SETTLING.

waiting for things to get better but you're not sure if it's now or it's never. if it's never been done before, it might bе kinda frightening but waiting for things to get bettеr feels a lot like settling.

[bexalex]

let's try this again.

@benayoung

like it or not, intend for it to happen or not, there's sides that are taken in the wake of every breakup. it's too awkward not to; as much as everyone says it doesn't bother them, it's weird for the friend in the middle, the person who knows and loves both parties but ultimately must choose who cries on their shoulder and screams about everything they hate about their ex.

now imagine how alex must feel in the wake of sarang and ren calling it quits. the love of his life and his best friend turned lover, the two most important people in alex's life, deciding that they're not good for each other, that the misunderstandings have piled up too high, and they can no longer move forward together. alex blamed himself; he should have been there to mediate between them sooner, to translate ren's abruptness and sarang's softness until they learned how to communicate better. he should have... done something. now he's sleeping on jindallae's couch, avoiding both of them, because how can he pick a side in this? alex decidedly isn't poly; he can't do two separate relationships at once. the joy and beauty of the three of them was the fact that it was all three together, one relationship shared between three people. this? this right now is a mess.

alex plants himself facedown, cheek resting against the table defeatedly across from nayoung. it's good to see her again, but there's a sting to their meeting as well. "how's ren doing?" alex asks her, hopeful for a good update even though he hasn't been able to bring himself to see either of his boys since things fell apart. he feels guilty no matter what, plus he's still processing his own grief.

"should i just kiss you?" he laughs, but it lacks any humor or joy behind it. "i'll get drunk again and kiss all my exes. maybe that'll fix me." he sighs. "probably not."

quiet falls, unusual in alex's normally chatty presence. any trace of a smile fades from his face, practically melting further into the table in his sorrow. "i don't really know what to do from here," he admits.

[bexalex]

run for cover.

@jindallaebe

alex has experienced heartbreak before. he was a year removed and a whole ocean away and never truly got over sarang when they called it quits, which up until now might have been the worst heartbreak of his life. he's not even sure if he can even count this as his own heartbreak; it wasn't alex who was dumped or did the dumping in this situation. it was a breakdown of communication, misunderstanding after misunderstanding piling up between sarang and ren until it all boiled over into words that can't be taken back and actions that won't be undone.

all alex could do was sit there and watch as the two most important people in his life called it quits, leaving him somewhere in limbo in the middle.

he can't pick sides, yet he can't stay with both. he knows this about himself, the guilt that would eat away at him for being a bad partner to one or both now that they've split and are living in different households. and yet alex can't imagine falling asleep listening to two sets of heartbeats or waking up with arms wrapped around whoever snuggled in closest to him at night. where is he supposed to stay when his home had been with sarang and ren for the last six months? the bed feels empty—looks empty—with a body missing from it. and as much as he loves them both, he can't help the ache in his heart whenever he's around one or the other.

but is it fair to call it his own heartbreak?

the best thing left to do is for alex to just get away from it all, to take a break from both men and figure out his next move on his own. how is he supposed to just stop loving them? how is he supposed to make this choice? ren will always be his best friend, but now that they've been something more alex isn't ready to let that go. he turns instead to a friend, to someone removed enough from the situation that alex can simply flop on his couch and cry his eyes out until he feels better, or at least tired enough to sleep.

"thanks for letting me crash here," he sighs, his heart so heavy that he has to simply plop down in the nearest available seat. "i owe you one. or two, maybe three depending on how long i'm here."

he rubs at his eyes, tiredness and emotion both making them feel heavy. "it just sucks."

[bejoomi]

joomi ultimately isn't bothered by alex's strange manners. he kind of assumed he was a foreigner based on the name, and joomi has never been a stickler for formalities. probably due in part to being disrespected his entire life, but that's neither here nor there.

"yeah," he answers. it was indeed at that party. alex apologizes when he has no reason to, in joomi's opinion - not to him, anyway. "no worries. i get it." and he does, honestly. joomi would probably be a mess right now if he suddenly decided to get drunk, too. god, he doesn't even want to think about it. alex smiles, though, says he's good now, and joomi smiles back, close-lipped and tenser than he'd like. joomi hopes he'll be good too sooner rather than later. part of him is afraid he never will be, even though he knows it's irrational.

alex makes joomi feel better about how much he can talk sometimes, because he appears to be far more of a motor mouth. joomi just listens, nods along, and smiles softly. "yeah, it's...worse than ever these days. i actually don't see him that much now either." he realizes then that alex probably has no clue he's a trainee. he decides not to reveal it for now, because it's not that important, and joomi would honestly rather listen to alex talk than do much talking himself tonight.

joomi looks back at his ice cream, then shakes his head, digging the grocery list out of his pocket. "uhhhh...bananas, yogurt, jolly pong. i am exhausted but you don't have to pay," he lets out a small laugh.

"don't you have any other friends?" joomi asks, with completely innocent and sincere intentions. he only realizes once it leaves his mouth how it sounds, and he chuckles again, then clarifies, "sorry, i mean...other than ren, that you can hang out with. not like i think you don't have friends or i'm desperate to get rid of you...or anything."

[bexalex]

"i'll get drunk and make out with you next time," alex winks, joking but this is what he does to get a reaction out of people, to get under their skin and make himself impossible to forget. it's his vain little habit, a hobby that's occasionally unkind but always—at least in alex's own opinion—fuckin' hilarious.

he studies joomi's reaction for a moment, waiting to see if he's a laugher or an eye-roller, when he notices the tightness of his lips despite his attempts to smile. "you look like you're put a toad in your mouth and you're hiding it in there," he points out, rather amused by the unique expression. "what's up? what aren't you saying? you think i'm the funniest guy you've ever met, right? you can be this funny too someday if you just practice all your bad jokes on a twitch chat until you're so funny that korea cancels twitch entirely." it makes him feel better about being unemployed if he frames it like that, at least.

alex also can't help but notice that joomi's grocery list sounds suspiciously like a child's snack drawer. he doesn't say much about it; how could he when he'd be a major hypocrite? when he lived alone, he wasn't much better about what he put into his body. that gamer diet, if you will. "no, c'mon, please," he insists, "let me walk around the store with you and chat your ear off and i'll pay you back like that when you're done. i need this." he's only half-kidding. now that he's talking, it's like the floodgates have been unleashed and he never wants to shut up ever again. being alone is exhausting.

a laugh escapes him at joomi's rather blunt question. that's fair, he supposes. how else would someone explain the truly exquisitely bad luck alex has had these last few months? "i do," he assures joomi, who seems to be genuinely distressed at the thought, "but believe it or not, they're all literally trainees. or working in a restaurant, and those hours aren't that much better. they suck for ditching me like this."

