t want them to hear you asking to sleep in my bed... so I had brought you into the bathroom for a little more privacy...” I took another few deep breaths, feeling his eyes gazing into me, trying to read me.
“We, um,” I anxiously stumbled over my words, “We kissed. You asked if it was okay, and we kissed again... and then you told me that you have feelings for me.” I stared at him, as his eyes widened, realizing the extent.
“We kissed? Was it mutual? I didn’t just, like, stumble and come onto you...”
“No, no I think it was pretty mutual. I mean, there were a few, and I was sober... and you had asked after the first one if it was okay and if you could have another.”
“Oh, I... um...” He fell silent, his hands in his lap squeezing each other tightly.
“You told me that you were on Tucker’s trampoline awhile ago, and you realized then that you had feelings for me, a-and that you wanted to tell me, but the guys shot you down and didn’t want you to ruin the friend group.”
“I really... I don’t want to ruin anything between us, I’m sorry I kissed you.”
“Jay, it’s okay,” I spoke out, hoping to assure him. “I’ve been in a mindset that I don’t want a relationship because I’ve been friends with you guys for ages, and I see how you talk about other girls and how you act... but I just, I don’t know if I want to keep thinking that and miss something with you. I mean, when you’re on your own, you’re a really quiet and timid guy, not like Charlie whose always after someone, or Ted who has girls in love with him everyday...” Schlatt’s gaze grew soft again.
“You were really sweet last night when you were drunk. You held me in a way I’ve never really been held before, kissing my forehead, calling me ‘toots’,” I laughed.
“Oh god, yeah, yeah this is all real then,” He smiled gently, a small laugh parting his lips. “I’ve never really used that term with any of the guys... or you.”
“I know, that’s why I remember it so well!” I laughed. I turned back to the truck, shifting it into gear and moving out of the driveway, onto the main road.
“What else did I tell you last night?” Schlatt asked, his hands fidgeting in his lap, moving between there and sitting on the ledge of the rolled down window.
“Well, you called me a crab, saying I had a hard exterior, but on the inside I was soft and sweet, it was pretty romantic,” I smirked. “You also had asked to hold me last night when we were going to bed... I had said yes too. Then, when I woke up, you were on the floor, I was mildly disappointed, but I understand.”
He laughed, taking my word for the events of last night. “Huh, I’m quite a romantic guy when I’m drunk, huh?”
“You totally were,” I laughed along.
The silence fell between us, only slightly awkward as we both contemplated the scope of it all. I focused on the road, glancing in my mirrors to check my surroundings, and catching Schlatt glancing at me when I checked my passenger mirror.
“So, what’s next?” He asked. “What does this mean, what do you think?”
“Honestly Jay, I don’t know. I’m still at a loss with my feelings. I didn’t expect a relationship to form overnight, but I also don’t want to look for anything else with anyone else.” I turned to look at him this time, the truck bouncing down the road. “I can’t see myself dating someone, let alone it be anyone else.”
“If you don’t want to put a title to it, I understand, but I don’t want to lose my opportunity to let you know how I feel.”
“I... I don’t want to put a title onto it yet, but I don’t want to lose my chance of trying something out with you Jay.”
I reached out to hold his hand, glancing between him and my open palm on the bench seat between us. His hand slowly moved to entangle his fingers with mine, gently pressing. We kept driving down the county road, making it to the edge of Bromley. I moved to shift into a lower gear to come up to a stop sign, and brought his hand to the shifting knob. I opened my hand. “Put your hand on the shifter.” He looked puzzled, but wrapped his hand around the shifter knob. I laced my fingers around his, guiding his hand through the pattern as we moved through the gears. We drove through town, making a turn here and there, eventually making it to the parking lot of Furacao’s. The guys were already inside sitting at a booth.
“Can we keep this a secret for now?” I asked softly. I kept my hand on his, and looked into his eyes. “I don’t want those guys getting weird about it.”
“Yeah, I think we can. I won’t say anything, and maybe they’ll just think that I have my crush on you still.”
“That’s fine, I’ll do my best to play it cool.”
My thumb ran gently over his, soothing both of our bundles of nerves. I smiled softly, and turned to open the door. My hand lifted off of his, the cool air filling the spaces between my fingers where his had grown comfortable. I already missed having his fingers laced with mine... why? I don’t even know if this is going to go anywhere.
We walked towards the door, walking as casually as two star crossed lovers could... except there was no loving happening. I held the door open for him as he strolled in, a soft “Thanks” leaving his lips. I wanted to keep looking at his lips, murmuring, whispering, screaming, doing anything.
