delicate;

so i'll read a book, or maybe two or three...

[birdiemccoy]

[birdiemccoy]

calabrahams​:

Yeah? Changing it to what? I’ve been helping Jaci Mae look at colleges a little bit. It’s…stressful. 

Jaci has nothing to be stressed about. She is going to do so great and fit in so well. I think she’ll really.... bloom in college. 

[birdiemccoy]

brooklyndegrassi​:

Hey you! Why don’t you change it to hospitality and come manage the Speakeasy with me? 

Everyone knows that a hospitality degree is just what girls do when all they want is to get engaged and pregnant. Everyone calls it the Mrs. degree. 

So Brooklyn, do I look like the kind of girl who just wants to get married and have a bunch of babies??

[birdiemccoy]

alicefoss​:

There’s no shame in that! It’s hard figuring out what you wanna do. What’re you thinking of changing it to?

I thought I wanted to go into creative writing, but now I’m sorta thinking about creative technologies but also I really enjoyed my psychology class this semester.... So what I’m getting at is that I really don’t know...

[birdiemccoy]

theonagy​:

B-B-Birdie! It’s so n-n-nice to see you. Change it to what?

Theo!! I didn’t know you were home. Noel said you were at the studio.

I’m thinking about creative tech!  Lots of coding and robots and things I never thought I’d be interested in until I was forced to take an intro class to check off my technology class.

[birdiemccoy]

I’m thinking about changing my major, but I really don’t know. 

[birdiemccoy]

[calabrahams]

Cal was beginning to feel like he was unlucky with love. As he sat outside on the back porch in the cold, the crisp, Washington air seeming to hit harder than usual since they’d gotten back from Hawaii, he thought about Oaklynn. Where was she now? What was she like? Had she remarried? To Cal, Oaklynn had been the truest love he’d ever known. He thought he’d felt that with Maisie again. He felt a yearning of sorts with Birdie that was close too, but nothing compared to Oaklynn, and for all he knew, perhaps Oaklynn wasn’t even alive anymore. The thought of that upset his stomach, but if he was being honest, his stomach hadn’t felt quite right since he and Maisie broke things off a few days before. He knew it was coming. It was an impending raincloud that finally burst, but Cal wished the weather forecast would’ve been wrong. If it wasn’t Oaklynn, he’d wished it would’ve been Maisie. Now, he didn’t know what he wished for at all. 

He squeezed his hands. His knuckles zinged with a combination of frigidness and soreness. Cal had taken up boxing and he was bruised on his hands and a little on his face, but nothing too noticeable. He shivered. He should go back inside, but there something relaxing about watching his breath in the cold. He inhaled, then exhaled, blowing out a line of white air when he heard the back door close, the chaotic loudness of the house coming in and out of his ears as quickly as the door opened and shut. 

He figured it’d be one of his sisters, or possibly one of the guys coming out for a Friday night smoke before they headed off to parties, but instead, Cal was met with a familiar, comforting face. 

“Birdie?” He was shocked to see her, some color quickly flushing back into his cheeks, “Hey,” He got up and pulled her in for a hug, sure he’d feel cold to her but not caring too much, “What’s up? What are you doing here?” 

[birdiemccoy]

Birdie was enjoying college. Her first year went so well. She declared a major in marketing, a minor in sociology. She joined a sorority, and because of that, she had been to many, many, many fraternity parties. She’d been doing volunteer work on the side of her part-time job as a barista at a local coffee shop, and she had picked up surfing from living on the coast. She taught classes here and there at a local ballet studio, and she had been thinking about joining the dance team at school.... but it wasn’t the type of dancing she really enjoyed. It felt more like cheerleading, and she wasn’t interested in that. Overall, college was treating her well. Though, being back in Brooksville for the summer did make her miss her little hometown. So when she saw her opportunity to come back and visit for a few days due to a three day weekend, she booked her plane ticket and had Mollie pick her up from the airport. 

In the car, Birdie had Mollie fill her in on all of the drama that was going down. Word on the street was that Isaiah and Maya were hooking up, Noa was hooking up with her kid’s pediatrician, AJ was getting into trouble in Seattle, Aubree and Miles’ new baby was in the hospital still fighting for his life, Noel had hooked up with one of the crew members (though he wouldn’t say who, but confirmed it was not Gage), and that Maisie and Cal had it out at the diner and Maisie was already with Eli. 

That’s when Birdie stopped listening. She had all her information. 

It wasn’t that Birdie was hung up on Cal or that she was waiting for him. In all actuality, Birdie had really blossomed in college. She had stories on stories - but she’d save those for another time. If there was a possibility to be with Cal, though, she was going to see if she could take it. And if not, she was going to see if she could at least be his friend. She missed her friend, but she still had the scar on the side of her forehead to show for their incident downtown. She was hoping he wouldn’t point it out again. 

