"Letting go. Everyone talks about it like it's the easiest thing. Unfurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open." - Where She Went; Gayle Forman
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoox f!Reader
Summary: What do you do when you feel like the world is changing and you're the only one who isn't? alt. Mingyu and Seokmin have a sleepover therapy session. alt. alt. all too well (Mingyu's version)
Warnings: food mention
Word Count: 1.9k
A/N: this quote isn't from a classic novel but i just thought it was very fitting... this chapter is sad... oh you're sad? hi sad, i'm sadder. also i think we all need to hear seokmin's words sometimes.
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As soon as Mingyu shut the door behind him, he felt the icy November wind whip against his face like shards of glass and he pulled his scarf up just a little bit higher before shoving his hands into his coat pockets. Without the wind, it would have been a lovely night, but when does life ever go the way we’d like it to?
It’s not a long walk from Wonwoo’s house to Joshua’s, but even in the biting cold, Mingyu decides to take his time. The scene from earlier playing again in his head, and he can’t help but feel his heart sink once again at the sight of you reaching out for Wonwoo in your tired state. Would he still be walking alone like this if you were reaching for his hand instead? Or would you be out here with him, your hand intertwined with his, warm and tucked safely in his coat pocket?
He lets out a sigh and looks up to the sky.
He recalls the time you dragged him to ride the tallest rollercoaster at the fair, remembering his own hand reaching out for yours, and squeezing it much too tightly when the car went down its first drop. The air was buzzing and his heart was thumping but when he forced his eyes open, and he saw your hands together, he felt like he might as well had been flying.
Despite himself, he smiles at the thought and continues his walk. He finds himself in front of a playground, much like the one he was at when he met you. He remembers going out to recess that day, crying because Wonwoo had moved away and he and Seokmin were worried no one else would want to play pirates with them. It wasn’t until he saw a shadow standing in front of him that he finally stopped his tears.
You and Seokmin pulled him up and before you even said your name, you told him, “Follow me, I found some treasure!”
That moment, he remembers, was the moment he decided he would follow you anywhere.
But would you do the same? He thinks.
Before he can wonder any further, he finds himself back at his car. He climbs inside and immediately turns on the heater, and desperately wishes it would work faster. While he waits, he pulls out his phone, and he feels even colder. His wallpaper, the picture Seokmin took at the football game of you and him making a heart, is staring up at him and he wishes he could make a home in that picture and stay in that moment forever.
Mingyu never told you, but Seokmin had two versions of the picture – the one he sent you, where you and Mingyu were both laughing and waving to Seokmin, and the one Mingyu has as his wallpaper, where you were still laughing and waving but Mingyu’s eyes were fixed on you with a dopey smile. He smiles a different smile now, one that doesn’t reach his eyes.
He moves to his call screen, and finds Seokmin’s number and dials it, hoping that he’s still awake. After a few rings, he finally does, and Mingyu feels relief wash through his tense shoulders.
“Gyu? Are you okay? What’s up?” Seokmin’s voice fills the car. Mingyu can hear the faint sounds of a video game in the background and he feels less guilty for calling him up so late, not that he should feel guilty at all. Seokmin was always more than happy to answer a call from his friends, no matter the time of day.
Mingyu lets out a quiet chuckle at his best friend’s worried voice. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” Mingyu assures him. “I just need someone to talk to while I drive home.”
A soft exhale is heard from the other side of the line. “You’re driving home? At this time of night?” he asks in concern. “Why don’t you just drive here and sleep over? It’s like half the drive.”
“Are you sure?” Mingyu asks.
“Of course,” Seokmin says back, and Mingyu can hear the kind smile in his voice. Seokmin has always been one to take care of not just Mingyu, but all of the people around him. He knew Seokmin didn’t realize how many people relied on him for a good talk, a good meal, or a good hug, but he knew that wouldn’t deter him from always being a bringer of joy. Tonight would be no different.
Mingyu puts his car in drive and heads to Seokmin’s house, no longer alone with his thoughts. He drives by whatever fast food drive through to pick up enough french fries for the two of them, as a thank you to his friend for being there for him.
He spends the next 20 minutes of the drive still on the phone with Seokmin, who excitedly chatters about the new game he bought himself as an early Christmas gift and refuses to hang up until he hears Mingyu’s actual voice through his front door.
Seokmin unlocks the door and without another word, immediately wraps Mingyu in an embrace, as if knowing exactly what he needs without him having to say a word. Mingyu feels himself relaxed and when Seokmin pulls away with a knowing, sad smile, Mingyu feels seen. They quietly make their way to Seokmin’s room, the path all too familiar to him, having spent many nights here.
Upon entering Seokmin’s room and closing the door, Seokmin immediately asks Mingyu, “Video games or talk first?”
“Do I have to talk?” Mingyu asks, knowing Seokmin will say yes anyway.
Seokmin scoffs at his question. “Obviously. But you can either talk now, or talk after we kick some ass at this game.”
“Let’s kick some ass then,” Mingyu agrees to his terms as Seokmin passes him a controller.
They don’t get very far in the game before Seokmin breaks the relative silence. “How was your road trip?” he asked, glancing over at Mingyu just enough to see him start chewing on his lip.
“I thought we were talking later?” Mingyu retorted.
“I lied. It’s like 5 a.m. and I’m not waiting till sunrise to hear the juicy deets,” Seokmin shrugged turning his attention back to the game.
“It was… fine,” Mingyu answered vaguely.
Seokmin, unamused by his dodgy answer, moved his character to the edge of the map. “If you don’t start talking, I’ll jump and we’ll have to start the whole level over again.”
“No, no, no,” Mingyu called out, letting out a sigh at Seokmin’s raised eyebrow. “It sucked.”
“Aw, why?” Seokmin asked, finally moving his character away from the edge.
Mingyu sighed, nearly missing the enemy approaching his character. “I’m pretty sure she’s like… in love with Wonwoo,” he began. “And I think he’s in love with her.”
“Okay but that doesn’t explain why it sucked for you,” Seokmin prodded.
“It just does, I guess.” Mingyu replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
“That’s bull,” Seokmin replied. “Why don’t you just tell her? It’s like you’re losing a game that you’re not even playing.”
Mingyu let out a sigh and let himself fall back onto the bed, running his hands through his hair. “It’s scary, you know?” Seokmin nodded, allowing Mingyu to continue. “On one hand, it’s always been me and her–” Seokmin let out a cough. “And you, against the world. And for so long it’s been easy to feel like it’ll be that way forever. So I never said anything, because I never thought I needed to. It was always enough.”
“But…?” Seokmin added.
“But now it feels like things are changing, she’s changing, you’re changing, and I’m the one who’s left behind. Now I have to ask myself… what happens now?”
“That’s a good question,” Seokmin agreed, humming in thought. “What does happen now?”
“That’s the hard part. For once… I don’t know.”
“And is that so bad?” Seokmin asked, grabbing a pillow and holding it to his chest. “Maybe it’s time for you to grow too. We won’t be in high school forever, Gyu. Change is good.”
Mingyu covered his hands with his face and let out a sigh before admitting to his friend. “I turned in my application to that school in France. But I think I’m going to turn them down.”
“Wait why?,” Seokmin asked incredulously. “Did they accept you?”
Mingyu finally sat up. “Not yet.”
“Then why are you already planning on turning them down?” Seokmin asked with a scoff.
