Yea so…I’m gonna be leave everything DA, FA, twitter, kinda everything. I’m gone.
Ok not really but I just needed to grab your attention. XD
Just taking a kinda-ish break. Just in time i guess cause my computer is FUCKED UP for some reason. (All my programs/art…no.)
With the start of a new year ya’ll know how it goes. New projects, be a better person blah blah bklsdfvhigbsdhf
But I do need to start doing something important: Getting my shit together.
This means a few things,
ART
Youtube
Personal
but first off what ya’ll care about most: ART
My two MAIN Focuses will be on the Pokemon Nuzlocke about a slowpoke called “Shatterlocke”. (it means a lot that ya’ll like it. SO MUCH!) And the other is an upcoming Pony-Zombie comic featuring Sunset Shimmer called “The Search for Twilight.” Both will be Adult and feature nudity, sex, language and SO MUCH GORE!!!
Now many of ya know I LOVE to start new project and never finish. While i’m always gonna do NSFW stuff for my blogs, I’ve also thought about doing another simple crappy side comic. About what? I’m not sure? Doomocalypse? Something else? IDK. I’ve learned I have a kinda ‘kink’ for large non-human fems and human males. Maybe something like that? A New nuzlocke? Mass Effect? Dragons? Something Original? IDK What would ya’ll want?
My biggest issue was none of my stories had an end and just turned into this this 7 year project. It was daunting. So now whenever I make a story I WILL have the begining. middle. and end before I devote myself to it.
I also need to start learning animation and game development for my future. Probably nothing will happen with those this year, just practicing and learning. I’ve always wanted to animate and I’m not a fan of most games that are coming out. So yea…that’s a thing.
Youtube
So I’ll be posting my shitty animations and stuff on my youtube channel: Aloirx. Don’t expect much from it.
However my OTHER youtube channel needs to start up again. The Puppet Let’s Player: Gabby Uncleopolips. Spent months working on it and i quit because I didn’t get popular? What’s wrong with me?
Personal
And that brings me to the final thing. I…god…what do I even say about this one? I’ll just ramble.
I’m not ok? IDK I have growing up to do but I’ve ALWAYS know this, I just don’t know how and STILL don’t. I suffer from many things, one of which is heavy depression and intrusive thoughts. I worry and panic because…it feels good for some reason. IDK how to fix this guys. IDK who I am or whatever. I want to be popular, but I don’t want to let people down. I’m not a smart person, but I can feel it. Its like being drunk all the time or a cage around my mind. I can’t think well and it scares me.
Recently I’ve drastically attempted to lose weight, which mean diet, which means low blood sugar, which mean…depression and mood swings and rage. I lose myself and I can’t call for help because someone else is controlling me, another me. Its hard to explain. I want to evolve but idk how. And I lash out because my old friends treated me very VERY cruelly, so idk what a friend is and I think this past week I lost the last few I had.
IDK what do say. I second guess everything, I worry and panic, I REALLY don’t know if anyone read this far or even care. I have so little experience in ANYTHING guys. Like, in anything. Sweet words of encouragement and tough love Do Not affect me anymore. I really don’t know what to do but try to move on as best I can.
(for those who SKIPPED)
Most everything I’ve ever learned has been self taught so I guess this will have to be too. I’m learning to be more disciplined but not obsessive, humble but not self hating, prideful but not arrogant. I’ve been a dreamer, “One day I’ll be great and change the world.” but I never actually put WORK into anything.
IDK how to end this assuming anyone’s still read'n. Honestly IDK what all I need to improve on. So…I hope this at leave game SOME input or whatever into what’s going on, for those who are curious.
Sort version, gonna finish what I started and force my habits to become a better person.
Thanks for putting up with me.
~Alorix~