[bexalex]

pick up line.

@kouxbe

it's saturday night and filming must be running late or something, because april still isn't nearly warm enough and alex is freezing as he waits outside of the axis building. there's more fans here these days, apparently hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite idols or contestants on a show that alex is slowly losing his enjoyment of. fuck those guys if they think they can yell at ren like that. even if they're right and the performances sucked, that's more on the contestants than the coaches, isn't it?

his patience is starting to wear out as the breeze blows right through his jacket, sending a new unpleasant chill down his spin. "fuck," alex breathes, hoping that the curse alone would warm him a little more. it's almost may, why is it still so damn cold?

he spots someone coming out of the building, young, maybe about his age, so probably not a staff member. or, even if it is staff, alex really doesn't care at this point. he approaches the other man, a friendly smile on his lips. "hi!" he calls out, begrudgingly taking a hand out of his pockets to wave the guy down. "are ren and sarang still in there? i'm a... friend," he hesitates only slightly; it'd be annoying to have to explain that right now. "we were gonna meet up tonight. are they still in there?"

[bejoomi]

( cw: depression )

all things considered, joomi hasn't been grocery shopping in a while. he eats three meals a day at training, which is honestly more than he ate before he started the whole thing. he brings snacks home for sua in hopes that it makes up for his lack of contribution. today, though, he wants ice cream, and they actually don't have any, and for some reason he's too embarrassed to ask sua to buy him some next time she goes to the store.

so he heads out himself, nabbing their grocery list on his way out, figuring he might as well take care of everything else they need in the process.

he's honestly in the middle of just something-close-to-dissociating in front of one of the refrigerated shelves when alex calls out to him. his head whips around to look at him suddenly, and it's more being zoned out that makes him register what's happening belatedly than it is not recognizing alex.

"ah, yeah, i am," joomi answers with a soft smile. he looks down at alex's hand, then awkwardly shakes it regardless. "we've actually met, but you were...very drunk at the time, so i wouldn't expect you to remember." he lets out a quiet chuckle.

joomi isn't sure if he feels like talking to an almost-stranger. he kind of just wants to get his ice cream, go home, eat half the carton, then go to bed. he can hear his therapist's voice in his head, though: something about socializing and human interaction being good for him. at least he can think of what she would say again. for a while he couldn't even do that anymore.

he doesn't know why socializing is so much harder without his friends. joomi is introverted, sure, but he's not particularly shy. it's not like he's incapable of making new friends. he just...doesn't want to. he doesn't have the energy.

he takes comfort in the fact that next gen is only temporary, and that ren and dohyun, at the very least, will be back by his side just like old times soon enough. in the meantime, he just tries to make his days as short as possible, always hoping he'll wake up the next day and something will be better, knowing that every day is one more step to relative normalcy again at the very least.

"ren is really busy these days," he acknowledges, even though he doesn't have to.

[bexalex]

"oh shit, sorry," alex notices the awkward grip of joomi's hand in his, belatedly remembering which set of manners he's supposed to be using right now. he manages an awkward half-bow, though it still feels oddly formal between what alex sees as 'just two dudes.' at home, he had only practiced his parents' culture before the family elders; maybe it made the experience seem more formal than it really is. or maybe alex misunderstood everything and is still doing the wrong thing. he'll be the first to admit that he didn't pay the best attention.

"was it at that party?" alex tries to recall, but he can't seem to remember running into joomi there. they must not have crossed paths until sometime after alex had the great idea to kiss both of his local exes and then cry on his objectively worse ex's shoulder. "sorry about that. i'm not usually like that even when i'm drunk. it was just... a time, y'know? we're good now though." he beams, both proving his words with a smile and genuinely pleased to recall that the boy he had been so heartbroken over then is now sharing a bed with him every night. ren too, but he's not sure exactly what he's told his buddies, so alex treads lightly. one boyfriend is scandal enough here; two boyfriends who are also boyfriends with each other could start riots.

ren is really busy these days. "you can say that again," alex sighs. he'll be the first to admit it; he misses his boys. how much longer must he sit in silence, waiting for ren and sarang to return from the war? he doesn't have much to fill the hours with these days, which is exactly why he finds himself starved for interaction to the point he's blabbering about anything and everything to a dude he technically just met. "i'm proud of him, don't get me wrong, but would it kill them to let him have a break every now and then? don't they know how bored i am without him?" he mostly jokes at that last part, acting like the world should revolve around him and him alone. wouldn't that be great?

"is that all you're getting?" alex gestures at joomi's ice cream. "i'll pay. you look exhausted and i haven't done a good deed of the day yet. and i need an excuse to talk with someone. i'm an extrovert who's been left alone for too long." he laughs, only half-joking.

[bexnatsuki]

when the stranger in front of her tells natsuki that he was lying about not being able to speak korean, all she can do is burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of his statement. what a weirdo. she thinks to herself as there really was no reason for him to lie, but maybe this was his way of playing a practical joke of some sort. who knows? it wasn't really any of her business. "you're silly, you didn't need to lie about that only to come clean about it later in the next sentence." she responds pointedly with a chuckle, rubbing mochi's belly who was happily sprawled out on the floor on his back, shaking one of his hind legs as his tail thumped rapidly against the wooden floor. another laugh escapes her lips when he makes a dick joke, this time more enthusiastic and she rolls her eyes. "wow, of course you did. why am i not surprised?" she asks sarcastically. although this was their first time meeting ever, she already felt comfortable enough to joke around with as he seemed like a pretty 'lax guy that was easy going.

