fuck you max

@binchmatized

46 posts

Do you remember telling me that’d you beat the shit of me if my roommates weren’t home? Bitch

"Are you telling all your friends how I'm being mean to you?"

Says you? The one who didn't seem to hesitate to tell all *your* friends how I was the bad guy in the situation? You told your family, you told Tiana, you told Hedda, and no doubt numerous more. And you dare mock me for trying to get help to get away from your abusive ass? I still remember your mocking, facetious tone. Did you tell them how you threatened to beat the shit out of me if my roommates weren't home? How you threw things at me? Or did you only tell them about what I did and conveniently left out your own actions? You piece of shit. You piece of fucking shit. I hope you rot in hell. That wasn't the only straw but it sure was the last.

Like i get it's for business and all, but let's be real, unless you are super consistent and spend a bunch of time on Instagram, the algorithm won't give you much exposure regardless. Not worth it.

Speaking of narcissism, thinking that everyone needs to like and comment on your posts is so annoying. I get that's social media thinking, but still annoying to see someone losing their shit over someone not liking their post on Instagram, be it art or otherwise. At that point it's just not worth the aneurysm. It's so self centered. Who gets angry about that? Like maybe they didn't see your post, maybe they didn't want to like it, maybe theyre doing it to spite you because they know you'd get pissed. Either way, who cares.

Im not trying to bring social activism into this, but literally crying and saying that you "just really love black people" was so off-putting. Like maybe you really are experiencing white guilt. And that reeked of it. Like just *any* black person? That's not how you should be going through life.

He's quite the narcissist isn't he. He thinks everything is about him, that people do things (like moving back to Seattle because HE was the threatening one) just to "punish" him. That people have to give up their time for him. That he's such a great friend because he does this and that so therefore everyone else must return the *favors* tenfold. He talks about it like theyre favors too, which is weird. He probably doesnt even realize it. Did he even ask Tiana about her music? Maybe only like once or twice. Then proceeded to share his music, which is fine, but then without ever asking about hers again after that, as far as i know? I'd have to agree that that's pretty one sided. He says he was there for her for talking about her mom, but honestly after the first 3 or so phone calls he just only talked about his problems. Like, if we're really going to talk about being friends in the way that he perceives friendships, it doesn't seem fair that 3 phone calls talking about Tiana = the rest of the phone calls talking about himself and then some. Maybe Tiana isn't exactly gentle when it comes to consoling people, but maybe you resent her because she's just not saying what you *want* to hear, which is what ive been sort of manipulated into giving you because you'd throw a fit if i didn't give you exactly what you wanted to hear. And hey, it's not like you gave me what I wanted to hear all the time. I don't think i broke mirrors or violently kicked stoves because of it though.

Also, thinking that new roommates should go out of their way to get together and throw some sort of welcoming party, grand or otherwise, when they have jobs and shit to do, is pretty fucking narcissistic. Like i know it was your jealousy talking and trying to make me dislike my roommates or make my roommates seem lesser than. But honestly, fuck off. People have lives outside of you, and just because you dont realize that doesnt mean i havent.

Slightly trivial but i thought it was so ironic how i suggested he use a washcloth for his face since he disliked washing his face because of the water dribbling down his arms, and he scoffed at me and said something like "what do you think i live in the olden times??" As if he wasnt the one whose special interest was history and wore a chiton as a casual outfit. Like okay. Soooo fucking ironic. Like a washcloth would be the perfect and reasonable solution to washing your face without making a mess of puddles everywhere and subjecting your arms to getting wet. Like, alright. Whatever. Be a total "that's beneath me" kind of fuck about it.

Maybe it's so hardwired into your brain that you don't even notice or feel that it's manipulation. Go get some fucking help.

Other things i recorded in my journal, MULTIPLE incidents of you getting angry and taking your anger out on me, regardless if you were actually angry at me or at yourself, or someone else.

Im so tired of people thinking it's a-oh-fucking-kay to take out their stress on other people just because they're stressed!!!! Like if it TRULY is me that's stressing you out and it's becoming a recurrent issue, then tell me to move out!! At the same time you made it seem like me moving out was a bad thing or a sort of punishment because you used that as an ultimatum before to get me to do what you want, so of course i didn't want to move out because you made me feel like it would mean i was a bad person. It's so multi faceted. Your manipulation is so multifaceted. Do this thing because this, but wait, if you do that thing then that means this, blah blah blah

"I oNlY mOvEd HeRe WiTh YoU bC yOu KePt BiTcHiNg AbOuT iT" bitch, you were the one who said you would actually kill yourself if quarantine lasted beyond October, and dont fucking say you didnt because i actually journaled that down. And so we moved out of state at the beginning of October!! Just maybe, it was out of desperation of me not wanting you to fucking die!!!! And you thought it was a good idea too and you were whining and bitching about the fires because i distinctly remember you saying you did not want to stay for another month because of the smoke. Like it seemed like you were desperate to get out too but you made it seem like it was ALL my idea. Fuck you. That's some bullshit.

