金

Sakata Kintoki Berserker House 165 Golden Subgiant

[berserkerofgold]

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but...!

Like this here for a small event-related thread...! I’m down for pre-established relationships, so just feel free to message me if you have something in mind when liking this!

Cap’s at 3, for now! Kintoki’s AU info can be found here!

[berserkerofgold]

-- Subversion AU Notes --

Your local vigilante seigi no mikata, always on the streets on his motorcycle

Helps out people in trouble just because he likes to do it-- helps old ladies cross the street, beats up muggers, tries to help delinquent children

Has a part-time job at the local zoo, naturally gets along well with animals

Practices martial arts and works out daily when he’s not on the hunt

If he sees you in trouble, he’ll throw himself in regardless of the situation

33 years old college dropout and unsure of his future, prefers to think of the ‘now’

Lives with his mom

A kid at heart but has trouble keeping up to date with what’s ‘cool’

Basically he’s almost exactly the same as Sakata Kintoki normally would be. Wow.

[isolaradiale]

Keep reading

[berserkerofgold]

daitoku·:

“Just what is that dissatisfaction on your face, Kintoki!” Raikou pouted, as she listened to her son’s complaints. “Of course mother ordered you the children’s meal! I’ve been informed that it contains all of the nutrients that are needed in a growing boy’s diet!”

The advertisements that she had seen on TV had had the company’s mascot assure as much; with the ‘Big Burger Badger’ swearing by the restaurant’s commitment to ensuring healthy eating habits. And while she was not normally one to put blind faith in the words of a talking animal, the proof seemed quite evident upon perusing their menu. Besides the all-natural farm raised beef patty, the burger also contained a generous portion of vegetables such as lettuce, tomatoes and onions. Why, it even came with a sliced apple on the side.

“What’s more… I cannot recall you ever being one to complain about toys. Did we not visit that gachapon store together just the other day? Shall I remind you of how you begged me for a little extra spending money?” 

Sighing gently, she clicked her tongue dismissively.

“As for my meal… Well… I’ll have you know that this is no ordinary burger! Mother has ordered the ‘Honey Badger Emperor Deluxe’, a burger so massive that few mortal men and women are even capable of challenging it! As was decreed by ‘Big Burger Badger’ himself: anyone who shall prove themselves worthy of consuming the entire thing will be immortalized forever with their photograph hung on these hallowed walls for all eternity! And, more importantly, they’ll win a very cute Golden Badger plush…”  

     He felt like he should tell her that, as a dead person, he can’t actually grow anymore-- and besides that he was an adult man-- but he already knew she wouldn’t listen to him.

But the toy part...! The toy part was a big deal!

“Hey, toys are another matter, ya know?! A man ought to buy toys of his own volition, not be given them ‘cause he’s bein’ treated like a child...!” Kintoki pauses to take a bite into his kid’s meal, eating 3/4ths of the burger in the process. “... Me beggin’ ya for some spare change is completely different, too--”

“... But, anyways, I get it now. Boss... setting aside the whole kid’s meal, you ordered that Honey Badger Golden Emperor Deluxe with me in mind...” the man nods, a smirk returning to his face. “Boss...! Yer really considerate, ya know that?!”

     ... But, Kintoki looks over at the burger with a slight grimace.

“If it were up t’me, I’d eat that in a heartbeat, but... I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat something that big before. You, uh, sure you can take it, Boss?”

[bonebrew]

daitoku‌:

“Kintoki?! What on earth are you saying?! Of course it’s me!” Raikou yelled, wincing slightly at the sudden shrillness of her vocal range. Even after a few days, it had been impossible to grow accustomed to anything to do with her current form. 

Or, perhaps more accurately… She had not allowed herself to grow accustomed. She could not stomach — for so much as a moment — the thought of growing accustomed to the body of her hated mortal foe. For indeed, to do so would be to let herself acknowledge that her current predicament might not be so easily solved…

“Come now, there should be no difficulty in this matter! None at all!” As she insistently tugged upon Kintoki’s arm, the diminutive oni glared daggers at the woman who had grabbed onto the other side of his muscular frame. 

She had not been the only one who had thought to seek out the golden demi-god; though perhaps that was to be expected. After all, Shuten-Douji had surely not enacted her dastardly plan on a mere moment’s whim. It only stood to reason that the current struggle she found herself in, was something that the Assassin had planned from the very beginning.

