Enter my lair

- (multiship roleplayer) trigger warning- I am heavily nc18/nsfw. This is a lgbtq+ friendly blog run by a goth who doesn't give a fuck. Everyone is welcome.

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Just took a look at my inbox for the first time in years and first of all, I hadn’t been alerted of any messages since like... 2018 and second of all WOW. Some of them are.. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Hello! Don’t use your friends as therapists- they’re not there for you to whine at and that isn’t friendship at all, THAT is a toxic relationship. Thank you and good day!

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

The Irony of this Sentence - Immediately I got into an abusive friendship where in I was isolated from all my good friends more and more over time because I was their “comfort person” and thus apparently had to be on retainer at all time. Just because they ask you if it’s okay doesn’t mean that it is or that you have to say yes. Sometimes someone is just a taker.

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Yes, I am dead xD

Technically I’m alive so if you wanna get in touch again, feel free to dm; I’mma be here for a little bit though I don’t know how long and will happily give out my new contact info! <3

[y5d8z6vz7a-deactivated20180404]

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

[brodiebutt]

[katherinearandez]

[wsswatson]

[katherinearandez]

I am obligated to reblog this again, because it is now Superwholock, and therefore perfection.

[fatefulfindings]

people need to remember that every tumblr post in 2012 was like this

[vile-lithium3]

[whunt]

[gluten-free-pussy]

Somebody plz translate this

[nanalineni]

Thigh high socks and femboy stuff used to be heavily associated with trans people, but due to its “anime” aesthetic and popularity on YouTube internet fascists have latched unto it. The same is starting to happen now with cottage core which originates in a desire to push back away from alienation born of capitalism by like living in a house with your close ones where you grow your own stuff, away from the city. Fascists are using the same aesthetic to promote traditionalist values, in a way that’s like, they attract unsuspecting people by using the aesthetic, dilutes in their nauseating ideologies in a discrete way and progressively radicalise people. Same for ecofascism, they use the general climate of fear and anger at governments’ inaction regarding climate change to propagate their ideas on eugenics among other things.

Basically they know how to identify codes and trends that resonate among the younger internet users on the most popular social networks, repeat them while adding in their ideologies and thus slowly recruit more people.

[freakxwannaxbe]

This is exactly why people need to start fighting and taking back their things, whether it be their comfort places, culture, or symbolism.

It’s so nauseating seeing something like this happen constantly, and it does. From minuscule things like memes and online culture to more serious like cultural symbols and ideals, fascists and the alt right in general keep stealing it, and instead saying “that’s enough”, people react with “well, it can’t be helped, we now can’t use that anymore.” and let them completely perverse something that belonged to others completely to serve their shitty ideals.

Ask yourself, how often do you internally feel red lights go off when you see, lets say, pagan Slavic symbols like the kolovrat? Or a lot of Nordic mythology symbols and runes? Do you associate these with the current neo-nazi and alt-right movement? As a Slav, do you know how much this fucking hurts? They stole from us. They stole our culture. I refuse to let them do that anymore. I imagine a lot of Scandinavian countries feel the same about their own culture being perversed.

Remember the “ok” hand sign suddenly turning in to a dog whistle? Remember how Pepe, against all wishes of the original author who created him as a loving cool character, turned in to a symbol of the alt-right? Think back and remember each time this has happened and realize just how often it does.

I see it happening as well, I see the people worming their way in to the witch community and trying to make it the same way. Look at TERFs, they’re trying to appropriate the Witch aesthetic for their own. Fuck them. They don’t deserve it. I won’t allow it.

Stop letting them steal. Stop letting them get away with it. Take the shit they stole back. It isn’t theirs.

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Hello! Don’t use your friends as therapists- they’re not there for you to whine at and that isn’t friendship at all, THAT is a toxic relationship. Thank you and good day!

[longtomsilver28-deactivated2024]

*Waves* Hi!!! I don't know if you remember me, but I just remembered you and Tomi (I don't think I ever learned their name) and wanted to get back in touch! I can't find them for some reason but I see you're still here!

Yes!! i remember you!! hello sweetie... I will message you about “tomi”  i missed you!!

