Welcome to...Alternia Bistro...

BistroStuck is a Homstuck AU created by Razzda Twigs-Brah Textbook-Popstar Tostadorka Zozaine ---- Home Character Bios What can we get for you today? Begin Doodles

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Karkat: We have to many fucking people on the waitstaff but we can’t seem to get rid of them. Only Sollux and Vriska are working now. You’ll meet the rest later.

    Karkat: Here’s the kitchen. That sink will be your best friend. That’s Jade-   Jade: We’ve met!   Karkat: Well fucking glorious, then! Two other goobers work back here too. Where’s your brother, Harley?   Jade: Am I his keeper?   Karkat: Obviously.   Jade: Well where’s your so-called ‘best friend’?   Karkat: He doesn't come in until 4. Jade: Well there you go. Karkat: Shit! Jade: Calm down, it’s totally dead. I can handle it.

Karkat: Fine.

[stupidteapun]

I really like razzda’s bistrostuck Vriska. She’s so punk and cool. ;Y

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AAAH this is so cute! Thank you! <3

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whaeres nepeta and feferi

they're going to pop up soon (:

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[Tavros blushes and watches her as she walks away. Karkat and Sollux finally drift back from wherever they were having their private conversation.]  

  Karkat: I’m not accusing you, I’m just saying there have been complaints.   Sollux: Yeah, from him.   Karkat: He’s still a part of the team.   Sollux: You know heth jutht trying to get me in trouble.   Karkat: Just watch your fucking mouth, okay?   Karkat turns to Tavros.   Karkat: Okay, let’s get you introduced.      Karkat: This is Sollux, he’s the head waiter. If I’m not around then go to him. He’s the

only one around here who isn’t completely ass backwards incompetent.  

Sollux: Thanks KK.   Karkat shoots back: Don’t get a big head.    Karkat: Here’s the front. The hostess with either be Kanaya (that’s her) or Rose. They’re both about as weird as a cat with two heads.  

  [A dumb looks drifts over Tavros' face, and inside his mind a beautiful creature was beginning to form, a creature that no person, large or small, could ignore. This creature was the true definition of the word 'adorable'. In the dictionary where adorable would be instead lies this image, this creature that all would succumb to. It was so irresistible that many men would fall prey to it, slowly reaching their death, since they could do nothing but stare. Be cautious before you click.]

[A quiet "aw..." could be heard in the bistro as the thinker daydreamed further of this

glorious creature.]

art by razzda  

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just some more doodles from razzda

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Travos: E-excuse me?   Vriska: Aw, that look suits you. You know, pathetic. Like a kicked puppy.

[With all the tact of a frat house kegger Vriska spit her gum into her hand and slipped it behind her ear (for safekeeping). From the confines of god knows where she soon replaced it with a cigarette. It’s soon lit, the smoke of the first hit blown unceremoniously into Tavros’s face.]   Tavros: Oh, uh could you not do that I’m kind of allergic-   [The sneezing fit that occurs can rival Karkat’s great hiccup problem in ‘09. Conveniently that was Vriska’s fault too.  The waitress’s cackles fill the restaurant floor, and from across the room a black haired girl in a chef frock notices and quickly rushes over a finger already wagging.]

Jade: Vriska! You’re doing it again! Vriska: Doing whaaaaaaaat, Princess Jade? Jade: Being a bitch! Leave the new kid alone. Vriska: Not my fault he doesn't get my humor. Jade: I don’t think anyone does. Vriska: Not my fault everyone sucks. [With a flip of her unnatural blue hair Vriska exits, still laughing as she rounds the corner. Jade’s scowl changes into a stunning smile as she turns back to Tavros, her white and slightly uneven teeth leaving Tavros with a shortness of breath. It was a really, really cute smile.] Jade: Don’t worry about her. She’s just... Tavros: Pushy? Jade: To put it lightly. [The girl giggled and Tavros can’t help but laugh a little too. Her laugh was like chimes in the Summer breeze, rusting through freshly cut grass and...and...]

Jade: Oh! Tavros: Ah, sorry! [He shoves his piercing back into his nose, glancing around sheepishly.] Jade: Don’t be! [She waved her hand around as if clearing the air of smoke and any worry.] Jade: It suits you. It’s kind of cool!

