Yea soā¦Iām gonna be leave everything DA, FA, twitter, kinda everything. Iām gone.
Ok not really but I just needed to grab your attention. XD
Just taking a kinda-ish break. Just in time i guess cause my computer is FUCKED UP for some reason. (All my programs/artā¦no.)
With the start of a new year yaāll know how it goes. New projects, be a better person blah blah bklsdfvhigbsdhf
But I do need to start doing something important: Getting my shit together.
This means a few things,
ART
Youtube
Personal
but first off what yaāll care about most: ART
My two MAIN Focuses will be on the Pokemon Nuzlocke about a slowpoke called āShatterlockeā. (it means a lot that yaāll like it. SO MUCH!) And the other is an upcoming Pony-Zombie comic featuring Sunset Shimmer called āThe Search for Twilight.ā Both will be Adult and feature nudity, sex, language and SO MUCH GORE!!!
Ā
Now many of ya know I LOVE to start new project and never finish. While iām always gonna do NSFW stuff for my blogs, Iāve also thought about doing another simple crappy side comic. About what? Iām not sure? Doomocalypse? Something else? IDK. Iāve learned I have a kinda ākinkā for large non-human fems and human males. Maybe something like that? A New nuzlocke? Mass Effect? Dragons? Something Original? IDK What would yaāll want?
My biggest issue was none of my stories had an end and just turned into this this 7 year project. It was daunting. So now whenever I make a story I WILL have the begining. middle. and end Ā before I devote myself to it.
I also need to start learning animation and game development for my future. Probably nothing will happen with those this year, just practicing and learning. Iāve always wanted to animate and Iām not a fan of most games that are coming out. So yeaā¦thatās a thing.
Youtube
So Iāll be posting my shitty animations and stuff on my youtube channel: Aloirx. Donāt expect much from it.
However my OTHER youtube channel needs to start up again. The Puppet Letās Player: Gabby Uncleopolips. Spent months working on it and i quit because I didnāt get popular? Whatās wrong with me?
Personal
And that brings me to the final thing. Iā¦godā¦what do I even say about this one? Iāll just ramble.
Iām not ok? IDK I have growing up to do but Iāve ALWAYS know this, I just donāt know how and STILL donāt. I suffer from many things, one of which is heavy depression and intrusive thoughts. I worry and panic becauseā¦it feels good for some reason. IDK how to fix this guys. IDK who I am or whatever. I want to be popular, but I donāt want to let people down. Iām not a smart person, but I can feel it. Its like being drunk all the time or a cage around my mind. I canāt think well and it scares me. Ā
Recently Iāve drastically attempted to lose weight, which mean diet, which means low blood sugar, which meanā¦depression and mood swings and rage. I lose myself and I canāt call for help because someone else is controlling me, another me. Its hard to explain. I want to evolve but idk how. And I lash out because my old friends treated me very VERY cruelly, so idk what a friend is and I think this past week I lost the last few I had.
IDK what do say. I second guess everything, I worry and panic, I REALLY donāt know if anyone read this far or even care. I have so little experience in ANYTHING guys. Like, in anything. Sweet words of encouragement and tough love Do Not affect me anymore. I really donāt know what to do but try to move on as best I can.
(for those who SKIPPED)
Most everything Iāve ever learned has been self taught so I guess this will have to be too. Iām learning to be more disciplined but not obsessive, humble but not self hating, prideful but not arrogant. Iāve been a dreamer, āOne day Iāll be great and change the world.ā but I never actually put WORK into anything.
IDK how to end this assuming anyoneās still read'n. Ā Honestly IDK what all I need to improve on. Soā¦I hope this at leave game SOME input or whatever into whatās going on, for those who are curious.
Sort version, gonna finish what I started and force my habits to become a better person.
Thanks for putting up with me.
~Alorix~