"a raise? i never actually thought of that..." she repeats incredulously, and for a moment natsuki actually thinks about it. money wasn't exactly something she was desperate for as she was making a decent amount at the moment. sure, being a barista didn't pay her as much as her sponsors did, but she never actually wanted to work here for the money, it was the dogs that drew her in. she saw the time she spent with them as a reward or bonus for her serving and making drinks for people rather than it being extra work. "i don't think i do enough to deserve a raise-they're just simple tricks i'm sure anyone could do it! i'm flattered you think i know what i'm talking about though." she beams brightly, pride swirling in her chest at the fact that someone she just started talking to thought she was talented enough to be an actual dog trainer, which she definitely wasn't.

natsuki watches the man play with mochi, delighted at the sight in front of her when the stranger drops that he has a 'boyfriend' and her eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. not because he was in a relationship with a man, but because he boldly said it out loud....in korea, a country that was notorious for having traditional views and not being the most lgbtq+ friendly nation. however, more than anything she felt a little touched that he had felt comfortable enough to talk about his sexuality and relationship with her, especially when they had just met.

in order not to weird him out, natsuki refrains from asking any questions and instead hums in thought as she tries to remember all the facts she knew about shibas. after a brief pause, she continues "yeah they do shed quite a bit since they're double coated, especially during the spring and fall. however, shibas only really need to be brushed once or twice a month. just be careful around his tail!" her voice grew more excited at the prospect of mochi possibly finding a forever home, it was one of the reasons she loved her job and one of the things that would easily make her day. "another good thing about shibas is that they clean themselves a lot, so you don't have to give them a lot of baths. in fact, giving them too many is worse for them as it would mess with temperature regulation and skin. shibas may not be for everyone, especially first time dog-owners, however i think you'll do just fine since you've had a dog before right?" she probes, eyes shining with curiosity.

although she wanted mochi to find a home, natsuki wanted to make sure that this man actually knew how to take care of a dog and wasn't just looking to adopt one on a whim and beg to return him to the cafe or worse; re-home him irresponsibly to awful owners.

"well, since it's going to be cherry blossoms season we do have a few sakura themed drinks and desserts if you'd like to try them-my personal favourite is the sakura latte!" she flashes alex a genuine smile, her eyes forming little crescents when she responds with her own name "i'm natsuki, it's nice to meet you alex."

[bexalex]

"i lie for fun and then i feel bad," alex responds truthfully, knowing full well that his previous falsehoods will make it harder to believe him. it's part of the game, of keeping people guessing until it no longer becomes fun for him. it's his toxic character trait, or something. "honestly, it would have been way funnier for me if you didn't know english. you kinda ruined my joke," he playfully blames her for ruining all of his fun, though he really isn't missing out on much. the woman matches his energy, calling out his bullshit but still somewhat playing along with his jokes anyway. it's not unusual for alex to make quick friends, but this is certainly sooner than most.

she might be a little slow, though. judging by the way she seems taken completely off-guard by alex's suggestion that she should be paid more. he wonders how much a barista gig at this cafe actually pays if she's not at all worried about her finances. "okay, but people pay people big bucks to teach their dogs 'simple tricks,'" he flexes his fingers in air quotes around the phrase, obviously disagreeing with the barista-slash-trainer's assessment of her own ability. "you know at least a little bit about what you're talking about, because i sure as hell can't teach a dog to do shit and i'm a natural genius at just about anything." a grin is on his lips, the wild boast another obvious joke of his. maybe he believes it a little bit; alex has always been just a little too confident for his own good.

despite his playful, unserious nature, alex isn't a complete idiot. he notices the shift in the woman's expression when he mentions his boyfriend. in hindsight, he probably could have just called him sarang outright and no one would have suspected that his better half is also a man. oh well, the damage is done. to her credit, though, she doesn't say a word despite the way her brows raise just slightly. surprised, but not disgusted. alex decides that he made the right choice in trusting her with this information, at least for the time being. or maybe she is a raging homophobe who doesn't like to cause scenes—the very thought seems to be a wild contradiction, in alex's mind— and she's just pretending not to hear and ignoring the dreaded 'gay' of the man in front of her. that seems unlikely, though.

she seems way more concerned with getting mister mochi a home than she is with whoever alex decides to kiss behind closed doors anyway, immediately going back to pitching all the benefits of this dog in particular to alex. he's tempted, oh is he tempted. but he knows he'd be a total asshole if he just showed up with a super-shedder puppy with an unknown potential for destruction to a household he technically doesn't contribute to other than his charming personality and dashing good looks. maybe if the boys ever have the energy on one of their sundays off, he'll get them here to meet the dog before bringing it home... if no one else snatches mochi up first, after all.

"do you work on commission?" alex jokes, "if not, you should definitely go into sales. you're good at it." he sighs, a bit regretful as he gives mochi another good ear-scratch. "i really can't bring a dog home right now. i would, but i'd really make people mad at me. i... actually don't know if i'm technically allowed to have one. i should probably ask." ah, if only it were simple. but life so rarely is.

"natsuki," alex repeats the name, partially to lock it in his memory and also to make sure he's getting the pronunciation right. he only speaks two languages after all, and the woman's name is from one of the many others that he does not. "i might not be able to take home a dog but i will take you up on the sakura latte. is it pink?" he doesn't particularly prefer the color but he likes to pretend that he does sometimes; just another moment where alex lies for fun and no good reason.

[bejoomi]

( cw: depression )

all things considered, joomi hasn't been grocery shopping in a while. he eats three meals a day at training, which is honestly more than he ate before he started the whole thing. he brings snacks home for sua in hopes that it makes up for his lack of contribution. today, though, he wants ice cream, and they actually don't have any, and for some reason he's too embarrassed to ask sua to buy him some next time she goes to the store.

so he heads out himself, nabbing their grocery list on his way out, figuring he might as well take care of everything else they need in the process.

he's honestly in the middle of just something-close-to-dissociating in front of one of the refrigerated shelves when alex calls out to him. his head whips around to look at him suddenly, and it's more being zoned out that makes him register what's happening belatedly than it is not recognizing alex.

"ah, yeah, i am," joomi answers with a soft smile. he looks down at alex's hand, then awkwardly shakes it regardless. "we've actually met, but you were...very drunk at the time, so i wouldn't expect you to remember." he lets out a quiet chuckle.

joomi isn't sure if he feels like talking to an almost-stranger. he kind of just wants to get his ice cream, go home, eat half the carton, then go to bed. he can hear his therapist's voice in his head, though: something about socializing and human interaction being good for him. at least he can think of what she would say again. for a while he couldn't even do that anymore.

he doesn't know why socializing is so much harder without his friends. joomi is introverted, sure, but he's not particularly shy. it's not like he's incapable of making new friends. he just...doesn't want to. he doesn't have the energy.

he takes comfort in the fact that next gen is only temporary, and that ren and dohyun, at the very least, will be back by his side just like old times soon enough. in the meantime, he just tries to make his days as short as possible, always hoping he'll wake up the next day and something will be better, knowing that every day is one more step to relative normalcy again at the very least.

