Farewell, Bigby…
Mike Driver
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@bigbwvlf-blog
Farewell, Bigby…
Monsters that growl when they kiss, a sound so deep and low that you can feel the vibrations against your lips.
I’ll miss him
Bɪɢʙʏ Wᴏʟғ Mᴏᴏᴅʙᴏᴀʀᴅ
*sighs sadly*
hey, netflix
“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
— Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund (via books-n-quotes)
based on this suggestions blog. warning: these are pretty dark/angry & could be triggering to some people. please be cautious before proceeding!!
‘ all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly & me to not flinch away without meaning to. when will this stop affecting me? ’ ‘ all i want is to be soft & gentle, but i’m made out of steel & anger. maybe in another life, i guess. ’ ‘ beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so choose to see beauty in everything. ’ ‘ burning it all to the ground & force them to start again. they made you lose everything. now return the favor. ’ ‘ do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own? ’ ‘ do you trust me enough? do you trust me at all? ’ ‘ don’t you dare abandon me. ’ ‘ even after all you have done, i will always want you fighting on my side. ’ ‘ every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again. ’ ‘ everyone i have ever loved is long gone. i sing to the sky alone. ’ ‘ everyone i touch gets hurt, but i can’t stop. i touch & i touch & i touch & people get hurt. why can’t i ever stop? ’ ‘ everyone says i used to be a hero, but i can still taste the blood in my mouth & still feel bruises blooming because of my fists & my eyes are still stretched wide & terrified. ’ ‘ everything i love has been taken from me. what do i have left to fight for? ’ ‘ fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong. ’ ‘ friends are more important than any material object will ever be. ’ ‘ i am aching to hold you & keep you safe, to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you. ’ ‘ i am divine & you will bow before me. ’ ‘ i am fucking divine. ’ ‘ i am in control & i listen to no one. ’ ‘ i am not a good person. don’t pretend i am. ’ ‘ i am not accustomed to love. this is a learning experience. ’ ‘ i am not worth saving & i am not worth redemption. let me stay in the dark. ’ ‘ i am so tired all the time, all i want to do is rest. ’ ‘ i am too tired to deal with any of this. ’ ‘ i bow to no man. ’ ‘ i broke into sharp pieces when i broke & i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together. i’m sorry. ’ ‘ i can give you your wings back & i can show you to fly once more, if you only believe in me. ’ ‘ i cannot be saved. ’ ‘ i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people. i can bear this weight on my own. i have to. ’ ‘ i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you, but i loved you too much to notice. ’ ‘ i crave affection in the simplest way. ’ ‘ i deserve to hurt. i deserve to bleed. ’ ‘ i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me. ’ ‘ i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer, as long as it leaves your lips. ’ ‘ i don’t fight for you anymore. ’ ‘ i don’t want to let go of you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to remember. i don’t want to heal. all i want is for it to go away. ’ ‘ i don’t want you to touch me. please don’t touch me, just go away. ’ ‘ i feel anger deeper than my bones. i feel anger in my very soul. ’ ‘ i feel nothing at all, except for when i feel everything all at once. ’ ‘ i have fallen & though i may miss the sky, i belong here now. ’ ‘ i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine. ’ ‘ i have no home anymore. ’ ‘ i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand & then i remember nothing. ’ ‘ i see beauty in everything, but especially in you. ’ ‘ i should never have fallen in love with you. ’ ‘ i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me. now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away. ’ ‘ i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe. ’ ‘ i will never amount to anything. i am a failure in the worst type of way. ’ ‘ i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me & maybe someday it will be true. ’ ‘ if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore. ’ ‘ if you ask me to, i will set the whole world on fire, my dear. it’s all for you. ’ ‘ is it my fault? it’s my fault. it’s always my fault. ’ ‘ it’s not murder if they deserved it, right? ’ ‘ i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me, choking on anger & suffocating on sadness. ’ ‘ i’m in love with everything that hurts me. ’ ‘ i’m okay. i’m alright. this is all in my mind. ’ ‘ i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me. ’ ‘ i’m so cold & i can’t stop shaking. i am not who you think i am. ’ ‘ i’m so tired all the time & i just want to be awake again. ’ ‘ i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten. i just want someone to remember me. ’ ‘ i’m tired of fighting everything in my life. just make it stop. ’ ‘ i’m too tired to care. blow up, get angry at me. i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it. ’ ‘ jealousy burns within me. ’ ‘ just let me go in peace for once in my damn life. ’ ‘ loneliness is a disease & it leaves me empty & hollow, like sound goes through my body & bounces back. ’ ‘ made of starlight & sunshine, i shine brighter than they all know. ’ ‘ my anger is righteous & my actions are pure. ’ ‘ my chest aches & my lungs burn. this sickness comes from the inside. ’ ‘ my chest hurts & all i need is some comfort & understanding. ’ ‘ my chest hurts & i ache to go back to the sky. ’ ‘ my shoulders are aching where wings used to be & all i want is for them to stop hurting. ’ ‘ pull me apart & piece me together in your own way. make me perfect. ’ ‘ righteous fury throws through my veins & if you touch the people i love i will destroy you. ’ ‘ rise up. you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more. ’ ‘ say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue. ’ ‘ so much blood has been spilled in my name. time to make you believe it was in yours. ’ ‘ so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent, but