Birdie unpacked a few things in her room - Theo was out at dance, so it was relatively empty and quiet. A few more pictures had been hung up of professional shots of Theo and Dallas’ latest dances. Noel had been sure to send Birdie all of the recordings despite Theo saying not to. And even though Theo downplayed it, the two of them were electric on stage. Birdie couldn’t believe it. Birdie did feel so old and so grown up in her childhood room - though it wasn’t really her childhood room. That was the one she shared with Avalon. Birdie peaked out the door and then walked down the hall. She pressed her ear to Avalon’s door to see if she could hear her from the other side. She really did miss her, but she wouldn’t be the first one to say anything. She could hear something - something remnant of sex sounds. She must’ve had Grey in there. 

Irritated, Birdie trotted down stairs and threw open the door. She needed some air. She heard her name and whipped her head around to see her favorite red head. She wasn’t ready to see him. Not right then at least. “Oh, hi,” she was able to get a grin out. She hugged him and squeezed him tight. She had really missed him too. “I was just a little homesick,” Birdie said. “I had a three day weekend, so I figured I’d pack up and come home for a while.” She was able to see her breath and his breath too. She gestured back to the porch swing where she plopped herself down next to him. “I, uh, I heard about you and Maisie,” Birdie said. Way to go, Bird, she thought, Come right out with it, why don’t you? “I’m sorry that happened,” She said, looking over at him. Might as well go all in now, she thought and then she spoke, “If I was her, I never would have let you go. You’re one of the good ones.”

[birdiemccoy]

calabrahams​:

“Have you seen me dance? You don’t want me to be in your TikTok, Reb, trust me,” Cal smirked, hanging out with Rebel as they lingered by the front door. Cal was propped up on the front staircase, sitting back as he waited for Zodi to come downstairs. Back in Plumfeld, they didn’t learn much in terms of ecosystems or biology, but because Cal was such a plant nerd, he was sure he could help Zodi with his outrageous homework. But before his younger brother came down from his bedroom, Cal was met with a surprise. The type of surprise that takes your breath away. Like when someone calls out your name because you’ve won a very special prize or when you weren’t anticipating having to give a speech, and then you do anyways. He was very thankful Rebel was there to talk first. “…Hey…” Cal met Birdie’s eyes and instinctively stood up, trying to fix his hair and un-wrinkle his black t-shirt, “You look great. Really great.” 

Birdie had gone through a lot in that first year of college. She pledged for sororities, got a couple of bids, and committed to one. She took a ton of classes, made a lot of friends, read a lot of books, and went to countless parties. She dated a boy briefly, but when she wouldn’t sleep with him, he broke up with her. They only dated for a few weeks, so Birdie wasn’t much hurt by it. However, Birdie did think about Cal the entire year. And in an effort to get him off her mind, she dyed her hair and started partying even harder. She was so fed up with all of it, she drunkenly slept with a guy from a fraternity, a guy named James... but everyone called him Jamie. And after, she felt dirty. And disgusting. And immoral. She felt different, and she didn’t like it. However, she still tried to live life to the fullest, and she was having fun. However, coming home for the summer was going to be hard. Birdie fiddled with her hands, “Thanks...” Then she saw Lincoln run up to Cal from behind and hold onto his legs, and Birdie wondered if he was still dating Maisie who must’ve been in the next room over. “I, uh... Do you think we can talk? Privately?”

[birdiemccoy]

[birdiemccoy]

alicefoss​:

I could leave this town. I could give Chandler to Casey and Stone, pack up my car, and drive far, far away. Mr. Morris, you know the old man with the handlebar mustache from the bookstore? He would miss me. You would, at least that’s what you’re telling me, maybe Nora would too, and Chandler just for a couple days until he played with his siblings and enough fun toys to forget about me. All I’m saying is…I’m extremely un-rememberable, and it’s wearing on me.

No, Alice. I promise. Chandler would miss you every single day. Every kid needs their mom. No matter what they say. He’ll always remember you leaving. That’ll be etched into his mind as a core memory, and you don’t want to traumatize him like that. You don’t want to make him wonder why he wasn’t enough for you to stay. I feel un-rememberable too, but I don’t think that feeling will leave us if we try to run from it. 

[brooklyndegrassi]

“Isn’t there a key to Apollo around here?” Brooklyn asked, book bag slung over his shoulder, “I want to spend a couple’a nights there ‘till everything calms down if it’s alright.” 

[birdiemccoy]

brooklyndegrassi​:

Nah. I just wanna be peaceful. Peaceful and free.

What about you? Where do you see yourself?

I don’t know where I see myself. I’m going to California for college, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll come back.... But I don’t know, I don’t see myself in California either. I don’t know. I just want peace. I want to feel settled. 

