summary: in which you're very stressed, and sparring is the only way you can destress. you're having trouble finding a partner though, so logan volunteers to help.
pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader
word count: 1.7k
warnings: mild swearing, fingering, some dirty talk, lots of horny thoughts, 18+ MDNI
author's note: ahhhh sweaty logan on a fighting mat is all i need. anyways, thank you guys sm for the response on my other fic, as a gift i bring you smut ;)
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Youâre stressed. Youâve been overworking yourself, you know it, and you need to relax, destress. Your body feels wound up with tension and energy, and youâre unable to release it. Itâs not like you have super complicated abilities that mess with your mind and make you lose your shit, no - thatâs Jeanâs set of troubles, not yours. Your ability is simple enough - super strength.Â
So what is it that isnât simple then? Right. Someone you can actually truly train with and exert yourself out with. There arenât a load of people who can physically keep up with your strength, not except Colossus, and even heâs just a kid. So when, at times, you want to blow some steam by training, you have next to no one to do it with.Â
Or, you didnât, not until Logan came along. Youâve sparred with him a couple of times, but only for excessively short periods of time, due to you not being able to keep your shit together because of his overwhelming attractiveness. Honestly, you donât think itâs your fault that youâre unable to focus; his arms look like he could rip apart logs of wood with them, his shoulders are so wide that theyâre practically made for people to rest their ankles on, and his demeanor - his understated, wolfish demeanor makes you go insane.Â
And as if all these things werenât bad enough on their own, they tend to get exponentially exemplified whenever you guys spar. Obviously, fighting makes him breathe hard and stuff. So your life becomes even tougher.Â
Really, you arenât trying to be horny around him all the time. But thatâs the thing. Youâre pent up, stressed, overworked. Being a member of the X-Men means that it gets really hard to get laid due to several factors, and then when your coworkers are so hot? God help you.Â
As you sit on the gymâs bench, staring at the sparring mats, you strain your mind to think of someone to spar with. You could ask Colossus, the kidâs always more than ready and could give you some competition on one of your bad days. But thereâs too much of a risk. Youâre already restless with energy, itching to let yourself go; in case the kid isnât prepared or you get too excited, youâd end up hurting him, which is something you canât risk.Â
You could maybe go to Ororo and Scott, ask them to come at you together? The two of them together would successfully tire you out. Maybe theyâd become a bit more than youâre mentally willing to handle. You donât want to have to strategise at every step.Â
God, you just need someone who can handle whatever you throw at them without having to think too much. Unfortunately for you, thereâs only one person in the mansion who can do that.Â
âOh hey Bub, what you doing here? Got no classes to teach?â The somehow smooth but gravelly voice breaks you out of your train of thought as you turn to look at Logan, entering the gymnasium.Â
Internally rejoicing at his choice of clothes - the white wifebeater under the oversized jacket - while simultaneously praying that he isnât here to stay, you get up from your seat to speak to him. âOh, nothing much. Just wanted to blow off some steam.â
âAnd youâre blowing off steam by⊠sitting on the bench?â He raises an eyebrow, looking at you questioningly.Â
You sigh through your nose, smiling exhaustedly. âNo, genius. I was confused about what I should do to destress.â
Your prayers go down the drain as you notice his eyes light up at the prospect of a sparring partner. Nodding to the mats, he asks, âYou wanna go?â
Tongue in cheek, you review your options for a moment. Go to bed frustrated and stressed, or fight an extremely attractive man whoâs also able to keep up with you.Â
âSure, letâs go.âÂ
And thatâs how you find yourself attempting to elbow Logan in the face. He dodges and takes a step back, but not too far. Turning, you see the grin etched on his face. Taking it as a challenge, you feign a movement to the right, but attack from the left. Your arm aims for his face, but he deflects it by pushing your momentum to one side, stepping away and behind you and putting you into a headlock.
âWhatâs up?â he murmurs into your ear. âCanât figure out what to do? Are you really that tired, huh?âÂ
You felt his chest heave from behind you, his warm breath tickling your ear. Body humming with excitement and mind buzzing with the thrill of finally being in an equal match, you grit your jaw, throwing your head back against his. As much as you enjoy the tone of his voice, you hope it hits him in the mouth just so he can shut up, because being aroused is not something youâre looking forward to.Â
Yes youâre horny, maybe even a little perverted, but you truly donât have any ulterior motives.Â
Logan hisses as his grip on you loosens. Shimmying your way out of his grip, you lunge at him, arms ready to swing, but instead of throwing a punch when you get near, you use your leg to swipe at his legs, resulting in him landing on his back.
Silently rejoicing, you straddle him, pulling your arm back to land a punch on his jaw, but unfortunately he grabs hold of your arms before you can do that. As a result, youâre left heaving on top of him, arms immobile, face right above his. You donât miss the way he breathes, sweat trickling down his forehead, eyes glinting with something you canât fully identify. You also donât miss the dampness of your underwear, the electricity you feel where youâre sitting on him.
You realize youâre playing a dangerous game. Just as youâre about to make a move to get up, Logan suddenly moves you by the grip he has on your arms, slamming you onto the mats with considerable force. He looms on top of you, looking down. You squeak in indignant surprise, but he pins your arms on both sides of your face, lodging his thigh between yours. You gasp, not expecting the sudden escalation of events.
âDarling, you know Iâve got a heightened sense of smell, right?â he asks, drawling. âI can smell your arousal, practically feel how youâre soaking down there.â
Eyes wide and mouth agape, you stare up at him, not sure what to say, how to apologize. âLogan, I- Iâm sor-â
âDonât have to say a word, Darling, Iâm the same as you,â he emphasizes his point by rolling his hips against yours. You whimper quietly, feeling his erection pressing against your clit.
âIf Iâm not interpreting this correctly, you can stop me,â he hums, getting closer to your face. Waiting for your approval, he looks at you. You close the distance between the both of you, borderline moaning as you feel his tongue grazing against your lips, asking to enter your mouth. More than willing, you grant him entry freely, whimpering as his tongue explores your mouth.
You break the kiss, short of breath, but your distance doesnât last long. Logan is sloppily making out with you as he grinds against you. Your bodies move hurriedly, in urgent need of release.Â
âLo,â you gasp between the kisses, âneed you so bad, please.â
He complies, hands leaving your arms as he gets on his haunches and quickly unbuttons your pants, pulling them down. His hand moves to your pussy, thumb pressing against your clit, gauging your reaction. Your eyes widen due to the unexpected movement, and you gasp. Satisfied with your response, he rubs short, quick circles against your clit, stimulating you as he slowly pushes in one finger.
You moan, hands reaching down to stop the sudden intrusion. Itâs been a while since youâve done this, so your bodyâs sensitivity is at an all-time high. Logan doesnât care, swatting away your hands, slipping in another finger. He moves them in shallow thrusts, stretching you out while looking for the spot thatâll finally get you wound up enough for his liking.
You bite your lip to keep yourself silent, staring at the way Loâs fingers pump in and out of you, making a mess out of your cunt. Suddenly, his fingers press into that spot that youâre never quite able to reach yourself, making you let out a loud moan. âLo, Lo please, right there please, donât stop-â you break your own voice off with an even louder whimper, eyes closing due to the pleasure.
Logan watches you with keen eyes trained on your face. He speeds up his fingers and thumb, enjoying your reaction thoroughly, as it ignites something deep within him. He palms himself lightly, hissing as he realizes how hard he is.
âShit, darling, you make me insane,â he mumbles, guiding one of your hands to the bulge in his jeans, making you feel him. Your mouth falls open with a little âoh,â as you feel him. You try to palm him to relieve some of his tension, but fail as his fingers pump in and out of you, driving you closer and closer to the edge.
âO- oh God, Lo, Iâm cumming, please please please-â you moan loudly as your orgasm crashes over you, thrashing on the mat. Logan holds down your hips, continuing his languid movements, easing you out of the feeling in waves.
As you finally relax, catching your breath, you look up at him, unsure of what comes next. Usually by this point, guys tended to take their own pants off. Loganâs were still very much on.
Before you could verbalize your confusion, he speaks. âI think weâve blown enough steam off in the gym,â he chuckles. âI donât want Charles to gimâme looks the entire month. I say we take this upstairs bub, what dâya say?â
You stare up at him, wondering why heâs even asking, when thereâs only one possible answer you could make out through the haziness of your mind. âYes, letâs go.â
author's note: This is my first ever logan fic, and my first overall full-length fic after a loooong time, so it'll probably be a bit botchy, but I hope y'all enjoy the self-indulgent logan content.
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Logan was not in the mood for surprises, or uncomfortable change. Heâd had enough of very major, very uncomfortable changes in the past month or so - changing history wasnât easy. So imagine his distaste when he got to the mansion after a seemingly easy mission the kids somehow managed to mess up, and instead of Jean, there was someone else thatâs supposed to treat him - you.
A new recruit, he guessed. Brows furrowed, face covered with a cheap surgical mask, but eyes full of wonder, you were doing this and that to Loganâs few, easily-healable injuries, attempting to fix them. Your fingers were nimble, and shockingly not ticklish at all. He wondered if you knew you didnât need to do half of what you were doing, considering the speeds at which Loganâs body tended to heal itself. Had Charles not told you? Well, whatever. He was too occupied with his cigar to want to speak anyways, so he waited. Waited and waited and kept on waiting for what seemed like forever but you werenât letting up.
âBub, are you creating new injuries to treat? I know sure as hell that it doesnât take that long to look at any wounds on my body,â he grumbled, sparing you a glance as you continued to do whatever the hell you were doing, paying no mind to him or his questions. Your eyes were focused as they flitted around, jumping from one spot on his arm to another on his wrist to a third on his neck. It caught him off-guard, a tiny bit, the blatant indifference you displayed - as if he wasnât an adult whose body you were tampering with, but a child who had to be dealt with. He didnât really like it. Nonetheless, he decided not to do anything. It was better to pass time on the bed and smoke peacefully rather than have to teach children History that he could barely remember.
Mind made up, he closed his eyes in relief, mentally applauding himself for successfully coming up with a reason to get out of class. When he opened them again, you were gone.
So was all the strength in his body.
. . . . .
âSo, what did you think? Was healing him of any help to you?â asked Charles, smiling in the controlled, calm way he usually did.
You shook your head, âNot really, no, because I didnât really heal him, you know?â
âOf course, you didnât heal him; Loganâs body is capable enough to do that on its own means. What I mean to ask is, was he any different? Were you able to access his energy or were you unsuccessful?â
âSemi-successful would be the word, professor,â you grimaced. Taking the cup of tea he offered, you continued, âI was really not able to make any sort of progress when he was awake, so when he rested himself, I decided to drain him out comple -â
You were interrupted by the sudden bang of a door opening. As you turned around, you saw Logan standing in the doorway in all his muscled glory. God, itâd been so difficult to focus on extracting his energy and not ogle all the time he was there - being able to treat the Wolverine, being able to touch him, it was no less than a dream. Honestly speaking, half the reason you werenât able to carry out energy identification and extraction easily was because of how distracted you were, how nervous. His muscles felt like God herself had carved them out of her best and favorite materials, while the intensity of his gaze seemed like fire itself burned inside them.
Your lust-filled train of thought was broken by Charlesâs voice as he addressed the man you were dreaming about. As you turned to him, you realized that Logan was glaring at you, excellently conveying his lack of desire to be dreamt about. âHello, Logan. How are you?â
âWho the hell is this, Charles? Why was she downstairs instead of Jean, and why the fuck did I feel like a dead body after she left?â
Oh.
Dream shattered.
You stood up hesitantly, nibbling on the inside of your right cheek, glancing at Charles for help. He didnât return your look, simply straightening himself a little bit and then saying, âLogan, this is Vitality. Sheâs a new recruit, and will be helping around the mansion for some time before sheâs ready to go on missions.â
Logan raised an eyebrow, lips pulled back in a sneer as he observed you. You felt practically naked under his gaze, and not in the good way; it was the kind of naked where thereâs goosebumps on your skin right as youâre about to step into a shower of extremely cold water in a comparably cold temperature.
âWhatever she might be here for and whoever she might be, I couldnât give less of a damn. I just want one answer â why did I feel so⊠so -â
âSo drained out?â you sheepishly suggested, noting his struggle to find the correct words. He didnât look like he appreciated it, but nodded to the affirmative anyways. âWell, thatâs because, as my name suggests, I deal with energy â any and all forms of energy, except what is found in living beings.â
âSo what were you doing to me?â
You found yourself cringing at his words. âI wasnât doing anything to you, Mr Logan, sir, I was experimenting with your energy. Remember how I said I deal with all energy except that of living beings? Thatâs because I canât control my abilities well enough to not hurt living being if I tamper with their energy.â You stopped. You didnât know how to continue explaining without possibly offending him.
âSo, Logan,â picked up Charles, âsince youâre someone who is beyond the risk of death, I asked her to try controlling your energy. It was supposed to be easier, more⊠convenient.â
Loganâs face had relaxed a bit, but he still looked confused and glanced at you for further explanation.
âYeah well, in short, you donât die and recover quickly and also have a lot of energy so you were the ideal candidate for me to practice on, but unfortunately I failed and ended up draining out all your physical energy for a short period of time,â you finished with a sorry expression your face, silently apologising.
âWhy didnât you tell me, professor?â
âSimply because youâd have spent more time asking where Jean is than actually helping in the experiment. Now,â he said, with an air of finality and dismissal, âif youâll please leave, so that we can continue our conversation.â
You silently thanked the professor, moving to sit back down. Yeah, you had, like, a bit of a celebrity crush on him or whatever. So what? He was still intimidating and made you want to run out of the room (not before staring at him a little more). As you turned back to the professor, you were grateful the interaction with the legendary mutant was over, but you were also curious about something. Something thatâd been mentioned throughout the conversation two to three times, and you felt like youâd already had enough of hearing.
Who the hell was - âJean. Where is she though, professor? Havenât seen her since yesterday.â
You swallowed, taken aback a little bit. Someone seemed to care about this Jean a lot. No one had told you the Wolverine had his heart set on some woman whose face you donât even know.
Well, whatever.
âJeanâs on a mission with Scott. Now if youâll excuse us, Logan?â
The aforementioned man grumbled something, then left after a quick, âRight, sorry.â
âI think we can resume our conversation now, no?â asked Charles, sipping a cup of tea, looking at you with a smile. Right as you started to nod, he said, âAnd oh, donât worry â youâll meet soon enough.â
Oh God, he can read thoughts. How stupid can you be?
Your embarrassment was only damped down by the mischievous twinkle in Charlesâs eye and his swiftness to steer the topic of the conversation back to what it was.
. . . . .
It had been a month since you were here. A month filled with practicing extraction and infusion of energy relentlessly, all while trying to make at least a few bare-minimum acquaintances with your colleagues and the children youâre supposed to teach.
In some fields, youâd been making progress. Under Charlesâs skilled eye, your abilities were sharpening quickly. Stormâs powers were similar to yours, so she would sometimes come and keep you company, sparring, chatting, lingering around. She was fun to be with â a good leader, but an even better friend. She was just the person you needed at this infantile stage of your journey to become an X-man. (X-woman? Whatever.) Youâd even started teaching some of the younger kids, and they all seemed to be liking you, more or less.
There was also the not-great part.
Namely, Jean and Logan.
See, you knew you hadnât started off on the best foot with Logan, seeing how youâd non-consensually (accidentally) drained him of his bodyâs physical energy for like ten or fifteen minutes, and so obviously itâd take some time for him to grow comfortable around you. Fair enough.
What wasnât fair, on the other hand, was the fact that Logan was either in his room, or on missions, or teaching, or with Jean. Not-single, in-a-relationship-with-Scott, Jean. (Yes, you had noticed they were dating thank you very much.)
The person whose energy you were physically unable to be around, that Jean.
It seemed a cruel trick by fate.
Youâd had a crush on him since forever, ever since youâd first seen him protecting kids on the news, and it wasnât as if you wanted to fuck him or anything, no! (Although you wouldnât be opposed to that.) But would it be wrong to want to be at least on talking terms with him? Apparently, yes. So you decided to just suck it up and carry on with your work. Thatâs what you were here for, thatâs what youâd do; to hell with anyone who was a distraction to you.
. . . . .
Holy shit, working with these people was so difficult. It wasnât the constant fights waiting to happen or powers waiting to erupt. It wasnât even the fact that all this newfound energy around you, all the damn time, unsettled you heavily. No, you could get used to that.
It was their utter refusal to cooperate that was posing to be a bit of an issue.
You had asked Charles to lend you, for lack of better terms, a few mutants different to each other in terms of their abilities, so that you could practice.
So you had in front of you, the entire team â how were you supposed to not die of nervousness?
âAlright then, shall we begin? Any of you can step up first, whoeverâs more comfortable,â Charles remarked quietly, observing from the sidelines the slight tremor in your arms and legs, coupled with the apprehension visible on the teamâs faces. Itâs a given, of course, the existence of the overall tone of nervousness. The team doesnât know you too well, hasnât known you for long, not even Storm.
You nod in response to Charles, signalling that youâre ready. For a beat or two, no one comes up. You stare at them, waiting; the moment you think Storm might step up, Logan strides forward and seats himself on the chair in front of you. You blink at him a couple times, not really expecting him to come up and offer himself for â for lack of a better word - experimentation so calmly when only a while ago heâd had a bad experience regarding the same thing?
Oh, well. It was a good thing, all things considered. You got someone to practice on, and it just so happened to be the person youâve had the meanest fattest crush on forever. Works out perfectly.
So, on Charlesâs cue and under the watchful eyes of all the X-men, âLogan, please close your eyes for a little bit.â As soon as he did, you started. You werenât really trying to extract or infuse copious amounts of energy, just weeding out the bits of excessive power, thatâs all.
But even though it seemed a small task, it had rendered you on your knees in only a few minutes, because a) energy extraction in living, sentient beings was not easy, b) it had only been your first or second time trying it and you were being extra careful, and c) Jeanâs energy, constantly at odds with her own self, was distracting you more than youâd like. And you were concentrating, really, you were, but Kitty, apparently, was not, as she fell through the roof and on to the ground a couple of feet away from you. Her fall distracted all your momentarily built focus onto her instead, as you lost the thread of energy you had been constantly pulling out. The thread turned into a pool of energy before you realised.
You looked up into Loganâs eyes â yours were probably more fearful than his, but you still tried to give him some sort of reassurance. You could observe how quickly you were sucking up his energy; his skin was paling in an unnatural way, eyes drooping, but you didnât know what to do. Youâd learnt how to extract, infuse, and return the energy back. You couldnât just skip the middle step, you didnât know how. As you were scrambling to figure out a solution, a voice rang out in your head.
âCalm down. Think. The solution is what comes naturally.â
Naturally? What comes naturally?
Oh, right â your own energy. You could just infuse his energy with the tiniest bit of yours, and itâd work (most probably), so thatâs what you did. You kept infusing and returning and repeating, but the amount of energy that had pooled out was so much that you were practically a cadaver by the time you were done sending it back.
âAre you okay?â you questioned softly, looking into the eyes of the man seated before you. You couldnât muster your voice to be louder, so you hoped that your whispers and desperation were enough to convey to Logan what you were asking.
Tilting his head just a bit, he nodded, looking increasingly renewed and full of energy. You breathed a sigh of relief, finally stopping the influx of energy into his body and standing up.
The task had taken an unprecedented toll on you, what with the unexpected amount of work. So of course, the blood seeping out of your nose and ears wasnât a surprise, nor was you fainting, unceremoniously falling to the ground right as a pair of arms gripped you.
. . . . .
