BitCandy Music

This be the tumblr arm of the evil BitCandy empire!

[bitcandymusic]

Why the Pixies Never Found Their Mojo Again

People get kicked out of bands. It happens. The Beatles nixed Pete Best because Ringo was a superior drummer. Metallica got rid of Dave Mustaine because only two very low IQ rageaholic jackasses are allowed in a band and they already had James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich.

But sometimes people are kicked out of bands for absolutely stupid reasons. Here are five of the most ridiculous band firings.

Remember the Pixies. The daddy of indie surf rock bands that whipped up a genre so unique and badass that without its existence, songs like "Where Is My Mind” and Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" would have never existed. They were undoubtedly a fun, talented, and influential bunch. But it always felt like they were a bit…precious. Somehow a little too cool for school. They had a group aesthetic that said "Not caring is cool."

Now, I might be totally wrong. I don't know the band, but I certainly don't seem wrong. When the band disbanded in 1993, lead singer Black Francis called lead guitarist Joey Santiago to let him know the Pixies were no more. Then he sent faxes to the rhythm section, David Lovering and Kim Deal. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, but that's not what the story's about.

The Pixies recently got back together and replaced bassist Kim Deal with bassist Kim Shattuck, formerly of the Muffs. Things were going great. The band was touring. Then, after one leg of the tour ended, Shattuck got a call from the manager that things weren't working out. Shattuck believes it might have been due to the fact that the other Pixies are more introverted, and pointed to a show at the Mayan Theater in LA where she did a stage dive.

In a Rolling Stone interview, she said, "I know they weren't thrilled about that. When I got offstage, the manager told me not to do that again. I said, 'Really, for my own safety?' And he said, 'No, because the Pixies don't do that.'"

Now maybe that's not true, but if you listen to Santiago's interview, it's not hard to believe. He claims it was impossible to fire her in person because everyone had gone home after the show. Also no one faxes anymore.

[bitcandymusic]

2 Bands That You Should Never Watch Live Unless Your Life Depends On It

Motley Crue

Vince Neil sings maybe 30% of most songs. He would just run out of breath after 1-2 words of every verse. It actually feels like watching a really bad SNL skit.

The band takes rotating breaks after every 2-3 songs, so they'd have these weird intermissions with really stupid skits and acts and just garbage. One was a 10 minute long Tommy Lee drum solo, so that wasn't so bad - the rest were just awful.

"Little People" aren't automatically entertaining. Sorry, you can't just throw 10 people with dwarfism on stage and expect everyone to forget they came to see a rock show.

They consistently live up to their unprofessional reputation by delaying the show by an hour or two. Secondly, someone needs to fire the genius organizer at one of their venues who decided to do 45 minutes of "show your tits cam" on the jumbotron. Except no woman under 50 was into it. So there were a whole lot of very saggy, pruny and visibly fake breasts belonging to very haggard looking women that the rest of the audience was subjected to.

MGMT

Basically because they wrote the first album, full of synthy hooks, essentially just to get a record deal. They never intended to sound like that as a band but the album became so popular that now they're stuck playing songs they've always hated. They think everyone who likes "Kids" is an idiot, and they play that way onstage. It's pretty damn unprofessional.

They show up late, smoke cigarettes and bullshit their entire sound check like they couldn't give a single fuck, and then go on to give a performance that makes The Black Eyed Peas performance at the Superbowl look like Michael Jackson’s Superbowl performance.

It would have been better if they just put a CD in a boom-box and walked off the stage. The singer acts like he's half asleep. Everyone seems incredibly disinterested in doing what they are doing. Heck, this attitude was close to the height of their popularity, so I can only imagine things have gotten worse. 

[bitcandymusic]

Trainwrecked Primadonnas of the Musicverse Profiles - Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams, alt-country songwriting machine and Bryan Adams-hater grew up under the influence of legendary Minneapolis band – the Replacements. He probably calls them "The Mats" and everything. Real high level stuff. So he must have been mighty bummed when Replacements lead singer Paul Westerberg said Ryan Adams "needs to have his teeth kicked in."

That's apt to put anyone in a cranky mood, and sure enough, when Ryan Adams took the stage that night, things almost immediately seemed kooky. The normally chuckle-worthy singer barely spoke for the first hour of the set. When he finally did, it was only to do one of three things: complain about Paul Westerberg wanting to kick his teeth in, complain about the shitty reviews his opening act received in the local press, or complain about the sound of the guitar amps. It was the latter of those three issues that finally made the fussy troubadour flee the stage.