not when i scream & plead for help? fuck off. ’ ‘ sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want. ’ ‘ stay away from my fucking friends. stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you. ’ ‘ stop treating me like i’m an idiot. you aren’t better than me in any way & you better remember that. ’ ‘ the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue. ’ ‘ the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it. ’ ‘ to love them is my divine right. ’ ‘ voices whisper from the shadows & they fill my mind with thoughts of you. ’ ‘ what did i to wrong to be so unloved? ’ ‘ what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it? ’ ‘ who the fuck do you think you are? ’ ‘ why can’t i ever fucking stop crying? ’ ‘ with a new year comes new tests & triumphs. let’s try to make the most out of it. ’ ‘ would it really kill you to be honest for once? ’ ‘ yes, i remember my wings breaking & being destroyed. i was powerless to stop it. ’ ‘ you are not required to love your parents, or to even like them. ’ ‘ you can’t hate me more than i hate myself, but you are more than welcome to try. ’ ‘ you may say you love me, but you love only a part of me. i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being. ’ ‘ you never fucking cared about me. don’t fucking lie about it. not to me. ’ ‘ you remind me of mint. fresh, sharp, kind of cold, but in a nice way. i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite. ’ ‘ you shine light in even the darkest parts of me. you are my sun. ’ ‘ you should fear me, but you don’t. i will be eternally puzzled, yet grateful. ’ ‘ you touch me & my skin burns & it burns for you, always you. ’
there is one particular Fables page I feel on a personal level and here it is:
@disasterpieces
@disasterpieces:
that’s all he’s picked up from her? just miss him like he’s some kid going away to college – lips pursed tightly as she kept her back to him, sinking in a little deeper into the pillow with her eyes lowering and closing ultimately, “ goodnight, bigby, ” why fight on it? it’s clear her emotions in the mix, if there was ever a day he dies, wouldn’t matter to him. death was certainly peaceful, she agrees but not to those who care – and love the one that goes… she’s not sure what’s truly making her this emotional about it, maybe she hasn’t spilled out completely what she feels for bigby (not that he’d care, at this point.)
there’s a small smile at her probably deliberately chosen answer. really, he doesn’t need anything more than that, but the side of him that harbors every emotion other than anger isn’t satisfied. rolling onto his elbow, he shifts closer, arm wrapping around her waist to tug her towards him and onto her back. he’ll wait for piercing eyes to open, give him the response he knows she won’t speak aloud, and all without even asking again. it’s uncharacteristic of him to be so forward, but he lacks any will to find it in himself to care, eyes trained on features. “ i’m not goin’ anywhere, snow... you can count on that. ”
give me a damn cigarette —— drowning in regret , jack daniels on my breath.
im pretty sure by now “tired” is just part of my personality description
3 LITTLE WORDS... || starter pack
Send me one to see how my muse reacts. Some are fluffy, some are angsty, some are smutty, some are something else entirely…
Some of these may be triggering or NSFW!
“I love you.”
“I hate you.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“I guess so…”
“I guess not.”
“Love me, please.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“Please, hold me.”
“Pain changes people.”
“You haven’t changed.”
“Please don’t go.”
“Look behind you.”
“Go kill yourself.”
“I can change.”
“Don’t ever change.”
“Want a hit?”
“Do you smoke?”
“Fuck me now.”
“Take my hand.”
“Lead the way.”
“Duck and cover!”
“Just go home.”
“Take me home.”
“Walk me there?”
“Everyone, shut up!”
“Just shut up.”
“Please stop it.”
“Please don’t die.”
“I need you.”
“I want you.”
“Want a hug?”
“Want a kiss?”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you lying?”
“That’s the truth.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Oh my God.”
“For fuck’s sake!”
“I got it.”
“I found it.”
“Call me later.”
“Text me later.”
“Don’t call me.”
“Are you crying?”
“I wasn’t crying.”
“Please don’t laugh.”
“Please don’t cry.”
“That’s a lie.”
“What’d they say?”
“What’ll it be?”
“It’s last call.”
“It’s almost midnight.”
“Do you promise?”
“That’s a promise.”
“Are you serious?”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“I punched him.”
“I killed him.”
“I kissed him.”
“I love him.”
“I hate him.”
“I lied before.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not sorry.”
“I’ll come over.”
“Can you come?”
“Want to cuddle?”
“Maybe we should.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t.”
“You don’t say.”
“Make me come.”
“Did you come?”
“I stole it.”
“I broke it.”
“Any bones broken?”
“Are you okay?”
“Are you hurt?”
“That must’ve hurt.”
“He was lying.”
“It’s our song.”
“Can I help?”
“Help me out.”
“Please, for me?”
“Anything for you.”
“I doubt it.”
“I believe you.”
@disasterpieces:
“ i know, i was thinking of how it just might affect others around you, ” a slight snip may have gotten past her defenses but she can’t help it: she cares. no matter their age and how long they’ve seen the world shift for hundreds of years, it still stings. she wanted to bury her nose in the book a little deeper but she fears it won’t work now. instead, she closes the book and puts it next to her nightstand with a collective sigh past her nostrils, shifting herself to place her head on the pillow — she’s not mad at him, just the thought of losing him makes her uneasy.
“ not sure it’d be hard to find a new sherriff, ‘specially with beast around. ” it was no secret he’d be best suited to take on the job should misfortune strike, hence why bigby was training him on the sidelines... maybe her spoken thought is deeper than that, though, something more along the lines of personal relationships and specifically, their relationship with each other. he doesn’t have to look at her to know she’s upset by his comments, but her sigh pulls earthy orbs in her direction anyway. “ you sayin’ you’d miss me? ”