A crazy mass murderer. That's all you are.

Nothing more. Let me see... you can call me N {{Please check out about/headcanons before RPing.}}

[a-succession]

i’m trying really hard.

[iamxkira]

I don’t know how I really feel

[yourtimeisnear]

I have all these accounts but no inspiration. No passion anymore.

[yourtimeisnear]

Open

“Did you want something?”

[yourtimeisnear]

Sick Sentiment

[yourtimeisnear]

Near just watched him. The cold had affected his ability to keep control of his emotions, so it seemed. But the younger boy managed to keep the illusion of being calm anyway. When the toy was thrown across the room, it was the only time Near broke eye contact with the blond, looking over to see where it had landed - and if - by a miracle - it was still on one piece.

Right then, Near despised emotions.

He looked back towards Mello, then moved the toy from his lap and held it out towards him. “If you’re so intent on breaking a sentimental toy, then why not do the same with the ones I do play with? Please, I insist.” A small pause, as if to contemplate his next words before he spoke again. “Please, Mello, take away the only thing I have to escape from the shitty, lonely world you’ve helped to create. I have more. I’ll even lead you to my room to watch you trash the place. Though I doubt Roger would appreciate that.” —Another pause, then he lowered the toy, before dropping it onto the floor.

"This is one of the rare occasions where you have hurt me emotionally Mello. I find that incredible. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was already half way there, I would begin to give you the credit for it. Now… if you really don’t have anything better to do than begin to shout at me and break one of the only connections to the past that I own, I suggest going to revise. It seems as though you’d need it. Even with my being sick."

[bloodredbeads]

     All he did was stare when the other boy held the toy out to him, insisting on having it broken. He’d never seen Near react so emotionally to one of his own mindless actions before. That’s what rendered him speechless. Mello watched with wide eyes as the toy was dropped and as he was practically kicked out of the Common Room. This was something he never expected to happen. Did that mean he’d succeeded, or was it a false win because the albino boy was sick? 

     He’d never know what made him do it, but Mello abruptly stood with an irritable huff and sprinted towards where the small car had landed, across the Common Room in a matter of seconds. He knelt on the hardwood floor and scooped the toy into his hands. There was a dent in the side where it had hit the wall and one of the side view mirrors was missing, though it wasn’t damaged too badly. The blond let out a sigh before he stood again, taking his time on getting back to where Near was. 

     "This doesn’t mean I care," he muttered, reluctantly sitting down across from Near once more. 

[yourtimeisnear]

A slight notion of surprise passed his features. He went to pick up the car? And he was coming back? Near watched him for a moment, then looked away. He felt like crap. And the fact that Mello was talking to him was not helping in any way. The albino wasn't used to emotions, and for them to get out of hand was a rarity. He felt exposed, and uncomfortable. Now all he wanted to do was go back to his room. Perhaps the equivalent of him sulking.

But he stayed. He watched as Mello returned to his seat, his eyes falling on that toy he had gone to collect. It wasn't too bad, considering Mello's tendencies. Though, he couldn't see it very well.

Near turned his attention to the toy he had dropped on the floor himself, moving it to stand on its wheels, and fiddling with it as the younger boy pushed it forward and backwards with a single finger. He didn't want to look at Mello. But that would almost be like admitting defeat..

❝You're still here. I believed you didn't enjoy talking to me.❞ He paused, and looked up after a few seconds. ❝Is it broken?❞

[yourtimeisnear]

Sick Sentiment

[bloodredbeads]

     His grip around the toy car tightened until he could feel the edges of the object digging into his skin. That wasn’t true. He was sure he’d clearly stated that he was only sitting on the wooden floor with his rival as a last resort. That was the only reason. 

     "You don’t really think I enjoy your company, do you?” Mello spat out the emphasized word like venom. He would have scowled, but the toy car in his hand was unwillingly reminding him that somewhere, deep inside the cold, cracked crevasses of the boy’s heart, was still a small amount of care, and he stupidly appreciated that; maybe even longed for it. The thought nearly made him vomit. 

