Aku / Star

vents of a dissociated doll

[bestpupaku]

all my new friendships were for nothing.

if you're going to do it just do it. stop wasting everyones time.

final goodbyes mean nothing when you arent cared about.

[bestpupaku]

"ah yes let me abandon and neglect my partner with a disorder that formed because of abandonment and neglect!"

- her probably

[bestpupaku]

nobody would miss you except me. while you told me i was alone and only had you, the opposite was true. i had people. you had nobody but me.

the connection is dead. it is nobody's fault but your own. your victim and savior complex are fighting in real time and its a pathetic display of who you truly are.

[bestpupaku]

"i thought you loved her?" vs me splitting and seeing her for the abuser that she is.

i think people forget that sometimes a split is necessary for safety. my eyes were opened. i see her for who she really is now. i see how i defended her and made excuses for her traumatizing me.

its unfair to say that im crazy for not liking my abuser.

[bestpupaku]

only you could make me feel this way. you traitor. you were my everything and now you torture me like my mother would. you are awful. any relations you start past me will never be what we had. when you realize you've fucked up, i hope it eats away at you.

nothing good every lasts because it wasnt actually good, im just a fool who was blinded to the abuse.

i hope you hurt the way i do.

[bestpupaku]

you run away like a coward

avoiding a mature conversation

youre pathetic. every part of you is.

i gave you my all, you were too focused on useless bullshit to even give me an ounce back

[bestpupaku]

i feel less human by the day.

[bestpupaku]

It feels like we are the same person. 💔

at least we are in this hell together

[bestpupaku]

she left me. please leave advice for breakups when u have bpd. or kind words. thanks

[bestpupaku]

"what's wrong? you can talk to me."

but my arms already burn against my sleeves and winter just started

[bestpupaku]

yknow its bad when this nan who isn't even real comforts me better than u with repeat lines and smiling.

[bestpupaku]

if this cat died ill be the second to go

[bestpupaku]

everything from you hurts

[bestpupaku]

trying to hold yourself back from regressing during a hard conversation is like trying to fight a war against 300 all on your own.

[bestpupaku]

i force myself for you.

[bestpupaku]

having bpd is like having your inner child scream at you asking why everything is the way it is and why we do what we do and just having to shrug and turn around

[bestpupaku]

they donr need me anymore my worth has run out