+ Articulate, reflective, approachable. - Anxious, embarrassing, short-tempered.
Has cool aunt energy despite being a regular mom. She's finally in the stage of life where she knows (mostly) what she wants so she's coming out of her shell in big ways - involving herself in the community, adding color to her new (solo-owned!) apartment, and throwing her entire wardrobe out in order to start fresh. She loves to laugh though she's not very funny, and she's always down for a glass of lemonade and a few cigarettes on the balcony.
A R R I V A L — ( 2005 )
The moment that Bernie and Milo graduated, they headed to Aurora Bay to be closer to Milo's family. Bernie loves California so it wasn't a huge change, but she never quite felt like she fit in. Almost twenty years later she's finally made some steps toward making Aurora Bay her home.
C O N N E C T I O N S —
Delilah Carreño: close friends. Met very early on into Bernie's time in Aurora Bay, and they've managed to hold onto their friendship the whole time.
Elliot Wray: ex-situationship. Kilroy's sister and the reason Bernie was able to find her sexuality & her confidence to leave her ex-husband. They don't talk anymore... much.
Mei Huang: good friends. Bernie doesn't much like being a mom, but she likes being a mom with Mei.
Milo Wray: Ex-husband. Currently on bad terms, though in a tired kind of way.
E X T R A B I T S —
– Never used to care about her nails, but after her divorce/coming out (and after fixing her relationship with her sister), she started going bi-weekly to get a full mani/pedi with her sister. It's a great way to bond and also to check in with herself/show some self care.
– Disaster in the kitchen. DO NOT LET THIS WOMAN COOK! Has set multiple kitchen fires. Her biggest expense outside of the club is all of the delivered food she gets.
– (Mostly) sober because she gets too wild when she drinks. If there's an event at the club she's particularly excited about she'll have a few drinks, but she always employs one of her friends to keep her safe.
– Has the loudest, most annoying laugh in the world. It sounds fake but it's all naturale, baby. If you really get her going, she'll start wheezing.
B A C K G R O U N D —
tw: cheating
- Bernie grew up the daughter of two first-generation Korean immigrants. Her and her younger sister were treated under the harsh boots of two loving parents who both feared and adored America, so curfews were strict and screen time was non-existent. Bernie was always good with the rules imposed in her household, but her sister, Carol, was not.
- Carol and Bernie's relationship seesawed back and forth depending on how harsh their parents were being. Most of the time, they weren't on good terms. The four year gap between them kept them at odds, and even after Bernie left for college, the divide between the sisters stayed.
- The only escape Bernie ever had from her home - the only place she could be completely alone - was in her writing. Poetry mostly, though also short stories and, though they made her blush to handwrite, romances. Her passion (and talent) for her craft was clear from a young age; her teachers encouraged her, even if her parents didn't, and preferred she follow a more lucrative career path like being a doctor, or... being a doctor.
- Bernie applied to as many colleges as she could, as far away as she found, with as little contact with her family as possible. While she promised she'd pursue a degree her parents would be proud of her for, the first thing Bernie did was declare herself undeclared and the second thing she did was fill her schedule with classes she thought were more interesting than biology or anatomy.
- The third thing she did was fall in love.
- Milo Wray was charm with legs. He captured Bernie's heart immediately with feats of romance like flowers delivered to her dorm room and improv'd songs in the cafeteria. He was like a character from a rom-com come to life and wouldn't you know it, he loved her, of all people. Plain Bernadette Cho was the apple of a man's eye. That's what she always wanted, right? What she always should have wanted?
- Three years of school flew by, and the summer before their senior year, Milo pitched marriage. It felt like a simple choice: her parents would hate it, so of course Bernie should do it. This was also, unfortunately, around when Bernie's horrible bout of writer's block took hold; she struggled academically through much of her English degree requirements, and many professors spoke of their concern. She waved off their worries, graduated, and then Kilroy whisked her off to Aurora Bay to start their family.
- For a long time, Bernie took birth control pills religiously. While she knew that, eventually, her husband expected children, her own strained relationship with her parents always turned her off to the idea. She just wasn't ready, and, truthfully, she wasn't certain she ever would be. Instead of a baby, Milo decided they should invest in a business. Without a real plan for her life anymore, Bernie agreed, and together they opened Hot Spot: a night club that, though insistent upon it's unique qualities, turned out to be just like any other night club.
