* maybe i'll collect the debt.

And if I meant every word that I ever said, you would probably question the life I have led. You’d probably think I’m an evil, b r o k e n person... and you would be right. I went downhill at such steep incline, that my rearview mirror showed me only the sky. And I l a u g h e d about it all night, and I said, “isn’t it poetic that the sky is what we leave behind?” Because I was born into the world on a silken cloud, and I got BORED of the world before I hit the ground.

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — THEY DIDN’T EVER KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO SAPPY MOMENTS , TRULY , and as the moment lingered , they felt flustered. their cheeks were still burning with blush , and for once they didn’t even really mind it. they did mind the butterflies in their stomach , however , and the sudden speechlessness that took over them , simply offering a smile in response to him.

and , well , sylvain was right. it was a perfect fit , ( kind of like them , but , they were never gonna admit it. ) and almost immediately with this thought , they felt a wave regret overcome them. this could have been them - maybe in a different life that wasn’t much better than this , one where this ring was more than just a promise , but it could have been them… even with that though , there was no time. no time for them , not even enough time for them to stay. they can’t even remember their last words to him - did they tell him they loved him ?? or did they coldly tell him that there was no time. did they cry ?? did sylvain wait for them - did sylvain die without knowing where they were ?? of what came of them ??

and it’s with this that his touch begins to burn. they almost falter - almost , immediately remembering to keep the grin on their face and looking away. hesitantly , they pull away , crossing their arms as soon as they’re no longer touching him before clicking their tongue. “ i … no , i was kind of hoping you had an idea. ” they stop , looking over sylvain for a moment before looking away , simply biting their lip to keep their emotions at bay. “ i mean , we could think about that on the way there. ” 

they walk past him , going to grab the two jackets they’d snagged when getting ready to leave for their previously planned guilt trip. of course , they’re not even their jackets but rather both sylvain’s. they toss one over towards him , leaving their own favorite for their own taking as they pull it over their frame. “ let’s go , yeah ?? ” they go to grab their keys , instinctively walking before him to hold the door open before motioning him out. maybe as they go to the car they’d stop thinking about this , because god knows they didn’t want to ruin tonight anymore than they already had.

          If there’s one thing he prides himself on, it’s his ability to read even the subtlest of changes in Felix’s expressions, their emotions. Which is why, try as they might to hide them, he notices the way that they falter. His arms feel cold, empty when they pull away, and all he wants to do is pull them back and chase out whatever awful thoughts that decided to plague them this time.

          ❝ Well... The park could be a good spot.              We’re  pretty  much  the  only  people               awake at this hour anyway.  ❞

          He’s not sure what it is that’s going through their mind, but he can hazard a guess. He puts the offered jacket on (his preferred one is with Felix, though it might be less because he likes it on himself and more because he likes seeing them in it), but lingers in the doorway, stepping in front of them and cupping their face in his hands.

          ❝ Listen. I know we have a lot we need to deal with tomorrow. I’m dreading it, even. But I ask that you stay with me tonight - don’t get all caught up in your head about what could have been. Stay in the present. With me. Because I’m going to do nothing but make the most of every second I have with you. ❞

          He drops a kiss on their forehead, as if thinking it would lay their thoughts to rest like a spell. It crushes him to think of all the pain they must be feeling, all the guilt that weighs them down. He just wishes that he can take their mind off of it, just for one night. He takes their hand and pulls them outside, locking the door as they go, and squeezes their hand as they make their way to their car, making sure to feel the ring as he does so. 

