tallbitch

DNI: Tax collectors, “Weezer” fans, Miscreants and whatnot.

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writing prompt: the minions have pledged their allegiance to you as the most despicable villain on earth and you have no idea why

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beating my early hrt wife call it aa battery

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ask not what cunty can do for you. ask what you can do to be cunty.

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hi. i’m a balding millennial, and i’m here to write a 20 minute video essay about modern SpongeBob.

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do you think birds wake up in the morning and are like fuck i have to go to worms today

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do you think the silver play button speaks to YouTubers like the green goblin mask whenever they see a teenager

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You won’t last TEN SECONDS playing this game! (bull riding)

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I’m gonna go to Israel and Gaza and be like “guys, this isn’t you… you’re all people.” and they’re gonna throw down their weapons and be like “maybe we aren’t so different after all…”

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Mcdonald’s flag at half staff

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hey guys sorry i was aiming for my ex

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Glad to see some diversity in our mass shootings. Hopefully the next one is a disabled black lesbian

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sucking peanut butter off a dick. call it a PB&BJ

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i tried to make a joke to a patient about smuggling them of the hospital but i accidentally said “i’m gonna snuggle you” instead and it got really awkward

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my body is my canvas and i will paint it with cum

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bitches got me using the 🥺 emoji

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hey pretty lady *pukes blood* i’m sorry i’m so sorry *pukes blood*

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if my opps pull up i’m gonna pull a steven universe and talk them into becoming better people

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then we set aside our differences and become friends

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knitting sweaters with the opps