- And so that was life for nearly a decade. Years passed by like water through her fingers; never once did she turn back to her writing that had at one point been her only solace. Her distance led to some drinking and partying that she isn't proud of, and her drinking and partying led her to a string of bad decisions (and lack of care) that resulted in a baby. When Bernie was a ripe 30 years old (truly in her prime!) she gave birth to a daughter: Penelope.
- Though she's loathe to admit it, Bernie felt burdened by the child. While she'd been pretty sure before, now she was certain: motherhood wasn't for her. She didn't even know if she loved Milo anymore. She didn't even know if she really loved men at all.
- In a terrible turn of events (and decidedly not the fault of drinking), Bernie began sleeping with Milo's sister when Penelope was 2. It just happened. The stress of being a new mother paired with the stress of being in a relationship she wasn't even sure she was still happy in drove her to terrible places - mostly between Elliot Wray's legs.
- Three years of on-and-off sleeping around finally led to Milo discovering the affair (2019). Crushed and murderous, he threatened Bernie's parental rights. She didn't want them anyway. While she did want to be there for her daughter, she knew she couldn't be the parent that Penelope deserved, so she took partial custody of Penny and full custody of Hot Spot.
- With a failing business on her hands and a new life in front of her, Bernie decided to embrace the newer clientele she had been serving. Most of the Hot Spot's patrons were fruity as it is, due to their high security measures making drag queens and their crews feel safe enough to dance without watching over their shoulders. In January of 2020, Bernie closed the Hot Spot for "renovations", and in April, she re-opened it under the name Seafoam. Since it's rebranding and reopening as an LGBTQ+ bar, its impact on the community (and Bernie's sense of self) has only grown.
- After Milo and Bernie's divorce, Bernie called off the affair with Elliot. They're civil - more civil than with Milo - but it's not exactly hugs and kisses. Now, Bernie's throwing everything she has into making Seafoam as lively as possible, as well as being the best every-other-weekend-mother she can be.
- When the whole ordeal with Bernie and Milo went down, Carol reappeared in her sister's life, this time with the intention of staying there for good. They've been repairing their relationship ever since, and are now best friends in the way they could never be while growing up. Carol has also been her biggest fan, hyping her up to get her back into writing (because the minute she left her ex-husband, her muse came back. How funny!)
"I could tell you a funfact. Like did you know diamonds rain on Neptune? That's a pretty fun one, and a great place to get rich... if space travel extends that far."
"There are plenty of diamonds on Earth. The only reason they're so expensive is because the jewelry industry has implanted the idea of scarcity into our society so they can sell more rings." Like the one in Bernie's chest of drawers, wrapped in a sock and tucked at the very back of the bottom shelf. She makes a buzzer sound. "Any other fun facts for me?"
Nate knocks on the bartop and then points across it at her. "I have exactly one party trick," he says, digging in his jeans pockets and then his coat pockets and finding a quarter among the lint and roll of doggie bags. "But it's actually a good one. Ready?"
Placing the quarter on top of the index finger of his right hand, he flips it smoothly between his knuckles once, twice, three times, and then finally fucks it up and drops the quarter. "Shit," he laughs. "Hey, not bad though, right? Worthy of a free shot?" @berniecho
Bernie watches the kid flip a quarter around like a broke magician, eyes narrowing when the quarter bounces wrong off his finger. Now, Bernie certainly can't do that herself - she's neither dexterous nor patient enough to learn - but he seems so pleased with himself that she feels almost obligated to give him the drink.
"Half a shot at best. Lucky for you, I'm feeling generous. If you can do it again, longer, I'll give you two shots."
"You have a habit of leaving your shit all over my place, you know that?" Elliot said as she handed a plastic bag over to Bernie and invited herself in.
She left her shoes at the door, shrugged off her jacket, made herself comfortable on the couch. Presumptuous? Absolutely. But even as they were still navigating the early stages of this new/not-new situation between them, they were past the point of having to posture and bat their eyelashes at each other in hopes of subliminally communicating what they wanted.
