sorry, but this is war!

bernadetta / brenna

[bernievera]

sylvain !

          Brenna’s skill never fails to impress him, no matter how much she tries to speak ill of herself. It’s especially true now, watching as she weaves the horrors of the war into something beautiful. Something people can read and be inspired by, instead of something that Sylvain has nightmares about every night.

          He’ll probably never tell her that every dream she’s had are actually memories - he’d rather let her remember herself. So he doesn’t say anything, instead putting a gentle hand on her shoulder before she talks herself out of never writing again.

          ❝ Hey, come on, don’t talk like that.               It’s honestly really good as it  is,              but  you  writers edit so that  you              can  stop thinking of it  as  trash,              right  ?  Hey, what if you bounce              your  ideas  off me,  see if I  can              help out a bit ? ❞

                    IF  SHE’S  BEING  honest  with  herself,  bernie  tends  to  jump  from  one  writing  project  to  another,  never  satisfied  with  what  she’s  written  for  one,  only  to  come  back  when  she’s  dissatisfied  with  another.  that  doesn’t  seem  to  be  the  case  this  time,  though.  the  thoughts  and  ideas  keep  running  through  her  and  she  jots  them  down  in  her  notebook,  line  after  line,  before  typing  them  up  in  what  she  can  only  consider  a  subpar  way.  she  thinks  she  should  just  consider  herself  lucky  that  she  has  enough  inspiration  to  work  on  one  thing  and  one  thing  only  for  once.

                    still,  that  doesn’t  mean  it’s  good  enough  to  show  anyone,  even  if  sylvain  is  convinced  that  it  is.  she  whines  a  little  when  she  feels  the  hand  on  her  shoulder,  knowing  a  pep  talk  that  she  doesn’t  deserve  is  coming.  she  does  admit,  however,  that  he  brings  up  a  couple  of  points,  and  perhaps  if  someone  tells  her  what  they  think,  she  will  be  able  to  properly  figure  out  what  works  and  what  doesn’t.  ❝  i  guess...  the  main  problem  right  now  is  when  the  main  character  talks  about  going  home.  i  don’t  want  her  to  actually  go  home,  because...  ❞  she  trails  off.  she  doesn’t  really  know  why  she  wants  it  that  way,  just  that  the  thought  of  forcing  the  character  to  go  home  to  her  parents  makes  her  uneasy.  ❝  well,  there’s  nothing  for  her  to  do  back  home,  but  what  else  is  she  going  to  do  until  the  war  properly  starts  ??  ❞

[bernievera]

edelle !

although  undoubtedly  familiar  to  her  ,  something  about  how  bernadetta  is  acting  makes  her  frown  involuntarily  for  a  split  second  .  perhaps  since  it  reminds  her  of  their  academy  days  ,  with  how  shaky  she’s  being  .  which  is  a  shame  ,  edel  thinks  as  she  remembers  the  other’s  progress  of  becoming  slightly  more  outgoing  .  of  course  even  then  it  wasn’t  drastic  ,  as  one  would  expect  ,  but  it  was  enough  to  show  change  —  something  that  edelgard  found  pride  in  witnessing  over  the  years  .  bernie’s  personal  growth  was  something  she  never  thought  to  see  ,  yet  here  they  are  in  this  new  world  and  it  seems  as  if  many  things  have  reverted  .  oh  well  ,  she  supposes  that’s  how  things  are  .  maybe  if  bernadetta  remembers  ,  then  maybe  it’ll  come  back  too  .  either  way  ,  el  clears  her  throat  before  she  responds  .  “  well  ,  i  was  hoping  if  you  could  show  me  the  best  flowers  to  use  as  a  reference  ?  i  find  myself  very  busy  ,  however  i  enjoy  painting  …  so  i  was  thinking  ,  perhaps  some  flowers  can  inspire  me  .  ”  though  she  pauses  with  a  slight  chuckle  ,  realizing  how  silly  it  may  sound  .  “  if  it’s  an  odd  request  ,  i‘m  sorry  .  if  it’s  not  too  much  to  say  ,  you  simply  strike  me  as  the  type  to  have  a  keen  eye  for  these  things  .  ”

