Their own shirt was already peeled off as they crouched on the edge of the water. Holding it in their hands as they tried to wash the last couple days of dirt and sweat from it. And they intended to do the same for the other couple pieces they had collected around the new camp that were piled beside them. It wasn’t everything, shit– probably wasn’t even close to everything. But they liked having something to do, and feeling a little cleaner might make people feel better about their new camp. Head raised as Bev spoke, looking from her to the water, as a small laugh escaped them at her phrasing. “ Nah, I’m good, ” They said, “ Rats fucking in a sock heat aside,” They added on, amused smile coming to their lips as they were pretty certain they hadn’t repeated the phrase correctly. Though the waterfall was probably a lot more forgiving than the ocean, toes and hands were their limit for just now. “ Don’t let me stop you though, ” They assured, paired with a quick, friendly, pursed smile. A small beat passed before a thought occurred to them. “ Toss me your shirt, ” They held out their hand to catch, if Bev did decide to throw it, “ I’m doing laundry anyway. ”
**
Bev giggled when Jenny tried to re-word the phrase that was popular back home, new yorkers had to have their own sayings right? Or is it just whatever people shout at cabs in movies. “Does it get real hot in New York? With all the asphalt and people there?” Sometimes Bev wondered what it’d be like if it was a different city or state that had the most people, what if it was Alabama? “Oh, thanks!” She happily tossed it over to Jenny, with surprisingly good aim. “Let me know if you want help with all that.” It was nice of Jenny to offer to Bev wanted to be nice back, plus no need to get at Shane’s wrath by relaxing while her love worked on the laundry.
She felt the water, at least a little cooler than the warm air around on her feet first and relaxed into it as the water level rose on her. It wasn’t quite as relaxing to have an uneven rock surface on her back, not like a private pool she was fantasizing about. “You ever watch those like, survival reality shows? Like, Survivor or Naked and Afraid or whatever? I used to watch Survivor with my m-” Bev stopped, a mom memory, no need to bring that witch up. “my like, family and I always knew I always assumed i’d be like, bitch with heat stroke, medic’d out after a week but like, this is way longer than I imagined.” It was sort of neat though it wasn’t lost on her that it was really the group who had been keeping each other going.
“I’d kill it on like, Are You the One? Or some like, pool sipping, booze having makeout show. What about you? Like, if you had to.” Jenny did not seem like the type to want a camera in their face but for the sake of the hypothetical, which Bev enjoyed Jenny’s creative mind answering, they’d have to ignore that.”
Joss was combing her fingers through her hair mindlessly, in an effort, albeit mostly in vain, to tame it so that she might be able to pull it into somewhat of a neat bun and away from her face and neck. She didn’t like the humidity in the jungle, she felt like she was sweating more now than she had on the beach or even in the cave and she just felt sticky. Always sticky.
“What the fuck?” she said out loud as her fingers snagged on a knot in her long hair and pulled out a clump of strands as she pulled them away. She stared at the hair for a moment or so before shaking it off of her hand and letting it fall to the ground, “Great,” she chimed, “My roots are showing, my skin is falling off, I’ve got a break out on my chin and now I’m going fucking bald- next my bloody teeth are going to fall out,” she whined, frustrated with the week’s events and the unpleasantness of their new camp’s locations. “I’m so over this,” she muttered to herself.
She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself and moved closer to the center of camp then,
bev’s interest peaked when she heard a tension in jocelyn’s voice, wondering what the latest conflict could be. however, as she listened in to the other’s complaints, she couldn’t help but feel some sympathy for her. “babe, you’re gorgeous.” she nodded as she reassured the other. “hell, i really wish i hadn’t done theses like blonde streaks before we ended from a salon.” she made her way over to the other one. “look, we’re all sunburnt and shit, but im sure like modern medicine or whatever can take care of like what’s going on with us so by the time we get that magazine cover, we’ll be fucking smokin’.”
she couldn’t contain her excitement at jocelyn’s request, what better way to bond a bit more and focus on something that wasn’t so bear grylls. “sure, i could give it a shot, what type of braid are you thinking?”