Elliot sunk deep into Bernie's couch stubbornly. She would leave if so ordered — and make a big show of her displeasure on the way out, surely — but she was impatient and her pride was still smarting a bit from the last time Bernie rebuffed her.
"I never took you for the loud Victoria's Secret push-up type, but," she shrugged, as though the gaudy, cherry-embroidered bra tucked in the bag didn't kind of turn her off, "to each her own."
Bernie hitches the chain lock after closing the door - mindless habit, a Pavlovian response to seeing Elliot in her home. When she still lived with Milo, it gave them extra time to hide the evidence. Now, living in her new apartment, there's no reason beyond general safety to do it. There's no husband on his way back from a conference to catch them, no well-meaning house cleaner with headphones who might catch an eye-full.
"Don't sit on my Sudoku - you'll wrinkle the page." Bernie pads after Elliot into the living room, unbothered by both her sudden presence and ability to make the space completely hers by simply sitting in it. The Sudoku is rescued and set safely on the table before Bernie's taking its place on the cushion beside her unexpected guest. She makes sure to readjust her robe for a modicum of modesty, like Elliot didn't just walk into her house on her night off and hold her bra up in a bag like some scoundrel...
Except that is not Bernie's bra. And both of them know it.
Bernie, who froze the minute that the words Victoria's Secret came out of Elliot's smug little mouth, begins to smile. She places a hand on Elliot's knee - a careful, dangerous hand - and says evenly:
"Elliot, darling. We both know damn well that piece of middle-school costume jewelry is not mine. So why did you bring it into my fucking house?"
📺 Nostalgiacore: Is there a certain memory muse holds onto? A memory that stuck with them for a long time?
"Yes. Sitting and attempting to braid my sister's hair while we watched reruns of the Carol Burnett show with our parents. There is such a beauty in the mundane, I think. Her hair was always too pin-straight to stay in the braids, and they fell apart before I could get to the bottom. We'd sit there forever. I'd braid her hair over and over again, and our parents would be laughing, and we'd be rolling our eyes at them laughing... It may not even be a real, solid, single memory, but a conglomerate. It's special to me either way."
Putting his best foot forward -- no foot, really, as he sits on a bar stool -- Easy recalls the advice he's been given and attempts to put it to action. With a smile on his face, he hopes he looks approachable and relatable as instructed the day prior as he waves to the woman in his eyeline.
Sea Foam is a safe space. For anyone, not just the gaggles of gays who walk through the doors with too much hip and poppers not-so-subtly outlined in their pockets. This is something that Bernie has to tell herself often - has to remind herself that it's okay for freaks and weirdos to find a home here because that's why she'd relaunched this bar in the first place.
But god is this guy really testing her fucking limits.
"No," she says, shutting down the little wave he gave her with little more than a tight grimace. "I don't know what sort of drugs you're on but if you're going to sit at my bar you cannot be weird and unnerving to me. I stopped carrying pepper spray and started carrying a knife, so be very careful about how you order your drink."
Lore has seen it all, brides that don't want to see their dress and brides that have a difficult time looking it their dress. Some got angry at the price quoted. She really tired handle some of the more rude customers that came in, but Lore was much better at talking to clients about buying dresses. Someday she'd love to wear one of the dresses in here herself. Still, she had grown comfortable with where she was in life right now.
"We can hold on to it if you find that more comfortable or you can take it with you. I got all the photos of it they'd need. The person that does all the appraisals isn't in today." Lore knew she wouldn't be comfortable with leaving a dress she paid a lot of money for at a random store. Except she understood if the wedding had ended badly it wasn't the best. She knew what sort of styles they had in roughly, but Loretta wasn't the person that did inventory, so she could only give a rough estimate. "Sorry if that's not convenient. I don't want to give you the wrong price."
Bernie stares down at the heap of fabric, unable to parse through the rapid fire thoughts swimming through her head. Too much to think about, too much to feel, not enough emotional capacity to digest it all.
Does she really want to sell this? The last physical reminder - beyond Penny - that she and Milo really were married. That she really had, for a very long time, put herself into a box she thought she would eventually die in.