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — NORMALLY, THEY WOULD HAVE SAID THAT THERE’S NO TIME. no time for them to have a moment like this , no time for any of these words to be said. they would have pulled away - jarringly quickly , at that , and sworn sylvain to another year of this , another year of eyes wandering to the other , hands aching for the other’s , another year of misery. and while they know that there is so much to speak of - to ignore this now is not the smartest decision , they can’t find themself caring. after all they had been through , this ?? this was one thing they deserved , or well , they were going to try to convince themself that for the night. the rest could wait for the morning , but tonight ?? tonight was theirs.

they can’t help but roll their eyes at what he’s saying , the blush turning a deeper red across their cheeks. “ are you saying we should go on a date ?? after all we just spoke about ?? ” there isn’t any hesitation now though , their forehead pressing against his once more before they crack a smile. “ i mean , i’m down , you just ask at the most inappropriate times. ”

and it’s with his next question that they felt as if they can melt. there’s no time , there’s never time , they can hear it in the back of their mind , circling around like sharks in the water. they know there’s no time - but this ?? this is what they want now. and they simply pause , looking down to the ring , before murmuring a quick , “ yes, ” , one they’ve wanted to say for years. 

“ fuck , this is … ” they laugh , reaching up to hide their face with one of their hands. they weren’t good with this stuff; far from it , and found themself at a loss of words in this moment. but maybe that was okay , maybe they didn’t need to say much for sylvain to know.

         There’s a lot that still weighs heavily on his mind - they need to figure out what’s going on with the inconsistent memories, need to patch things up with Ingrid before it’s too late, need to actually sit down and talk to the people affected by this - but they’ve given so much at the cost of what they want. He’s looking fondly down at Felix now, at their red cheeks and that hint of a smile, and thinks that just for tonight, maybe he can be a little bit selfish.

          ❝ I’m just making the most of what time              we have.  Besides, you know I never              do anything appropriately. ❞

          He hears the one word - it’s all he’s wanted to hear, what he wishes he heard the last time he saw them back in Fodlan - and can’t control the bright grin that takes over his face. He sneaks a kiss to the corner of their mouth then pulls away slightly, but still sticking as close to them as possible, unable to get away from their orbit now. 

          He can’t wait anymore. He takes the ring out of their palm, slips it off the chain and slides the ring on their left finger - a sight that he’s dreamt of seeing for so, so long. He has always been theirs, but to see the physical proof of that love... it’s all he’s ever wanted. 

          ❝ Yeah, I know. It looks good, though,              don’t you think ? I’m just glad it fits. ❞

           He raises their hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to where the ring is - now that he’s allowed to touch again, it’s going to be hard to stop. He can’t get the smile off his face.

          ❝ Have any idea where to go ? I don’t              really care, as long as I’m with you. ❞

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — IT’S A SMILE THAT FORMS ON THEIR FACE AT HIS QUESTION , blush immediately spreading across their cheeks as they look down. without answering , they simply nod , arms wrapping around his neck as they reach up on their tip toes , pressing their lips together and closing their eyes. it’s here where the weight of the world is lifted from their shoulders , their own sense of relief spreading throughout their chest from this simple action.

and a part of them wishes they’d done it sooner. said those three words sooner , making up for lost time but they can’t continue to regret. not anymore. hesitantly , they pull away , now going to bury their face in his neck as they murmur one last, “ i love you , ” eyes closing once again as they hold on to him a little tighter. they know they can’t stay like this all night , but if given the chance , they would.

they pull their face away after a few more moments , laughing slightly as they shake their head. “ god , where do we go from here ?? a guilt trip ?? ” they shake their head. “ maybe not even a guilt trip. maybe we should just … go get food or something. act like this … didn’t happen , you know ?? ”

          He’s had enough waiting, enough denying themselves what they want just because they think it isn’t the right time or place - when their lips press against his everything finally feels right. It’s far from perfect and they still have so much to deal with once this moment is over, but after years (lifetimes) of denying themselves this... 

          ❝ I love you, too. ❞

          He can say it as much as he wants to, now, and suddenly all the time that he spent pining and waiting doesn’t seem as bad. Not when they fit together so perfectly like this. He wraps both of his arms around them, pulling them closer.

          ❝ I’m not about to let a guilt trip ruin how              happy  I  am  right now,  honestly.  But,              yeah.  I  could  treat you,  just  like  old              times. Make a date out of it. ❞

          First things first, though. He takes their hand, the one still holding on to the ring. It’s about time he finally, finally asks them this again, before they lose their chance.