When you woke up, you could make out several things right off the bat, without even fully coming to your senses - there were bunched up sheets digging into your back as your throat felt parched and scratchy. Needles pricked into your hands, slowly supplying glucose into your system, drip-by-drip. The air conditioning was making an unruly amount of noise. In the corner of the room, Logan sat on a stool, watching you with keen but tired eyes.Â
âYou finally up, Bub?â
It took you a second to register he was speaking to you. The movement of his lips seemed a bit unfamiliar. âUh, y-yes. Iâm up now. Awake.âÂ
âYou feel fine now? Because you definitely donât look the part,â he asked-or-said with the slightest smirk. At your consequent nod, he continued. âYou looked the spitting image of a dead body when you fainted, yaâknow? Had all of us scared, me especially, considering your decision to give me your energy or whatever.â
You tilt your head, confused. How did he know? âDid the professor tell you?âÂ
âDamn right he did,â he drawled, getting up from the stool and walking to your bed.Â
You wished the slight increase in heart rate would go unnoticed. Just because you werenât fully able to register your surroundings and connect the dots of what mightâve happened when you fainted, didnât mean that you were also unable to register the veins in his arms as he folded them over his chest. God, that damn wifebeater of his -Â
âHey, you alright?â As your eyes lifted up from his chest and arms to his face, you realised he looked sort of concerned. For you.Â
âUh-huh. Iâm good.â
He nodded to himself, âAlright then. Iâll go tell the professor that youâve woken up. You take some rest, okay? Donât move from here.â With a quick dip of his chin, he turned, walking to the exit. Right as he was about to reach, you called out for him.Â
âHey, Logan? Thanks for being here and keeping an eye on me.â
âWasnât even here that long, but donât mention it.â You were sure you saw the ghost of a smile on his face before he left.Â
You were also certain that the sudden increase in heart rate did not go unnoticed by him, heightened senses and all. You hid your face in your palms, screaming silently.Â
. . . . .Â
After that day, things with Logan improved, however slight the improvement may have been. Youâd gotten into a habit of greeting each other if you crossed each other in the halls and corridors, and if, by chance, both of you ended up at the breakfast table together then youâd have breakfast together too.Â
Did you still absolutely lose your mind over him whenever you saw him walking around wearing literally whatever? Yes. But there was also a sense of newfound respect you developed for him as you watched him work and train students. You and he often had to substitute classes, so youâd understood his manner of work and training. As rough around the edges as he seemed, he was still a very soft-hearted person, never going overboard on any of the children and apologizing immediately if he thought he did.Â
You were learning loads while working with him, and had to thank Professor X for that. So imagine your surprise when Charles called you into his office one day, and said âCongratulations, Vitality. Youâre ready for your first mission, on which Logan will be accompanying you. He and Storm already know what is to be done, theyâll brief you. Now if you donât mind, I have a class to take.â And with those words and a tiny smile, Charles sent you out of his office to embark on your first mission.Â
Your first mission, with Logan.Â
Oh God. You could absolutely scream.Â
Was this some kind of joke? How the fuck were you supposed to carry out such a nerve-wracking task with the most gorgeous man on the planet? Yeah youâd grown sort of comfortable around him, but not if you two were supposed to go to some remote place alone on the jet.Â
âVitality?âÂ
You turned as Storm called you, Logan lazily walking right behind her. âYes, what is it?â
âDid Charles inform you of the mission?â
âYes he did, but I donât really know the details.âÂ
âItâs alright,â she assured, âjust get ready to board the plane, Logan will explain everything to you on the way.â
. . . . .
The mission was simple. No fighting, just stealing. You had to go to some abandoned factory and take five vials of green-colored serum out of lots of multi-colored vials of serum. Youâd asked what the serum was for, but Logan didnât seem to know the answer himself, so you decided to drop it.Â
As you sat in your seat, belted in and anxious, you watched Logan. He was sitting beside you, curiously looking at the jetâs controls the same way a baby regards new toys. It was kind of cute. And also very distracting, because Logan looked very good in his uniform; you hadnât ever seen him wear it before this, so seeing him in it was doing things to you.Â
âHave I got something on my face?â
You flinched, surprised at being called out. Refocusing your gaze, you were met with Logan looking at you with a crooked half-smile. âYou were staring pretty hard there. Do I look that good in the uniform?âÂ
You resisted the urge to maniacally nod your head and instead settled for a meek apology. âS-sorry,â you squeaked out, more breathlessly than youâd like.Â
âItâs alright, I donât mind. Just didnât think youâd be into old men like me, is all,â he remarked gruffly.
âOld?â
âYes bub, old. âVe been around for a good couple of centuries.â
Your eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. Sure, he aged slowly, but 200 years? You never knew. Before you could continue the conversation, the jet landed in the middle of the clearing.Â
Both of you silently made your way inside the factory, no words exchanged, just vigilant gazes keeping check of everything around you. But even though there was no threat - nothing tangible, at least - you felt on edge. You were sensing a mixture of otherworldly and downright disturbing energies from various places within the factory, so when you finally reached the room with the vials, you couldnât have been more thankful.Â
With a silent look of understanding, Logan went in and retrieved the box containing the vials you needed. Mission complete.Â
But as you guys were walking out, you bumped into one of the racks and another vial - deep purple - fell and broke right onto your shoulder. Logan turned to you with alarmed eyes. âWhat the hell? Youâre not hurt, are you? Does it burn or something?â You quelled his worries and insisted to keep moving. After all, it didnât burn your skin, nor did it harm you in any physically visible way, and it was an obvious assumption that the leak of energy from your body could be addressed in the jet.Â
Unfortunately, you were incorrect. Despite going to the jet even faster than you guys had made it out, significant amounts of energy had started seeping out of you.Â
Gasping, you said, âThe serum probably had something to do with capability retention, that- thatâs why Iâm not able to maintain control.â You plonked down onto the jetâs floor, uncaring of the way the machinery around you rattled.Â
Logan hurried to you, cradling your head and making you look him in the eyes. âWhat dâya need, bub, huh? Tell me, tell me.â
âEnergy.â
He frowned deeply, confused. âEnergy? Yours?â
Your eyes had begun rolling to the back of your head; you were about to pass out. Shaking your head aggressively, you clarified, âNo, no, just- any energy works.â
Logan couldnât understand. How was he supposed to give you energy, when yours was slipping away so fast? His lack of comprehension was annoying you. You whined, pulling him closer, hugging him completely.Â
Skin-to-skin contact, the best way to get energy.Â
As you basically situated yourself in his lap and hugged him like a koala in an attempt to gain back some kind of energy, your half-coherent brain could not register the rigidity of Loganâs body for the first couple of seconds, instead misinterpreting it as refusal to help.Â
âLogan, please, I need you,â you borderline sobbed, shifting in his lap to make yourself comfortable, nuzzling yourself in your neck.Â
âW-wait a second,â Logan said shortly, trying to comprehend what was happening. He could see that the energy leaks were decreasing, but God. This was uncomfortable in ways that werenât exactly bad; it plagued him with guilt.
Oblivious to the workings of his mind and delirious due to the serum, you grabbed onto his arms, wrapping them around your waist, trying to get even closer. Tsk-ing, âWhy canât I get close enough?â
âDarlinâ,â Logan mumbled, voice a couple of octaves lower and blood rushing south, âcalm down. âM right here, youâll be jâs fine, promise.â He rubbed soothing circles into your back, attempting to placate your restlessness.Â
You lifted your face from the scruffiness of his neck, pouting as you looked up into his eyes. âPlease Logan, this isnât enough.â And God, he could not resist that face and that expression and that goddamned voice of yours, dripping with sticky-sweet honey and whining. So like any sane man, he did the only thing he could to get you both closer.
He grabbed a hold of your jaw semi-gently, making you look up at him. Once your eyes were finally focused enough, he leaned up to press his lips into yours. The kiss wasnât exactly supposed to be chaste, but with the speed you opened your mouth and demanded entry into his with your tongue caught him just a tiny bit off-guard.Â
He pulled back, watching you gasp for air. âThis close enough for you?â
You shook your head, shifting yourself further and attaching your mouth to his, determined to get the closest you could.Â
. . . . .Â
As you once again regained your senses on the infirmary bed, you could make out several things right off the bat - there were bunched up sheets digging into your back as your throat felt parched and scratchy. Needles pricked into your hands, slowly supplying glucose into your system, drip-by-drip. The air conditioning was still making an unruly amount of noise.Â
And of course, in the corner of the room, Logan sat on a stool, watching you with keen eyes. âYou alright there, darlinâ?â
You gulped, your throat feeling like the Sahara desert was in there. Youâd damn well have spontaneously combusted hearing him call you âdarlingâ, only you hadnât forgotten what youâd done in the jet a couple days ago.Â
âI-Iâm good, Logan. Are you okay?â
He smiled. âNever been better.â
You exhaled shortly. âGood, tha-thatâs great.â
âSure is.â
You tried to breathe quietly. You felt you breathed too loud. Especially in a room with Logan.Â
You were nervous.Â
âYou like Italian?â
Looking up, you were met with the sight of Logan, fiddling with his jeans pocket. Cute. âSorry?â
âDâyou like Italian, bub?â
âI guess, yeah.â
âGreat. Wanna try that new Italian place in the city? Scott wouldnât shut up about it.â
âSure, yes. Iâd love to,â you said, biting the inside of your cheek, trying to contain your smile.Â
him trying to be intimidating with the kitten hair is so funny to meâ baby idc if he has metal claws, is forever grumpy, and definitely killed 100+ people, heâs harmless!
summary: request here â when you signed up to become a solider in the rebellion, you never expected to be plagued with dirty thoughts of your boyfriend, finnick. who would have thought someone could make tactical gear look so good? you arenât too sure your self-control is strong enough to make it through the night, but things take a turn when you take a shift on watch.
pairing: finnick odair x fem!reader
warnings: established relationship, smut, thigh riding, manhandling, possessiveness, jealousy, unprotected p in v, risk of being caught, dirty thoughts/talk, mentions of war, angst, singular use of y/n please forgive me, gale, slow-burn-ish, emotional sex, teasing, fluff
notes: everyone say happy birthday to @odairsaurora
word count: 12.8k dear god
Becoming a soldier in the rebellion against the Capitol came with a lot of certitude and not exactly the good kind. The likelihood of encountering death was extreme. Making it out alive was possible; making it out unscathed wasnât. Even if you survived, you would be left with a life-long mental scar as a reminder of everything you have endured.
You knew all this when you signed up.
Even with all that knowledge, there were still countless uncertainties. Like not knowing where you would be laying your head to rest at night. Not knowing if you would even survive to be given the chance to rest at night. Being in a constant state of fight or flight. Always looking over your shoulder to make sure a squad member hadnât been lost to a Peacekeeper or a pod or a mutt. Making sure you hadnât lost the love of your life. Finnick.
But those uncertainties were predictable in combatâan oxymoron you had managed to wrap your war-torn mind around.
Something you never could have predicted was the lust. The overwhelming, all-consuming desire for Finnick that had engulfed you like a tonne of bricks the moment the first explosive pod went off and your sense of safety plummeted six feet below the ground.
Fire erupted in the air between the two buildings Katniss had shot her arrow through. Everyone was crouched together, watching in awe as they witnessed the sadistic lengths Snow was willing to go in an attempt to keep the rebels from reaching him. Your heart was beating so fast and every loud boom caused by the destruction had you recoiling in on yourself.
Finnick too was watching beside you, wearing a boyish grin as his shoulders shook lightly with suppressed laughter. He always was more favourable to dark humour, finding hilarity in situations others would find disturbing. You found it strangely attractive.
As you stared at him, the initial shock of the explosion started to wear off until it was no longer registering in your mind. All you could focus on was the dangerous curve of his lips, wishing they were somewhere on your body. Anywhere.
When he realised you were staring at him, his smile dropped and was replaced with a look of concern. He leaned towards you, voice a whisper though loud enough to be heard over the blaze in the distance, âYou okay?â
You werenât sure how to tell him your body was pulsating with fear, adrenaline, and desire all at once, so you nodded and hummed a pitchy, âMhm.â
You suspected it had something to do with the dangerous situation you were in. The possibility that any moment with him could be your last. With this information, your body seemed to switch into survival mode, only âsurvival modeâ seemed to mean it yearned to spend every possible second you had left with him. Which, yes, included wanting him to fuck your brains out every time he merely looked in your direction.
And the uniform, Jesus Christ, the uniform... Whoever designed it was a miracle worker. Quite literally.
In your eyes, nothing could have made Finnick look more attractive than he already was. That man radiated unparalleled beauty even on his worst days. But the second you saw him dressed head-to-toe in black tactical gear you knew you were sorely mistaken. He looked so commanding. So gorgeous.
So dominant.
Never, absolutely never had you been more attracted to anyone than you were to Finnick right at the moment. You felt like you had reverted to a younger version of yourself, the one before you were in a relationshipâshy, flustered, and stuck in a state of constant lewd daydreams.
He was adorned in straps and pockets for weapons and equipment, chest protected by sleek black armour. The only skin he had uncovered was from his neck up and his hands, making that tiny sliver of exposure so much more alluring than it should have been. His right thigh was strapped with a gun holster that cinched around his muscular thighs. You couldnât pinpoint why this made you so desperate to sit in his lap or straddle his thigh and justâ
âItâll be getting dark soon,â said Lieutenant Jackson, pulling you from your thoughts. âWe need to find somewhere to settle in âtil the morning. Streetsâll be even more dangerous at night.â
Nods of agreement echoed around the group. Messalla, you believed his name was, had mentioned there being a place nearby that could be used to camp out for the night. From avoiding hidden pods and scaling over rubble, it was clear what should have been a fifteen-minute journey would turn into an hour-long expedition.
Not that you were complaining.
Sure, that sounded selfish, but nobody was perfect, right? You were certain anyone else would feel the same if they got to spend an entire hour admiring their partnerâwho just happened to be Finnick Odairâlooking incredible whilst doing something as ordinary as walking. His black cargo pants kept tightening around his thighs with each smooth step he took. He kept alternating between holding his trident beside him and over his shoulder, muscles flexing through the thick material of his jacket each time he switched positions.
Sometimes you accidentally found yourself falling behind in pace, a subconscious desire to just watch him walk. It would take him a few seconds before he realised you werenât beside him anymore and then he would look back to find you staring in a flustered daze.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âJust regaining my energy,â you had replied.
He mustâve known it was a lie. He had to. Though if he did, he didnât say anything about it, just simply raised an eyebrow and held out his hand for you to take, which you did.
His fingers interlaced with yours. âI can carry you if you want?â
âThanks, but I think I might die of mortification.â
He laughed something deep and beautiful in response, voice vibrant as he spoke, âAt least itâd be in my arms.â
It was such a disconcerting sentence, but the sound of his voice was so alluring that you were conflicted between feeling distressed and turned on.
Eventually, you ended up finding the location Messalla was talking about, discovering that it was a ransacked cocktail bar nearing the outskirts of the city. Everyone was quiet as they settled in, the atmosphere heavy with both purpose and apprehension. Not Finnick though. He was his usual lively self, managing to pull a few responses from various squad members with his charming banter, even gaining a few small smiles here and there.
It took everything in you not to jump into his arms and crush your lips against his whenever he wrapped a large hand around your waist as he stood beside you during briefings about strategy and navigating the city. He kept asking if something was wrong, kept giving you these funny looks in response to your strange behaviour, but you refused to tell him. It was wrong. Positively immoral.
You eventually sat together on a long leather stool, shoulders pressed up against one another, his hand wrapped innocently around your thigh in a need for constant connection. He kept trying to make conversation with you, but you could barely muster up a single sentence in response. Not with his hand touching you so. Not with him looking like that.
His hair was dishevelled in the most perfect way that not even a prep team could attempt to reconstruct it. In any other circumstance, your hands would have already found their way into his golden locks, tugging and scratching lightly to coax a pleasured sigh from his lips. In any other circumstance, your lips would have already attached themselves to the exposed skin of his neck, tracing the length of his artery with your tongue so he would be tilting his head to the side in a silent plea for more.
In any other circumstance, you would be sitting in his lap, hearing the rough material of his attire rustle against yours as you felt him thrust in and out of you.
You crossed your legs.
âWhatâs going on in that gorgeous head of yours?â
You blinked back into existence. Finnick was staring at you, his hand now interlocked with your own and stroking the side of your palm with his thumb. A ray of golden setting sunlight painted a strip of light across the lower half of his face, across his mouth. Your gaze flickered between his eyes and lips, lingering longer and longer on the latter. They stretched into a sweet, reassuring smile. He must have thought you were anxious.
âItâs okay to be scared, you know,â he continued. âEveryone here is scared. Iâm scared. I know it may not look like it because Iâm just so effortlessly calm and collectedââ His expression morphed into faux-arrogance for a moment, lips smirking and eyes sparkling with smugness, and your stomach did a somersault ââbut I am. So itâs okay to admit that you are too. I just need you to talk to me.â
You felt so guilty like you had just committed the worst crime in the world. He was on an entirely different wavelength to you, all concerned about your wellbeing meanwhile your thoughts were running rampant with lust. It bordered on nymphomania. You felt like the worst person alive. Why were you thinking about sex in a time like this? Why did Finnick have to be wearing tactical gear? Why, why, why, why, why?
The sudden need to confess was overwhelming and the way he was looking at you so intently wasnât helping. Then his hand was back on your thigh and kneading it gently in encouragement.
Your thighs squeezed together. God help you if he felt it.
The confession was threatening to burst from the tip of your tongue:Â You just look so fucking sexy right now and Iâm afraid that if I donât feel you inside me soon I might actually die but Iâm also terrified to tell you because I know I shouldnât be feeling this way when we are literally in the middle of a war and the fact that you are so oblivious is turning me on so much more so please take me into a supply closet and fuck some sense into me before I lose my fucking mindâ
Woah.
Could it be the effects of a pod? Did the Gamemakers release some sort of invisible gas that acted as an aphrodisiac which was lethal without relief? If that were true, wouldnât everyone else be in the same boat as you were? Wouldnât everyone else look as flustered and rigid as you did right now? Wouldnât Finnick?
No. It was just you. Somehow that made it even worse.
Finnickâs brows arched inwards as he awaited your response. Your mind flashed back to another time when his brows were arching and lips were spilling filthy obscenities due to your own manipulation. Jesus fucking Christ, your stomach felt so tight it ached. You were throbbing at the thought of it.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
The words were rising into your throat no matter how hard you tried to swallow them. Your mouth opened to speak, disregarding all the consequences that came with admitting such a thing in such an inappropriate situation. And then the sound of an engine in the distance suddenly cut you off.
Everyone moved onto their feet, on alert due to the incoming vehicle.
âStand down everyone. Itâs friendly,â said Jackson.
You werenât too sure âfriendlyâ had been the right term as you watched Peeta step out of the rover Coin had sent him in.
His arrival brought with him a heightened sense of tension. There was no telling what state of mind he was in or when he was going to snap and become the violent hijacked version of himself. Finnick had decided to take on the responsibility of assigning himself Peetaâs guard to make sure he didnât cause harm to anyone in the squad or himself. Also because thatâs just who Finnick was. Selfless and kind.
And where Finnick went, so did you, meaning his already highly protective nature over you increased monumentally. He never let you out of his sight, always kept you within arms-length, and always kept a hand somewhere on your body. You really, really did try to contain yourself. You tried to suppress the heat flushing your entire body. Tried not to sigh every time his fingers pressed into your waist the slightest bit or whenever he curled his hand around your inner thigh and gave it a territorial squeeze as you sat beside each other on the leather couch. But it was so hard when he was acting so dominating over you.
Even Peeta who was aloof and struggling with his sanity half the time seemed to notice Finnickâs sudden possessiveness.
âAfraid Iâm gonna try and take her off you, Finnick?â Peeta had said.
It was meant to be a joke, but the tone of his voice was so flat and devoid of life, it made you feel a little uneasy.
Finnickâs hold on you tightened ever-so-slightly and his jaw clenched. It must have been so strange for him. You hadnât known Peeta before moving to District Thirteen, but Finnick did. You had heard stories of the boy who enjoyed baking and painting, who was known for his love for Katniss and his kindness that never wavered even when thrown into an arena and forced to murder other tributes.
That was the boy Finnick knew; the person in front of him now was a stranger.
