bitterpoem

Musings of a bitter muse.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

violent resistance to violent oppression wouldnt exist if there was no violent oppression in the first place. casualties of violent resistance to violent oppression are ultimately the sole blame of the violent oppressor

[gunlovingpacifist]

Nelson Mandela disagreed with everything you just said. And that's why he was able to unite a whole country

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

i love when you lot invent these holy meekly pacifist images in your head of people you were told youre allowed to Value and Appreciate but only as those holy meekly pacifist images spoonfed to you by your own propaganda machine and you never as a grown adult bother to google if it was all really sunshine and rainbows and care bears philosophy that affected the state of apartheid in south africa

[escuerzoresucitado]

[bitterpoem]

bliss

Ever since I met pure bliss

I stopped thinking for myself

And only to keep her in my life

Don't matter if she sometimes must go somewhere else

Or if I should pursue other friends

I only ever wanted a fix of her sweet harmonies

I stopped looking after myself

At least in the ways that mattered

I stopped looking for new horizons if I could keep her always within my grasp

I must ser aside easy bliss and melting hearts

To look for what is raw and real in life

I must find myself again in all that hurts and all that can heal, alone, by my own hand

[bitterpoem]

Today I remembered

Riding the long distance train with you

Blue sweater and cold hands tracing my future

I look back on that Easter weekend

And wonder if you do too

I dont know if it's hindsight or the signs I missed

But a year on from then it's so obvious you were leaving

Barely four hours of sleep and a tired week

A faded rush and a late anniversary

Nowadays I moved on

I no longer miss you or your presence

I only wonder if you're doing okay

And if you remember the train

[bitterpoem]

Stranger code

In your stories

i am just as bad as her

Though I'm louder

And have longer hair

We're both the thorn in your hero's journey

The girl, the girlfriend

The one you get bored of kissing

The one who never seems to listen

A needy whimp or cold strained bitch

And it's all about poor you,

Trying to make things right

You never realize the fact you have to try so hard

Is what makes me cry

You write of a third who comes along

Who magically makes it easier

Don't you realize every relationship takes work?

That you must kiss and you must fuck to make love?

You have to have the guts

To look us in the eye

If you want to abide by this strange code

You'll never again be with a pretty maid

Nor find a girl with superpowers or short hair

But your prince charming is a long way

If you think you can get by avoiding yourself,

Forgoing affection, neglecting direct conversation

Only you can save you from yourself

And it doesn't seem like you want to

[doubleedgedhead]

[bitterpoem]

Spare

The truth is that I hated you from time to time.

I know it isn't fair,

And that it's cruel to detest the things you claim to love about the other,

But in truth they're just roadblocks to the kind of love that I crave;

A greedy fairytale I know doesn't exist,

But have to claim for myself.

What else can I aspire to then?

Simple contentment? One lonely soul coaxing the other into a resemblance of life?

I know I wasn't good,

Because back then I was knowingly mean to you.

The simple truth is that I can be both the victim and the instigator,

But never innocent.

We both hurt:

I took so much from you while you held such valuable things from me;

So don't go around saying that you tried your best, when neither you nor I did.

I truly really loved you at the beginning.

But getting to know you,

Getting to really see you,

Made me find a nothingness behind your eyes that made me sick.

I could never get a reaction out of you by being me,

So sometimes I became a straight up bitch.

[bitterpoem]

Late night talk

I was pretty miserable towards the end

But when we were alright,

God did you make me happy

I will never love another like you

Not that I believe I have lost my great love

It's because I know I will never know my first clumsy love again

All consuming and nauseating

"Kills your idea of self" perfect

Now you've gone and made a martyr out of you

I never said i knew you better than yourself, but you hid behind a mirror

I knew you put yourself down to never face my love

An awful joke and a rueful grimace

An always tired individual

Bent and broken by the passage of hollow time

I know you think of me

As i think of you

Its impossible to erase our years in such a small space of days

I cannot know if you miss me or regret me or ignore me

I can't recall your warmth in my bed or your voice anymore

But the memory of you is ever present, hardly concrete, only fleeting

Exceedingly less painful, slightly bitter...

[bitterpoem]

I should bloom after two full moons

What I'd do if I truly could

Would be wounding you with my words

I'd etch on your mind every thing unsaid

Instead I content myself with what I've unearthed

Meager realizations regarding the instigator

Of a bitter negotiation

Of lidded affection

[yearningheart]

when frank o'hara said "it is difficult to think of you without me in the sentence" and "if there is a place further from me i beg you not to go"

[thoughtkick]

“If someone makes you feel, let them.”

— Reyna Biddy

[primulaceas]

Mary Oliver, "From West Wind." Devotions

[grievingmoon]

“And I’d rather live with a tender heart, because that is the key to feeling the beat of all of the other hearts.”

Little Weirds, Jenny Slate

[bebemoon]

“I row my beautiful, temporary body through this water-lily world.”

— Mary Oliver, from Thirst; Six Recognitions of the Lord. (via xshayarsha)

[theotherkingdoms]

Tracy K. Smith, "Eternity" from Wade in the Water

[bitterpoem]

please, do keep on calling me the wrong name, make it yours, send a thrill down my being

[bitterpoem]

To the golden one I almost love,

I would give you my all my all just to feel you deep in my core

You are so much more than you can ever know

To have your slightest attention, your brazen affection, is the most generouus death I'll never know

I'll adore you even when I don't think of you, when I just think of what could be,

Yours