People who build their houses in your heart @bill-sees-the-ghosts - Tumblr Blog

Lighting another mans cigarette with your cigarette?? While it’s in your mouth??? You could fuck in front of me and it would be less gay

fanficmemes

Lighting another mans cigarette with your cigarette?? While it’s in your mouth??? You could fuck in front of me and it would be less gay

legsdemandias

Im not a parent, but I know that so many issues with kids misbehaving could be solved by giving them a simple task to complete instead of just yelling “stop” until they cry

legsdemandias

Over the summer I went to an art museum with my S/O and their son (age 10). The son wasn’t as engaged as we’d hoped, but also we probably should have known.

He whined about and my S/O said “we went to legoland for you, this is for us adults” which is fine, but that didn’t stop him from whining about.

Immediately jumping into teacher mode, I pulled out my notebook and a pen and I said “hey, every time we stop to look at a painting for a while, I want you to draw it.” He didn’t draw a single picture. I showed him how to do it, still didn’t draw a single picture…but he also stopped whining. He couldn’t complete the task, but his focus was taken away from “I don’t want to be here” and was transferred to “what does this image look like? how can i draw this”

It doesn’t always work, but it teaches kid to channel energy and focus instead of wondering what “stop” means. Because “stop” really means “do something else”.

banans13

YES OP!!!!

So many parents don’t realize their kids are BORED! That they have the same feelings and worries that you as an adult do, and that giving them an engaging task actually helps them change the behavior you have a problem with.

One of the first lessons I learned about teaching when I worked as an aide at my religious school was not to tell kids to “stop” running or “stop yelling” but to phrase things in the positive. For example - Stop running becomes “Please walk.” No yelling becomes “Use an inside voice.” This turns the request/rule into a positive action they can think about, rather than a way to shut down a negative.

Similarly, the reason so many kids use their parents phones is 1) they see you doing it all day, and they want to be like you. 2) they are BORED, and just like when YOU are bored they know the magic rectangle has entertainment. 3) parents literally forget they can make sure their kids have other forms of entertainment available.

I’m talking about your kid having a book to read, a note pad to write or draw in, small dolls or toys to play and fidget with. My mom never left the house without a bag of crayons in her purse and a little notebook. That way if we kids forgot to bring something to do and we’re feeling antsy we would always have something to channel out energy into.

This post makes me think about the time I was on the train and there was a family of four sitting in front of me and my partner. The boy was reading a books but the girl was whining about being bored and asking for one of her parents phones. They kept just saying no and not offering to engage her in any other way. Half out of a desire to help and half out of not feeling like listening to her whine I offered to let her doodle in the sketch book that I had brought along with me (my mother trained me well).

Y’all. Her eyes lit UP! What could have been an agonizing 45 minute ride for so many people turned into a moment of joy for her parents, for her and her brother, and for me. I really just can’t stand people who have nothing better to do than hate on kids when literally all they need sometime is someone to step up and care about them and their needs.

This got long, but the point is finding ways to help kids and young people find the joy is sometimes so easy, and remember: if you’re bored, they might be too.

prismatic-bell

I was in Goodwill and this little kid was running around pretending to be Sonic and his mother was doing the whole “stop that,” “quit your running,” “if you don’t calm down I’ll” thing and he just kept replying “I’m Sonic!”

So finally I leaned out of line and said “hey Sonic, you’re NEVER gonna find that chaos emerald if you don’t slow down” LO AND BEHOLD.

Guess whose solution worked.

noodles-and-tea-deactivated2023

Richie but slightly older

personallbest

@pscentral event 08: favorite dynamics (layout)

noodles-and-tea-deactivated2023

Eddie my love, I love you so

peachjelliedd

here, have some old reddie art bc there are many different dead eddies to be emo over

liv45no

clownfhae-deactivated20231008

They kissin in the dirty clown house (still more old art teehee- this was a rush doodle off of a pose i saw online tho <33)

charlieism

literally want to end it all whenever i remember richie basically forming a blood bond with eddie while holding his hand with the word lover between them

humuhgod

"there, there."

mardyart

scary clown movie art in 2022???????

inkskinned

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.