                    THE  FROWN  CONCERNS  her.  has  she  done  something  wrong  already  ??  she  was  hiding  behind  the  cash  register  earlier,  so  perhaps  she  had  been  spotted  and  the  customer  simply  isn’t  happy  about  having  to  wait  for  her.  she  doesn’t  like  to  disappoint  people  on  the  best  of  days,  but  something  about  disappointing  this  customer  in  particular  concerns  her.  she  (  thinks  she  )  is  used  to  seeing  people  disappointed  in  her,  not  meeting  their  expectations,  but  something  deep  within  tells  her  that  this  is  someone  she  really  doesn’t  want  to  let  down.  she  tries  to  force  the  panic  she  feels  at  that  thought  far  away  as  she  listens  to  the  woman’s  request.  painting  isn’t  what  she  expected,  but  it  is  something  she  can  relate  to,  and  so  she  immediately  turns  around  so  she  can  search  for  something  inspiring.  it  only  takes  a  few  seconds  for  her  to  come  up  with  an  idea,  and  while  she  knows  it  likely  won’t  be  that  great,  it’s  all  she  has  right  now.  ❝  i  usually  find  something  with  lots  of  colour  inspiring,  so  maybe  putting  together  an  arrangement  of  flowers  of  all  different  colours  would  help.  oh  !!  and  different  shapes  and  sizes.  that  usually  works  for  me.  if  i’m  having  trouble  with  one  colour  or  shape,  i  try  another  one  !!  ❞ her  face  warms  when  she  realises  just  how  much  she  has  been  rambling  and  promptly  turns  to  where  most  of  the  flowers  are  on  display.  ❝  i  —  i  wouldn’t  say  i  have  a  keen  eye  or  anything,  i  just...  i  just  paint  sometimes...  ❞

[bernievera]

do you still write?

                    ❝  i  do,  but…  nothing  i  write  is  all  that  good.  even  the  story  i  have  the  most  inspiration  for  right  now,  even  though  it’s  coming  together  really  well  somehow,  it’s  just  —  i  know  i’m  going  to  mess  it  up  by  the  end  !!  ❞

[bernievera]

do you care about fashion/being fashionable?

                    ❝  not…  not  really  ??  i  try  to  at  least  look  presentable  when  i  leave  the  house,  though  i  don’t  think  i  manage  that  very  well,  but  the  only  thing  i’m  really  interested  in  fashion-wise  is  accessories.  i  like…  really  cute  ones.  not  that  they  look  all  that  good  on  me,  but…  ❞

[bernievera]

is there anything you find suspicious or scary about this town?

                    ❝  you  mean…  other  than  the  usual  things  i  find  scary  ??  well,  there’s  been  that  stuff  going  on  about  the  mansion  and  the  stolen  items,  and  that’s  definitely  scary.  it  makes  me  want  to  stay  inside…  more  so  than  usual…  ❞

[bernievera]

( @onlythcrns​ )

                    BERNIE  TAKES  A  deep  breath,  leaning  one  of  her  hands  against  the  door.  the  other  is  resting  on  her  chest,  a  little  charm  clutched  against  her  palm.  every  time  she  thinks  she  hears  a  noise  from  out  in  the  hallway,  she  tenses  up  until  the  sound  stops,  upon  which  she  relaxes.  rinse  and  repeat.  it’ll  be  fine.  when  dodie  comes  to  her  door,  she’ll  finally  poke  her  head  out  and  give  her  the  little  charm  of  gratitude  she’s  been  working  on  the  past  week.  easy,  right  ??

                    except  it  isn’t  easy,  not  when  there  is  the  (  very  likely  )  possibility  that  dodie  will  hate  what  she  has  to  give.  her  hand  trembles  as  she  leans  her  forehead  against  the  door.  the  wood  is  cool,  but  does  little  to  calm  her  down.

[bernievera]

( @bitterparamour​ )

                    BRENNA  TYPES  AT  the  speed  of  light,  fingers  flying  across  the  keyboard  as  she  makes  as  many  edits  as  she  possibly  can  to  the  chapter  she  has  up  on  her  word  document.  once  she  fixes  one  problem,  she  finds  two  more,  and  she  takes  a  brief  break  to  run  a  hand  through  her  tangled  hair.  ❝  you  really  don’t  want  to  read  this,  it’s  terrible,  it’s  trash,  ❞  she  insists,  aggressively  tapping  the  backspace  button.  ❝  i  should  just  scrap  the  whole  thing.  you  know  what  else  was  written  because  the  author  saw  it  in  a  dream  ??  twilight.  and  no  one  likes  twilight.  ❞  she  doesn’t,  at  the  very  least,  but  now  isn’t  the  time  to  get  into  that.

