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@better-run-rabbit-run
Some say that the Black Rabbit hates us and wants our destruction. But the truth is — or so they taught me — that he, too, serves Lord Frith and does no more than his appointed task.
-Richard Adams, Watership Down
…
Back on my bullshit, y’all. I missed ya
abunchoffuckos:
This scout is a team-mate, therefore, logically, Stian must like her – but goodness, she’s hard to have a conversation with! chat.exe only runs properly if there’s actual words to respond to; when all he’s got is [vulgar] he has to purposefully dedicate conscious operating power to the interaction, which is super annoying, especially when he’s trying to do something else, like find a door on the ceiling.
He looks over at her and waits the couple of milliseconds it takes his HUD to update since she’s changed positions while he wasn’t looking. That’s her on the floor, now, in a strange position for some reason. Did she damage her foot kicking the door? It’s mean to think that’s funny, but he totally thinks that’s funny. “Well,” he says, “how did that make you feel?”
“Eat shit!”
It doesn’t occur to Tess that the Spy could be doing anything but mocking her with that question. What else could he possibly mean by it?!
Anyway she’s had enough broken bones to be able to tell that her foot probably isn’t, so Tess sits up and scoots herself against the wall to sulk and glare at her unwanted elevator companion. He’s as much a victim in this as she is, but there’s nobody else around to take her anger out on.
“Well this is just fuckin’ great. Why’d I hafta get stuck in here with you? Shoulda taken th’ fuckin’ stairs.” The Scout grumpily rests her chin on her crossed arms, before suddenly sitting up straight again. “Hey th’ air in in here ain’t gonna run out, is it?”
@iculltheweak
end of holiday funk got me the past couple days (plus my sister gave me Okami for christmas and I was playing the hell out of that at the expense of everything else lol) but I wanna try and reply to threads and junk!!!
apropos of nothing look at this excellent bitmoji rendition of me and my cat
end of holiday funk got me the past couple days (plus my sister gave me Okami for christmas and I was playing the hell out of that at the expense of everything else lol) but I wanna try and reply to threads and junk!!!
"Don't worry, I can make the bodies disappear."
Miss Pauling, from Team Fortress 2 // loved by ariel
how dull for you to live your life without any hills to die on, you, on your vast flat barren plains of compromise, acceptance, and accommodation, while I reign supreme over the lush, rolling highlands of stupid shit I have irrationally chosen to stake my entire identity on
🎁🎁🎁
oh god so the level of panic Tess would fly into when the concept even occurred to her (which she’d probably do like... today, probably. like the 23rd.) that maybe she might possibly should probably get Miss P something (probably several hours after Miss P gave her something no doubt lovely and thoughtful because of course she did) is very funny to me
and then like what to get her would be hard because Miss P deserves something nice and Tess isn’t... the best at understanding what that is so yeah lol
jewelry??? is it weird to get her jewelry???? probably???????
in the end she probably settles on getting her one of those fancy glass paperweights, which she leaves on her desk when she’s not there. she definitely did not steal it shhh.
🎁 :3c
Sebastian is already suspicious that gender is fake, but he is under the impression that etiquette requires one’s holiday gifts be chosen from the explicitly-labeled “holiday gift” selection. Therefore, while he’s not limiting himself to the “For Her” shelves, he is limiting himself to those generic racks. He ends up getting the Scout a “For Her” gift anyway: a set of bubblegum-scented bath products with a pack of actual bubblegum in there with the soap and bubble bath. He asks his cousin whether giving someone soap is insulting as it implies they need to bathe, gets a wishy-washy answer, and smiles pleasantly to himself as he wraps it up and tops it with a bow. I’m sorry about him.
Tess 100% DOES interprit this as being told she smells and is lowkey baffled/offended at the concept of bubblegum scented bath stuff at all but she does chew the gum
this might be her excuse for the rock or it might just be because she’s terrible and mean
🎁 for anybody
Yarrow: a six pack of beer she shoplifted and the “gift” of hanging around and smoking a joint with him
Stian: a snowball with a rock in it in the back of the head before RUNNING.
Send me “🎁” to see what my muse would give yours as a Christmas present.
yo dudes!
unsurprisingly I’ll be in and out the next few days what with crimmus and fambly shit and all, but I have threads saved and will get to them when I have down time/brain power! love you all, happy holidays if you celebrate something and joyous late december if you don’t!
bleedxngxms:
Skates? In this ankle-breaking environment? Ah well, none of his business. Not like he could even start off on that topic, his own foolishness ended up costing a foot so she could learn on her own or be smart. Grunting the worn out RED pulled out a small metal flip lighter that had seen better days and flicked it alight. Leaning as far down as they could go he offered it over with a slightly weary glance.
“Do I even wanna know?”
“Prolly not, ain’t like it’s much of a story.” Tess takes the lighter and flicks at it, quickly lighting up and slumping back against the wall. “There’s this Demo over on BLU, right, fuckin’ hates my guts, set up her bombs just right so I’d skate over ‘em n’ nearly blew m’ feet off.”
She exhales peevishly, waving away the resultant cloud of smoke.