"ren is really busy these days," he acknowledges, even though he doesn't have to.

[bexalex]

"oh shit, was i?" alex has the sense to be somewhat embarrassed that his first impression might not have been the best one. he wonders when exactly it was that joomi first met him; there's certainly been more than one occasion where alex has been drunk around ren. thinking back on it now, he's pretty sure he's done something embarrassing every single time.

"well, i hope i didn't cry or kiss you. i've done that before," he laughs, still not nearly ashamed enough of the intensely emotional drunk he turns into. it's not in alex's character to be easily embarrassed; he'd much rather just laugh any awkward moments off and move on. he's one of the very few people who actually can, apparently; he's never been haunted by the ghosts of bad decisions of the past or kept up at night remembering something awkward he did in middle school. well, mostly anyway. he chalks it up to his incredible baseless confidence.

he's not stupid, though. he notices joomi's short answers, the dark circles under his eyes and the heaviness he seems to carry in his frame. if he's being honest with himself, alex would admit that he's reminded a bit of ren. doesn't his ex-captain-best-friend-turned-boyfriend hold himself a little similarly sometimes? does he not sulk around all too often, like the world is piling heavy rocks on his shoulders invisible to the human eye?

"what are you up to these days?" alex asks, already thinking about offering to kill two birds with one stone; he can probably cheer joomi up all while alleviating his own boredom and loneliness. it's foolproof, right? "and are you any good at mario party?"

[bexalex]

familiar strangers.

@bejoomi

alex has never been lonely before in his life.

okay, well, that's probably not entirely true but he honestly can't remember the last time he's felt so listless, almost directionless. his esports and twitch careers are over thanks to corporate greed. his boys are both tied up with being the fearless leaders of the next generation (see: coaches on next gen). even nayoung is on the same damn show. while alex is nothing but happy for them, proud of their success and delighted to watch them on-screen at home, it's been very... quiet. so quiet, in fact, that he volunteered to do the grocery shopping. alex hates grocery shopping.

he's in the middle of trying to decide what the difference between three different packages of bacon (all labeled differently) really is when movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention. maybe alex is just looking for an excuse, but he follows his curiosity until he's staring at another young man, probably around his age, also stumbling through the grocery store at a rather unusual hour. the other man turns slightly, just enough for alex to see his face. recognition dawns not quite instantaneously, but quickly enough.

"hey!" alex, never one to be shy, calls out to the man without a second thought. "you're friends with ren, right? i'm alex, i don't think we've ever properly met." he sticks out his hand, momentarily forgetting the fact that most of ren's current friends are korean and their greetings look so much different than what north americans are used to. in any case, his bacon is entirely abandoned back into the refrigerated display for now.

[renxbe]

ren is exhausted.

it isn't a new feeling, in fact, exhaustion has implanted itself so firmly in his bone marrow that he can hardly remember a time where he wasn't exhausted. but it's a new flavor of exhaustion, the kind that comes from having to fulfill an entire day's worth of training, but after spending and hour in a makeup chair to look good on camera while also looking like he isn't wearing any makeup at all ('how many pounds of concealer will it take to hide the bags under his eyes?' is his favorite betting game to play with himself), and while coaching a fresh gaggle of idol hopefuls whom he is convinced he is in no way qualified to be coaching whatsoever.

but this is what little quality time he has to spend with alex, and he'd feel terrible if he spent it doing something as mundane and useless as sleeping.

so he tunes into the first episode of next gen slumped against alex, surprisingly intrigued by the concept of watching it from the perspective of a third party (or is it second and a half?) viewer.

"yeah," he agrees wearily, "again."

he does watch intently, to the best of his ability, considering the state of him. he finds he's learning a lot about the contestants through their initial auditions that he might not in the limited time he has with them in person. alex's commentary makes him snort in amusement, and he's grateful for his familiar, comforting presence in the room keeping any latent stress at bay.

"'kids?' half of them are older than you."

he's right though, it does feel like another added layer of pressure to his career, his image; if he messes up somehow, does he mess up someone else's entire future alongside his own? and god forbid he says something a little too honest to whoever netizens have decided is their favorite today.

ren shakes his head, which gently bumps his temple against alex's arm a few times.

"i can't say anything. had to sign an nda and everything. fuck that guy, though," he adds in english, when siwoo's face appears on screen, too tired to bother with any sort of filter around his best-friend-turned-lover, "don't tell anyone i said that."

[bexalex]

"okay, well, the other half are still kids." alex half-shrugs, trying not to jostle ren where he leans against him too much with the movement. "genuinely surprised there's so many real adults as there are here. i thought all idols were like twelve and burned out by twenty." truth be told, he really knows next to nothing about kpop other than what he occasionally sees on the app formerly known as twitter. they always seem to be complaining about underage debuts there; he had assumed the only people auditioning were literal children. "is it, like, labor laws or something? all i know is people complain about idols being too young."

part of him feels guilty for keeping ren awake. he knows both of his boyfriends work hard all day, likely harder now that they're once again on television and on display for the world to see. he knows their hours are long and despite that meaning they have very little time for him, that also means they have very little time to rest. if he was less selfish, he'd just tell ren to go to sleep. but ren seems to be enjoying the show too, or at least alex's occasional quip and comment, so he doesn't suggest anything for now.

brows raise when ren is suddenly cursing out a contestant that alex is pretty sure he doesn't recognize. "what's his name?" he squints at the nametag plastered across the young man, "siwoo? what'd he do to make you hate him?" he laughs, not yet realizing the severity of ren's words and how far back the venom goes. in his head, it's some petty behind the scenes spat, something that would make for good tv.

"i should have been recording. i've lost my chance to show the world zhou renyi aka renegade swearing, and at a co-worker no less. you're a terrible person," he jokes, all smiles and laughing eyes. "who am i gonna tell? it's just me most of the time these days." he doesn't like to guilt trip the boys, he knows they're both busy, but alex will openly admit to getting lonely during the day. everyone else is employed or something. "anyway, what gives?"

[bexalex]

you could have told me.

@renxbe

"dude, you're on tv," alex really had no good reason to tune into next gen other than morbid curiosity. now that his twitch career is in shambles, he's not playing professional esports for anyone, and he still hasn't re-enrolled in school, the thought vaguely occurred to him that being an idol might be the next best thing. not that alex is under any delusions that he has the talent to sing and dance, but, well, his boyfriends are both doing it. nayoung is doing it. literally everyone he knows in korea has been signed somewhere by now and... he's curious. next gen seemed like an easy way to dip his toes into it, to study the idol industry from a safe distance and determine if it's really something he wanted to get into.

he did not expect to see both ren and sarang on his screen. and nayoung too, he guesses. neither of them had so much as mentioned a peep about it to him, sneaky bastards.