“Do not be deceived by that wretched vermin! You absolutely must help mother get her body back!”

@daitoku –> @bonebrew –> @berserkerofgold

     “Hey, will you just shut up for ooooone second…?” Shuten smiles with grinding teeth, eyes aflame with the intent to kill as she watches her body be paraded like a puppet and thrown onto the boy’s arm. That being said, his other hand was being nearly twisted off in her vice-like grip, pushing him into flesh she was unused to having so much of.

     Her focus was poured into glaring at the body-snatching villain (in her mind) opposite her, as if doing so would rip her from her skin and place it back where it belonged.

    “Don’t get your desperate stink all over my body, I can already smell the cow dung…” She wrinkles her nose before taking in a sigh. Her body slacks somewhat as she glances over at Kintoki, though her tightened grip shows no ill will has left her just yet.

     “I do feel a bit bad. So she learned the only way you’ll ever look is if it was my beautiful assets in front of you. Jealousy is so ugly, huh…? Hey, boy, your face is going pale… That’s right, I want to vomit just as much, so knock some sense into that vile creature, oka~y? I’ll show you something special only I can do with that body, so….” Fix it.

@bonebrew -> @berserkerofgold -> @daitoku

[berserkerofgold]

     Hey. My name is Sakata Kintoki. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation.

And to be perfectly honest... I’m also wondering, myself! What the hell is going on?!

To say that the absolutely huge man was distraught would be putting it lightly. Rather, his mind felt like it was in pieces at this very moment. It had been only a few days since he’d last seen the two of them, and now... this.

One arm was being tugged upon by a tiny oni claiming to be his mother, and his other was being firmly grasped to lead his hand straight into-- no, no, no no, no. No. Nope. Not. Saying it!

Mouth open, Kintoki said nothing-- instead, he was wordlessly screaming.

It felt like foam was bubbling in his mouth, but that was probably just drool from having his mouth open for such a long amount of time due to the shock of this situation.

“Uh... guuuh... yuh... whuuuuuhhh...”

     Ah, finally, words! And soon enough, the man finally had decided to act as well. With his great brute strength, Sakata Kintoki would forcefully move his own arms with all the strength he could muster, all so that he could bring his hands to his head and...

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

     Uh. Scream. ... Okay, this was a little too much for him.

[berserkerofgold]

oninosenshi·:

The sudden voice of the Golden Berserker startled the deep-in-focus Tomoe, making her let a small shriek and jump a bit from her stand. J-just how long had he been there watching her!?

“Kintoki-san!? How long have you been watching me…?”She tried hiding her face through the arcade screen, however, she started to calm down a bit.”Ah… Well, I’ve started playing ever since I got summoned on Chaldea, so it’s kind of natural for me to be this… experienced with it.”

“Yeah, it’s me! The golden Kintoki! ... But, uh, not too long? Maybe since... ya started that round you were just on,” Kintoki laughs slightly sheepishly, feeling somewhat bad for not having said anything earlier. But with how focused she had been, he felt like he couldn’t interrupt her-- until he did so without thinking, anyways.

“So this is the kinda stuff yer into, huh...? Huh...”

     Crossing his arms, Kintoki nods with a smirk.

“Y’know, I wouldn’t have expected it, heh. Not that I know much about yer hobbies, anyways. If you ask me, it’s pretty golden! With fingers as big as mine, I definitely couldn’t do this kinda thing... yer really somethin’!”

     Pausing, Kintoki scratches his head.

“... Also, sorry for interruptin’. I didn’t make you lose or somethin’, did I?”

[berserkerofgold]

aquastress·:

“Wall of…mist?”

“…I don’t follow your line of thought. How do sumo wrestling bears fall in line with chopping down trees and making fires? Is it some sort of tradition where you come from?”

     Spinning around, Kintoki beams excitedly at Azura.

“Eeeeh?! You kiddin’ me? It’s super important! ... To me anyways, heh heh.”

“Roughin’ it in the woods and mountains like that is just fun! It’s what I grew up doin’! And they’re all golden to do on a chilly Winter day, too. You would know if you tried it, y’know? Eatin’ by a cozy fire, climbing up a cliffside in the early morning, challenging the toughest bear in the woods to a fight...”

     He pauses, staring at Azura with mild consideration.