Because of her, Mingyu thought to himself. “Because… it’ll mess everything up. We’re supposed to go to university together.”
“Don’t do that Mingyu,” Seokmin chided with a firm voice that made Mingyu turn to him in surprise. “Don’t underestimate our friendship because you’re scared to do something that will make you happy… that will help you grow. This is what happens now. You’ll try something new and your best friends will be here when you succeed and if you fail, which you won’t because you’re an insanely talented chef.”
Mingyu nodded and let out a soft chuckle. “That’s what her dad said to me when he sent me the application,” He admitted. “That I’ll be able to handle anything because I’ve got the two of you in my corner.”
Seokmin nodded, patting him on the back. “Exactly,” he agreed. “Just because our friendship will look differently if you’re thousands of miles away, doesn’t mean it’ll disappear. Let go, Gyu. We’ll hold onto you this time.”
Despite himself, Mingyu felt a tear make its way down from the corner of his eye. Maybe, he thought, life will work itself out even if he lets go of the reins.
As if on cue, a quiet ping from his phone followed by a notification that covers nearly half the screen makes Mingyu and Seokmin freeze in surprise.
“Are you gonna check that?” Seokmin asks, his eyes not leaving Mingyu, who’s own eyes were fixed on the phone.
“I… You do it,” Mingyu panicked, tossing the phone to Seokmin.
“First,” Seokmin began before unlocking the phone. “What do you hope it’ll say?”
“I’m not sure,” Mingyu confessed.
Seokmin looks down at the phone. “You didn’t get accepted.” His eyes scan Mingyu’s face, finding disappointment washing over his features.
“Oh,” was all Mingyu could say.
“See? You do want to get in,” Seokmin deduced. “I haven’t opened the email. I just wanted to see how you’d react.” Mingyu grabbed a pillow to hit Seokmin, who attempted to block it away.
“Just read the damn email,” Mingyu sighed in frustration.
Seokmin opened the notification and began to read it out loud. “Dear Mr. Mingyu Kim, we are pleased to offer you an early placement as a student at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris as part of our Bachelor of Business in Culinary Arts program,” he read aloud before putting the phone down, once again looking to measure Mingyu’s reaction before providing his own.
“Oh my god. I got in.” Mingyu found himself grinning. “Oh my god… I got in.”
Seokmin finally smiled back at his friend, handing him the phone to read the email for himself. “Congratulations, Chef Gyu.”
Mingyu rolled his eyes before pulling Seokmin into a hug. “Thank you,” was all he said.
“Always,” Seokmin replied. “Now let’s go to bed, I’m beat.”
Mingyu nodded, and too lazy to move from his spot on the bed settled in next to Seokmin. He grabbed his phone once more to look at the time. 6:00. The sun will be up soon, he reminded himself, and the night will end.
Summary: You don't feel alive unless you're crisping up on his backburner
Warnings: ANGST. pure angst. not a single shred of light.
Word Count: 900
A/N: the niki concert did something to me. if u want to cry, listen to the song backburner by niki. (based off that song)
Your finger hovers over the green button even before the second ring and you tell yourself to count to 12 before you let it make contact with the screen. The slight tremor in your hand is enough to remind yourself why you should have hit decline instead, but when his tired voice fills your ears, it hits you like air in your lungs and you wonder how you even live when he’s not there.
“Hey,” he says. He sounds sad, and the silence in the background instead of the usual overlapping chatter tells you he’s alone too. He must have snuck away to his studio to get away from everyone.
“Hey yourself,” you reply, trying to tone down your excitement. It had been weeks since Jihoon had last called you and you had missed him, to say the least. Every day the temptation to call him first, to text him first, grew harder and harder to resist. But you told yourself it was time to break yourself out of this perpetual cycle of being at the beck and call of someone who you would never be able to call yours. Did you ever actually break out of it?
If you did, you wouldn’t be here, sitting with your unfinished assignments scattered in front of you on your desk, lying that you have nothing to do so you could listen to him talk idly about a song he learned on his guitar by The Goo Goo Dolls and how he wanted to play it for this new girl he’s been seeing lately.
You roll your eyes and decide right then that The Goo Goo Dolls are dead to you. But you don’t say this out loud. Instead you say, “Oh she’ll love that. Anyone would be lucky to hear you sing that for them.”
And you wish he would tell you that you’re the only person he could ever dedicate a love song to. Instead he says “Right? I think she’s pretty into me already so this is just gonna seal the deal.”
You have nothing to say to that, but part of you is scared that enough silence might convince him to hang up the phone, and you aren’t sure you’d be able to go another 3 weeks without his voice. So you ask instead about the anime he started watching and it gets him going.
You don’t have a single clue what he’s talking about but you do know that when he says “I miss watching Naruto with you,” your heart skips and you feel the oh so familiar ache of missing him once again.
Maybe he’ll finally choose you after he’s had more time.
But maybe, you’ll settle for being the one he calls when the girls he loves become a song in his notes app about never being the one who’s chosen and you’ll do the same thing you do now – you’ll hate yourself for picking up his call but feel a twisted sense of pride when he tells you you’re the only person he would ever tell this to. He’ll tell you that there’s no one else like you and sometimes he might even tell you that he hopes your heart never breaks the way his does and he’ll never know that it already has.
He’ll call you and he’s crying, which he never does in front of anyone but you. He asks for advice and in a month you hear him sing your words on a song he wrote about another girl and you’ll remind yourself that he looks ugly when he cries. You’ll hate him for a week but then he calls again to invite you over and you’ll fight yourself all the way to the front door as you wear the perfume he likes and the shirt he once gave you and you’ll find yourself laying against his chest, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist and you’ll close your eyes and pretend that he called you here because he loves you and not just to feel the familiar warmth of a body next to his. While he’s asleep, you’ll let a tear slip out and tell yourself it’s the last time.
But when you wake up without him beside you the next morning and you see the burnt pancakes pushed to the back corner of his stove with a note that says “don’t eat these! They’re no good, be back soon :)” you remember where you exist in his heart and you wonder if he’ll forget about you the way he did the pancakes. But every time he’ll come back and you’ll let your own heart root for him just a little more.
He’ll be back. Jihoon always comes back.
You say it to yourself every time he leaves. Maybe that’s why you believe it now too. After weeks of radio silence, when you think he’s finally gone, and you can finally pull yourself away from his grasp to find someone who won’t love you part-time, his name will etch itself onto your phone and your heart once again.
Then you’ll find yourself here once again answering a siren’s call, and you’ll curtsy with a smile right as you walk off the plank.
Maybe he’ll choose you after he’s had more time.
The truth is you know he won’t. But whether it’s of free will or predestined, you know you’ll always find yourself on his back burner.
“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights; Emily Brontë
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoox f!Reader
Summary: lego aisle arguments turn into confessions over waffles
Warnings: food mentions
Word Count: 4.1k
A/N: this is basically a chapter of people just talking lol. lots of dialogue, but sometimes, conversations are what keep us going. I wrote this with the song Rollercoaster by Sundial playing. it has nothing to do with anything, i just wanna promote them lol.
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“Welcome! You guys are nearly an hour late,” Jeonghan chastised them as soon as he opened the door.
“Sorry,” Wonwoo heard you apologize to him as you handed the gift bag of Lego and candy to Jeonghan. “Somebody had a stick up his ass so it took us a little longer to get around.” Wonwoo scoffed at the pointed look you gave him over your shoulder as you walked past Jeonghan and into the party.