"so, what? the fates of these pathetic-looking kids are in your hands now? can you tell me anything about what you're doing?" he'll admit to his curiosity. he knows it's not ren's first time on tv; that was the last season of this same show. things had gone well for him then, winning a contract of his choice and seemingly happy with that decision. "i'd say that's a lot of pressure but you kinda know how to handle that already, captain." he doesn't often reference their overwatch days, nor does he like to admit that ren ever had any sort of authority over him. but it suits the moment, so alex goes with it.

[benayoung]

alex must know nayoung would never spend her limited free time with him, so somehow alex ends up at her place of employment. she doesn't ask him why, because somehow it just makes sense. besides, it seems like he's here to complain.

she raises an eyebrow as he hands over her phone. it's the news of twitch pulling out of korea. "ren told me," she answers simply.

"i was never in," nayoung clarifies, in case alex forgot. she was just a mod for his and ren's streams when she had time; never a streamer herself. "i've had a real job this whole time." except for the time she didn't have a job at all, but nayoung personally thinks that's better than making a living as a twitch streamer. "i don't know how you got enough people to like you to give you enough money that you haven't had to get a real job until now." it is honestly baffling, but nayoung does know most people have poor taste.

"allux was a stupid name anyway," she says, like that's remotely reassuring. she doesn't really care if it is or not. she thinks for a moment. last she heard from their manager, he was talking about not having enough people to work during the week. she's almost tempted to tell alex they're probably hiring, but she thinks better of it. even though she doubts they'll end up working at the same time since she and cam take the weekend shift now, it's still somehow too close of a proximity to alex.

"aren't you supposed to be good at writing or whatever? maybe you can do something with that."

[bexalex]

"you were in, i don't care about technicalities." technically mods usually don't get paid, it's all volunteer work. but alex doesn't really consider that; he just remembers the countless hours all of them used to spend on stream, bullying each other, playing together, building a community and rapport shared between them. nayoung was an important piece of the puzzle, he acknowledges. so was renegade. none of his supposed success would have been realized without either of them in the picture.

he sticks his tongue out at the woman now, childish as she makes fun of him. there's a sibling-like dynamic between them these days, push and pull, perhaps explaining why dating was short-lived and quickly forgotten. "i was also playing professionally," he reminds her; the real source of his income, "and a student, so shit was cheap for me. now i'm like... god, it's pathetic how unemployed i am." the whole league he met ren in is gone now, for crying out loud.

"hey," he protests again, "allux is literally my name. alex. be nice." he scrolls through a few comments on his phone, reading through the mourning of korean streamers and fans who are inconvenienced by this sudden change. "some streamers are doing not-safe-for-work streams until it's fully shut down... the rules don't matter anymore anyway... would you pay to see that?" he half-jokes; may as well milk the last of it while he still can.

"i went to school for writing, that doesn't mean i'm good at it." mostly, alex just didn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer or anything that would make his parents proud. not that his mother has ever been anything less than supportive of all of his hopes and dreams. "plus, ai is taking over. i'm competing with bots now more than ever."

[bexalex]

cursed touch.

@benayoung

"did you see this?" alex hands his phone over to his friend, an article pulled up about the current situation that has him absolutely lost in the face of change. "you and ren got out at a good time. this fucking sucks."

he's about to be completely and utterly unemployed. not that alex has had a 'real job' anyway but it's starting to feel like he might be cursed or something. competitive overwatch is dead, twitch is leaving south korea, and... well, technically he could go back to valorant, but he's pushing his mid-20s and already feels that his reflexes aren't what they used to be. streaming was his last source of income, now taken away from him by steep network fees in a country he willingly chose to return to.

"i guess technically i could move to youtube or kick but like... my audience was on twitch. half of them were in north america anyway, they're not going to follow me somewhere else... ugh, i guess this is the end of allux."

he knows nayoung probably doesn't care and will probably berate him for this, somehow. and yet alex doesn't care; sometimes a guy just needs to vent even if it's to the worst possible person. nayoung just happens to be here so she's the one who has to hear it.

[bexnatsuki]

"i knew it! there's no way i would forget a handsome face like yours." natuski cracks a smile, listening intently as he explains that he was actually a foreigner from canada. "canada? that's cool i've always wanted to go! i'm actually a foreigner too, i'm originally from japan! however, i do know english so if that's more comfortable we can speak in english instead. and nonsense, your korean is much better than mine was when i first moved here. i mean i once literally confused the word for flower and the word for penis since they sound similar, so i think you're doing just fine." she replies in perfect english with a warm laugh, hoping that her own embarrassing anecdote would reassure him a bit.

thinking back to her first year in korea, she remembers how difficult it was for her to assimilate back to such a fast paced environment and culture after being away from asia for so long. luckily for her, korean was similar enough to japanese that it wasn't too difficult for her to pick up, however it did take a bit of time before she had felt comfortable having full conversations in the language and the pronunciation of certain words were still a little difficult for her to this day.

"my boss is the one that usually potty trains the puppies. however i was the one that taught him all the tricks he knows!" she exclaims happily, proud of herself for doing so as she remembered how long it had taken her to teach him to play dead-he wouldn't listen for the longest time until she brought food into the equation. "technically, i'm not supposed to be teaching the dogs any tricks since i'm just a barista. technically, the most i need to do with the dogs is just feed them and clean up after any accidents, but no one's ever complained and customers love it when i show off tricks i've taught the other dogs so he never told me to stop." she explains with a smile, the stranger's barrage of questions amusing her-it wasn't everyday she met someone that talked as much as she did, so she was more than happy to keep him company.

she claps and praises mochi when he successfully gives the customer a little paw-five, her smile growing wider. watching him interact with mochi fills her heart with joy when the possibility of him finding his forever home crosses her mind. although mochi was one of her favourites and she would miss him dearly, she knew that at the end of the day he deserves to have a proper home and all the love in the world.

"you're right about shibas being independent, however for the most part mochi was easy to train. he just has the tendency to chase anything that moves, so he gets easily distracted. he also can be pretty mischievous and tries to see how much he can get away with before we get mad at him. isn't that right mochi, you little smart cookie?" she coos, scratching his head between the ears once more with a laugh.

