Hasta La Vista, Bitches

itz, 23 • istp • california • chicken nugget eater, margarita drinker

[fmidy-deactivated20200727]

I could fall asleep w u in my arms rn or we could fuck on a table.

Down for whatever.

[alivedean]

sylvie + text posts

[allforbeeb]

If you consider yourself body positive,

please support bodies even if they fall outside of your preferences

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

favorite part of the witcher is seeing all these self-identified heterosexual men on twitter thirsting over henry cavill.  put henry cavill in tight leather pants and suddenly a lot of men are learning something about themselves

[straightupsapphic]

stop leaving the best parts in the tags

[sockdrawerdemon]

Sliding fuckability scale:

1. Henry Cavill as Superman. Very Good and clean. Utterly unfuckable.

2. Henry Cavill as cold war era spy in Man From U.N.C.L.E. Less morally upstanding, quite clean. Attractive but not sexy.

3. Henry Cavill as a CIA Assassin Mission Impossible. Kills people, some scruff but still groomed. Fuckable.

4. Henry Cavill as Geralt. Morally grey, absolutely filthy. Peak Fuckablity.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I’m honestly not even surprised by this revelation

[everythingfox]

Penguins going down the stairs

(via)

[wtf-jax]

MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU DON’T GIVE A *whispers quietly so my parents can’t hear me* frick

[siacherry]

*POLICE SIRENS*

[mutecrows]

*HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING*

[saltyhealer-deactivated20170126]

[gavin screaming]

[piginapoke]

who the fuck is Gavin

[lovely-blue-galaxy]

Idk but he sounds pretty upset

[heritage-post]

date of origin: October 11th, 2013

[nemnuong]

explain: why are titties so soft????

titties are near the heart so they are full of love

[sentrysvoid]

Din Djarin + removing his helmet

[pochacco]

i am stupid for free. no one pays me to be this stupid and i think that’s very brave

[junkfoodcinemas]

Last Night In Soho (2021) dir. Edgar Wright

[manny-jacinto]

“There is a bit of a luxury to experiencing this amount of exposure not as a young man,” he said. “Because at this point, whether I like it or not, for better or worse…I am who I am.” - Pedro Pascal

[stevenrogered]

James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes: certified nerd

[futw]

Eiza González as Darling in Baby Driver (2017)

[marveladdicts]

[netbug009]

This seems like an exaggeration until you actually work in fast food.

[popsunner]

Things that happened at work today that makes me sure I’m living a goddamn fever dream (keep in mind I live in a religious and conservative town, and this is a thrift store)

Lady asked where we keep our valuable items and when I pointed at the glass shelves of assorted Xbox 1’s and old Apple watches she got mad because she thought we would have “discounted Gucci”

Coworker came out today and changed their name and my manager tried to page them to the front by their dead name, paused for two seconds, said “cancel [deadname]” and then called them up by their actual name. All seven gay employees including me cried so she panicked and bought us cookies from the vending machine

A guy legit proposed to his girlfriend in the store and my manager gave them half off the wedding dress they bought ten minutes later.

A guy came in absolutely zooted, asked if our floor supervisor was Bob Ross (tbf, Albert does kinda look like Bob Ross), cried over a little cow statue, and left

The coworker who came out asked the only cishet guy who works here to welcome them to the skater boys. He went over the store wide speaker and said “Sodern is a part of the skater boys. Everyone clap” it was followed by a good twenty seconds of confused clapping from customers.

Some guy told me I have “exotic eyes” (they’re blue), and I, apparently too tired to remember what customer service is or think about what I was saying, responded “thanks it’s the incest”

Someone called the fire department because they saw someone vaping. The fire department was very nice and all bought matching t-shirts on their way out.

Our speaker is apparently connected to Bluetooth.

All Star by Smash Mouth started playing at 8pm and looped on repeat for an hour.

[marlynnofmany]

This all happened in one day??  What kind of crazy sitcom do you live in?

[gangueiro]

[transviktortalis]

#oh this place is HAUNTED haunted

[onlinegf2-deactivated20160818]

send me your best pick up line

[onlinegf2-deactivated20160818]