Bueno, este es mi primer post y no quería perder la oportunidad de aprovechar tan especial ocasión para desearle al presidente de la República Argentina una muerte dolorosa y prematura.
Alejandro Esteban Ricardo Burromuerto was born on April 22nd, 1991 in Buenos Aires, Argentina to Francisco and Valentina Burromuerto! This makes him a Taurus (haha. bull)
His oldest brother is Carlos, and then Jose respectively (sorry about the lack of tilde over the e, i don't have spanish keyboard on my laptop lol)
Cisgender homosexual; lots of Catholic guilt from his upbringing surrounding his sexuality; hides it
Was a surprise baby; is mama's favorite but papa's least favorite. while she saw him as a blessing, he saw alejandro as a problem child who was overly sensitive (he would cry a lot)
growing up was not easy as the son of a diplomat; got away with too much which gave him a bratty demeanor which would get him in trouble; had to overperform for papa's attention; bullied by jose regularly and was often compared to jose by him; they traveled a lot as well, which made alejandro's homelife unstable.
on the flip side carlos taught him a lot of know-how with sports; very close with carlos and was close with mama. spent time with his brothers (when they were home) by playing soccer, or sneaking out to go watch soccer matches. soccer is considered a "low brow" sport by a lot of upper class in south america, so they'd HAVE to hide it from the fact they were hanging out in dingy bars from their dad. mama encouraged it though, and also encouraged carlos' love for the sport, wanting him to pursue it; fun and lovely memories exist there, and adult alejandro tries to focus on those solely.
lots of baby alejandro's pictures are in carlos' posession, btw. after total drama, alejandro was effectively disowned by his father, and all posessions were given to carlos (who drove down to BS from Miami, FL to get them).
growing up, alejandro also wasn't really allowed to choose what to do; was forced to participate in sports like the skateboarding olympics, the gymnastics team (gifted balancer!), mathletes, student body council, etc. was really just made to keep performing for papa. the son of a diplomat has to be well decorated and well educated, after all.
this lead to alejandro choosing to audition for total drama world tour; it was a secret audition that chris kept under wraps, and he was one of two people chosen for the new season to compete (and chris' assistant picked him specifically!); alejandro just wanted to choose his own path that set him apart from the other burromuertos. however, this caused a rift between him and his father, because reality television was trashy to him, and too lowbrow for his almost-perfect son. if alejandro didn't make a good name for himself and do the family proud... well. don't bother coming back.
(he failed.)
these high standards also lead to alejandro becoming VERY accustomed to lying and manipulating things to get his way. what can you say - it's the environment you grow up in that affects how you act as a young adult/adult. years of therapy and medications and blunt criticism broke alejandro out of that habit. the need to perform to get love. (noah finally settled the dust; you CAN be loved unconditionally.)
horrified of being a father, but lets his mind drift towards dreams of having a daughter. he'd be a killer girldad, he just is mortified of repeating what his father did to him.
for world tour, him and noah dated in the pre-production and first half of the season until London, where Noah became fully fed up with all of the shit with Heather and the other girls, and they had a major fight. the deal for alejandro was a contract where, if he followed every story beat and performed perfectly (something he'd practiced!) he'd get a chunk of change and a guaranteed spot in the final two. he'd just have to do what freshTV said (which was kiss women and fulfill a racist spanish stereotype. papa was right - this all was low brow.)
they'd get back together in their later 20's
ENOUGH ANGST!! alejandro writes fully in cursive. can print but his letters loop together. has very pretty handwriting.
smells good literally all of the time. his shower rituals take an hour at a time on a good day. expensive products for every inch of his body, and they all smell luxurious. very vain at times; takes great precision and pride in his manicured appearance.
loves to read nonfiction, academic articles, and science journals regarding his special interests. absorbs information like a sponge.
can trim his own bangs
when speaking more formally he tries to break up his contractions, but when he's relaxed his accent tends to slip out more and his spoken sentences are sloppier. uses emojis while texting. can write essays beautifully. him and noah are both gifted writers.
learned english against his will because papa found it unbecoming to speak their specific language on diplomat calls/tours (something about "universal language"). alejandro still finds it upsetting, and prefers to speak in spanish when he can, especially with family. tries to teach noah.