You were glad to finally be away from Wonwoo, if you were being honest. The silent car ride was suffocating, and you couldn’t help but be angry at him for his question earlier.
“Why do you care so much?”
Because they’re his friends, you had reasoned. Because you care about him and they mean a lot to him and you would like to mean a lot to him. But you can’t really admit that to the guy who publicly rejected your confession and is now your roommate that you’re kind of friends with.
It was the “kind of” friends that irked you the most. He didn’t make any sense. Some days he was kind to you, and some days he was the same icy Wonwoo who didn’t even read the letter you had spent hours writing. But unfortunately, no matter how he acted at any given moment, he was still constantly on your mind. So much so, that you didn’t even realize your best friends had appeared in front of you with a beverage to offer until you heard his name.
“What happened to Wonwoo?” Mingyu wondered out loud as he looked past you to where Jeonghan was interrogating him at the front door.
“I overheard Jeonghan asking what he did to piss her off,” Seokmin explained as he gestured towards you.
Mingyu hummed in acknowledgment. “So then what happened to you?” He asked with an eyebrow raised.
You let out a sigh as you accepted the soda from Seokmin, opening it up and taking a sip before you explained what happened in the Lego section of Target earlier that day. You also explained why his comment frustrated you more than it should and how you honestly felt kind of silly for being so bothered by it.
“Stop,” Seokmin said as he led you outside to the patio where he sat beside you on the bench and wrapped an arm around you. Mingyu sat down on your other side. “If it bothers you then leave it at that, it’s okay to be upset especially with someone as confusing as Wonwoo.”
You looked across the yard to see him laughing at something Vernon was explaining and you found yourself smiling despite yourself. “I just wish I knew what he was thinking, you know?” You confessed. “Or even better, I wish I didn’t care what he thought of me.”
It felt more than a little bit silly to still be upset by his words. A part of you knew that he didn’t mean it in a malicious way, but was just curious. However, that part was overshadowed by the way your heart still continued to ache at the sight of him, wishing that you could make him laugh the way his friends did.
Now it was Mingyu’s turn to let out a sigh, causing you to turn to him. “It’s no use lingering on it,” he commented. He stood up and extended a hand out to you and Seokmin to help the two of you up. “Do you remember when we were little and we watched Hocus Pocus for the first time?”
Seokmin smiled at the memory. “How could I forget? I was traumatized after the cat reinflated itself.” You let out a laugh too and reached out for Seokmin’s hand, forming a circle between the three of you.
“Are we doing a calming circle?” you questioned. Mingyu nodded as you and Seokmin shared a look, both of you chuckling at the idea. “Okay, think soothing thoughts, you guys. Soothing thoughts.”
“Pizza,” Seokmin called as the three of you began spinning around in a circle.
“Hot chocolate, pumpkin pie,” Mingyu continued as he tried to spin the three of you faster.
“Rain, movie marathons,” you called out, struggling to keep up with the speed of the circle. “Standing still!” You added and immediately felt your own momentum leading you to crash right into Mingyu’s chest. You could feel the rumble in his chest as he laughed and wrapped an arm around you, trying to help you keep your balance.
“Feel better?” You heard Seokmin call as he embraced you as well from behind.
Was there any way you couldn’t feel better? Sandwiched between your two best friends, you couldn’t feel any safer. When the three of you finally broke apart and stumbled your way back to the patio bench, you let out a contented sigh.
“You know,” You began. “I’m really glad we’re going to university together. I don’t know if I can imagine not being with you guys.” If you weren’t already feeling upset about literally everything else, you wouldn’t have noticed the pointed look Seokmin gave Mingyu, who looked away quickly. “Am I… missing something?” you asked tentatively.
“Yeah,” Seokmin said. “Are we missing something?” He raised an eyebrow at his friend who turned around with a guilty look on his face.
“Listen, I–” Mingyu started to speak before you heard Minghao call your name as he ran to you from across the yard with your phone held up. You glanced at Mingyu who let out a sigh of relief at the interruption.
Minghao handed you your phone, just as it stopped ringing. “You left your phone inside,” He panted. “Your dad’s been calling for like 10 minutes.”
“My dad?” you asked as Minghao nodded. “He doesn’t usually call while he’s at work.” By now, the effects of your calming circle had faded, and been replaced with early feelings of panic. You stepped away from your worried friends to find a secluded space to call your dad.
It only took two rings for him to answer. “Hey, honey,” he greeted, already sounding apologetic.
“Hey dad,” you replied. “Is everything okay?” you asked tentatively, trying to stop your mind from immediately jumping to the worst case scenario.
You could hear him let out a sigh before answering you. “Yeah, everything is going well,” he said. “So well in fact, that my boss wants me to stay here for the rest of the month…” the end of his sentence trailed off as he waited for you to respond.
“What does that mean?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.
“It means I won’t be seeing you until next month at the earliest,” he replied. It had been almost a whole month since you had seen your dad, the night he dropped you off at the Jeon residence, and it was the longest you’ve ever been away from him.
To say that it was hard to be away from him was an understatement. For so long it had just been you and your dad. Besides Mingyu and Seokmin, he was your best friend and your number one supporter. He was your shoulder to cry on, your favorite gossip-buddy, and you missed him. Phone calls with him have been far and few and between, and they couldn’t match the excitement of coming home from school to have a snack with him while you talked about your day. On top of that, there was a senior awards ceremony this month, and you had been excited for your dad to see you receive an award from the literature and writing department.
But you didn’t want him to know that, so instead you put on a smile and pushed the tears back down. “It’s okay dad,” you replied to him. “I miss you, but I’m sure they’ll miss you more at the restaurant. Besides, Mr. Jeon and Wonwoo have been making sure I eat all my meals and drink enough water and get enough rest.” You let out a chuckle to really seal the deal.
“Okay,” he let out a relieved sigh. “I’m glad you’re okay. I’m really sorry again, but I’ll see you soon, I promise. I love you,” he added.
“You too, dad.” As soon as the red button was pressed, the tears began to spill from your eyes. If it wasn’t for the argument you had earlier with Wonwoo and the anxiety you felt about what Mingyu was going to tell you and Seokmin, it wouldn’t have been this hard. But sometimes, things just add up and make you sad. And that’s okay. You were thankful for the pair of arms that wrapped around you and the soothing voice that reminded you of these things because it was definitely hard to remind yourself.
“Hey,” Seokmin called to you as you rested your head on Mingyu’s shoulder. “Is your dad okay?”
You nodded softly. “Yeah, he’s fine. But he said he won’t be coming home till next month.” By now the tears had kind of stopped and you took a step back from Mingyu, still feeling anxious about what news he would tell you. “Mingyu,” you asked tentatively. “What were you going to tell us earlier?”
Mingyu’s eyes suddenly couldn’t meet yours as he looked across the yard to where everyone else was gathered. “Don’t worry about it,” he replied. “I’ll tell you another day.” His smile didn’t meet his eyes and his words did not convince you to not worry about it. But now was not the time to push him and instead you let it go, letting a beat of silence take over among the three of you.
“There’s something about sunsets in October that just feel poetic,” Seokmin mused aloud as he looked to where the sun was beginning to dip into the horizon. “Do you think the sunset is just as beautiful everywhere?”