[birdiemccoy]

calabrahams​:

“Birdie…” Cal’s voice was barely over a whisper as he spoke to her. The corners of his mouth folded up into a weak smile as she joked about his sisters and how he wasn’t very good with girls. It was true. For as handsome and burly as Cal was, he was pretty horrible in the talking about his feelings and seduction department. Still, the feelings he had for Birdie were undeniable. As she sat there in the hospital bed, an IV sticking half in and half out of the top of her hand, Cal wished that day would’ve gone so differently. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he snapped back into his reality - knowing it was probably Maisie checking in on the situation and asking if he’d still be over for dinner later. She was making one of her mother’s homemade recipes for him and she was so excited. “I…” As Birdie spoke, Cal wasn’t sure what to say, so he gently picked up her hand and softly kissed it, “…I don’t know, Birdie. I’m sorry.” 

Summer was so far away at that point. It had been nearly seven months since the incident in town. Birdie was completely healed. No more concussion, no more bruises or soreness. Her arm that had been fractured was fine, and she was able to dance completely normally. Pepperdine had about a month break for the winter holidays, and she was back home in Brooksville with a new nose piercing and newly dyed hair. She didn’t tell anyone she was coming home. She bought a plane ticket and grabbed an Uber back to the house, and when she walked in, of course, the first people she saw were Rebel and Cal. Rebel immediately spit out a shocked, “Whoa! Your hair!” And Birdie just giggled and gave a little toss, “Oh, you like it? It’s new!” She looked up to meet Cal’s eyes. “Hi...”

[birdiemccoy]

birdiemccoy: surprise?

[birdiemccoy]

alicefoss​:

I…I think I could go away and no one would miss me. 

I would miss you. And I know I’m about to go to college, but that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you any less. 

[birdiemccoy]

brooklyndegrassi​:

Somewhere quiet and far. Living in New York and then coming here…it’s just loud a lot. It’s easy to get caught up in messes or get forgotten. I think I’d like to move out East. Maybe…South Carolina or something. .

I thought you’d end up back in New York and if not New York then New Jersey, probably. 

[birdiemccoy]

The College Chronicles

Part One

Birdie’s favorite part about going to college in Malibu was the beach. It was beautiful. New yet familiar. It was the same ocean that touched down in Brooksville, and that helped her feel more connected. As if she could just look North and see home. 

She was beyond grateful to leave Brooksville when she did. Just a month earlier she had been hit by a car after a heated debate with Cal in the middle of town. Granted, things could’ve been a lot worse than just a concussion, a broken nose, and a few bumps and bruises. When she did return home, everyone treated her with kid gloves, almost as if she had tried to kill herself. She hadn’t, of course, but they didn’t know that. And Cal’s worried face whenever they saw each other sure didn’t help that storyline. 

Birdie was so ready to get out of Brooksville when she did, they were nearly at Thanksgiving and she was the only foster who hadn’t returned for a visit. She figured she would for Thanksgiving, as campus would be closed, and she’d make an awkward appearance at dinner and beg Milania and Travis to let her stay with them for the remaining days. 

Though she didn’t want to be in Brooksville, she still did feel a longing for her home. She did dip her toes into the ocean and think that maybe just a few states away, Cal was doing the same thing. It was certainly comforting in that regard. That was the kind of girl Birdie was. 

In all actuality, Birdie had changed a lot since starting college. She originally predicted that she’d be coming home any chance she could, staying in on the weekends to read and catch up on school work, and spending the week dancing or performing in some fashion. But that’s not what happened at all. 

Birdie stepped foot onto Pepperdine’s campus with Nora and Alice, who were so kind to help her move in, and things shifted. She switched her major from English to Physics--a big jump for just about anyone. She took her intro to physics class and within three weeks, she was hooked. She was acing the class, getting 100s on papers and tests. She was asked to be a notetaker for someone else in class, and she ended up loving it more than she had imagined. 

Second, Birdie had completely stopped dancing. Well... not completely, but she wasn’t training any more. She would dance every now and again, but she was less worried about getting better and more worried about her other extracurriculars, like Student Government. That year she ran for a seat on SGA and was inducted as Freshman Class Representative... it was sorta like Freshman Class President but without the all of the responsibility. She still had a say, she still had things to do, but she wasn’t overloaded by all of the SGA responsibilities and decision making. 

Third, Birdie started going to parties. Despite being a Christian college, Birdie had been invited to plenty of parties and joined a sorority.... which opened up even more doors for parties. She was meeting people, going on dates, staying up late, sharing secrets, and making memories. 

So even if she did go back and visit home, she wasn’t sure if anyone would recognize her. And it wasn’t that she even hated who she was or who she became, but she was certainly different. A brand new leaf was turned and a brand new Birdie was starting to fly. And no one would have ever seen it coming.