"It isn't convenient, no, but it's how things work. Tell you what, Loretta: keep the dress. If it's worth anything, keep the money, too. I don't want anything to do with it anymore. I know that must sound cold... You likely deal more with excited brides than old, disillusioned women like myself. I think, though, that this chapter of my life is finished; I just hope whoever buys it has better luck than I did."
“ I swear you won’t have to get a new car. I also won’t have it be a situation where getting a new car is cheaper than getting it fixed. I know a lot of places do that too. “ he explained before a small smile appeared on his face “ everything is fixable “
At least everything physical was fixable. His relationships he wasn’t completely sure. “ I’ll be honest if I get started now it should only be a few hours. That’s provided I don’t have to replace any parts but I can find that out in a few minutes “ @berniecho
"You're a miracle worker. Take your time - as long as it's done before I have to pick up my daughter tomorrow, I'm set. Can't let my ex-husband see that my driving skills haven't gotten any better."
Bernie smiles and offers her hand, paying no mind to the various car substances that blacken Jameson's skin. "Thank you for all your help."
Three - How faithful is your muse in a relationship?
"I've only had the one and it wasn't exactly a shining example of unswerving loyalty. I did spend a very, very long time dedicating my life to Milo, though. I loved him for a long time, and I gave up a lot of myself to be able to make his dreams easier. The rest is my fault. I don't expect to fall into anything serious any time soon, but if I do, I don't see myself going down that same path. Despite my track record, I don't consider myself unfaithful."
"I believe in the ancient sentiment of tit for tat. Karma's a bitch, and sometimes I have to be karma. For a really long time, I had no ability to cut people out of my life when they took advantage of me, and now I'm maybe too good at it. I feel a lot freer, though, that's for sure. Some might say I'm more of a betrayer than a betrayee, statistically, but... There isn't much I can do about that except try harder next time."
Queen - How often does your muse find themself being flirted with?
"I work at a bar, so... Often. I'm not under any impression that it means anything. We had to hike our prices up about sixty-five cents and I've seen more eyelash batting and cleavage than I ought to at my age. Real, interesting flirting, though, that's rare. I'd say it happens about... Every time I run into Elliot Wray?"
Loretta didn't like her job as much as she wished she did. Getting to see all the happy couples buying wedding dresses made her job awkward. She was happy for them of course, but she really thought by this point in her life she'd be married with a couple of kids. And she had a child and nothing else. She'd seen a future with Jameson until everything went wrong. She still wanted that life though and was too scared to ask for it. Happy couples were uncomfortable, but what was even more uncomfortable were people coming back to sell their dresses. Other people who's love lives didn't work out like hers were hard to interact with.
All she really needed to do was make sure the dress was in good condition. If it was dry rotting, had stains, or tears then she'd get in trouble for taking it. "Thanks," she smiles. There are other people milling about looking at bridesmaid dresses or their own dresses. Lore hung the dress up and started looking into it. "This has a stunning shape," she commented, looking up. It was awkward to talk about this sort of thing. "Um, I'm going to take a few pictures of it. If you want to fill this out," she put a form on the counter, "I can have one of our appraisers call you about pricing."
Bernie nods, short and tight, as the attendant - Loretta, her name tag reads - informs her about the process, letting a compliment slip between instructions. Bernie drags her eyes to the dress and does her best to keep her emotions schooled. It does have a beautiful shape - even more so when actually on her body. Ill-fated as it may have been, Bernie only has positive memories of the day she was married. She looked and felt beautiful, drank wine without getting herself in trouble, and spent the whole evening surrounded by the people she loves most. It was a dream.
Bernie blinks down at the form that's appeared in front of her.
"Right, sure... Sorry, so, I wouldn't get to sell it right away? I'd... Leave it here? To eventually hear back about an estimate?"
"I figured you wouldn't have decorated much at all with your trip, but looks like I need to step up my game, huh?"
Camryn walks into Bernie's apartment and takes a look around, and her observations give her a shot to her confidence in her low-level efforts of decorating her own home. In her hand is a small bag, and probably the last festive thing she had in her living room after she brought gifts to the firehouse for her crew, with tissue paper sticking out of it and glitter definitely flaking from the snowflakes on it.