Although you know he didn’t mean it, Seokmin’s question made you sad again. Was the sunset your dad saw just as beautiful as this one? Was it just as beautiful when he saw it without you? Or was he like you? Unable to see the oranges and reds in the sky fading into indigo without remembering the smell of the mug of his special hot chocolate that was always waiting for you on cold fall evenings.
Suddenly, all you wanted to do was be away from everyone. While Mingyu and Seokmin were busy discussing the beauty of the sunset, you found yourself sinking back towards the door. It seems however, you weren’t the only one who wasn’t feeling the party mood anymore because you suddenly found yourself alone in the kitchen with Wonwoo, who was still watching the party going on outside with a far away look that made you wonder what was on his mind.
Unsure what to say, you stood at the kitchen island beside him and stared out into the yard where the rest of your friends were about to start party games and let the silence rest between the two of you. You weren’t sure if it was because of the weight of your dad’s call outweighing your petty argument from earlier, but you somehow felt safe here in Wonwoo’s company, comfortable even in the silence.
The silence sat for what felt like minutes until Wonwoo spoke first with a soft voice. “Wanna get out of here?” he asked, looking at you for the first time since you had entered the kitchen. You nodded in response, thankful that he was the one to bring it up and not you. “I’ll just say goodbye to the boys, but you can head to the car first.” You honestly feel a little bit guilty that you were about to leave without saying goodbye, but as if Wonwoo noticed the way you shifted hesitantly, he added “I’ll make sure to give your regards to the birthday boy… I’ll say you weren’t feeling well.”
He handed you his keys, the jingle of his many souvenir keychains providing you with a sense of familiarity. You watched as he walked back outside and put on a smile that didn’t feel as real as the ones you had seen earlier, and made your way to the front door.
“You’re leaving?” A familiar voice called from behind you. Your hand froze on the doorknob as you turned to see Mingyu standing what felt unfamiliarly far away from you.
“Yeah,” you replied sheepishly. “Wonwoo said he was ready to go home.” That wasn’t really what happened, but for some reason you felt guilty for not wanting to spend time with your best friends and their best friends.
“Oh,” Mingyu acknowledged. He paused for a second, letting his eyes wander anywhere else before continuing. Why was he awkward all of a sudden? “I could just take you home if you wanted to stay longer,” he finally added, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck as he hesitantly took a few more steps in your direction.
On any other day, you would have taken him up on his offer, but thinking back to his words earlier, you had a feeling that making the choice to go with Mingyu would lead to more bad news and that was just something your heavy heart could not handle any more of tonight. So with a soft shake of your head, you turned him down. “Sorry,” you apologized with a sad smile. “I can’t tonight.”
Mingyu nodded, wringing his hands together uncomfortably before shoving them back in his pockets. “Another time then,” he said with the same hollow smile he had earlier before offering to open the door for you. He watched you walk into the now indigo evening, watching until you made your way to the passenger’s seat of Wonwoo’s car and only finally waving goodbye when he heard the lock of the car door, making sure you were safely inside.
Something felt off today, you thought, not just with your own emotions, but with everyone else. There was an air of unnamable sadness that seemed to sit on everyone’s shoulders and it made you feel a little guilty to be wallowing in your own when you could be caring for your friends. It was an easy rabbit hole to fall into, especially sitting alone in the cold and darkness of the car. Realizing how quickly you could snowball, you opted instead to turn the key and start the car, reaching over to start the heater and the radio.
Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Wonwoo opened the driver’s side and entered the car. “Thanks for starting the heater,” he said with an echo of a shiver in his voice. He plugged his phone in before opening his GPS app. “Do you want to go home?” The tone in his voice implied a second unsaid offer, which you gladly took up.
“Can we drive around for a bit instead?” You asked as Wonwoo hummed in response. He closed out of the app, opting instead to put on his driving playlist as he pulled out from his spot and onto the road.
Much like earlier, the drive was silent. But unlike earlier, there was no tension that lay like a bridge on fire between the two of you, but rather there was comfort like opposite sides of a still lake. You found yourself looking up at him, admiring the way his left hand rested on the top of the steering wheel, and his right hand on the gearshift. His hair, disheveled from brushing falling leaves out of his hair outside, reminded you of the night you drove home from the football game.
It was much colder outside than it was that night, but at this moment, you still felt warm. Much like that night, he was glowing in the city lights. You hoped he couldn’t see you staring at him, but part of you felt like even if he noticed, there was no need to look away.
“Wonwoo,” you called his name in a whisper and he turned to glance at you before turning his attention back to the somewhat empty city streets. “Do you hate me?” The question surprised even you as you said it. But before you could make an attempt to retract it, Wonwoo pulled into a parking lot and quickly parked his car before looking at you with a more serious look than you had seen on him before.
“No,” he answered firmly. “I don’t hate you.” Honestly, you didn’t expect him to answer that quickly, or with that much conviction. Wonwoo looked at the surprised, blank look on your face. You don’t think he expected it either. “What made you think that?” Was he… hurt by your question?
The slight pout on his lips and the way his eyebrows scrunched together made you want to take the question back altogether. “I…” you began, unsure of what to say. Would anything you said even change anything? Deciding that words left unspoken now would be silence you regret later on, you took a deep breath before continuing. “I just never know what you think about me. I know it shouldn’t really matter, but it does. To me, it does. Sometimes, it’s like we’re in sync, like we know each other’s thoughts, but then we argue in the middle of the store and I suddenly feel as small as I did when I first tried to jump off the swings and sprained my wrist in kindergarten.”
You knew that now that you had started, there wasn’t any way for you to stop until you had run out of things to say, so you continued. “I want to know because I hate not knowing. And I know you know what that feels like and I also know how much you hate it too. I’m tired of this weird back and forth, and all this whiplash. There’s too much uncertainty in my life right now, and if I could find even one corner where I just know what’s going on, I’ll take it, even if it means knowing you want me far away from you. So tell me again, and tell me honestly, do you hate me?”
You were breathing hard now, and you prayed that the tears that threatened to spill would recede. There was a bit more you wanted to say, but you knew it wasn’t the time. Balling your fists up to hide how badly your hands were trembling, you looked down at the center console where Wonwoo’s hand was trembling just the same, as if itching to move. You found the courage to meet his eyes to find a surprising tenderness in them.
“I don’t hate you,” he said again with such softness it made your heart stutter. He swallowed before opening his mouth to continue, but not knowing what else to say. For a second, you just stared at him. His features were now tinted with hints of blue and red as you saw the reflection of the neon sign of a diner in his wire-framed glasses. Was the name of the restaurant becoming clearer in his lenses or was he leaning ever so slightly into you?
Before you could realize your eyes were beginning to flutter shut or the way your hand was inching toward his on the center console, you were interrupted by the gnarliest growl from your stomach. Suddenly time was frozen until Wonwoo’s deep laugh broke the silence, soon followed by your own fit of laughter.
Were we about to… kiss? The idea bounced around in your head until the sound of Wonwoo’s voice cracking snapped you out of it. This was not something to fixate on right now.
“I think I owe you some waffles,” was all he said before turning off the engine.
Halfway through a stack of waffles and a very large and very sweet milkshake later, Wonwoo asked you a question. “Did you actually like The Stranger?”
You were confused a second before it faded into surprise that he remembered that interaction. “I did,” you answered honestly, cutting into another piece of your waffle. “But I don’t think I like it as much as I used to.” Wonwoo hummed in thought as he stuffed a whole strip of bacon into his mouth as you laughed at the sight. “Why do you ask?” you asked in between giggles.