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[The Bistro wasn’t exactly busy today, but to be fair it never really is.]

[Tavros struggled to tie his apron on as he surveyed his new surroundings. The waitstaff stands idle in places, lollygagging until they can’t get away with it any more. One waiter stands at the bar wrapping utensils, setting an example. He looks up, his expression quickly changing from bored to irritated.]

  Sollux: Whoth the kid? Don’t tell me more wait thtaff or I’ll gut you. Karkat: No, he’s the new busboy. Sollux: Oh great. Finally. If I had to clean up one more dith Vriska dropped on purpoth I wath gonna fly off the deep end. Vriska: What was that Soooooooollux?

[Vriska Serket, the restaurant's most notorious slacker, sauntered her way forward from one of her usual hiding places. She eyes Tavros with mild interest, placing a cigarette behind her ear.] Sollux: Nothing. Get back to work. Vriska: It’s dead dunpass. I’m on my smoke break. Sollux: I didn’t thay you could take a break. Vriska: You’re not my boss. Sollux: Yeth I am! I’m head waiter! Vriska: Whatever. Who’s the fresh meat? Karkat: Vriska, Tavros. New bus boy. [With a subtle hand gesture Karkat brought Sollux out from behind the bar.] Karkat: I have to talk to you. Sollux: Yeah yeah, whatever. Play nith you two. [Karkat gave an uneasy look back at his two employees before disappearing behind his office door. Now unsupervised Vriska decided to lean in, inches from Tavros’s face, as if examining him. Her unnaturally yellow eyes traced his face with an unwavering penetration. Tavros quickly turned a deep red, eyes wide watching her stare at him. Finally she popped her gum in his face with a loud ‘SMPOP’ and backs up, eyes drifting down.]

Vriska: Nice bling. Does it come in uncrippled? [Tavros followed her gaze down to his legs. Or rather, his leg braces.]

(art by twigs-brah)

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Just thought I'd throw this up here. 

(Oh hey there, I'm Toasty! Nice to meet you~)

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Bistrostuck doodles

Eridan, Dave, Karkat, and John by www.twigs-brah.tumblr.com

Rose by www.tostadorka.tumblr.com

Karkat by www.razzda.tumblr.com

[razzda]

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razzda:

Bistrostuck Kanaya

Yeah she has red hair but… fuck that, way too happy with the ink pens again

[twigs-brah]

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twigs-brah:

HOW FASHIONABLE. jk that outfit’s ugly. Bistrostuck Sollux. (I was too lazy to put his glasses on, oops.)

(Hi, this is Twigs, i'm one of the artists for this. so here have a doodle of Sollux outside of his work clothes! C:)

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some bistrostuck doodles! John and Dave (:

(art by razzda)

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(check out details in hair! I love putting hidden messages)

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(so there are nice big versions)

(art by razzda@tumblr, we are having different artists with each post so expect a large variety!)

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[The Alternia Bistro is a quaint little restaurant nestled lovingly between similar pubs and cafe’s in downtown Chicago. It would be described as the city’s ‘little hidden treasure’, if anyone bothered to write about it. Money is tight, the outside plain (“Charming,” Mister Vantas would say, “It makes me think of home.” And then his son would grumble about how the apartment they grew up in was bigger than this shithole and then they would dissolve into fighting in Italian.) service is...entertaining to say the least.]  

“So. Why do you want to work at this godforsaken hellhole?” “I’m sorry?” “Why did you decide to apply to work here, of all places?” “Oh! Um, well, you were hiring and I kind of needed a job. See, because I just moved here and um, well, I have bills and um, things to pay-” “Do you have experience working in the restaurant industry?” “Ahh...OH! Oh yeah, yes I do, yes. I kind of got fired from my last job though-” “Why the fuck would you tell me that in an interview?” “I, I don’t know. I just don’t like lying!” [Tavros Nitram is not very good at interviews. He fidgets, he picks, he would tell his deepest and darkest secrets if asked.]

[He is also very clumsy.] “Look... don’t go freaking out. It’s like you’re trying to hand me a reason to fire you.” “Sorry, sorry, hold on, wait. Fire ...me? Does that mean I got the job?” “You’re lucky we’re desperate. Can you start now?” “Yeah! Of course! Right now is perfect!” “Good.”

“Welcome to Alternia, kid.”

(art by razzda)

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