Ale would teach Anthropology later in life because he is a Nerd
methinks………….. mortuary anthropology? he still has his interest in dinosaurs and works with the paleontology part of the archaeology team to teach about them, but also has a major love of learning about past cultures as well. maybe a major in anthropology and a minor in paleontology? he also in my brain is a stellar cartographer (map maker!) and can map dense jungle out with his brain. that's why despite getting stuck from owen going missing, team chris did fairly well in the amazon challenge (headcanon!)
mortuary anthropology (my projecting #projecting!!!) would be an interest of his as well like i mentioned. he'd love learning about the ancient tombs and pyramids they'd use to bury their dead, what grave goods they'd contain and what they presented about that decedents personhood, etc. i just headcanon alejandro to be the biggest history nerd to ever history nerd
headcanon also that before he gets older and transitions into teaching, alejandro works for a long time at a history museum : 3 it's easier on his joints/an accessible, a smaller spot for him to traverse with a wheelchair/cane if need be. can sit when needed, etc. quiet and not super overwhelming + he can gush all about stuff and knows people are quite literally paying to listen to him infodump! he also loves his discount on the gift shop stuff. noah gets annoyed at times with how much alejandro comes home with (ie. massive stuffed dinosaurs and little fossil figurines)
i think he is a Wounded Deer by the time he turns 25 and is genuinely just a sweet guy. learned a lot from his mistakes, the shit total drama put him through/forced him to do, etc. he isn't absolved of all wrong doings but has learned to forgive himself for being a stupid kid and has started meds/gone to therapy/psychology appointments, etc. to make himself better.
he's pretentious and overly conscious of his food intake. big "i love fancy restaraunts where the serve salmon ceviche on 1 singular plantain crisp ❤️ " guy. really good chef, but cannot handle too much heat in the kitchen. gives him anxiety (trauma from volcano incident)
speaking of! alejandro had several broken long bones, a wrist fracture, sternum fracture, and several severe burns after the volcano incident. he was treated in a hospital in maui for several months until they deemed him okay to go home. had to relearn how to walk, and finds himself stiff at times in mobility. uses aids like canes and wheelchairs if necessary. also needs a wrist cuff, knee cuffs, compression socks, and other accessories if his nerve flareups are bad.
he also gets tingling numbness in the spots where he was badly burned. lots of damaged nerve endings there. hated his scarring for a long time, but has found them a little sexy in his older age. most scarring is on his left side, up from the foot all the way to his forehead.
speaking of older alejandro, he loves to still wear tighter, revealing clothing that shows off his muscles and abs (he still works out! that's what got him through major depressive episodes.) has longer hair, and a 5 o'clock shadow, as well as his gross little soul patch still. the hair there is soft, though.
wears designer brands because of course he does.
he has a lot of money from a freshTV lawsuit settlement, so he's donated some money to the hospital that helped him + burn victim charities, and then kept the rest. generous, and loves to give thoughtful gifts when he can + help homeless/less fortunate when he sees it.
speaking of gifts as well, this guy LOVES to be romantic. noah pretends to hate the mushy gushy stuff, but keeps every cologne-doused love letter, a flower from every bouquet, and more that alejandro has given him. alejandro loves to cook for the people he loves, as well as clean for them, and do favors. has built himself a found family after his own was too harsh for comfort.
owns a red camero. alejandro is an asshole. noah calls it the Fart Car because of the engine.
loves cats and birds! can never keep them at the same time though, however (lol). has a long-furred white cat named mimi, and when he was younger he kept a pair of parrots named Jewels and Treasure.
favorite movie as a child was Land Before Time; got him into dinosaurs in the first place
(never feel bad about doing this whether it’s to deepen the character, have fun, or build interesting headcanons! Even shit about what their favorite type of jelly bean is makes them feel more complex to you and that’s fun! GO NUTS!)
I don’t know if this is an obvious take or a hot take, but I think people need to start re-framing feminism as the fight for body autonomy as opposed to whatever this second wave revival gender essentialist bullshit we have going on right now. Once you reframe it in this way, it’s easier to understand intersectionality and why cis women are not the only people who need feminism. The lack of body autonomy effects cis women, trans people, intersex people, disabled people, poc, homeless people, sex workers, etc. and your feminism needs to include and prioritise all of these groups of people (which will include men btw) because feminism is about autonomy, not about establishing a matriarchy. Body autonomy is the biggest threat to the patriarchy, both with reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and even the right to not be drafted into military services. Once body autonomy is established for everyone, the patriarchy no longer has a leg to stand on.
And body autonomy does include things that you don’t personally like either. I was prompted to write this post after a series of bad takes from progressives, but one of them was re-hashing the Sabrina Carpenter album cover drama with “I don’t think it’s conservative of me to think that the album cover is a bad look when we’ve seen images of women being abused in this way” because I do actually think you’ve failed to understand feminism by projecting your morals onto a woman who was consensually expressing her own autonomy just because she expressed it in a way that you didn’t like or that made you uncomfortable.
Body autonomy also means unhealthy choices. Body autonomy also means regret rates. Body autonomy also means freedom of sexuality. Body autonomy also means mutilation. If you believe body autonomy has limitations and exceptions, then your feminism is most likely surface level.
TERFs are some of the biggest opponents to body autonomy, and if you find yourself thinking “oh people can do whatever they want with their bodies as long as it doesn’t harm them or make others uncomfortable” then you are far more susceptible to TERF propaganda than you think.
