Finding my purpose

[bethany-spiby]

Day three of finding my purpose 

A series where I take one step every day in the direction of my soul in order to find my purpose. Many motivational speakers and spiritual talks are fast and furious in telling us how we need to be disciplined, motivated, and stop at nothing to achieve our dreams, goals, and desires. Success stories are filled with rock bottom encounters and building their way to the top with pure grit and determination. I think this is inspirational and good encouragement for those who are wanting to begin up that ladder to success. The problem is, in the midst of discipline, the world around us can become foggy, and anything outside of our tunnel vision of dreams becomes a waste of time for the dreamer. 

In my pursuit of finding my purpose, I don’t want to World around me to become misty. I don’t want to fight for it so hard that I lose touch with myself on the way. Therefore, I will be incorporating as much fun and experience into this journey as possible. I am a child at heart, and fun is my love language. The closer I remain towards that version of me, the quicker I will find what I am looking for.

Why? Because experiences bring us closer to who we are at our core. The essence of us is pure love, from a pure pool of consciousness. Having fun connects us to that love. When we are having fun, our thoughts become back ground noise and our hearts take centre stage. When we are playful, We strengthen that cord of connection with our soul. Having fun and creating new memories means that we are in the present moment. And the present is the only place that you can locate dimensions deeper than the third. Having fun is who we are, it’s what we are meant for as human beings. 

If you are ever feeling scared, alone, sad, unworthy; then do something fun. Play, knit, walk, dance, laugh, crochet, bake, make, cook, clean, run, sing, watch, see. Different things spark a feeling of joy in different people. What’s chaotic and fun for one person might be boring and dull for another. So do something fun for you. 

So, it’s day three of finding my purpose and I ticked rock climbing off my 2023 fun list, and here is what I learned about having fun. When we prioritise fun, we build trust with not only ourselves but with the people around us. When we try something new and put ourselves out there, we must rely on our friends to push us and help us. Ultimately strengthening connections. When we put fun in our diary, alongside meetings and appointments, we anchor ourselves into the present moment, we build on relationships, but most importantly… we feel the fear and do it anyway. We dive into the arms of fear and teach our bodies growth and evolution. So if you get one takeaway from this, it’s to schedule in some fun in your life.  

[bethany-spiby]

Day two of finding my purpose.

A series where I take one step every day in the direction of my soul in order to find my purpose. The leap from looking perfect on social media, to being raw and honest is a wide one, but the funny thing about being vulnerable, is that you really you are not alone. And so It seems, I am one of a bucket full of people who feel somewhat unfulfilled in not reaching their full potential. But in the search for my purpose, I feel more purposeful already. I’m still walking in the dark, but I’m walking forward, and that has already brought me a vastness of joy. 

For day 2, I decided to ask my followers for some guidance on how I, and they, could find their purpose, and it turns out that, honestly, nobody really knows. We are all just winging it. A generation of people who haven’t got a clue, teaching another generation how to be clueless. This is why, in my opinion, we as a society know more about crime than we do about resilience; more about being busy than we do about setting boundaries; more about the alghorithms than we know about how to prepare for our futures; more about problems than solutions, complaints than compassion. We know more about an online strangers daily routine than we know about our own bodies. For millennium, the blind have been leading the blind. It’s about time we all learn how to see. 

What I have realised through understanding that nobody really has their shit together, is that people are looking for purpose, passion, satisfaction, in all the wrong places. People wait for more money to be happy, but I can tell you from experience that bank notes don’t have the ability to cradle you to joy. People wait for a lover to bring them life, acting like a small half to one whole. But listen, people can only meet you at the capacity you can meet yourself. People wait for some external recognition to finally validate themselves. If you can’t shout your own name with absolute pride then no-one is ever going to see you the way you deserve to be seen. 

I think our purposes are stored somewhere within us. Our heart, maybe? Our mind? The hands of our soul? I think it’s revealed to us when we stop looking outside of us; when we take intentional steps into the arms of it; when we are open and ready to claim it. 

We just have to take that one step.

Take a step towards health.

Take a step towards wealth.

Take a step towards love. 

Take a step towards life. 

Take a step towards kindness. 

Take a step towards joy.

Take a long, wide step towards you. 

In a clueless world where everyone is just winging it, we need someone like you to take that step. It calves a deep path for others to follow. All the world needs is one small stroke, in this really big sea. 

I was looking for my purpose today and it led me into the source for some guidance. Into nature. She didn’t say much, but then again, neither did i. 

[bethany-spiby]

Day one of finding my purpose

I’m writing this from a place of unfulfillment, yet hope. Dissatisfaction, but a strange sense of contentment that I feel this way. Feeling unfulfilled and knowing the reason why, seems a much better use of my time than feeling a way with no explanation. Because I can take steps towards slight change. The knowingness of how I’m feeling allows me to walk on a specific path with some kind of direction. The lights are yet to be turned on, but at least I am looking for a switch. The door may be locked but I do hold the key. Almost. 

I am feeling this inner frustration because I know I’m not fulfilling my purpose. I know it so much that my soul may as well have wrote me a letter telling me that I’m taking steps down the wrong road. I can feel it in my heart, in my mind, in my body as a whole. Oprah once said that it starts as a niggle and failing to listen to the niggle, it will indeed transform into a yell, which will turn into a brick to the head. I’m not sure if I’m at the yelling point or the bricking point or somewhere in between, but the voice is there and I’m more than willing to listen. 

I know that in this World I am meant for more. I know I have a voice that needs to be heard; I know that people need me. People I don’t even know exist yet, people whom don’t know me, they need me and for some reason I know it. I just know that people are praying for a guide like me. My niggle tells me so. 

I’m divided between two notions, two ideas; is this my exact path? Was I always meant to end up here, writing these words, looking into every corner of the World trying to find where I fit? Knowing that I’m meant to be a light worker, but dimming day by day. Or have I veered so far off my path by wrong choices and too many moments of unconscious slumber, that I’m simply delaying what already should have become? But everything is happening as it should, I remind myself. 

Many codes in this life I have cracked. The wonderful, love-filled and conscious relationship with my soul mate; the friends that fulfil me in all areas; the well paying job and the financial stability/freedom that I get from that; the beautiful 23rd floor home with views of the sky line and a front row seat to the sun going to sleep every night. I’ve travelled the World, I’ve travelled my own internal World’s. I’ve experienced, i’ve cherished, I’ve lived. Yet still, this feeling is something that ticking things off of my fun list will not shake. It’s embedded in me, and it’s not going anywhere. Not until I listen to my niggle, not until I follow my soul. Not until I find my purpose. 

So this is day one of finding my purpose. I don’t know where this journey will take me, who I will meet along the way, what I’ll end up doing to fulfil myself and those around me. But I do know that things are going to be meaningful. Because I’m trying. And all we can do really is try. 

Every day I will get 1% better. Every day I will take a small step in a simple direction. I don’t know what tomorrow’s step is going to be. God, I barely know todays. But all I can do it take that one small stroke in the big sea. And this is my first step. To write and acknowledge that part of my heart feels empty because I know I’m not doing what I should be doing on this planet. I’m here to raise the consciousness of the World, I’m here to help other people understand who they are. That’s all I know. I don’t know how and I don’t know who, but I do know I’m a healer. And maybe if I find my purpose, I can help others find theirs too. 

Day one of finding my purpose = acknowledge that I’m yet to find it. I acknowledge this voyage I am about to embark on, I’m a little terrified I wont get it right. I’m scared I’ll take some miss steps, I’m even more scared that I’ll quit before I get there. But the first step has been taken, my voyage has begun.