The Stars are Full of Hope, The Moon Shatters it
There will be a happy ending, I promise! Just bear with me through this one! On the plus? Side this is the first time I’ve cried writing my own fic so there’s that! Part three of the Var is captured by Donella fic! Enjoy!
“The stars are so pretty tonight.”
“You would say something like that.”
“I think the moon is prettier.”
Varian hummed, leaning his head against Hugo’s shoulder, playing with his fingers. “I like the stars. They give me hope.”
“Are we still talking about the stars?”
“You tell me.” A smile played on his lips before bringing them up to meet Hugo’s.
Varian kept his eyes focused on the ground, he couldn’t look at the stars, the moon was shining too bright, taunting him, twisting his memories with its harsh light. He hated this, he hated all of this. He wanted to help Hugo, but at the same time he couldn’t stand to look at the other, all of the memories he once treasured would be tainted with this terrible bitterness of his betrayal. Was this how Rapunzel had felt? No, it couldn’t be. He was sure it still hurt like hell, but they were never anything other than friends, they might not have even really been friends then. He had idolized her, cherished the time they spent together, still it hadn’t quite been friendship at that point, he had just been eager to impress and she just wanted answers. With Hugo it was different, he had nothing to gain, still he gave himself to the other, emotionally, physically, in anyway possible, he was Hugo’s and Hugo was his. At least he thought.
He squeezed his eyes shut tight. He wanted to scream and cry and punch and kick. Most of all he still wanted to run into Hugo’s arms, let him comfort him, tell him everything was going to be fine, they’d figure it out together, they always did. Except they couldn’t anymore, they couldn’t rely on each other, they couldn’t trust each other. He found himself second guessing every part of their relationship, how much of it had been real? How much of it had been to get the information he needed?
“What did you wish for this time?”
“Maybe if I look at the journal I can find something you missed.”
“I like you! You stubborn bastard! Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
He needed to get away he couldn’t do this, not here, not now. His mind didn’t seem to care, dragging up memory after memory. He was drowning in them, he couldn’t breathe, still he ran. Trying to out run his own mind as each resurfacing memory was slaughtered by the implications of Hugo’s betrayal behind them. He couldn’t breathe. He needed it to stop, he needed it all to stop.
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“I can still see them, dumbass. Their just blurry.”
“Why do you have my mother’s journal?”
“It was supposed to be a surprise, but you just have to ruin everything don’t you?” Varian shot him a look at that, Hugo holding his hands up in defeat. “I found a clue to the next totem.”
“Hey, Varian?” He hummed in response from where his head rested on Hugo’s chest, drawing patterns on his bare chest. “This might not be the most romantic way to say this but-“
Varian pecked his lips, smiling brightly. “I love you too.” Hugo’s eyes lit up like stars.
He blinked, tears blurring his vision. Hugo was crouched in front of him, concern evident on his features. Varian leaned against a tree, the coldness of the ground seeping through his clothes. He dug his fingers into the dirt, tangling the stands of grass around them. How had he gotten here?
“Varian, where are you?” Hugo asked, voice steady despite his own lingering tears.
Varian didn’t answer the question, bringing his eyes up to the sky. The stars twinkling down through the branches of the trees. “The stars look pretty tonight.”
Hugo laughed, Varian didn’t understand, it wasn’t funny, this wasn’t funny. “You would say something like that.”
Varian smiled softly, letting the slight breeze tousle his hair. It was a wonderfully blissful moment and for that moment he forgot what brought him there. It was just him and Hugo under the stars. And then it crashed down around him as Hugo’s hand found his. The pain, the betrayal, the lies, he felt like he was being stabbed in the heart over and over. He pulled his hand away, and somehow it made him feel worse. The anger welled up inside him, desperately trying to claw its way out. Hugo needed to suffer like he made him suffer. He needed to feel his pain, understand his hurt. He banished the thoughts, he’d been down that path before and he refused to return to it, still his pain remained, piling on with the guilt of even thinking those terrible thoughts. He opened his mouth to say something, to say anything that might help, but the words never formed, they never got the chance.
“Isn’t this sweet?” Donella cooed, stepping out from the fog that was swirling around them. “I thought you knew better than to get attached to your playthings.”
“Hey!” Varian yelled, pushing himself to his feet and shooting her the most menacing look he could as if he hadn’t been on the verge of a breakdown seconds before. He hated how she talked about him like he wasn’t even there. He hated it more when Hugo raised his hand to silence him.
“Varian, is not a plaything. He’s-“
Donella laughed, the sound echoing in the darkness. “He’s not? So you didn’t string him along with sweet words, promises that you’ll be better, that you can change. Did you tell him you loved him before or after you fucked?”
Hugo was shaking at his side, Varian could practically see the steam coming off of him. It didn’t really matter though, the words hurt, it hurt more that Hugo wasn’t denying it. He said nothing in his defense, he said nothing to contradict her words. Varian wanted to defend him, to stick up for him, but he couldn’t, he didn’t know him anymore, all he knew were the lies he weaved, all he knew was the hole in his heart.
“Don’t look so surprised, dear, I know all your tricks. Just give me the totems and I’ll forget this ever happened. I’ll even let your little toy go.” Donella had her hand outstretched again. Varian was getting sick of it. He took a step back fully intending to run, whether or not Hugo came with or after him was up to him. He didn’t get far, Donella’s henchman slamming him into a tree and pinning him there. He gasped for air, the wind having been knocked from his lungs in the confrontation. Still he tried to get away, a battle he knew from experience he’d lose.