All this talk about being environmentally friendly and not wasting stuff yet being extremely weirded out that i used a cardboard verson of something instead of a plastic one and also never eating the last pieces of still edible food just because it's percieved as being disgusting to him, and blaming me as an individual for not being hypervigilant about recycling and trash instead of looking at the bigger picture and the corporations who are responsible for a honkin percentage of the pollution in the world. I guess also shifting the focus on me not ~recycling good enough~ allows his lack of responsibility to be hidden from the spotlight.

Like it's fine and even ideal to create as little waste as possible, but it's unrealistic to say that every individual can cease wasting anything and that in turn would save the planet because 1.) That's never gonna happen, the EVERYONE stopping waste part, 2.) Major corporations whose ultimate goal is money exist will always be the major contributers to pollution, and 3.) Stop fucking focusing on hypotheticals and then being extremely disappointed when the current reality does not match your ideal fantasy of how the world should operate because then instead of focusing on the actual problems like capitalism, you shift your focus to the individuals who are forced to partake in capitalism instead. Im not saying we would never achieve those currently hypothetical ideals, just that he wasn't using his justified anger towards climate change productively, and he just took it out on me instead and made me feel resentful towards him because he was being hypocritical and should have known better, given how he always talks about capitalist brainwashing and shit.

Like im just trying to clean this nasty ass apartment that you don't help clean right now. I do not have the time or energy to have saving the world on my fucking mind. But of course you do, because you have all the time in the world to yourself doing nothing but go on tumblr and doomscroll while i work and never have an ounce of privacy because the only public areas open are, well, PUBLIC, with other people around.

It truly is a privilege to do absolutely nothing all day and have no responsibilities, huh

"I do things you may not notice" seems like a really suspect way to get out of being called out for not doing chores because the chores he does do are not *noticeable*. Also weird how he brought that up on his own when I didnt even say anything about that to him in the first place? Like he was defending himself against something i didn't even accuse him of. Does that reek of guilt or what

How subtle is it that he said how Fabiano would yell at him for not doing the dishes. Like i was literally the only one who would do the dishes. And he has the audacity to be all like "i cant do the dishes because trauma" like dude. I fucking need help doing the chores around this apartment. Just do the fucking dishes. For fuck's sake. Stop using your trauma to get out of your responsibilities! Especially when other people are involved and you're just dumping those responsibilities onto them instead so you don't have to do shit!!

So weird how he would say things that compared me to his abusive exes just to make me feel guilty for doing things to protect myself. Like he caused me physical pain by trying to pop a zit when i told him not to or something like that (and he knew i was extremely sensitive to that kind of pain because i told him multiple times) and then acting like the victim when i got angry and removed myself from him. "The last time someone told me to fuck off like that was when i was with Fabiano" like?? Was any part of that sentence necessary??? It's all so fucking subtle, the guilt tripping, the manipulation. Im not saying Fabiano wasn't being a bitch, because im sure he was a bitch, but in what would would both mine and his situations be so similar to the point where it warranted getting compared to one another, and therefore implying that I was the bitch in this sitch

I utterly forgot that he started that argument about me not caring about him enough, and then later said that i was the one that started the argument and that he would take no part of it, even though he was the one that started it. The gaslighting. Holy shit.

Idk maybe it's my fault for living with a guy literally going through second puberty. I was essentially living with a teenager, whose hormones are hella fuckin imbalanced given the extremely inconsistent shots. Fucking christ

He would probably blame it on me for not heeding his words about moving out of things got toxic between me and him while living together but i remember him saying something like "i already told you (aforementioned phrase) so if you're hurt by me then that's on you" and basically saying it's my fault for not leaving him and therefore my fault for getting the brunt of his stress and anger. How shitty. Just straight up telling me to move out would have been less traumatic for me but i guess he also liked that i cooked, cleaned, did laundry, bought groceries, paid bills and didnt ask to be thanked or appreciated and be his personal live-in maid that wasn't home to impede on his personal space nearly 40+ hours a week

Like he just knows the right manipulative thing to say to make it so that he can be percieved of being free of blame. Basically saying "you didn't move out when i was having this meltdown that i took out on you even when i said you should so therefore if you get hurt by my meltdowns that is your problem and not mine and i am free of responsibility of how that affected you because i already told you that you should move out when stuff like that happens :)" like what???

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