     In a fit of ire, he flung the small toy across the Common Room with a growl. He instantly regretted the action, but he masked that regret with a sneer. The blond took note of where the object had landed, however; he was going to return for it later. 

[yourtimeisnear]

Near just watched him. The cold had affected his ability to keep control of his emotions, so it seemed. But the younger boy managed to keep the illusion of being calm anyway. When the toy was thrown across the room, it was the only time Near broke eye contact with the blond, looking over to see where it had landed - and if - by a miracle - it was still on one piece.

Right then, Near despised emotions.

He looked back towards Mello, then moved the toy from his lap and held it out towards him. "If you're so intent on breaking a sentimental toy, then why not do the same with the ones I do play with? Please, I insist." A small pause, as if to contemplate his next words before he spoke again. "Please, Mello, take away the only thing I have to escape from the shitty, lonely world you've helped to create. I have more. I'll even lead you to my room to watch you trash the place. Though I doubt Roger would appreciate that." --Another pause, then he lowered the toy, before dropping it onto the floor.

"This is one of the rare occasions where you have hurt me emotionally Mello. I find that incredible. If it wasn't for the fact that I was already half way there, I would begin to give you the credit for it. Now... if you really don't have anything better to do than begin to shout at me and break one of the only connections to the past that I own, I suggest going to revise. It seems as though you'd need it. Even with my being sick."

[yourtimeisnear]

Sick Sentiment

[yourtimeisnear]

"I may have the highest IQ, Mello, but that doesn’t mean I have the same capabilities with emotions. Which is why I chose not to acknowledge them in the same way you, or any of the others decide to." Near sighed, and looked back to the other toys in front of him, beginning to play with them again. It was impossible to talk to Mello, sometimes, and the fact that he couldn’t express some particular things irritated him. Regardless, the other had the old toy car now. He could leave.

[bloodredbeads]

Lips pursed at the younger male’s response, but only when he returned his gaze to the toys on the hardwood floor. It was like the boy could read his mind; it always felt that way. Mello did everything to avoid being an open book — easily read and understood by simple minds — and, with most people, it worked. However, with him, it was different. No matter how strong a wall he put up to create a barrier between the albino’s mind and his own, he always managed to break it down and effortlessly look past it. He’d never admit it to himself, but that was one of the sole reasons why the blond was envious of Near’s complete control over every emotion he had; his blank stare; his unreadable eyes. 

"I don’t think you have the capability of feeling at all. It’s no wonder you own a collection of little robots. ‘Cause that’s what you are; a cold, heartless, meaningless, little robot.”

That was Mello’s way of hiding his feelings; masking them with different, but similar, feelings. Since the feelings he masked the genuine ones with were so similar to each other, it’s possible that the genuine feeling could begin to leak into the false one. Maybe that was his downfall. Maybe that’s why Near could read him with so much ease. The older boy even caught it when he finished speaking; the small amount of jealousy that had unwillingly seeped into his words towards the end. He just prayed that Near wouldn’t be able to expose his lie. 

[yourtimeisnear]

The white-headed boy paused at that, but didn't look up from the toys he was playing with on the floor. That stung. After he had just given him a sentimental object, and attempted to at appear at least a little understanding to the blond's emotions --... Perhaps it wasn't the best thing to do to let his guard down. He knew Mello - he knew he was emotional, and spiteful at times. The simple fact that Near had even taken that toy car out of his pocket, showed he was sick. It seemed as though he didn't think right when he was sick.

Though, he didn't regret giving it to his rival. He hadn't thrown it away. And Near would continue to trust him with it until it became apparent that he did.

He picked up one of the toys off the floor, and placed it in his lap, directing his attention - properly, for the first time in the conversation - towards Mello. "Cold, heartless, meaningless little robots are sometimes the best company. You supposedly seemed to think so."