“No problem,” I replied, casually strolling behind him to the booth where the guys were. Ted ant Tucker were on one side, while Charlie was on the other. Schlatt slid into the spot next to Charlie, and I wiggled my way into the last of the bench space on the side with Ted and Tucker. “Can you fuckers move over enough for me to have any space? Or do I need to pull up a Jesus seat?” I asked, a smile on my face as I tried to play it cool for the crew.
“Ted move the hell over, there’s space for you over here.” Tucker shoved Ted to the edge of the booth, giving me enough space to squeeze in. I sat down, settling in and taking my hat off as the waitress came and took our drink order. Charlie held his head in his hands, and Schlatt wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “Hey man, you need anything? Water, Excedrin, maybe a trashcan?”
“I need you to shut up for minute,” He spoke softly, making the table laugh.
“Damn, straight to the point,” Ted laughed out, grazing the menu.
“Dude I just fuckin got here,” Schlatt spat back as he retracted his arm sharply.
“He’s been a little pissy since he woke up,” Tucker spoke.
“Yeah, because you came downstairs yelling like the house was on fire.”
“No, that was Ted, I just needed to use the bathroom since he,” Tucker jabbed Ted, “decided to overhaul the upstairs bathroom.”
“By ‘overhaul’ you mean use for two fuckin’ minutes,” Ted laughed off.
The waitress came and handed off the drinks, gently placing the cop of coffee in front of me, and the small saucer of creamer cups next to it. As she moved to take our order, I saw Schlatt’s hand slowly graze across the table to snag a cup. I let him take one as the waitress asked me for my order, but as soon as she walked away, my hand darted for his, grabbing the cup of creamer for his fingers. “You asshole, this is for my coffee!” I laughed out, my fingers wrestling his. He shot me a look with a mix of playful teasing.
“Oh you can spare one!” He laughed, gripping the cup as if his life depended on it.
“No, I need it for my coffee, and I need that coffee especially after all you pricks tried tearing the shop down!” I laughed, meeting his gaze again.
“As soon as I have that key in my hand, I’m showing all of you who can run that skidsteer the best,” Schlatt laughed out, loosening his grip in an act of defeat, letting me have the creamer he had attempted to palm. I smiled deviously at him, seeing his expression change to face the rest of the group.
“Yeah, no I don’t think so, I’m gonna be keeping that key away from, at least you, for awhile.” I laughed, fixing my coffee to the best of its capabilities, and drinking it down. It was good for diner coffee, or maybe I was just thinking that because my mind was racing, thinking about how his tight grip excited me... more than it should’ve, planting the seeds of doubt in the ability to take it slow.
Schlatt looked at the rest of the group and argued with them as they all fought over who would be driving the skidsteer first, and all I sat there silently. I listened to them bicker, chiming in here and there with small comments to make it seem like I wasn’t preoccupied with anything else, especially not the man across the table from me, who was pointing fingers at Charlie and Ted. I sipped my coffee as the group grew animated with gestures of beating each other up. Schlatt, sitting across from me, kicked his legs out quickly, and in the process, kicked into my shin and the table post simultaneously.
“Hey! The fuck dude?” I sternly yelped, my coffee mug bashing against my teeth, causing me to bite down on my lip. I slammed the mug of coffee back on the table, and ran my tongue over my teeth and lip to make sure that nothing was broken. There was a taste of iron in my mouth, and as I wiped my mouth of the spilled coffee, it was tinged red.
“What the fuck Schlatt?” Ted asked as he reached across the table with his lanky arms to the paper napkin dispenser and pulled out a wad. I grabbed a couple of them as he offered them to me hurriedly.
“Thanks,” I grumbled to Ted and daubbed at my mouth.
“I’m-“
“Dude, too far, we’re just over here, fuckin’ comparing who would run that skiddy the best, you know, the manly shit, and then you go and beat up the only woman in the group,” Tucker laughed.
I continued to keep my mouth closed as I assessed the damage to the inside of my lip, feeling to make sure it wasn’t bad enough for any major concern. I stayed silent doing so, gazing at the table. I could feel the shift in Schlatt as he froze, his antics turning to a slight panic.
“I’m sorry, I was just gonna say that you guys don’t know anything, because that skiddy has foot pedals! It’s not all joystick controls...” His voice grew quieter. His gaze shifted to me, his eyes sorrowful. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”
I looked up at him, running my thumb along my lower lip with the napkin. “Yeah, I’m good, just, don’t do that again, please. That fucking hurt... and now I can’t even imagine what my smothered burrito is going to feel like with a split lip. Have you ever had green chile in an open wound?”