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Yay!! Hiii!!! I missed you too! :D

[muertawrites]

me: i am INSPIRED i want to WRITE

my brain, immediately: i have never once even seen a sentence

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Open to really disturbing threads please

[drugged-past]

Papa, Please | Closed

[drugged-past]

He gave a soft sound of happiness, and hugged her to his chest. “I love you little fawn.” Aster kissed the top of her head, glad that she was still willing to go on daddy daughter dates. She was getting older, but she was still his baby. The vampire loved her as if she was his own. “It’s our secret, but you will always be Papa’s favorite.” Aster chuckled, sighing as he hugged her. Being her father was the best job, best title he could ever ask for. “Is there anything you’d want to do today? Unless you want to go find mummy and beg her with me for more children running amuck.” He smiled.

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Katrina chuckled as he said she would always be his favorite. “You haven’t even met the others yet!” She teased and leaned into her father. A loud snort left her mouth as he mentioned going to beg Bill for more siblings. Despite Bill’s best efforts to help her grow up into an elegant woman, she was still a bit Tom boyish, exasperating Bill with such things as loud burbs at the dining table when they were eating, which after a few years of actually eating well, both she and her mother had finally filled out. They actually looked more related than before, having almost identical enviable curves.

“Actually I was thinking we could go to the museum and then maybe go hiking in the back yard- you know how much I adore you teaching me about things from the past.”

[drugged-past]

Seeing her pale, his heart sank. “Hey, its okay. Listen, you’re safe with mummy and I.” Aster gently ran his knuckles against her cheek. “I just wanted to make sure you knew about it, and you do. We don’t have to talk about it ever again, but if one day you do…I’ll be right here to listen.” He was trying to be calm and understanding, but he wanted to search for this teacher and make them suffer. “Little fawn, I love you.” Aster kissed her forehead, before going back to plate her fish fingers and custard, making her milk. After a moment he placed it down in front of her, before sitting across from her. “If its awful be honest.” The vampire wasn’t used to cooking. “What’s it like when you go to bed?” Aster didn’t know their nightly routine. 

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

She nodded, rubbing her arms, practically clawing at her skin. “Th-Thank you Papa... I don’t ever wanna see Mr. Munch again.” She took a deep breath and immediately dipped a fish stick in the custard, taking a sad bite before her face lit up. “Papa, it’s delicious!” She cooed as she ate happily. As he asked her night time routine, she paused in hoovering up her food to respond. “Um... mommy makes me bathe first, reminding me to wash being my ears. I brush my teeth, and then he tucks me in. He usually sings me to sleep, but if his throat hurts, he reads to me. I fall asleep during that.” She said, almost like she was reciting a text book before she began eating again, clearly enjoying the food. In fact, both she and Bill were a little too thin, Bill to a potentially hazardous manner, his very nice shirt slightly oversized, and his skinny jeans what should’ve been perfect for his age and height, but both seemed to almost swamp him. Katrina was a little better, her face still full and chubby, but her wrists a little too dainty, her waist a little too delicate for her age.

[drugged-past]

“Strawberry milk it is.” Aster smiled, fish sticks in the oven while he made up a bowl of custard for her. Discussing the significance of Aster pulling out her chair, he stopped and got to her eye level. “Well little fawn, its polite for someone to pull out a chair. When you get older and start dating, a man should always pull out a chair for you…hold doors open for you. If you happen to date a woman someday then you should try to show her the same respect.” He tilted his head to the side and huffed. “Does that make sense darling?” She was still young, he just hoped she understood respect. “Has mummy taught you about bad touches?” Aster knew something like this for a child may seem to soon, but he wanted her to know some basic things. The world wasn’t always kind, and he hoped he could help prepare her for that. 

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Katrina listened enraptured and then paled as he mentioned bad touches, looking like she might cry. “He... didn’t have to... we had to move because... I had a... a teacher...” she whimpered, swallowing thickly as she looked away. It was clear that although she was a strong little girl, whatever had happened had made her too scared to talk about it. “Papa, can we... not talk about that?” She asked softly.