“... Uhh, well, I wouldn’t recommend you do that last one, hahaha.”

[berserkerofgold]

     Kintoki and Raikou had already found eachother again in this place, and ever since then, the two had naturally been spending time with one another. Not every single moment, as his mother would have probably preferred, but...

This was one of those days.

“Uhhh... Boss...”

     Kintoki’s voice, uncharacteristically sheepish, comes out slowly. It had been a long day of patrolling around the city-- a task done for no real reason other than to protect the peace in a manner reminiscent of their heydays, back when they walked about the capital-- and while they didn’t have to eat... naturally, Kintoki wanted to eat!

It had become something of a ritual to have dinner with Raikou, anyways. ... And breakfast. And lunch. And brunch. And linner. This time was a little different, though.

The two of them this time around had gone to a burger joint-- aptly named, ‘Big Burger’.

It was Kintoki’s choice, of course. And it had also been Kintoki’s choice to ask Raikou to go order the two of them something. But, when she came back... he didn’t expect...

This.

“What the hell did ya order...?! Oi oi, this is huge! ... And the smaller one... hey, it came with a toy! ... A toy?” He pauses. “... Did you get me a kid’s meal?! ... But why’s the kid meal normal-sized?! So is the regular burger just golden-sized?!”

@daitoku

[berserkerofgold]

“Y’know, it still bugs me... that wall of mist.”

“It’s gettin’ cold out! So it’s the perfect time to go chop down a tree to get some nice firewood for a fighter-- ain’t it?! And there ain’t even mountains to climb to work up a good sweat! No wandering bears to sumo wrestle, either...”

     At least two of these three things could be still be done-- albeit in less ridiculous ways.

[berserkerofgold]

bonebrew·:

    It was bittersweet, at best. A place where no animosity was held between humans and monsters. It seemed like a dream, like at any moment she could shatter the warm harmony with a single breath and awaken back atop Mt. Ooe. The atmosphere here was different, much different than what she had been used to, but she couldn’t say she disliked it. It was sweet.

    Rather, she might have wished for something like this, long, long ago…

    …But that would be impossible, wouldn’t it? Something like this could not exist at the same time as Shuten-doji.

    Bitter. Quite bitter.

    “Fufu…” Ironic, wasn’t it, that it was here she’d meet the hero who’d help her succumb to a demon’s demise. The very picture of human v.s monster as she stepped within proximity of him, smiling in that mysterious, snake-like way as she always did.

    “Long time no see, huh?”

    “…’Sup?”

     Reacting in a usual over-the-top way in response to seeing Shuten appear before him, Kintoki practically does a somersault into the bush behind the bench he had been previously sitting in, dropping into the leaves with a thud and a burst of green flying everywhere.

Like a meteor striking the earth, with chunks of rock flying from the impact crater.

It only takes a few moments until Kintoki’s head pops back up, everything beneath his nose hidden by the seat before him as he stares at Shuten, hair slightly disheveled and glasses somewhat tilted.

“Oi, oi, all ya gotta say is ‘sup’?!” And with two giant hands grappling the bench, Kintoki stands up with a pout on his lips. “... But, yeah. It has been. Heh...”

“Y’look like yer the same as ever... heh heh. Well, it ain’t like ya t’change all of a sudden, though.” Despite his previous reaction, a smirk softly creeps onto his face. “... Bet’cha wouldn’t’ve expected to be brought to a place like this though, huh?”

     He’s talking about the ward they were in, naturally.

[babylonianlily-deactivated20190]

gold meeting gold | berserkerofgold

〖 Excuse meee! 〗

Gil would never normally admit it, were he still full of his usual pride and ego, but he was lost.  He wandered so far away from his shared residence, the layout of the city disoriented him and he lost track of the streets he had trekked.  A few moments after realizing that, he opted to simply sit down on a curb to rest his feet.

Thankfully, he spotted a rather large figure nearby, and from his appearance alone Gil could glean that he was no stranger to the city.  Returning to his feet, he had taken a moment to bounce and wave to catch his attention, before running over to him.

〖 Excuse me, Mr. Golden-guy?  Do you know where House 155 is? 〗

@berserkerofgold

[berserkerofgold]

     Stopping mid-step, the beefy Servant had been minding his business, strolling through town with a cigarette in his mouth, casually taking in the sights until he heard a voice call out to him. It was enough to make him pause and immediately drop his cigarette-- crushing it under his heel as though he was hiding any trace of ever having smoked one.