          ❝ If...  I  asked  you to wear  this  for  me,              would  you say yes  ?  Think of it as  a              promise.  That you’ll always have  me. ❞

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — TRUTH BE TOLD , THEY DON’T EVEN NEED TO FEEL THE OBJECT IN THEIR HAND AS SOON AS THEY SEE IT. it’s the ring - that fucking ring , the one they refused to put on until there was time. a common theme in their life ; no time and nothing but missed opportunities. they wince as it touches their hand , immediately closing their eyes so they don’t continue to make a fool of themself , 

“ i’m sorry , ” that’s the first thing they manage to croak out , opening their eyes to meet his gaze again. “ i - i am so fucking sorry , ” they should have just shut up. they shouldn’t have taken it this far , they fucking should have just spoken to him but what’s done is done and they cannot take that back. all they can do is hope he’s going to be understanding now.

they take a few steps forward , looking up to him before taking his other hand , interlocking their fingers. “ i thought … i thought we fucking … did that to her, for that. ” there’s a hard swallow that follows their statement, gaze now turning back down to their hand that holds the ring. “ i thought this didn’t matter and that was so stupid , god , i’m sorry. ” 

they lean in, pressing their forehead to his as they shut their eyes again. “ i love you , ” there’s a pause. they haven’t said this to him in years , maybe even a whole lifetime but fuck , they have to say it. “ and i don’t know why i fucking did that and i - i , i just want you happy so i’m not even - ” they’re rambling , quickly cutting themself off as they close their eyes again. “ i am so fucking sorry. ”

          Just like that, all the tension flows out of his body, lets relief flood his system again as they take his hands, touch their forehead to his - it’s not even close to what he wants to do, and all he wants is to hug them and never let go, but this is enough. He keeps his voice low as he speaks, tries to alleviate the new guilt that’s burdening them. They don’t need any more of that.

          ❝ It’s okay.  I don’t blame you for thinking...              you don’t have to apologize.  Just as long              as you know how much you matter to me. ❞

          Hearing those three words, the same words that he’s wanted to tell them for so, so long but has always stopped himself for fear of them not being ready... now it really does feel like he’s home again, his senses flooded with Felix. The world is righting itself again, and he’s never been more thankful that he might never have to live another day without them by his side. The words come to him easily, relieved that he can finally let it out.

          ❝ I love you, too. More than anything. For              the rest of my life. ❞

          He lets go of their hands, letting one arm pull them closer by their waist, his other hand drifting to their cheek. A thumb swipes across their bottom lip, his touch light.

         ❝ Can I... ? ❞

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — IT’S WHEN THEY’RE FINALLY STARING AT HIM , THE DISTANCE NOW SUFFOCATING THEM that the weight of the situation collapses on their shoulders. they’re staring at their best friend in the face , wanting nothing more than to close the gap , to ignore what was said , hoping to the goddess that there is some sort of explanation for this. that this is a big mistake , that they’re wrong yet nothing is pointing them in that direction no matter how hard they look for that excuse , but rather more and more red flags come up.

“ god , if you can’t fucking tell the truth then just lie to me , ” their voice cracks as soon as their words hit the air , almost pleading as they look to him , finally beginning to close the gap between them as they take a step forward. “ look me dead in the fucking eyes and tell me what ingrid said isn’t true. tell me that this was all fine and that you were fucking mine and it was and always has been just us and that i didn’t fucking put my life down for someone who never gave a shit about an us , even if it’s just for tonight. just fucking tonight. give me just tonight. be my fucking home for one more night , be my promise for just a little longer before this goes to hell. ”

and they can’t take it back , the begging laced in their words , the mournful expression on their face , their hands that finally dare to reach out before pulling back again. instead , silence looms over them as they look to him , hands reaching up once again to wipe the tears off of their face.