Peeta must have sensed the tension he had caused as he averted his gaze. âKidding.â And then a few seconds later, he murmured, âSorry.â
You felt terrible watching as the little life he had in his eyes seemed to deflate even more than they had as he internally berated himself. How awful it must be to not have control over yourself, to be a broken shell of the person you once were. You couldnât imagine the same happening to Finnickâthe light he exuded dimming to a cold, dark, pale glow. The mere thought of it had your heart threatening to break in two.
Finnickâs grip on you relaxed and his eyes grew softer. âDonât worry about it,â he said, empathy pervading his voice. He was quiet for a short moment before he started smiling softly to himself. âBut Peetaââ Peetaâs attention was back on him ââjust for future reference: sharing is caring is not a concept I apply to Y/N.â
For the first time since his rescue, you saw Peeta smile back at him. âIâll keep that in mind.â
**********
Darkness had finally veiled the city, drenching the bar in ominous shadows and beams of silver moonlight. Silence filled the room apart from the occasional startled gasp or yelp as multiple squad members awoke from horrific nightmares. The very back of the bar was scattered with various sleeping figures, most lying on the floor in an attempt to remain unseen from any potential passers-by outside.
It was your shift on watch, hours twenty-two hundred to zero-one hundred. You were sitting on the same leather stool as earlier but now it was positioned so that you had a clear view of the streets outside.
Finnick had tried to convince Boggs to let him take your shift for you, being his usual chivalrous self and all. But much to his dismay, not even his charm and million-dollar smile could persuade that man. Then he offered to join you, but you refused. Spending time alonewith him atnight would have been disastrous; even during the day, you had a hard time keeping your feelings under wraps.
The final stretch was coming up with twenty minutes to go. The boredom was a killer, leaving you to alternate between scanning the streets and glancing over to where Finnick slept. Well, knowing him, he was probably wide awake worrying about you being left alone for three hours, picturing different anxiety-inducing scenarios behind his closed eyes.
One of his legs was arched whilst the other was extended flat on the floor. He had an arm behind his head acting as a pillow and his other hand was lying on his stomach, fingers subtly tapping in a wave-like pattern.
Definitely awake.
That little detail certainly fuelled your imagination, knowing he was right there lying awake with you on his mind whilst everyone else was probably asleep. What really had your mind buzzing was the fact that the hem of his jacket had ridden up, just barely exposing the tanned skin of his torso and the contour of his v-line which led down to hisâwait, was he smiling?
Maybe it was just a trick of the light, but you swore his lips were curving into a small smirk. But that would mean he knew you were staring at himâŠ
You turned back around to the streets, blushing deeply.
âNo,â you murmured to yourself. âYouâre just tired.â
Maybe you were, maybe you werenât. But as you stared out into the night air, the only image that plagued your mind was one of Finnick fucking Odair smirking.
Goosebumps washed over your body, sensitive against the rough material of your attire. First, he was smirking, then he was taking you into his arms, then he was kissing you, caressing you, sliding a hand beneath your shirt, into your pants. You almost reached the part you enjoyed the most, but a troubling noise pulled you from your thoughts. A pair of footsteps.
Heavy and purposeful, they came from behind you.
Oh god, you thought, feeling the anticipation build exponentially inside you. He saw me looking. He knows. He knows what Iâve been thinking all day. He knows. What am I going to do? What am I going to say? Whatâ
âHey,â a deep voice said quietly.
You looked up to find Katnissâs blue-eyed counterpart standing beside the couch.
âGale?â
Oh, thank god.
âYeah.â He sat down beside you with a soft grunt. âSorry to disappoint.â
Even he knew you were expecting Finnick. You shook your head at him as if the idea was absurd, but in reality, you were a little disappointed. Although your shoulders were only just now dropping back into a relaxed state, you found a deep part of yourself actually wanting Finnick to come and find you out. The anticipation, harrowing as it was, was also exhilarating.
All you could think about was him interrogating you, pulling answers from your lips with just a stern look. Towering over you in his black tactical gear, muscular arms crossed and shoulders broad. Teasing you in an unforgiving tone for thinking such dirty things about him even though you knew he was having the exact same thoughts.
Gale shifted beside you and you suddenly realised you had spoken in well over a minute.
You cleared your throat. âCanât sleep?â
He stared straight ahead, breathing out a half-hearted chuckle as though your question was a fleeting amusement. âCourse not.â
Gale was alright. He was a little too headstrong and insensitive at times, but he wasnât terrible. Pretty much anyone who wasnât Snow or stood with Capitol was alright in your books. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, didnât like him one bit.
âYou know if Finnick sees you, youâre in for it, right?â you warned, giving him a short glance.
âHe doesnât like me very much, does he?â
Your eyebrows raised, inhaling a deep breath as you recalled their brief history. The first time they met, Gale had believed Finnick was in love with Katnissâsomething the two of you found humour in almost religiouslyâand therefore, spent most his days shooting glares and making snide comments towards him.
It came as quite a shock to Gale when he discovered it wasnât Katniss who Finnick was in love with, but you. How he hadnât realised sooner was beyond the both of you as you and Finnick were pretty much attached to the hip. He got there in the end, at least.
First impressions were everything though. After that, Finnick never really grew to enjoy Galeâs presence too much. During field training for the rebellion, Fate decided to spur on their little feud even further by having you be paired up with Gale for training exercises. Neither of you was very happy about it in the beginning, wanting to be with each otherâs loved ones instead. Shockingly, your shared time together sparked up a small friendship.
Finnick wasnât the most approving.
âHe thinks you like me,â you said.
He looked at you, brows furrowed. âI do like you.â
See? Even Gale couldnât comprehend what you really meant because of how ridiculous it was. You shot him a knowing look.
His expression morphed into one of understanding. âOh, as in like you like you. Really? Does he not know that I liââ
âLike Katniss? Yes, Iâve told him many times.â
âWell, I guess some people just wonât be told.â
You scoffed, recalling how he had the same way of thinking not too long ago. Oh, how the tables have turned. âThatâs rich coming from you.â
Gale laughed quietly, nodding as his gaze moved back to the darkness. âYeah, guess youâre right.â
âAm I interrupting something?â
Your head whirled to the side, heart jolting in your chest.
There Finnick was, standing beside the stool as he smiled politely at you and Gale, his eyes burning with anything but civility. Your heart dropped at the sight of him. Down into your stomach and then even further below in between your thighs.
His lips twitched as he looked between the two of you. His piercing eyes settled on yours for a moment; the way you gulped was almost comical.
âNo,â Gale said cautiously. âJust passing time.â
Finnick nodded indifferently and averted his gaze as though he hadnât a worry in the world. You knew better though. You knew there was a fire scorching just below his skin, boiling in his bloodstreamâthe common symptoms of jealousy. They were symptoms you knew all too well. People often had trouble keeping their eyes off him back in Thirteen. Sometimes their hands too. Thatâs when your jealousy turned to loathing. A feeling you and Finnick both shared whenever it happened.
âThen you wonât mind if I join you?â he asked, although it came out more like a command.
Was it wrong to find Finnick being jealous so attractive?
âActually, I, uh,â Gale stammered, pushing himself up onto his feet, âI should probably be getting some sleep.â
You couldnât blame his slight panic. Finnick could be incredibly intimidating when he wanted to be.
Gale shot you a tight parting smile and you mouthed an apology in return.
âWise choice,â Finnick said as Gale walked past him and began making his way to the back of the bar. You were surprised neither of them knocked shoulders as he did. Though Finnick did add a sarcastic âSweet dreams!â as you both watched Gale disappear into the shadows.
You turned back to Finnick to see him already looking at you, pride gleaming in his eyes. What a man.
âYouâre such an ass.â
He smiled at you humorously. âOnly to him.â
You shook your head. âHe doesnât evenââ
âLike you? Yeah, yeah, I know,â he said, and a flash of a smile graced your lips at the way he cut you off the same way you did Gale. Always so in tune with each other. Honestly, it was a wonder you ever managed to have a conversation with one another. He sat down beside you, his legs brushing against yours. âCall me possessive. Maybe a little obsessed too.â
âA little?â
âOkay, very.â
âDonât worry,â you said, smiling openly now, âthe feelingâs mutual.â
He returned your smile with one of his own and for a second, for a tiny splinter of a second, you had a flicker of hope that you might be able to handle being alone with him after all.
âWell, Iâd certainly hope so,â he murmured warmly.
Then his hand was sliding onto your thigh, fingers curling and kneading innocently.
It was like a fiery aura suddenly reignited around him, both magnetising and disastrously alluring. Your eyes widened slightly from his touch. That overwhelming attraction from before returned with a tenfold increase in intensity. It was so powerful that you had to look away.
A deafening silence settled between you. Despite this, your thoughts were thunderous; so loud that it was impossible to tune them out. He had to know what he was doing to you, how he was making you feelâit was practically scrawled in bold red writing across your forehead.
Your arms were folded over your lap, afraid that if you moved them you would lose control. You glanced at Finnick to see him staring out at the shadowed buildings with a thoughtful gaze. His jaw was set in place, angled perfectly like it had been chiselled with a file. That spot where his jawline and neck connected was just begging for the touch of your lips. Or was it the other way around?
Your eyes fell further to see his other hand resting on his own thigh, clad in now-tightly-fitted black cargo pants.
Oh, no, this was all too much. You were supposed to be fighting a war, not your own damn carnal urges.
âYouâve barely spoken to me today,â Finnick suddenly spoke in a gentle tone. The guilt increased. âIf youâre feeling like this is too much to handle then thereâs no shame in going back home.â Shame. Guilt. Too much. âWe can return to base and get a hovercraft back to Thirteen. Both of us. Iâll be right by your side. Always.â
God, you loved him so much.
âI love you so much,â you accidentally exhaled.
His expression morphed into one of puzzlement, reflecting what you felt on the inside when the words slipped past your lips. âI love you too?â he chuckled.
You quickly tried to recompose yourself. âButâuh, itâsâitâs not that.â
âNo?â He tilted his head. âWhat is it then?â
On the outside you were composed, disregarding the hot pink flooding your cheeks, although it was probably too dark to be seen. But on the inside, panicked mantras ricocheted from every corner of your mind over and over. A war between two sides, two voices that said, âTell himâ and âDonât tell himâ was raging. You were starting to grow tired of the constant indecision, the ever-present need to confess, and the unrelenting tightness in your stomach you felt whenever you so much as thought about him.
So finally, you decided to create a side of your own. You were going to show him.
Your eyes dropped to the hand curled around your thigh and you inhaled a silent deep breath. Tentatively, you unfolded your arms and moved to rest your hand on top of Finnickâs. He remained still, only watching your movements with curiosity. Your gaze trailed up his arm, over his broad shoulders, the tempting length of his neck, the sharpness of his jaw, and then finally landed on his hypnotically green eyes.
He was looking at you and you were looking at him. There was no point in trying to conceal the fervent darkness manifesting in your gaze nor how it kept dropping to his soft pink lips. He noticed. You knew he did because he too was starting to succumb to the darkness and, fuck, did it look incredible on him.
You hadnât meant to do itâsqueezing your thighs around his hand. It was just, the ache was growing too much for you to handle without relief, and he looked so damn good.
Finnickâs eyes squinted ever-so-slightly at your revealing gesture and they seemed to impossibly grow a shade darker.
âWhat have you been thinking about?â he asked slowly.
And it was at this point you were certain that he was finally coming to some understanding. It was easy to tell from his twisted smile and scrunched brows, the way he spoke as though he was baiting you into giving an answer he already knew.
Your lips parted as you stared up at him, finding your breaths to become shaky and slightly heavier as the tension thickened. Finnickâs fingertips pressed firmly into your inner thighs and you let out a quiet gasp.
He knows, he knows, he knows.
âHm?â he pressed further.
Somehow the space between you and Finnick had closed drastically without you even noticing. His face was five or so inches away from yours, peering down at you with a smirk he was trying to repress. He smelled of sea salt and smoky debris though still had a hint of that one rich scent of cologne you always found so intoxicating.
âIâve beenâŠâ
He was closer now. You could feel his breath fanning across your skin.
âYouâve beenâŠ?â he enticed, knowing he was making it so much harder for you to conjure the words.
Your hand was clutching his because if he so much as shifted a millimetre, you would lose it. You couldnât move. Your eyes were on Finnickâs lips, watching as they grew closer and closer. How could he expect you to tell him anything when you were immobilised from his touch? How could he tease you so when you were very obviously having a hard time keeping yourself composed?
Instinctively, your head was beginning to tilt forward to give him easier access, even though you knew he wouldnât give you anything unless you gave him an answer first. But you couldnât tell him. You couldnât. The words were there on the tip of your tongue, but they wouldnât leave your mouth. And you were absolutely certain of this when the warm touch of his soft lips grazed your own.
It was too much. Too much and too wrong.
âIâm thinkingâŠâ you began with a whisper, feeling your lips ghost over his, âitâs your turn to keep watch, Solider.â
His eyes snapped up to yours as you pulled away.
Without a word, you rose to your feet, feeling Finnickâs hand slide off your thigh; for a split second, you regretted your decision. You turned away, inhaling shaky breaths as you attempted to round the corner of the leather stool. Anxiety buzzed through your entire body and rightfully so, because just as you made it around the bend, you heard a pair of rushed footsteps trailing after you.
Suddenly, an arm was wrapped around your waist from behind, pulling you backwards.
A startled gasp made it halfway past your lips before a large hand was clamped over your mouth. The other, which had forced you backwards, was splayed across your lower abdomenâvery much lower, mind youâand had your back trapped against the firm torso of your capture.
Your heart was already thrumming like a hummingbird inside your chest, but it just about gave out when you felt the hard length pressed against your backside.
Finnickâs words were hot in your ear. âThatâs not fair, sweetheart,â he spoke, his tone disapproving and full of false offence. âYouâve been giving me the eyes all day, yet you canât even admit it when I ask nicely?â
Horror ran cold through your blood and your eyes widened.
He must have sensed the rigidness in your body as the next sound that came from his mouth was a low chuckle. âWhat, you thought I hadnât noticed?â
You were in shock. Borderline catatonic in his arms. Every time you crossed your legs whenever the pressure between them became too much. Every time you fell behind the group to watch him walk. Every time you stared at him imagining that he was pounding into you or had his mouth between your thighs. He knew. The whole fucking time, he knew.
The hand covering your mouth lowered to your neck and held it gently, thumb stroking a delicate trail over your skin as Finnick awaited your response. You were hastily scanning the room in front of you, praying that all its occupants were either dead asleep or blinded by the darkness.
âI didnât mean to,â you squeaked out. âI tried toâto control it.â
Your head was turned abruptly and suddenly shadowed green eyes were peering down into your own.
âYou didnât mean to,â he mocked. âThatâs what you tell yourself, sweetheart, but every time you looked in my direction, you were dragging me towards you.â
His hand, which was on your stomach, lowered a quarter inch and your own hand went flying to prevent it. Not because you didnât want him to go any further, but because you were scared of having an⊠audible reaction that might reveal both you and Finnick to the group.
âAnd deep down thatâs what you wanted, wasnât it?â he continued.
Your lips were parted though not a single word could pass them. Your inner brows were cinched upwards, the speechlessness evident in your expression. Finnick quickly realised this was the case and his eyes twinkled with mischief under the moonlight.
He lowered his head into the space between your jaw and shoulders, pressing an agonisingly slow kiss to your neck. Your head automatically tilted to the side, a soft sigh escaping your mouth as your eyes closed.
He then returned to hover beside your ear. âWasnât it?â he asked again, the sound smooth like warm honey.
And you couldnât help but submit to his trickery. âYes,â you whispered, leaning into his chest as a silent plea for more.
âTell me.â
Your eyes fluttered open. âWhat?â
His hand dipped much further below your lower abdomen and landed on the place which would surely have you both sent back to Thirteen if caught, but only for a fleeting moment. Before you had a chance to react, he had spun you around to face him.
From the way he was looking down upon youâso penetrative and depravedâyou knew exactly how the night would end. For better or for worse. He was holding you tightly against his body, the only parts of yourself not touching him were your lips, although that would undoubtedly soon change.
âTell me,â he said, lowering himself until his lips found your jaw, âwhat youâve been thinking aboutââ Then he placed another kiss on the side of your neck ââall day.â And then he pressed another to your collarbone.
Your fingers had found themselves delving into his hair as he continued leaving hot kisses across your skin. The struggle to keep a whine or soft moan from slipping past your parted lips was excruciating. Finnick could definitely feel your struggle from the way you were lightly tugging at his hair.
âTell me,â he repeated against your skin and you accidentally let a heavy, pleasured breath escape.
There was no point in denying him now.
âYou just look so good, Finn,â you confessed.
You were certain you could feel him smiling into each kiss he placed. He only hummed to encourage you further, so you did.
âIâveâIâve never seen you in all black before or in tactical gear. And the way youâve been acting towards me, so serious and protective andâŠâ The word dominant was on your tongue, but you couldnât find it in yourself to speak it aloud. âSeeing you like that reallyâŠâ He finally lifted his head from your neck, lips now a deep peachy shade, gaze awaiting your words. You lowered your eyes bashfully for a moment before returning them to his. ââŠturned me on.â
He was grinning now. His head had tilted an inch to the side as though he hadnât quite expected you to actually admit your thoughts. Where the sudden surge of confidence came from was unknown, but you welcomed it nonetheless. Finnickâs mouth opened to speak but it was then in that very moment that you decided why the hell not just get it all out at once?
So, you stood on your toes, placed a hand on the back of his neck, and brought him down to your lips to cut him off. You kissed him deeply, sensually, in a way that would muddle his thoughts and give you time to continue your confession. When you were done and saw that slightly dazed look in his eyes, you knew it had worked.
âIâm not finished,â you whispered.
All he could do was scoff quietly in disbelief. Hell, even you were in disbelief of yourself.
âAt first, I thought somehow you had done it on purpose. You do love to tease me, donât you?â you asked, although it was rhetorical. âBut then I realised it wasnât your doing. It was the designers back in Thirteen who I had to thank for putting you in something like this.â You slid a hand up his torso, over his chest, and then down the length of his bicep, and he watched you every step of the way.
âMaybe I should thank them myself if this is the effect it has,â Finnick said.
You kissed him again and he seemed to understand the meaning behind it: shut up. He nodded, smirking humorously, and you continued. âDo you know how hard it was for me to sit beside you and do absolutely nothing?â you asked, but he knew better than to answer. You pressed a hand to his chest and slowly began walking him backwards. âYou did, didnât you?â
His Adamâs apple bobbed as he swallowed back his words. He always liked being in control. But it was your turn now. He stared down at you, thoughts of sin visible in his eyes as you spoke.
âYou knew the whole time,â you said. âBut, you know, the idea I had of you being so clueless turned me on even more.â You continued walking him backwards until his legs hit the edge of the leather stool and he was forced to sit down and have you look down upon him. He looked good like that, you thought. âEspecially whenever you put your hand on my thigh.â
With that being said, you lowered yourself onto Finnickâs thigh, straddling him with one leg on either side. Your hands were holding onto his broad, broad shouldersandhis arms automatically wound around your waist. He had this strange look on his face as he gazed up at you, a mix of admiration and love and⊠submission? Yes, submission.
You pushed his hair back from his forehead, fingers affectionately combing through the soft bronze strands. He only watched you in silence. Finnick Odair had never been rendered speechless in his life. Having it be first done so by you only made him love you so much more. He would daresay he was proud.
âEvery time you put your hand on me, I imagined this,â you said, putting more of your weight on his thigh until you could feel the blissful pressure between your own. A hot shaky sigh left your mouth. âI⊠I imagined you holding me like this, looking at me the way you are right now.â A little smile stretched across his lips. âI didnât think it would actually happen. Not like this. This is wrong.â
Finnick dragged your body closer to him and you suppressed the urge to moan. His brows were furrowed together with a look of firmness. âThereâs nothing wrong with you loving me,â he finally spoke. âNothing wrong with me loving you, either.â
âBut in a time like this? A place like this?â
He didnât miss a beat as he smirked and shrugged. âWe just have to be quiet about it.â
You stared at him for a moment. He made it sound so simple, like doing something like this could be done with ease. There was a large group of peopleâsoldiers, no lessâthirty feet away from you. Yes, they were sleeping and, yes, the darkness was too blinding in the back of the bar to see a foot ahead of you, but still, if anyone somehow saw, that would be the end of your dignity.