[bernievera]

petra !

&&  — TODAY HAS BEEN NOTHING SHORT OF BORING FOR PETRA , to say the least. while she never minded slow days at work , she felt as if she was wasting time she could be using doing… well , anything else , and it was moments like these that made her glad she at least had her co-workers there to keep her company. glancing over to brenna , petra smiles , genuinely , too , pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “ you know , i think once we’re done closing , we should walk home together !! get some fresh air , ” she moves her gaze towards the plant before her , gently rotating it before glancing back to her friend. “ there’s this really cute neighborhood that’s only about a block from here. all of the christmas decorations are up , and while i don’t like the cold , i think that might be fun to do… if you want to , that is !! ” / @bernievera​

                    DESPITE  WANTING  TO  be  at  home  at  all  times,  bernie  does  genuinely  enjoy  most  of  her  work  at  sacred  grove,  at  least  the  parts  of  her  job  where  she  doesn’t  have  to  interact  with  customers.  still,  there  is  nothing  more  relieving  than  closing  up  the  shop  and  being  allowed  to  go  home  for  the  day.  when  she  hears  petra’s  voice,  she  tenses  up  only  a  little,  having  grown  used  to  her  after  working  together.  plus,  she  hadn’t  been  as  nervous  around  petra  as  other  people  upon  meeting  her,  something  she  decided  long  ago  was  likely  because  petra  is  just  a  calming  person  to  be  around.  walking  with  petra  is  something  she  wants  to  do,  but  she  doesn’t  know  if  she  wants  to  be  near  people.  that  said,  she  also  doesn’t  want  to  disappoint  petra,  and  so  she  says,  ❝  o-okay  !!  i  do  really  like  christmas  decorations...  ❞  and  that  much  is  true,  at  least.  hopefully  it  won’t  be  too  crowded  compared  to  what  it  may  be  like  later  in  the  month.

[bernievera]

edelle !

@bernievera​

the  sacred  grove  .  a  place  she  hardly  finds  time  to  visit  ,  unless  to  see  dahlia  .  though  edelgard  won’t  lie  ,  the  carnations  are  her  favorite  —  something  that’s  always  been  true  ,  this  life  or  past  .  her  heart  aches  as  she  thinks  about  it  ,  oh  how  frivolous  she’s  being  .  a  soft  sigh  escapes  her  lips  as  pale  fingers  ghosting  over  various  petals  .  this  life  is  a  new  beginning  ,  she  reminds  herself  .  a  life  without  the  harshness  of  fódlan  —  a  life  without  those  who  slither  in  the  dark  ever  existing  .  a  freedom  that  seems  too  good  to  stay  .  although  it  has  its  own  downfalls  ,  edelgard  can  count  her  blessings  .  half  expecting  to  find  dollie  when  she  eventually  finds  herself  at  the  counter  ,  she’s  surprised  to  see  different  familiar  face  .  one  ,  however  ,  that  is  hiding  away  the  best  she  can  .  it  brings  a  slight  smile  to  her  face  .  some  things  don’t  change  ,  she  supposes  .  “  excuse  me  ?  ”  edelgard  calls  out  ,  tone  a  juxtaposition  of  sharp  and  soft  all  the  same  ,  trying  to  catch  the  employee’s  attention  .  “  are  you  busy  ?  ”  she  knows  it’s  probably  hard  for  bernie  ,  and  she  wonders  if  the  other  girl  remembers  or  not  .  it’s  arguably  infuriating  that  she  knows  things  she  hadn’t  prior  ,  because  now  she  struggles  to  be  completely  sure  about  those  around  her  .  what  really  happened  to  everyone  ?  where  were  they  all  from  ?  or  were  they  always  from  this  place  ?  it’s  so  many  questions  ,  not  enough  answers  .  “  i  was  hoping  for  some  assistance  …  ”