“I was reading it again,” he answered after swallowing his bite. “And like you said, it’s just not as good as I used to think it was. Then I remembered what you said to me that day, about stories about life not having meaning.”
You took another bite as you waited for him to continue and watched as he began to mindlessly fidget with the bottle of maple syrup. “I think you’re right about that,” he mused. “Maybe you and I have started to find more meaning in life.” He looked up at you with a small smile.
“You might be onto something,” you replied. You already knew that though. That book stopped being your favorite the day he stole it from you. After that, you were much more interested in the story you were telling with your own life than the hollow life of the man in The Stranger. “What books do you think are actually good then?” you asked curiously.
“It’s kind of dorky,” he began, a blush creeping into his cheeks as he pushed around the remains of his dinner on his plate. “But I’m a big fan of Jane Austen and all those classic romances.” You let out a surprised scoff. You weren’t expecting Wonwoo to be such a romantic. He rolled his eyes as you grinned at him in shock.
“No way?” you remarked. “That’s so… literature-teacher-esque of you.” You leaned back as you took another sip of your milkshake.
“I know,” he agreed. “You should see what my books look like. It’s every literature teacher’s fantasy.” He tried to fight back a smile but immediately failed when he saw how excited you seemed to be upon learning this information.
“Why don’t you be one then?” you asked. “Like seriously? I think you’d be a great teacher. You taught me math, so obviously you’re some kind of miracle worker.” Part of you was joking, but when you saw the way he pushed his glasses up to hide the furrow in his brows, it began to sink in how great of an idea it was.
Wonwoo leaned his chin into his hand. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never really thought about being a teacher.”
“Well maybe it’s time to start,” you replied cheerfully. “What was your original plan?” Now that you were thinking about it, you realized that for a man of routine and planning and detail, he seemed to have a pretty fuzzy idea of what life would be like after high school. Every time someone mentioned college plans, he’d give some vague and lofty idea to pacify whoever was asking.
“Honestly,” he answered. “I didn’t really have one.” His shoulders fell as if he had been waiting for a long time to admit that to anyone else but himself. “What about you?”
“I’m going to be a writer,” you replied with a smile and Wonwoo couldn’t help but mirror it back to you.
“I believe it,” he agreed. “You’re a great writer.” Your smile turned into a look of confusion. Where had he seen your writing before? You had never written anything outside of your diary except –
Wonwoo let out a cough as he saw signs of recognition light up your features. “I mean, I heard you were a great writer,” he tried to cover up. “I overheard some of the teachers talking about giving you a writing award at the ceremony next week.”
The compliment he was paying you was shadowed by the memory of your phone call with your dad earlier. Wonwoo picked up on the sadness that quickly swept over your features.
“You okay?” he asked softly, his head lowering to try to meet your own lowered eyes.
“Yeah,” you replied unconvincingly before you let out a sigh. “My dad isn’t going to make it to the ceremony. He called me at the party.”
Suddenly, it was Wonwoo’s turn to piece things together. “Ah,” he replied. “I see.”
You cleared your throat and put your face in your hands. “But it’s fine, it’s just a piece of paper,” you tried to convince yourself, but Wonwoo saw past it. However, he could also tell that it wasn’t something you wanted to talk about anymore and you looked at him gratefully when he changed the subject.
“So,” Wonwoo began. “How many more waffles do you think we can demolish?”
You couldn’t hide the smile on your face as you prayed to anyone who heard your thoughts for you to be as content as you were right now.
Summary: He's cool, smart, attractive... and completely out of your league. But that won't stop you from falling head over heels for him.
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x fem!Reader
Genre: High School AU, fluff
A/N: this one goes out to all the book nerds i did this for us besties. this was loosely based on an anime i watched, but in the end it was not really like it lol. I've worked on this for months now so please show a lot of love!
masterlist
table of contents under the cut!
I. the gentle indifference of the world
II. the best of times, the worst of times
III. if you want to keep a secret
IV. a truth universally acknowledged
V. more myself than i am
VI. all this happened... more or less
VII. we interrupt this program...
VIII. if you want to keep a secret
IX. i like you (first, second, and third)
X. and so with the sunshine
Summary: He's cool, smart, attractive... and completely out of your league. But that won't stop you from falling head over heels for him.
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x fem!Reader
Genre: High School AU, fluff
A/N: this one goes out to all the book nerds i did this for us besties. this was loosely based on an anime i watched, but in the end it was not really like it lol. I've worked on this for months now so please show a lot of love!
masterlist
table of contents under the cut!
I. the gentle indifference of the world
II. the best of times, the worst of times
III. if you want to keep a secret
IV. a truth universally acknowledged
V. more myself than i am
VI. all this happened... more or less
VII. we interrupt this program...
VIII. if you want to keep a secret
IX. i like you (first, second, and third)
X. and so with the sunshine
a/n: these are very much american high school based, since that’s all i’ve ever known
seungcheol: captain of the varsity football team
this is kind of self explanatory, s coups has major jock himbo energy and he reminds me of the nice football players i knew in high school. he would always ask you for answers on last night’s statistics homework but 100% always repays you with a pastry and iced coffee every morning as gratitude. takes his classes pretty seriously and makes sure his teammates do too bc coach says if they fail a class they’re gonna get benched. probably also organizes team bonding activities on weekends. goes to IHOP after every game. (secretly thinks theatre kids are misunderstood… wants to sing at said IHOP)
jeonghan: student medic
ok i hope this wasn’t specific to my high school, but tell me you don’t see jeonghan as a student medic. :| any time someone (mingyu) gets injured he’s there to take care of them. the only person the football team trusts to treat them, and they say he has an angel’s touch. he always gets such a bad rap for being chaotic but we all know he’s such a caring person and i promise i only thought about this concept a normal amount. i definitely did not sob over how soft jeonghan is.
joshua: choir boy (exclusively show choir. not to be confused with glee club)
my high school had this thing where choir members would perform with a band and they would do pop songs and it was definitely the least cringey way to perform said pop songs. i think since joshua plays guitar he was an automatic shoo-in for the group. he adamantly fought against joining until they told him he could perform sunday morning by maroon 5. it is now a condition that he plays it at every concert. most of the freshmen start believing he wrote that song and they praise him for his songwriting abilities.
jun: colorguard
in this house we respect the flag. aka the sparkly glittery flag that jun tosses around the football field like a badass. he gets all of the dramatic solos in every marching band show because he’s the colorguard captain’s favorite member. insanely acrobatic and artful. rumor has it he made the head drum major cry once at a football game. every year the band director tries to recruit him to stay and learn an instrument but every year jun refuses and no one hears from him again for the rest of the school year until the next football season. there’s a rumor being spread that he doesn’t even go here. but he does.
soonyoung: colorguard captain
honestly, he joined by mistake. he thought colorguard was a sport, played like capture the flag. but once he realized it was basically dance but you can throw things and wear pretty costumes, he was hooked. he also recruited his friend jun to join and they both loved it. one time the band played eye of the tiger and soonyoung fought for his life to wear a tiger costume rather than the costumes they were supposed to wear. when the director said no, he did it anyway. he didn’t get in trouble. in fact the director decided to integrate it into the program.