Finnick seemed to notice the distant look in your eye. His hands moved down to your hips and he tensed the thigh you were straddling, holding you down on his leg as he bounced it once. The sound that came out of your mouth, a noise of shock and pleasure, almost made him laugh. What it did do was make him even harder than he already was.
âYouâve tortured me all day, Finnick,â you whined, pressing your forehead to his.
He brought a hand to your cheek, stroking the line of your cheekbone with tenderness. âAnd what is it that you think you have done to me every single day since we first met, sweetheart? I just had to make sure there wasnât a power imbalance in this relationship, thatâs all.â
âYouâre cruel.â
âSo cruel,â he agreed with the slightest teasing pout. âIâm just horrible, arenât I?â
To emphasise his point, he brought both his hands back to your hips, held you down, and slowly began rocking you back and forth over his thigh. Your stomach dropped and pulsed and, christ, you wouldnât have been surprised if it had turned inside out altogether. A moan, too loud for your comfort, left your mouth. You couldnât help it. This was exactly what you had been daydreaming about all day.
âYou are,â you whispered with a shaky breath. âHorrible, cruel, andâand incredibly frustratingâŠâ
He tsked his tongue. âI know,â he cooed, continuing to force your hips to grind on his thigh. âShould I make it up to you?â
âI might go crazy if you donât.â
He wore a lopsided grin. âWell, we wouldnât want that.â
And as suddenly and beautifully as stars could collide, your lips were on his. It was like a bout of adrenaline had surged through your body. Your hands were in Finnickâs hair, desperately pulling him closer all while tugging at the strands so he would leave those deep, pleasured sounds on your lips.
His hands were everywhere. They had left your hips because it was clear that you were now doing to work of getting yourself off for him and now he was grasping at any place on your body he could reach. He had encircled your waist and pulled you tightly against him. He had held you by the back of the neck, by the jaw, by the neck. He had managed to undo your ponytail, letting your hair fall around your face like a barrier from the outside world.
He had slid his hands under your jacket and left a trail of warmth up your spine, fingers pressing into the ridges of your shoulder blades as his tongue factored in to deepen the kiss. You would never get used to itâhow he managed to make every kiss and act of devotion feel like the first. You would never get used to Finnickâs love.
You held onto his shoulders, grinding yourself down over and over, feeling the firmness of his thigh and the roughness of your pants rub against your clit. Your lips parted from his for a mere second as you moaned. It felt so good yet still, you knew it could be even better. It was all too muchâthe sensations, the risk, the way Finnick lookedâand still not enough. You wanted to be closer to him.
Your leg which was in between his was rubbing against his cock each time you moved. Even through all those layers of clothing you could feel it, hard and aching. All those sounds you knew he was keeping locked up inside, the deep guttural groans, the shaky moans, you wanted to hear them. Fuck, you so desperately wanted to hear them.
âFinnâŠâ you sighed contently as you broke away from his lips.
Hips still grinding, you peered at him through your lashes. His eyes were closed, eyebrows scrunched together as though he were suppressing the pleasure he was feeling. Anywhere but here, you thought, why couldnât we be anywhere but here?
âFinnickâŠâ you whispered again.
He slowly opened his eyes, and you leaned your forehead against his. A heavy exhale left his body, one he must have been holding in. âGod, youâre perfect,â he sighed and reached a hand up to cup your jaw. âI love you so much. Do you know how much I love you?â
Bombs were going off in your chest, each one exploding with every thump of your heart. It was fitting considering your circumstances. Finnick was so beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, and you loved him with every inch of your entire being and you wanted to say the words because this very well could be your last night alive together, but you werenât too sure if you could speak without making any other type of noise.
So, you brought your lips back to his once more, kissing him oh so deeply and reverently. I love you, I love you, I love you. And then his touch was gone entirely.
You had slid off his thigh, now on your feet as you looked down at him. He looked almost pained to have you out of his arms and you were certain you looked the same, though it wouldnât be for long. After a quick scan of the dark surroundings, you deduced that there was no way anyone could see you from the back of the bar. You returned your gaze back to Finnick.
Eyes unrelenting from his, you began slowly dragging down the zipper on your jacket. As it fell to the floor, you moved on to pulling your undershirt over your head. Finnickâs attention never wavered. He followed each and every movement you made, his chest inflating more heavily with each deep breath he took.
After unbuttoning your pants and letting them slide to the floor, you stepped out of the pile of clothing, completely bare except for your underwear and bra. It wasnât exactly warm nor cold but being so exposed in the dead of night in a place you were supposed to be keeping watch while under the watchful wandering gaze of your love was bound to shroud your body in chills.
You hugged your arms around yourself.
Finnick simply looked at you as though you were the most, if not, the only beautiful thing that had ever graced the earth.
âCome here,â he said softly, holding out his hand.
The confidence you had previously felt simmered down into meek submission the second you had stripped bare in front of him. So, as you walked towards him, you couldnât help but feel the timidness reveal itself in each of your steps. Your hand glided into his and he gently pulled you forward, guiding you to straddle his entire lap instead of just his thigh.
You could feel him pressing into you, his cock separated by mere millimetres of fabric from where you needed him most. It felt even more intimate to have his clothing against your exposed skin; you could feel the warmth of his body trapped within the threads of his pants and jacket and it seemed to ease your nerves.
He reached between your bodies and started to unzip his own jacket, but wasnât the main reason you were in this position because of his clothing? Why would you want him to take them off?
Before he could unzip, you placed your hand over his. âNo,â you said. âLeave it on.â
His eyes flickered silently between yours. âNo oneâs ever told me to keep my clothes on before,â he said, and you could tell by his confused smile that he was unsure whether to feel amused by the irony of your actions or saddened by his past with the Capitol.
It was easy for you to decipher your own feelingsâyour heart ached for him.
You leaned forward and took his face into your hands, pressing a kiss to his forehead, then both his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and finally to his lips. All you could do was hope he felt the immeasurable love you placed into each one.
âYou are just as attractive with your clothes on as you are when theyâre not,â you whispered.
And it was true. If he at any point decided he no longer wanted you to see him naked, you would respect it, you would understand it, and honestly, it just wouldnât phase you. Because you knew that he would react the same if the roles were reversed. Because your love for each other surpassed the bounds of your physical bodies and you were certain at the dawn of time, he and you were two atoms revolving around one another with the same amount of gravity and reverence you shared now.
Finnickâs hands were now gliding up and down your back; it was like he was setting a fire beneath your skin. His eyes were staring into yours, so full of emotion that you werenât sure whether or not you should continue.
âTell me you donât want this, Finn,â you said, âand weâll stop.â
He shook his head and offered you a small smile. âI want this,â he said, earnestly. âI want you, sweetheart. Right here. Right now.â And then he was holding your face in his hands as well, bringing you closer. âAlways.â
Just before his lips found yours, you whispered in response, in agreement, âAlways.â
He was kissing you again, smothering you with love. You had never thought suffocation could feel so heavenly. Over and over, his lips captured yours, each movement deepening the kiss, making it grow in power until you were both gasping for air each time you had a brief respite.
You had only realised you were rolling your hips again when both you and Finnick were moaning into each otherâs mouths and your clit started to grow sensitive from the friction of his bulged pants. It really didnât take long at all for your stomach to begin tightening with pleasure.
You held onto his shoulders, using them to grind yourself faster on his lap as your need for release grew wilder by the second. But no matter how hard or fast you moved, it still wasnât enough.
âI canât wait anymore,â you murmured against his lips.
Your hands dropped down to the lower half of his body, pulling up the bottom of his jacket to reveal his belt. You fumbled with the clasp, hastily trying to unbuckle it. Finnick noticed your struggle and lifted his hips into your pelvisâdear fucking godâmaking it easier for you to tug the belt from the loops of his pants.
âEager, huh?â he said with a smirk.
âYou say thatââ The belt hit the ground with a clink, and you winced ââas if you arenât as well.â
âBut Iâm not the one with my hand down your pants, am I?â
You wanted to respond with some witty remark about not even wearing any pants, but you had already unzipped his flier and had your fingers curled around his cock. He cursed under his breath.
A winning smile stretched across your lips. âYou were saying?â
You watched as his cock sprung past his flier, the length riddled with veins coming from the base and lining up to his warm pink tip which was already coated in a light shine. You wouldâve made some teasing comment but given the soaked patch you had left over his groin, you decided otherwise.
As you stroked him up and down, Finnick wiped his hand over his mouth, muffling a groan into his palm. God, he was even worse than you. You loved it.
There was something so alluring about him being covered head-to-toe in black while having the most intimate part of himself exposed. Even more so when you were nearly naked in comparison. The scarce uncovered parts of his body had you feeling compelled to reach out and touch him. Your hand twisted around his cock with each pump and as it did, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to the hot skin of his neck.
âFuck,â he breathed out.
You sucked, he sighed and tilted his head to the side, and then you sucked again. The knowledge that the next day what you two had done would be obvious from the colours of red and purple hadnât occurred to you yet. You just wanted to taste him. Taste the salt and sweetness of his skin, the unique flavour that made Finnick Finnick. And you wanted to feel him. Badly.
Leaning back, you found that his eyes were already on yours. It was clear at that moment you shared the same thoughtsâand they were both dark and lustful. The emotional atmosphere from before had long since disappeared.
âI need you, Finnick,â you said.
He said nothing. He did nothing, all except for wearing the faintest expression of amusement as he stared at you. Why must he always make things so difficult for you? And why did he always look so good doing it? You increased your grip around him, giving his length another pump in the hopes he would react. All he did was swallow some noise of gratification.
Your stomach was pulsing with a burning desire, leading all the way down to your cunt which contracted around nothing.
âPlease,â you begged, your other hand gripping onto his jacket. âIt hurts.â
His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he slowly scanned your body. If he continued looking at you that way, you thought you might actually ruin his pants with how wet you were. You were worried if he did nothing, if he simply stared at you like he was, you would come just from the heat of his gaze. And you didnât want that. You wanted to come with him inside you.
He inhaled deeply and looked away as if your plea was something he genuinely had to ponder. The nerve he had. Then he looked back at you with the sexiestâor so you deemed at the momentâsmile you had ever witnessed.
âWellâŠâ he began, âyou know how much I hate seeing you in pain.â Relief flooded through your entire body. He nodded his head as a gesture for you to sit up. âCome on, sweetheart.â
Without a second thought, you rose to your knees with the help of Finnickâs hands which were beneath your thighs. You were desperately fiddling with your underwear, unsure of how to go about taking it off. You tried to push it to the side, but the material wouldnât stay; getting off of Finnickâs lap to take them off seemed unthinkable now, so having felt hopeless, you whimpered.
âHere,â Finnick said, and then he effortlessly ripped the fabric apart and pulled it from your body, exposing your heat to the tepid night air.
Shock came and left within milliseconds, your mind being too preoccupied with other matters to contemplate his sudden actions. Besides, going commando for the next few days didnât seem too bad a price to pay for what was about to happen.
You guided his cock to your entrance, feeling the tip just barely push through your slick folds. The both of you watched as you sunk down on him, engulfing his entire length inside you and just as such, you both let your heads fall back and let out a quiet synchronised moan in response.
âEvery time,â Finnick whispered ambiguously.
Though he didnât need to elaborate for you to understand what he meant. Every time somehow managed to feel even better than the last. Every time you would forget how much you actually needed each other. Every time he was inside you, it felt like you were home.
âI know,â you breathed in response.
His hands were on your hips, acting as a guide as you rose, feeling his cock glide through your tight walls before you swallowed him whole once again. Your arms were wrapped loosely around his neck, chest brushing over his with each movement you made. It then came to your attention that the only piece of clothing you had left on was your bra.
The small amount of fabric hardly served you any purpose any more, considering the rest of your body was already on show for the whole world to see. Finnick seemed to have the same idea; he reached one hand up your back and used it to skilfully unhook your bra and slide it off your shoulders. Was it already mentioned that he did all of this one-handed?
Reality quickly set in when your bra fell to the groundâyou were riding Finnick, completely naked, in the middle of a rebellion, while at heavy risk of being caught. Anyone else might have thought those string of words to be shameful, disturbing even, but for some odd reason, you no longer seemed to care. About any of it. All that mattered was that Finnick was inside you and he loved you as much as you loved him. Nothing else bore any significance.
You leaned back, so overwhelmed with pleasure that you had to close your eyes, hands still digging into his shoulders as your hips rolled and rose and sank, over and over. Finnick took this as an opportunity to bury his face between your breasts, leaving harsh kisses and moans that vibrated into your skin and hardened the peaks of your nipples.
Your fingers had tangled within the waves of his hair, unconsciously pushing him further into you because the things he could do with his mouth, things as simple as kissing, felt breathtaking. Literally. At this point, you were practically gulping air into your lungs because it felt like he was stealing your breath with each touch his lips made to your chest.
âOh, god,â you whined, looking up to the sky above as if the heavens could somehow replenish you. Although, you werenât sure they would be holding you in the highest regard in a moment like this.
Finnick was buried deep inside you as you stayed seated on his cock, unable to find the strength to push yourself upwards anymore. Now you were just rocking yourself indulgently back and forth on his lap, feeling his tip curve repeatedly into your walls and his pants rub harshly against your ass. The muscles in your stomach began tensing and you knew what was soon coming.
Your moans had started out breathless and soft, but as your movements continued, they began rising in pitch, in interval, and in volume. Finnick had no choice but toâheartbreakinglyâleave your breasts and return to your mouth to stop the sounds from slipping out, however much they made his aching cock throb.
When it seemed like you had gotten yourself under control, he broke away from your lips to say, âGotta stay quiet, baby, or else weâllââ And then he quickly kissed you again to dampen another moan that he noticed was about to escape ââget caught.â
You gave him a sheepish look, biting your bottom lip to keep quiet. âI know, Iâm sorry,â you rushed out in a single breath. âI canât help it. Yâjust so deep inside me. Feels soââ
He jerked his hips up, cock thrusting harshly and purposely up into you. Of course, you gasped loudly. That son of a bitch.
âYeah?â he said, tilting his head to the side.
You sighed, shaking your head at him. âAsshole.â
He laughed and you could feel it rumbling in your own chest. His eyes were both sea-green and pitch black with darkness as he stared at you through the messy strands of hair strewn across his forehead. Believing he had no idea what he was doing to you all day was idiotic. Of course, he had known. Everything he ever did was in an attempt to rile you up and it always worked.
He knew he was attractive. He knew you found him painfully attractive. Fuck, why was he just so goddamn attractive?
âHang on,â he said, tearing you from your thoughts.
âWhat?â
Your stomach lurched and suddenly your body was in the air. Technically, Finnick was still holding you in his arms, but still, you were in the air. Both his hands were curled beneath your thighs as he had stood up from the leather seat, hoisting you over six feet off the ground.
âFinnick!â you exclaimed with a half-whisper.
You were clinging onto his neck in fear of plummeting to the concrete ground. But, come on, this was Finnick. In what universe would he ever cause you any harm?
âWell, Iâm not going to let you do all the work,â he said before kissing you sweetly, causing both your grasp on him to loosen and your body to practically melt into his. He pulled away once more, grinning like the devil he was. âIf thatâs alright with you?â
Your body bounced in his arms as he secured his hold on you and you couldnât help but giggle.
âMore than alright,â you said.
He pressed a light kiss to your nose and whispered, âGood,â and suddenly your back was up against something hard and cold and the brief light-hearted atmosphere had vanished.
Finnickâs body was pressed against yours, trapping you between himself and the concrete pillar which was behind you. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hardplace. His much wider and taller frame made you feel incredibly small in comparison, almost vulnerable in his strong arms, and you loved it. He had you completely concealed from anyoneâs view, should they have regrettably walked by, which meant you would at least have a momentâs notice before your virtue was shredded to bits.
Now, back to being stuck between hard places. You hadnât even noticed he had slipped out of you until he was holding himself in his hand, keeping you propped up against the wall with nothing but his other arm and his body strength, and was thrusting back inside you.
Blood was nearly being drawn from how hard you were biting your bottom lip because Finnick didnât give you a chance to prepare yourself. His hands were digging into your ass and he was suddenly fucking you so hard, you were worried the concrete behind you would crumble under pressure. You were worried your willpower wasnât strong enough to hold back the filthy moans threatening to tumble out.
How could you be quiet when all you wanted to do was show him how euphoric he was making you feel?
âHowâs that, huh?â he asked roughly. âYou like that, sweetheart?â
He was hitting just the right spot inside of you, angled perfectly and thrusting deeply. The skin of your back was scratching against the rough concrete surface with each of his thrusts and maybe it made you a little fucked up to admit it, but the pain of your skin being rubbed red raw while being fucked senseless was exhilarating.
Your head fell back against the wall, so hard the world was suddenly spinning on an axis. It was perfect. Finnick was perfect. Everything was perfect. Your eyes fluttered shut and everything of any other significance disappeared.
That is the only reason you allowed yourself to moan as loud as you did.
âFuck!â
A large hand had been slapped over the entire lower half of your face and your own also jerked up to cover it in instant regret. Your eyes snapped wide open to see Finnick staring at you with the same visible alarm. You looked over his shoulder to scan for any sign of disturbance but after a few seconds, it became clear no one had heard you.
You looked back to Finnick, who, mind you, was still thrusting in and out of you though with a little less vigour. He was very clearly trying not to laugh. âI guess Iâll take that as a yes.â
You smiled against his hand which he took as a sign to lower it back to beneath your ass. First, you were grinning, then you were trying not to laugh and obviously failed, and then you were both trying to stifle your laughs together as if he wasnât quite literally fucking you against a wall. The only thing that could break your spell of laughter was the need to bite down on your bottom lip to suppress another unwarranted moan.
Finnick pressed his body further against you, smiling wickedly as his cock pushed deeper inside you. You whimpered, fingernails creating red crescent moons on the back of his neck. He didnât mind.
âGod, youâre gorgeous,â he murmured.
You leaned forward to press a trembling kiss to his lips. âLove you too, Finn.â
âMm,â he hummed, gratified.
Your legs, which were curled around his hips, tightened around him. If there was any way to bring him closer, you would have done it. If there was any way a person could crawl under someone elseâs skin and live in their body, you would have been the first to do it. You would have been one with Finnick, wholly and devotedly. That was how much you needed him, how much you cherished him.
Whenever he was inside you, you truly were home.
You were clinging onto him in every way possible. His soft lips were back on yours, gluttonous with love and ardent lust. Your frantic hands were sliding over every part of his body they could reach. Your walls were contracting around his cock; even then, you were pulling him in further. It was all very messy, but it all felt very right.
The protective armour over his chest was rubbing against your bare breasts as your body bounced in his arms. The added stimulation was rendering you restless. That tight, blissful burn was starting to work its way up from your cunt and into your lower stomach, and you couldnât stop moving. Your legs tightened and loosened around Finnickâs hips. Your chest expanded and inflated shallowly. Your fingers were practically clawing at Finnickâs clothes.
âItâs okay, sweetheart,â he said breathlessly, and then your eyes were staring into his. A strand of hair fell across your face and he brought up a hand to tuck it back behind your ear. âItâs okay,â he repeated. âYou can let go.â
Your knuckles were turning white from how hard they were grasping onto his clothed biceps. Like a beating heart, your lower body started pulsatingâyour stomach, between your legs, your thighs, all the way down to your toes. You were so close to spilling over the edge that everything suddenly became too overwhelming.
Tears sprung into your eyes, both of pleasure and sadness. Pleasure for the way he was making you feel as he thrust into you. Pleasure for the certainty that he loved you as you did him. But sadness for the uncertainty that this could be the last time you expressed your love for each other so intensely. Only the uncertainty wasnât actually uncertainty.
