While You Calculate Dong Im Gonna Pick Up A Fly Gf

Gabriel 26 | He/Him | Still Crying Bisexual

[biscottypalmcock]

Thinking about the time I showed my mom a post that was ordering all the numbers 1-100 in alphabetical order and it stopped at like in the 70s which still left a bunch of numbers out and she was like “wait that can’t be all of them” and I immediately said it wasn’t and started listing the remaining numbers in alphabetical order without having them written down…

[biscottypalmcock]

From the woman that served “I watched Tom and Jerry different and better than you” comes “You’re hard to spoil cause I don’t know what you like”

[biscottypalmcock]

What if I just came back from the dead *ghost noises*

[yeahdragon]

yall have no idea just how badly i want to cook some rice in gatorade

[yeahdragon]

i hope to god im doing this right

[yeahdragon]

im not sure how to feel about this

[yeahdragon]

update: the gatorade didnt give the rice any flavor as i had hoped but the color is nice? Anyway i slapped some sweet chili sauce on it and now im eating the gatorade rice abomination while playing destiny 2

it looks fucking disgusting i know but it just tastes like rice

[yeahdragon]

LAMBASTED FOR RICE CRIMES

[sexh8r]

I couldn’t find a picture with enough hands

[satellitestarfire]

What about this one op?

[telnaga]

living has always been a large part of my life. I was born at an incredibly young age, and ever since then, I have been alive

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

30 day free trial of being ok

[milkchocolateowl]

op wheres the link

[milkchocolateowl]

wheres the link op

[whatisthismommy]

Me hunting with my vampire friends: cracking open a boy with the cold ones

[officialjeffgoldblum]

People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

[natawhat]

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

[nightterrorbeauty-deactivated20]

drinking permit

[freelancervermont]

“What’s that in your sippy cup?”

“Vodka.”

[thelegendofclarke]

[jintaru]

@pompadorkery

[just-shower-thoughts]

Sheet music is basically a sound recipe

[ruinedchildhood]

[ruinedchildhood]

[daily-showerthoughts]

Bob’s Burgers would also be an appropriate title for SpongeBob SquarePants

[yourbigsisnissi]

[end0skeletal]

Look at these birbs

[boringangel]

[darthsavior-deactivated20241106]

I love that this implies sappho is still alive

[alwaystiredbi]

Bold of you to assume she ever died

[hivs]

cat: *meows in a distance*

my mom’s voice from the kitchen: you want a tomato, you fool? you won’t eat it

cat: *meows louder*

[majesticduxk-deactivated2018121]

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

[soupernabturel]

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

[whitmerule]

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

[hazeldomain]

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

[prairiedust]

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

[hazeldomain]

But do you pad across rooms? 

[prairiedust]

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

[mittensmorgul]

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

[k-vichan]

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

[dorkaelskunkworks]

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

[podfixx]

Ah, but are you holding a breath you are unaware of?

[green-violin-bow]

I just stretched lazily and showed a strip of pale skin where my t-shirt rode up but there was no-one here to stare at it, speechless, so I don’t know if it even counted

[love-in-mind-palace]

I sigh thousand times a day. Hope that is enough.

[nightingveilxo]

I was forced to tear my eyes away, yet drawn toward this by my body’s own volition.

[sleepingexplorer]

i have ghosted my fingertips across countertops, along my own jawline, down the curtains’ edges. i am ghosting them across the nape of your neck, right now.

[madlori]

My tongue is battling for dominance, but there’s nobody else here so it’s just squaring off on a Starbucks cup. The cup doesn’t stand a chance.

[busket]

y’know if i were mother gothel i wouldn’t tell rapunzel that her birthday was ACTUALLY her birthday. like i’d probably tell her that her birthday was any other day where floating lanterns from the castle do NOT fill the sky and make her think they’re for her. hell whats the point of even telling her that birthdays exist, its not like she’s gonna ever know anyone else besides mother gothel who’ll tell her about birthdays

also what is rapunzel’s real name? is it actually rapunzel; is that what the queen and king named her? if that were the case then mother gothel should have definitely renamed her and had her grow up with a name that is different than the missing princess. like if she got to the town in the movie and heard someone say “this is for the missing princess, rapunzel” she’d be like “holy FUCK”

[strayghost]

kiana this is a children’s movie

[busket]

a man gets fatally stabbed and a woman literally turns to dust as she falls from a 60 foot tower. im talking about birthdays and names so i dont know what the fuck your point is