          He automatically flinches just at the thought of lying to them - it’s so against his system to keep anything from them, to break their trust like that, but it’s too late for that now, is it ? - but then he hears just what they want from him, and he gets an idea that goes to show that maybe, maybe he won’t be losing the most important person to him tonight.

          They take their left hand with one of his, still wet with tears (it’s becoming a terrible habit of his, making them cry, being the cause of their tears instead of being their comfort. He hopes, prays to the goddess that this will be the last time). With his other hand he reaches up to unclasp the chain around his neck, taking the necklace off, pulling the ring it had dangling from it from under his shirt. He’s pretty sure this is the first time the ring will part from his skin since the day he woke up in this town, but parting with it isn’t too bad - all he’s doing it is giving it to its rightful owner.

          He places the ring on their open palm, chain and all, closing their fingers around it. This has to be enough - the fact that he still has it, the fact that he’s kept it with him all this time, waiting for the right moment to give it back to them - surely all of this will be enough.

           ❝ Everything you just said - none of it is               a  lie to me.  It’s always been us,  I’ve               always  been yours.   And if saying  it               isn’t enough for you to believe it, then               I’m showing it to you instead.  ❞

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — “ RIGHT NOW?? YES , IT IS SO BAD. ” their voice cracks , scoffing as he comes closer. it’s the one thing they don’t want right now ; he’s the one thing that can make them crack , that can make him bite back all of his words , and despite them only wanting to reach forward to touch him …

“ don’t. ” it’s all they say as they pull their hands away from him and take a step back , their arms as they avoid his gaze once more. there’s a bitter laugh that comes out as he explains , eyebrows furrowing as they look back to him. “ you … really ?? sylvain , why the fuck are you here ?? what the fuck are we doing ?? ”

it’s a genuine question , too , not one they thought they would ever ask him. “ i’m not naive. i don’t know if i’ve ever given you the impression that i am , but i’m not. so for you to go on some fucking … ramble about how there’s multiple timelines and how clearly that’s the explanation rather than just admitting you fucked up like i’m one of your flings… ”

this is their edge , they can feel it as they wipe another tear away , unable to look him in the eye. “ how fucking hard would it be to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth ?? i don’t even give a shit about that part , sylv , i just … i thought it was us. and i didn’t think us murdering our friend could be any worse but to fucking imagine that we … did that . only for this… she’s our fucking ingrid. she might not remember it all , but how can you even . .”

they can’t find the words to begin to describe how they feel , instead opting to look up to the ceiling once again. “ you should just go home. ”

          He can’t even remember the last time they pulled away from his touch so aggressively, but it doesn’t hurt any less. He lets them step away, doesn’t chase them for fear of just losing them altogether - just lets his arms drop back to his sides, resigned. There’s frustrated tears stinging his eyes as well, but he blinks them away, looking right at their eyes as he speaks.

           ❝ I don’t know what else to tell you, Felix.                I  don’t  keep secrets from you, and  I’m               not lying to you right now.  I know I look               like  I’m  grasping for straws  right  now,               but... ❞

          But what ? What else can he say ? At this point even he doesn’t know if what he remembers is true - he could very well have made that promise to Ingrid, given her some false hope before he and Felix went and betrayed her and their country, before they killed her for their ideals. Is he really so much of a terrible person that he would actually trick the both of them like that ? Did he really not have any boundaries ?

          The worst part is, if it ends up being true, he wouldn’t even be surprised. He always has to ruin everything good in his life, after all.