                    BRENNA  DESPISES  BEING  behind  the  counter.  she  would  much  rather  slip  into  the  back  room  or  the  greenhouse  and  water  the  plants  than  manage  the  cash  register,  but  there  are  times  where  there  really  is  no  one  else  to  handle  the  place  and  she  has  to  suck  it  up  and  do  what  she’s  being  paid  to  do.  that  does  nothing  to  calm  her  fears,  however,  and  the  moment  she  hears  someone  enter  the  shop,  she  makes  herself  smaller  behind  the  register.  it’s  selfish  and  she  will  hate  herself  for  it  later  if  it  works,  but  part  of  her  hopes  that  the  customer  will  assume  no  one  is  here  to  serve  them  and  leave  until  later  when  someone  else  is  behind  the  desk.  that  doesn’t  end  up  being  the  case,  however,  and  she  slowly  steps  to  the  side  so  she  is  properly  in  the  customer’s  view.  she  looks  at  them  and  has  to  resist  the  urge  to  frown  when  she  feels  as  if  she  should  recognise  them  from  somewhere,  but  she  doesn’t.  what  is  this,  the  third  time  now  ??  it’s  becoming  more  and  more  exhausting.  ❝  um  —  no,  i’m  not  busy.  ❞  her  voice  is  loud  enough,  but  her  tone  isn’t  firm,  wavering  slightly  in  the  middle.  she  tries  for  a  smile  that  she  is  sure  must  be  shakier  than  intended.  her  customer  service  skills  are  abysmal.  how  did  she  even  get  hired  ??  ❝  of  course  !!  what  —  what  can  i  help  you  with  ??  ❞

[bernievera]

blythe !

𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵  𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲  𝗵𝗲𝗿  𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀  𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽  𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁,  blythe  sees  flashes.  images  she  will  never  rid  her  mind  of  —   a   sword  of  bone,  the  world  shaking  after  a  dragon’s  roar.  cloth  of  gold  and  red  and  blue,  blood  staining  her  hands.  even  as  a  child,  she  never  had  much  of  an  imagination,  had  never  been  one  to  jump  at  petty  fears.  (  it  had  worried  her  father,  she  knows,  to  see  his  child  so  stoic.  perhaps  he’d  be  grateful  for  her  previous  apathy,  could  he  see  the  mess  she  is  now.  god,  she  wishes  she  could  talk  to  him.  )  so  why  now  does  her  mind  plague  her?  she  wishes  it  would  stop.  in  the  distance,  a  child  shrieks.  blythe  nearly  leaps  from  her  seat.    ❛    that’s  just  wonderful.    ❜     she  mutters,    ❛    i’m  losing  my  mind.    ❜    and  now  she’s  talking  to  herself.  great.

                    THERE  HAS  BEEN  something  plaguing  brenna’s  mind  for  a  while  now.  the  biggest  problem  with  it  all  is  that  she  doesn’t  even  know  what  it  is.  something  in  her  head  is  telling  her  that  there  is  something  she  is  forgetting,  something  big,  and  she  can’t  help  but  wonder  how  many  people  she  will  have  disappointed  in  not  remembering.  she  is  walking  with  her  head  down,  determined  to  return  to  her  apartment  without  any  interruptions  so  she  can  mull  over  this  in  the  safety  of  her  own  room,  when  she  hears  the  voice.  there  is  something  familiar  about  it  (  the  same  way  the  man  in  the  diner’s  voice  had  been  familiar,  in  a  way  she  doesn’t  quite  know  how  to  pinpoint  ),  and  that  is  what  makes  her  stop  and  turn  around.  she  approaches  cautiously,  stopping  several  feet  away  with  her  arms  wrapped  around  her  sketchbook.  ❝  a-are  you  okay  ??  ❞

[bernievera]

📱- sehth

name: seth 📗

ringtone: default ringtone

calls this week: 0

missed calls: 2 ( she panics when people call her )

SENT TEXTS

brenna ( november 27th / 6:14pm ) i know you invited me over for thanksgiving tomorrow but i don’t know if i’ll be able to make it o(╥﹏╥)o

brenna ( november 27th / 6:15pm ) my parents really want me over for it and i can’t say no, so

brenna ( november 28th / 11:35pm ) thank you

brenna ( november 30th / 10:27am ) i’m making some cookies today, do you want me to stop by and give everyone some ?? (✿◠‿◠)

brenna ( november 30th / 10:29am ) but it’s also really okay if you don’t want any !! i promise !!