See, instead of calling it a night at that obvious stopping point, Ryan Adams returned to the stage with an acoustic guitar in tow, and he stayed there a long fucking time. The final song count was a whopping 28, which makes for a long night even under normal circumstances.

When you add in even more chatter about Paul Westerberg and a really sad monologue about wanting to go home for Christmas, everyone but the most die-hard fans of Ryan Adams or train wrecks stayed for it all. I left almost as soon as the acoustic guitars came out.

Something about Ryan Adams and soul-crushing boredom must not mix, because his return trip to Minnesota didn't go a whole lot better. Once again, the show was plagued with sound problems. After just 70 minutes, the cranky songbird announced he was playing one final song and then bolted. His exit was so swift that many in attendance refused to believe the show was over until the house lights came up and everyone started booing.

Legend says Ryan Adams is still haunted by the Phantom of Technical Problems to this date and is shooting a drunk kid for requesting him to play “Summer of 69” somewhere around the world.

[bitcandymusic]

How 50 Cent Turned Out to Be The Enron of Hip-Hop

It’s time to talk about 50 Cent, I bet most of you didn’t see this coming since I’m a fan of him, be prepared I’ve got lots to say about him.

50 Cent is one of the many Grammy-nominated artists who underwent the “Daaaamn homie, in 03 you was the mannn homie, what the f**k happened to you?”syndrome. In these recent years, 50 Cent is to hit records what Jar Jar Binks is to the Star Wars franchise. Morbidly out of place. He can’t seem to make a hit reality TV show work either.

  Let’s start at the beginning of 50′s fall, In 2007 is when he just seemed to start losing with the preparation of his 3rd studio album “Curtis”, he first made the mistake of choosing 2 Bad singles (Amusement Park & Straight To The Bank) to start out with, which caused his sales to go down, if it wasn’t for I Get Money & Ayo Technology, the album wouldn’t have cracked 500,000 and then the publicity of Kanye’s album Vs 50′s Album.

That also caused 50 Cent to lose badly, taking a loss in America but winning World Wide, after losing in America it seemed like America wasn’t feeling 50 like they did in 2003. The album also got criticized a lot because of how many features the album had, with mostly pop joints instead of that grimy stuff that we are use to from 50.

Not to mention the beef with Rick Ross, that he did not start but certainly did not finish. Rick Ross’s career has not been finished and he is by far one of most relevant rappers out right now. Fast forwarding to the mid summer of 2009, 50 decides to release “Ok, You’re Right” that was his attempt of getting another street single like he did with ‘I Get Money’ but the single wasn’t received so well as ‘I Get Money’.

After the sales, 50 Cent decided to get away from the spotlight and not release that much new material. Fast forwarding to 2011, 50 decides to release 14 freestyles for promotion of his former ‘Sleek By 50′ headphones. He received positive responses for most of the freestyles it seems like 50 got his old self back but, until he release’s the 1st single from his new album you can’t really tell if he’s got it back. If the 1st single does well, 50 will get out of Flop City and join the Winners Circle. Still he’s a good business man, and he should stop focusing so much on movies when in the process of making an album, I think that messes him up as well.

[bitcandymusic]

When Bands Attack - The "Going Progressive" Edition

From out-of-control drug habits and heated clashes of inflated egos to control freak girlfriends and pop culture irrelevance, change is something that is inevitable in the life of every band that hits hard without warning. But sometimes, artists try to beat change at its own game by confronting it and taming it by mixing up things and refreshing their tunes to be a progressive band rather than end up in Creed or Nickelback purgatory.

Unfortunately, more often than not, drastic fuckery with the band’s signature sound or lineup can often rustle the jimmies of loyal fans who prefer the original works of their now ex-favorite artist. Music snobbery is not atypical of the hipster generation, but sometimes it is better to look in the mirror and realize you’re no Radiohead or Incubus and stick to whatever the fuck got you famous in the first place.

METALLICA

There is a strict set of rules and regulations to which all metal bands must adhere, and falling afoul of those rules is tantamount to treason.

Metallica fell way out of line with those rules in 1996 when they released an album called Load.

It marked the beginning of the end for Metallica and their "core" fans, though. They also violated Headbanger Bro Code 101 by cutting their hair and wearing suits.