“Fuckin’ jokes on her. Didn’t get got but I do gotta bust my ass fixin’ up my wheels.”
@better-run-rabbit-run || cont.
Maci frowns at the girl, doubt plastered across her face.
“Still, couldn’t hurt t’ take a second…”
She places her other hand on the girl’s opposite shoulder, a little more firm than before, and tries to steady the swaying of the other. Maci feels somewhat responsible for the girl’s run in with the sapling- likely due to the fact that, well, she is.
“So that uh, tree. Came outta nowhere, huh?”
Tess reaches to grip both the other girl’s upper arms, and grins at her rather loopily.
“Seriously babe, I’m goooood...” Actually, when she’s being forced to hold steady like this, it only makes her more aware of how much her head is spinning. She tries to focus on Maci, blinks at her, looks her up and down, and slowly smiles again. “Hey, you this pretty when I don’t gotta concussion?”
At the mention of the tree she’d hit, Tess turns her head to look at it like she’s just remembering it’s still there, still holding onto Maci’s arm for support.
“Yeah it did. It was... kinda fuckin’ weird, actually, coulda sworn it wasn’t there a second ago...”
@better-run-rabbit-run || cont
The taller girl rolls her eyes, keeping the pace up as she walks away from the shorter one. Honestly, she couldn’t care less if someone caught her walk of shame from the night before- but the prodding from the wannabe baby punk yipping at her heels is becoming grating.
“What’s it to you, gremlin?”
Max stops short, wheeling around to frown deeply at her.
“Your boyfriend live there or something?”
“Just think it’s funny, is all. You know they gotta door, right?”
Tess increases her pace, practically skipping as she pulls up alongside Max. Her day had been a particularly boring one until Max had shown up, and there’s few things Tess enjoys more than bothering someone that annoys her. Even that little jab she throws only gets the smug grin to drop from Tess’ face for a moment.
“Ha! Gross, no, can you imagine?” Tess snorts and waves her hand. “Every one of ‘em a different flavor of ‘Not Worth It’.”
psst if you’ve recently been followed by @sister-goldenhair-surprise that’s my hippie cyborg Willie, I’mma try to fix her blog back up soon. it’s all Fallout right now but she started in TF2 rp as a BLU Engie and has some other verses besides so she’d be open for lots of stuff!
:U follow her she’s probably my nicest character
@better-run-rabbit-run
“Fuckin’ excuse you?!”
This is turning out to the the worst fucking day. All Tess had wanted to do after the battle was raid the kitchen and maybe find somebody to bum a smoke off of, but now something’s going on. Somewhere in the base an alarm is blaring, made all the more distressing by the fact that everything else, lights and all, seems to have been shut down. The Scout goes around most days wound like a spring, and she’s got an active imagination.
So it’s got to be some sort of punishment from God for what she did at midnight mass that one Christmas or something that currently the worst thing happening to Tess is standing next to her in a suit in this fucking stuck elevator. And it’s being condescending.
Somebody up there has to hate her for something.
“Well fuck you ginger minge, didn’t ask for your input anyway!” She whirls away from the upsetting sight that encompasses Stian’s entire… thing and again faces the elevator door like she’s about to challenge it to a fight. “I’m gonna kick it down!”
“Is that a good idea?” Stian asks automatically. The definition of minge just tags it as “vulgar”; even after fiddling with every override he can access, it seems like his dictionary files are just expurgated, so it’s good that he doesn’t want to use naughty words in the first place, but it is annoying when half the things out of people’s mouths are “vulgar” and nothing more.
She said she’s going to kick down – the door, most likely. Stian doesn’t have a lot of technical information about elevators, but he does know some things that should be useful to him to know, such as that her actions will be pointless if they’re between floors right now. Letting her do it probably shouldn’t compromise their safety, either; it’s not a load-bearing door. Therefore, he can ignore her.
The power is off except for the emergency lights set into the corners where the floors meet the walls, so he can’t do anything with the little computer who operates the elevator, or is the elevator, depending on how you, or more importantly, how it feels about it. (There are days when he himself feels more like he is the entire individual and other days when he feels more like he is the computer who operates the meat suit, so he certainly won’t make that decision for anyone else!) He has another piece of information about elevators, though: there’s usually a trap door in the ceiling through which one can escape. The Scout can open a door to look at a wall; the Spy is looking at the ceiling to open a door.
“Fuck you!”
Tess’ voice is high and sharp in that teetering-on-the-edge-of-panic way, and she’d probably snap at Stian no matter what he said at this point. She’s not exactly thinking logically, either.
Look, it’s not that she’s afraid of tight spaces, she just doesn’t like them, and she especially doesn’t like being stuck in one with this guy, the creepiest Spy on RED. Tess can’t put her finder on it, but there’s just something weird about him. What is his deal?
Anyway, her foot’s already in the air and she’s past the point of thinking. Tess kicks the door as hard as she can, and three things happen; there’s a loud, metallic bang, Tess falls over, and the door absolutely fails to do anything but acquire a dent.
“Motherfucker!” The Scout grabs at her foot, wincing.