As I mentioned that, the waitress came up to the table, bringing our orders, handing them off one by one. I thanked her, and then excused myself from the table. “I’m going to go make sure I don’t need any stitches, y’all dig in.” I paced briskly towards the restrooms down the narrow hallway, making my way towards the one open stall. I turned on the light, and watched as Schlatt walked down the hallway at a quickened pace, catching up to me.
“Hey wait, I need to tell you I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t think that you were that close to me. Are you okay?” His eyes were remorseful, his frame leaning over me.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay, I’m just going to make sure nothing bad happened and I don’t need to go get stitched up or anything.”
“What can I do to make this up to you?” He asked, pressing himself into the bathroom with me as the sound of footsteps approached down the hollow hallway. He pressed the door closed behind him, closing the both of us in the single stall bathroom. His hand ran up the door as I took a couple of steps back, and turned towards the mirror. I heard him lock it, secluding us from the rest of the restaurant.
“You don’t have to do anything, I’ll be okay, I just need to make sure nothing else is broken. My mouth hit the mug pretty hard.” He slowly shifted towards me, standing behind me as I examined the slit that had become apparent in my lip.
“Are you sure? I, I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s alright, I promise.” He awkwardly brought an arm up to my shoulder, his hand gently pressing into it, to provide some comfort. I turned the water on, leaning down and taking a handful of water and splashed it on my lip, washing away the blood. I leaned up, looking in the mirror at his gaze, fixed on the back of my head.
“If, if you say so. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“It’s okay, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll accept whatever you think would make it up to me.”
His hand rubbed small, soft circles into my shoulder, as I shifted upwards, standing straight again. His hand slid down my back gently to the small of it, his thumb gently resting in the divot, and his fingers wrapping perfectly around my waist. I caught his gaze in the mirror, and maintained eye contact as I stepped back against him, gently pressing against him. I smiled softly, gently daubing my lip with a paper towel.
“Chris?”
“Yes, Jay?”
His other hand moved to hold the other side of my waist while he brought his head down against mine. He tilted his head, our reflection showing the image of us, together: but with some newfound spark, one that had never exposed itself before. He spoke again, softly, almost a whisper. “I’ll make it up to you later, I promise. We’ll go do something, we’ll go out, go on a date, go shopping, whatever you want to do. I’m all yours today.”
I turned to face him, our faces only mere centimeters apart with how he held me. “Deal, but you might not like what I want to do...” I closed the gap between us, sealing the deal a gentle kiss. He leaned in tenderly, needy, rushing to meet me in the middle.
“Hey, as long as I get to be with you, it’ll be worth it.”
I pulled away, his hands gripping me gently. “You should probably get back out there to the guys... I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He let go, and shifted towards the door. “I’ll see back at the table.” With that, he gently opened the door, and pulled it closed behind him.
Hello all! This is a story I had actually written last year, which has large influences (and events) from my own life. Some of it has been mildly dramaticized, and details have been changed to keep the people from those stories anonymous. They're now just other members of Chuckle Sandwich (RIP). I'm planning on rewriting later portions of this, but I wanted to get the first chunk out while it's Schlatt's birthday!! Yippee!! 🎉 Anyways, enjoy me being able to actually marry the two biggest parts of my identity in a story: my blue collar agriculturally tragic side, and the fangirl side. ❤️
Schlatt x Reader (Named Christine, fem) Pretty sfw, a whole lot of mush and the laws of propinquity
ps. here's a couple of songs to listen to with this <3 Spotify or Youtube
Schlatt, Ted, Tucker, and Charlie all were at my house partying since my parents were gone. Everyone was drinking cheap wine, hard sodas, anything they could get their fingers on that had alcohol in it. We were in the large pole barn, Tucker trying to climb on top of the skidsteer my dad used for the farm. Ted was trying to play “King of the Hill” and push him off, while Charlie was close to comatose only a few drinks in. Schlatt, stayed back with me, keeping myself company as I played trip-sitter. He was definitely drunk on the cheap Boone’s Farm wine I stole from my mom’s cabinet, the empty bottle laying under his chair while he hummed along to the playlist I made just for tonight.
“Y’know, I’ve operated one of those before,” Schlatt chuckled, playing it cool, his arms crossed as he watched Ted and Tucker wresting.
“Oh yeah, sure, and you’re the best operator there ever was!” Ted yelled back mockingly.
“He’s probably sat in the seat of it before but he’s never driven one of these, he’s too white collar,” Tucker joked, pinning Ted in a headlock.
“Fuck you guys, I totally have!” Schlatt screamed back, getting up, but making eye contact with you as he got up. He smirked, knowing he was caught, but his drunken pride reveled above him recanting his statement.
