Honestly I hate being nonbinary/genderqueer.
We live in a 100% binary world, where if your dysphoria is bad enough, doing almost ANYTHING will make you feel like shit and like you’re misgendering yourself.
Need to buy clothes? Choose from two binary sections. Need to go to the bathroom? Better pick which one you pass as. Filling out a form? Gotta choose a binary gender. Want to find a community for something online? Better hope its not specifically separated into “boy” and “girl” communities. Want to call yourself an aesthetic™ term like prince or princess? Haha fuck nope, not for you, peasant.
You sit in a hall for a talk and they address the crowd “ladies and gentlemen!” You want to talk about attraction and people will ask you “do you like boys or girls?” You wanna get involved in gender activism, its men vs women. You meet someone new, and they ask for your pronouns, you have to pray they don’t argue over the validity of yours. Wanna get something as simple as a magazine subscription? They make you put “mr, mrs, or ms.”
You want therapy to help you deal with it all? You better goddamn hope your therapist not only supports being trans, but recognizes your gender as valid rather than a “phase” or god forbid, a symptom of something else. You want hormones or surgery to help your dysphoria? Lmao might not happen unless you pretend you’re binary trans gender. Want a solid support group and community? Wish really hard that your local trans community won’t chase you out for being “fake or confused,” or “making the community look bad,” or being “actually cis trying to sneak into the community.”
We live in a world where, to most of society, we don’t exist; and to the rest of it, we might as well be only an afterthought.
And I hate it. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to just check off “male,” or “female” on a box and have it be true. How many times I wanted to be able to check one off for a sign up like a fucking Pandora account without feeling like I was lying, misgendering, and betraying myself.
And then in trot these little fuckers in the discourse who have the fucking GALL to tell me I don’t face anything particularly for being nonbinary. That nothing I face is possibly different than what binary trans people face. That I don’t have a right to label the easiness of being binary in a binary world, because “that doesn’t exist.” They demand how dare I make up a word to differentiate between what I face for being trans, and what I face for being nonbinary specifically. I can hear “special snowflake” and “transtrender” accusations underneath all their thinly veiled mockeries over the very idea that I might have a different experience deserving recognition.
And I hate myself a little bit more.
baratheonpilled
origamiaround
kianamaiart
