Billy is a girl

Billy Jane Maliao is my complete name. I'd like to tell you that I am an interesting person but I am out of words to define myself except these boring adjectives swirling in my head. I am a nurse by profession. Travelling is my passion. Planning on working overseas, particularly in Europe where working + travelling would be such a perfect formula. I like expressing my thoughts through writing and a diary for me is still trending. but hey I'd like to try new things, thus this blog and I think this is a good platform to practice my English language. On my page ill show you how a nearing 30-ish girl struggle with life as the eldest among 5 children and establishing a nursing career in this country which offers financial stability (note sarcasm there) and finding a new love? maybe. just maybe.

[billyssimo-blog]

My golden girl. #belle@50 #lateupload

[billyssimo-blog]

Look how this huge rock is close to falling. Its' curvature lies at the edge of a slope, close to breaking with just a single hope. Yet it managed to compose its' self and remain perfectly still. Maintaining its center of gravity and creating a beautiful picturesque, That's for everyone to see. Bow. #8falls #mtcayabu #mtmaynuba #twinhikes

[billyssimo-blog]

Today's goal achieved👌👌👌 Twin hikes for todaaaay. #8falls with the #8northbabes #mtmaynuba #mtcayabu

[billyssimo-blog]

My IG story. No, its my day. NO, its my life. Nabinyagan nko. Haha Unforgettable daaaay. Thanks to my seniors, my head nurse-mem jess and to Dr. Genoveza. Weeeeew🙌🙌🙌 ganun pala yun. Slooooow IV Puuuuush. #nurselife #buhaynars #tmclife #first

[billyssimo-blog]

Living every single day like I'm hitting 5 digits per cut-off in my bank account. #nurselife #charity #buhaynars #perseverance

[billyssimo-blog]

Shown above is a recent photograph of my index finger. It’s not on HD and the lighting is not good as the coffee shop where I am at right now are dimming the lights celebrating the earth hour. After nearly 3 months with duty days that requires me to wash my hands with isopropyl alcohol right before and after going to a patient’s room- this is what happened. Dried, cracked, thickened, scarred from a broken ampule and wounded. Lotion and petroleum jelly gives me a little help. I’m starting to think if this is an allergy from the powdered gloves or from the alcohol. Or this is just a simple skin breakdown caused by loss of moisture (dryness). Poor skin integrity due to hand hygiene.

[billyssimo-blog]

Have you ever felt jealous of someone who does you no harm at all? I do. Right now. This is not a jealousy-jealous-I-super-hate-you’re-going-down type of jealous but a how-to-be-you-po type of jealousy. Today is my day off. Woke up feeling sick and wanted to be in an OR table imagining a surgeon dissecting my throat. My tonsils are inflamed that I could hardly eat and even swallow my saliva. Anyway, come lunch time, Eat Bulaga was airing and they had the whole episode celebrating Maine “Yaya Dub” Mendoza’s 22th birthday. I couldn’t help but compare myself with this girl. She is 5 years my junior yet she achieved way more than I did. She travelled more places than I’ve gone to. She’s earning good value of money from her showbiz career along with her business too. And worst of all, She could get to be with Alden Richards anytime of the day. (photo grabbed from FB fanpage)

[billyssimo-blog]

Rest day grind. 😎😎😎 (at The Coffee Bean Andv Tea Leaf, Araneta Center)

[billyssimo-blog]

My version of Palliative care

I am working on my 2nd year of practice in this nursing profession. But yesterday got me questioned my emotional strength. I realized I have yet learned to control my emotions. I don’t know but I suddenly felt stupid or too human that I cant get to help my patient whining from pain. He’s suffering from colorectal cancer with round the clock doses of Fentanyl. I was introducing a water soluble contrast via NGT and he felt cramps afterwards. No not cramps but pain. Untolerable pain. A no-joke kind of pain. I mean one of the things you’ll learn from being in this practice is to validate those pain scores a patient is giving you. I’ve encountered patients giving me a score of 10 saying it to me with a huge grin on their face. I’ve been handling this patient for 2 or 3 weeks now. And I’ve never seen him in this terrible state. It somehow disappoints me that my interventions didn’t help him to be well but sadly it looks like it deteriorates his condition. What was going on in my head that time? Should I comfort him by saying good stuff? like “that’s fine, it will be gone in a few”. Should I validate by asking his pain score? Or would he yell or bring a fist to my face should I have done that? How about deep breathing exercises? Should I refer to the doctor right away? Nope, that’s a very wrong answer in the boards. So what now? I palpate his stomach which is distended as it has been. I have a stethoscope around my neck so I checked for breath sounds and a ‘lil help of my fingers to check his pulse rate. But c’mon. I need an intervention. But the truth is I was hurt then. I can’t think through. I wanna cry with him too. I want to tell him that God has greater plans and bigger reasons for everything. I want to take him with me and drive him out of town and enjoy the simple pleasures of life, living the moment and just breath carelessly. But I can’t. Pain is subjective. It is an unpleasant sensation. What makes it worse is that death is inevitable. What if death is more potent than a fentanyl drip circulating in your bloodstream? What if?

[billyssimo-blog]

Monthly culps/titas of BGC dinner😍😍😍 miss y'all @diendi0016 @itsmehaika1203 @soykaryneee @yeyelle28 #afglove #afggirls #afgMNL (at Vanilla Cupcake Bonifacio Global City)

[billyssimo-blog]

Got this notalgic vibe missing the beach feels😥. But hey! Summer is almost here😁 #whenincebu #cebu2016 #travelgoals

[billyssimo-blog]

Changed my outfit to match with my twinnie mother. I love you mama. Thank you for bringing me into this world. #birthdaygirl #27thbirthday #mamasgirl #buffet101 #valentines2017 (at Buffet 101, Robinsons Magnolia)

[billyssimo-blog]

Feb 14 na Pero bday ko pa din😇 To a spontaneous celebration like this. Thank you Lord for everything. #27thbirthday #birthdaygirl #birthday #wildwestbirthday (at Wild West Roadhouse Grill)

[billyssimo-blog]

Birthday celebration/ hearts day with the beshies. Salamat @maaabiii @aambrosioo #27thbirthday #birthday #bessies (at Wild West Roadhouse Grill)

[billyssimo-blog]

This Valentine's day, may everyone celebrates with overflowing love! be it with your special someone, your family, a pet or with your officemates or by yourself haha #loveyourself . Happy heart's day😘😘😘 #valentines2017 #tinipakriver #tinipakganern #travel2017 (at Tinipak River Tanay Rizal)

[billyssimo-blog]

Cuz you deserve your own frame😋 #thisishowweRue #caramelbeer @ruobourbon (at Rou Bourbon The Fort)

[billyssimo-blog]

I came today as a new person compared to the last time I seek you 😊 #Novena #stjude #blessed