The thrash metal aesthetics that were already waning on their previous album were completely gone on Load. This was riff rock. Alternative music, maybe. It was bluesy, or some shit. Whatever it was, it wasn't metal Metallica released a sequel to Load, which was called Reload with more of the same shit.

  You're still fine to hate them for killing Napster, having the most pretentious drummer in the history of music and the awful Some Kind of Monster documentary.

VAN HALEN

The Sammy Hagar-led version of Van Halen, or "Van Hagar," is probably the most hated version of a popular band ever known. if you're so inclined.

Replacing David Lee Roth, Hagar didn't just bring increased record sales to the Van Halen fold; he brought a completely different style.

Van Halen 2.0 progressed from being a rock band to a Coca Cola commercial rock band (codeword for a closet pop band).

[bitcandymusic]

3 Hot Artists in 2014 Urgently Needed to Update Your Hipster Resume

SKATERS

If the rest of SKATERS’ forthcoming debut album Manhattan is anything resembling “Deadbolt”, these guys are going to be someone to watch this year. Incessantly catchy and delightfully brash, “Deadbolt” restrains itself to a low simmer during the verses before all noisy hell breaks loose on the chorus. Underneath the guitar fuzz and dead-eyed vocals, there’s a pop song hiding here, but isn’t it so much more fun to hear something fucked up like this? 

https://soundcloud.com/skaters/skaters-deadbolt

GREY GORDON

Grey Gordon, offering up “500 Miles” from his Still At Home Here EP. “500 Miles” (no, he’s not walking them) is a wintery emo track that’s as comforting as your favorite black hoodie on a cold day, complete with lyrics to match. Every note of Gordon’s fingerpicked guitar resonates in the song’s crisp productions, and his subtly double-tracked vocals bring Ben Gibbard of Death Cab to mind. The strummed interlude provides a smart bit of structure, making the final chorus feel like coming home.

https://soundcloud.com/nosleeprecords/grey-gordon-500-miles-1

ESCAPISTS

Never underestimate a kickass bassline. Breaking It Up’s high-swinging arena rock wouldn’t have the same punch without the overdriven bassline that snakes through guitar histrionics and anguished vocals. That’s not to discredit the rest of the song, though; throughout “Breaking It Up”, Escapists stick the landing on a sound that hits hard emotionally and sonically while sounding effortlessly huge. It’s a refreshing modern rock track that’s definitely worth a listen.

https://soundcloud.com/escapistsmusic/breaking-it-up-1

[bitcandymusic]

Bands That Saved You From Vocally Transmitted Ear Cancer

Ever heard a song and wondered how a lead vocalist would essentially sound like a cheese grater scraping against Gilbert Gottfried’s voice box if he wasn’t supported by a great band? Now imagine listening to the isolated vocal track on loop with the cast of Glee whistling and snapping their fingers to it. Too sadistic? Well, let’s just keep it limited to the vocal track then.

Now there are tons of incredible vocal tracks by Freddie Mercury, Outkast and Damien Rice I could enlighten you with, but I’d rather disorient you with some shitty vocals instead.

Julian Casablancas - "Reptilia"

If you've ever wondered what the guy from the Strokes would sound like if he were performing while something in his body was rupturing, well, here's the isolated vocal track from "Reptilia":

If that's Julian Casablancas without the "man shouting while trapped in a treasure chest" effect they put on his voice in the original track, even he wouldn't have received a passing score singing his own song in Rock Band.

The producers took some fairly ear-grating vocals, then added some distortion effects to make them sound worse, thus tricking us into thinking the purposefully bad vocals were a stylistic choice. They raised the bar by lowering it. Clever.

Steve Harwell - "Days Like These"

Once upon a time in the early 2000s, we were all Smash Mouth fans. But then the Armageddon never came by. So we sobered up and went back to some better music instead. There are probably a bunch of fully released Smash Mouth songs you've never heard, but there's one you've never heard because the band never released it, and it didn't become public until it was leaked onto YouTube.

It was called "Days Like These," and in it, lead singer Steve Harwell recorded the vocal track and, well, that's pretty much as far as they got, I guess.

The song is all about being a regular dude who likes his friends and the sun and whatever else was in Mr. Riptide's eye line as he soaked in a Jacuzzi filled with Corona. If spiky hair with frosted tips could sing, it would sound like this:

On second thoughts, forget I ever said that. Without the music, it's just a cartoon dog with a backward baseball cap yelling at you about contentment.. All we have is what appears to be the result of someone secretly recording the idly sung tune of a SoCal surfer bro as he shat in a public toilet along Venice Beach.