wonwoo: football team… but also esports club
yes he’s in the football team during the fall semester but as soon as football season is done, his after school hours are spent with the esports team at the local gaming cafe. i hate to say it besties but he probably plays league of legends. /: but during football season, he serves as seungcheol’s second in command, mostly helping him to plan out smaller events like study nights for the team and even helps his teammates with their college applications. the resident football team tutor. he really is just a nerd in disguise and i have to say he is my ideal man.
jihoon: head drum major
this is so obvious y’all. as a Former Band Kid™️ myself (unfortunately), i can attest to this idea that jihoon would be THE best drum major. he’s somehow both insanely threatening and scary to freshmen but also the kindest and most helpful person in the band. he started out doing percussion but he has a very solid understanding of music theory in general and likes to help people out with the music. one time a freshman joked a little too loudly that he was too short to be drum major and jihoon made him run 20 laps with the metronome on. no one ever said anything again. wears aviator sunglasses to every practice and carries extra chalk in a little pouch for people to mark spots.
minghao: head of the yearbook committee
if minghao is the head of the yearbook committee you can bet your ASS that every page will be thoroughly inspected for spelling errors, grammar errors, and aesthetic errors. not a single page goes unchecked by him, and if it doesn’t fit the theme of that year’s yearbook, you’re starting over. the yearbook is so popular every year that he gets dozens of applications to join the staff but he only ever selects 1-2 people a year. his yearbook staff is for the elite. it’s a finely tuned process that he has earned the right to brag about creating. no deadlines are missed. not here. he’s so intense about it that he’s also somehow become insanely popular for it. every year he gets so many requests to sign yearbooks that he just bought a stamp with his signature on it.
mingyu: ex-football team, current nerd (affectionate)
mingyu is a jock-turned-nerd. he was co-captain of the football team until his last year when he suddenly decided to quit football and take as many AP classes as possible to boost his gpa. the football team still considers him an honorary member… since he never left the group chat and no one had the heart to kick him out. but they don’t mind since he brings fresh cooked meals that he makes in class to the football teams practices. he delivers the food and sits on the bleachers and does homework while watching them practice. assists wonwoo in tutoring their teammates. he specializes in math. likes to host charcuterie parties at his house.
seokmin: theatre boy, and writer for the newspaper
hehe he’s a theatre kid and i’m obsessed with the idea of it. idk why theatre kids get such a bad rap, they’re so talented?? anyway i digress. seokmin is a front runner for the male lead in every production. the sharpay evans of his high school. the choir teacher has been recruiting him for years but he doesn’t want to be in choir. he will however sing backup for joshua. he also writes a review for the school paper where he reviews local pizza chains every week. he does it anonymously however, and goes by the name pizzaboi but mostly everyone knows it’s him.
seungkwan: choir boy, student medic
he was recruited into both of these activities by joshua and jeonghan respectively, but he’s glad they did. at first the two had placed a bet on which of their organizations he would join, and when he found out about it, he joined both and made them split the profit with him. they both knew then… he was perfect. he’s being raised to lead both organizations and knowing seungkwan, he can handle the challenge. at every choir concert he picks a different beyoncé song and people started calling him boo-yoncé. he says it’s not getting to his head, but it definitely is. joshua calls him thomas to humble him.
vernon: photographer for the yearbook
if you see vernon near you with a camera, you know you’re in for a blast. turns every picture into something artsy. minghao says it’s camp. he could be there to photograph the mock trial team for the mock trial post but on the final cut of the yearbook you’ll see a skeleton photoshopped into a picture of one of the mock trial members asleep on the bus, and everyone will wonder why they had never gotten the metaphor. truth does sleep on justice. vernon doesn’t know how to tell everyone that he’s just seeing how far he can go before someone says his photographs are just random things he turned into minghao. he tried to tell minghao but he didn’t believe him. everyone thinks he’s a poetic genius. one teacher tried to submit his work for a Pulitzer prize. the reply said “this is an onion holding up a trash can… just because it’s black and white doesn’t make it art”
chan: youngest member of varsity football
he made it onto varsity his freshman year because he was so talented at the sport. by sophomore year he was the starting quarterback. truly believes he’s going to make history one day (he probably will), but the older members on the team tease him about it all the time. they call him the baby dinosaur because he’s the youngest, but he’s fierce on the field. the school hasn’t lost a single game since he’s been on the team. (except that one time he got benched for failing a physics test). seungcheol gave him hell for that and he never failed another test. he’s spent the most time in tutoring with wonwoo and mingyu.
65 Questions You Aren’t Used To
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
I don’t understand this question.
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
Two but I usually calm my anxiety by praying. It’s what’s in the dark that scares me.
3. The person you would never want to meet?
The Devil/Satan. Omg lemme go pray
4. What is your favorite word?
Compassion
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
Willow!!
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
“My scars are disappearing.”
7. What shirt are you wearing?
White with Chicago in bold purple letters written across it.
8. What do you label yourself as?
right now? Hungry. An EXO-L? A Christian? A girl? Pinoy?
9. Bright room or dark room?
Bright!! Hella bright. Open all the windows, let the light in!
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
On Twitter probably, or watching a Korean drama. I’m a boring person 😂
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
Hmm each year brings different joys!
12. Who told you they loved you last?
Verbally? My sister probably, but my parents tell me through their actions everyday
13. Your worst enemy?
People without compassion, dignity and a sense of humility and or intelligence. I hate them all. They plague a beautiful world.
14. What is your current desktop picture?
Painted flowers!
15. Do you like someone?
I do. I try not to, but I really do.
16. The last song you listened to?
Sonata for Violin and Piano No.1 in F minor
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Just because I can doesn’t mean I should. No one.
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Refer to question 13
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
Zyrene! We have a deal lololol. I’ll make her massage my back and feed my dogs and clean my house and cook for me and take me out to eat pero she has to pay and watch me eat. MWHAHAHAHAHA
20. What is your best physical attribute?
I really like my eyes like the shape! And my hair.
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
Lol. I’d look like a kpop idol. And I’d become either and actor or a singer!!
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
I can pick stuff up with my toes?
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
I don’t know man. I’m afraid of a lot of things that other people are afraid of
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
PHILLY CHEESE STEAK. I’m so basic bye
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
I found it? I’d try to see if it belonged to anyone. Next I’d put it in my savings, for my trip to Korea!
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Refer to 25. Second choice would be Japan to see my precious Mai.
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
I don’t drink man. Maybe, that sparkling grape juice you get during Christmas and thanksgiving.
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I’ve never been the leader type but maybe, you take what you give?
29. What is your favorite expletive?
?????? Is this an adult question
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
MY PHONE MAYBE COMPUTER? MY SISTER DIPLOMA OMG NO NO I GOT IT. Our legal papers like passports, citizenship stuff 😂 ya girl really needs those
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I don’t have one that sticks out. OH actually, my dad getting into a truck accident. That was harsh man.
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
???? I don’t see the question. But please refer to question 26
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Just because doesn’t mean we should. But I’d like to meet my older brother. He doesn’t have to stay here if he doesn’t want to.
34. What was your last dream about?
HOHO my neighbor and I were dating but I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM.
35. Are you a good listener? No, not really. Like naturally. I try to be though!
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Nope *knocks on wood*
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
YESS!