“None of you fuckers are running this damn skidsteer!” I yelled, following after Schlatt, “Not tonight, not while you’re all trashed!” I ran to the cab, pulling the key from the ignition before Schlatt had the opportunity to climb in and figure out how to actually start it.
Ted and Tucker were startled by the sudden shake of the door on the skidsteer. Ted broke free from Tucker’s arm-bar, and pushed him off the side, Tucker tucking and rolling on the floor. He looked up at me as I held the Bobcat key in my hand, and held out his. “Give that to me, I’ll show these guys how to actually run one of these things-“
“That’s right fucker, I’m king of the hill!” Ted yelled, standing tall on top of the equipment mimicking some karate poses in an act of superiority.
“That’s great and all, do you think you could get the hell off before you break the glass on the roof?” I asked while swatting Tucker’s hand away from mine. Schlatt pressed himself against me, trying to grab the key.
“I’ll take that so he can’t get in and try to run us over,” Schlatt joked. He never stood this close to me... never. Yet, there was a buzz between us that formed, a small heartrate increase for the both of us. “I’m not giving you the key either, Schlatt!” I yelled, a dumb smile on my face, keeping it cool though something in my stomach started to turn. I never thought of seeing him in any other light than a friend in the friend group. He reached for the key in my hand, and I swatted his away, walking backwards and gripping the key tightly as he followed, Tucker stammering to his feet to take chase too.
I quickly shoved the key down my hoodie, past my shirt, and into my bra. “Nobody is grabbing the damn key, and nobody it running the damn Bobcat tonight. Maybe tomorrow, how about that?” I pulled my hand out, showing my open palms. Tucker stopped walking towards me, and put his arms up in an conceded fashion. “Nope, not going for it, I’m okay without running it.” He turned around, running back to the machine to get revenge on Ted as he stood tall.
Schlatt stopped in his tracks, but didn’t move away, instead trying to reason with me. “Look, I’m not going to be reaching for that key...” He looked down at my chest, my baggy hoodie covering just about everything from view, “But I’m a damn wizard running one of those things.”
“Sure, in Farming simulator!” Ted shouted, hopping off the machine and meeting Tucker on the ground for a few playful shoves.” Schlatt turned around, and ran at Ted, yelling, “In real life, Bitch!” He joined the dogpile, playfully shoving and dogpiling Ted. I stood there, trying to brush off how Schlatt stared down at me, a glint in his eyes that stayed for a little too long. I moved back to the stool I was sitting on by the workbench and sipped my soda, letting the boys rough it out until they were tired and ready to call it a night.
Poor Charlie at this point was already out cold on in the bed of the truck, missing on most of the fun, besides the drinking. As we moved back into the house, Charlie was carried in by Schlatt and Tucker, Ted drunkenly stammering in behind them. We all moved up to my bedroom, which I had prepped with a couple of sleeping bags, and some blankets for the couch. Ted flopped himself on the couch, immediately claiming it as his own. Tucker dove into a sleeping bag headfirst, his feet sticking out.
“Hey Tucker, you gonna be okay like that?” I asked, grabbing a change of clothes and walking towards the bathroom to change. He was out cold already.
Schlatt grabbed the last sleeping bag, which was ever so slightly too short for him to be comfortable. He pulled his hoodie off, his plain black shirt riding up ever so much to expose an inch of his stomach. My eyes immediately gravitated towards it, my curiosity piqued. He gazed at me, quickly pulling it down.
Ted worked himself under a couple of the blankets I set out, getting cozy. “Oh Tucker could sleep on the bare ground if he wanted to, he’ll be fine. The dude might as well be a fuckin’ animal,” Ted laughed, leaning back onto the pillow and closing his eyes. “Thanks for getting all of this set up, so we could just pass out after fuckin’ around all night,” Ted spoke, almost mumbling now.
“No problem dude, have a good night.” I moved out of the room, walking into the bathroom and closing the door. I pulled my hoodie off, and looked in the mirror at myself, trying to understand the feeling welling up in me. Why was he staring at me like that all night, why the hell did I feel it in my stomach? I began to brush my teeth, and remove my makeup. A gentle knock rapped on the bathroom door. I paused, worry filling me if it was my parents back early. If it was one of the guys, they would’ve been yelling or had waited until I was out to even get up.
“...Yes?” I asked softly, my heartrate picking up and fear filling my blood.
“Hey Christine...” His voice spoke gently through the crack of the door, quiet enough to only be heard by myself.
I opened the bathroom door, my makeup staples gone, leaving me feeling slightly exposed as I saw Schlatt standing there. He was leaning against the frame of the door, towering over me. My heart fluttered, for some fucking reason. His breath still slightly smelt of cheap strawberry wine. “What’s up Schlatt?” I asked, meeting his forlorn gaze.
