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[betultanrikurt]

ADOBE

Learning design was supposed to be aesthetic. Right !?

I really thought this whole thing would look like pinterest boards and clean portfolios. Soft music in the background, smooth workflows, everything just clicking into place.It’s not like that!!

Premiere timeline looks like a disaster. Cuts don’t align, audio is off, and somehow everything feels wrong even when it shouldn’t. I spend more time fixing tiny mistakes than actually creating something. Photoshop is just… layers on layers on layers. Nothing is where it’s supposed to be.

         zoom in, zoom out, undo, redo.

Sometimes i don’t even remember what i was trying to do in the first place. And illustrator? Why is it so hard to draw a simple shape?

No one really talks about this part. The messy middle. The frustration. The feeling of “I should be better at this by now. Somehow, I'm still doing it.

[betultanrikurt]

Group Project

Hi everyone,

We have another group project, but this time it's not a classic project; the whole class is involved. It feels more like being inside a game, where you make choices and each choice leads you to a different outcome. It sounds creative and fun, but once you start working on it, it gets complicated because in this kind of project, everyone imagines the system differently.

One person’s idea of the flow doesn’t match another’s. Some want it to be simple and clear, while others want a more complex structure with many branches. This makes it really hard to build a shared story and flow. If you were working alone, you could organize all these possibilities in your own way but since the whole class is involved, everyone tries to add their own ideas and logic.

As a result, the structure can feel messy or too complicated.the hardest part is that everyone is actually doing something right, but when all these ideas come together, nothing feels completely “right.” instead of a unified system, it becomes a mix of different perspectives.

[betultanrikurt]

INCENDIES

Watched incendies last night and somehow i feel both impressed and conflicted about it. The pool scene really shocked me. It comes out of nowhere and suddenly the film shifts into something much heavier.

However, the beginning felt pretty disconnected the story jumps around a lot and i couldn’t fully connect with the characters at first so it kept me at a distance.

Everything comes together towards the end and it does it powerfully but the fact that it takes so long kind of pulled me out of the film.

And that ending… It just stops

After thinking about it maybe that disjointed feeling was intentional since the story itself is fragmented but still, it made it harder to watch.

anyway, I guess i’ll feel like this for a while.

[betultanrikurt]

RE-EDITING

This semester’s midterm project was to choose a film and create a trailer from its scenes in a completely different genre. When I first heard about it, the idea caught my interest because I think a film does not have a fixed meaning; it can actually be rewritten through editing. In my opinion, what a scene makes you feel is often more about how it is presented than the scene itself. That’s why, when starting the project, I began looking at films from different genres. Especially films with a strong emotional tone seemed more suitable for this kind of transformation.

For example, The Shining is a film strongly associated with horror and tension. However, when its scenes are handled with different music and editing, the same images can create a more absurd or ironic effect. Especially the character’s facial expressions and the use of space provide a suitable ground for transitions between genres.

This project shows how flexible a film’s genre can actually be. When elements such as music, editing rhythm, and scene selection change, the emotion conveyed to the audience also changes completely. Also, re-editing an existing film was a bit more difficult than I expected.

[betultanrikurt]

XOXO Gossip Girl 💋

Hi everyone, today’s blog is about a show I’ve been obsessed with lately and that has somehow stayed relevant over the years: Gossip Girl.

Watching it, I keep noticing something: this show isn’t just about rich kids playing games. It forces you to observe, to notice, and sometimes, whether you like it or not, to admire. The Upper East Side is a stage, everyone playing their part. And we judge them, but at the same time, we compare it to our own lives.

Watching Blair Waldorf always makes me feel this: where you’re born, what you have, and the codes you know… sometimes it decides everything. Outsiders like Dan Humphrey notice the gap more clearly as they realize it or try to fit in.

And here’s the bridge to today: social media, influencer culture, the constant need to be seen. All recreate this world. Being visible equals power. Being followed, talked about, noticed… It’s a measure of value. Just like in the Upper East Side.

But the show also reminds us that being in this system is a choice. You either learn the rules and play, or you watch the game unfold. And the weirdest thing is, while watching, you both criticize and—whether you admit it or not—desire it. The parties, the outfits, the lifestyle.

Maybe the most unsettling but realistic thing about Gossip Girl is this: as we get lost in our little Upper East Sides, the show is just holding up a mirror. And when you look into it, you realize that what you see is often an illusion.

But I’ve realized, even illusions can be tempting.

[betultanrikurt]

Hannibal’s Manipulation

When I watched Hannibal, at some point I started to feel that the show is less about murder and more about manipulation. The bodies are there, of course, but they almost feel like decoration compared to what is really happening. What really disturbed me was watching how Hannibal Lecter slowly manipulates Will Graham.

In the first season I kept asking myself why Hannibal helps Will find the killers. He gives him clues, guides him, and sometimes even pushes him toward the truth. At first it looks like help, but the more I think about it, the more it feels like control. Hannibal is not really helping. He is shaping the investigation. He decides what people notice and what they ignore. He controls the direction while appearing cooperative. The part that affected me the most is Will’s illness. Will is actually physically sick, which causes hallucinations and confusion, and Hannibal clearly realizes this. He could diagnose it and help him, but he chooses not to. Instead, he lets Will believe that his problem is psychological. Watching this felt like seeing someone slowly lose trust in their own mind. Will spends most of the first season questioning himself and thinking he might be the problem, and that is exactly where Hannibal’s manipulation works best. Later Will begins to realize the truth and understands that he was manipulated and that his illness was ignored on purpose, but by then the damage is already done.

What I find most unsettling is that Hannibal’s goal does not seem to be only committing murders. It feels like he wants to push Will’s limits and blur the line between good and bad for him. He keeps placing Will in situations that force him to confront his own darker side. This makes me wonder whether Hannibal truly changes Will or if he simply exposes something that was already there. Either way, the first season feels less like a typical crime story to me and more like watching one mind slowly take control over another, very patiently and very quietly, while pretending to help.