[bitcandymusic]

3 ABC-List Actors Who Eventually Became D-List Musicians

Russell Crowe

Yes, Russell Crowe is in a band, well was…errr….is? The actor’s most recent band is The Ordinary Fear of God; however back in the 90′s he was the front-man for 30 Odd Foot of Grunts. However sultry and smooth Crowe’s voice may be on screen, it doesn’t translate that well to music.

It’s a good thing that almost nobody heard his music, otherwise it might have tainted his career! (assuming the Theater Society have issued a royal pardon for his singing in Les Miserables)

 Jennifer Love Hewitt

Unlike the other uniquely fucked up contenders in this category, this buxom brunette made her mediocrity a lot more tolerable by being so easy on the eyes. She broke out into the music scene at the same time Buffy the Vampire Slayer made her a household name and bathroom reading material for every adolescent with raging hormones.

Surprisingly, her music made it big in Asia, so record companies let her continue to pump out more trainwreck albums. Although her vocals aren’t Ashlee Simpson-esque atrocious, her pop lyrical stylings are so damn syrupy-sweet and sugar-coated that you could die of diabetes before you could finish listening to her first track.

Steven Seagal

Ok, really. How the hell did Seagal get a record contract? Who is seeing his movies and listening to his music? I don’t get it. Where does someone get the idea that Seagal should even record an album in the first place? The “singer”, and I use that term very loosely here, struggles heavily through the vocals on both his records: “Mojo Priest” and “Songs From The Crystal Cave”- album titles that sound more like awful movies that he starred in.

Seagal is heavily backed with decent musicians, so if you do decide to listen to his music, please don’t confuse the two. The worst part about the whole endeavor is that he seems to take himself seriously…trying to play guitar and sing…which seems to just be too big a feat for him to tackle – and this time he doesn’t have his stunt double.

[bitcandymusic]

Trainwrecked Primadonnas of the Musicverse Profiles - Fred Durst

Limp Bizkit was undeniably popular at one point, but so were slavery, segregation, and leg warmers. Now we can all look back and realize how terrible all those things were.

If you were in junior high or high school around the time of the nu-metal & rap-metal movements, you couldn't turn on mtv or the radio for 10 minutes without hearing the choppy rhymes of Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. Unfortunately, he also pioneered the quintessential douchebag bro fashion in the 90's that inspired a generation of Scumbag Steves.

Taking every opportunity to get on camera, taking every opportunity to get on magazine covers, talking as much controversy as possible, calling out rival bands on stage, getting in fist fights with fans, spilling his guts to gossip mags about the famous broads he nailed, and still having the nerve to say that the music industry is out to get him and he doesn't deserve all the hate and criticism coming his way takes some serious balls. Unfortunately, balls aren’t abundant with Mr. Durst either.

After referring to fans of Slipknot as "fat ugly kids" (would he be the pot or the kettle here? I never get this right) Dirtbag Durst was threatened by one of the bands percussionists. Basically after being told he would get his ass kicked if he badmouthed them again Fred went on to clarify: "We really like Slipknot and are very happy that they hate us because it makes their music heavier, angrier and real!!" To which Slipknot basically responded that Fred was a pussy and was just scared of them. Fred would have shit himself if he was not already entirely made up of 100% pure turd already.

Who names their album Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water anyway? Fred Durst does, kids. Thankfully Limp Bizkit and Mr. Durst have traveled the downward spiral into irrelevance in the music scene. However, there's talk of a comeback. Please say it aint so. All the rap-metal kids might have to dust off their red Yankees hat and cut off jean shorts for that reunion concert.

[bitcandymusic]

Trainwrecked Primadonnas of the Musicverse Profiles - Prince

If there was ever a multi-platinum artist who had the douchebag credentials to match his success, look no further than Prince Rogers Nelson AKA The Artist Formerly Known As Prince AKA Prince. There are few people in the world who make Kanye West look like Nelson Mandela, but Prince happens to do exactly that by taking the holier-than-thou routine to a whole new level. So today we profile the Primadonna Lord of Weird Prince by sharing some not-so-fun facts from his life:

He declared the internet to be a waning fad, refusing to release his newest and no doubt worst album via any digital platform. Why? Because "the internet's completely over," according to His Holiness. If only he checked his fax machine 20 years ago to find out that 80s dildo flavored pop party soundtracks have gone out of fashion. If only…

He is a shameless self-promoter who’s bitter about his lack of success who is a total hypocrite about covers. Prince says he doesn't understand why people want to cover someone else's songs. In the moment, I don't think to mention the 1996 Emancipation album features his covers of "Betcha By Golly Wow!" and "I Can't Make You Love Me," but no one pointed out to him that he sometimes plays covers during his performances.