          ❝ I’m  not  going  anywhere.  My  home  is              wherever you are - I know it just sounds              like a line,  but it’s true.  But god,  I don’t              know  what  else  you  want  me  to say,              Felix. I’m not losing you over this. ❞

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — “ WHY CAN’T YOU ?? why does it always end up being this ?? i don’t need you chasing me every time something happens. ” but their words deceive them. they do need him there , more than anything , he’s their rock … why are they pushing him out ?? 

they listen to him talk , only for a moment before finally rolling their eyes , clenching their jaw as they look away , staying quiet for a moment to find their voice. “ i thought you were mine. ” a stray tear falls down their cheek but they’re quick to wipe it away , darting their eyes to the ceiling. they can’t cry , not yet , not now. “ i thought you were mine. i thought it was going to be us like it always is , i thought we were going to be happy and that we could have a break and i didn’t fucking think that you and ingrid had fucking … ” 

they trail off , gaze finally meeting his again. “ we fucking killed her and you told her that you two were going to get married. she died right before our eyes and you fucking … you went with me. why ?? she didn’t deserve that. you could have just told me , and now you’re here telling me it’s fine and fucking acting like it’s fine when that happened ?? ”

they’re at a loss for words. all they know is they’re upset - hurt , betrayed , furious , yet they’re still searching for comfort in him. 

          ❝ Is it so bad to want to know if you’re              okay ? It’s for my sake as much as it              is for yours. ❞

          The next thing they say breaks his heart clean in half. It’s always been the two of them, like they were bound together, and he never thought he’d see the day when they would question how true that is. This time, he doesn’t stop himself from approaching them until they’re face to face, and all he wants to do is touch - wrap his arms around them, let them cling onto him like they always have. He already has his arm out to wipe away their tears, touch their cheek, anything, but he doesn’t want to do anything that will make them uncomfortable, especially not when they’re so furious at him. He lets the arm drop.

          ❝ I am - I promise you that I am.  I will              be  for the rest of our lives.  I  swear              I  don’t  know anything  about  what              Ingrid said, I wouldn’t do that to you,              to both of you.  I’d never lie to  you              like that. ❞

          Finally he can’t help himself and takes both of their hands in his, because if he doesn’t he’s scared that they might just disappear before him, tired of what they’re listening to. The theory that’s he’s half-heartedly been entertaining bubbles up in his mind, and he’s speaking before he can think twice - desperate to let them know that he is theirs. Always will be.

          ❝ Listen, I think - I think that the Ingrid we know here isn’t our Ingrid. I mean, I don’t think she’s from the same... I don’t know, world, timeline, something. A lot of what she’s been saying - Dimitri becoming king, finding Rhea - it doesn’t match up with what we’ve been through. I think that must be why she kept telling me about that agreement, and why I don’t remember it. There’s just... nothing else that makes sense. ❞

[bitterparamour]

mcrtalsavant‌:

&&  — COLD WATER IS WHAT HITS THEIR FACE AS THEY STAND KNEELED OVER THE SINK, trying to calm themself down more than anything else. everything has been going in slow motion since they read that text, their body going numb, head spinning as they thought everything out over , and over , and over again , until finally, the only thing they felt was an ache in their chest , eyes now simply staring at the flame of the lit candle before them.

it’s only when they hear his voice that they finally zone back in, hands balling into fists. why did he have to come , why was he here ?? a part of them doesn’t want him here, but the other part of them is fighting , begging to find their home in his arms again , to pretend this never happened. to run away , at that , just the two of them. just them.

they can’t do that though. not this time

“ no , i , no. go. ” they’re steady - emotionless at this point , their voice cold and harsher than it’s ever been to him.  it’s only when they see him standing there that they begin to feel themselves cracking , closing themselves off with the simple fold of their arms in order to keep it together. it’s the same face they’d always looked to for comfort that’s bringing them nothing but anguish in this moment , their heart sinking into their stomach. “ i told you we can talk later. why are you fucking here ?? ” 

          He can see the way they close themselves off, can practically see the way they’re slamming their walls back up, and it hurts, because he’s never had to face those walls in so long. He thought he had long since gotten rid of them. 

          ❝ Sorry, but I can’t do that. You think I’d              just  leave  you  alone  when  I  know              something’s off ? ❞

          It’s always going to be that way, the back of his mind thinks. He’ll always follow Felix anywhere - to the end of the world, if they told him to. He gravitates towards them now, taking a few steps forward, but not enough to reach them. From their reaction alone he can gather that he did something wrong - what else is new, right - but he can’t for the life of him figure out what it is.