38. What is the color of your socks?
I’m not wearing any
39. What type of music do you like?
Kpop, indie, classical and sometimes r&b
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets, too lazy to wake up to watch sunrises
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
I don’t like milkshakes that much :/
42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)
I’m not a football fan
43. Do you have any scars?
I have many from accidents
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
You tell me. LOL
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Truthfully, I’d make the tip of my nose smaller! I also wish I was taller and skinnier. Pero, I’m very happy with my body.
46. Are you reliable?
Sometimes
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
Did he ever love you back?
48. Do you hold grudges?
Nah, not if I know you well.
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
MERMAID.
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
I have many with Jemimah and Aira
51. Are you a good liar?
No. Not at all
52. How long could you go without talking?
Pretty long
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
Blunt short cut and then I would add bangs by myself *cringe*
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
Yes
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
Yes
56. What do you like on your toast?
Butter though our toaster broke
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
These symbols for my story
58. What would be you dream car?
Mini cooper
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
I do! I don’t condition? Usually
60. Do you believe in aliens?
Eh not really.
61. Do you often read your horoscope?
Yes. I don’t believe them but they’re fun to read
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
U *winks* lOLOLOLOL I’m kidding. Probably D Or B or A
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
Dinosaurs cause theyre real
64. What do you think about babies?
Cute when you don’t have to take care of them
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. Nah I’m good
65 Questions You Aren’t Used To
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
Finally understand this lmao. I think sometimes life is a simulation or I have to remind myself that people are living their own lives.
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
Still the same LMAO maybe less? 1.5
3. The person you would never want to meet?
I thought this question said someone I would want to me and I was shocked at past me answer, but i support that + i don't think i would want to meet future me hahah
4. What is your favorite word?
Compassion? What was I in 2018? Uhhh. I'm not sure. Maybe Guzzi.
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
Willow is good, uhm but maybe a wisteria tree.
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
"It's Monday, do i have to go tot work?"
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Maaron/purple A&M shirt
8. What do you label yourself as?
right now? Tired and single LMAO.
9. Bright room or dark room?
Bright!! Hella bright. Open all the windows, let the light in!
^^
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping I got work TT
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
Hmm each year brings different joys!
I was such a sunshine in 2018. I think 18 was fun. But I think the best is yet to come <3.
12. Who told you they loved you last?
Verbally? My sister probably, but my parents tell me through their actions everyday
Cute~ but same~~~
13. Your worst enemy?
People without compassion, dignity and a sense of humility and or intelligence. I hate them all. They plague a beautiful world.
Bruh what was i.... a poet? philosopher? worst enemy? MYSELF HAHA.
14. What is your current desktop picture?
The MacBook air wallpaper of dunes that changes from dark to night
15. Do you like someone?
I do. I try not to, but I really do.
OHH. i wonder who it was?? DYLAN. but honestly my situation is still the same.
16. The last song you listened to?
Sonata for Violin and Piano No.1 in F minor
I was kinda quirky in 2018. Stray Kids playlist 8)
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Just because I can doesn’t mean I should. No one.
I mean Im not saying I would use it, but I'm not saying that there's someone in my head.
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Refer to question 13
Ok, so one of my coworkers who messed up my test,,, uhm cant think of anyone besides him.
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
Zyrene! We have a deal lololol. I’ll make her massage my back and feed my dogs and clean my house and cook for me and take me out to eat pero she has to pay and watch me eat. MWHAHAHAHAHA
LMAO PLEASE THIS ANSWER IS TOO FUNNY> Im not changing it. Add jemimah on here.
20. What is your best physical attribute?
I really like my eyes like the shape! And my hair.
I like these still ~~ and my confidence hehe
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
Lol. I’d look like a kpop idol. And I’d become either and actor or a singer!!
why did i think i would have the looks to make it as a kpop idol?? uhm i would idk,,,, see what the chismis is on the other side.
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
I can pick stuff up with my toes?
OMG i didn't even read this answer and my answer is still the same.
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
I don’t know man. I’m afraid of a lot of things that other people are afraid of
Heights?
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
PHILLY CHEESE STEAK. I’m so basic bye
Still the same <3 more mushrooms pls
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
I found it? I’d try to see if it belonged to anyone. Next I’d put it in my savings, for my trip to Korea!
IM SUCH A GOODIE TWO SHOES. but make sure its not like drug money? i would buy some airpods, maybe some boba? and flaunt that i found some money
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Refer to 25. Second choice would be Japan to see my precious Mai.
uuhh japan i think is one~
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
I don’t drink man. Maybe, that sparkling grape juice you get during Christmas and thanksgiving.
hmmmm vodka sunrise <3
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I’ve never been the leader type but maybe, you take what you give?
What I say goes <3
29. What is your favorite expletive?
?????? Is this an adult question
???? i still had to google just to make sure,,, hella? does that count
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
MY PHONE MAYBE COMPUTER? MY SISTER DIPLOMA OMG NO NO I GOT IT. Our legal papers like passports, citizenship stuff 😂 ya girl really needs those
NO LAL THE DOGS OH WAIT hmm, LEGAL papers~
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I don’t have one that sticks out. OH actually, my dad getting into a truck accident. That was harsh man.
I have forgotten that. UHM,,, maybe my first year of teaching LOLOL
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
???? I don’t see the question. But please refer to question 26
this isnt a question, but if i could move anywhere, why should i settle for one place?
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Just because doesn’t mean we should. But I’d like to meet my older brother. He doesn’t have to stay here if he doesn’t want to.
AW LAL TT uhm beside him, maybe MLK? maybe he can fix the world.
34. What was your last dream about?
HOHO my neighbor and I were dating but I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM.
LMAO why does this dream reoccur. I had one like this, this year. it was about church. Tita ttess was preaching and this old lady was getting to handsy and i swatted her awa.
35. Are you a good listener?
No, not really. Like naturally. I try to be though!
I'm actually better now.
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Nope *knocks on wood*
Still no *continuing to knock on wood*
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
YESS!
Yesss the snow when I was in college was insane.
38. What is the color of your socks?
I’m not wearing any
Still not wearing any~
39. What type of music do you like?
Kpop, indie, classical and sometimes r&b
^^ pretty much the same. NCT, Stray kids, uhhh exo, MX~
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets, too lazy to wake up to watch sunrises
I like both (-:
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
I don’t like milkshakes that much :/
Im kinda lactose intolerant now, but oreo~
42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)
I’m not a football fan
i went to a football schoool, so.... A&M?
43. Do you have any scars?
I have many from accidents
Yuh on my knees
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
You tell me. LOL
LANDOAISDN an engineer? rich~ reITRED!!!!
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Truthfully, I’d make the tip of my nose smaller! I also wish I was taller and skinnier. Pero, I’m very happy with my body.
^^ SAME, maybe a smaller head?
46. Are you reliable?
Sometimes
Just say no LAL LOLOL
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
Did he ever love you back?
Girl no. Get a hold of yourself and your delusions.
But for my future future self, did you ever get the guts? AHA
48. Do you hold grudges?
Nah, not if I know you well.
nah, unless ure that one coworker
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
MERMAID.
this is a solid answer old me.
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
I have many with Jemimah and Aira
still true~
51. Are you a good liar?
No. Not at all
my nose gives it away
52. How long could you go without talking?
Pretty long
i like talking lately but i think i can still say pretty long
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
Blunt short cut and then I would add bangs by myself *cringe*
^^ nothing beats this
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
Yes
still yus?