He forced all his fans and business associates to call him The Artist Formerly Known As Prince despite several other suitable monikers available for copyright such as The Presently Insane Artist Known As Prince. We're surprised he hasn't tried to mooch off some royalties by suing JK Rowling yet.

He doesn't talk to old people. "I don't talk to old people…they try to find ways to stay static. Young folks are the ones with the ideas and constantly moving forward." This helps better explain how he probably stopped talking to his aging conscience a long time back too, because who needs that when you have an immortal ego?

[bitcandymusic]

Trainwrecked Primadonnas of the Musicverse Profiles - Fiona Apple

It is said that God first made Man, then took a vacation and made Woman. Unbeknownst  to him, Man fucked around with the beta designs of Woman in his absence, configured the hormonal levels to maximum and gave birth to an anomaly monstrosity known as Fiona Apple. When God came back and saw this, he hung her from a tree and told Adam and Eve never to take a bite off the Apple. Well, Eve couldn’t help herself and did it anyway, and we suffer to this date for putting the Godmother of Primadonnas AKA Miss Fiona Apple on a pedestal.

To say that Fiona Apple is an emotional nutjob perpetually on her period is an understatement. It didn't take long for the music world to learn that when MTV made the grave mistake of handing her a Video Music Award for Best New Artist at the 1997 VMAs. Instead of just accepting her award with a few thanks and acknowledgments like a normal person might, she instead launched into one of the most awkward and painful televised rants of all time.

There's really no telling what got Fiona in such a surly mood on a night when her peers were lavishing her with worthless awards, but her career as a breakdown-prone live performer was just getting started.

For starters, the title of her sophomore album, mercifully referred to only as When the Pawn ... by most media outlets, was actually a paragraph that reads as follows:

When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right.

Kindly take note of the selfless generosity she shows in saving space on the album cover by using the word cuz" instead of “because”. Just a few songs into one of the very first shows to promote her new album, Fiona blurted out something about wanting to do well in New York before yelling, "But I can't fucking hear myself!" Things only got worse from there, culminating in Fiona Apple crying and storming off after just 40 minutes onstage.

[bitcandymusic]

3 Least Anticipated Albums Set to Terrorize in 2014

Guns N' Roses (Unknown)

Although it’s not conventional to put up the nameless albums, but when I saw Axl Rose’s smug fat face announcing it, I realized my duty as a citizen who stands against shitty entertainment to warn the villagers before the douchebag sultan approaches. There isn't a lot of additional information available, but including it here isn't completely without reason. Here's the thing: If history is any indication, we'll still be talking about whether or not this album is coming out at least a decade from now.

When that day comes, I will take all sorts of smug satisfaction in being able to say, "I didn't care when that album was coming out 10 years ago before it even had a name."

That's all.

Johnny Cash I obviously didn't put Johnny Cash on this list because he makes bad music. I did put him on the list because he used to make bad music, and this album is a holdover from those days.

It seems almost unthinkable now, but before Rick Rubin came along and made him cool again, the career of Johnny Cash had become a bit of a joke. The unlikely duo spent the next 10 years or so returning Johnny Cash to his rightful place in country lore.

Before that, he spent most of the 1980s making really cheesy and awful music. How awful? Awful enough that when he tried to release an intentionally terrible song in the hopes that someone at the record label would notice he was still alive, the song ended up being one of his biggest hits of the entire decade.

 If not, you just missed Johnny Cash singing about having his brain transplanted into the body of a chicken. That was the defining song of that decade for him. That's how bad things were in the '80s.

Courtney Love

Bad news, guys: Hole broke up. I know, I was surprised, too. I mean, sure, the last "Hole" album didn't feature any actual members of the band aside from Courtney Love. But still, the new album she claimed is coming out in 2014 and then probably forgot about seconds later is billed as a Courtney Love solo album, so whatever incarnation of Hole was living in her head has apparently disbanded.