"Those ornaments are cute, I don't even have a mini tree or stockings."
She turns to hold the gift bag out, and inside is a giftcard for her go-to nail salon, various restaurants in the area that offer take-out, and the generics so she didn't feel so lame gifting just gift cards: a lavender candle, a pack of shower steamers, cozy wool socks, and a seatbelt cutter-winder breaker tool — that one is more Camryn branded than the rest.
"Early Christmas present before you disappear to another timezone."
"Penny would kill me if I didn't put up a tree. Hell, if she didn't, my mother would, even from across the country." Bernie closes the door quietly behind them, then rushes off to the kitchen before the timer could interrupt the tranquility of her apartment. No effort on her part, really - these cookies came from a tub and sometimes she still manages to fuck them up - but Bernie couldn't have an evening in without some form of Christmas cheer. She sets the hot tray on the island and slips off the oven mitt, her face crinkling with Camryn's comment.
"Not even a garland? God, Cam, if I had known I would've let you borrow something of mine. If you're not decorated, how will Santa know to stop by your house?"
Bernie's delivery is dry and her lips are quirked. All of the amusement slips away, however, when she notices the bag in her friend's hand.
"Oh no," Bernie says, her eyebrows pitched up with horror. "Nonono. Is that a gift? Please tell me you didn't get me anything. Camryn," she pleads, suddenly embarrassed. "I didn't get you anything!"
Jameson being told he added levity to situations was surprising for him to hear. Considering his background he knew he was more negative than anything but he was trying his best to gain a new perspective. Having his daughter in his life was doing wonders to his mood.
“ I try my best. No one ever wants to hear bad news” he admitted before he couldn’t help but laugh a bit at her comment “ oh definitely. And believe me not everyone has as calm of a reaction as you have, most tend to yell at me about the cost “
“ that’s very nice of you but I promise I’m fine being called a mechanic” he admitted. “ I can repair all sorts of things but cars are my favorite. So you were right at it assuming I just did one thing but I feel like we’re a group who don’t mind being called what we do “ @berniecho
"If it puts you at ease, I won't be yelling about anything. The cost is what it is - especially since you seem to think everything is fixable. As long as I don't have to put money down on a new car, I'm happy."
Bernie nods, relieved. "Well. Mechanic it is then. Either way, thank you. How long do you think it will be? Hours? Days?"
Nelson could relate to wanting the space and the peace and quiet. The Quinn home had been huge but it was a silence he didn’t like because he never knew when his dad was lurking around. When he was gone he felt more like he could breathe. “ did you do anything for yourself or was the peace and quiet more than enough?”
At being asked about himself Nelson shook his head. “ you don’t want to hear my worst birthday, that one’s rough but my mediocre one involves revel and getting lost. “ @berniecho
A smirk appears on Jameson’s lips as he sees her expression. There wasn’t a lot that he was confident in but his ability to work on cars was something he had a lot of faith in. The guys bent most of his time able to rebuild anything mechanical.
“ you would need a family of squirrels to drive a car because the one at the steering wheel can’t touch the pedals, you know ?” He teased “ sorry I have a daughter and her imagination is very contagious “ he added before glancing back at her. “ because you didn’t really anything vital it was really lucky. “
“ automobile professional? “ he replied with a smirk. “ that’s funny. Im not offended by mechanic “ he admitted glancing back to her. It was a lot better than being called the other things hed been called over the years. “ oh that’s why older cars are more coveted the materials were just stronger. They’re expensive as hell though to restore “ @berniecho
Bernie's face brightens with an amused smile. She pictures the family of squirrels with perfect clarity; two at the pedals, two on the wheel, and one hanging around the gear shift, all with bushy tails and no clue how to wield a vehicle.
"Don't apologize, that's a good one. You have a nice way of adding levity to otherwise stressful situations - very much needed in this line of work. I'm sure you have to tell a lot of people bad news, whether about their car or how much they'll have to pay to fix it."
A spot of warmth blooms at the base of her neck; she isn't particularly embarrassed, but she has been caught. "I didn't know your specific title and didn't want to assume. I have absolutely zero knowledge on anything car related, and the last thing I want to do is pigeon-hole you into a job title that doesn't encapsulate your skills."