Somewhere deep, deep inside you, there was a nagging feeling that this really was your last night together. Of course, you couldnât rely on a nagging feeling as a tell for the future, but it was so strong. It felt so real.
You pulled him forward and crushed your lips to his, immediately falling into a smooth syrup-like rhythm with one another. It tasted sweet for a moment, a dessert consisting of whines from you and restrained groans from Finnick. But then a tear slipped from your eye and the sweetness turned salty.
Finnick pulled back to see the light shine coating your cheek.
He understood. He felt the same way.
âI love you so much,â he said, tenderly wiping away the tears on your skin.
Then he was kissing your shoulder, kissing across your collarbone, kissing up the fragile skin of your neck, the bone of your jaw, and finally back to your lips. Every kiss ravaged your entire being. His cock was curving right up into that sensitive cushiony spot inside you, sliding in and out of you and bringing a heightened sense of bliss each time. You could barely breathe.
It was too much. He was close too, you knew it. Beads of sweat were starting to collect in the strands of hair that had fallen across his forehead; his body leaned further into you, gradually losing strength as his own pleasure grew. He was staring at you the way he always did when he was inside you. Sinfully. Lovingly. And, God, he was breathing so heavily, his grunts and suppressed moans kept slipping through. It was heaven.
Another tear slipped from your eye; from which emotion, you werenât sure. It didnât matter because you felt incredible. Your whole body was buzzing, the tears kept slipping out, and your reddened parted lips kept letting shallow breaths and choked gasps escape.
âFuck, I love you,â Finnick said again in a raw, shaky voice, and you wished you couldâve responded but he had already pressed his lips to your forehead and suddenly you were coming.
Your eyes were screwed shut, mouth agape though releasing no noise. You could feel your walls squeeze around his length, covering his cock entirely in sweet white fluid as he hastily continued slamming up into you. His head had fallen to your shoulder, mouth connected with your neck to muffle the guttural sounds he made into your skin as he too filled you up with his own warmth.
You had gone limp in his arms and somehow, he still managed to keep you upright. Existence sort of vanished for a moment or two. Everything and everyone were gone except for you and Finnick. You were pressed so hard up against one another that you were sure any second you would melt into one being.
Eventually, you started to come back down, and your mind started to fill with thoughts once more. Finnick had stilled inside you, catching his breath as he rested against your shoulder. He was trembling, skin warm and damp with sweat against yours. You put your hands on his shoulders, signalling for him to put you down so he could at least regain some amount of strength.
But you hadnât realised your own problem. As soon as he helped you slip down onto your feet, your weakened legs buckled and gave out beneath you. Before the hard concrete ground could welcome you into its unforgiving arms, Finnick dropped swiftly and caught you in his first. He fell to his knees, cradling your naked form over his lap, arms shaking ever-so-slightly.
A horrible blush overcame you. Your hair was a mess, your face was coated in a light sheen, and you were still naked.
âSorry,â you whispered, sheepishly.
He shook his head, smiling down at you as though you had nothing to apologise for. His brows did that little scrunch you found so adorable. âYou okay?â
You nodded. Had anyone been able to witness the way Finnick Odair looked when he was gazing down at the person he loved, you were certain they would also agree that they were more than just okay. He looked like an angel. It wouldnât be surprising if a pair of wings suddenly sprung out from his back.
Overcome with love, you reached up to his face, fingers gliding across his jaw. His dimples somehow deepened even more than they already were. You had never seen someone so happy in your life, especially within the confines of a war.
âI wish I could find a more profound way to show my love for you,â you whispered.
His lips twitched and it was as though you could feel his own heart leaping with affection in his chest. His eyes flickered between your own and you knew he was going to say something either witty or something that would have made your knees buckle had they not already done so.
âYou donât need to,â he said. âYour existence is profound enough.â
A few seconds went by before you understood his wordsâhe could feel the immense love you had for him just from your mere existence. You didnât need to do anything for him to see it, to feel it, or hear it. All you had to do was be by his side, to share the air he breathed. All you had to do was look at him and he could feel the power of it.
You rose into a sitting position, feeling Finnickâs arms curl protectively around your torso. Tears threatened to fill your eyes, but you willed them away. Instead, you planted a gentle kiss on his lips. When you pulled away, a light breeze blew against you, blowing your hair over your shoulders and forcing you to lean further into Finnickâs warm embrace.
âHow about we get your clothes back on, hm?â he spoke softly.
You smiled cheekily in response. âI donât think youâve ever asked me to put my clothes on before.â
His lips stretched into a lopsided grin, eyes looking down at you with a playful glint as he recalled the very similar conversation you had earlier.
âWell, thereâs always a first time for everything, isnât there?â he teased, fingers lightly tracing the skin of your waist.
Finnick had assisted you with gathering your scattered clothes, even helping you with putting them back on despite your insistence that you were quite capable of doing it yourself. Secretly, you enjoyed itâthe silent affection, the lingering touches as he pulled each piece of clothing over your skin. Even doing the simplest things together felt incredibly intimate.
As your arms slipped through your jacket sleeves, Finnick moved in front of you, zipping it up the front and moving on to clipping the overlay buttons. He had this look of pure concentration; anyone would think he was solving the world's hardest puzzle, not buttoning up a jacket. It was adorable.
âFinnick?â
His concentration didnât waver. âMm?â
There was a knot growing in your stomach, and it wasnât the pleasant kind. You had felt it moments before when you were still up against the pillar, and as time ticked away and a new day was closely approaching, it only grew more potent. Every time you looked into Finnickâs eyes, it felt more imminent. Like an impending doom.
The only plausible explanation behind the feeling was one you couldnât speak aloud. You couldnât even ponder it for a second, fearing the weight of it would crush the fragile makings of your heart and soul.
You scanned his face, taking in every single feature you had grown to worship. âIf I go back home at dawnââ Now his attention had flickered to you ââwill you come with me?â
His hands stilled, momentarily confused by your words. This mission was his chance to finally gain back some sense of power that had been taken from him by Snow. Within the next few days, he would be watching Katniss shoot an arrow through the presidentâs heart and see the life leave his eyes. A few days prior, that would have been more important than anything.
But as he looked into your eyes and saw the life twinkle in the gloss of your irises, the love they held, the future they revealedâa future with you and him togetherâhe quickly realised nothing was more important. And the intense pleading your gaze revealed absolutely shattered him. Nothing could ever be more important than you.
Finnick tenderly cupped your face in his hands. âIâll follow you anywhere, sweetheart. You know that.â
And it was like a massive weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Like a dark ominous cloud looming overhead had finally dissipated and left you with an immeasurable amount of relief. You didnât know what had caused the feeling or why it had been strong in Finnickâs presence, only that it felt right to be going home and have him come with you.
He leaned forward and kissed you gently, adoringly, and it took everything in you not to melt into his embrace. Your hands held onto his wrists, feeling his pulse thump with life beneath your fingertips. You loved him. You loved him so much that âloveâ wasnât even the right word for it anymore.
What he had said earlier came to mindÂâhow your existence was enough proof of your love for him. That seemed right.
âI exist for you, Finn,â you whispered.
The stars above were twinkling in his sea-green eyes, almost like little specs of bioluminescent plankton. You would happily drown in them if it were possible.
Finnick pressed his forehead against yours, arms snaking around your torso to hold you tightly against him. âI exist for you, too.â
The two of you returned home the next morning. And as the years went by, you continued to exist for one another back in District Four, free from judgement, from tyranny, from the Games.
ive been reading the most beautiful stsg fic called
"Over the Threshold"
by fushiglow and when i tell you this is me while reading it. i meant it, i swear. this is literally me. PLS go read it, its like SO good, i cant.
(these text fragments are just different pieces from the chapters, its not a cohesive text.)
GO READ IT.
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected sex, Satoruâs blindfold gets used, overstimulation (male + female), lots of cum, aphrodisiac sex, multiple rounds, making Gojo Satoru cum in his pants, breaking the bed, mating press, pet names (my girl), swearing.
Word count. 3.0k
A/N. Can you tell itâs ovulation week. Art by @_3em on X.
Ah~ Itâs the 21st century, they should really make these curses self-exorcizing.Â
Itâs been a long day of dealing with countless curses and five droning clan meetings (all of which he missed, oops). Now, Satoru loiters around your shared penthouse apartment - waiting for you to come back home from work.
Hmm, maybe heâll quickly drop by and see what the first years are up to? He probably didnât have a class right now.Â
But first, Satoru grins, opening the refrigerator to grab at the secret stash of sweets all the way in the back - something sweet.
---
It was odd to step into a tense silence suffocating your home - usually used to being met with whines of âhow dare you take so long!â and âyou wonât believe what that emo kid did today.â as soon as you walked in through the door.
Was Satoru running late on a mission today? Â
It wasnât surprising, the man had to be everywhere - itâs not like he always has the time to teleport and welcome you home. Yet, you still couldnât shake off the feeling that something was off as you made your way into the kitchen.
Tired brain distinctly noting the lack of that familiar flash of hot pink, you double-take as you glare at the back of the refrigerator - as if willing it to materialize in front of you. Where was that?
âThatâ being the gag gift your friends had given you last Christmas to playful wolf whistles. Some large slab of âaphrodisiac chocolateâ - probably normal chocolate - that youâd skeptically thrown in with your secret candy stash for a rainy day.Â
Satoru had ransacked your goods again, you sigh. But if he was homeâŠthen where was he?
âToru? Are you home?â you call out in confusion, only to be met with a deafening silence.Â
Concern etched on your face, you set the drink down to look for Satoru, footsteps thumping against the hardwood floors at each tense step.Â
Approaching the bedroom, a low, unmistakable moan filters through the heavy door. Satoru.
Heartbeat racing and worry coursing through you, you cautiously push the door open - only to be met with a sight that makes your heart stop.
There, sprawled across your bed in just his boxers, a delicate flush spread enticingly along his sculpted body, was your Satoru.Â
Something about this scene felt more than a simple evening nap. The air was heady and thick with something. Maybe it was that familiar hot pink wrapper lying empty at the foot of the bed. Maybe it was the way Satoruâs usually vibrant eyes were half-lidded, curtained by his tousled hair.Â
Or maybe it was his hand squeezing the large outline of his achingly hard cock through his boxers. Circling the dark spot around his leaking tip. Massaging his heavy balls. Teasing.Â
âYouâre homeâ he rasps out, voice strangled and snapping you out of your trance.Â
âWha- yes. Toru, what happened?â you sputter out, eyes locked on the way his cock twitched animalistically at the sound of your voice.
In the blink of an eye, Satoruâs gotten up from the bed, muscled arms caging you against the wall. His rock-hard erection presses into your front, precum smearing through his boxers against your work clothes.
âYouâre home.â he repeats, sounding as strained as if he were about to snap any second. Losing his sanity with each breath that fans your hair.
You could feel the pulsing of your cunt as your eyes flit from the sheen of sweat decorating his body to the blindfold haphazardly hanging off his neck. Satoru finally raises his eyes to look at you.
Oh, heâs already lost his sanity.
Pupils blown, those blue eyes you love now a lustful black - a predatory glint in them that made a carnal part of your cunt twitch. His mouth spreads into a wolfish grin, teeth bared as if ready to eat you up.Â
A shiver runs down your spine.
âToruâŠyou okay?â
âYouâre home.â he breathes out, as if a prayer.Â
âSatoru.â
The simple call of his name sealed your fate.
The buttons hit the ground before you realize what heâs doing. Ripping your shirt off, pulling off your bra, fisting your clothes in his hands as if it killed him to see you clothed.Â
Too impatient - too starved - to remove your skirt, he pulls it to shreds off your hips.
âWoah- slow down there.â you squeal as he drops to Satoru knees, biting down on the thin fabric of your soaked panties, tugging with his teeth. You know heâll buy you ten more to replace what heâs torn, but jeez where was the decorum?
âCanâtâ he slurs, peeking up at you with dazed eyes. Was your Satoru even here with you?
âWhat?âÂ
âCanât stop.â he murmurs lowly, voice sending vibrations to your twitching cunt.Â
And before you know it, sharp teeth bite around your panties, ripping them to shreds. Looking up at you with hooded eyes, miles away, grinning devilishly around the soaked fabric in his mouth.Â
Shit, what have you gotten yourself into.
Despite your thobbing pussy, you soothe âNow, Toru. Why donât we just-â
âShut up.â he mutters. And he does - words catching in your throat as Satoru dives nose-deep into your dripping cunt. Hot tongue urgently lapping at your juices, as if a man dying of thirst..
Nose rubbing your pulsing clit in rough circles, he breathes you in so sinfully, letting out a throaty groan as he does. He bullies his tongue past your dripping folds, stretching you, dipping in and out of your quivering entrance. Over and over. In and out.
You were losing your mind with each rough push of Satoruâs warm tongue. Dizzying pace forcing lewd whimpers out of your mouth that mix with the squelches of his mouth on your pussy.Â
You buck your hips desperately into his face, and amidst his merciless abuse on your cunt, you barely notice the way he presses his body against yours.Â
Shit, so this is why heâs so fucking feral - Satoruâs cock was painfully hard, swollen and throbbing against your leg. Fuck- you werenât gonna be able to walk for a while.
He grind his hips into you, precum soaking your bare legs. With a low whimper at the back of his throat, Satoruâs tongue fucks you in a way you knew he wanted to with his cock right now. Rough and unrelenting.
Maybe itâs the harsh abuse of his mouth on your swollen lips, nose catching on your clit just right. Or maybe itâs the feeling of your slick dripping down the corners of his mouth, onto your thighs and mixing with the precum of his aching erection.Â
Before you can even register it, youâre cumming all over Satoruâs mouth, grip tight on his white locks and hips riding his pretty face.
Greedily lapping at your quivering cunt, he moans as his eyes roll to the back of his head at the sweet juices pooling around his tongue.Â
In the back of your mind, you recognize the feeling of Satoruâs warm cum smearing against your leg. Did- Did Gojo Satoru just come in his underwear while eating you out?
Sinfully, he licks at the mixture of your juices dripping down your legs, eyes closed as if tasting a delicacy. He was going to be the death of you.
As soon as your high bates, Satoru stands to his full height. Towering above you with eyes that looked like he wanted to positively eat you alive.
A large hand smacks the wall beside your head, plaster crumbling under his strength. Shit, if he keeps going at this pace then nothing in the house will survive Satoru - including you.Â
You feel the cum-soaked fabric of his boxers grinding against your ass, his hands pulling and groping every bit of skin he can reach.
âToru, take it off.â you whine out, words dripping in lust.
You donât need to tell Satoru twice. With grace that he wouldnât give your clothes, his boxers are on the ground, painfully hard cock hitting his abs.Â
You can feel the slick dripping down your legs as you look behind your shoulder to see one hand wrapped tightly around his large cock. Pulling in slow, languid motions up to the furiously flushed tip. His heavy balls twitch as he thumbs the prominent vein along the side.
âI want-â
You canât even finish your sentence before Satoruâs bullying his massive cock into your snug cunt. Plush walls desperately trying to adjust to his size as he sheaths himself in your hot core.Â
You moan at the delicious stretch of your pussy. Itâs not like you havenât done this before - yet, where Satoru was usually suave in sex, right now it was replaced by pure, feral need. With his tip kissing your cervix as he pushed animalistically into your cunt - you didnât know if youâd make it out alive.Â
âHah- Toru itâs too big. Ah! I canât-.â
âYou will.â he grits out, teeth clenched and brows furrowed.Â
Satoru presses into you inch by fucking inch, groaning at the tight ring of muscles trying to both push him out and suck him in desperately. It was so animalistic.
It seems Satoruâs body moves before his mind, hips fucking into your dripping pussy recklessly. Harsh thrusts, not even pulling all the way out to ram into you as he usually does - as if he canât bear to part with your wet core. His balls sting your cunt as they smack against you at his unforgiving pace, strings of slick and cum connecting him to you.
âAh- So good fâme, my girl. Always- so good.â he gasps out at the heavenly feeling of your dripping cunt sucking him back in at each thrust. âHngh! Mmm more. I need more. Need it so bad.â
Hands arching your back into him now grope the expanse of your skin, before wrapping around your body to lift you off the floor.Â
âAh! Toru, what- hngh-â you choke on your words at the new angle.Â
Satoruâs body bows into you, cock still slamming inside you at a feral pace midair. Not even a hairâs breadth between your bodies.Â
With one hand he forces you to look up at him, capturing your lips with his in a searing kiss. Pretty mouth sucking your tongue as he did with your cunt.
If you were in a better state of mind, youâd notice the slight glow tinging his lustful eyes. The electricity thrumming through his fingers. Yet you already knew - Satoru was absolutely losing it.
Your feet dangle off the ground as he holds you securely, length reaching impossibly deeper inside you. Prominent vein grazing that one spot over and over.
âHngh- Oh my god, Toru. Sâtoo much!â you pull away to whine.Â
âOpen your mouth.â he murmurs raspily. As if body on auto-pilot, your mouth opens, tongue lolling out for what he was about to give.
Satoruâs stream of spit is warm on your tongue, making you clench around his merciless cock. He lets out a drawn-out groan, eyes boring down at you, holding a glint of the same insanity he has when he exorcizes curses, âMy nasty girl. Canât get enough of you.â
You moan at his words, hands reaching behind you to grab on the blindfold dangling on his neck. âToru more-â you gasp out, your tight grip causing him to bow his head with a groan, cock twitching ferally.Â
âFuck! More? You fucking want more?â he groans out, voice wrecked with pleasure.Â
You let out a yelp as his teeth dig into your neck - hard enough that you were sure youâd have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow. Like a lamb to slaughter, he was going to eat you up. Yet, your grip on his blindfold never waves, pulling him closer as he fucks roughly into your snug cunt.Â
Ass burning at the friction of his pelvis. Pussy dripping onto your bedroom floor. Unforgiving. Gojo Satoru was unforgiving. âAh! Toru sâgood.âÂ
You both cum with strangled gasps. A low keen at the back of Satoruâs throat, and heâs pumping hot ropes of cum into your awaiting pussy. Tears stinging your eyes at your sensitivity, all you know is a wave of pleasure as you ride out your climax on the ramming of his hips and the how full you are of his seed.
His hand still draws hurried, desperate circles on your clit. You squeal at the overstimulation, tears clinging to yours lashes. âToru- hngh!â you can barely get out the words, his hips slamming into yours mercilessly as Satoru milks his cock desperately on your quivering pussy.Â
âShut up. You said you wanted more. Youâre gonna get more, my little slut.â he mutters carnally.
Ah, you canât do this. You were going to fucking pass out.
âOne- more.â he moans.
Your thighs clench around him, pushing your plush walls deeper as he lets out raspy whimpers with each thrust. âHah- hngh.âÂ
âShit- Toru Iâm-â Your climax hits you with a jolt, body twitching in pain and pleasure from the oversensitivity as your cunt flutters around his cock - not even being able to tell when Satoruâs orgasm ends and when yours starts.Â
You feel a tear hit your shoulder, overstimulation too much for his poor cock as his seed coats your walls once more. It drips out of you, forming a pool on the floor as he pulls out - for only a second before youâre thrown on the bed.Â
Orgasm-hazed brain barely having time to register what is happening before Satoru stalks towards you from the foot of the bed. Unhurriedly approaching you as you scoot towards the headboard.
Your pussy jumps exhaustedly at the sight of him - eyes darkened and narrowed at you like a predator that has spotted his prey. A devilish smirk stretches across his swollen lips, glossed prettily with spit and slick.Â
Toru, I-I donâ-â you words slur out.Â
âOne- one more, my girl. Please.â Satoru whimpers, throat shot from what transpired just before. His cock twitches, glistening with cum and slick, dripping onto the fresh bedsheets.Â
As he looms closer, you wonder how the fuck Satoru was still holding up - was this all because of the chocolate? You have half the mind to wonder whether he was using reversed cursed technique to keep you both alive.