the day had been a hot one, the ocean avoided reaching out to the shore and bev felt a large sense of regret for arriving to this vacation in pants, and that someone with better fashion sense hadn't had their bag wash up. it took a lot of self restraint for bev not to down all the water in her posession. beyond all the work that it took to maintain their survival, the wondering about her journal and all the dynamics of those around her was also exhausting, kind of.
as she stood for a moment in awe of the waterfall and the way the sun made everything sparkle, she was glad that she didn't travel there alone. "so, i'm going for a swim, it is hotter than like two rats fucking in a wool sock. you in?" she grabbed at the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head, hoping that the water was at least cooler than the hot air all around.
open starter @wildshub
when: day 18
where: wherever the new camp is being set up
her head was pounding and she had regretted the previous night immensely. but in spite of the pain and the soreness and the overwhelming laziness, she was up on her feet and grabbing anything and everything that seemed even remotely useful. this island was full of surprises, and zoya seemed to have grown used to it. she wasn’t feeling overwhelmed, or out of place, she was just…onto the next thing.
following the others into the woods, she wondered if this was their way of accepting their faith. accepting that they needed to make something more permanent for themselves. she didn’t want to follow those thoughts too far in, but she did act as if they were real - as if that’s exactly what was happening right now.
“hey…” she’ll say softly with a warm smile on as she approached the other, settling beside them. “gets dark quicker out here…the trees an’ all, i’m guessing.” zoya had a tendency to start conversations with an observation. “i want to cuddle, may i?” she scoots closer and asks permission before resting her head on the other. “i’m tired.”
bev had always been an physically affectionate person, it was one of the reasons that she felt like people weren't always able to tell if she was into them as friends or more. between her dad's forehead kisses, her nephews toddler hugs and high fives, and even her sister's playfully messing up her hair, there was so much of home that was out of reach that zoya's request came like a present to bev. "of course, babe!" she excitedly moved closer to zoya too, they got along well enough and bev liked how zoya spoke freely. it certainly made things less boring for them. "you wanna rest your head on my lap?"
she wasn't quite tired enough to fall asleep, and a part of her was pretty curious what the insomniacs actually chatted about when everyone else was dozing off that she didn't mind being able to watch over her friends while zoya relaxed on her. "i think i really missed touch. like, i don't know if that's super weird to say or whatever but...maybe that's my love language. what do you think yours is?"
open starter: @wildshub
when: day 18, high tide time babey
where: beach, erin returning from the waterfall
Erin was distracted, completely. People’s words from the last few days, especially drunken words from last night, seemed to be on a constant repeat in her head. She wanted to let it go, she wanted to just move on and, like, be happy– or whatever the fuck she’d been doing the first 12 days on the island. But she couldn’t. She hadn’t noticed when she’d left in the very very early morning (arguably still the middle of the night to some) that the tide had started moving up the beach. At least, not more than it did every night. Not enough for Erin to predict what was to come. She was a pool lifeguard after all, not a beach lifeguard.
The long walk to the waterfall and back, with as many bottles as she could carry in two far from pristine Dawn of Eve drawstring backpacks, had felt like what she needed. It was something useful, something she had to return to camp with, and it allowed her the time in nature to reconnect with herself. Think out as many of the negative thoughts on rotation in her head as she possibly could. But when she caught the first glance of the beach through the trees, she realised she was wrong. She was so fucking wrong.
She dropped the bags, forward thinking enough to realise they would only weigh her down and she’d need to drag them off the beach again anyway, before she ran. Hurrying to the cave, where the tide was starting to seep in, some where awake already. “ Come on, come on! The water! ” The moment she saw the red bag of the first aid kit, she reached for it. That was their most important possession. The couldn’t lose it. Where the hell was the lighter? And, Jesus, should she have left the water bottles and brought the bags? Didn’t matter, she reached for anything she could, shoving it into the red kanken that had all of Jill’s stuff in it. “ We’ve gotta move, like now. ” She said, trying to keep her voice calm but it had to be obvious she wasn’t. She was panicked, scared, perhaps even a little guilty for leaving again. Even if it had been for water.
bev had been sleeping soundly in the cave after a night of some laughs, some drama aka a successful party in her eyes. she wasnt as wasted as some of the others but something about the energy around her was enough to have her off to dreamland. erin's voice came through in her dream and it took a moment for her to realize that there was some urgency in her voice. bev's eyes shot open as she turned her head to see the water seeping in. "oh shit." bev said as she rose, grabbing whatever supplies she could, including her journal and tapped on any bodies that weren't awake yet.