“I need you to make a decision, Hugo.” Donella was sounding more impatient, tone taking on a sharper edge.
“I can’t give you the totems.” Hugo responded, hands clenched at his sides, eyes darting around as he tried to find a way out.
Donella clicked her tongue, nodding her head to her henchman. His hand moved from Varian’s chest to his throat, eliciting a gasp from him as his airways closed. He clawed at the hand, trying to get him to let go, he needed to breathe, his head was already spinning and this was not helping. He didn’t hear the conversation that happened in front of him, through his fading vision he could make out their lips moving, Hugo obviously angry, yelling, frantically gesturing to Varian. Donella looked bored, twirling a knife between her fingers, an action he’d seen Hugo do many times. And then he was dropped. He fell to his knees, greedily sucking in air, Hugo suddenly in front of him, his hands were running through his hair, his face, anywhere they could, checking to see if Varian was okay.
He placed a shaky kiss on top of his head, Varian didn’t have the energy to push him away. “Are you okay?”
This time he did push Hugo away. “What did you do?!” He asked between breaths. He didn’t know air could be so wonderful, how had he taken it for granted? He tried not to focus on it too much, Hugo was already digging around in his backpack. “What are you doing?!”
“I’d be thanking him if I were you.” It took him entirely too long to realize Donella was talking to him. “He did trade the totems for your life.”
“You didn’t.” He said, eyes wide as they searched Hugo’s for an answer. Hugo nodded softly, the action almost not visible it was so minute. He wanted to be mad, to scream, to fight, but he didn’t have it left in him, he was too emotionally drained.
“I did.” Hugo answered, although his eyes held something else beneath the words. A small twinkle behind all the emotion, something he knew meant he had a plan. He hated after everything he was forced to trust Hugo, he hated that he still did. He let Hugo remove the backpack from his shoulders, in one swift motion he swung it back and it connected with Donella’s henchmen’s head with a sickening crack. He dropped to the ground with a loud thud. Varian scrambled to his feet, the air leaving his lungs again when Hugo slammed the backpack into his arms. “Run.”
“I would listen to him, dear.” Donella warned as she lunged, swinging her knife through the air. He ducked just in time to dodge the strike. Hugo grabbed her arm and tugged it behind her back. She simply dropped the knife into her other hand, this time it was poised to strike Hugo. He released her arm to grab the knife. She let him, kicking him in the gut as soon as he had it in his grasp. He stumbled back, dropping the knife in the process, but staying upright. Varian dove for the knife scooping it off the ground. He fumbled with the knife, Donella punching Hugo as he struggled to grasp the item. He saw Hugo hit the ground, wasting no time in plunging the knife into Donella’s shoulder.
“You’re more trouble than you’re worth, little pest.” She screamed, pulling the knife out of her shoulder. She swung it through the air, Varian dodging at such a strange angle that he could feel the tip of it cut across his eyebrow. He blamed the added weight of the totems for throwing his off balance and sending him to the floor. Varian’s eyes grew wide in fear, as she rose the knife, he covered his face as if it would do anything against the incoming attack. He felt the wind as it sliced through the air, heard the rip of the fabric, and yet he felt no pain, not anymore than he already felt anyways. He brought his hands down, panic rising in his chest as he saw Hugo in front of him. Donella looked as mortified as he felt, dropping the knife to the ground. She looked conflicted, not sure if she should stay to check on Hugo or run while she still could. It seemed she chose the other, bolting into the woods.
Hugo dropped to his knees then, his breathing labored. Varian caught him, laying him on his lap. The cut across his chest was angry and red, blood flowing freely from it. Hugo just laughed, tears welling in his eyes as he reached up and cupped Varian’s face. “I-I told you I loved you.”
Varian didn’t know he was crying until the droplets stained Hugo’s shirt, mixing with the blood. He felt sick, he felt like his heart was being broken all over again, only this time there was no fixing it. “You don’t get to say that. Not like this.”
“It’s okay.” The tears flowed down Hugo’s cheeks, dulling the green.
“No! It’s not fair! You don’t get to fucking die! It’s not fair, it’s not fucking fair!” He was pressing his hands down on the wound, trying to stop the blood flow. It wasn’t fair, he didn’t get to pay for his mistakes this way, why did Hugo? He wasn’t going to take the easy way out. It wasn’t fair. He needed him, as much as he still hurt from his betrayal, as much as he didn’t want to, he needed Hugo.
“Promise me you’ll finish the trials? Free your mom and get your happy ending.” Hugo’s eyes were dulling and Varian was beginning to realize it wasn’t from the tears.
“No! I-I can’t do this without you. I need you, Hugo. And you’re going to spend the rest of your days making it up to me, okay? I’m going to make you so fucking miserable you’re going to wish you died today. Please, don’t leave me.” Varian pressed his forehead against Hugo’s, his cheeks feeling unusually cold now that Hugo’s hand wasn’t there.
Hugo laughed again. “I look forward to it. Hey, goggles?” Varian didn’t give a verbal answer, he couldn’t, but Hugo continued nonetheless. “You were right, the stars look pretty tonight.”
Varian laughed sadly. “You would say something like that.” He sobbed as Hugo’s breathing grew shallower. He fought when he was pulled away from him. He called his name as they dragged him away. He lashed out as Nuru tried to comfort him. He didn’t answer when Yong asked what happened. He denied help when he was offered it. Instead he sat outside the infirmary, awaiting whatever terrible news he would be told.
He looked to the sky. There were no stars tonight, only the moon and her harsh truth. There may never be stars again.
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