“Would you be willing to trade sleeping places? The sleeping bag is pretty small, and I can’t sleep...” His voice was smooth, no drunk stammering or abrasive tone.
“I mean... that’s my bed.”
“I know... it’d be awkward though if I asked to sleep in it with you though.”
I stood there at a loss of thoughts, emotions, or any sort of reason. His eyes were looking for something in mine, something I hadn’t seen in before. I could hear the other guys shuffling in the bedroom from our talking. I looked past him, and instinctively pulled him into the bathroom, gently closing the door behind him. Why did I just grab him and bring him in here like he was a secret?
“Here, let’s not wake those guys up.” I stammered, sitting on the bathtub. “I’m not exactly willing to give up my bed,” I spoke still holding onto his hand for some reason. His hand tightened its grip slowly, holding mine in it. “However, since it’s a queen, there’s room for both of us...” I trailed off, my mind racing now. My heart fluttered, and my cheeks grew flush.
Schlatt looked at me, his mouth slightly parted. He looked stunned that I was still holding onto his hand, which I was too. “Would, would you be okay with sharing it?” I asked.
“I, I would.” He spoke out. His thumb slowly, ever so gently began to make passes on the back of my hand. “I’ll keep to one side, don’t worry...” He spoke.
“I don’t know if I want you to.”
“Be in the bed?”
“...No... no. To stick to one side...” I murmured, barely above a whisper. I turned away from him, hiding the flush on my cheeks, trying to do this gently without crossing the lines between our friendship.
“Chris...” He spoke, and leaned down to me. His face was right next to and above mine as I faced him, my heart racing. We were no more than a whisper apart.
He closed the gap between us, between our lips. I froze, not knowing whether to lean in, or to pull away. He was a friend... nothing more.
He pulled away after a second, leaving me stunned. His eyes were gentle on mine, taking it easy with his advancement. “Is.. is this okay?” He stuttered out, his heat rate as fast as mine. His hand still held mine, the gently strokes of his thumb both fanning the flames and calming my nerves. I took a couple breaths as I thought.
“... I, I think so.”
“Can I have another?”
“Yeah, yeah you can have another.” He pressed his lips delicately to mine again, savoring the first kisses. I pressed mine gently against his too, the butterflies in me flapping away. This one lasted a few seconds longer, my mind raced though. He’s drunk, does he mean this? Has he always felt this? Does he really want to do this? What next?
I pulled away softly, enough to speak. “Schlatt... are you sure about this? About kissing me?”
“I’m pretty sure... You just looked too pretty t’night to pass up on this...”
“Do, do you mean it? Like, how serious about this are you?”
“I wanted to do this, toots. I hoped I was going to have the chance to tell you sometime soon, but those fucks were being so rowdy that this was the best time to try and tell you.”
I paused. “Tell me?”
Schlatt stammered for a second, choosing his words as well as he could. "I like you more than as a friend... I was thinkin’ about it the other night out on Tucker’s trampoline. We’ve been friends for awhile now, but I've really only just started to see you this way. I thought I was just bein’ crazy... but I know now, for sure, that I need you, more than as a friend. That's why I was calling you at like 4 that night, but the guys took my phone away."
I stood up, stunned. He wanted to see more than as a friend? Like, more than just hanging out with the guys and getting shitfaced? “Schlatt? Do you really, really mean that? Is that just the alcohol talking?”
“You know what they say, drunk minds speak sober hearts...” His hand moved to the small of my back. My heart jumped, flipped, it was doing everything except slowing down. “And I’ve sobered up enough to know I mean it.”
I looked up in his eyes, his smile turning me into a puddle. “I, I don’t know if I’ve ever thought of you like that, I’ve just never though I would have a chance, I guess...” I stammered.
“Call it the law of Propinquity, because you’ve grown on me the more we’ve been together, and I don’t want it to end.” How dare he use some psychology just to woo me.
“Can we take it slow, for tonight, then? I’m just, I would really need to ease into this... I need to get my feelings straight before anything... this is happening really, really fast.” I trailed off, my mind whirring.
“Sure, but can I still sleep in your bed tonight, with you? No funny business either, promise.” He held out his other hand, his pinky finger extended.
I wrapped mine in his slowly. “Yes, you can. No funny business... If you cross half of the bed though, I don't think I’d be mad. If you pull anything stupid thoug, I'm blaming you being drunk.”