"hey wake the fuck up babes, we're leaving." she called out to the cave, maybe she wasn't as organized as erin but louder? probably. "follow erin." she instructed again, while balancing whatever she could in her arms. "you got the first aid kit, thanks." she mentioned to erin, it was clearly a resource that bev wasn't the best suited for, she didn't have the sort of knowledge that izzy and erin had but she hoped she proved herself valuable in the past. "where do you think we should head?"
it had seemed kinda weird to bev that this spa wanted an intro video but she figured that was pretty generous since they were flying her out, so who cares if they want to use her gorgeous face for their promo or whatever. she had a quiet moment after she dropped her friend greta off (making sure to mention her own upcoming spa getaway since greta was annoying about those concert tickets) so since the sun was doing something wonderful with the lighting, bev took a seat on the hood of her car, whose radio had dua lipa through the speakers and pressed the camera button on her phone.
after checking out her hair and face for a bit and making sure the angle for the lighting was as flattering as possible, she pressed record. "hey babes!" she spoke in the voice she used to motivate her nephews and sometimes her friends into doing something she wanted, something that was sold like it was for someone else's benefit. "i'm bev! and if i had to describe myself in three words i would say.." she paused for a while, eyes to the sky as she tried to narrow it down. "like, that's a hard one. i'm so many things. i'm a sagittarius, i'm a dancer, i'm bisexual like...just three words." she watched as the time count let her know she had passed the thirty second video mark but she shrugged and continued on. "i'm tough, i'm like pretty happy, and i'm funny as fuck." once a car alarm started going off bev rolled her eyes and sighed, pressing the button to stop recording. "that's like, good enough. i'm cute it's whatever."
Tell me about your sleeping habits over the past month. Have you noticed any changes? Difficulty sleeping? Restlessness? What was it like before you were on the island?
Bev pondered for a bit. “Oh, sleep was pretty good. I mean, sometimes when you're like really hungry there’s a certain, achy feeling that makes it hard to pass out and sleeping on my jacket is only so comfortable, but, like considering, I slept pretty good.”
How would you describe your appetite over the past 5 weeks? Have your eating habits changed in any way? What was it like before you were on the island?
Bev had been waiting to bring this up because she was sure the people who actually delivered food to her were sick of hearing about it. “Uh, well past 5 weeks the options were pretty limited like including now.” She let that sink in to the nurse for a moment before continuing. “I’ve been like blessed foodwise. My dad’s a chef, and he has a restaurant so we eat quite well. I miss him and his cooking sooo bad.” She gave a slight chuckle, even if the fact that she didn’t even know what her dad was doing right now, if he was ok, if he thought she was. “On the island it was a bit different because we like,didn’t have a lot of options. I think we did like, fucking amazing considering so jot that down.”
Wellbeing
Prior to the island, could you tell me about any times over the past few months that you’ve been bothered by low feelings, stress, or sadness?
“Uh, I dunno,” Bev said as she thought of the best answer to give. “Homesickness made me sad, is that what you mean? Like, seeing Jill and Odessa die was really depressing, the whole are we gonna die thing got like, super old and I think wore me out, oh wait, did you ask before the island?” Bev pondered, she could talk about her mom and the amount of anger that brought her that she was sure some therapist would tell her is actually something lame like sadness or fear. “I was like really fucking happy, and I think it’s super fucked that got interrupted by this whole plane thingy.”
How frequently have you had little pleasure or interest in the activities you usually enjoy? Would you tell me more?
“No I love doing things. I’m on the dance team and it’s the best, especially with the changes i’ve made to the squad. I work at my dad’s restaurant and that’s like, really hard but it makes him proud and I like food so, I enjoy that too. I dunno, I don’t think I’m like, depressed if that’s what you mean.
Autonomy, Choice, and Control
How often during the past few months have you felt as though your moods, or your life, were under your control?