          (Maybe that’s a lie. Maybe he does already know, but he just wishes that he remembers actually doing it, wishes he doesn’t have to question his own memories and what Ingrid told him so many weeks ago.)

          ❝ We don’t even have to talk -  I mean, I              would like it if we could. I wanna know              what’s going on. But if not, then just...              let me be here for you, at least. ❞

[bitterparamour]

💋 ╰ ♡ ✧ ˖  @mcrtalsavant​.

          It’s like he moves on autopilot, already out the door and into his car before he can think twice. There’s a sinking, heavy feeling in his stomach as he makes his way to Felix’s apartment, his worry and racing thoughts taking over his mind. He doesn’t know what exactly happened between Ingrid and Felix - just that he refuses to let Felix isolate themself again, will never let them think that they’re alone. After all, it’s always been just them.

          He uses the key that they gave him to open the door - usually he can just walk in whenever he wants, but tonight it feels wrong, like he accidentally invaded on their privacy. He doesn’t stray any further than the doorway, deciding to call out for them instead.

          ❝ Felix ? Are you here ? I know you said              you were gonna talk to me later, but... ❞

[bitterparamour]

texts | sylv :/

felix: [...]

felix: yeah.

felix: i'll be there in a sec i'm just doing a thing.

felix: [...]

felix: [...]

felix: what agreement did you and ingrid make?

felix : [...]

felix: just out of curiosity.

sylvain: ill be waiting. dont forget my jacket this time :)

sylvain: and honestly, i

sylvain: i dont rly know either? she's brought it up w/ me before but it just

sylvain: it didnt make sense

sylvain: actually maybe itd be easier to explain once u get here

[bitterparamour]

texts | sylv :/

felix: so, guilt trip early tonight?

felix: or fuck it, maybe we should just go. just pack our bags and go.

felix: that's how people start new years, right?

sylvain: u know i'd go with u wherever u wanted but

sylvain: [...]

sylvain: yeah, we can have an early guilt trip. come pick me up?

sylvain: n then u can tell me whats going on?

[bitterparamour]

text / dimitri, finn, sylvain, annie

isolde: hello!

isolde: thought i would make a group chat for everyone i unfortunately didn't see at midnight ... and annie, even though i know she's here somewhere.

isolde: a very happy new year, everyone!

finn: ah, thanks.

finn: you know, if you guys are up for it, we could do something today

finn: [...]

finn: actually, nevermind.

annie: oh dw isolde i just wanted to give you and owen some time alone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

annie: but happy new year !!

annie: no not nevermind !! don't tease us like that !!

annie: you're evil felix :(((

dimitri: be nice, annette. they're not evil.

dimitri: i like the idea of spending time together.

sylvain: happy new year!

sylvain: i knew u guys would miss my face eventually 😳

sylvain: anyway, what's this abt a get together?

[bitterparamour]

etlivnheart‌:

   ⁠— THE COMMENT IS TYPICAL OF SYLVAIN , HE SHOULD’VE EXPECTED IT. And yet there Dimitri is , letting out a sigh as he continues his thoughts , trying desperately ( more so hoping ) to keep his cheeks from heating because yes Sylvain makes comments like such all the time but yes they still hold the same effect over Dimitri as anyone else. Maybe , of course , even more so.

   ⁠❝ While I do appreciate your attempts to flatter me , I’m not sure how much good it would do you , ❞ he replies in attempts to sound cheeky , but he keeps his usual , polite tone. That adds to it.

                         ❛ The words you give me are not reserved in my name ,                          I am aware , and yet I find myself entrapped by the soft                          threaded blanket they have woven for me. But I believe                          what truly draws me to you , yet saddens me to my core … ❜

   Dimitri leans forward and takes another breath , tilting his head. ❝ What’s on the agenda for you today ?? Anything new ?? ❞ His cheeks are scarlet - his efforts to hide are futile.