“Deal,” He smirked, leaning down and planting a kiss on my forehead. He pulled away, and his hand unwrapped itself from mine, and moved to meet his other palm around my back. I moved to wrap my hands around his waist, bringing myself into a hug with him. My heart fluttered, raced, tumbled, it did everything it could to keep itself from bursting out of my chest. So far, I knew I wanted this too.
“Hey, Schlatt,” I murmured into his chest, my head pressed into his shirt.
“Yes, toots?”
“Does anyone know about this?”
“I’ve mentioned it to the guys before, but they brushed it off because they didn’t want me to ruin the friend group if anything happened.” One of his hands moved to hold my head against him, his fingers gently tussling my hair. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship... but it’d bother me to see you with anyone else.” He huffed softly, the gentle exhale wafting down my head.
I held him gently, my hold on him unwavering as I heard his confession. He was still drunk, right? “I wasn’t planning on being with anyone.”
“I know, you’ve said that a few times over the past few months, but I don’t want to miss the chance to be with you. I needed you to know.”
“Thank you for telling me Schlatt. I need to think though, but I’ll promise you I won’t make this awkward if I can’t decide what to do... maybe after breakfast tomorrow I’ll have some of my thoughts straight. Tonight’s just been crazy, keeping everyone from tearing the barn down.” I looked up at him. His chin gently scraping across the top of my head. He tilted his head down to look at me, his light brown hair gently falling off of his head and into his eyes. He pressed his lips again to my forehead.
He pulled away, moving his hands to my hips as he took a step back. He continued to gaze at me, still wonderfully lost in mine. “Whenever you make up your mind, I’ll be waiting.” I pulled my arms away from him, looking to finish getting ready for bed. The silence lingered as I stuttered a sentence together.
“I, I need another minute or two before I’m ready for bed, I have to get out of these clothes and change into my pajamas.”
“M’kay, toots. Well if you need a shirt to change into, I have one you could use, that’s already warm.”
I smiled softly, glancing down at his tee. “Thanks, but I’ve got mine. I don’t think you’d want everyone to see you shirtless in my bed, and I, with your shirt on next to you.”
“Ah, to hell with them. They’re gonna give me shit anyways, especially if I tell them I got to kiss you, they won’t even believe me since they didn’t see it.”
“Maybe you should wait to tell them that anything happened, they might make it worse.”
“I’ll wait, but only because you nicely suggested it.”
“Until then, you can go climb into my bed, I’ll be there soon.” I turned to open the bathroom door, as Schlatt tiptoed back into the hallway towards the room.
“I’ll be waitin’ for ya toots,” he whispered softly.
I softly closed the bathroom door again, my mind in a frenzy as to what had just happened in here. Did he really confess he had feelings for me, and kissed me? I kissed him back? Did I really like it, or was it just the heat of the moment? Did I accidentally drink and now I’m drunk letting my emotions out around the guys? He’s going to be sleeping in my bed now? Would it be wrong... if I let him hold me close? If I let him kiss me goodnight? Is it a bad idea to seek out more?
I quickly stripped my shirt off, contemplating if I should keep my bra on, since I wasn’t going to be sleeping alone tonight. I didn’t want to send any signals that could come off as trying to seduce him. Hell, he was going to sleep on one half of the bed, and we said no funny business. I took it off, tossing it in the hamper, the forgotten key clanking on the floor. I picked it up and put it with the mound of belongings I kept in my pants pockets. I changed into the shorts I had brought into the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror once more. Is it okay to sleep in the same bed as him, wearing this? He won’t think this is a hint, right? It’s just, pajamas.
I turned the bathroom light off, and quietly tiptoed into the dark bedroom. The soft light from my string lights illuminated my bed, seeing Schlatt laying on one side. He was on this phone, but as I walked towards it, he turned it off, and turned his attention towards me.
“I should’ve told you, that’s my side of the bed... but it’s okay. I just have my phone charger set up over there. I’ll sleep on this side tonight.” I toed to the other side of the bed, softly slipping under the comforter.
“Oh, sorry. You can have it if you want, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you had a side since it was wholly your bed.”
“Oh it’s fine, you can stay there. I usually just press myself up against the wall and then wrap myself up, almost like a burrito. Could I plug my phone in?”
“Yeah, of course.” Schlatt shifted, grabbing the charging cord and pulling it taut. I leaned over, grabbing it from his hand and plugging my phone it. I moved to set it on the window ledge above us as I felt his his hand wrap around my waist. I hitched my breath as I shot a glance down at him, stunned.
“Can I please hold you tonight?” He begged, his puppy eyes left me feeling almost pitiful. I slowly settled into the bed, pulling the pillow on the other side of the bed close to the one he was laying on.