You mewl deliriously at the feeling of your legs being thrown on his shoulders. Eyes blown and face flushed your favorite shade of pink, he licks a long stripe up your ankles, voice cracking as he moans sinfully.Â
Satoruâs flushed tip teases your entrance, dragging along your swollen folds. Fuck. Shit. Maybe you wouldnât even mind dying if it was with his cock rammed in your snug cunt.
Barely even lucid, he thrusts harshly into you - your tight entrance readily sucking up his flushed tip. You both hiss at the sensitivity. Surely, one of you was going to pass out.Â
Hand moving to grasp the blindfold around his neck, you pull him to you. Your hamstrings burn in protest as Satoru bends down to attach his lips with yours, moving down until you were folded in half.Â
Tongue tangling with yours, half-lidded eyes bore into yours, fiery with an intensity that made you unsure if either of you would make it out of this alive.Â
Heartbeat roaring in your ears, you donât notice the crack! of the bed and neither does Satoru. Too caught up in desperately reaching whatever number orgasm it was this night.Â
Moans incoherent, your body convulses, nails dragging down the expanse of his sculpted back as the bed creaks in protest. A strangled groan leaves his mouth, cock throbbing inside you - or maybe that was your quivering cunt. At this point you really didnât know anymore.Â
âShit- ah! Fuck. Iâm- Mâcumming. Mâcumming. Hngh- cumming!â he whines out, voice ragged and breathing unstable. Delicate tears streak down his face, dripping onto your quivering body below him. Salty.
You can only let out exhausted whines, too fucked out to form any proper sentences.
Hot seed gushing inside you again, it overflows out of you, cunt dripping and too full to take anymore. Yet, Satoru still fucks into you until he sees stars and his poor cock is cumming dry. You can barely even feel your climax, distant tingles and the only thing on your mind being Satoru Satoru Satoru.Â
The air leaves your lungs as he collapses on top of you. Skin flushed and sticking to yours. Body twitching as his poor cock neverendingly shoots blanks inside of you. Which number was this even?
Thatâs when you black out.
Floating in and out of dreams of blue, blue skies and mini Satorus running around, you wake up with a start. Well, as much of a start as you could with your entire body aching as if you got run over by a truck - and then an entire zoo after.
Bleary eyes taking in your surroundings, you distinctly realize that youâre spread out on the living room couch.Â
âYouâŠare you okay?â you rasp out, raising a brow exhaustedly. Satoru chuckles sheepishly, tenderly smoothing over the blanket placed on top of you. What a change from before - are you sure this is the same guy?
âWellâŠthe wall is crumbling, we broke the bed, and Iâm pretty sure my dick wonât work again for the next couple years.â he gets out in one breath. At your silence, he continues âAnd I think my favorite blindfold is out of commission.â
â...wow.â
âWow.âÂ
âYou lecher, you ate from my secret stash, didnât you?â
â...â
A few days later, opening the refrigerator, youâre met with a wall of hot pink. A sticky note on top reading in Satoruâs hasty scrawl, âThis time you take one too :Dâ
â MDNI !!!!! (or do.. idc) !!!!! â° TW: p n v, oral ( y/n receiving ), blowjob, creampie, rough sex, hair pulling, teasing, mutual masturbation, fingering, thigh job, a bit of somnophilia if you squint uhhh thatâs it
make sure to log into twitter to see (white mode recommended)
pairing: vampire!gojo x fem!human!reader
summary: when you receive an offer of marriage from a mysterious wealthy lord, itâs too good a deal for your family to turn down. but nothing could be so perfect... right?
content: MDNI (18+Â ONLY), dark content, nsfw, gets dubcon/noncon in some spots, yandere behavior from gojo, implied death/k*lling of a character (not reader or gojo), arranged marriage, victorian au, plot that ends with porn lmao, spooky dooky vibes, blood, blood sucking/eating, praise, biting, unprotected sex, creampie, virgin!reader, discussion of virginity, cherry popping, pain, pet names (princess/love), reader is highkey clueless about sex, discussion of masturbation, ideas of masturbation as âsinfulâ, very minor religious themes, fated âmatesâ, gojo is highkey insane, coercion and manipulation, like SO much neck kissing, ooc gojo??? (had to alter his character to match a victorian vampire lord LMAO).
a/n: PLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS. THERE IS DARK CONTENT AHEAD. is this a gojo fic or a twilight fic?? Going back to my roots fr fr. straight down to the âSAY IT, SAY ITâ. this fic is also way too long my apologies bbs. i hope you like a hefty side of plot with your porn. parts of this fic feel way too cheesy to me but sometimes i eat that up, yk?? this fic was inspired by this amazing work by @rice5x ! and, finally, thank you all for the support on my most recent fics. i'm just getting back into being active on this blog and it's been amazing reading each and every comment/reblog/ask. they genuinely fill me with so much joy. keep them coming hehe. anyway, i hope you enjoy and remember, ALL AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.
credits: dividers by @cafekitsune. banner art by @ndsoda on twitter.
wc: 11.6k (sowwy)
You remember perfectly the way your motherâs jaw dropped when Satoru Gojo proposed to you. Youâd never seen the man, and you still hadnât. Heâd asked to marry you via messenger, a simple letter delivered by hand with a list of all the things heâd be willing to pay for your hand. Offers of money, land, protection, connection- anything so long as he got you. Youâd thought it was a joke. Your father nearly took a shovel to the head of the poor messenger, thinking the letter was some kind of cruel prank, some sort of targeted disrespect. Youâd only started to believe when you really looked- saw the Gojo crest embroidered on the manâs suit, the fine leather of his boots. If it was a prank, somebody had spent a great deal of money and effort to pull it off.Â
Youâd asked for proof nonetheless, and youâd gotten it. Documents signed and sealed with a well-known waxen crest, gifts that could only have been purchased by a wealthy lord. The one thing you never got was the lord himself. He refused to see you, to come down from his mysterious castle on the hill. It didnât surprise you. He rarely deemed town worthy of his presence. He had a reputation as a recluse, as a man who only ever liked to see and never be seen. What little glimpses people got of him were usually through the dark window of his carriage. Still, his appearance preceded him. White hair, light eyes⊠âhauntingâ said those who had the luck to see him. Those who went to work for the lord tended to return⊠changedâ if they returned at all.Â
You accepted, of course. How could you not? You were a peasant family with no status or wealth to your name. The promises Lord Gojo had made would make your parents into aristocrats all on their own. But that left you wondering⊠why did he want you? You offered him no benefit. If anything, you sullied his bloodline. The question scratched at the back of your mind. It came to you while you ate breakfast, while you washed your clothes, while you weeded in the garden. Some part of you told you that you needed the answer before you ever stepped foot in that castle. You needed that answer, but youâd never get it.Â
Your wedding wasnât even a wedding- just a piece of paper that had already been signed and witnessed, once again delivered by a familiar messenger. You signed at your dining room table and⊠that was that. You were married.Â
Later that night the carriages arrive. Men flood your home, all dressed in blue velvet, the Gojo crest embroidered on their chests. They seem puzzled when you tell them youâve packed all your belongings into a measly three bags.Â
You say a quick goodbye to your parents, drawing them into stiff embraces. You love them, and they love you, but you canât bear to see their faces as they send you away to a man who couldnât even show his face for your wedding.Â
The carriage ride is somehow longer than youâd thought it would be- apparently, the castleâs size makes it seem deceptively close. The trip is rocky and twisty and altogether unpleasant as you steadily make your way toward the castle gates. By the time you reach them you think youâve probably dozed in and out of consciousness at least half a dozen times.Â
The castle is even more intimidating up close. Spires that swirl into the clouds, sculptures that stare, doors that look more suited to being locked than opened. Itâs⊠terrifying.Â
When you finally roll to a stop, you move for the door. When you swing it open you get your fair share of strange looks from your attendants and remember that you should have waited for the footman. Your face heats as you climb out anyway, unwilling to subject yourself to the further humiliation of waiting for assistance.Â
Your feet hit gravel and all you can do is stare- up, up, up, to where the castleâs peaks disappear into the fog. When your eye flashes to a window on the east side of the manor you think you see a swaying curtain. You tuck your arms around yourself and shiver, but itâs not from the cold.Â
You nearly stumble over your feet on your first step inside. The entrance hall is larger than your former house, with ceilings that stretch so high you can hardly make out the figures on the frescoes that adorn it. Silver and blue drape everywhere, the Gojo family colors. You swallow when you see a chair that is most definitely worth more than your familyâs annual income.Â
The floors are marble and when your worn heels clack against it, you only feel reminded that you donât belong here. That question pricks in your mind again as you pass portraits of every Gojo heir to have lived in the last three hundred years. Why me? Why me? Why me?Â
Your footman deposits you in your room, a place more lavish than youâve ever seen. You have a four poster bed with a canopy of blue velvet, a window that overlooks a sprawling estate, and more square footage than youâve ever dreamed of.Â
âPull this if you need any sort of assistance, maâam.âÂ
You turn to see your footman referencing a silver cord at your bedside. You assume itâs one of those contraptions that rings a bell in the servantsâ quarters. You try to hide your amazement- youâve never seen one in real life before.Â
You clear your throat and give your most ladylike nod. âThank you, um-â you pause, your brow furrowing. âIâm sorry, I donât think I asked your name.âÂ
Your footman appears stunned to silence, like heâd never expected you to care about his existence, much less his name. He recovers quickly, though, and forces a small smile. âThomas, maâam.â
You smile and itâs genuine. âThank you, Thomas.âHe bows and makes a beeline for the door, but you have one more question. âOh, um, Thomas-â He freezes, turning slowly on his heel to face you.Â
âYes, my lady?âÂ
You cringe at the title. The sound of it creeps across your skin, foreign and⊠wrong. Why me? Why me? Why me?
You clear your throat again. âDo you know, um, well-â You shift, trying to word your question properly. âDo you know when I might see the Lord?âÂ
There is a pause, a moment of tension and silence, and then an answer. âNo, my lady.â
Thomas does not stick around for more questioning. The door clicks shut behind him and then you're left with only the sound of retreating footsteps.Â
Youâre stunned to say the least, mouth still halfway open, more questions on the tip of your tongue. Should you seek him out? Was that proper? Would he come to you? Would he meet you for dinner, perhaps? Surely he would come to your room tonight to⊠consummate. Would that be the first time you lay eyes on him? When heâs over you?Â
You sigh. Thereâs nothing much to be done about it now. You find your way to the bed and sit down hesitantly. It feels like a crime to rumple such primped and polished cotton. You do it anyway- itâs going to happen sometime, right? You fall back against the mattress and donât fail to notice how utterly comfortable it is. The silvery patterns on your canopy swirl and bend together. Youâre tired. You didnât sleep much last night, anxious for the morning⊠and itâs only mid-afternoon now. You had time for a nap, right? Your eyes are closing before you can convince yourself itâs a bad idea and then youâre swept away into a world of warm darkness.Â
You wake with a start. Your first thought is that itâs dark now. Your room is pitch black except for the stream of moonlight passing through your stupidly large window. Your mouth feels dry and your skin is cold, like youâve just woken from a nightmare. If you have, you donât remember it. Perhaps thatâs a blessing.Â
You sit up, combing a finger through your hair and laughing pitifully when you realize that you left your shoes on as you slept. You hope Thomas didnât walk in to find you in yet another unladylike position. A glance at the foot of the bed reveals he might have. Your bags have arrived- all three of them. You eye them with a combination of longing and contempt. They don't match this place. Theyâre worn and used- everything here is shiny and new. Still, theyâre all you have, and all you have left of your life before. All you have left of home.Â
You stretch your arms above your head, nearly groaning at the burn in your muscles. The carriage ride did your body no favors and you suspect youâll be sore for many days to come.Â
You rise, no longer content to lie in bed. Youâve had your rest and, from the state of darkness outside, you suspect your new husband might be joining you soon. The thought twists a certain tightness into your gut, but you push it aside. If that was the price you paid for all he gave your family⊠then youâd pay it gladly.Â
You start with candles, finding a box of matches at your bedside. You light every candelabra you can find. The room, the castle, seems so perpetually⊠black- like it soaks up every ray of light it touches. Even when youâve finished it doesnât feel like enough. You make a note to ask Thomas for more in the morning.Â
You find a meal, carefully prepared and preserved, on a table near your dresser. Judging by the fact that itâs still warm, you conclude that it canât be much past mid-evening. You originally intend to pick at the food as you unpack, but one bite has your mouth watering. It is the most delicious thing to ever touch your lips, complete with dessert waiting on the side. You clean your plate before moving onto your bags.Â
You lay your clothes out on the bed. A few dresses, riding pants, undergarments, an assortment of ribbons and bows. At one time these items had been the finest things you owned- now you owned a castle.Â
You find an armoire that looks like a master sculptor carved its edges and grab a dress, intending to hang it. Instead, your dress hits the floor when you part the doors to find the hangers already full. Your lips part. Luxury dresses of silk and satin line the rack, fading into some that appear more casual outfits of cotton and linen. You stretch a hand out, curious and utterly⊠amazed. To think your new husband had gone to all the effort⊠Your hand brushes purple silk and-Â
âDo you like them?âÂ
You screech, jumping to face the voice at your back. It takes a moment for your eyes to find him, leaning casually against one post of your bed. Your breath is stolen for a second time. Snow white hair, piercingly blue eyes, pale soft skin⊠you know who he is even without looking at his dress, at the air of authority he claims. Heâs your husband⊠and he is the most devastatingly beautiful thing youâve ever seen.Â
He laughs, then, and itâs a warmer sound than youâd thought it would be- rich and full. A sound that seeps into your bones and settles in your soul.Â
âSorry. Didnât mean to scare you,â he says, but the twinkle in his eyes makes you think that perhaps thatâs a lie.Â
Your heart pounds and your eyes flash to the door. Itâs shut. You didnât hear it open, nor did you hear it close behind him. You also didnât hear footsteps, didnât hear breaths, didnât hear him.Â
He follows your gaze and laughs again, though it sounds a bit⊠strained?Â
âI have a habit of being unintentionally lightfooted. I apologize.âÂ
Your heart is still pounding but you find it in yourself to have some decorum. You snap your jaw shut and bow your head slightly in respect. âYou must be Lord Gojo. Forgive me for my insolence.âÂ
Thereâs a beat, and then footstepsâ ones you actually hear this time. You clench your jaw when he stops before you and then nearly gasp when he takes your hand and brings it to his lips.Â
âSatoru, please,â he winks and you think you might stop breathing. âI am your husband after all.âÂ
You force yourself to nod, to swallow, to act normal. But how can you in the presence of a man that looks like⊠that? Thereâs something too unreal about him, too perfect. Itâs almost⊠unsettling.Â
âOf course⊠Satoru.âÂ
He straightens and shows you a close-lipped smile that digs a dimple into his left cheek. You have to look away to avoid stumbling over your own feet.Â
âSo, do you like them?â Your brows furrow- âThe dresses,â he clarifies.Â
âO-oh.â Your features relax into an easy smile. You turn back to your armoire, running a hand along another gown. You donât think youâve ever touched something so⊠finely made. âI like them very much. I donât know how to thank you.âÂ
Thereâs a little chuckle as you turn to face him again and you have to steel yourself before you meet his eyes. Heâs mesmerizing, too mesmerizing. You think you could probably lose yourself in those eyes foreverâŠÂ
âNo need to thank me. If they donât fit, weâll call for the seamstress in the morning.âÂ
You nod softly, still lost to the situation. Thereâs a beat of silence in which your husband does nothing but⊠look at you. His eyes roam freely and the hair on your arms stands under his gaze. He traces the lines of your nose and jaw and lingers on your pulse. Can he see just how fast your heart is pounding?
âDid you⊠get dinner?â Itâs a stupid question, you know, but you donât think you can bear another second of that look heâs giving you. âI fell asleep and found a plate. I hope I didnât prevent a proper mealâŠâ You trail off. Perhaps you shouldnât have pointed out your own shortcoming?Â
He gives you another smile and you swear he inches just a little closer. âYou did no such thing. Iâm⊠perfectly satisfied.âÂ
You nod, glad that he doesnât seem upset at the very least. Your lips press together, unsure of what to do or say. Youâve never had a husband before. Wasnât he supposed to just sort of⊠put you on the bed and⊠do it?
Your eyes flit to said bed and your husband must see because he hurries to continue.Â
âWell, Iâll see you in the morning then, hm?â His eyes flit to your armoire and back again. âWear the blue dress with the lace to breakfast, yeah? Been dying to see it on you.â He chuckles like heâs just told some sort of amusing joke.
Your brows furrow. That was⊠not the topic youâd been expecting. âYouâre notâŠâ You feel your cheeks heat and tighten your jaw. âNot staying the night?âÂ
His lashes lower a fraction and those eyes pierce you again. You donât think you could move even if you wanted to, even with him prowling closer, each step eating up the space between you. He doesnât stop until youâre nose to nose and you can feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. Itâs cold somehow, chilling, and you shiver. He smirks.Â
âNot tonight.âÂ
His head dips and for a moment you think heâs going to kiss you, but then heâs bypassing your mouth altogether and- his lips connect to your pulse. His mouth is cool, just like his breath, and you shiver uncontrollably under his touch.Â
His touch is just a fleeting moment, just a wrinkle in time, and then heâs gone. His footsteps are quiet brushes on the hardwood and the creak of the door even seems tamed in his presence.Â
âGoodnight,â is all he says, and then heâs gone.Â
You climb into your bed an hour later wondering what in the world just happened.Â
~Â Â
You do wear the blue dress to breakfast and you can only gape in the mirror when you realize that it fits perfectly. It has you second-guessing yourself. Had you sent your measurements in advance and forgotten about it? No, youâd only sent a handful of pieces of information to the Lord prior to your marriage and you remembered all of them very clearly. Everything had gone through a messenger, everything had been clear and directâ you would have remembered sending your measurementsâ you didnât. So had he just⊠guessed?Â
That seemed impossible with how everything fit you like a glove, but it was the only explanation you had. The only one that made sense.Â
When you join Satoru for breakfast itâs in a sitting room as lavishly decorated as the rest of the castle, but perhaps organized to be a bit more⊠liveable. He has no plate in front of him, only a tin cup that hides the contents of whatever heâs drinking. You assume coffee or juice. Perhaps heâs just not a breakfast person.Â
âIt fits!â he says. His hands clasp together in front of him and he smiles again, dimples and all.Â
You nod and fight the heat that bubbles beneath your cheeks as you take your seat. âYes, perfectly.â
A plate is set before you and a glance up reveals itâs Thomas serving your breakfast. You smile, hoping for some acknowledgement from him, for a small piece of comfort. Instead, you get his averted gaze and quick retreat. Your brows furrow, but before you can say anything, Satoru is back to speaking.Â
âI hope Thomas treated you well yesterday?âÂ
You glance up, but Satoruâs eyes arenât on you, theyâre on your footman. His smile is bright, but itâs anything but friendly. You fight a shiver.Â
You glance at Thomas. Heâs perfectly still, perfectly straight, but you think you see a muscle clench in his jaw. You clear your throat. âY-Yes. Thomas was very helpful.â When Satoru keeps staring the boy down you add, â-and very respectful.âÂ
That seems to satisfy. Satoru breaks his stare and some of the tension in the air instantly eases. He shoots you another dimpled smile, this one with a little more warmth. âPerfect.âÂ
Thereâs a beat and then heâs standing, draining whatever he has in his cup and then straightening his jacket. âWell, I have some work to do. Iâll see you for dinner?â Heâs grinning again, like itâs so normal for a man to abandon his bride on their wedding night and then again the morning after. All you can do is nod. He chuckles. âSee you then, princess.â And then heâs gone.