"a game i like playing with him sometimes is hiding his treats or toys around the cafe and making him look for it. it's one of his favourite things to do! as for why he hasn't been adopted yet...well, we just haven't found the right fit for him. there were a few people interested, but they were all first-time dog owners and we only give certain breeds to experienced dog owners, shibas being one of them, as their temperament can be a challenge sometimes. i'm guessing you've had a dog before or at least know quite a bit if you know that shibas can be hard to train, right?" she asks, eyeing the other curiously, wanting to know more about the other. "i also noticed that you didn't order anything, do you want me to get you anything to drink?"

[bexalex]

he almost feels bad for lying, especially when it's not as fun as he thought it would be. sure, he technically didn't say anything false but he wasn't really expecting the girl to chatter away about her own travels and experiences in a new country. alex realizes that he should probably tell her the truth; he'll only look like more of an ass if he lets the lie go on longer. he does, however, stop to grin and bask in the compliment as she calls him handsome. he knows, objectively, he's a good looking guy. not that he's trying to take advantage of that, but, well, it helps.

"either's fine for me," he decides to explain properly in his answer about english or korean. "actually, i was being misleading on purpose. i did just come from canada and i grew up there but i've actually lived here in korea for a few years now. my parents were from here, so," he shrugs, "when i moved here for school and a job i had plenty of extended family around. i mean, i wasn't totally fluent in korean when i first got here, but at least i didn't accidentally say penis. i said it on purpose." alex laughs, though he belatedly wonders how the stranger will take his humor. he's so used to joking around with guys, making dick jokes and the like, that he almost forgets that girls aren't always as in on that genre of joke. maybe nayoung... well, nayoung doesn't really count as a girl in alex's opinion.

it certainly sounds like his new friend is a woman of many talents, perhaps being exploited by her willingness to work with animals and her obvious passion for the creatures here. "you should ask for a raise," he points out, "people pay big bucks for a good trainer and you seem to know what you're talking about. it's highway robbery if your boss is just paying you to be a barista when you're doing so much more for his business with the work you do with the dogs." not that alex is the one complaining; he gets to enjoy the company of mochi and the other pets regardless. he just can't help but call out an unfair situation even when it's really none of his business.

alex fusses with the puppy's ears, making little sound effects as he rubs them this way and that, cooing as the pup leans heavily into his knuckles as he scratches at the base. cute. it's certainly affectionate for a shiba, likely well socialized by the sheer nature of growing up in the cafe with so many people coming and going. "he's adorable," alex remarks aloud again. it's tempting to bring the pup home with him. there's just one little catch...

"shibas shed a lot too though, don't they? my boyfriend would kill me if i brought home a dog that would get everything dirty and furry all the time."

alex knows the state of the culture in south korea. he's been immersed in it long enough that he knows that two men or two women in a relationship aren't nearly as accepted as they are back home in canada. he's normally somewhat tight-lipped about his relationship, if only for his own safety. even with trusted friends, it's not the kind of information he wants broadcasted. plus, there's the complication of sarang and ren's careers; they're too publicly known for alex to go around saying dumb things about them. there's something about this girl though, something that makes alex feel like he can trust her to be normal (in his definition of the word) about the information he just shared with her. maybe it's a sense of kinship from both being foreigners in a sense, maybe it's just the brightness of her personality. regardless, his decision has already been made.

"oh, yeah, i was going to grab something but i got... distracted. mochi here isn't very good at keeping me on-task," he jokes, fussing with the pup affectionately once more. "do you have any specials today?"

"i'm alex, by the way." it's a little late into the conversation for introductions but still better now than never. alex can see himself walking out of this place without ever knowing the woman's name if he's not deliberate about learning it.

[bexnatsuki]

it was a quiet afternoon at the dog café with only a few guests visiting the café as it was a weekday-it was a lot more busy on the weekends as there were more families and couples that visited during that time. usually at this hour, only the occasional regular would drop in. natsuki knew their names and orders by heart as they came by so often that even the dogs would get excited when they would visit the café. this left her with a lot more free time on her hands as she finished wiping down the coffee appliances and counter out of boredom. everyone had gotten their orders already and she couldn't even talk to anyone as she was the only one manning the café at the moment as her coworkers had gone on their break.

in the corner of her eye, natsuki noticed the new customer the moment he through the door as she silently worked and watched him through her peripheral vision. what was even weirder, was that he didn't even bother to order anything and it had been well over 15 minutes since he came in. taking a few dog treats in her hand, she makes her way to the stranger playing with mochi, the small shiba puppy currently receiving head scratches from the same man.

"as a matter of fact he is potty trained, and is also one of our last puppies still available for adoption! this little guy here just turned 6 months old." she chimes, finding it amusing that he was conversing with the puppy as if mochi could reply with something other than a bark or pant. "i don't think i've seen you around before, is it your first time visiting?"

kneeling down to be on the same level as mochi, she gives the customer a friendly smile before coaxing the puppy to come over to her. "i just taught him a new trick recently, wanna see?" she asks the other as she first gets mochi to sit, spin and then finally her free hand forms a fake pistol and pretends to shoot it at the dog. "bbangya!" she exclaims with a laugh and right on cue, mochi flops to the floor with his tongue lolling out, playing dead.

"good job mochi!" natsuki praises the puppy, rubbing his belly as his tail wagged before offering one of the treats from her palm. as she turns her attention back to the man beside her, one hand still petting the puppy, she asks with a bright smile and stretches out her other hand to put a treat in his. "he also knows how to give high-fives, or in his case paw-fives. do you want to give him one?"

[bexalex]

his first thought upon being interrupted by a human being in a dog cafe is that she sounds like an excellent saleswoman. alex can't help but be amused, immediately likening her to the old car salesman meme as she boasts about the puppy he's fussing over and promising how well trained he is despite his young age. this baby can fit so many treats in 'em, he thinks, a smile splitting his lips and revealing a toothy grin. he keeps his thoughts to himself for now though, still sizing up the stranger and figuring out her sense of humor before he say something super stupid. his intentional stupidity has to be well-timed, of course.

