cinnamon craizin cragel with cream creese

[yabbiescrustyjorts]

i love when yabbie turns in elephan

[totally-real-astridstridass]

Honestly the only unproblematic take in the fandom these days

[yabbiescrustyjorts]

i also lov when she cab

[captainpirateblog]

guys I’m sorry but I just can’t stan Baer anymore after what Flik revealed in the last ep… I’m sick to my stomach

[bisexualcraizin]

ok but like what about internalized homophobia ?? god forbid we give women some grace….

[bisexualcraizin]

FRIA NATION RISE UP THE DOWNFALL OF ZASTRID IS NIGH!!!

[mothersagainstlivoutiapod]

Hey now, there’s no need for all this. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all

[bisexualcraizin]

literally suck my dinghole

[prophecies-by-cass]

Zia and Frey have not yet met the most powerful of their sisters. For the sake of the world, let us hope they are able to recognize her as one of their own before it is too late.

[bisexualcraizin]

FRIA NATION RISE UP THE DOWNFALL OF ZASTRID IS NIGH!!!

[bisexualcraizin]

lord if you looooveee me you will MAKE zastrid breakup!!

[bisexualcraizin]

I HAVE PRAYED FOR TIMES LIKE THIS

[bisexualcraizin]

FRIA NATION RISE UP THE DOWNFALL OF ZASTRID IS NIGH!!!

[bisexualcraizin]

lord if you looooveee me you will MAKE zastrid breakup!!

[bisexualcraizin]

idk abt anyone else but i dont get why they do so much charades on the pod like its an audio medium and some of us arent priviliged enough to have money for the liveshow tix or the patreon. Its honeslty pretty classist of them to gatekeep content from LOPs (listeners of poverty)

[bisexualcraizin]

spoilers for the live show

guyssss im literally obsessed with spilikim hes soooo cuteeee I hope he joins the trojan whores foreverrrrr and him and bubbles get marriedddddd

[bisexualcraizin]

guys so heaer me out.... bobert is hot thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[bisexualcraizin]

FRIA NATION RISE UP THE DOWNFALL OF ZASTRID IS NIGH!!!

[zastriddisaster]

34.106.208.213

38° 7′ 0″ N, 86° 55′ 46″ W

never say that shit again

[bisexualcraizin]

HELLO??????

[bisexualcraizin]

FRIA NATION RISE UP THE DOWNFALL OF ZASTRID IS NIGH!!!

[bringbackeggbert]

I can’t the only one who thinks #livoutiapod is scripted right? Like the amount of times Jonesy’s eyes went to his lap top during the trauma visions? It’s so obvious! Like if you want to live in the delusion that people can make stuff up like that on the fly that’s fine, but all I’m saying is that and FULL HOUR of deedee megadoodoo doesn’t just happen out of thin air

ZOOM IN! YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE THEIR SCRIPTS ON THE LAPTOPS IN SOME SHOTS!!

[lamentable-beast]

​I wish they were scripted but passed on the shit they pull they are waaaaay to dumb to come up with a plan pre-session, they obviously make everything up that’s why their poor planning has led to no follow up on important things like character relationships people ACTUALLY WANT instead of whatever’s happening rn

[bisexualcraizin]

And this is so important and someone should say it. it’s so obvious that none of them care abt these characters anymore that’s why they did the time skip!! that’s why all the characters are so ooc now! they literally just wanted to make new characters but didn’t want to abandon the fanbase they have built around the god slicers

[bisexualcraizin]

ok does anyone else feel like the post time skip episode was really weird? like why was everyone acting so different? calliope isn’t hanging out with the giants?? astrid and maple are fighting?? AND MY GIRL CRAIZIN?! why’d Jonesy make her flirt with pelikevin???!! she would never she’s literally so in love with pembroke!! their meant for each other!! idk their playing the characters so ooc it’s kinda making the episode a hard listen ://

[bisexualcraizin]

Imagine….

Your boyfriend, Prince Mika, walks in rubbing his swollen belly. “I’m hungry Y/N”, he complains. You laugh, “We just ate lunch!” He comes over to you and wraps his arms around you from behind. You can feel his pregnant belly pressing against your back and you smile. Mika counters with “Yeah but I’m eating for two…. or three… or maybe even nine!” You smile, “You’re right. I wouldn’t want the octuplets to starve. I’ll go get some more food.” As you walk away, you turn back to see Mika beam at you, face glowing and beautiful. You smile in return, wondering how you got so lucky.

[captainpirateblog]

STOP POSTING MPREG MIKA STOP POSTING MPREG MIKA STOP POSTING MPREG MIKA

[bisexualcraizin]

never

[bisexualcraizin]

does anyone else feel super uncomfy about the jokes abt pembroke being ableist in liveoutiapod? like he actually cant be ableist he literally has adhd.....

[ihatebingushaversack]

100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus

[golfdilf]

and bingus would win 😤

[ihatebingushaversack]

I have simulated the 100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus fight and the gorillas kill Bingus five times over in one round. Find advanced statistics and fun facts below.

-Bingus dies after only 19 gorillas.

-Bingus dies no matter when she goes in the order. If she goes first and deals her highest damage possible, she only kills 4 gorillas (and this is bending the rules very generously in her favor). If she goes after the first 18 gorillas and somehow manages to heal back to full, she dies after the next 16 gorillas.

-If Bingus goes first and deals her highest damage possible and deals the damage specifically to kill the gorillas that would have dealt the most damage to her, the remaining gorillas would still do enough damage to kill her well over four times.

-The gorillas dealt 562 damage total and averaged 5.62 damage each.

-Gorilla #28 dealt the most damage, 23 points of bludgeoning damage on a multi attack double crit.

-The second highest damage goes to Gorilla #100, who brought us home with one final crit for 22 damage.

-35 gorillas miss completely, I can only assume because they did not wish to defile their gorgeous hands with Bingus putrescence.

Please message if you would like the data. Quality studies need to be replicable, and I welcome you all to try killing Bingus with 100 gorillas yourselves.

[bisexualcraizin]

if they were undead gorillas tho that would be a different story bingus would demolish them easy 😤😤

[ihatebingushaversack]

To test your hypothesis, I treated all 100 gorillas as undead and gave Bingus the most favorable circumstances possible: she acts first in initiative and all 100 gorillas are not only within 30ft of her but are each completely silent and have clear sight lines to fulfill the conditions of Turn Undead. I had each of the 100 undead gorillas attempt the save against her spell save dc, and repeated this process five times to account for variance.

On average, 29 undead gorillas survive Turn Undead. When we apply the average gorilla damage from the last experiment, these surviving gorillas deal more than enough to kill Bingus in one round.

Even in the case where the fewest undead gorillas survive (Trial #4, 23 survivors), the aforementioned damage average per undead gorilla still overkills Bingus by about 25 damage.

Even if Bingus uses her bonus action after Turn Undead to upcast Spiritual Weapon at her highest possible level, crits, and deals max damage, she would only kill two additional undead gorillas, which is not enough to save herself even in the Trial #4 scenario.

In conclusion, Bingus cannot defeat 100 gorillas even if they are undead. Fuck you Bingus I hate you

[bisexualcraizin]

but what you FAILED to take into account is that the challenge rating of an ape is 1/2!!

and bingus is a big strong cleric OVER LEVEL 5!!

and THEREFORE would be able to destroy undead!!

WHICH MEANS that bingus would DEMOLISH 100 undead gorillas!!

simulate THAT 😤😤😤