“I’m gonna be honest, and like, babe you might not like this, but asking me if i’ve felt things were under my control but you won’t even call my dad is not a cute look. I feel in control, until some random ass put me on a plane for some fucked up shit and then I almost died, so I don’t know, jot that down.” Bev knew her answer was a lot bitchier than she actually felt but it seemed super hypocritical.
How frequently have you been bothered by not being able to stop worrying?
“I don’t think I get that? Like, I worry but worrying only does so much and i’m like, all about action. Not in a perv way.”
Self-Perception
Tell me about how confident you have been feeling in your capabilities recently.
“Capabilities in what? Like, I’m pretty confident across the board so you’ll need to be more specific. I think I realized i’m a kickass swimmer, which I actually like knew but it was nice to show off.” Maybe getting the black box hadn’t gotten her the praise she wanted but this person didn’t know that.
Let’s talk about how often you have felt satisfied with yourself over the past few months.
“Very often, I’m like, a delight and I do well at things and I try hard so like, why wouldn’t I be?”
Hope and Hopelessness
How often over the past few weeks have you felt the future was bleak?
“I guess like, when people got hurt or worse, that felt really bleak. Like, I know I just said i’m like, a delight which is true but as a group, there was so much like, knowledge sharing and shit but when it like, didn’t help or wasn’t enough, that was fucking bleak.
Can you tell me about your hopes and dreams for the future? What feelings have you had recently about working toward those goals?
“Uh, I don’t know like, I wanna see my nephews become really chill, I wanna help my dad with his restaurant, I want to dance more, get myself a hot spouse whose funny, I was sort of in like, college or nah, type of mindset when this whole island thing started. I think I just, don’t want to be without my family anymore.” She hates that she’s tearing up on this question but she can’t help it. “I just want to be with people I love, who love me back and to have pillows.”
Relationships and Belonging
Describe how ‘supported’ you feel by others around you – your friends, family, or otherwise.
“Uh, very which again, is why it’s fucked up I can’t call my dad. I don’t know, I have friends, some people don’t like me but I’m useful so that only goes so far. I have a lot of friends.” Bev responded, feeling a little more like having that argument the longer she was kept there.
What is it different on the island? Did you feel more or less supported?
“Uh, I don’t know.” She felt quite unpopular on the island, even widely detested but she still missed them, even those that hated her. “I’m not for everyone but, like I said. I’m useful, I was part of the team that got the black box and I was so sore and like, maybe a couple people cared but otherwise it was like, or like, it felt like, oh Bev did it? Nevermind then, you know?” She didn’t feel right sitting with that. “Also though, little self-centered of me I guess, hearing the black box was fucked up. Huge bummer. Not really a time for pats on the back. I’m proud of me, and I helped and that makes me happy. I had friends on the island, I had my journal to vent in for most of it, I had support.”
Let’s discuss how you have been feeling about your relationships recently. Did you make any significant relationships on the island? How do you feel about them?
“Um,” Maybe if she felt better, she would’ve divulged her crush on Jude, how cool and funny Jude was and how much she enjoyed their brand of chaos. Bev remembered Jude scolding her for giving Harker so much info when she appeared, so she didn’t. She wanted to talk about Alexa and how much she felt like they had in common, or Divya who she didn’t feel much in common with but whose disposition was impossible to resist. “I miss my friends.”
Activity
Tell me about any important activities or projects that you’ve been involved with recently. How much enjoyment do you get from these?
Bev tapped her finger on her chin and considered. “Uh, at home i’m on dance squad, that’s really fun, good way to stay in shape but also be creative and it’s like a team thing so lots of socialising there. Plus i’m much less likely to break my nose than like, volleyball or whatever.”
Were you particularly involved with activities on the island? Did you want to be?
“Yeah! Like, I always tried to help, I helped get the black box, we had like, rotating chores so I always did those, sometimes we’d like, chat and stuff, sort of talking games? I loved those, even though they never ended as we thought they would. It was like a sleepover and if you squinted..like a lot of squinting, it felt like a camp or something.”
How frequently have you been doing things that mean something to you or your life?
“Well, I think i’m like, realizing how much my family means to me and like, and I spend a lot of time with them, so I think my life was always really like, meaningful like that. I’d like to get back to it, please.”
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