[bittenbyants]

He can't want me if I die!!!!!

[forbidden-sorcery]

[bittenbyants]

But at th3 same time my personality is then still predicated on the perception of others, even though this particular perception is substantial to me. I want to reach a point where I am wholly personally satisfied with whatever I do regardless of who sees it. I want to find joy in the simple sense of accomplishment alone

[bittenbyants]

Like, for example, after I finish a tattoo my first instinct is to send a picture of it to my best friends. I dont think this is bad necessarily. I think doing the equivalent for an anonymous audience is bad though because like. When you share an accomplishment with your friends its a very nice feeling. Qhen you share it with x amount of followers you dont even know, there's a sort of social yoke on you. You can only show what's best. With your friends, people that know ans love you regardless, there are no restrictions, and the love you receive is genuine

[bittenbyants]

I am only motivated by validation and impressing the people I care about. Whenever I complete something the joy isn't the satisfaction of the finished product, but the reactions of my friends at my handiwork

Sometimes i do wish i could do things for the sake of it, but in the end like. The real joy is in sharing it with my loved ones. It is not enough to be satisfied by myself :^/

[coffinsjane-deactivated20221202]

Leptirica (1973) - Dorde Kadijevic

[bittenbyants]

Haha babe dont believe in Qanon you're so sexy aha

[bittenbyants]

I saw this in my sleep paralysis dream this morning

[vintage-sweden]

Eva Rydin as Lucia, 1955, Sweden.

[reavercide]

Gerald Brom

[russkayaliteratura]

“I’m already twenty-three, I’ve been working for a long time, and my brain is dried up, I’ve become thin and ugly and old, and nothing, nothing gives me any satisfaction, and time is going on, and I keep thinking I’m moving away from any genuine, free life, moving further and further away, into some abyss. I’m in despair, and I can’t understand how I’m alive, how I haven’t yet killed myself…”

— Irina, in Anton Chekhov (1901[2002]) Three Sisters: A Drama in Four Acts, Penguin Classics, p.255 (via enduring-ephemeral)

[bittenbyants]

Wow wouldnt it be cool if I was like other 22 yr olds I know and like not be concerned by or even entertain the thought of m*rriage

[bittenbyants]

I hope u (the reader) kno that the more u see me here the more gross im feeling irl so I escape and embody a sexy mysterious (ideally) online persona

[bittenbyants]

Tfw u recognize a fellow traumatized alcoholic autist woman ♡_♡

[bittenbyants]

Plagued by visions hermit sun/drone manual laborer rising

[bittenbyants]

With the amount of arguing I do against impossible unbased strawman arguments in my head I should just become a youtuber

[bittenbyants]

I need a balcony to just chill at im tired of smoking on my buildings front steps and having to interrupt my daydreams to say hi to my neighbors