"it is," he confirms, perhaps a little impressed at the sheer amount of hours this woman must work if she recognizes every single face that's ever come into the cafe. he plays up his own story a bit, exaggerating the truth as he relays it back to her: "honestly, i'm new to the neighborhood in general. i just got off a plane from canada the other day, so sorry if my korean is bad." he talks as if he's never been in the country before, as if he didn't live here for years before visiting his mother back home for a few months. he lies for fun, for his own entertainment, and to see how the people around him react. thankfully, his fibs are harmless enough in the grand scheme of things.

he should have guessed that the girl has a good sense of humor before, but he definitely recognizes it when she's quick to show off the puppy's talents to him. alex can't help his smile from softening as he watches the talented little dog play dead in front of him, dramatic effects and all. "you taught him?" he'll admit, he's a little surprised. he had sized her up as a saleswoman and maybe a server, certainly not a trainer. though, in hindsight, the confidence with which she approached him makes more sense this way. "how long have you been training dogs? i always thought it wasn't that easy, especially for dogs like that. aren't shibas supposed to be pretty independent?"

of course alex takes the treat when offered, shifting his position to be eye-level with the puppy and immediately offering his hand up for a high-five. just as he's wondering whether there's a command word he should know, the pup acts in response to the hand gesture and alex has to hand over the treat, cooing over the talented pup and rubbing his ears as he gobbles up the snack. "how's this little guy not spoken for?" he wonders aloud. who wouldn't want a cute dog that's already well-trained? "does he chew up underwear or something? howls all night? there's gotta be a catch."

[jindallaebe]

honestly, jindallae's missed alex. he's not going to tell him that, he doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, but it's true. while he realizes that alex can be extremely annoying, there's something about his personality that jin finds rather infectious. for one thing, alex is never afraid to deliver a lighthearted, yet scathing comment to him. those who know him understand that jindallae loves to be teased, just as much as he likes to tease himself. alex falls into that category, and their playful bullying is the foundation of their dynamic.

they take turns throwing insults at one another, and sometimes at other people, and it never fails to entertain him. in a lot of ways, it's the most unserious friendship he has, but not because he doesn't care about alex or his feelings. no, it's unserious only in that they don't take each other that seriously. it's refreshing, in its own way.

as jindallae moves about his kitchen preparing dinner, he keeps himself alert to everything his friend says; able to focus on both his guest, and the meal he's fixing, at the same time. it helps that what he's making comes second nature to him; muscle memory does most of the heavy-lifting here. "carbonara," he responds, hovering over the noodles that are softening in a pot on the stovetop. it's an easy entrée to throw together quickly, but the timing is imperative. that's the only tricky part of it.

"there's also some vegetable sides to balance it out. it's a rich dish, as you know, so i wanted to brighten it up with banchan. korean-italian fusion, i guess?" he laughs, smoothly grabbing one of the boiling noodles with chopsticks to test its consistency. when he decides it's perfect, he strains the water out of the pot, throws the pasta back in, then quickly adds the cheese and egg slurry; stirring quickly so that the heat of the fettuccine cooks the eggs just enough.

focused on the task at hand, when he's pleased with its progress, he wanders back over to alex; looking at the photos on his phone. "it... honestly looks really good. they're really called beaver tails?" he asks, laughing. "if they're fried, we can try to make 'em here sometime? why the fuck not, right?" he suggests, shrugging his shoulders as he saunters back into the kitchen. "food's almost done. can you get the banchan outta the fridge and arrange them on the table?"

hoping alex doesn't give him any lip this time, he starts to gently mix the carbonara again; stomach growling at the scent of it. the guanciale that he splurged on is distributed beautifully throughout the dish, and when he's happy with it's appearance, he carefully plates two hearty servings, grates some extra pecorino romano cheese on top, and guides each plate to the table; setting them down at either place-setting. "alright, here we go. how's it look?"

[bexalex]

"i came all the way from the other side of the world for your cooking and you can't even bother to make me real korean food?" alex 'complains' in the way he often does, where he really doesn't mean a single word he says but says it all anyway. it's just to be annoying, just to get a reaction. even if he was genuinely disappointed, he really can't be that upset when he gets a whiff of the dish drifting from the kitchen; jindallae is a very talented chef after all.

"i guess the side dishes kinda count... i'll let it slide, i guess," he jokes more, though he rises to his feet to wander over. he lets curiosity guide him and he watches over jindallae's shoulder (as best as he can, the man is a freaking giant) as he drains the pasta and stirs in the egg sauce stuff. alex can cook, but it's not nearly as masterful as his friend's abilities. his experience is more utilitarian than artful he lived in a dorm with a handful of gamer boys for a couple years; someone had to feed them half-decent food before they killed themselves on a diet of instant ramen and energy drinks.

it's enough that he's not confident in attempting to make beaver tails on his own, even if he wants jin to try it. alex and hot oil do not mix very well and he's a little bit afraid of accidentally burning down the kitchen. better to plant the idea in his more experienced friend's head. "they look like a beaver tail, see?" he makes sure jindallae gets a good look at the pictures on his phone. other than the long, round, flat shape of the fried dough, there's really not much resemblance. but alex isn't going to admit that. "if you start selling them at the restaurant and make a fortune, you have to give me a cut for giving you the idea. got it?"

a long sigh escapes his lips the moment he's asked to do even the simplest task. alex will do it, but that doesn't mean he won't be a little bit of an ass on purpose first. "really? you invite me over and you make me work for my meal? you're a terrible host, jin." he rants, eye rolling and everything, even as he makes his way over to the fridge to do what he's asked. it's not that big of a deal, he's just intentionally difficult. it's more fun that way. "i can't believe you're making me slave away in your kitchen. you don't even pay me. you're the worst." he's sure to 'berate' his friend the entire time he's arranging the dishes on the table.

but for as much of an ass as alex is, even he can't find anything bad to say as the main dish is served. it smells fantastic and somehow looks even better. "honestly?" his only act of 'revenge' is to drag out his response, taking his sweet time to form the words to review the dish by appearance alone. "it looks great," he finally speaks, a grin on his lips as he takes his seat. "i can't say you outdid yourself because i know you're good at this shit, but i guess it came close or something."

