Crying into Ceral

Fuck? im in my mid 20s, for those of yall weird about knowing peoples ages

[heartofaspen]

i love it and hate it when a character in a story is so obviously created to be cool and awesome and then i do think they're cool and awesome. like fuck, yeah, ok, they're fucking epic. swag as hell. you got me you coolbaited me ok? i'm coolbaited.

[salvadorbonaparte]

I wish I could go to a doctor and just list every single symptom I ever experienced no matter how small and unconnected they seem and the doctor is nice and patient and knows everything and they nod and smile and explain that every symptom I ever experienced is connected to like one rare and often overlooked issue that's sooooo easy to fix with like. a pill. and then I never have to worry about anything ever again.

[should-be-sleeping]

Doesn't even have to be nice. Could be House MD about it. Just get it done.

[stevishabitat]

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Is this a fucking joke????

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

This is what I mean about content labels existing as a way to control and suppress posts. I don't believe for a fucking minute this post was automatically assigned. But of course, their stupid fucking AI mod exists so now there's no accountability. The machine cannot make a decision :)

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Is this a fucking joke????

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

This is what I mean about content labels existing as a way to control and suppress posts. I don't believe for a fucking minute this post was automatically assigned. But of course, their stupid fucking AI mod exists so now there's no accountability. The machine cannot make a decision :)

[talking-fox-actual-deactivated2]

I upset a few people in my intro to western philosophy class with this one.

[missouriangothic]

[furbearingbrick]

[monstrifex-art]

Here is my secret hidden wisdom. If you like drawing, and you like porn, try drawing your own porn. It's A) fun as fuck, and B) it will legit make you better at art. Sounds obvious but it took me years and years to try it.

You don't even gotta show nobody if you don't want to. Just make a little secret stash of horny doodles. Just for u <3

[monstrifex-art]

Oh also fun fact, drawing porn is how I met my amazing partner who I love very much. Now we live together and have an adorable cat and draw porn together <333

Don't believe the stigma, smut can be a cool and fun hobby.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Well. It's the Fourth Of July. Again.

For those of you who aren't familiar, I live in an exceptionally flammable part of the United States, and despite the fact that every goddamn year multiple parts of my state catch fire, destroy homes and kill people, the local assholes insist on getting drunk and setting fire to a bunch of illegal explosives anyway. In 2023, God granted me a Miracle that prevented my house from burning down.

Last year, I had to resort to Psychological and Chemical Warfare to keep the patriotic arsonists at bay.

This year is apparently An Important Birthday for the clusterfuck we have the nerve to call a nation, so despite the fact there is so much smoke in the air that the sun has literally been blood red for the last week, the pyrotechnic fetishists are out in force.

Last year, I hit upon the concept that if my neighbors were going to act like problem animals, it would make sense to use the management techniques on them that you might use on say, a Bear that was doing serious property damage. Thusly, I created The Stench, a nontoxic but FOUL smelling concoction that I could discretely spray around the flammable gatherings and render the area extremely uncomfortable to occupy for the rest of the night, forcing them to give up or move on.

If this seems harsh: There is no story from 2024 because a grass fire was started by fireworks less than 12 miles from me and the high winds put me in the evacuation zone in under an hour. Over fifty people lost their homes. Errant fireworks burning my house down is a very real possibility, and I pay the price in anxiety and insurance premiums.

The Stench is noxious but harmless, and also very effective at building a buffer zone around my home. But sneaking up to parties on foot in this heat is both exhausting and nerve-wracking. There have to be more effective ways to do this

-And there is! It involves Weeds and Business Cards :)

All of this spring, I've been battling Bindweed and my City Code Enforcement Officers.

The city code people have been professional, but the truth is that one of my neighbors is calling them on use because one of my housemates is transgender. It's extremely grating to get these notices, having to explain repeatedly that I *AM* working on the weed situation, I just have a heart condition and No Money. It's also deeply paranoia-inducing to know that the city is regularly coming by and photographing my house.

The Solution to the Bindweed is 1 gallon of high-concentration vinegar, half a cup of Borax, a quarter cup of salt, and a couple tablespoons of dish soap. Get one of those weed sprayers from a hardware store and mix it up in there. Spray it on your thistles, bindweed, kudzu, garlic mustard or whatever your local herbaceous invasive is on a day with bright sunlight, and in a few hours the entire part of the plant above the soil is Deceased. It's non-toxic to insects, pets and wildlife (just wait a few months before trying to plant anything in the area for the traces to wash out). The only real downside to this stuff is that it smells HEINOUS.

Sure, The Stench is nauseating, but WeedFucker 5000 is genuinely painful to inhale. Again, it wont hurt people- even my asthmatic housemates can use the stuff- but boy howdy it sure smells toxic. I've got the ingredients for about 40 gallons of WeedFucker 5000 prepared and ready to go.

I've also got a disposable hazmat suit, rubber boots and gloves, respirator, goggles and a shitty little golf cart from the free section of craigslist to haul my shit around in. I also have Business Cards!