[yourtimeisnear]

While I was away I found some great Death Note RPs. You should follow them~

beyondbirthdaythejamobsessed / cocoaandcocaine

mihxel

And you should always follow: agodandadreamer Genuinely the best OC I've ever followed.

[yourtimeisnear]

+beyondbirthdaythejamobsessed started following you.

Wammy's was safe. It was secure. But sometimes, claustrophobic.

Near had ranked first again in these rounds of tests. Mello missing the score he wanted, this time, by just a few marks. And so, there came the ranting and raving. Near had watched him silently as he was being shouted at; seemingly studying him. The white-haired boy never understood Mello fully. He was so emotional. He made decisions without thinking them through. But-- he was smart. And physically able. Near, on the other hand, wasn't. And in his mind, that seemed to balance up. While he understood the frustration Mello seemed to have, he didn't understand why a few marks made a difference.

After Mello was done, Near was left alone. Alone. That was a good word to describe what he felt at Wammy's. Although the children flocked around him to see his test scores, and maybe a few talked to him in the Common Room -- no one really understood him. Perhaps the closest person was L. Maybe Roger. But they could hardly be considered friends - they were mentors.

Claustrophobic. Near never went outside, but what Mello had said while he was yelling at him was getting to him slightly. Perhaps a little fresh air would make him feel better. The children were allowed to go out of the orphanage, as long as they told Roger where they were going and was above a certain age. But with no particular destination in mind, and only planning to stay out less than half an hour, he didn't see the need.

Half way down a street in Winchester though, Near paused, getting the strange feeling that someone was following him. Maybe it wasn't a good idea going out just as it was getting dark. 

[wh0rehound-main]

               ”Can you get your goons off of me?”

She doesn’t feel like being manhandled by SPK agents today.

[yourtimeisnear]

Near looked up, and turned to look at Florence and the agents. He sighed, quietly. Why did they never tell him before hand? The white-headed boy made a brief excuse to get off the phone with some important power, before turning around fully. ❝I understand you don't like her. There is no need to act as though you're protecting the royal family from her every time she enters the building, though. Let her go and leave.❞

Once the agents grumbled and left, Near looked towards Florence. ❝I'm sorry. Not a lot of people like to come here. They take every opportunity they get to look 'hard'.❞ A pause. ❝Are you okay, Florence?❞

[yourtimeisnear]

Hey! Whoa, there's still a lot of you following me. That's a good sign, I guess. I'll be semi-active on this account. Meaning, I'll only be doing a few threads. If anyone wants me to reply to a RP we had before I disappeared, you're welcome to like this, and I'll get to it.

Also, it's exam time for me. Totally not a good time to come back on this account. But hey, what can I say? So, I may be disappearing again for short periods of time. But I will be checking in. So send me a message, and I'll try respond.

~Billy.

[yourtimeisnear]

[ because I'm useless at keeping up with everything, I've decided to put all my RP accounts on hold and focus on one - hopefully one I can stay on for a while. So if you wanna RP with a Matt, please come and follow me and we can do stuff! I'm.. bored. ]

[yourtimeisnear]

[ oh my god everything hurts. ]

[yourtimeisnear]

It's Zoe, here to remind you that Tiffany is a little shit who is lovely.

[yourtimeisnear]

Near winced slightly as Mello grabbed his arms, the wounds from the night before hurting slightly from the touch. He instinctively pulled away from him only slightly, but seeing that he wouldn’t be able to get out of the grip, he gave up quickly. —…Near didn’t really understand what was going through Mello’s mind, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to react to what he said. But that was only a simple minor detail when the other pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyes widened only slightly, stilling. “——Mello?”

[jiivxs]

"Hmn? What is it?" Mello sighed and pulled Near onto his lap, holding hm close to his chest, arms wrapped around his waist. "I’m sorry… You’re just too fun to tease sometimes." He smiled, ruffling his curls and offering the albino a smile.