Yes, the new-age Yoko Ono in blonde has announced that her talentless recordings will be unleashed upon us once again.

[bitcandymusic]

3 Highly Anticipated New Albums to Drop in 2014

Death Cab For Cutie

It’s been an interesting few years for Death Cab For Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard. He’s been married, then divorced, released a solo album, reunited The Postal Service, and all of it has led back to a new Death Cab For Cutie album. Rumors that Death Cab For Cutie was writing a new album started to circulate around June of last year and as recently as October 2013 the band confirmed that they were already underway with the recording process.

Death Cab For Cutie is never one to rest on their laurels. Their last album “Codes and Keys” was quite heavy on the synth and got mixed reactions from their old school indie brigade fans. It’ll be interesting to see how the band’s emotional evolution translates into their soundscape voyage.

Adele Adele’s last album catapulted this talented young lady into the limelight and made her a superstar. Armed with massive amounts of talent Adele managed to shatter every preconception of what a superstar should both look and sound like. She doesn’t have to sell sex to market herself and her sound is both original and familiar.

Not much is known about her new album other than the fact that it will indeed be released at some point in 2014, but if her last album is any indication of the quality we might get this time around, then it’s safe to say you can expect another modern classic.

The Foo Fighters

The Foo Fighters know something that a lot of rock bands seem to forget and that is when it comes to rock music, it’s not rocket science, you’ve got to keep it simple. Dave Grohl and company have been one of the biggest rock bands in the world for almost two decades now because they know how to play with passion, how to craft great songs and at the bottom of it all, they just know how to rock!

When the guy with the top 5 rock artist resumes says that their new record will blow your minds away, you can bet your bottom dollar that this record will sound massive. 

[bitcandymusic]

Digging Into the Bowels of the Music Illuminati

What if I told you Justin Bieber is a programmed cyborg sent from the future to hasten the global IQ drain and accelerate the invasion of his alien overlords? But wait…you already knew that. Except the alien overlords already dropped by a few decades ago and started something called the mainstream music industry. A place where producers cast Hollywood rejects come to play the role of a lifetime and brainwash new generations of influential douchebags who dictate what’s cool and what isn’t to inconsequential douchebags; a practice otherwise known as the Billboard Top 100 list.

Today we dig into the dark worlds of the puppet masters who cook the tastes of modern music pop culture and unveil some scandalous B-level Illuminati shit. Say hello to Max Martin.

Before baptizing himself with a marketable Hollywood whore name, he was simply known as Martin Sandberg. This Swedish stud started off as a nobody and ended up as a nobody as a music artist; however, getting signed up to Denniz Pop’s Cheiron record label helped him find his true calling – as an insanely Nostradamus-like pop producer with more money than Scrooge McDuck and more hit singles than Michael Jackson.

Max Martin has helped write and produce more consistently record-shattering pop singles in the past decade than any other producer. Doesn’t look like a failed reality TV contestant anymore when you look back at him again now, doesn’t he? Well, take a brief glance at his production resume and cry your heart out:

Backstreet Boys - "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)"

Kelly Clarkson - "My Life Would Suck Without You"

Kelly Clarkson - "Since U Been Gone"

Celine Dion - "That's the Way It Is"

Katy Perry - "California Gurls"

Pink - "So What"

Britney Spears - "3"

Britney Spears - "...Baby One More Time"

Max Martin is not just a man behind-the-scenes; he is THE man behind-the-scenes, a la He Who Walks Behind the Rows from Children of the Corn, except he turns pop tarts into pop stars and is the undisputed Pop Fuhrer. 

[bitcandymusic]

3 Not So Terrible Songs By Terrible Artists

Ke$ha - Die Young

Ha! Because "die young" is what we all hope Ke$ha will do, right? No, that's not right. In fact, it's a horrible thing to say, not to mention the most obvious joke imaginable. I'm better than that; you should be as well.

Anyway, you know what's wrong with Ke$ha? Nothing. You can't really hassle her about just being a pretty face who sings over music produced and written by other people. For one thing, she plays an assault-rifle-shaped guitar on stage, which isn't something you see from the Nicki Minajs of the world or whatever.

So that's pretty neat. Beyond that, not only does she write a lot of her own songs, she writes them for other people as well, including a popular Britney Spears single.