“S... Sure...” I replied softly, fitting myself into the nook of his arm and his body. He slid his arm to fit under my neck, and his other pulled me close against his chest again. I slip my legs to be against his, entangling them as I realized, He only had his boxer briefs on.
My legs grazed his, the skin-to-skin contact sent voltage through my veins. I rarely saw him with anything other than sweatpants or pants on, even less shorts... but now... just boxer briefs? I brought my left leg between his, slowly entangling us beyond repair.
“Mmph, shorts huh?” He whispered, his legs gently rubbing against mine. I whispered back, a hint of playfulness as I was thinking the same thing.
“Psh, these are my pajamas, you’re in my bed, don’t forget. Why are you in just... those?”
“Did you want me to sleep in my pants?”
“Well, I didn’t exactly plan on you sleeping in my bed in just your boxers...”
“Well, I didn’t plan on this either, but I’m not gonna complain... you’re really pretty like this.”
I blushed at his words, hoping he couldn’t see as I tucked my head further into his chest. I felt vulnerable, being without any makeup, in my pajamas, in his arms.
“Thank you... I don’t really feel pretty like this... I like how I look with my makeup and jeans on more.”
“Nahhh,” He coaxed, his hand rubbing gently on my back, focusing on the space between my shoulder blades, his fingertips pressing into my skin looking for something. “You’re pretty all the time, toots. I’m just seeing this side of you for the first time, and wanted to let you know you’re more than that outer shell of yours, you’re like a crab, that tough outer shell, but you’re all sweet and soft on the inside.”
“Shh, Schlatt, you’re still drunk... try to get some rest Hun-“ the term of endearment slipping out of my lips. I never really tried to use those terms with the guys, since it made it awkward. It was second nature for me, having a mom who grew up in the south.
“M’kay toots, I’ll get some sleep, you should too. It’s going to be a good night with you in my arms.” He pressed a kiss to my head, and held me close as he shuffled into the bed.
“Goodnight, Schlatt. Sleep well,” I murmured, letting the drowsiness settle in for myself.
“Goodnight, Madame,” He nuzzled his head on top of mine, settling in for the night.
The other boys were sound asleep, passed out from the fervor of partying in the shop all night in their drunken stupor. Schlatt held me close, his body twitching as he slipped into his slumber. I drifted off as well, letting the night surround us. I was worried about how everyone would react in the morning when they saw Schlatt in my bed, holding me in his arms in just his boxers and myself in shorts. There would be some explaining to do...
When I woke up though, when the sun had risen, the other boys were barely starting to shuffle in their makeshift beds. I looked in my bed, feeling emptiness. I searched the floor to find Schlatt “asleep” in his sleeping bag. I sat up, stretching and wiping the sleep out of my eyes. I gazed around, Tucker slowly emerging from his cocoon.
“Why the fuck did I go to sleep like that?” He spoke to himself, working his way out of the sleeping bag groggily. Once his head peered out, he squinted, not handling the sunlight well, and throwing his hands over his eyes.
“Hey, good morning. Did ya come out a pretty butterfly?” I asked, my voice still groggy with sleep.
“Nope, still a fuckin’ caterpillar,” He huffed back jokingly, “but with a fuckin headache now.” Schlatt rolled over, his gaze catching mine. Did he remember last night? Did I just dream it all?
“Nah, you’re hungover,” Schlatt spoke softly, his eyes never leaving mine as he spoke. They were different, they were hard to read, but they weren’t the hollow gaze he had with the other guys. Ted rolled over, his arm flopping down onto the floor, hitting it with a solid thud. He opened his eyes sharply, his hand recoiling as he pulled it close, the shock waking him up immediately.
“Hey, good morning Ted,” I spoke, watching as he stared at his hand, waiting for his pain receptors to catch up to him.
“Morning...” He trailed off, shaking it off. He sat up, making his way to the bathroom. Tucker sat up on his sleeping bag, still trying to bring himself to opening his eyes.
“Do you need anything? Maybe some migraine medicine? Some cheap greasy breakfast?” I asked, trying to find a way to make sure he wasn’t going to be hungover for too long.
“Maybe we can all go out for breakfast, I could go for some of that Mexican place’s breakfast burritos right about now,” He murmured, rubbing his eyes as he tried to keep looking around and get adjusted to the sun. He stood up slowly.
“Is there another bathroom downstairs?”
“Yeah, you go down the stairs, and then take a right, the door is on the left wall by the kitchen.” I assured him.
“Thanks, I might be in there for a little.”
“No worries, we’ll get some breakfast after everyone’s up.”
“Oh hell yeah, I’ll put away some food right about now,” His voice trailed off as he moved out the door.
