It's Britney, Bitch

Before you ask: yes, I am THE toaster, the exact same one that murdered Bianca /j

[biancastoaster]

Intro post? Intro post.

Hi, I’m Biancastoaster, but I just go by Toaster. I made this blog just so I could be cringe about Carlton Lassiter on main. 20 years old and definitely starting to feel it

Pronouns are they/she, my romantic orientation is heteromantic (although there have been a few women I couldn’t help but think of as very pretty. So I’m still questioning myself a bit), and my sexuality is asexual.

I like to write, but I’m a little slow at it (perfectionism will be the death of me, I swear to god). I do take writing requests, but I do ask that none of it be 18+ (explicit stuff just makes me uncomfortable)

Psych, my beloved

not-psych side blog is @toasters-notpsych-stuff

Shawn imagine blog is @imagine-shawn

My writing:

A Lily By Any Other Name (Is Still A Lily)

[biancastoaster]

watching the entirety of Psych and the actors’ filmography up to this year is like witnessing the aging of fine wine

[biancastoaster]

The way I can literally guarantee that if Lassiter were to go to a gay bar he’d have at least three to four dudes hanging on to his every word as he spews on about some battle during the civil war

[biancastoaster]

Hang on wait let me look this up *typing sounds*

HHHHHHH OH MY GOODNESS WAIT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHDHHSHDJSKDKS

Also of course Shawn just knows the Hanky code, why wouldn’t he?

[biancastoaster]

Y’know what? Fuck it. This is gonna be a oneshot now.

@starfish-spencer @pigeonmilk117 @glovedcourtship @agenderpunked with your blessing, of course. I don’t want to just steal your ideas

[biancastoaster]

The way I can literally guarantee that if Lassiter were to go to a gay bar he’d have at least three to four dudes hanging on to his every word as he spews on about some battle during the civil war

[biancastoaster]

Hang on wait let me look this up *typing sounds*

HHHHHHH OH MY GOODNESS WAIT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHDHHSHDJSKDKS

Also of course Shawn just knows the Hanky code, why wouldn’t he?

[sophsun1]

Psych – 7.11: Office Space

[sinningsprinkles]

[biancastoaster]

working a soul-sucking 9-5 because my dream job — giving Carlton Lassiter kisses and gifts every day forever — does not exist

[biancastoaster]

When I get called Bianca and not Toaster

[hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd]

hey king I’ve noticed you’ve been getting a lot of asks in your inbox about you being autistic and how they’re sort of distressing you. Do you want me to kill them for you, free of charge

You're offering to commit a felony. On my behalf. In my inbox. Do you people think before you send me things? Listen. If — emphasis on "if" — I have some sort of brain dysfunction, then I've been effectively hiding it from my therapist — the only one here with the authority to recommend the diagnosis — during all that therapy I've been winning. Which essentially means, nothing's wrong with me. Whoop whoop, party's over. Everyone go home.

[starlight299]

Buddy, I’m sorry but thinking you can “win” therapy is kinda a huge sign there’s something wrong with you.

Also your therapist can’t actually give you a diagnosis, you have to see some other doctor first that kinda thing, one of my siblings went through it. (Although your therapist can recommend you take the test/diagnostic thing, and probably would if you talked about the civil war to them. It’s called info dumping.)

[hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd]

Learn to read.

[hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd]

i wanna get drunk and snoop through your desk. pls im very nosy and i want to know what secrets you're hiding in there

Public intoxication is a misdemeanor punishable with up to six months jail time. This isn't even mentioning the potential breaking and entering charge. So yes, please, go ahead. I haven't had a good arrest in a while. I'll be waiting.

[biancastoaster]

👀 I am omw

[biancastoaster]

So like, is anyone else going to snap Carlton Lassiter in half in a fit of cuteness overload or should I just go ahead? (Said in a tone that suggests I’m not going to be waiting for an answer)

[the-notorious-s-i-p]

extremely funny casting choice to pick a man that looks like a haunted porcelain doll play a gruff, hypermasculine detective

[hugrsstuff]

Our favorite Head Detective!

[hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd]

hello sir

with your permission ofc

may I court you?

I bring many things to the table, such as:

I dont like squirrels either

your dead clown story? I find it fascinating and would love to hear more

I can supply u with chloroform to help u continue building tolerance to it

I.. like ur sternum bush very much

dear god ur so attractive pls give me one chance

ahem

sorry I lost composure

but do consider my offer sir

my regards.

Slow your roll, pal. If we're going to court, it's going to be the court of law. Probably when I locate the bugs you must have planted near me.

[hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd]

are you a dog?

What does this mean. Answer carefully.

[biancastoaster]

I think they may be asking if you’ve got that dog in you

but I could be wrong

[biancastoaster]

So like, is anyone else going to snap Carlton Lassiter in half in a fit of cuteness overload or should I just go ahead? (Said in a tone that suggests I’m not going to be waiting for an answer)

[hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd]

DON'T?! DO THAT?!

[biancastoaster]

YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT 

DELETE DELETE DELETE AAAAAAAA

[biancastoaster]

The greatest news ever actually

@hd-carlton-lassiter-sbpd