A kid was asking for his help, after all...! And what kind of role model would he be if he smoked in front of the kids? ... Even if this kid was pretty obviously another Heroic Spirit!

“Yo!” Kintoki responds, turning to face the shorter blonde. “Lost, huh?”

“Yeah! I know where it is... or well, not really. But I think I live pretty close to there, so I can show ya the way, no sweat!”

     Even if he wasn’t one hundred percent sure, he was still eager to help, as always!

[oninosenshi-blog-deactivated202]

The thought of being dragged to a place out of nowhere and without much information made the Archer feel somewhat anxious, it was not strange that a being like her, a phantasmal entity would be summoned if a Grail War out of the sudden, especially if she felt her task was accomplished.Tomoe, whenever she felt overwhelmed by emotions did one thing, and that was to make a prayer on the nearest temple. Or… lately, she has gotten a liking to arcade stands. And there she was, mashing buttons at a incredible speed, playing a certain fighting game.

 “…Huh.” With a slow motion of hers, she tilts her head, trying to find an explanation as of to why a certain command grab worked when she was in the middle of a super move. “No, that doesn’t make any sense!”

@berserkerofgold

[berserkerofgold]

     Video games. Man, they were so... cool! Bright, noisy, shooty, punchy... there weren’t something Kintoki dabbled in much, but whenever he passed by an arcade, he always found himself in awe. This really put the type of games he played as a kid into the trash!

That said, these claw games were hard! Every time he tried, he could never win!

“Geh... stupid... if only my hands were smaller, I could slip my... hm?” Hearing a nearby commotion, the Berserker-class Servant spun his head around. There, nearby, he saw Tomoe. Drifting over, hand on his chin, Kintoki idly watched the Archer in slight awe.

“Man... yeah, it doesn’t make sense to me either. ‘Cause I can’t believe how fast you were just then...! Yer fingers were like lightning! That’s so... golden!”

[berserkerofgold]

     Halloween was coming up. Normally that’s when all the monsters were supposed to come out-- but here, it seemed like they were always out and about... at least, in the Cotes ward they were. The youkai of the area were, unlike what Kintoki was used to however, quite... friendly.

It was still a bit jarring, really. But, he didn’t find it to be a bad thing. Rather, it was nice.

Seeing humans and monsters getting along like this... it certainly wasn’t something he could have pictured, back in his heyday. Sure there were some-- usually those in disguise as human to begin with-- and even then, it was quite rare. So seeing youkai in their natural forms, coexisting as best as they could alongside the human population...

It was definitely surreal, he thought.

Just as surreal as it was to suddenly see Shuten-douji pop up in front of him.

“Whoa-- SHUTEN?! Yer here, too...!”

@bonebrew

[berserkerofgold]

despairnecessities·:

And that would be the cue for Monokuma to appear right in front of Kintoki’s eyes. 

“You need a bear?! I’m your bear! So long as you can match my fee!”

“WHOA! A talkin’ bear! Wow! Hey, that’s perfect! Y--”

     Kintoki cuts himself off, expression shifting from child-like wonder to as he squints beneath his sunglasses, rubbing a hand on his chin as he squats down.

“... Ya don’t look like yer big enough to ride on, though. I feel like I’d just crush ya, actually. What kinda bear are ya, anyways? Some kinda... panda?”

[berserkerofgold]

“I wonder if the local zoo would let me borrow one’a their bears for a day... ‘cause I can’t leave the city, there ain’t any use goin’ out to find one.”

“... Is there even a zoo here, though...?”

[berserkerofgold]

tarasqued·:

     Martha puts her hands on her hips, eyes squinting in response to that thin-lipped smirk he sported.

     “That may be true for us, but what about all those kids who you like hanging around? At least wait until they’ve gone to bed!”

“Guh...” With another grunt, as if she had invisibly socked him in the gut, Kintoki pouts, sheepishly looking aside. “Uhh, well, there ain’t any kids here right now...”

“And, even if they do smoke, I’d just tell them to not do it! ...”

     He was still pouting, staring first to the cigarette in his hands, and then his surroundings.

“... There ain’t any kids around right now, are there...?”

[rpmemedumpster]

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