“Check on Charlie please while you’re down there,” I hollered. My gaze moved back to Schlatt, his body awkwardly seated in the sleeping bag.
“Hey, good morning, Schlatt,” I spoke softly, my voice barely filling the space between us, “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, I slept well,” he spoke softly, running his hand through his hair. “How about you?”
“I slept well...” I trailed off, looking at him for the answer as to why he moved off the bed. “Why’d you move?” I asked gently.
“ I didn’t know if I was crossing boundaries last night. I’m sorry if I was, it would’ve been too much to explain too if they saw me in your bed,” He spoke softly. “I don’t really remember all of it, but I know I ended up in your bed last night, and I was holding you.”
“You were-“
Ted walked out of the bathroom, his hand ran through his hair. “So, how about some breakfast? Can we all go to that Mexican place in Bromley?”
I shot Schlatt a glance, a small reassuring nod letting him know we’d continue this conversation later. “Oh yeah, we’ll go grab some breakfast as soon as Tucker and Charlie are ready to.”
“Fuck yeah, Hey Tucker! Charlie! Get your shit together!” Ted yelled out, running downstairs towards them, leaving Schlatt and I alone again. My eyes moved back to him, and my voice barely above a whisper, asked him, “What do you remember from last night?”
“I just remember us all partying in the shop, and then we made it inside. I woke up in your bed... I’m sorry if I just made myself at home.”
“Yeah, I know you weren’t the most sober last night. It’s okay, you were talking about how your sleeping bag was too small for you, damn Tucker took the one I had that was longer. I’m sorry about that.” I pressed my hands against my hair, trying to smooth it down after sleeping on it.
Schlatt smiled softly, his eyes showing that he was still unsure about the night’s events, about what all he might have said. There was a softness that wasn’t there before. He cleared his throat, and moved to grab his pants that were on the floor next to the bed. “I, uh, I don’t have any pants on...”
“Do you want me to leave so you can put them on?” I stood up, still in the shorts and tee, moving to the closet to grab a change of clothes for the day. I walked past where he was sitting up, his lower half still in the sleeping bag.
“I mean... You don’t have to leave, but maybe don’t look...”
“Sure, I’ll just be looking for a shirt for today... let me know when you’re dressed.”
“Thanks.” I felt him stand up, shifting and slipping his pants on.
“No problem, I did however notice last night when we went to bed that you were only in your boxer briefs.” I grabbed a shirt off the shelf, and moved to grab a pair of jeans.
“You were awake when I climbed in your bed?”
“You beat me to it actually, you were in it before I could lay down. You asked, if that’s any consolation.”
He huffed, a small nervous laugh left him. “I guess it is, you can turn around now.”
I turned around after grabbing my full change of clothes, to see him standing there. He looked lost, trying to remember what all he had said, or done. I walked up to him, standing toe-to-toe with him. I leaned my head upwards, meeting his graze as he looked down at me, standing so close to him. “You told me a lot last night Jay, things that I’ve never heard from anyone else.” His hands nervously shifted to his hips, looking to ground himself after I used his first name. I never did, unless something serious was pressing.
“I, I did?”
“You did... I’ll tell you about in on the drive into town. We’ll drive separate from the guys so we can talk more, okay? I’ll just tell them I need your help with loading feed after breakfast.”
I'm breaking out all of my western, cowboy, prairie farmer, agricultural tragic, knowledge to make an album I think Farmer Schlatt would like: If people also want a basic introduction into classic country and not just the really awful modern stuff, this includes plenty of songs that aren't the hits, but still by the big names in the industry.
Spotify!
Youtube 😎
My credentials below the cut:
Literally was born and raised in the Great Plains
Lived on a farm and raised chickens, ducks, grew crops
Spent my youth summers in the south where my mom was born and raised on a farm as well, riding horses and tending to their small count of livestock/llamas
Can identify and diagnose most vehicle problems (but have a specialty in Fords predating '96, because I've owned like 4 and my fiance owns 5-10?? I lost count) and work on them myself
I can also identify most pickup trucks and some semi trucks based on their sound, almost to the generation of the vehicle (not really experience, but I feel it necessary to include)
My current job involves tractor operations, carpentry, tree maintenance, trail maintenance, vehicle/ equipment maintenance. Previous jobs required me to restore and maintain historic buildings and cemeteries
I have a Class A CDL, and drive a pickup truck every day (work and personal, auto and manual)
With this new wave of Farmer Schlatt I have so many goddamn ideas for fics, and I have a fic based on some true stories back when I lived on the farm, it's not finished, but damn it'd be fitting just about now... it's like 15k words and been sitting in my laptop since last winter 👀