[yourtimeisnear]

Near wasn't too sure how to react to Mello. But.. he couldn't exactly go anywhere, and it wasn't possible to stop him once an idea got into his head. He sighed, and rubbed his cheek where he had unexpectedly kissed him, giving him a slightly annoyed look. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tease me."

[yourtimeisnear]

❝I am busy.❞ Near picked up half the pile of cards, and held them out towards Florence, before picking up a few of the remaining cards and balancing them together on the ground, beginning to build a card castle.He glanced up towards her, ❝I told them not to disturb me. I extended that term to us when you came inside. They don’t particularly like you being here, but they can’t do much about it without losing their jobs. Besides—❞ He turned his attention back towards the castle, ❝It’s been a while.❞

[wh0rehound-main]

Florence smiled ever so slightly, adding the next pair of cards. “It has been. I moved, and I’m no longer with Melo. I’ve adopted a daughter, got a job. I’m becoming the cliche woman on 2014.” She laughed.

[yourtimeisnear]

❝A daughter?❞ Near rose an eyebrow at her; that was the last thing he had expected. Florence wasn't exactly mother material... But he didn't say anything else, and returned to look back towards the castle, ❝So, no more tree to climb to get into your house?❞

[yourtimeisnear]

Near blinked, but stayed still as he felt the hands on his face. He wasn’t, in the least, used to physical contact and this was just… slightly over the top. He decided to stay quiet at Mello’s words, though, and waited expectantly for him to let go before responding.

"—I’m fine, Mello." He stated, then pointedly looked towards the remaining pancakes, as though it would help direct the attention off him.

[jiivxs]

Mello rolled his eyes, he knew Near was awkward, but that only made him want to torment the boy all the more. “Near~” He whispered, or more so purred, as he leaned forward and grabbed Near’s arms, making it unable for him to move. “You’re so cute when you’re nervous.” His voice was low as he growled playfully at him, before pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

[yourtimeisnear]

Near winced slightly as Mello grabbed his arms, the wounds from the night before hurting slightly from the touch. He instinctively pulled away from him only slightly, but seeing that he wouldn't be able to get out of the grip, he gave up quickly. --...Near didn't really understand what was going through Mello's mind, and he wasn't entirely sure how to react to what he said. But that was only a simple minor detail when the other pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyes widened only slightly, stilling. "----Mello?"

[yourtimeisnear]

He flipped one of them over, then turned it back around. He hesitated, then picked up the phone again and replied to the text that he had just received, ❝Sit down.❞ He said, with a motion over towards the space opposite him.

[wh0rehound-main]

"Thought you said you were busy?" She smirked, raising an eyebrow before sitting as he requested. "Why exactly am I sitting instead of, you know, being dragged out by your goons?"

[yourtimeisnear]

❝I am busy.❞ Near picked up half the pile of cards, and held them out towards Florence, before picking up a few of the remaining cards and balancing them together on the ground, beginning to build a card castle.He glanced up towards her, ❝I told them not to disturb me. I extended that term to us when you came inside. They don't particularly like you being here, but they can't do much about it without losing their jobs. Besides--❞ He turned his attention back towards the castle, ❝It's been a while.❞

[yourtimeisnear]

Near looked towards the deck of cards, listening to what she said, before smiling only slightly, and rolling the dice away from him. ❝My thank you’s aren’t sarcastic, Florance.❞ He mumbled, with a tiny bit of sarcasm. He turned his attention towards the cards, and started going through them, pausing ever so slightly on a selective few. Not even half way into the packet, he turned slightly and addressed Florence, ❝How long did it take you to make these?❞

[wh0rehound-main]

She paused, adding a time in her head. “Well, if I can do math correctly, I’d say a year maybe. Give or take a little time.” She shrugged. “The back of the cards have got your calligraphic N on them, by the way.”

[yourtimeisnear]

He flipped one of them over, then turned it back around. He hesitated, then picked up the phone again and replied to the text that he had just received, ❝Sit down.❞ He said, with a motion over towards the space opposite him.