~
If this is to be your life you don't know how you will survive it. You spend the day milling about. Through the gardens, through the castle, through the stables. Thomas is never far behind, but any attempt at conversation is nipped in the bud by hit shortness. Itâs like he fears coming too close. Heâs never closer than a couple paces except when he has to bring you something, only to retreat again as soon as possible. The other servants barely pay you any mind apart from giving you a respectful greeting and then immediately averting their eyes. There is no work to be done, no guests to be had, no parties to plan⊠and no Satoru. You donât see your husband once on tour around the grounds. You ask Thomas where his office is only for him to vaguely point out a window in the east tower. You donât see so much as a ripple in the curtains.Â
Dinner comes around at the pace of a snail. When itâs finally time to get dressed a ladyâs maid whose name you donât even catch arrives to help you lace your dress. As soon as your corset is deemed tight enough sheâs back out the door with a curtsy. Thomas leads you to the dining room and your eyes roam the whole way. Even after having spent the whole day exploring, there are halls and corridors that youâve yet to step foot in.Â
The dining room is just as gorgeous as the rest of the placeâ filled with singular items that could feed entire families for years. Somehow, you think youâve already grown accustomed to such things, since the only thing you truly care to look at is your husband. Satoruâs already seated, but he stands when you enter, looping around the table to pull a chair out for you.Â
You give him your most genuine smile, accepting a kiss to your knuckles in greeting before you settle. âHow was your day?â you ask as he takes his seat again.Â
He chuckles. âPerfectly fine. And how was yours, princess?â Your nose crinkles. Thatâs the second time heâs called you that. Something about it feels wrong. Youâre still getting used to being a lady. Princess feels even worse.Â
âIt was⊠good.â
You watch a perfect white brow arch in the candlelight. âOh? Just good?â You donât miss the way his eyes flicker to the cornerâ to Thomas.Â
You hurry to elaborate. âWell, I justâ I canât help but feel as if thereâs not much⊠use for me.â Servants flood in, some carrying wine, others carrying trays that hold more food than the both of you could ever possibly consume.Â
That brow arches impossibly higher. âUse?â His lips crack into that smile again, but itâs tight this time. Too tight. âYou have no use. You only enjoy yourself. Surely Thomas has told you that.âÂ
A plate of steaming food plops in front of you. Even its heavenly smell canât quell the sudden dread in your gut. âOf course! Of course he did.â Your stomach twists and you decide that perhaps now is not the time to press the subject. âIâll just⊠Iâll try riding tomorrow.â You hate riding, but itâs the first thing that comes to mind.Â
Satoruâs smile thaws into something less menacing. âIâm sure youâll enjoy that.âÂ
You nod eagerly. âIâm sure I will.âÂ
You grab your fork, eager for a new subject. From what you can tell, dinner is roast chicken and vegetables, though itâs the luxury version as everything seems to be. The spices are intoxicating and the green beans are even arranged in a pretty little pattern that makes them look too good to eat. You do anyway. The first bite nearly makes you moan, but you chew slowly, delicately, trying not to let your upbringing show.
Itâs not until several bites later that you realize youâre the only one eating. A quick glance reveals your husband has no platter, no chicken or green beans. Heâs only⊠watching you. You clear your throat, dabbing at your lips with a napkin.Â
âYouâre not⊠eating?â
That permanent smile grows a little wider and you canât help but feel as if thereâs something⊠menacing about it. âAte before I came.âÂ
Your brows furrow. âOh. Were you on the road?âÂ
You think you see something wild flash in his eyes. âNo.âÂ
The rest of dinner passes slowly, almost painfully. Satoru doesnât eat a bite, doesnât even look enticed. You wonder how thatâs possible when it smells like a spice bomb went off in the dining room.Â
By the time youâve cleared your plate youâve discussed everything from the number of horses in the stables to kinds of crops grown on the estate. Itâs comforting to know a little more about your new home, but itâs not enough.Â
âIs there a library?â you ask. Youâre on dessert now. Itâs the best chocolate cake youâve ever had and it takes everything in you to hold back a moan each time it touches your tongue.Â
âOf course.â Your husbandâs eyes flicker to Thomas again and youâre honestly starting to fear for the poor footmanâs life. Everytime you ask a question itâs like Satoru is angry it hasnât already been answered. âItâs yours to use as you please.âÂ
You smile lightly. âPerfect. Thank you.âÂ
He softens a bit at that. âIs there anything specific you wanted to read about?âÂ
You shrug. âThe estate, I suppose. I should know my homeâs history, no?â
His eyes get that wild look again, that sparkle that you know speaks to nothing good. âOh, absolutely. I have some personal favorites to recommend. Iâll leave them aside for you?âÂ
You swallow and give him a shallow nod. âThat would be perfect. Thank you.âÂ
He chuckles. âMy pleasure.âÂ
When dessert is finally over, you stand slowly. Satoruâs not far behind you, saying heâll walk you to your room. Your heart leaps at his words. Will he stay with you tonight?Â
He offers you his arm in the hall and your mouth runs dry when you feel the corded muscle beneath his jacket. By the time you reach your room, youâre thinking of tugging him in behind you. His denial to stay with you last night was not only confusing, but⊠off putting. Nearly offensive. Did he not like how you looked? Did he think something was wrong with you?Â
You muster all the courage you possess and force your lips apart. âWill you stay with me tonight?âÂ
His eyes spark again and you hold your breath. He presses closer. This is it, you think. His lips hover over yours, eyes glimmering in the candlelight. And then he dips his head, his mouth pressing to your pulse.Â
âNot tonight,â he whispersâ and then heâs gone.Â
~
You wake suddenly. Itâs the middle of the night, you gather. The light streaming through the window is weak enough to only be that of the moon.Â
Your heart is pounding and your skin is slick with sweat despite the chill in your bones. A nightmare, you think. It must have been a nightmare.Â
As you settle back into your sheets you swear you see a ripple in the darkness. You close your eyes. If your nightmare is real, youâd rather not see it coming.
~
The library is huge. Itâs sprawling and smells of paper and leather and everytime Thomas lights a candle you flinch at the idea that one misplaced spark could end thousands of years of knowledge.Â
The books Satoru left you are⊠perfect. Just what you were looking for. Theyâre all comprehensive volumes of the history of the estate, many of which reference each other. Youâre stunned to see that several are written by very well-known authors of both the past and the present. You knew the Gojo familyâs influence reached far, but not that far. You peruse the titles. The Gojos: A History, A History of the Gojo Crest, History of the Gojo Castle, Revisiting the Gojo Family: A Comprehensive History. Altogether you have well over a few thousand pages of informationâ but thereâs one book that doesnât fit with the rest. Itâs relatively unassuming. A black cover with some sort of gold rune etched onto its front. When you flip to the title page it reads âCreatures of Myth and Where To Find Themâ. Your brows furrow. You slide it to the sideâ must have gotten mixed in with the others, you think.
~
You ask Thomas to bring the books to your room. He does. Very respectfully. He sets them on your bedside table and then retreats like a kicked puppy with only a polite goodbye. You sigh. His behavior has only gotten stranger in the past few days. You think the servantsâ coldness must have something to do with Satoru, but you canât figure out why. Had he ordered them to stay away? Why would he?Â
You decide itâs a question for another day and dive into your books. You spend hours, days, reading every chapter, page, and word. The pure amount of information is dizzying. Apparently this specific estate had been in the hands of the Gojo family since the eighth century (with several razings and consequential rebuilds). You also learn that Satoru was not only the most wealthy lord on the continent, but the most wealthy man. Even wealthier than the king apparently, though that fact was kept fairly under wraps to protect the crownâs ego. The estimates of your husbandâs net worth made your head spin.
Satoru joins you for breakfast and dinner every day. You never see him eat a morsel. Itâs⊠unsettling to say the least. Itâs always just that tin cup, filled with something you could never quite see. You develop a pattern of waking in the night, too, with the overwhelming sense that something is watching you. Sometimes you could swear you feel the bed shift as you jerk awake. Each time you simply close your eyes and try your best to slow your heart, convinced your mind is playing tricks on you.Â
Your days feel a little more productive with a book in your hands, but youâve read them all three times over by the time a fortnight has passed. You find yourself packing them up to return to Thomas when a certain black cover catches your attention. You grab it from the pile and settle back into your seat. Youâve nothing better to do, right?Â
You flip back the cover, revealing a familiar title. âCreatures of Myth and Where to Find Themâ. You donât recognize the authorâs name. A quick scroll through the table of contents reveals nothing particularly interesting, but you pick a random chapter on ghouls and decide to start there.Â
Itâs fascinating. Nothing about the style is boring and the words fly by. Your silly little myth book is a page turner. By the time you notice the light has started dying youâve read about ghosts, fairies, werewolves, and goblinsâ all of which have been a delightful little read. A glance at the clock reveals you have a half hour before dinner. One more chapter, you think. Your eyes skim the title. âVampires [Vampyr]â.Â
You skim the first paragraphs until your eyes settle on a line that catches your eye.Â
âContrary to popular belief, vampires are not always crazed blood-hungry monsters. Many live among humans quite comfortably and are able to avoid detection with a little well-placed effort.âÂ
You purse your lips. What a⊠terrifying thought. You skim a little further.Â
âA vampireâs key characteristic is, of course, their desire and need to drink human blood as sustenance. However, a vampire can be spotted sooner if one is able to recognize their subtler traits. Vampires often have skin lacking any sort of flush. The lack of blood in their veins results in a sickly pallor, even after the most rigorous exercise. Their skin is also noticeably cold to the touch. At best, a vampireâs body will reach room temperature. Vampires can also be noted for their preternatural beauty. They will stand out as the most attractive person in any crowd. Finally, a vampire will have fangs. If one wishes to identify a vampire, one only needs a good look at their teethâ.
A chill settles over your skin. You flip ahead a few pages.Â
âVampires are unable to consume typical human food. Should they attempt to, their bodies will immediately reject any and all foreign substances.âÂ
Your stomach drops. You donât want to think about why. You skip the rest of the paragraph.Â
âVampires possess several supernatural abilities that set them apart as a humanâs predator rather than their equal. Vampires are known to move unnaturally fast and are notably light footed. If a vampire does not wish to be heard, they will not be. A vampireâs strength is inhuman, well over ten times that of the average man. They also have a penchant for darkness, an ability to hide away in the shadows that cannot be explained. Oftentimes they will seem to appear from thin air.â
You skip ahead again.
âVampires have been known to take mates. Mates usually come in the form of another vampire, but in some cases a human has been chosen. Vampires are fiercely protective of their mates, bordering on obsession. Any person deemed a threat to their bond or their mateâs safety is usually disposed of quickly. Oftentimes, vampires make these decisions with haste, with little regard for whether or not the threat was real. A vampire will do everything in their power to please their mate, but have been known to forcibly restrain their mates in situations of unrequited feelings. Above all else, vampires wish to possess their mates. Two bonded vampires will sometimes spiral into gloriously destructive fits in their endless desire to protect and possess one another. A vampire bonded to a human will show an increasingly protective nature, often isolating their mate from others.â
Your heart pounds. A bead of sweat rolls down your back. You flip the pages, desperateâ desperate for a piece of information that will save you from the thoughts spilling in your mind, from the thoughts you will do anything not to believe. You reach the âWhere to Find Themâ subsection and nearly gasp with relief. Surely, vampires do not pose as wealthy lords of Europe?Â
âVampires can be found everywhere. They do not exist in only one country or continent, but all over the world. Odds are that you have faced at least one vampire in your life, unknowingly or not. Some vampires choose to live solitary lives, surviving in the wilderness where human society will not attempt to tame their wild nature. Others choose to live among humans, some even existing in positions of very high authority.âÂ
No, no, no. This canât be happening to you. It canât be real. Youâre dreaming, youâre having one of those nightmares again. Youâre going to wake up any second.Â
âOne tale recounts a razing of the Gojo estate in the 12th century.âÂ
Youâre panting, hyperventilating. This isnât happening.Â
âSoldiers of the enemy force recounted a singular man, the son and heir of the then Lord Gojo, taking out a minimum of 800 men. He was described as having his familyâs characteristic white hair as well as blue eyes. Eyewitness accounts depict the Gojo heir as covered in blood and killing savagely and with inhuman strength.âÂ
No, no, no.Â
â(See next page for only existing portrait)â
Your fingers tremble but you canât stop them. Thereâs no way. Itâs not possible.Â
You flip the page and Satoru stares back at you.Â
Knock! Knock! Knock!
You nearly scream. Your door rattles angrily, but youâre not sure you can answer it, not with the knowledge flooding your mind. The knocking continues. You run your hand over your face and smooth down your hair. You feel frazzled, dirty, despite not having moved from your chair all day. Another knock prompts you to set your book aside and stand. You do your best to compose yourself, to put on a straight face. You fail instantly when you pull back the door not to reveal your faithful attendant, not Thomas, but Satoru.Â
You bite back a shriek and instead force a smile. Youâre suddenly very aware of the blood pounding in you veins and of the fact that he most likely knows.Â
âHello,â he says, but his voice is lower than usually, more intense.Â
You force a breath into your lungs. âHello,â you answer, but it sounds more like a squeak than a greeting.Â
Something flashes in his eyes, something familiar, something that is no longer interesting but rather terrifying. âAre you alright? You seem a little⊠flushed.â The concern on his face feels anything but genuine.Â
âIâm fine,â you answer, but even you can tell that reply too quickly, too eagerly. You rush to cover it up. âIs it time for dinner? Whereâs Thomas?âÂ
His lip twitches and you see a muscle in his jaw flex. âThomas has⊠left us.âÂ
No. This wasnât happening to you. There was no way this was happening to you.Â
âHe⊠what?â Thereâs an unmistakable wobble in your voice that only causes Satoruâs face to fall further.Â
âItâs no matter. Heâs gone. Now itâs just you and me, hm?â He chuckles and the sound rattles your bones. âIn fact, I was thinking Iâd cut down on the number of servants we have entirelyâŠâÂ
You mind races with the memory of knowledge you wish you didnât have. âVampires are fiercely protective of their mates, bordering on obsession. Any person deemed a threat to their bond or their mateâs safety is usually disposed of quickly.â
You nearly stumble, but lean against the doorframe just in time. Your husband had disposed of a man, all because he brought you meals and books?
âWhat have you been up to today, princess?â The question breaks your trance just in time for you to see your husbandâs eyes flicker behind you.Â
You wet your lips. âJust some reading.â You plead that he doesnât ask anything further. He does.Â
âAbout the estate?â he asks.Â
You nod and try to swallow the lump in your throat. âYes.â
His smile returns and this time itâs not forced. âYou got my books, then?âÂ
You try smiling back, but youâre fairly sure it looks more like a grimace. âYes.â
âAnything interesting?â he presses.
This isnât happening. This canât be happening. Does he know? Does he know that you know? âYes, of course. Lots.âÂ
He pauses and you see the debate and then the decision in his eyes. You think itâs the first time youâve felt true terror when he meets your gaze again. âI think we should skip dinner tonight. It seems we have so much to discuss.â
You donât even have the wherewithal to scream when he steps into you, forcing you back until heâs shutting your door behind him. He doesnât stop there, though. He keeps pressing, keeps pushing until your knees hit the bed and youâre falling to the mattress. He crawls right after you.
âWho knew my little wife was such a reader? All those books in such a short time⊠You must be simply spilling with information.âÂ
You retreat across the mattress, squeaking when your back hits the headboard and his arms cage your waist. Youâre trapped.
His hands find your hips and youâre all too aware of how cool his touch is. Even more so when he pulls you right into his lap.
âSatoru-â your voice is pitiful, breathless, and youâre ashamed to say itâs not just from the fear in your gut. Heâs never been this close before, never touched you, held you like this. âThomas-âÂ
âDonât speak his name.â His face pulls into the first scowl youâve ever seen and the sight is enough to root you to the spot. Never have you seen anything more frightening. A creature so beautiful, so perfectly angelic, filled with an insurmountable rage. Itâs wrong. âHeâs gone. Heâll never bother you again.â Heâs closer now, his breath skating over your skin. Itâs cool and now you know the reason why.Â
You shake and tremble and you knowâ Thomas is dead. Your husband killed himâ killed him for getting too close when all he did was stay at a distance. Satoru killed him. Killed him.Â
He buries himself in your neck, his voice a near whine. âThought I could put up with it, just so youâd have someone to take care of youâŠâ He groans. âI was so wrong, princess. Couldnât stand it. Couldnât stand the way you smelled more like him than meâŠâÂ
You feel him melt against you then, relief washing over his body in a wave. âBut heâs gone. And now itâs just you and me, hm? Just you and meâŠâ He hums, like remembering that fact is all heâs ever needed.
Heâs kissing your pulse again, now, and your heart is racing faster than ever. Your fingers curl into his shoulders. You should push him away, away, away. Heâs a killer, of thousands no doubt. Youâve never felt at home here, never felt like you belonged. This is why. Youâre not even the same species. Heâs something else, something your hands were never meant to touch.Â
Your mind screams at you to do go, to shove and kick at him and leave this place behind. Go, go, go your gut says⊠but you donât. You canât. Itâs too⊠good. The feeling of his cool lips against your skin, of what youâre sure is his tongue prodding at your pulse⊠itâs intoxicating. He is intoxicating. How could anyone blame you for wanting more of someone, something, so divine?Â
âHave you figured it out yet, love?â Your breath hitches and he chuckles, licking a long stripe up your neck, before he settles back at your pulse. Always your pulse. âI can feel those little gears turning. Tell me, what have they discovered?âÂ
He knows you know. But heâs going to make you say it. You swallow and feel his grip on you tighten. âYouâreâŠâ Your breaths come faster. You canât. Not aloud. Aloud makes it too⊠real.Â
âYessss?â he prods. Heâs licking at you again, all the way across your throat to find your other pulse-point.Â
âYouâre notâŠâ Something sharps nicks at your skin and you bite your lip to hold back a whimper.Â
âGo on, princess.â You think heâs just smelling you now, just burying his face as close to you as possible and taking you in.Â
You close your eyes tightly, holding back tears. âNot human,â you breathe. A piece of you breaks with the admission.
He huffs a little laugh against your skin and pulls back to look you in the eye. âThatâs good,â he purrs. âBut I think you can be a little more specific, no?â His lips press to your chin, then the corner of your mouth, then down to your jaw⊠âTell me.âÂ
Your lips wobble, muscles clenching tighter with each passing moment. You donât want to say it, donât want to speak it into existence, but you also donât dare to disobey him.Â
âYouâre aâŠâ You shake and tremble. He draws a line up your neck with the tip of his nose.
âMhm?âÂ
You open your eyes, thinking this might be the last time you see. âVampire.âÂ
He chuckles and you feel his teeth press to the skin of your neck. âThatâs right, princess. So smart.âÂ
He smiles and you suddenly realize youâve never seen his teeth before. Everytime he smiles at you itâs close-lipped and dimpled. But this⊠this is the smile of a predatorâ all white and pointy and fitted with a set of menacingly long fangs. You sob at the sight.Â
âShhhhh,â he coos. He has your chin in his hand, forcing you to truly look at him, to see him for what he is. âI wonât hurt you, love.â You want to believe him so badly it burns, but his laugh washes away any fire and turns it to ice. âNot unless you want me to.â He wiggles a brow like itâs just a little joke, like heâs not an actual fucking vampire that had his fangs over your neck just moments ago.Â
âSatoru,â you beg. Youâre not sure what youâre begging for. Release maybe? But, no, thatâs not right. You donât want him to let you go, not when you finally have him close after all this time. âWhy did you pick me?âÂ
The question slips out. You hadnât even been thinking about it, hadnât even noticed it scratching at the walls of your mind, but it made its way out nonetheless.