See, the very nice officers from the City Code department left some Very Nice business cards so that I may contact them about "the fucking bindweed is gone, get off my back". So I scanned the business card into my computer, fired up Clip Studio, and made my own business cards. I've turned my City's Abstract Triangle Logo into an Eye of Providence and the slogan of "E Pluribus Unum" to "E Plurbis Anus", Changed my city's name to a dumb pun, and stated the card originates from "The Department Of Public Nuisances".

Crucially, where the name and contact information of the real city employee has been replaced with the name and business email of the neighbor who has been bragging on facebook about calling the city code department on my home because he hates my housemate :)

It looks, at a glance, very much like the business cards of city employees. If you look at it for like 5 seconds though, there's no way it could be mistaken for the real thing.

I've printed out 500 of these bad boys and will have them on hand as I, an alleged City Employee, am forced to work overtime on a national holiday doing weed mitigation, because my boss can't manage deadlines for shit. You're mad about it? I've been out here since 5 AM! But I've gotta or the city will audit us and I could get fired. You know what the economy is. Here, this is my Boss's Business card- how about you send him an email about how this has ruined your barbecue?

It's golden hour now, so I'm Suiting Up and preparing to embark on some civil service in the form of Noxious Weed Eradication, and by coincidence, Fire Mitigation.

I'll report back later Tonight🫡

(If you'd like to support your local disabled storyteller in their Acts Of Public Service, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or supporting me on Patreon)

[gloomsday]

I really hate your art

i'm gonna keep drawing bj and hawkeye fucking nasty and there's not a thing you can do about it (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

[rosetylahinthetardis]

i need this embroidered sooo so badly . i don't even go here but the spirit of "I'm gonna keep drawing bj and hawkeye fucking nasty and there's not a thing you can do about it" w the cute face and everything is the summary of my philosophy on everything . ily gloomsday

[mrsterlingeverything]

Dating is so annoying. To be a match you have to make money but not too much money, be attractive but not too intimidating, you have to work out, you have to clean up after you shoot cum all over the wall you have to max all their hearts out and watch their cut scenes you have to not cheat on them with the little green alien that taps on your window every night you have respect their parents even when theyre out of line. Guys it is a lot. I cant do all that honestly. Im fucking the alien rifht now

[victusinveritas]

[molombo]

What does it take to make African mythology real? Everything we had. Over 70% of our Kickstarter Backers came from Tumblr. Thank you. Now it's yours.

ZAIROO is out now.

[officialfoxsquadron]

audiences have no idea how to be uncomfortable anymore

[officialfoxsquadron]

watch movies that make you uncomfortable read books that make you uncomfortable go to plays that make you uncomfortable watch tv that makes you uncomfortable look at paintings and sculpture and artwork that makes you uncomfortable. it is spiritually and morally and ethically and artistically really really good for you. think about why you are uncomfortable. what biases do you bring to art? what biases does the art bring to you? how do you reconcile this? how does your worldview grow and expand and change? all this and more will be answered and available to you if you just engage with art that does not coddle you and treats you like an intelligent human being that can sit through discomfort

[leadjockey]

Black Catsuit Lara. Fan art by me.

[elierlick]

An all-transmasc Ironman trio just won 3rd place in a major men's triathlon, beating over 200 other men's teams. 🏊‍♂️🏃‍🚴‍♂️ Trans men win men's competitions all the time, but nobody pays attention because it doesn't fit the mainstream narrative. I think we should celebrate their victories, too! 🏆

[andmaybegayer]

> looking at a new popular collectible

> ask the people if it's objects or gambling

> they don't understand

> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling

> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"

> look up how to buy a collectible

> its gambling

[andmaybegayer]

> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!

Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.

There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!

[girlishgamine]

You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.

Deceptive Patterns (aka Dark Patterns) - spreading awareness since 2010

The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha

[ralfmaximus]

That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.

[dailymanners]

I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.

Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.

[seasonn]

peeta tried to save him and katniss by saying she had a baby, because he knew that would pull at the capitals heart strings. In a dystopian society, peeta mellark knew the capital would care more about a fetus than the real dying children . this sounds oddly familiar

[polorizedefuega]

Very oddly similar.. the idea of a literal embryo was enough for the capital to demand protection for "the mother's (also a child's) body", yet not feel enough genuine remorse to prevent the deaths of the many children who were already past of being born...hmmm.

[thelaurenshippen]

it's always "did you really need to burn down your workplace to prove a point" and never "how was the revenge arson? did you have fun doing revenge arson? were the flames pretty?"

[thelaurenshippen]

um.

[partasah]

🔥🔥🔥

Context for other users:

On the morning of April 7, 2026, a fire was started at the Kimberly-Clark Distribution Center in Ontario, California. It escalated to a six-alarm fire and took nearly twelve hours to extinguish. The facility was completely destroyed and declared a "total loss". There were no injuries or deaths. An employee who was working in the warehouse is accused of arson.

Authorities stated that the employee had shared videos of himself starting the fire on Facebook, saying "all you had to do was pay us enough to live" and "there goes your inventory" while lighting pallets of toilet paper ablaze.

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS PAY US ENOUGH TO LIVE

No injuries. No deaths. This was a protest fire. This is why unions are important, to prevent frustrations like these, to ensure people are paid enough to live.

🔥🔥🔥🔥