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
Yes
i feel like i have a few good accents
56. What do you like on your toast?
Butter though our toaster broke
we got a new toaster, but i don't like toast lmao
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
These symbols for my story
a line?
58. What would be you dream car?
Mini cooper
A GWAGON
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
I do! I don’t condition? Usually
I dont sing, i perform~ and all is still true
60. Do you believe in aliens?
Eh not really.
could be possible
61. Do you often read your horoscope?
Yes. I don’t believe them but they’re fun to read
maybe i slight believe them now but not really
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
U *winks* lOLOLOLOL I’m kidding. Probably D Or B or A
LMAO, please stop flirtin. D FOR DYLAN B for BETHEL A for ALEX CHUNG
i dont have one~
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
Dinosaurs cause theyre real
Bruh? Dragons omg. I gotta watch the new HBO SHOW
64. What do you think about babies?
Cute when you don’t have to take care of them
I want some in a few years
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.
The seas churned with thousands of shades of cerulean and seafoam against the white marble cliffs of Pheia Elis. Down the white sands of the beach, a lone figure stood at the water’s end. His eyes stared gazed at the never-ending horizon of the crystal sea. The swell of the ocean was mesmerizing. It moved as if each wave was a breath—back and forth it went. The water teased at his feet, getting close but never touching. The ocean was afraid for he was the prince of the sea. The waves that flirted along the coast did not dare touch him unless he commanded so. That was the fate of Prince Caius, Prince of Pheia Elis, the heir to the throne of the water queen.
Jaehyun used to open the windows in the morning. He always got up before me. Not because he was a morning person, far from that, but he always had something in the morning. When you came down from the stairs, there would be streams of morning sunlight streaming through the windows.
Jaehyun would always have these little cakes he had brought home from his North American tour. He kept them in a wicker basket in the kitchen. He never ate any, only me, but he always kept it full. I always wondered how he got the strangely addicting foreign snack.
At night, you could hear music playing from Jaehyun’s old record player in his room. It was usually terrible mainstream music with an occasional good song. On bad days,though, he would play my favorite songs.
When it rained, Jaehyun’s would alway have seaweed soup. He didn’t particularly like seaweed soup, and I didn’t either. The soup wasn’t that great either. It was from a local convenience store. I always found it strange, but I didn’t complain.
Jaehyun never did the big things. He never planned dates to the ocean, or to watch the stars. It scared me, like a cloud of doubt constantly looming over me. But when he left I started noticing the little things. No, I started to miss the little things. The dark mornings, empty baskets, and quiet nights were constant reminders of his affections or lack thereof. It was my first rainy day alone when I remembered the rainy day in a convenience store where I met Jaehyun trying to buy some seaweed soup.
Before we dive into the glamour and destruction of a pirate’s life, it’s important to establish and difference between the crews who operated the seven seas in the 1700s.
PIRATES
A group of men who robbed and plundered the sea, but also committed felonies, robberies and murders in any haven, river or creek where the Lord High Admiral had jurisdiction.
The Lord High of Admiral = The ceremonial head of the Royal Navy (also known as someone who appears to be in charge, but holds very little influence, like most monarchs today)
Jurisdiction: The official power to make legal decisions and judgements
BUCCANEER
Pirates who preyed on Spanish ships and ports in the Caribbean Sea. To Spain, they were nothing more than ordinary pirates, but for their nations, they were much more than that.
Spain strived to keep all their possessions from the rest of the world, and the rise of buccaneers came apparent when the English occupied Jamaica, which provided them with a base to attack Spanish settlements.
CORSAIRS
Pirates (and privateers) who operated in North Africa. Their base primarily in the ports of Salé, Rabat, Algiers, Tunis, and Tripoli.
(also referred to as: barbary pirates, barbary corsairs or ottoman corsairs)
PRIVATEER
An armed vessel, consisting of a commander and his crew, who was licensed to attack, seize and loot ships of hostile nations.
The license was issued in form of a document, which was called the Letter of Marque (and Reprisal, LOMAR for short). The letter was written in ponderous legal phrases, and decorated with an elaborate pen and ink flourishes.
The Captain, or commander, of the ship, was expected to keep a journal, as well as hand over ships to the Admiralty court to be assessed and valued. A proportion of the ship’s value went to the sovereign, while the rest was divided between the owners of the ship, the captain, and his crew.
Admiralty court: jurisdiction over maritime law, including cases regarding shipping, ocean, and sea laws
Sovereign: king, queen, or other royal ruler of a country
An authorized privateer, and get this, was recognized by law, and could not be prosecuted for piracy, which in turn caused the system to be wide open for abuse, and most privateers were nothing more than licensed pirates.
Privateers, in simpler words, were basically pirates with papers. They were hired to carry out military activities, and in many ways, their actions mirrored a pirate’s, only difference being, they couldn’t be prosecuted for the crimes they committed.
Also, fun fact! In the 1700s, also known as the golden era of piracy, 98% of the men operating as pirates in the Caribbean and western Atlantic, had formerly either been seamen in the merchant service, the Royal Navy, or even served as privateers.
Not every man suffered the same fate, however. Captain Woodes Rogers, a former privateer, became the first Royal Governor over the Bahamas, and was tasked with the dangerous mission of establishing a well-organized government, that would force every last pirate in the Nassau to surrender. [x]
Today, both privateer and buccaneer are being used as a synonym for pirates, but it’s important to know that in the golden era, they were not the same.
Jaehyun used to open the windows in the morning. He always got up before me. Not because he was a morning person, far from that, but he always had something in the morning. When you came down from the stairs, there would be streams of morning sunlight streaming through the windows.
Jaehyun would always have these little cakes he had brought home from his North American tour. He kept them in a wicker basket in the kitchen. He never ate any, only me, but he always kept it full. I always wondered how he got the strangely addicting foreign snack.
At night, you could hear music playing from Jaehyun’s old record player in his room. It was usually terrible mainstream music with an occasional good song. On bad days,though, he would play my favorite songs.
When it rained, Jaehyun’s would alway have seaweed soup. He didn’t particularly like seaweed soup, and I didn’t either. The soup wasn’t that great either. It was from a local convenience store. I always found it strange, but I didn’t complain.
Jaehyun never did the big things. He never planned dates to the ocean, or to watch the stars. It scared me, like a cloud of doubt constantly looming over me. But when he left I started noticing the little things. No, I started to miss the little things. The dark mornings, empty baskets, and quiet nights were constant reminders of his affections or lack thereof. It was my first rainy day alone when I remembered the rainy day in a convenience store where I met Jaehyun trying to buy some seaweed soup.
There’s a door with a single key hole - it will open regardless of what key is used. All keys open this door, but what’s on the other side, however, entirely depends on the key.
He stood there. He had gotten taller. He had grown out his hair. He used to always keep it short, saying that he hated it when his hair fell in front of his eyes during training. But there he was with hair between his gray eyes. They seemed grayer or maybe I had the illusions that the years passed between them was as painful as they were for me. Yes, maybe that was it.
Once he stood in front of me. A distant, but close memory in my heart. It was a rocky terrain much like this, but between the crevices grew small lilac-colored flowers. I had fallen attempting to keep up with him. When I looked up, there he stood in front of me, chuckling with a big grin and his arm extended.
Now, the land was barren with no lilac flowers between the rocks. But still, there he stood. He stood there across the battlefield heavily cladded with steel, and instead of his extended arms, it was a sword pointed to me.