Nickelback - Leader of Men

Here's a dirty little secret no one wants to admit to ... I owned a Nickelback CD once. In my defense, it was kind of an accident. I was a member of one of those Columbia House CD Club scams at the time and, for one of my "selections of the month," they sent Nickelback's debut album, The State. It was my fault for not sending back that card with the box checked to indicate that I don't want them to send me terrible music, but the fact remained that I owned a Nickelback CD.

Because I'd never heard of them, it took me a while to even bother listening to the album, but I finally did after hearing this song on the radio.

While it certainly wasn't my favorite song at the time, it also didn't include any blatant warnings that Nickelback was a band on the fast track to becoming the undisputed title holder of shittiest band of all time (as decided by the people, not me).

Black Eyed Peas - Joints & Jam

Surprisingly, this is another easy one to pick. It's a barely kept secret that, once upon a time, Black Eyed Peas were a well-respected rap outfit with a couple of fairly strong albums to their credit. These were the pre-Fergie days, before they were recording with Justin Timberlake and covering songs from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

The standout song from the glory days of Black Eyed Peas is "Joints & Jam."

If you're a devoted Black Eyed Peas hater who's hearing that for the first time, you probably made note of how little it sucks. If you didn't, you either hate them for the wrong reasons ("What's with those outfits??!?!") or don't love "real" music as much as you claim.

Either way, who fucking cares, right? We're talking about hating the Black Eyed Peas. At the end of the day, just so long as you do hate them for something, you're doing your part.

[bitcandymusic]

Hot Bands That Will Explode in 2014

Temples

Britain-based Temples is a great band to check out if you're a fan of the revamped indie psychedelic rock movement. A healthy alternative to the ravers who are one step away from taking a steaming dump over the DJ console when he plays “Don’t You Worry Child” again. "Mesmerize" is a captivating indie rock song that gives us high hopes for what Temples will put out in the coming months.

Totem 

Deadpan, math indie never sounded so succinct. Totem aren’t a band of flash moves but of addictive grooves. A band all about the music is a rare thing these days as style is seen as so important. The fact is, it’s what come out of the speakers that matters most and that’s where Totem really do it.

We hope you see the potential we see in these acts. We genuinely see them as among the very best worldwide. And if your band has been omitted, fear not. These are just our opinions and thoughts - we didn’t even put acts we are associated with on the list. Politics, huh!

Logic

I think it’s safe to say you set yourself up for criticism when you refer to yourself as “young Sinatra.” But by all accounts Logic, born Sir Robert Bryson Hall II, is a humble and hard working kid who had a difficult childhood about to make good on his efforts.

His flow can sometimes sound like Drake and he often sings in his own tracks, but his fast paced and articulate lyrics remind me of J. Cole. By his own admission he often gets compared to Mac Miller: “because my skin is white even though my father is black.” From Gaithersburg, Maryland, Logic is a good reason to get excited about the future of Hip-Hop in the DMV. 

Rio Rio

Keep an ear out for San Francisco indie rock quintet Rio Rio. They're talented, polished, and hungry. Their debut EP is out now, and it's further proof that Rio Rio is one of the best Bay Area bands to watch in 2014.

[bitcandymusic]

3 Awesome Controversial Moments That Altered Careers

Black Lips Strip n’ Run in India

GG Allin-lite rockers the Black Lips are perhaps the most fitting representative for Vice’s record label, as they’ve earned a reputation for exceedingly wild shows in unexpected locales. Their most famous performance yet occurred during a stop in India, in which police chased the band out of the country after nude stage diving and an onstage make-out session. As with the aforementioned Gimme Shelter, Vice journalists caught the whole story on tape, and you can watch the concert and its aftermath right now in the documentary Black Lips in India.

Saturday Night Heresy with Sinead O’Connor

Irish singer Sinead O’Connor is proof that not all publicity is good publicity after a performance that simultaneously defined and destroyed her career.

In SNL‘s most memorable musical act ever, O’Connor ripped up a picture of Pope John Paul II after an a cappella cover of Bob Marley’s “War.” Despite its consequences, O’Connor says she has no regrets about the performance

Elvis Gets the Pelvis Going on the Ed Sullivan Show

The Ed Sullivan Show‘s second-most-famous musical act (you know the first) was Elvis, who whipped America into a frenzy with just a few pelvic thrusts. 

While Elvis’ gyrations are unlikely to shock modern audiences, this might’ve been the very moment American pop music realized just how much sex sells. As far back as this performance may seem, it still echoes loudly in pop culture.