His brow creases, but not in confusion. Moreso in⊠thoughtfulness. âDo you think about that a lot, princess?âÂ
You nod and you suddenly want him closer, want him to touch you everywhere, hold you like his life depends on it. You want him, no matter how horrible it might be.Â
He nods and hums, kissing the tip of your nose lightly. âWellâŠâ he says. His thumb swipes over your lips when he leans in to whisper in your ear. âAt first I wanted you for this.â His head dips to your neck again and you feel the familiar brush of his lips against your throat. âYou smellâŠâ he chuckles. âLike heaven. Which is a place Iâll never get to on my own, so I had to bring my own little slice home, no?â He laughs again, a little louder this time, genuinely amused. âWent into town one day and caught your scent on the street. At first I thought I must be walking past the bakery, but, lo and behold, there was no baker in sight.â Heâs still kissing at your pulse, worshiping it. âWent crazy, princess. Didnât think I was going to be able to contain myself when I found you. Thought it might be quite the scene.â He huffs a laugh and you shiver, somehow both terrified and intoxicated. âBut then I saw youââ he groans and something clenches deep at your center. âAnd I knew I needed more than just your blood. Needed you.â Heâs rocking into you now, and your breath catches when you feel something firm against your backside. âWent to you in that little room you slept in every night. Watched you. Couldnât stay away. Knew I had to have you.â You feel him smile against your skin. âAfter a week I couldnât take it anymore. Sent you that letter, married you. Made you mine.â He groans again. âThen I met you and you were so pretty, princess. Already knew it, but hearinâ you talk to me, look at me.â Teeth graze your pulse. âNeeded you more than ever. Almost took you right on the fucking floor in here while you were lookinâ at those dresses.â You whine when his hips roll into you again. âOh, but I knew I couldnât. Youâre so fragile, love. Had to wait, had to make you feel safe, yeah? Spent all this time forcing myself to stay away, âfraid of what I might too if I was in your presence too long. Had to control myself. Had to make you realize you could trust me.â He panting, like heâs so pent up he can hardly sit still. âDo you trust me, princess?âÂ
Your brows scrunch. Say no, say no, say no a part of you screams. Run, run, run. You canât. âYes,â you breathe.Â
You feel him smile again, feel the pleasure of submission. âGood girl.âÂ
Youâre on your back. It happens so fast your eyes donât even have time to gasp. You donât see Satoru, but you feel him. Everywhere. His hands are roaming your body softly, sliding under buttons and laces and popping them off. Your dress loosens with every passing moment until Satoru reappears above you, diving straight for your neck again. âSo good, princess. Letâs get you out of this dress, yeah?âÂ
You nod wordlessly, entranced. He finds your mouth as he rids you of your clothes. His tongue presses in and you flail against him, unsure of what to do, of how to handle the intrusion. The kiss is heavy, too heavy, but Satoru canât seem to stop. He devours you as he gives up on laces and buttons and simply shreds your dress down the back. You tremble when the cold air hits your skin, when his cool fingers dust your collarbone.Â
âI always forget how many damn layers they make you ladies wear,â he chuckles. His hands run beneath your shift, up across your bare thigh. You gasp at the touch. No one has even been so close to you before. You feel the threads of your corset snapping away, feel your breaths growing deeper. You tremble when he pulls your sleeve down past your shoulder and runs his mouth along the newly exposed skin.Â
âSatoru,â you gasp, and your hand pulls at his flowing white shirt.Â
He chuckles, pulling back just enough to see your face. âYou wanna see me too?â You nod, lips parted and eyes glassy, and he laughs again. He lips dust over the corner of your mouth. âAlright.âÂ
His hands shift from you to himself, working at the laces on his chest. His movements are speedy, practiced, like heâs been lacing and unlacing shirts for hundreds of years. Your throat tightens when you realize that he has.Â
You gasp when he reveals himself, when his shirt slides away to reveal an expanse of pale skin and carved muscle. Youâve never seen a man like this and seeing one this close up for the first time is nearly blinding. Heâs art, you think- nothing less.Â
âTouch me, princess,â he says. You canât. You shouldnât. Heâs too beautiful, too perfect to be beneath your insignificant hands. âNeed a little help?â he asks, and thereâs a lilt in his voice that makes you sure heâs grinning.Â
His hands find yours and bring them to his chest, running your palms over his collarbones, his pecs, down, down, down across his abs that you can feel each and every one⊠You whimper, watching your own fingers grope his skin. He pulls you lower, lower, lower, and you gasp when your fingertips brush the waistband of his pants. But then heâs laughing again and heâs throwing your arms over his shoulders and pulling you closer, kissing your neck like it pained him to be parted from your pulse for so long.Â
âNot so fast,â he says, like he wasnât the one nearly stuffing your hands down his pants. His hands are on your corset again. You can feel it dangling onto you by a thread, literally. All he needs is a couple more pulls and youâll be bare. By the look he gives you, you can tell heâsÂ
thinking the same thing. âYou touch me, now I touch you, yeah?â Thereâs a tug and a tear and then so much⊠cold. Youâve never realized how cold this castle is, not until youâre exposed to its elements fully. Youâre naked.Â
Satoru sits back on his knees and just watches. His gaze is searing, burning, despite the iciness of his being. Itâs too much. Your hands move to cover yourself, to maintain some modicum of your dignity-Â
âNo.â Strong hands find your wrists and pry them apart. âLet me see you,â he says. His tongue darts out to lick his lips.Â
Your jaw clenches and your frame shakes, but you do as he asks, letting your hands fall limply at your sides. Thereâs silence for many more moments and it seems to go on so long that you can only squeeze your eyes shut under his gaze. Surely he will turn you away now, get up and leave, tell you this was a mistake, tell you that youâreâÂ
âBeautiful,â he breathes. Your eyes snap open to find him already staring at you. âBeautiful,â he says again, and then heâs on you, lips at your pulse, hands on your skin. His touch is cool and you squeak at the chill that runs up your spine. Youâre not sure itâs entirely from his temperature.Â
His mouth seeks yours and he devours you. You feel as if heâs sucking your soul out through your lips. âTell me youâve never done this before,â he begs. âTell me Iâm the first to touch you.âÂ
You whine against his mouth, both aching for more and overwhelmed by what heâs already giving you. âY-Youâre the first,â you whisper.Â
His groan is deep, primal. It rattles through your chest and you whimper when his hands dig into your waist hard enough to bruise. âYes,â he breathes, and you shiver again. âLie back, princess.â Your eyes widen, with anticipation or fear youâre not sure. Probably both. He chuckles. âDonât worry. Iâll be gentle.âÂ
You pray he means that. âJust relax, love. Here, hold my hand.â His fingers find yours, twining them together. When you swallow, his eyes follow the bob of your throat. He leans back again and your body twitches when his free hand skims the skin of your thighs. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he finds your knees and you gasp when he parts your legs, revealing you so completely to his gaze. The way he stares, like heâs committing you to memory, itâs nearly enough to make you snap your thighs shut, but a squeeze from his hand reminds you to relax, to trust.Â
His palm skates up your thigh and settles near your hip, his fingertips inching closer to where you can feel an embarrassing throb.Â
âTell me, love. Have you ever touched yourself here?â His fingers dust low on your tummy- just low enough for you to catch his meaning, but not low enough to give you any relief. Your face heats and your teeth dig into the flesh of your cheek. You have, you have touched yourself there, but itâs the last thing you want to admit to your new husband. Itâs shameful, itâs dirty, itâs- âDonât think Iâll judge you, princess. Just wanna know.âÂ
You gulp down a breath. You should come clean. âY-yes,â you stutter, and the sound of your voice so weak and helpless only makes you flush further.Â
He chuckles and squeezes your hand again. âOn the outside or the inside?âÂ
Your eyes widen. I-inside? Youâd never considered that⊠âJ-just the outside,â you answer.Â
Your eyes grow even wider when his head rolls back and he moans straight up to the ceiling like your answer is heaven-sent. When he looks back to you his fangs are on full display. âWell, I think you and I are in for a little treat today, hm?âÂ
Your brow furrows and your lips part to ask him what he meansâ his fingers travel those last few inches down your tummy and find your clit. You squeak and jolt so violently that he presses a hand to your hip, holding you to the mattress. âSomebodyâs sensitive,â he chuckles. He holds you still for a moment and then lets your hips go free. âTry to stay still. I promise itâll feel good.â
You nod hopelessly, but this time youâre prepared for when he touches you again. Your muscles clench at the first touch, at the foreign sensation of a touch down there that wasnât your own. But then itâs more. Itâs languid, slow circles around a spot that youâve never been able to pinpoint so well on your own. Itâs heat building in your tummy that seeps through every vein and into every pore. Itâs relaxation that youâve never known, that has you melting into the mattress despite the chill of the touch.Â
Thereâs a little huff of a laugh and then his voice. âGood girl. Feels nice, yeah?â You nod hesitantly and squeeze desperately at his hand, searching for an anchor. His head cocks to the side and you watch the smile slide across his lips. âItâs about to feel even nicer.âÂ
By the time you realize what heâs doing itâs far too late to stop him. His mouth closes around your cunt and you yelp, trying to wiggle away from the overwhelming sensation- but heâs got his freehand on your hip again and his grip is bruising, punishing, as he holds you in place. He licks a stripe through your folds and you find yourself jolting again, uselessly so against the pressure of his palm on your hip. âStop that, princess.â Your heart drops at the admonishment until you feel his guiding touch. âRock into me like this.â His hand rocks your hips into his mouth and the pressure of his tongue against your clit is so delicious that you whimper. âGood girl,â he says and your heart rises right back up. âKeep doing that, now.â You donât dare defy him. You rock like he showed you, a little jerkily at first, and then you find a rhythm that has you seeing stars. âThatâs it, love,â he says, and the sound is muffled against your cunt. âHere, put your hand in my hair.â He finds your wrist and guides you forward until your fingers are tangling in those snowy locks. Theyâre even softer than youâd imagined. âGood girl,â he whispers and suddenly heâs taking one last long lick and lifting his head to meet your eyes. ââM gonna put my fingers in you now, princess.â Your chin wobbles. âIt might hurt a little bit, but stay still, okay?â You canât do anything but nod.Â
His eyes return to your cunt and you can feel him prodding at your entrance, circling the hole as you clench in anticipation. âRelaaaaaax, love,â he says and you nod. A deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouthâÂ
You feel the exact moment he pushes into you and a whine of pain rips from your throat. Your walls clamp down like a vice, angry at the intrusionâ but itâs already too late. Thereâs a beat of silence, of anticipation, and then heâsâ laughing?Â
Your brows furrow when you hear it, your head lifting to a sight that locks your limbs in shock. Satoruâs hand is lifted in front of his face, his pointer finger coated inâ blood, you realize. Your blood. And heâs a fucking vampire.Â
âOh princess,â he coos, and the manic look in his eyes makes you tremble. âYou really are perfect.âÂ
Things seem to slow as you watch him take his blood covered finger into his mouth. Youâre sure youâve never seen an expression more blissful, more lost to sensation. His eyes roll back and his body shivers, like heâs ascending to some higher plane. Maybe he is.Â
When he pulls his finger from his mouth itâs completely licked clean. You hold your breath. Heâs going to go for your neck now, right? Heâs had a taste and now heâll want more of it, all of it?
âFuck,â is all he says. His mouth is back on your cunt so fast you donât even see him move.Â
Your mouth falls wide. It hurts, the way he is so desperately licking at you. You feel his finger again, pressing in, in, in, only to pull back and suddenly be joined by another. The stretch tears at you. You thrash and jolt, but Satoru doesnât bother telling you to stop this time. His arm wraps over your hips, holding you in place. He seems immune to how hard your legs squeeze at his head or your hands pull at his hair. Heâs lost. You can feel him licking, lapping, and prodding at you like youâre a fucking gold mine. Heâs lost to desperation, to the need for more, more, more. Every so often he lifts his chin and you see his mouth smudged with a mixture of your wetness and your blood. He laps at his lips like an animal, dragging his thumb across his chin and sliding it into his mouth to make sure he gets every last drop.Â
Youâre not quite sure when the ravenous pain turns to a ravenous pleasure, when it turns from terrifying to downright delicious. You donât notice your moans filling the air until Satoru joins you, groaning and whining into your cunt and telling you to keep going, to keep making those sounds. The hand you have buried in his hair doesnât fight to push him away any longer, only to pull him into those now practiced rocks of your hips. His fingers thrust deep, curling into a spot that makes you feel so good and his mouth has found your clit again. He sucks your nerves lightly between his lips, tongue swirling in little circles. Your thighs start to shake.Â
âYes. Yes. Give it to me.âÂ
âS-Satoruââ you breathe. Warmth and tightness pool in your tummy, and you recognize it as your approaching orgasm, though you know this one will be far different than any youâve ever managed to give yourself. Your body shakes and your breaths tremble and thenâ you fall over the edge, rocking your hips senselessly, losing all form of rhythm. Warmth tingles in your spine and seeps all the way down to your toes. You think you cry out, cry for your husband, cry for more, cry for less, but if you do you donât hear it. All you hear is the pounding of your pulse, of pleasure throbbing in your veins until the world slowly seeps back in through the corners of your vision.Â
Satoru is grinning. A speck of your blood clings to his chin and his fangs peek out from behind his lips. The sight makes your blood run a little colder. If any part of you doubted what he was before⊠well, there was no doubt any longer.Â
Thereâs a shift between your legs, his hips slotting between them, and youâre suddenly snapped back to reality. From the look in his eyes, youâre not done.Â
Frantic hands find his pants and he undoes each button with a quickness that is almost inhuman. You wonder if he could go even faster, if heâs holding back so as not to scare you. If he is, it isnât working very well. Fear surges in your veins right alongside anticipation.Â
âS-Satoruââ
âItâs alright, love.â His hand finds yours without his eyes ever looking up. His grip is just a little too firm, a little too cold. âJust stay still.âÂ
You whimper, but you donât think heâs paying attention to that, and soon enough, neither are you. His pants slide down just past his hips, just enough. You gasp.Â
Youâve never seen a man in the nude, never even dared to think about what it might look like, though it seemed you no longer had to guess. His hand wrapped around his shaft, giving one long and slow stroke that made his breath hiss through his fangs. The tip was flushed, angry, and leaking something that looked clear and sticky. You couldnât help but notice it was a lot thicker than a finger, or even two. If his fingers had hurtâŠ
He moves with that alarming quickness again, leaning down to hover over you, chests nearly pressed together. âGonna take you now, princess. Gonna make you mine.â His eyes bore into yours, blue and shimmering with something wild. His hand presses into the mattress beside your head. âStay still, now.â
Itâs all the warning he gives you. You feel like youâre splittingâ straight up the middle. You wail, hands flying out to claw at his back. It hurts. It hurts.Â
âSatoru, p-please! ItâsââÂ
Lips catch yoursâ hungry, feral. The kiss is not gentle, not soothing. It shuts you up, it keeps you quiet, it keeps you still as you feel him sinking further, deeper into you. Itâs too much, you try to say, but the poke of sharp teeth against your lips keeps you silent. Your hips jolt and wiggle trying desperately to escape the stretch but itâs no use. By the time heâs fully inside you, tears are streaking down your cheeks, fat and heavy. His lips break away and his eyes reappear. You shake when you see that none of the wildness has been tamed, that youâve only just begun.
âGood girl,â he coos, and a cool finger traces a line across your jaw. âTook me so well.â You hold back a sob when his hips shift a little, testing, prodding. He must see the pinch of your eyes, the twist of your mouth, because heâs quick to comfort. âJust hold my hand, princess.â His hips rock in earnest this time and you whimper, squeezing down on his hand with all your might. Youâre panting as he chuckles. âBreathe, love. Breathe. Soon youâll be begging for more,â he laughs. Itâs not long before heâs rocking into you sincerely, setting a pace that stretches you to the brink of breaking. At first itâs all you can do to grasp onto him, to bite your lips through the whimpers and hold his hand. And then itâs⊠more. Itâs heat and warmth despite the coolness of his body on yours. Itâs sensation and⊠pleasure. He laughs when the first moan slides past your lips, burying his face in your neck once again. You hear him at your ear, panting his hot breath across your skin.Â
âFeel good, princess?â You nod, letting your hips rock against his as he showed you before. It feels goodâ it feels right. He chuckles, but thereâs nothing light about the sound. âWanna feel even better?â Something sharp pokes at the skin of your neck, hard enough to make you squeak, to make you freeze at what you know he wants.Â
He pulls himself back, pressing his forehead to yours, searching your eyes with his. Something like a cruel smile dances on his mouth. âJust a taste, love. I promise it wonâ hurt.â His tongue darts out and licks across your lips, his thrusts rocking just a bit faster. âYouâll feel sâ good anâ Iâll only take a little.â He laughs again and it sends a chill through your bones. âPromise.â He sounds breathless, like heâs struggling to restrain himself. The increase of his pace makes you whine and you squeeze his hand again. He buries himself back in your neck, panting. âCome on, love. Say yes. Say yes fâ me.â Your eyes glaze over. Your body justles with each new thrust. Heâs desperate now, seeking a release that you donât think is any kind youâre familiar with. âYes, yes, yes,â he chants in your ear. Youâre not sure when his words twist in your mind, when they settle on your tongue and push past your lips, but you know it feels so right when they do.Â
âYes,â you whisper.Â
His fangs clamp around your pulse. You scream when the sting rips through you, violent and savageâ but it only lasts a moment. Pain fades to⊠ecstasy. You feel his throat bobbing with each swallow, feel your blood seeping from your skin and onto his tongue. Youâd thought it would feel slicing, draining, like the life was being sucked from you. It doesnât. It feels wonderful. Heat spreads under your skin, emanating from your neck and down to your toes. It feels like breathing for the first time, like sugar being pumped into your veins. It feels like heaven. Your hand tangles in his hair, holding him close. You donât want it to stop, not ever. You could die like this, have him suck every last drop of blood from your veins and thank him for it with your dying breath.Â
Heâs moaning now, hands curling into your hips while he fucks into you relentlessly. The pace is grueling and brutal. You know it should hurt but only feels perfect. Anything less would not be enough. Anything else would leave you wanting. You feel it building, feel that familiar twinge at your core. The ecstasy flooding through your veins has it coming faster, has you teetering on the edge in moments.Â
âSatoruâŠâ You hadnât noticed how dizzy you felt until you tried to speak. You wonder why⊠ââM gonnaâŠâÂ
He fucks you harder, something menacing and deep rumbling in his chest. The sound makes you shiver, makes you whine, makes you come.Â
Your body shakes and a cry rips from your throat, cunt clenching like a vice around him. Your eyes roll back, hands scraping trails down his back. Your thighs quake with the intensity, with the overwhelming senses of pleasure that erupt throughout your body. Every nerve is firing, every hair rising. Itâs an unstoppable current, one that sweeps you away, helpless to its pull.Â
His thrusts grow sloppy and untimed. His grip on your hips tightens, holding you in place while he makes you his. His teeth break from your neck and when you look up through blurry eyes you see his head thrown back, your blood streaming down his chin in thick little globs. You feel it when he cums, feel the thick ropes of it seeping into your womb, feel the way he keeps fucking you, pushing it deeper and deeper inside. Heâs moaning, chanting your name like a prayer at the heavens.Â
When the moment ends he slumps over you, eyes half lidded and tired. Thereâs a familiar grin on his lips, one that inspires both comfort and uneasiness in your gut. You canât help but stare at him, at the blood that stains his chin and cheeks, that reddens his lips so beautifully. You want to reach out and touch him, touch his blood-soaked skin and see what it feels like, what it tastes like. What you taste like.Â
His eyes slide to the side, finding your pulse again. You groan. Yes, you think. Please, yes. More. You donât think youâll ever get enough of that. Of his teeth in your flesh, of the euphoria flooding your veins. More, more, more, your mind chants.Â
He chuckles lightly and shakes his head. âNo, princess.â He raises a finger to trace the curve of your neck. âI took more than I should haveâŠâ His expression doesnât tense with worry. His cheeks pull into a smile, those little dimples shining through. âBut what can I say? You just taste so good.â Like he needs to emphasize his point, his tongue darts out to trace his lips, lapping up some of the remaining blood on his chin. âYou taste like mine.â
You whine. More, more, more. Itâs all you can think about. You lift an arm weakly. You want to pull him to your neck, to make him drink, to make him fill you with the heaven you had just moments ago.Â
He catches your wrist and brings it to his lips, inhaling deeply. His lips split into another grin and you see his eyes spark again with the wildness you crave.Â
âNot yet, princess.â he coos. âBut soon.â His smile grows even wider, until those fangs are on full display, until youâre trembling again. âForever,â he whispers.
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