[drugged-past]

As Katrina sat at the table, he wasn’t all that off put by the order as he didn’t comprehend human taste buds. If it was deemed somewhat nutritious, and she requested it then he’d make it. “And to drink? I have an assortment of juices, water, milk flavored and plain.” The vampire was already getting everything set, trying not to focus on where Bill was. “Little fawn, did you notice anything about how Papa brought you into the kitchen?” Aster wanted to make sure that something as small as pulling out a chair stuck in her mind. He didn’t want any child of his ‘settle’ for unmannered swine!  

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Katrina beamed happily. “Strawberry milk?! I love strawberry milk.” She hummed as he asked her if she noticed anything. “Um... you pulled out my chair? Mommy usually lifts and puts me in it.” She said thoughtfully. She seemed to not really understand the significance.

[drugged-past]

Papa, Please | Closed

@billa-kaulitz-engel​     Continued from here 

“My sweet little fawn,” Aster cooed as she mentioned wanting to have someone else to play with. She was getting older and that was a difficult concept for the vampire, as he would always remember the little girl who threatened to kick him in the shins. “I will have a talk with mummy, promise.” Aster was hopeful, maybe if he offered to take up most of the upbringing Bill would say yes. The other always seemed stressed. With the discussion of Mr. Wobbles, he scowled. “Damn cat’s an evil villain I swear. He hates me. I only keep him around cuz you love him.” 

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Seeming to sense what the other was worried about, Katrina grinned broadly. “You still better take me on daddy daughter dates! I love those!” She giggled softly to herself. As the other mentioned Mr. Wobbles, she chuckled softly and shook her head. “That and he convinces Mommy to slow down and take time for himself,” she teased gently.

[drugged-past]

“Hey Papa?” Katrina asked as she surveyed her mass of my little pony stuffed animals. “If I wanted a sister, do you think you and mommy would ever think of adopting someone else?”

The vampire smiled, as his daughter called his name. “Yes, my little fawn?” His eyes were locked on her, caught off guard by her question. However, he gave it some thought. “You’d have to talk to mummy, but I would love to have another dark princess at my side.” Aster huffed. “Little fawn, I love you like I love the herd. You’re all so adorable, and I love you all the same...except for Mr. Wobbles...he’s treacherous.” He looked off in thought, before snapping back to give her his full attention. “Yes, I’d love another darling daughter. With mummy and your permission.”

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

Katrina began to smile, looking hopeful. “Can I really have a little sister? I really would like one... or two.” She shrugged a bit. “I’m getting older but I so badly want to play toys with someone else. I know we’ll have to ask mommy but... I really hope he’ll say yes.” She looked a little concerned about that and then sighed again, laughing at the comment about their most... mischievous cat. “You’re just mad because he got his claw stuck in your piercings aren’t you?” She giggled.

[drugged-past]

Tiny Dancer | Closed

[drugged-past]

Being rejected, she frowned a bit. “Yeah I have…I work here.” Eleanor motioned to a sleazy strip club at the corner. She took the time to listen to them, admiring both of them as she found them pretty. Eleanor listened to them bicker, and tried to be patient. Regardless, she did like hearing that this place was upscale and would make her more money. Eleanor took the card, looking it over. Watching them starting to walk away, she had to stop them. If these were her future co-workers she might as well get to know them. 

Eleanor rushed after them. “Uh hey, are you guys heading there? I wouldn’t mind checking the place out. I can just go grab my things, I’ll be back really quick.” She ran off, being able to run in heels with ease. After some time she returned. Black heels, gray jeans, and a choppy white low cut love is love tank top. Eleanor had her In This Moment tote bag which held all of her personal effects from the club. She had quit. “Thank you guys for waiting, and for…giving me this opportunity.” 

[billa-kaulitz-engel]

The girls stopped as the other dancer asked them to, smiling as she came back out with her bag. “Come on,” said the first girl cheerfully. “Let’s go! I’m Andy by the way, and this is my room mate Lisbeth.” The girl on her phone waved, still typing and finally put it away. “Ok- 10 million dollars refunneled into relief funds for women. My work is done.” Andy facepalmed, looking exasperated.