UNSENT TEXTS

brenna ( november 27th / 6:21pm ) i really don’t want to go with them

brenna ( november 28th / 11:22pm ) thank you for today. i’m really sorry i wasn’t much fun, i don’t think i’ve ever been around that many people before, so i was a little bit intimidated. i hope i didn’t ruin anything

brenna ( november 28th / 11:24pm ) is it really okay to be one of you guys ??

brenna ( november 30th / 10:31am ) is it okay if i stop by anyway ??

brenna ( december 1st / 12:09pm ) does the name ‘gronder field’ mean anything to you ??

LAST SNAPCHAT

i went outside today

[bernievera]

+ field !

                    ❝  i  don’t  really  have  any  memories  of  a  —  wait…  why  do  i…  i  don’t…  gronder.  i  think  i  remember  something  called  gronder  field.  ❞

[bernievera]

+ art

                  ❝  i  don’t  draw  myself  a  lot,  since…  well,  there  isn’t  anything  all  that  art-worthy  about  me,  but  one  time  i  just  started  sketching  with  no  real  direction  in  mind  and…  i  ended  up  drawing  myself.  but  it  wasn’t  really  me,  because  the  me  in  the  picture  looked  strong  and  confident,  and  had  a  bow  and  arrow  and  looked  like  she  was  good  at  it.  it’s  not  really  me,  but  it  resonated  with  me,  so  i  kept  it.  ❞

[bernievera]

# hoobert :)

what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone — henry 😱

what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone — x

what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone — this is halloween / the nightmare before christmas

my muse’s last text to your muse — seth invited me over but i want to be sure it’s okay with you first i don’t want to bother you ┐(‘～`；)┌

[bernievera]

ferdie !

   — HIS EXPRESSION IS THE SAME AS ALWAYS - POLITE & GENTLE , but also unwavering ; but nobody would even suspect so , given the fact that on the inside , when he fully concludes Bernadetta doesn’t remember him , he feels his heart sinking into his stomach. Another face he can recount perfectly & recite every little detail about from the past , yet when they look at him , he’s only a STRANGER. It’s a gut-wrenching feeling & one he’s spent many nights mulling over in silence ; yet he doesn’t let anything on , because Feliciano Vitelli - much like Ferdinand von Aegir - isn’t one to put his own grief in front of serving another. He will smile , and the day will carry on. 

   Sunset hues fall to the diary and then back to her face - and immediately she says to forget. He gently shakes his head. ❝ No , no , no ; it is alright - I have no qualms with taking it to him. How noble of you to return this. ❞

                    SHE  WOULD  BE  lying  to  say  there  isn’t  something  familiar  about  him,  though  she  isn’t  quite  sure  what  it  is.  is  it  the  way  he  conducts  himself  or  his  appearance  in  general  ??  she  doesn’t  know,  but  she  also  doesn’t  want  to  ask  for  fear  of  inconveniencing  him  or  sounding  delusional.  it’s  probably  nothing  ;  he  probably  reminds  her  of  a  character  in  one  of  the  shows  she’s  been  watching  recently,  or  perhaps  he  seems  familiar  because  dodie  may  have  mentioned  him  briefly.  either  way,  she  isn’t  about  to  say  anything.  she’s  embarrassed  herself  enough  for  one  day  (  though  she  doubts  this  will  be  the  last  time  today,  because  when  doesn’t  she  cause  her  own  humiliation  ??  )

                    she  lets  out  a  sigh  of  relief,  the  tension  in  her  shoulders  reduced  by  half,  and  she  shakily  offers  the  diary  to  him.  she  blinks  at  the  compliment.  ❝  n-noble  ??  no,  i’m  not  noble,  you’re  the  noble  one.  ❞  she  pauses.  what  she  said  seems  right,  but  it  came  out  without  her  truly  thinking  about  it.  ❝  i  mean...  you’re  the  one  who  agreed  to  help  me,  so...  ❞

[bernievera]

# for dollie 🥺

what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone — dollie 🌼

what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone — x

what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone — yes or yes / twice

my muse’s last text to your muse — i’m so sorry i probably got the wrong flowers didn’t i ?? or did i arrange them wrong ?? the customer was probably so upset i’m so sorry i’m so sorry i’ll resign tomorrow i swear !! (∩︵∩)

[bernievera]

# - dodie !

what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone — dodie bird

what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone — x

what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone — pearl diver / mitski

my muse’s last text to your muse — thank you for coming to check up on me !! sorry i didn’t come to the door o(╥﹏╥)o