[renxbe]

ren might as well be half awake, the way his body sinks into the sofa like it's a part of the furniture, exhausted muscles settling into couch cushions and silk pajamas like liquid into a sponge. he could die right here and right now, and he is certain it'd be the most comfortable death ever, caressed by the warmth of a cozy apartment on christmas and the soft floral scent wafting toward him every time sarang shifts in place mingling with the faint confectionary smell of marshmallows melting gradually in piping hot chocolate.

it should be strange, this scenario. it is strange. but ren doesn't feel strange. he feels safe, like someone shoved him in a cocoon of holiday cheer that is utterly foreign to him, where time passes like molasses and everything exists in that impossible soft focus they use in every cheesy holiday movie when they zoom in on the oversized christmas tree for the first time. how is he here, with sarang pressed against his side, with his arm resting around sarang's waist, both hands clutching his cellphone and scrolling through instagram absentmindedly, on christmas eve, with no existential dread seeping into his bones?

even swiping away the what's app notification from his sister is easy, and so is flipping his phone over in his lap, swallowing back whatever wave of unwelcome emotion his family is undoubtedly trying to guilt trip him into. even they can't ruin this moment.

"it's the best way to learn. nobody's gonna go easy on you in a public lobby, so why should i?" he responds instantly, almost as if they've rehearsed this conversation (they have had it at least five times already) beforehand, "but what do i know? i'm only a two-time-champion-winning three-time-mvp."

he reaches over with his left hand, grabs a small throw pillow, and does just that, aiming it over sarang's head and at alex's face.

"what use is peeling tangerines, hm?" he rolls his eyes, not nearly as attuned to sarang's harmless manipulations as alex, and easily pulled into this bout of silly, petty competition, "too bad peeling fruit doesn't help your kill-death ratio in comp."

[sarangbe]

sarang feels such a fondness towards both of them, and he loves watching them engage in their playful warfare. there's a competitive spirit about them that he can't help but find appealing. to him, it's masculine, yet endearing, and the more he studies their relationship dynamic, the more he realizes that their little tiffs are actually the two of them expressing their love for one another. it's a language that only the two of them speak fluently, and while sarang is learning, he's unsure if he'll ever become fluent in it.

are they aggressive with each other? sure, but from sarang's point-of-view, it's the most wholesome aggression that's ever existed. if anything, they resemble two puppies that roughhouse with one another for fun. they may nibble at each other's ears, or tackle one another onto the floor, but it's all out of love. however, he sometimes wonders if he should stop adding oxygen into the fire that's ever-present between them, but he almost can't help himself. he loves watching it blaze and cinder, as witnessing that level of their heat brings a smile to his face every single time.

sighing sweetly, he turns his head to give ren a peck on the cheek, then leans forward to plant one on alex's before standing from his seat. "c'mon, boys... play nice." his tone is cheeky, and he speaks while ambling towards the kitchen. once there, he clutches onto the basket of tangerines left behind for them, then brings it back to the living room; setting it on the coffee table. the fruit's sweet fragrance tickles his nose, and as he takes his seat back in-between alex and ren, he dons an impish grin; calculating.

"you should each peel me a tangerine. i'm a little hungry, and i don't want to get my hands dirty. i just put hand-cream on them." with that, he turns and takes a look at each of them, beaming. "if you want to turn this into a competition, whoever can peel it in one go the fastest will get a special massage from me sometime soon..." his offer is generous, and will almost definitely come with a happy ending.

"what do you say, hm? you two up for the challenge?"

[bexalex]

"some people play games for fun, ren. remember?" he chides jokingly, like an exasperated teacher who's told an uncooperative student the same lesson a hundred different times. he knows it'll just annoy ren further and that's usually what alex wants. he's always liked getting reactions out of people, messing with them and getting under their skin. ren's certainly no exception, rather someone he knows so well that he may practically have made a second home inside of him. just like he knows that there's going to be something thrown his way, but it'll be soft and ultimately not meant to harm him. it's how he's primed to catch the pillow with one hand, fingers digging into the fabric so it's not accidentally deflected into sarang's face instead. he's laughing, of course, because ren's still so predictable to him this way and he delights in it.

"don't you know, ren? peeling a tangerine in one ribbon is supposed to mean you're good husband material, or something. i don't know, i saw it on tiktok once." he throws the pillow back, as he's sure ren also expects him to do. "you know, in real life, not in video games." he teases, though he's just as plugged-in to the digital world. maybe even more than ren is these days, the latter more often caught up in training than gunning down the enemy in yet another multiplayer first person shooter.

their 'fight' probably could have dragged on indefinitely, like they often do, if it wasn't for the intervention of sarang between them. alex doesn't have time to think about being jealous over ren's kiss on the cheek before he's rewarded with one of his own. yet somehow, that's still not enough. he pouts, unashamed to act a little cute and childish if it gets him what he wants. "what, that's it? just on the cheek?" he complains, as if he doesn't get enough kisses regularly. it's been so long since he's been able to hold sarang, kiss him, touch him; so what if he's a little greedy for more all the time? "we are playing nice. i haven't even mentioned how i'm the better shot and my score in aim trainer proves it."

he's tempted to pull sarang into his lap, to keep him from leaving even for just a moment, but ultimately alex lets him go do whatever it is that inspired him to leave their comfortable arrangement on the couch. it's enough that sarang is back soon enough with a basket of fruit, settling back into his original position.

alex hears the impishness in sarang's voice, the unspoken promises in his proposed reward and the way he goads them both on oh so subtly. he loves it. a grin spreads across his face in return as he reaches over to grab a tangerine from the basket. "it'd be fun if we put something on the line too, wouldn't it?" he challenges ren. "and don't worry, i'm not your twitch chat. i'm not gonna ask you to wear a cat maid outfit or audition for another survival show."

[bexalex]

bone apple teeth.

@jindallaebe

"so what's on the menu?" alex makes himself comfortable on jindallae's couch, flopping down and sprawling out as if he owns the place. honestly, he probably should have come to bother his good friend sooner but his first few weeks back in korea were... otherwise occupied. there was a lot to catch up on elsewhere! but the point is that he's here now anyway, demanding attention and food from a guy he knows is perfectly capable of supplying both.

jindallae might be alex's last remaining friend who hasn't signed his life away to an entertainment company and alex couldn't be more grateful for it. his days are shockingly quiet now, not at all what he remembered from the time before he returned to canada for a few months. he used to be busier too; the sudden trip put his studies on hold, his gaming career basically in shambles, and suddenly he finds himself with a lot of free time on his hands with no one to help him fill it.

"have you ever had a beaver tail?" he asks suddenly. he knows his friend is more of a chef than a baker, but it's similar right? "it's a canadian delicacy... here, look at this," he doesn't explain to jin at first that it's not literally a beaver's tail as he pulls up images on his phone. instead, he shows a dessert named for the part of the animal it resembles. "it's like a donut. i'd try to make it for you sometime but i think i'd probably set the kitchen on fire, i don't know the first thing about frying dough."