                        ❛ You are unaware of the beauty that you carry on                          your own. Fires of winter , hues that set my heart                          ablaze. ‘Tis of course in the eye of the beholder ,                           but what must a beholder do if their words & sights                         are simple fact ? ❜                         

          His grin only grows wider as he watches the redness creep into Dimitri’s cheeks. Whether he thinks Sylvain is being serious or not (sometimes he is, wants to make his genuine affection known; but sometimes he very much doesn’t, afraid of messing it up, as he frequently does), Sylvain still got the reaction he was looking for. He can’t help pointing it out, keeping his tone light.

          ❝ Hey,  it did me a whole lot  of  good,              thank  you   !!   Wouldn’t  trade  that              cute blush for anything else. ❞

          ❝ But no,  there’s nothing really going              on.  Besides  work and  pissing  my               parents off. Hanging out with you is              pretty much the highlight of my day. ❞

          He only hesitates for a split second before deciding to talk about the notes he’s been getting - it’s far tamer than the stories he used to tell about his girlfriend of the week, and definitely cuter. 

          ❝ Oh,  and  I’ve  been  getting  these              love letters lately. You’d like them,              I  think  -  these  kind  of   romantic              gestures   are  exactly  your   type.              Whoever’s  writing them could put              my  pick-up lines to shame  -  and              that’s a big compliment. ❞

[pandreos]

tea time with sylvain

[bitterparamour]

bernievera‌:

( @bitterparamour​ )

                    BRENNA  TYPES  AT  the  speed  of  light,  fingers  flying  across  the  keyboard  as  she  makes  as  many  edits  as  she  possibly  can  to  the  chapter  she  has  up  on  her  word  document.  once  she  fixes  one  problem,  she  finds  two  more,  and  she  takes  a  brief  break  to  run  a  hand  through  her  tangled  hair.  ❝  you  really  don’t  want  to  read  this,  it’s  terrible,  it’s  trash,  ❞  she  insists,  aggressively  tapping  the  backspace  button.  ❝  i  should  just  scrap  the  whole  thing.  you  know  what  else  was  written  because  the  author  saw  it  in  a  dream  ??  twilight.  and  no  one  likes  twilight.  ❞  she  doesn’t,  at  the  very  least,  but  now  isn’t  the  time  to  get  into  that.

          Brenna’s skill never fails to impress him, no matter how much she tries to speak ill of herself. It’s especially true now, watching as she weaves the horrors of the war into something beautiful. Something people can read and be inspired by, instead of something that Sylvain has nightmares about every night.

          He’ll probably never tell her that every dream she’s had are actually memories - he’d rather let her remember herself. So he doesn’t say anything, instead putting a gentle hand on her shoulder before she talks herself out of never writing again.

          ❝ Hey, come on, don’t talk like that.               It’s honestly really good as it  is,              but  you  writers edit so that  you              can  stop thinking of it  as  trash,              right  ?  Hey, what if you bounce              your  ideas  off me,  see if I  can              help out a bit ? ❞

[bitterparamour]

who was your first crush? was it ingrid’s grandma?

          ❝ We’re already in a whole other world and you people still won’t let that go, huh ? But no, it isn’t her - I just know how to appreciate beauty when I see it. Anyway, I guess two people come to mind… though it’s grown into a lot more than just a couple childhood crushes. Ah, well. It’s not like they’d ever want me back. ❞ // @etlivnheart, @swcrdsdvnce, & @lionknightess.

[bitterparamour]

if given the choice, would you redo anything that happened in the past?

          ❝ No, I don’t think I would. I mean, I’d try to avoid some of the casualties, but come on - it was war. And if it meant seeing Lady Edelgard’s vision come to life… where no one will ever suffer from the Crest system again… I’m going to do what I have to do.

             … There is one thing I would redo, though. Namely, trying to stop a certain idiot from walking towards their death… or at least going with them so I can protect them. I’d give anything to have that chance.  ❞ // @swcrdsdvnce.